They Have Corrupted Your Lust (How to finally remove lust)
Samir Gardner argues that lust isn't biological but engineered by capitalism through porn, dating apps, and wellness industries that profit by tying sexual activity to worth and status. He claims tribal societies show lust is culturally conditioned, not inevitable, and proposes redirecting desire toward spiritual identity instead.
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So guys, the business of lust. Okay, let me explain why you even lust in the first place, because most people, including me in the past, we used to lust, for example, fantasize or just like want to constantly do that thing, right? And we didn't know why. It's like, it felt like it was just like natural, right? It was just like a biological thing that just happened to us and that we had no control over, that it would happen if we don't have sex, right? But that's just a pure lie, okay? We'll get to the root cause of lust, and this video's gonna be so valuable because this is things that people just don't talk about. They just don't know about those things, okay? And lust, the thing is, lust is a business, okay? Now let me explain to you one thing first of all, okay? The basic thing you need to understand is you have a thing called the sexual hardware, okay? So the sexual hardware means basically that you have kind of like an hardware that you can choose to activate whenever you want to, okay? So for example, a computer, well, you open up the computer, you activate the hardware when you want to. The computer just doesn't just like open up at random times, okay? And you have, for example, and this goes with like many other things, let's say for example, You have on the other side, and this is just one out of many, the anger hardware, okay? So what I mean by anger hardware is you can feel anger when you want to, meaning that, look, you can choose to activate anger just by thinking about something that makes you angry. You can choose to feel angry when you see something that makes you angry, or if, you know, you, whatever, something, someone does something that makes you angry, for example, right? But it is based on what you think will make you angry, okay? Because for example, if I see someone starving, it might make me feel like, you know, like, okay, that's it, right? I don't really care. But if I— but for someone else, it might see someone starving, be like very angry, like, why did he do this to him? Like, whatever, right? So that's just based on my own interpretation. I activate that anger if I want to, not at random times. A lot of people think they feel angry at random times for no reason, but the truth is just they don't want to see the real reason why they're angry, okay? And the same thing is for the sexual hardware, meaning that that emotion of anger, you don't feel it out of nowhere. You only feel it when you see or think of something that makes you feel angry based on your own interpretation of, you know, what will make you feel angry, right? The sexual hardware is the same thing, meaning that you don't just start lusting out of nowhere without having any control, and that, you know, it's just forced upon you, or that like you cannot do anything about it and it's just popping up at random times. But more so, it is something that you actively choose to do based on your interpretation of, is it something that you think is, you know, basically, um, attractive, like sexually, right? Whether in your own mind, meaning you're thinking about physically having sex, or you're thinking about a single woman that you find attractive, whether it be on social media, whether that be in real life. But then that's the thing, okay? You can choose to just never activate it if you want to. Meaning you could, for example, be walking in public and you see like beautiful women like with revealing clothing. You're like, I don't want to activate my sexual hardware. Meaning I don't want to. It's not cause and effect. And this is what people gotta realize. It's not like you see a woman, you activate that, right? Because what if, okay, you see a beautiful woman, right? She looks so attractive and you're like, oh my God, imagine I have sex, right? You start fantasizing, you activate that sexual hardware, which is like your sexual drive. And then she turns around and you see it's actually like a man dressed up as a woman. Do you really think that it was just cause and effect? Meaning like, oh, this is a woman, so my biology tells me to do it. No, it's based on your own interpretation that this was a woman, even though it wasn't. So you see, it is not a chemical reaction, it's not a biological reaction, it's not a cause-effect reaction. It's more so you deciding to activate your sexual hardware because you reason that this is something that you want to, you know, activate your sexual hardware for. But the thing is, look, you can see like the most beautiful woman you ever saw in your entire life and you can just reason that like, you know what, I don't want, you know, lust over because I think this is morally wrong, right? Or I can be like, 'Oh, because if I lust over it, then that means I'm weak,' right? You don't need to lust, basically, okay? What I'm saying is that it's not biological to think about having sex with every woman. Look at tribes. I talk about this in my book. Tribes literally, okay, many tribes that have not been influenced by this society, by this capitalistic society, have not, okay, literally been shown that they have sexual arousal in public. They don't fantasize in public because this is something they just don't do, right? So is it really biology or is it you know, based on what we want, based on our own interpretation, based on our own mind, okay? You gotta make the difference. The sexual hardware is like, yeah, you can lust whenever you want, but it doesn't get activated randomly. It doesn't get activated when you see a beautiful woman. It doesn't get activated when there's some revealing or like, you know, adult content in front of you. It only gets activated when you want it to be activated based on what you think at that moment. Because for example, if you're in a party, right? Let's say you're around friends and randomly you see porn on the screen, you're not gonna just like start lusting and start like wanting to jack off, right? That's what you need to understand. There is societies nowadays, there's tribes that like literally live in pure nudity, right? Where women are topless or even like, you know, you see their entire body, yet they don't lust over them, right? Tribes literally see the woman's body when let's say like she has like a large, you know, hips, enlarged breasts, they literally see it, okay? Let me just see if I'm recording. I'm recording, thanks. So, they literally see it, okay, as just a natural difference in the human body or as a sign of fertility, right? That's it, they don't fantasize. They don't like, oh my God, what if I do this position with her and I have sex with her? You see, like, it is not natural to think that way. I'm not saying that you're a bad person or that you have a disease. I'm just saying that we've been told to do this so many times because of business, okay? So that's what we need to understand because also, if you really think about it, I'm gonna make the difference between a desire and an actual survival need because a lot of people think, I'm looking at women lustfully because I'm not having sex and having sex is a reproductive need so I need, I needed that, that's why I'm constantly looking at women lustfully or I'm constantly fantasizing and thinking lustfully. That's not the reason why, okay? And let me tell you, okay, because this goes deep, okay, this goes very deep. But first, the act of sex, right, or any sexual behaviors, right, is literally— okay, first of all, a lot of people think they don't have sex, so they're gonna masturbate. But there's tribes where they practice sexual abstinence, and they don't masturbate either because they don't know what masturbation is. There is people nowadays that just never been exposed to masturbation, so they don't do it. There's people that start after puberty even though they're not having sex, like multiple years after puberty. There's some people that start before puberty at the age of like 5. So is it really a biological act or is it something that we're told to do and that we're told to perceive value in? Okay, because look, sex is a desire, okay? It's not a— it is not, okay, a survival need. Because think about it, okay? What does sex bring that people say it's like biological and that's why like we need to have sex? Kids, right? Having kids. Does everyone want kids? Not everyone wants kids. Some people literally never have kids. Some people stay celibate. Some people are priests, for example. They don't engage in any sexual behaviors. There's some people that are asexuals. They don't even want to do any sexual behaviors. So is it really a survival need? Obviously not. I mean, if I'm hungry, I need to eat food or else I'm gonna die. If I want to have sex, if I don't have it, I'm not gonna die, right? It's that simple. It's a desire, meaning like it is a very valuable desire, obviously, because you're able to reproduce, uh, within marriage, you're able to, you know, deepen your relationship, many other things. But if you really think about it, it is not something that humans need to do in order to survive. It is something that they can do to, you know, it's like basically like having a shelter, right? Like if you have like a very good shelter, then yeah, it's better, right? It's actually like very good, right? But then shelter is actually linked to survival, right? But you know, it's like imagine that, is this a bad example? But it's like sex is just something that we don't need to do, but we can do if you want. Because look, there's many people that wait until marriage, right? It's not because you've heard stories of people that at casual sites even though they were very religious, that now it's just something that people will do. You gotta understand, we live in a whole very, very sexualized society, okay? And let me tell you, right, how does that work? Because let me give you some very good examples. I had a student who I coached just for a little bit. He had like, you know, I couldn't, he didn't want to be coached again because he had problems in his life that wanted to, be taken care of basically, and he wasn't committed. Okay, let me tell you straight up, like, uh, we have like 30 videos and you watch like 6 of them, right? There's something like when I coach people one-on-one, I say, you know, if you're gonna do this like the same thing I just told you, then it's not gonna work out, right? So this guy came in, right, and he told me something. Uh, obviously I'm gonna keep his identity private because, uh, every student is private except if they want to show their face. But he basically told me, look, okay, this is where I say business is important to understand when it comes to lust. It's because he came in and he said like, look, I went through a dating program. That's what he said, a dating program where it's like you learn how to flirt with women and have then casual sex with them because that's what most dating programs are nowadays, right? It's like, because men really want to have casual sex, especially living in a society where it's like, People are not married, people are not in relationships, whatever, right? So guess what? He wants to have what we call casual sex, but he's religious, so he knows he's not gonna choose to do it. So the thing is, what happens, he goes through this dating program, he becomes like very, you know, like he becomes flirty with women, like he's actually confident with women. He's able to tell them like basically, you know, many things that he's not been able to tell them before, right? In terms of confidence, obviously. And it feels good. But then he tells me that it feels very bad, and especially back then, because the women don't really show any signs of interest in having sex with him, right? And even though he doesn't wanna have sex, and you can probably relate, right? It's like you don't wanna have sex because you're religious, you don't wanna have casual sex, I mean, you just don't wanna have it within marriage, but you still want women to lust after you, like want to have sex with right? And so he wanted that, okay? And he felt like he was unworthy because the woman didn't want that. He felt like very insecure. He was like, is it because of my physique? Is it, you know, it's because, you know, I feel, I feel down and everything, right? And he felt bad because he couldn't have casual sex with him, basically, right? Even though he was not gonna, you know, actually do it probably, right? He felt bad. It felt like very low, right? It felt like it was just like basically unworthy, not confident, unattractive, all of those things, literally, right? And so it made me think, right? And you know, something I already knew kind of about, but it was like, look, if he doesn't have casual sex, even though he became very confident with women, what does that tell us? Is that sex, okay, There's the saying that says sex sells, but you know, sex or sexual behaviors, right, is for many men nowadays the key. Okay, so what? Guess what? It's the key to feel worthy, confident, attractive, and so much more, right? Like, I'm saying, like, you know, literally, and this is a sad thing, uh, I say it, you know, that I realized by coaching multiple people is like, people would rather be in a relationship, you know, having sex, and having like a relationship with a woman than having a real relationship with God, okay? And the relationship with God is so important. We're going to talk about it. But people would literally attach so many things to sex that they literally think that the whole value that they have within them is based on sex, right? And then it gets reinforced by what? Guess what? Okay, what does it get reinforced by? We have nowadays the red pill, okay, which is very like mainstream, especially if you're in the masculinity slash self-improvement space. It gets reinforced by rappers, which is a big one. Because if you really think about it, you're listening to music and the guy constantly talks in a confident way about like how he's sleeping with multiple women and that he's basically like the G and that like, you know, he has so much money. He has like different things that you might want, for example, confidence, for example, money, for example, success. And he says, but, and I sleep with so many women, they lust over me basically. So it's like you unconsciously, you know, this is what we call authority bias. If you wanna be like someone else or if you believe that guy as like basically the keys when it comes to the particular subject, then you're gonna just believe him blindly, right? So unconsciously or subconsciously, you have those things. Then you have movies, okay? Then you have media, okay? Then you have the biggest of them all, which is the sexual wellness industry, okay? And guess what, okay? You have all of those things that literally say that sex is one of the best things on earth, right? That it is the key to so many things. Obviously they don't say it directly, right? They don't say explicitly that, look, they don't say word for word, if you have sex, you're gonna be able to be confident, right? They don't say word for word, but the way that they portray it, okay? For example, movies. You watch James Bond. James Bond is this masculine guy that you wanna be like. Successful woman literally go and lust after him. And when he has sex, it's like an euphoric scene, right? It's like, oh my God, you know, he's about to have sex, right? And for example, I was watching Fight Club the other day. There was a woman that had like cancer in the beginning of the movie. And she said, my last wish before I die is to have good sex. So what does that tell us? It's like unconsciously we think, wow, it is so valuable that they literally wants to have sex before they die, right? Because it's not like the actual sex, like people having sex that looks so valuable, it's how they portray it, right? Because okay, if it's two people kissing, right? But movies, they literally portray different things in order to make you feel a certain way. So now you start associating those feelings or those ideas to the act itself, right? So sex, for example, right? So that's what happens. The media, I mean, look, we've been growing up with YouTubers nowadays, right? We've been growing up with different social media influencers that talk openly about those things, right? So that's what you need to understand. The red pill, I mean, red pill constantly says in order to be confident, you need to sleep with 50 different women, right? That's what you need to understand because when I give you the example of one of my old students, His reasoning behind like, you know, this was like, you know, it's like he watched so much red pill stuff. And I know it because based on the way he talked, it's like in order for him to feel valuable, he needed to be able to sleep with women. If he didn't sleep with women, then that's what happens. And you know, I've talked to also people that believe the same way, then they actually had casual sex and they felt like it was meaningless, right? It was like, what is the point of doing that? And then if you really think about it, right? If you wanna be that successful masculine, whatever you wanna be, like a man of God, for example, and you wanna have a family, you wanna have a woman that actually finds you very attractive, well, do you need to lust in order to get that? Because I'm just thinking, for example, I'm thinking about like, you know, athletes, for example, that are very masculine, that are like, you know, people I would look up to in a sense, and they're very religious in some cases. And these guys, you know, they don't lust. Like they don't like just talk about lust. They don't just talk about like, how they're having sex and everything, yet they're more masculine than like 99% of people. Just look at, for example, if you watch UFC, Khabib Nurmagomedov, a very religious guy, literally like, it doesn't, you know, it doesn't have like, it doesn't just talk about sex, sex, sex, right? And he's more masculine and he's like very, very religious. So that's what you need to understand. I realized like, look, lust is not something that you need in order to feel like a man. It's just the make it like this, whether it be movies or red pill, so that they can sell you something. For example, okay, sorry, I keep looking at my camera because my phone always dies and it just pisses me off 'cause I just recorded this video like 2 times in a row, okay? So look, movies, okay, what happens, okay, I was, sorry to repeat, but I was in a group, right, a network group with different people that were entrepreneurs, coaches, whatever. And there's a guy that sold a dating coaching program, right? And obviously he's pretty successful with it, which is nice and everything. And the guy basically said, I remember, I still remember this message till this day, okay? He said, look, if you wanna be successful in life, you definitely need to know how to sleep with different women and sleep with them and be very confident and be able to like approach every single one of them in order to be successful in life, in order to live a fulfilling life, basically, right? And he said that with full conviction, to the point where back then I actually believed like, yeah, this is actually true. And then he said, look, for example, you have Andrew Tate and Tristan Tate, they literally slept with so many women, look at where they're at now, right? He didn't say it like word for word like this, but he said like very, very similarly, right? And at that time I was like, oh yeah, that makes sense. Then, you know, then I thought about it recently, I was like, wow, I was— I used to think like this. But if you really think about it, like Objectively, well, look, there's Mark Zuckerberg, there's Jeff Bezos, there's Elon Musk, there's Bill Gates. These guys probably don't even know how to flirt with women when they were on the come up and when they became successful. Yet, like, in a sense that they didn't just sleep around with women, yet they're more successful than 99% of, or 99.99999% of people, right? So I'm thinking like, this guy, is just trying to sell his program basically. And it doesn't mean like he has like bad intentions or that he's just trying to do it for the money, but I'm saying like it just makes sense. He believes in it so strongly because, I mean, if you, if you say for example, well, you're going to become successful if you know how to sleep with women, and people who really want to be successful, and you talk to them, that to those people that really want to be successful, then you're more likely to want to buy his product or a service. That's normal business. I mean, look, if I tell you, for example, that, um, if you're— obviously there's objective things. Obviously if you're more confident, you're going to be able to achieve way more. I don't disagree with that, right? Or if you have, um, better social skills, you're going to be able to achieve way more. That's like objective, right? But saying like sleeping with women, and you know, which is morally wrong— I didn't even talk about the morality side of things yet— but Also, think about it, okay? So if I say to you, for example, this is something they did, okay, in the 1960s, which is very interesting. The 1960s, they basically, there was a very popular industry nowadays, which is above $1 billion industry, which is the sex toy industry, okay? Sex toy industry, Obviously, I mean, who's gonna buy sex toys, right? Like, it doesn't make sense objectively. Like, you know, are you gonna go up to a tribe and say, "You need to have sex toys in order to live your best life." And they're like, "What the heck are you even talking about?" Even for candies, which have a lot of sugar, which people say, you know, sugar is literally linked to your survival because you need it based on your biology. They give candies to a tribe, they tasted it and they thought it was tasting weird and they didn't like it, right? Candies, which has a ton of sugar, right? So I'm just saying, okay, sex industry, imagine you go to a child, you say, oh yeah, you need that sex, or you need this and that, you need porn to live. Makes no sense, right? It makes like literally zero sense objectively. Now the thing is, what they did, for example, in 1960s with the very popular feminist movement is they said, okay, they said that, I mean, look, women really wanted to be empowered, okay? They really wanted to be more empowered because look, it was, you know, you can say it's because now they won the war, so now they wanted more freedom, whatever. But like, there was this feminist movement that was being preached, okay? And personally, I believe that huge part of this was business, right? For business purposes to make money. But feminist movement basically said like, you need to be empowered. I mean, you need to be a woman that's empowered. If you live, with a man, he provides for you and does all of those things, that's a bad thing. It's like, and then to try to bring logic to it, right? And then now many people nowadays believe that message basically, right? But back then, they said, you know what? They wanted to be empowered. So they said, you know what? If you use sex toys, right? And you have sex with yourself basically, well, you're gonna be empowered because you're not gonna depend on a man in order to have sexual pleasure or in order to have sexual experience. right? So now instead of just seeing it like, okay, sex toy, what am I going to do with it, right? I don't really need it, I don't even masturbate, for example. But now they think, oh, so I don't need to depend on a man, I can be empowered, which is what I want, because if I'm empowered, then I'm going to be able to live my life to the fullest, whatever marketing messages they add around feminism. And it just linked it to that, and then boom, sex toy industry started popping. Because back then also, what we need to realize is what they did as a business with lust and with masturbation, for example, is they reduce the stigma around it by making it, uh, a subject that people talk about openly. Okay, so for example, they made a lot of jokes where in The Simpsons there's like, um, scenes where they talk about certain porn stars or they talk about masturbation. In Family Guy, same thing. In certain shows, I think there's Friends, for example, and there's many other shows that literally talk about those things. They literally bought books. I mean, you can see it nowadays, it's very prevalent, but They literally bought books to literally sell it, not necessarily, sorry, to educate people on like why masturbation is valuable and how it's like, the main message around masturbation is like it's a natural thing for men to do based on, I mean, their biology and that it's a self-care routine, right, to do it, right? Self-care, right? Like it's very valuable for you. So people don't think of masturbation as just like, you know, you're having sex with your own hand, right? They think of masturbation with all of those different things. They think masturbation, for example, is self-care, right, for men. For women, they might think masturbation is empowerment, right? I still, you know, I don't know how I got to that point, but one time I was on Instagram and I saw like a woman talk about like how she was, you know, she obviously, I don't wanna insult anyone, but you know, she was a woman, I think maybe she had one kid, she was like divorced or something. I'm not exactly sure, but she was talking about how she had masturbation session and it was so empowering to her and how it was a force to her, right? So I'm thinking, how does this make sense? How is it masturbation linked to empowerment? I mean, look, you can literally do things that objectively bring you empowerment rather than do something on your own self and then say it's empowerment, right? Doesn't make any sense. So that's what I'm thinking. The sexual industry was there. I mean, sexual wellness industry, how are you gonna be able to sell different things, right? Like whether it be condoms, whether it be porn. So for example, porn works the same way as any social media. They advertise on the platform. So the longer you stay on the platform, the more money they make, right? So obviously they wanna hook you in and make you spend more time on the platform because that's like the biggest way for them to make money is through other people paying the platform in order to advertise on the platform so they can sell the product, right? And then, you know, we have NoFap, which is literally helping porn up if you really think about it, because they tell you you're an addict, right? When they tell you you're an addict, you have that self-image that you're like a deviant person, that you're like, you know, this guy that just goes to porn even though he doesn't want to. So now you have that excuse, you have like, you're gonna have your actions aligned with that, which means that you might go and pay their subscription model, you might go on these live sites where it's like you pay the model, you might go on OnlyFans, and now they're just profiting from it, right? They love when they literally know that, you know, you think you're an addict and you're gonna come back to it compulsively, right? They make money like that, right? And I'm not saying this so that you don't watch porn by any means. I'm just saying this because this is the objective truth, okay? So they make money out of lust. It's not lust, it's something biological. They make money out of lust. So if you're constantly fantasizing, because really think about it, the only way to like learn about a fantasy is either by, you know, basically consuming information around it, whether that be through video, reading, whatever. And that creates a fantasy. And then they tell you like, oh, you can satisfy the fantasy through porn, you can satisfy the fantasy through OnlyFans, you can satisfy the fantasy. And that fantasy, what you need to understand is that fantasy can never be fulfilled because it is a fantasy, it is not real. So then what happens is you're just like literally in this endless loop of trying to like fulfill that fantasy, you feel bad, try to fulfill it again because What is it? Porn and all of those things, they give you empty promises. They tell you you're going to feel the best in the world, right? If you lust, if you do all of these lustful behaviors, and then boom, like you realize actually there's nothing happening. Like, you know, I'm not getting intimacy, I'm not getting a real relationship, I'm not like getting all of those things. So that's what happens. It is a pure business idea, right? To tell people that lust is just natural and that you have no control over it. Because the reality is, I mean, look, for example, when people, they watch porn and they masturbate and they feel shame, sometimes they just don't activate what we call the sexual hardware for many days. That's what I realized. I was like, look, I'm not activating my sexual hardware when I used to watch porn and masturbate for like multiple days, and then I activate it again. But I realized it's just because in my own mind, I thought that, you know, I shouldn't activate my sexual hardware because I realized at porn masturbation is useless. For multiple days and then I was like, "Oh, actually no, it is useful," whatever, right? So I realized that really at the end of the day, it is just something that, for example, when we look at women lustfully in public, you don't just think about, you don't just think about, "Oh my God, she has a beautiful physique," or, "Oh my God, she has a beautiful face." Obviously you don't think about those things, right? When I was young, for example, I still remember I saw a, at my age, right? I think I was maybe 13. I saw like a woman at my age back then that was like in a yellow dress and I was like, wow, she's so beautiful, man. She has beautiful hair, whatever, right? And this was my preference. But as time went on, I was told through porn sites, I was told through social media, I was told through rappers, I was told through movies, whatever media, that, you know, the certain body parts of a woman, for example, her butt, for example, her breasts, is like literally the gateway to sex, and that sex is the gateway to feel worthy, confident, attractive, and feeling valuable, right? Feeling like I'm actually the real man, right? Like I'm actually the real deal in that sense, right? And that if I didn't have those things, then I will never feel as complete, right? I will never feel as fulfilled because it will constantly be in the back of my mind that I don't have that thing, right? That's what they told me. And so obviously, when I've seen a woman in public back then, it was like, oh my God, and start fantasizing because I'm like, imagine not only can I get sex, but I can get what sex is gonna give me, which is feeling worthy, confident, attractive, valuable, and so many other things. And obviously the days where I was not feeling worthy, I was not feeling confident, I was not feeling attractive, I was not feeling valuable, I was not feeling good overall, they were the days where I wanted to actually fantasize and actually have sex. That's how they sell their products. They don't just say, you're gonna have a physical experience. Who cares? They sell on what it means or the benefits it's gonna give you. You don't buy a Lamborghini just because it has certain materials that you cannot find anywhere else. You buy a Lamborghini for what it means to you. You buy a Lamborghini because you think it's gonna, for example, make you able to show off in front of your friends. That it's gonna make you feel like you're higher in hierarchy, right? That you're gonna be more confident, that you're gonna be able to attract more women. That's what it means to you, like the benefits, right? You don't buy it just because of the materials, right? So they've been brainwashing you around what sex means to you by saying like, you know, you're gonna get all of those things and so much more, right? And that basically this is the gateway to euphoria, to be honest, right? That's what they tell you. So you realize that that lust inside of you is not something that just rages inside of you and that just like bursts out and then you need to get a release through masturbation. Bollocks. They just basically put you in a fear state where they tell you, look, if you don't, for example, and this is another myth they say, is if you don't have like, if you don't fantasize, right? Or if you don't activate that sexual drive, that sexual hardware, then that means that you have, for example, low libido, right? Low libido, you're less of a man, right? You're basically less testosterone and so many other things. And then they make you think that if you don't have those things, well, you're never gonna be successful. You're never gonna be able to attract women if you don't have testosterone, if you don't have libido, whatever, right? And then guess what? You're obviously gonna start fantasizing because if you think that you don't fantasize, then that means there's something wrong with your body. Then you're actually, and this is crazy, you're actually gonna fantasize in order to feel like you have those things still, right? And then they try to prove it by saying, when you're sick, you don't really think about sex. But the reality is, well, you're distracted by it because you're sick. So obviously you're not gonna think about sex as much, but you could still think about sex if you decide to think about it, right? You could still arouse yourself. That's what you need to understand because arousal starts in the mind, it doesn't start in the body at all, right? Except if it's like morning wood, but we're talking about like actually like fantasizing and lusting, okay? So that's what happens. So it is a huge brainwashing. Lust is literally a huge, sorry, it is a huge business that profits the sexual wellness industry, sex toy industry, and so much more. There's porn sites, right, obviously, There's even the prostitutes, there's the OnlyFans. And look, if you don't think that lust is valuable, well, you're not gonna activate it. But it's just been telling you that, no, it's natural, it's biological, cannot do anything about it. Because if you really think about it, right, this is where first for me, like, all logic kind of like broke apart. I was like, okay, you know how we have like different like fetishes around sex, right? For example, we want oral sex, right? We all know oral sex. Well, do you think that like a primitive guy was like, "Oh, I need oral sex based on my biology"? Obviously not. This is something I say to my students because a lot of people want oral sex and there's nothing wrong with that, right? Let's say for example, you want to do it with your marriage. I know it is, you know, permitted. But I'm saying like a lot of people obsess over that and they think that's basically gonna give them euphoria because in their own mind, they associate, for example, oral sex to she's doing something taboo for me, so that means I must be worthy, confident, attractive, valuable. So they want the blowjob to confirm that, right? The blowjob, the oral sex, right? But if you didn't think, if you just thought it was just like physical sensations, then you wouldn't care as much. The same way for me, if I see a Lamborghini, I'm like, yeah, that's cool. I mean, it's a cool car. I know people are gonna respect me for that, but I don't really want it. I mean, it's cool, so I'm not really gonna buy a Lamborghini. Like even if I had, let's say I had the money, right? So now what we realize is like when we don't lust, we literally think we're like not having that feeling of worthiness, that confidence, the attractiveness, the value, the how we don't have the libido, we don't have, we're not a man anymore, we don't have the testosterone. So obviously we're gonna decide to lust constantly because we want those things. So if we can confirm it just by lusting, then we will do those things. But what you gotta realize, and this is the key lesson, okay? You as a man don't need to lust, okay? You, even if you don't sexualize yourself, we often have that fear like, oh, if I don't sexualize myself, then that means there's something wrong with my health. That means that I'm not gonna perform when I'm gonna be married, for example, right? The truth is you have a sexual hardware, like I said. You can choose to not activate it, but it will still remain. It will always be there. For example, you can choose to activate it when you're gonna be married and activate that lust, activate that sexual drive and whatever, right? But you don't need to activate it right now. You can literally say, you know what, I'm not gonna mentally arouse myself. So many tribes do this, right? Because they just don't see the point in fantasizing in the first place. So that means you can do it too, okay? Now the lesson I wanna give you, okay, before I end this video, there's a famous philosopher called René Descartes, okay? And René Descartes said, Man is born free but in chains everywhere. What does he mean by that? We are born free, right? Obviously, you know, we're born, um, and we can do whatever we want in a sense, right? We have free will, but in chains everywhere. We get told to do certain things, we get told to believe certain things, we get told to, uh, I mean, we get expected to do certain things, right? And let me just look if I'm recording. But we get told to do all of those things. So we get expected to do those things, whatever. We get expected to believe certain things. And so we have like those chains everywhere, right? For example, if you look at people in school, for example, right? You are born free, right? You can do whatever you want, but you get told, for example, that in order to be accepted by the group, you need to do this thing that goes against your morals, right? You need to sleep around with that woman. Or for example, for a woman, they need to sleep around with that man in order to feel confident, for example, right? right? Or in order to feel like, you know, they're gonna be finally accepted and feel attractive, for example, or whatever, you need to do this challenge with them, which you don't want to do. And you need to be cool like them. You need to have the same clothing style, whatever, right? Now, the lesson behind this is, look, you can have all of those chains and live your life in chains everywhere, right? And like, literally always be held back based on what society expects of you. And that can be so many different things in so many different areas of your life. Which is just a miserable way to live. Instead, what you can have is simply one chain, and that one chain can just be God, right? Instead of thinking that in order to feel worthy you need sex, in order to feel confident you need sex, in order to feel attractive you need sex, in order to be feeling valuable you need sex, in order to, uh, have the libido you need sex, in order to feel like a man you need sex, in order to feel like a spouse you need sex, or do whatever is the substitute of that in your mind, whether that be porn, masturbation, or lust, right? Instead of thinking that, just realize that, look, you can be a man of God and that's literally the highest form of masculinity that exists. You can be feeling valuable just by realizing that you have God. You can be feeling attractive just by realizing that you have God, right, by your side. Obviously, I'm not saying don't do anything with your life and believe God. You still gotta do things on your own, right? But you can be confident because you know you have God, right? And you only fear God. And you can feel worthy because you have God. So you have one chain. You can just have one chain. Instead of just following whatever society expects of you and think that you need to feel like a man, you need to have sex and do things against your own morals, you can just follow God and you'll be fulfilled in that. Literally, this is, we live in a capitalistic society. They wanna remove God from society because they know that, you know, you're constantly gonna need things basically, right? In order to get that self-esteem shot up, right? To go up, right? You always wanna improve your self-esteem. You always wanna like, you know, basically make it go higher. But if you have God, you don't need to do all of those immoral acts that serves nothing, okay? And that's what you need to understand. So lust, it is just a business idea. Even if you choose to not lust, you see nothing wrong with what happened with your body. There's even studies on this where it says like, you know, if you don't masturbate, there's no correlation with prostate cancer nor with health. There was a study done in 2016 that you can read about. I made a video about this. So that's what you gotta realize. You don't need to lust. It is up to you. You can choose to lust whenever you want. And I'm not here to force you to not lust. I'm just here to tell you that it is fully within your control, meaning that the same way you can choose to feel, for example, the emotion of fear, is the same way you can choose to feel if you want to lust or not, okay? And even if there's beautiful women in public, you don't even need to look at them if you don't want to. You're fully in control. Don't believe in these business lies because they just wanna make money out of you, obviously. So if you wanna learn more about how to quit porn, masturbation, lust forever, I actually have a free school community, which is a private community. You can send your membership application and I'll see if I can accept you. And you'll be able to get access to a 2-hour course that I literally used to give to my students and maybe soon the book. So anyway, Samir Gardner, peace.
