EP 72: Bull Sharks, Birds, Home Invasions, and The Truth About Dog Anxiety

Do you believe in any conspiracy theories? Gotta be careful this doesn't become the canine paradigm, but go on, give me an example.

I don't, you know, I don't know many of them. I know there's people who really, like, look into it, but I don't really know any actual. You mean you're like, we didn't land on the actual moon or something like that? Yeah, no, I think we did. I think we didn't. I don't think we did. Like someone did.

The evidence against is pretty compelling.

Is it?

Yeah.

As compelling as the fall?

Yeah. Probably more so. Yeah.

Is it?

Yeah, I don't really give a. Either way.

No.

Like, I couldn't give less of a

moon if we wanted, so.

Well, the main argument against is we've not landed on the moon since because we lost the technology to be able to do so.

Oh, really?

And there's a certain layer of atmosphere that we are currently do not have the tech to permeate in the world, like of Earth.

All right.

If we can't cross it without, like, it blowing up this rocket or some shit. But we could 60 years ago.

Yeah. Now, did they stick that thing on Mars then?

Well, we lost the tech.

Just like.

Yeah, someone's misplaced it.

I don't know about that.

Yeah, that's what I mean.

That's not. Doesn't that doesn't sound that plausible.

Nah, doesn't, does it?

I mean, I glue. I get. Losing your keys and then finding them again.

Yeah.

But you think it'd be pretty important. Yeah. Listen, this is. Yeah. I don't know.

Are there any dog training conspiracy theories?

Yeah, anxiety.

Go on.

It's not. No, it's not a conspiracy, but there's a. There's a poisonous category of people who are telling people every dog is anxious because it's reactive.

That's true.

So I don't know is a conspiracy theory because it's just true. It's just this. There is happening right now.

Do you think people say it because of. It draws accountability from themselves?

Yeah.

And therefore, like, because it's anxious.

Yeah.

There's nothing they can do about it and nothing they've done that has caused it.

I certainly think that's why people buy into it so much.

I want to be on record saying that a lot of symptoms of anxiety we see in dogs is less so from actual anxiety, but stressed caused from behaviors that were previously working, no longer working.

Yeah. Yeah, I like that one. Yeah. I think control stress is like. That's like an easy way of Putting it. It's massive. Yeah, 100%.

So the dog that you leave, and there are exceptions to this case, but the dog that you leave in the house and it kicks off and then really stressed, I think a lot of that stress is created by the hope and then expectations not being met. So I bark, you come back. You come back 50 times in a row. Then one day someone tells you you're not to come back. And then the dog is stressing that the previous thing did no longer worked.

And then they go, oh, look, see, it is the thing.

Yeah, but is that the thing also?

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.

Is that therefore anxiety? Did we just refute our own point?

Maybe. I think that's like anxiety is the future thing though, isn't it? Forecasting the future.

Uncertainty of future.

Yeah, uncertainty,

yeah. But they forecasting that they don't know what's going to happen and therefore.

No, because have always come back.

Yeah, that's true.

I want you back now.

Yeah, that's true.

I mean, I don't know. It's similar as well. Like when people say, oh, my dog got separation anxiety. And they'll say like the dog's in the crate there and you're sat here and it's going mental. Like you're not separate. Yeah. So it's probably more of a confinement stress or control stress thing than a oh my God, you've left thing when you sat next to the. The crate. It's just, it's okay to, for, to, to. For the dog to have a patty, but it's not okay. But it's okay to like believe the dog is just having a patty. Yeah, it's okay.

They do do that.

Really do.

Yeah. That's all right. They're gonna live probably.

Usually.

Yeah. It's interesting one, isn't it?

Yeah.

So where does that leave the conversation?

I don't know the reason why it was so kind of top of my head. We've got a boot camp on right now and these couple, real nice couple, adopted a Doberman. He's a European Doberman. Do you remember Gary?

So the one with the really long legs.

He's got a long legs.

He's like some thing off War of the World. He's like a deer gangly. Yeah. It's crazy.

Do you remember the main fox?

Yeah, he's like a main fox. Put one of them up there, Pops. And the War of the Worlds pull out there. Yeah. And then put daddy Long Legs up there. And now put the dog up and you try and tell the difference. You won't be able to.

They're really, really nice. They've had to dig with a whole bunch of stuff and they're convinced he was terrified of dogs. Right. And even when I got him out with a dog and he's like jumping, like playbowing and shit, he's like, why is he kicking off now? He's scared, isn't he? I was like, I don't think he's scared. I turn to Alicia and I was like, do you think he's scared? And she was like, no, but if I got that wrong, you. You kill me when you. I was like, yes.

Yeah.

But he's. He's sound. He's like. He just really wants to get to the dogs, which maybe is stressful that you can. Yeah. But it's not anxiety in terms like, oh, my God, I'm going to die. Anxiety. God, I can't get to the thing.

Yeah. I really want to get to the thing and now I can't get to it.

Yeah. And there's been a couple over the last few weeks. He's. He's a real big example of it. And especially where they've been told that that's. This is the case. Yeah.

It's like every dog trainer reverts to calling a dog anxious, don't they?

Yeah.

Just think it's just because they just run out of answers or something, or you don't know, and they're just like, oh, anxious.

Yeah, yeah, it could be.

Do you think it's just like the squeaking and then everyone automatically thinks anxiety because the dog squeaks.

Yeah.

And there's so many other reasons why a dog might squeak.

Like it could be a visual or a Doberman in there.

Yeah. It could just be a whopper.

This is going to do anyway. Big bully accident where he's not going on big dog. He's a bit of a squeaker as well.

Who, Shadow?

No, the one on the boot camp.

Oh, yeah, the big fella. Yeah.

In fact, last week's boot camp, there was a shepherd called Marnie. They were also under that impression. She wasn't so anxious. She just had a lot of beans.

Yeah.

A lot of gyp. And she was just laying out in a crazy fun way.

Yeah.

We still got a 100 record of going to the pub on a Friday with the boot camp.

Yeah. Maintained. Nice. How did that go last. Last week?

There was a little tiny bit of spice. Was there, but it wasn't the shepherd. She did have the domino effect, but they stopped it pretty easy. It was the tiny little. Not labradoodle Cockapoodle.

Fellow Cockapoodle.

Cockapoodle.

Cockatoo.

Yeah.

He.

He instigated the violence. And then there was a couple who. It was a punch up, but it was. It was over in a bar fight. It was a bar fight. One dog hit another with a glass. Yeah, it was amazing.

One dog picked up a chair straight

over the back of the head. Brick stabbed a guy. Yeah. No, but they stopped it really quickly. It was good. We didn't get kicked out. That's pretty good.

All right, well, as you were. Would you like some briskets? Did they bring you this brisket? They usually do.

No, they didn't. I think they know when it's like, obviously when you're training mode. Yeah. Bumble got some brisket last night, though.

No, sorry, I'm on essential food only.

Yeah.

No, no, I couldn't possibly.

No, he says that. Motivation. Brisket dip.

Give me a taste of the good stuff.

I'm going.

There's really no going back. So we've been working on a couple of things. You better not have. Just not even showing it to me.

It's like feeding a mugwe at midnight.

Hang on. If you feed me any non essential food, shit's gonna go.

Yeah, there's a water thing and a food thing with the gremlins, isn't it? But I don't.

Yeah, you know, you can't feed them after midnight and you can't expose them

to water at all. Right.

And they go from Maguire to gremlin.

Kind of sounds like a bull breed.

Yeah, in a way. In a way.

Don't get it near water and. Yeah, fair enough.

Don't look it in the eye. Yeah, yeah, nice.

But no, they did really well, actually, because she was. She was a chippy little thing. Was the real small black shepherd, but very. Oh, yeah, high revving. You saw.

She was quite squeaky.

Yeah, yeah, but they were. They were really. It took them a couple of days to be like, okay, we need to fix this now. But then they knuckled down and did a real good job.

Good on them. Yeah.

Quite rewarded my yesterday incident with the shepherd. The. Sorry, I know.

Oh, yeah, come on, tell that story. That's a good one. Give some context to people.

So I'm. I'm working my way through a reply to an email, quite a lengthy one. And I get a video from

the ex Mrs. Yeah.

For want of a better word, the ex Mrs. Yeah. Saying there's a shepherd in me chicken

running behind the Electric Kirky has chickens, by the way. How many chickens you have?

This is a soft subject as well.

Oh, God. She's taking the chickens.

They've been whittled away.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

10 to 10 chickens.

Chicken prenup.

Chicken up. Chicken up. Probably 10 to 12 chickens left in two individual runs inside a boundary electric fence. So I get this video through my crazy. Yeah, we got a lot of foxes. So I get this video through along with the caption, there is a shepherd inside the electric fence.

And in this video, like, it's just. That was it.

Yeah. And it's just.

It could have been a German shepherd or it could have been a bloke with a stick with a crook.

That would have been so much better, wouldn't it?

See towel around his head.

Like Moses

Nativity.

He's got a big piece of brick with Ryan on.

Yeah, I know.

I'm on my way. Where is it?

There he is. I thought he a German shepherd. No, no, no, no, no. Look at this guy. He's got sandals on.

He has sandals. So get this video on it.

So at this point, we've got an undisclosed shepherd in the run. So we're all sorts of going through our head.

Yeah, yeah. Some sort of ufo, we don't know. Yeah. Anyway, dog's in there and it's like a shark tank. It's just fucking going around and round. Yeah, like round, around the outside of the runs, just like this.

So it's not in the second layer, the final core.

It's not breached yet.

Nice.

Okay. No. So I was like, you got a

picture of him, haven't you? We'll ping him up here. There you go.

So fuck in my head, like, fuck knows where these dogs come from because there's no shepherds live, like, in the houses next to me. I'm like, well, fucking. It's come from somewhere. So I shoot home and I get there and you know what it's like when you don't know what the thing is going to be like. And I'm like, all right, I'm looking at it and I'm like, right, I'll go out. I didn't have cheese, but I did have some ham.

Nice.

So I was, like, tossed. It was a bit like, Windy sees me and just like, nah, I'm having fun chasing these chickens, Bob. So I've got me trusty slip lead.

Yeah.

Big thick one, so I can keep the loop nice and big. And I've got my ham.

Yeah.

And I Frisbee'd a couple of hams at it.

Yep.

It's like this at first. Are you throwing shit at me? Yeah, I get it. But sniff it. I think you're gonna like it. Then it started scoffing out and then. Brilliant. So I just like threw a couple of bits closer and then did the

old Hansel and gretelled him.

Kind of did. And pulled him in.

Yeah, you crumble.

Trailed him in. Crumb. Trailed him in. Yeah, like, this is looking okay. And it's kind of looking like this, though.

It's actually got a box and a stick.

Really big. Really big box. And he. Fucking neighbors, like, looking over the fence and that. Watching. I'm thinking this goes wrong.

They're like, he's apparently a dog trainer.

He said, don't throw cheese. Smarts. Ham, Jude. Anyway, threw it through it, held it out, stuck lid over his noggin. And then within a few minutes, she was all right, but I'm like, well, you know, it's hard, isn't it, when you get a dog? So we rang one vet and they were. I was like, right, can you scan this dog's chip? Yes, we can. Like, right, okay. What happens afterwards? Well, we can't keep it. Right, okay, cool. We'll just scan it and I'll take it home then. Oh, I don't know about that. I'm like, right, so what do I do? Scan it and just release it into the wild. What the fuck?

Be free. Go.

So I rang the fucking girls in the office and then they rang Claro Hill for me and they were like, yeah, fine, come and scan it. If we get an id, we'll keep it. We'll give it to whoever it is, and if not, you can just fucking look after or whatever. They were just cool with it. So. Brilliant.

Shout out to Cairo Hill, sponsor of today's podcast. Yeah, that's. That's it.

They were really nice. Yeah, they're fucking accommodating. And they were just like, oh, thanks for not just turfing her out and all that.

I don't think they would have sworn, though.

No, they did. They were really polite.

Thanks for that, Ian. Nice one, mister.

Thanks for bringing this in here and not letting this dog kill anyone. Anyway, I left my number and I was just like, look, if. Do not put it in a pound.

Yeah.

Basically was my caveat. Like, if the owner doesn't come ring me, I'll come get her. Because we know that Pounds can do crazy things. Yeah, Right. And she was a nice girl. She was a bit Windsor Dildog, was it? Yeah.

Oh, I thought it was a boy dog.

She's called Shelby in the end. Oh well, not in the end. She's probably always called Shelby.

She ended up being named Shelby.

I then named her Shelby. I put a sword on it.

I shall now dub v Ms. Shelby. Yeah, all right. What happened? Finish the story. Sorry.

Yeah. So then I came back because I had a session. Not session, cuz she left the do

you left Shelbs at.

Yeah, they were like. And it wasn't actually. And this is probably a good lesson, it wasn't the update something out of this podcast. It wasn't the updated details on the chip. So the guy they rang it, he had been his dog but wasn't anymore. So he then had to ring those. And then they got in touch with the vets and the vets rang me and said, oh, they're coming to pick her up. So they're really appreciated for it.

So the chip was registered to the previous owner?

Yeah.

And they picked the dog up. Where did it come from? Do you know?

Yeah, not, you know, Broadleaser stayed near me. But it's about maybe like a good.

Wouldn't be seen dead.

It's probably a good mile from me maybe. Oh, so she's but the daddy. I would chase the squirrels or something and just off and just gone, mate.

Gone from squirrel to road to chicken to car to cat.

Yeah.

To vets.

To the vets.

Was it friendly when you got after.

It wasn't friendly when I was trying to put her in the van. But I kind of get that.

Yeah, fair enough.

Some big idiot bloke has just stuck a lead on me and now he's putting.

Shoving me in the back of a van.

Yeah, yeah. You would only could have been worse if I put a hood over her.

Yeah, yeah.

So that at that point she was a little bit like, how about you go fuck yourself, big long idiot. And and we had a conversation about it. She went in and then when I got her out the vets, she was like glueing me. She was class.

Oh shelves.

And she was in good nick. She's not like she was abused or anything. She was in good nick. She was quality little dog.

Oh bless her. That's amazing. And then you come back here for a session, just show up.

I rushed back as well. I was like, fuck, I gotta get back. Go back.

And then you all went hickory's at me.

Yeah, but why though?

They left without saying goodbye.

Yeah, I've seen too many people here.

It takes too long to say goodbye. You just gotta leave.

Yeah, yeah. Just Send a message in the group. Wave emoji.

Yeah, all right, fair enough.

Laters.

That's funny.

Really good time, though. Took my dogs in there, they got some brisket.

Do you threaten to punch someone in the face?

I kind of did.

It was like, tell that story. Go on. This could lead us to some value.

Maybe it was kind of just non jest, you know when. Just come over and like, go this with your dog? Yeah, there's my dog. And I was just like, mate, are you going to ask to stroke my dog? Am I going to punch you in the face? What do you say? Well, he wound back off the dogs quite quickly. And then I heard it squirmed. Yeah, it was a bit squirmed.

Flailed like a magical.

It kind of felt bad, but at the same time not. It was Bumble. So you don't know. No, there was food around, so you just don't know.

Oh, hickory's is good though, innit? Yeah, Considering it's a chain place.

Yeah, very good. And the stuff is really good, though. The dude brought over, like, two full bowls of water. Bumble tried to waterboard himself with one of them.

She mean just.

Yeah, he just rams his face in it and he drinks until he spews and stuff. He's crazy.

That's nuts.

And then they brought over these tiny little. These little, like cardboard things with a piece of brisket in the bottom. You got one for Starkey the other week.

Yeah, he loved it.

Yeah, I love it. I don't see why they wouldn't love it.

It's amazing. Yeah.

But, yeah, really good joint. Very tolerant of Whoppers. Probably more tolerant than they should be. But, yeah, it was just one of those ones. So that literally immediately, maybe. Well, three, two. Three minutes afterwards, a girl came over and was like, what? Didn't she say? What did she say? Simon, can I. Oh, can I have therapy? Obviously, if I knew what she meant to stroke the dogs, right? I was like, all right, fine. You've been really polite. Okay, Dogs release. Kernel fully moved. So that would. That's a much nicer way of doing it. Right. I don't think the other guy's gonna do it again, but I did feel semi bad.

Would you rather be threatened to be punched in the face by you or bit by Bumble? That's the.

Well, yeah, true. Yeah.

But should we take our aggressive dog places in public?

No, we shouldn't. And he's not. But he's not. Well, maybe. No, we probably should. We probably should.

This is catch 22, innit? How do we socialize our dog that's not yours? There you go. Here we go. Here's some value. Here we go. We're onto something here.

The bumble's only gonna do it in certain circumstances. I don't think any of those circumstances would arrive.

Yeah, there's no wash baskets in Hickory's. Right. There's no wash baskets. Laundry baskets for him to guard. That's fine.

Yeah. There's no doors? No, no, there is doors.

Oh, shit.

So long as he's not too near the door, we're okay. Does resource together. Door.

So we have a dichotomy of as to weather. Do we have a duty of care to isolate our dog that has a propensity to be reactive and. Or aggressive?

Maybe for a period. Right.

And then. But then how do we acclimatize them to such said situations?

Yeah.

If we're not allowed to take them there.

Yeah, you've got to be a top advocate, that's for sure. So obviously when we take the boot camp team, we make sure the chaperoned by staff. And if people do silly things, we tell them they're being silly.

Yeah. What about muzzle?

Yeah, could use muzzle if it's real true.

If you're a bit soft.

Yeah, I don't think I've ever used one.

No, you do definitely use muzzles if you need to.

Yeah, no, I do use it. That's funny. Yeah, do use them.

So, yeah, it's a difficult one because if you. I've seen there's a reel that come up on my feed yesterday. It was actually one of my mentees and it just so happened to come up on my feed crossy. He had two very well behaved dogs and it looked like some sort of smackhead was trying to touch him or something. So he was like, no, they're aggressive, mate. And then he kicked off. As to why his aggressive dogs were off a leash even though they were immaculately, like behaved. Yeah, I don't think they are or were aggressive. I think he was just saying it to stop the smack head touching. Smack had kicked off.

Yeah.

Who was? The smack head was topless too, when it was nighttime, which is pretty nuts.

Good rig or what?

Oh, God, no. He had a rig. Like a smack head.

Like ripped up though.

Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like 2014 Conor McGregor. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Fair enough. So, yeah, what's the answer there? Because sometimes you can have a really obedient dog that would ch if it got too close.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've spoken about that length before.

If you do strokes and that can be a false positive, can't it? Like. Yeah, sometimes you can have really obedient dogs taken out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then I suppose you'd probably have to be an even better advocate because people are going to see it look like a happy go lucky, and then go, oh, cool. Tick, tick.

Yeah. You know, it's annoying when you take the sausage dogs anywhere. Everyone wants to constantly molest them. Yeah.

There's no wonder they get brassed off, is there?

Yeah, yeah. Like everyone. And then they. They're like, have a bit of a grumble or whatever. But then people don't take them seriously or listen to them either, because they're small. Yeah, yeah. They're like, oh, that's. And, like, just trying to put their finger in their mouth. And actually, it was a bit of an epiphany moment that. Yeah. It's probably likely that since a very young age, where they've been taken everywhere, everyone is constantly so intrusive to their space.

Yeah, yeah.

And constantly just trying to pick them up. And then even when they say, hey, I'm not comfortable.

Yeah.

Perhaps the owner will be like, oh, she's just being silly. Or the person.

What?

And it's so common. It's strange. The person feels a duty of care to try and, like, bring the dog around and, like, tame it.

Like me. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, no, no, I've got one of these. Or my, you know, my sister's got one. Or dogs, love.

Yeah, that's the best one.

Yeah. I'm really good at dogs, so I don't take them out for that reason. Yeah, they don't do it to stock, no less. So anyway, yeah, it's funny the difference between, like, walking Stark and Kobe. If you walk Stark and Kobe out in public, as soon as anyone sees him, they'd call their dog back and put them on leash. But if I was just with one of the sausage dogs, they just let their dog mop over and.

Yeah.

Which I find is quite interesting. Yeah. So there's maybe a little bit of

that problem with Little John because people are just like, oh, he's a cute little stuffy. And obviously he loves people. So he'd be looking at the person, like, happy as. And then they're like, oh, he's gonna hug your face in a friendly way.

Yeah, he's doing.

He's doing better, though, isn't it?

Easy. Weird little, isn't he? Well, we've got a couple of new additions at the yca.

Oh, there is some.

How many? There's a few, isn't there?

Well, definitely two.

We got Nora.

Nora, the little French bulldog.

We'll ping a picture up of Nora here from Shout out to Breeds In Need. Yeah, Breeds In Need.

She's doing pretty good too, I think.

Yeah, she looks super chill.

Yeah.

And then we've got a Little Irwin who's not named, but I think he's a. You know, if I say it on the podcast, Fez, short for Feral, as in the hat.

Well, whatever. Well, let's go for feral.

All right.

She's gonna make him feral, isn't she? I hope she does, anyway.

Nah, he's cute little thing actually at the moment.

Are they. Yeah, gone with a small, but they both got big.

I couldn't think of anything worse than having a puppy. No, right now. No, no, no. I could not think of anything worse.

Surely something worse.

No. Going through all the options in my head right now. Puppy would be right at the bottom there.

All right.

Would you.

Would you like one? I would like one. I don't have. I don't have the resources for one at the moment.

You got about half the resources you used.

Yeah, see, there you go. Look. Figuratively and literally.

Sign a prenup, fellas.

Or ladies.

Or ladies. Big Will told me that prenups aren't a thing in the uk. Anyways, it doesn't matter. It's an American thing.

So you just gotta suck it up.

You gotta suck it up, you gotta eat it. You just gotta make good choices in the first instance.

Yeah,

It's all good, mate. It's all good. Anything else you want to talk about?

You had an interest in mentorship epiphanies.

Started a new YouTube channel, all right, for business related. Dog trainer stuff. Very niche YouTube channel. But

mentees of the. Yeah, yeah, fair enough.

Those who exclusively train anxious, reactive Labradors. Yeah. Called Sven.

There'll be some.

Well, Big Will encouraged me to do it. So we bashed out six videos the other day, all right. But the. Sent the. Sent one off to the editors. It come back today.

It's pretty good.

Yeah, it's a bit glam, but it's all good.

Bit you, though, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got absolutely rinsed by K9 Optima. I think he defeated us.

Yeah, he did defeat us. Fair enough.

Good. Literally, me, I was belly laughing.

Yeah, yeah.

If you want to play fire, you got smoked, right?

I played it a couple of times.

Yeah. It was funny. Got us real good.

Yeah. Like put some time into it though, didn't he?

Yeah, I want to know how, whether it was off the cuff or he. He rehearsed it. It wasn't like cut and edited, though, so either way, kudos won us at our own game, which is, you know, it's impressive to say the least.

Anyone else give you any shit?

Oh, I guess every day screws.

Any of those people.

Oh, anyone I care about? Nah. The slightest fuck about. Absolutely not. It's funny, isn't it, the. No one's ever said anything to me in person, ever. And I've been around the block, no one's ever said anything nasty to me. But people behind a commuter screen are just nuts, aren't they?

Yeah, that's kind of the way the world these days, though.

Yeah, that's true.

Not exclusively that

area. Sorry, we have to wrap this up because you just had a stroke.

Yeah, I think I did. No, don't say that. Because you could. Yeah, just go easy on the salt.

Is that a thing or.

No? I don't think so. It's been debunked. That's another conspiracy.

You don't believe in conspiracy theories because all the ones you believe in, you believe to be factor, not conspiracy theories.

See,

you do have a feeling, but they're just not conspiracies, they're just factual. Yeah, yeah, fair enough. You are a tinfoil hat wearer to some extent.

Yeah, a little bit.

Yeah. But very strong belief, so I really

know what that means. What does that mean?

Well, the reason people wear tinfoil hats is because I think the aliens are reading their minds and it's blocks. It could be. So. Yeah, they could be. They probably are, bruv. On a podcast, right, The Joe Rogan podcast, Elon Musk said musky. And I'm not sure if he's a genius or an idiot, but he said, there's like one in a billion chance we are not a simulation. And then he rationalized it, which kind of convinced me. He was like, if you look at the last 30 years of development in video games alone, right? From it being two lines on a screen and a ball going back and forth.

Yeah.

And then like 30 years later. Yeah, Pac Man. And 30 years later, now you can put like, VR headset on, right? And be in it. Very, like, hyper realistic. That's just in 30 years. Like what happens in 300 years. Like, how realistic does it get? And we've seen the development of AI,

so basically the Matrix.

Yeah. But there's a good chance we are just some kid's video game, all right? Because you just like, imagine another 30 years from now. Like, how fucking ridiculous it could be. You could probably just like black mirror shit, just plug yourself in and just be someone else. And there's. Yeah, there's just a good chance that we are just.

Some people do that on weekends.

I'm seeing you as Terry Crews off white chicks. Although that's him in the longest. That's a big ass robot. Put a picture up there, pops, of Kirky on the weekends. So, yeah, I think we are.

Do you. Yeah. It's a win in a billion.

It will be indistinguishable.

Like, that's still not hugely probable, is it?

It's a one in a billion chance that we're not. Oh, so what he said, he was like, it's very unlikely that we're not in a. In a. Just a big. Yeah.

How many lives do you get?

I don't know.

And do you get those many packs where you can just go, I can do what else I need. It's good enough.

I don't know.

Yeah. So if whoever's playing the game. Any chance of a fresh knee? Yeah.

You know, he made a point about, like, if we are in a simulation, the most interesting storyline will always prevail. And I'm like, how interesting is a broken knee? Not interesting, is it?

All right,

what.

It's not. That's better off. What's the most interesting thing then?

I don't know. 9, 11.

Did that happen?

It definitely did happen, but there's the reason who conducted it. It's no joking. No, you know I'm joking. Well, no, I am joking, but Osama bin Laden went to like Cambridge University or something. Do you know that? We'll have to fact check this. But he did go to like one of the big unis and like. Yeah, he was like a billionaire's son and it was like really affluent and wasn't some like crazy guy in a cave. He was like, really clever.

Yeah.

So. And he worked with the CIA. Not as a CIA operative, but that's all like, factual. That's not even like some crazy opinion. Yeah, like, that's like legit the case. All right, make with that information what you will. Do you think vets push drugs because if they're funded by big pharma or what?

I think they push drugs.

And we know they push drugs. We know that. That's. That's not a thing they do. They do to.

To like behavior behind it. I don't know. You don't know.

Maybe it's more of a systemic thing than like a. Like they're getting commissioned off drugs.

Yeah. And it could be just what they know. Right?

Yeah.

Right. This is what. This is how I. This is how I would fix this problem.

This might be nonsense, right. And this is potentially not factual at all, just to be clear, but apparently the modules on behavior that are conducted in university veterinary student and degrees are funded by your big, you know, cannon and that. Yeah. And your big farmers.

Sponsored by gabapentin this lecture.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Yeah, let us know in the comments.

Yeah, it's cruel, but I mean, like, behavior wise. I. I don't know. What do I know? But there was a EBT on the camp last week and the vet specifically said, don't play with this dog. Don't play tug with this dog. It'll kill the baby.

That's crazy, isn't it?

Yeah. I was like, right, okay, so if there's a bowl of chips there, like food chips, and you're hungry as shit, and there's maybe a steak there and something else there, and you go to eat those chips and I say, no, you can't eat those chips.

Be hungry.

But you're hungry, you pick something else. Right?

Yeah.

Whereas I say, fill your boots with those chips. Maybe I save the steak.

Yeah. And in this instance, the baby kind

of like a steak.

Yeah, fair enough.

Just a really rare one. I don't know. I don't what the fuck you know? But it just doesn't. It doesn't.

It's sus, isn't it?

It's a bit sus.

Also. You want some tea? Bit of a calling out, but you know that dog behavior vet online, he posted a bunch of ads. This is sneaky. And he might sue me after this, but him. But he posted a bunch of ads. Susie stressing, look, she's like, she's sweating.

Could you be him in a fight? Yeah, easy.

Jesus Christ. Oh, we gotta discuss cherry hogs, too. The amount of people that saying you've left out cherry hogs.

One of those was me. Me.

But I've seen like three different ads from this guy now. Testimonial ads, right? And the person in each of the ads, one was like a written, one was obviously an actor that was paid, was. Was like my dog used to be reactive, two football pitches away. And then we've just completed a walk around the local National Trust park and it was perfect. And three different reviews, three different names, three different people said those two exact same things. Why are they focusing on football pitches and National Trust parks?

Maybe. What's that? All About, I don't know, certain demographic.

So I had a little bit of a dig. I want to try and like reverse image search the kid because it was obviously an actor with his donk that was just like a chilled out Labrador that wasn't ever reactive. So just be careful while you get marketed because people have posted.

Come and watch. Come stand on the wall here. About two hours time. And you'd probably see him scrapping. See an actual reactive dog.

What?

Wow. Sorry. I mean, we should evidence it, is what I'm saying.

All right. Yeah.

Flying the wall. We should get like a fly on the wall camera.

We do lives on YouTube now. Yeah, we're streamers. Well, you are. I'm a streamer. He's a streamer. Yeah.

And I'm more of a streaker. You took a video of me in the pants the other day.

Yeah. You were running around naked like a big overgrown baby. Yeah. People can give you money on streams. You say, drop me 10 bucks in the chat. Chat or something. I don't know. I've never, never worked a streamer in my life. I think so, yeah.

A bit like that.

A bit like it, yeah.

I bet you'd get a bit for that, wouldn't you? Depends on you.

Depends. Very specific type.

I don't know if I'd be paying you to like nude up.

No, I don't think nude at the moment.

K. Optimus, he says, I. I've already seen you naked anyway.

Fair enough. Nothing to shout about, to be honest. Yeah. So would we smash Terry hogs up? Well, obviously, yes, but have we got to rationalize it?

Well, he's from down south, isn't he?

Yeah, last.

But he's from Down South.

Yeah. Anyone above Sheffield would dominate.

Anyone else? We discussed that with Client earlier, didn't we, that she's just within Yorkshire, so she's probably okay.

Yeah.

Borderline the Peak District, slash Derbyshire.

Anyone else? Anywhere else?

Like you get away with it because you're from Wales.

Yeah, but I've lived my whole adult life here.

Yeah.

I'm 31 now, so I've done 13 years here.

Yeah, yeah, you were adopted. But what I'm saying is, even before your adoption.

Yeah, yeah. Wales, is it?

Yeah, yeah.

Joe Karzaghi, for example.

Yeah.

Joke. I was like, you just being one. I don't know who else. Sean Edwards.

You've got Joe Carsagi, though. He's pretty good, wasn't he?

Yeah, he was good. I don't know if he went unbeaten. He's good, though. Could scrap him right from Newport. His dad was his coach and wasn't even like a boxing coach or a boxer, just a bloke. He was actually just his dad. He was just coached by his dad, who had nothing to do with boxing.

Pretty much all coaches were just blokes at some point. All dogs that haven't bitten have. Bit have. Some dogs have.

Let's not try and force this about dogs, mate.

I was just trying to. Nah, it.

People aren't here for the dogs. They've told us. They've told us. They're about the box for a shirtless shirt. Yeah. They have five bucks to show my belly button and hajj. There it is.

Ten and alto. Chip.

Someone did ask me for a picture with my shirt up or something in Australia. Do you remember that? Yeah, I did do it too, I think.

Yeah, you did.

Again. Probably a bit of a letdown, but still. Whatever, whatever. Yeah.

He's from Downside.

Where does he live now?

He's not. He's not in England, he's in America.

Yeah, there's something about English people in America that like, blow up online because of. I don't know what it is. The Americans always like, oh, bloody Ali swore. Except they don't sound like that.

A lady on a call once said that I sounded like. And had the mannerisms of Kermit the Frog. Tom Hardy. And I was like, one, he's fucking short as shit, and two, he's from like, the worst. The opposite end. Yeah, it was quite funny at the time.

Well, no, Tom Hardy's actually pretty posh. Yeah, he puts a geezer accent on him.

He seems got Frenchie, though, isn't he? So he can't be too bad.

He's got a Frenchie.

Maybe that's where the similarity is from. He has a Frenchman.

Yeah.

Seems to be keen on his dogs. You should get him on the podcast now. You're a big swinger. Yeah.

Tom, just get on, mate. Take a break from filming. Just get on the old pod.

Yeah. What do you fancy? Nipping up north? Never any good yarn about Frenchmen.

He's in some good films. The film the Warrior is one of my favorite films.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, nice.

He's also Bane on Batman, so that's pretty good.

Yeah, he's done some great films, but he actually seems like a decent bloke.

Yeah, he seems sound, yeah.

Could you be human fighter?

Don't know. I don't think so.

There's a lot of actual jiu jitsu, doesn't he?

Yeah, he does, yeah. I just know I'D smashed canine Optimus face in. That's all I know for sure. I hope this gets sent to him as well. That text me after the podcast and was like, you got beef with K9 up to. I was like, nah, absolutely love him. Yeah, he's great.

I think he's fucking ace.

Yeah. Good beard too.

Incredible beard. I've got so much beard on me.

Yeah, well, obviously I have because of nothing I've got.

Yeah, mine doesn't. It's like.

Remember you tried a mustache. You didn't hold out on it. You didn't hold out on it. We might have a picture here. I don't know. You tried the handlebars, kind of. It was almost great. And then I think I made a comment and upset. You didn't. I think so. And you shaved it off. The next day you come in without it.

A wet shaved. No, I didn't, but I could have. Yeah.

You were upset by it. I think you look great. I was like. It was like a half effort though. You just didn't fully. You didn't fully. You had to like, like Bic the rest.

Oh, okay. But I don't have one of those. What do you mean? I don't own one.

So I usually go, your ex girlfriend's leg razor. They love it when you do that.

I imagine that when you do your bowl.

Sorry, not babe. Anyway.

Former babe.

Previous babe. Oh, do you mind if I use your razor? I need to do a handlebar mustache. Because you're talking about on the podcast J Rod today. And then just pause and wait for the answer.

Yeah, it's good. That's what we do with the. I won't talk about dogs.

Yeah, well, maybe sit them in the

choice point at some point and.

Yeah.

Off.

Who's trying to get us to talk about dogs? We don't even know who listens to this. Still, Simone will beat us up if

we don't at least talk about a dog and some point.

We've talked about dogs. Maybe talk loads about dogs. What do you want us to talk about? Just tell us and just let us know in the comments.

Hans would like to come back at the end of the year.

He said, there you go.

He wants to come see us. He said, might as well tie in with a. He was mainly the indoor facility.

Yeah.

Awesome winter. You've got an indoor bit.

Yes. Here we are.

Yeah, here we have. Look at it.

Here it is.

What?

Big, innit?

He'd love it in there.

He would too.

Look.

Yeah, well, he could use that. He likes to Talk, doesn't he? He likes a chair and a talk.

Not as much as Owen, though.

Waffle. Connie Top Waffler. I know. I've seen, like, diagrams and everything on the big screen the other day. Oh, nice.

I took.

Actually took a photo of it and then sent it to you in jest to make fun of you.

Yeah.

Calling you a boring for drawing diagrams. That's how anti boringness we are here. And you actually said it wasn't you. And I was like, well, obviously it was. Who else is it gonna be?

So it must have been. Turns out it was Owen.

Look what you've done.

Corrupted him. I've corrupted. Hey, I drew one on Monday. Yeah, it was a rabbit.

Do we have the picture?

I hope so.

You can get one.

It's a rabbit.

What was the point you were trying to make? And then maybe someone will get some value out of this podcast.

I drew the rabbit and drew the dog and was like, right, okay. Dog sees the rabbit. What? 9, 10 out of 10. Motivation.

Oh, you're talking dog economics.

Yeah. We got a dog who's real. Got real good food drive and we got real good toys. But sometimes, pretty much everybody was said a resounding yeah, Rabbit would win. I was like, yeah, obviously. So then we've got to make up the difference somehow. That was basically the conversation. The lad with the Doberman fucking sprayed me for my picture of the rabbit. So I just. All right, I know. I gave him the pen and I was like, go on then. Go on then.

Yeah, I'll draw a rabbit.

He wouldn't do it. He wouldn't do it.

You ever tried to draw a bicycle?

I can't say that I have. Do you want me to have a go at that?

Yeah. So what we'll do after this podcast, even though we'll flip it up live here right now, we're gonna go film him trying to draw a bicycle. And it's just a thing, like, it's something you see a lot, but when you try and then put it on paper and draw one, it's impossible. You just go like, no, I've got that. No. Yeah, well, it's happening now. And look, you not having it. Don't be so cocky, because it's happening as we speak right here.

Penny farthing.

Now, you can't draw Penny farthing.

Why not? Yeah, Brake lever. Okay. Crossbar. Yeah, Pretty good. It's.

It's actually. It's actually not bad at all so far.

Yeah. Pedal there, Little V, seat stem, little stem going up there. Little pointed. Racing seat yeah, yeah. Hover the wheel, Actually.

All right, we'll give you.

Do you want some taste.

Like being a penny father. I don't even want. Rub it out.

I don't know if you know what a penny pylon looks like to me.

Well past J Rod. You were wrong. You were very wrong. Pause this and throw it into the podcast. I'm flabbergasted right now. The quality of that bike.

It's my best thing I've ever drawn.

Yeah. Pressure pictures you put on weekly base.

Pressure makes. Yeah.

Draw your penny file in them. Well, in fact, you can if you want to try it. Well, it's. We'll give you a second attempt which be happening right now is. Right now. It's a penny farthing.

Oh, easy.

No, you've not done it. There you go. It's not easy. You haven't done it.

It's there.

It's there. You usually completely behind that looks like an umbrella. Yeah, There you go.

All right.

Can't do it, though.

I'll give it a go. There's a. Must be something going across there, right? Don't actually know, but that just bend, wouldn't it?

I had no idea. Are they sitting, bro?

Yeah. You got the seat there.

Yeah.

They used to have, like springs as well, didn't they? Did they? Yeah. Springs on the seat. No. Suspension back, like under the seat. Like two springs under each cheek.

Oh, that's been going up your ass, though. That's.

That's how we like it. Remember all the things I put on my ass on the licky ass? One of you spring at the spring.

Well, there's me proven wrong, and I'll be bad enough to admit it.

Well, fair enough. That's a first record. Let's play it on the screen in front of boot camps.

I will shut the hell up. Maybe there's a point to make there about generalization or something. Maybe there's a. There's some crossover point we can make about dogs at some other point. I don't know what. I don't know.

You might make a point about something in the future. Okay, hold your breath. Everyone buckle up. You might say something of.

It's going to be good.

Some importance.

Yeah, but not today.

Not today.

No. We can't give it all away. Do you know I've still not told on the podcast the Rice Krispies story.

No, you haven't.

I'm not gonna. I'll tell you what. You need to get 100,000 subscribers on YouTube. Yeah, I will come on the podcast and tell The Rice Krispies story. So if you want to hear the Rice Krispies story, go over to the YouTube channel and hit that subscribe button because it's the greatest story that's ever been told, ever. I also have a story about me fighting a gypsy in Spain in a supermarket, which I got pictured and framed on a wall. And then also when someone broke into my house and was stood over my bed in the middle of the night. That's also a good story. So you're curious, aren't you?

Yeah, he's curious. Yeah. I've heard both those, though. Yeah. Funniest, great stories.

Got into a full bout with a gypsy in Spain.

Yeah.

Full mashin's bout. And then also one in the middle of the night during COVID woke up and there's a. Just a blacked out figure stood at the end of my bed. Also a good story. So let me know your preference.

Not even paid for him. No.

Oh, right on time.

Oh, yeah.

You're early. But all right, whatever.

Fair enough.

There's three very solid stories there that I won't waste now because you. If you're here listening, you've got this far anyway, so I don't have to worry you in. Very unlikely.

Yeah, there's some gold coming. You've got something.

A thousand people listen to this shit. A thousand people. You couldn't fit a thousand people in this room. Why?

It's a pretty big room.

Yeah.

No, you probably see echoes. That means it's big.

What's your favorite bird? Winged bird.

Winged bird. I'm glad you clarified.

Oh, we got in trouble for saying bird, so we're not allowed to say it anymore. Sorry.

So you can't call it a bird?

No.

I really love red kites. I don't know if they're my favorite.

Why is that? Because they're local and.

No, it's because they put a red kite up there.

Please, Pops.

They're featured in a lot of stories.

Like what? Kez? That's a castrel. Is it idiot type of ornithologist, are you? Pinellas would be disgusted.

Well, they got persecuted to extinction. Did they, in England? For killing what? Not really killing anything because they're predominantly carrion birds, which means, like a crow, they just graze on dead shit. So actually they do a solid. They're a bit like. Yeah. What did you see in Africa?

Marabou stork.

Yeah. Similar to those geezers just doing a good cleanup job. But I think they were wrongly accused of mullering pheasants from fucking.

Oh, Posh. Yeah, Them in their faces.

Yeah.

Freddy's Law.

Yeah. So I think they were wrongly accused and they got persecuted.

Stop killing the thing we're gonna kill.

Yeah. Really slowly because there's about five of you.

Yeah.

And we've got guns.

Yeah. Grow up.

Yeah. So, like, wrongly accused of that, persecuted the shit out of them, became extinct in England and then they got reintroduced to Harewood House, which is that way a little bit. Yep. And then they're like thriving now. But I just love the way they move and I love the noise they make and the.

How able they are to stabilize their head. The OG gimbal.

That scares also. That's also.

But yes, that's also a kestrel.

Yeah.

We're talking about birds now, having sighted.

Not dissimilar colors. No. Yeah, not dissimilar colours. I don't think, like a male kestrel's got a bit of a. Bit of a tiny red kite look about him. Like a really tiny.

Just a smidge.

Yeah, but like a red kite's got nearly 2 meter wingspan as well. No, no, they do.

They're not that big.

No, they are.

No.

Yes.

Pops, could you fact check that for us, please?

A buzzard's small. A buzzard's wingspan's smaller.

Okay.

I don't know if the body's smaller, but the wingspan, definitely.

I think every podcast we need to come and bring a bird fact on.

All right. I've got a watercolor of a red kite at home. It's not on a wall, it's just on the floor somewhere.

You pick a pic, get a picture, picture of that up. Yeah. Interesting fact about crows. They've been documented to take, like nuts and seeds, put them on the road whilst the red light is on. This is true. They're like the fifth most intelligent animal on the world. In the world. On the world, in the world. And they will wait and they'll get off. They'll wait for cars to go over them to break the nuts and then eat it.

That's good.

That's clever, innit? Yeah.

I had a pet crow once.

No, you didn't.

I did.

No, you didn't, because you would have told me. Fine.

He was a sick one and I just. I fed him to keep him sustained around. So I say pet like it wasn't like. I don't know, what's the difference between a pet and just a solid mate? I didn't have many friends.

No, I can imagine. Wait, where you lived.

Yeah. All right.

I'm still your only friend. I had a single 45 years old.

It's true. Yeah. And again, it. Once he chinned the carpet guy. No.

You might be into birds more than me.

I'm heavily into birds.

They're good, though.

My granddad, they weighed me into it. I was a member of the young ornithologist club. I love a little pin badge.

Did you?

Yeah.

Oh, really?

Yeah, I love them.

They are good.

Yeah.

In my last house, right between pictures, candlesticks, rugs and pillows, there was 15 different birds. And the ones with wings,

only 15.

It's not true what they say.

No.

That's crazy.

Yeah, it is, isn't it? Well, like when you say, like pictures of them on model or statues or what?

Yeah, all of the above.

All of the above. Like.

Yeah.

What would you call that? Miscellaneous. Third miscellaneous.

Yeah. And I have one. A kookaburra.

Yeah.

A heron.

All right. Why did you pick those?

Particularly a garden. An English garden bird somewhere there.

Like a generic garden bird?

No, apparently it's a type of bird.

Okay.

It's called an English garden. Off pops.

Right.

Wait there. It could be. Yeah, just the generic term for.

It's a category of birds.

No. I don't know.

Yeah, no, it is.

No English garden bird. Nice. We can call this podcast the one about birds.

Yeah. No, yeah. No, it is just.

You were right. Yeah, you were right. I was always going to be right. I have two swallows. An eagle. Right. A kingfisher.

The kingfisher. Remember we saw that one thing on that.

Yeah, that's a good story. We might have already told it, but we'll tell you again. So we go to one of these. We're in Australia, right. And we go to one of these. I don't know. They. That when they sell experiences. An excavation now, that's when you dig a hole in it.

Expedition.

Expedition. I think. No, I don't know.

It wasn't really that either. It was just a booth where you could buy experiences of.

Yeah.

Things.

So we were like, we want to swim with humpback whales. And she was like, yes. Sweet. She tapped away. How many? Six. No can do. But what we can do for you is a canoe ride down in the Noosa Everglades.

Yeah.

And we are like one of only

two Everglades in the world.

Yep. We're in. And do you know what an everglade is? I'm sure we've covered this, but it's excited me.

Define it for us.

It's a water source that can't run out because the water comes from under as Opposed to over. That's all I've got. So you have to check that world born water source.

Yeah.

Anyway. And she's pitching it to us and she's like yeah, you go down there, you're going to see koala bears, kangaroos, like there ain't anything you're not going to see. We're like are there crocodiles? She's like no, there's not crocodiles for free. 300km.

No sharks or crocs.

No sharks or crocs. Key. You know.

Anyway, teaming with wildlife otherwise yeah.

That you. You're gonna love it.

Can't move for the stuff.

Correct. So we go down. We.

I was excited.

I was really excited. We get on a boat to get on another small boat and we again we've been promised the world. We. We canoe for five kilometers.

That's correct. Yeah. I believe we did it in world record time.

We did.

Fastest time ever to have done the trip.

We saw nothing. In fact we saw one kingfisher.

Yeah.

And the whole five kilometers. Yeah. It was just a speck of blue. It could have just been like a. If other people hadn't saw it. I just thought it might have been a little stroke or something.

Little porno cam on and I tried to slow the footage down to see it and it's still just like a speck of light going across the screen. It's just like mate, that could have been a moth.

I can go one better. I saw one at my house like two weeks ago and there's also a heron down there. So I saw more in my river the. In the back garden pretty much that's true. Than I did flying fucking 20 fucking 8 hours across the world.

I saw kingfisher in. In the canal of Bramley.

Yeah. Come on. I feel a bit ripped off there. We did see a big lizard. We're back on.

We're back on.

Sorry about that side. Technical issues. Just a bit of confusion on the, on the home front. We were talking about birds, the winged kind just to just so I don't upset anyone again. And yeah, we got shafted in a way. Yeah, we got ripped off. This is an alright day. We saw a monitor lizard.

Yeah that was cool.

But I think we have told the story. But it's a great story nonetheless. We all jumped into the Noosa Everglades. Even though there's a very high bull shark population. Exceptionally high. Like there's quite literally hundreds of bull sharks in there and they're more aggressive than any other shark.

And we went to the next and

we were just like, waaay. Have you seen Zoolander when they're just like spraying petrol all over each other, like, completely oblivious how dangerous what they're currently doing is. That was us.

But that explains me. Where was the next place we went? Melbourne.

Yeah.

And then someone had seen it and we're like, what the. What the are you doing?

I was fine.

Said it was okay.

Ignorance is literally bliss.

It really is.

Like, I would never ever go in there. I'd be scared shitless to go in there again. But at the time I was just like, wait, who?

You wasn't Big catfish.

Yeah.

Yeah. They looked friendly.

Yeah. They look like, if anything they'd suck you off.

Yeah.

But they did have blowy lips. They look like they've just been to the PMU expert or something. I don't know.

There's just a nine grams of filler in the.

Just going for a swimming.

Just going for a dip.

This is the third dip you've had today.

Oh, I'm dipping.

No, there's nothing.

Dipping the. Out of it. Yeah.

Oh, how we have to cut that out. It's funny. It's just a joke. It's just a joke.

It didn't happen. So.

It didn't happen. Didn't actually happen. If anything. If anything, it was like this. It went in because it was kind of cold.

Cannibals. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Rugby dick.

Yeah. Athletic dick. Nasty case of athletic. How come sprinters don't suffer from that? Or are they just so well endowed that.

Yeah.

Even if it shrinks.

Yeah.

That's still a mad case of pyon.

Yeah. Now we're on snakes. Didn't see any snakes, did we?

Not one. Susie heard about a snake, saw a

couple of packers, but no snakes.

Yeah, she saw. She saw a signpost.

She heard about a snake. She saw a picture. A sign for a snake.

Yeah. They wouldn't live there. One guy was here once. Yeah.

Where did the bird song conversation start? They're just great, aren't they?

Yeah, they are. But I wonder why have you got.

What?

Why have you got those specific birds on you? Painted on you? The painted men.

One, two. No, I don't. Three.

How many?

Like five, six.

What are you, five?

I mean, why.

Why do you. Did you pick those specific ones?

Swallows are just like a tattoo thing. Kookaburras are just very cool, aren't they?

Yeah, they sound like monkeys.

The heron. I just let the tattoo guy, like, did whatever he wanted to do. But there is Henry the heron, who, by the way, Is two. Two herons.

Like a split personality?

No, there's two of them.

Oh, cool.

Yeah. I always thought Henry was a singular bloke. I hope the other one's his girlfriend is. Misses his bird in the literal sense, though, because he's got wings. Yeah. Fuck off. Yeah, yeah. So it was two. I was like, oh, look, there's Henry.

Oh, look, there's Henrietta.

What? Yeah, he's so. Yeah. Kobe chases him now, though. Remember I said he used to. Not with him. He's going to squawks off he's one. He's lost the psychological warfare against the Wellama, but a lot of things would do, too. Kingfisher. No real reason other than they look cool.

Yeah, they do. Electric blue.

Oh, yeah. They're very bright, piercing, and they make a pinging sound, don't they? Yeah, Ping, ping.

I believe that's because they break the sound barrier.

Right, I've got a game for us to play. Not sure it's how it's going to work, but it's how we're going to wrap up the podcast. All right, so you think of a random word, like a noun. I think of a random noun. And then after three, we both say our noun.

Our role defines for me. What? Noun is a thing.

It has a name.

Connectual thing.

Yeah.

Give me an example.

Chair. Dog.

Okay. Call me Ian.

Whatever. Not a verb or an adjective.

I don't know where they are. Anyway, objective is like describing, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay.

So our job is to meet in the middle in as fewer guesses as we can, and eventually arrive on the same word. Okay, so let's say you say pigeon, I say postman. We've got to find something that is like. So we might then say, wow, that's a really bad example. Carry a pigeon. So, yeah, maybe there's letter in there or something. Jeremy. You see what I mean?

Yeah. It could take a while, though.

It could do. But we're gonna have a couple of rounds.

Field thinking.

So your first word, you're gonna have that in your head. All right, all right, all right. You got it?

Yeah.

Three, two, one, bottle. So I said bottle, you said shirt. All right, ready? Three, two, one, button. Okay. Okay. You said top. I said button.

Yeah.

Okay. Three, two, one, collar.

Okay. You said zip.

I said collar, obviously. Three, two, one, tie.

No. Okay.

Okay, you said trousers. I said tie. Ready? Three, two, one, bell.

No.

Belt, Badge. Got it. Belt, Badge. We've got it. Ready?

No, no.

Yeah, ready.

I'm trying to sense memory. Sense.

Ready? Three, two, one buckle. You said nothing.

I was thinking belt, but you'd already said belt. I fucked it.

Right. Let's start again. Because you were fucking.

All right, we're going, like, totally different words at the start.

Yeah. All right, ready? Three, two, one. Chez. What'd you say?

Plant. I said chez. Ready? Three, two, one. Greenhouse. Oh, no. Oh, I get. We're.

I said poppies is in the plant. You said greenhouse.

Yeah. Okay.

Okay, ready? Three, two, one. Tomatoes. And that has been caffeine and canines. Episode 71 Take a bite, Give it

a girl by you.