Why EasyPeasy Readers Still Relapse (It Is Not What You Think)

You read Easy Peasy, you understood it, you felt free, and then maybe a week later, a month later, you gave in. Not because you forgot the book, you remembered everything, you had that confidence that you'll never ever go back, and it still was not enough. I've personally read the Easy Peasy method over 4 times, and there's a reason why we— and there's a reason why we keep on coming back despite knowing the truth about porn. And once you understand it, You will see exactly why the Easy Peasy method stopped working for you. Here's what happens to almost every person that reads Easy Peasy. Day 1, you feel clear. A desire comes, you remind yourself that porn gives you nothing and it passes. It's easy. Day 3, same thing. A thought pops up, you push it away because the information is still clear in your mind and you move on. Day 7, It happens again, but this time it takes a little bit more effort. You have to remind yourself harder. You might be lonely or bored and you try to fight off that little monster. Day 12, it's a bad day at work. Maybe you didn't sleep well. You're tired, you're lonely, you feel down. The desire comes back again. And this time you try to push it away like you always do, but you just do not have the energy anymore. So you give in and afterwards you think, what happened? I, I knew the truth. I read Easy Peasy. I understood the book. Why could I not use it? That right here is what we call ego fatigue. And it's one of the reasons why most Easy Peasy readers end up right back where they started. Ego fatigue is simple. Every time you push down the desire using mental force, you use up more of that mental energy, that mental space. Think of it like a battery. You wake up in the morning, it's full, but every time you resist something, the battery drains a little. Someone at work pisses you off, you resist getting angry. You see a notification on your phone, but you need to focus, you resist that. There's junk food that you really love, but right now you're trying to eat more healthy, but you really like that food, you resist it again. By the end of the day, the battery is obviously low. And now if a desire for PMO shows up, You try to again resist things, and now there's nothing left in the tank. That is not weakness. That is just how the human mind works. You cannot, and you should not, just push down your own desires over and over again and expect that at one point they will just disappear. You know what actually happens? They come back, and they come back stronger. And often it puts you in that state of abstinence binge. You go a few days, a few weeks, maybe even a few months without porn and masturbation, and then you find yourself one day helpless, wanting to watch porn, but at the same time you know that you will regret it, and you end up doing it, and then you decide to binge for the next few hours, or maybe even the next few days, and then you start the streak again. Here's the issue for most people that read the Easy Peasy method, and they don't realize it. Most readers of this book think, I just came across the best method to quit porn. And sure, The information presented in this book is mind-blowing at first, but the truth is you did not stop resisting your own desires. You did not stop fighting them. You just changed the weapon you resist them with. Before the book, the weapon was probably willpower, discipline, cold showers, keeping yourself busy. And after the book, it's logic. Well, if I watch porn, it's not going to get rid of my stress. It's actually going to create distress, but both are still weapons. Both drain you over time. Real freedom, and listen carefully, real freedom does not come from finding a better way to resist. Real freedom comes from having nothing to resist in the first place. And that is a completely different thing. Let me show you what I mean. Think about a food that you loved as a kid. Maybe it's those cereals that were very sweet, but now you could not care for it. Sure, it would tastes good, but you don't really care. If someone put it in front of you right now, would you have to really resist eating it? Most people will not even think about it, except if they're still eating the food that they were eating from childhood, which I hope it's not the case if it's unhealthy foods. But there's nothing to resist. There's zero pull. This is what real freedom from porn looks like. It's not a daily battle where you keep winning. It's a state where there's no battles to begin with. So here's the fix. When the desire shows up, you do not push it down and you do not give in. You do something completely different. You reinterpret it. Instead of treating the desire as something to survive, you look at it and ask, what is it actually? And when you look at it honestly, you won't see it as a threat or a test or a little monster or a powerful urge or temptation or trigger. You will just see it as a passing thought. A passing desire that is just passing by, just like hundreds, thousands of thoughts and desires that we have on a day-to-day basis that we do not give much importance. It's like receiving junk email. You open your junk email folder, you take a quick look at it, and then you don't really care. You just skim through it and then you focus on the inbox, which is your life and what is in front of you. When you see it that way, there is nothing to push against. The desire showed up, you saw what it was, and it passed. There's no energy spent, the battery is not drained. And this is the difference between suppressing, which creates ego fatigue as neuroscientists calls it, and reinterpreting. Suppressing says, I know this gives me nothing, I shouldn't think like this, I know there's no pleasure, I know there's no stress relief, it'll only make it worse, I would feel shame if I do it, I would regret it, and it takes a lot of mental effort. You're in this constant mental battle. Reinterpreting says, oh look, this is just maybe a leftover signal from an old pattern, from an old habit. It is not even a real desire. This is just noise. And that takes almost no effort. And it just gets easier over time because, as psychologists have talked about, the mind— if you try harder to not think about something, the more you're going to think about it, the more it's also going to come back and it's going to be even stronger. This is what we call the ironic process of the mind. And there was also the White Bear Experiment that they did that demonstrated that those that try to suppress and those that try to not think about a certain thought or desire would think about it way more than those that were not even trying in the first place. When my clients learned this, something really clicks. They stop bracing themselves every time a thought shows up. They stopped treating it like a test, which they would panic over, and they just lived their life. And it's not ego, it's not them being overly confident. They just realized that the truth is this is just an old pattern that is fading out and it doesn't mean much. And these thoughts and desires, they do not need to be fighted because they don't really mean anything. So if you read Easy Peasy, just like I did, I read that book 4 times. I lurked the Reddit many times. Trying to understand the book even more in depth, and you're still going through this cycle, just like I was, of feeling free and relapsing, ask yourself this: Am I actually free, or am I just really good at resisting? Because those are not the same thing. Freedom by definition would mean that you are not fighting anything anymore, that you are not resisting something on a day-to-day basis or even on a weekly basis. If you're still pushing down desires, constantly, then you're not free and ego fatigue might catch up. And I'm not saying this to scare you. I'm saying this so that you can start seeing things differently. The goal, I'll remind you, the goal is not to win the fight. The goal is to not even participate in the fight to begin with. If you want to learn how to actually make the shift, not just to understand it, but to actually live it, I work with men one-on-one to help them get there where I will personally help you reach the point where there is nothing left to resist. If that is what you're looking for, link to book a call is in the description. I will see you guys in the next one. Peace.