The Real Reason Why You Watch Porn (It’s Not What You Think)
Samir Gardner argues that porn consumption isn't driven by physiology but by a false belief that it proves masculinity and high testosterone. He traces how childhood messages and internet culture created this narrative, then points out that many cultures function normally without masturbation, suggesting the perceived value is a lie we can discard.
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Guys, this is gonna be the most important video you'll ever, ever watch, okay? I'm not saying this to exaggerate or for you to actually just watch this video until the end so it's to my own benefit, but it's actually one of the realization that I've made over coaching hundreds of people. And it's literally the biggest reason why people struggle, quote unquote, with porn or masturbation. So let me explain. When people masturbate or watch porn, the reason they do it is because of their perception around those things, okay? Now that we understand this, okay, we need to understand that our perception determines our actions, right? So our perception creates our beliefs, and our beliefs creates our thoughts, and our thoughts creates our decisions, and our decisions creates our actions, and our actions creates results, right? Pretty simple. Now the thing is, when people are in the middle of masturbating or middle of watching porn, in their mind, what is going on? They think to themselves, oh, I'm having sex. Oh, I'm a man. And that's the biggest, biggest, biggest reason why. They think, oh, I'm a man. Oh, I'm masking. Oh, I have a bunch of testosterone because I'm jerking off, I'm having sex in my mind, right? We all know that you're not actually having sex. Even if it's thousands of women naked, you're not having sex, right? It's a fallacy. Like, you're literally not having sex. Like, objectively, physically, it's you with your own self. You do whatever you do. You watch a video, you masturbate, right? There's no sex about it. Like, it's not sex. It's like you're telling me an apple is an orange. No. Okay, maybe it's a fruit, but it's not an orange, okay? What I'm saying, okay, what you need to understand is that the biggest, and the biggest reason why people watch porn or masturbate is because of the lie they've been fed in childhood, which is that if you watch porn or masturbate, you know, it's a substitute for sex. And that, you know, if you have sex or watch porn or masturbate, you'll feel extremely manly and that, you know, it's like James Bond type vibe and that, you know, you're gonna feel masculine, you're gonna— it shows that you have a high libido, that you have a lot of testosterone and all of those things. And you watch porn and you masturbate, and then you're like, no, fuck that shit, it doesn't even make me feel manly, right? But because you feel manly in the moment being, that's a lot of value to your brain, okay? You gotta understand that humans act based on perceived value. So if you perceive value, if I perceive value, for example, in writing down something, okay? Let's say I'm writing down notes for an exam, right? Well, if I am writing down notes for an exam, right? And if I let you take notes, I'm gonna be able to cheat on my exam, for example, and I need to cheat on my exam because if I don't cheat, I'm gonna fail and I might not pass this year, then there's gonna be a lot of value, a lot of perceived value attached to actually just writing down, right? Now, the thing is people, see it the same. They think it's because— they think that the pen is literally what gives the value, whilst in reality it's your perception and how the pen can be useful to you. Okay, now when people watch porn, the biggest belief that they need to change in order to stop watching porn is to really deconstruct the value attached to the fact that if you watch porn and masturbate, it's, it's because you have a lot of testosterone, libido, and and masculinity and that you wanna conquer women and all of those things. Because think about it, porn is just like a screen, it's a lifeless video. It's literally just like you watching a video and jerking off to yourself to it, right? And then masturbation is just a physical buzz with yourself that you're just trying to finish quick. Like there's nothing special about it, right? There's literally nothing special about it. Objectively, and what objectively means, it simply means You know, physically talking, basically, there's nothing special about it. There's nothing like, oh, it's gonna spike up your chemical and it's gonna give you so much dopamine and it's gonna spike up your brain activity and, you know, you're not gonna be able to control yourself anymore. No, none of that. That's all bullshit that NoFap gave you and porn industry, okay? Porn in and of itself won't make you feel more masculine. Just question yourself, where did that belief came from? Because you'll see that in the middle of watching porn, you'll be, or masturbating, you'll be like, I feel like a man. I'm watching myself in the mirror. Like, I feel like I'm on top of the world, right? I feel like I'm a G. In the middle of, yeah, yeah, maybe afterwards you don't feel like that at all. It might, maybe you feel the opposite, whatever. But in the middle of doing it, you literally feel like this, right? You literally like feel like you're actually having real sex and that, you know, sex is like, means that you're on top of the pedestal. But the thing is, who told you this? I'm making this video to show you that you have flawed beliefs that you don't even know why you believe in them. You just accepted them because it came from maybe, you know, another YouTuber, maybe another guy on the internet, or maybe someone else. You just accepted those beliefs not because you have critical thinking and that you start thinking and questioning your beliefs. No, you just thought, oh, you know what, you know, if, if I have sex or watch porn on my aspect, that means that I'm a man, I'm masculine, it gives me testosterone boost, my libido, whatever. And then you say, oh, there's actually studies on this, even even though you didn't even read the studies. What you need to understand is that belief, just that one belief out of other beliefs, just like that one belief is the biggest one of, you know, oh, if I watch, you know, or if I masturbate because I have a lot of testosterone, I'm masculine and all those things. Just that, okay, creates so much perceived value around porn and masturbation, even though both of them have zero value. Objectively, that now that value that you perceive makes you create the urges and you watch porn and masturbate because of that. You feel like you have no control, but the reality is because there's so much perceived value, you're internally motivated to go towards the perceived value. Okay, just think about it. If there's so much, if let's say, let's say I have a cup of water, right? And I'm very thirsty. Man, I'm gonna be feeling like an urge to go and drink water because I'm thirsty and I wanna end my thirst, right? It's not, it's not, it's not, oh, I'm drinking water unconsciously because I need water to survive. No, you need to understand that humans are not dumb. But when we feed ourselves certain beliefs like, oh, you know, if I wash once because I'm more masculine and I have like testosterone and libido, You know, there's so many people that don't watch porn, don't masturbate, not even a single time in their life, and have more testosterone than you, have more libido than you, have more masculinity than you, okay? If you look at tribes, go and research right now, look at tribes. There's a lot of tribes that live, you know, this primitive lifestyle. They don't even know what masturbation is. In their whole, literally, okay, in the world history, they don't even know what masturbation is. In the history of their tribes, obviously porn is not there, but you know, they don't even know what masturbation is. They don't obsess over sex. They don't even have arousal. You gotta understand that we've been fed so much limiting beliefs and, you know, a false sense of reality that we actually believed in it. And because of that, because we believe in it, we act according to that, and that creates our reality again because we reinforce that reality. So go, guys, please question. No porn doesn't make you feel more masculine, more, more testosterone, more libido. Go and question those things, and you'll realize that The reality is it's all a lie, and you need to become free if you want, obviously.
