EP 99: The Opening Of South Coast Canine Academy

Let's, let's get to the point. You shit yourself on your wedding day?

Yeah, straight in.

It's gone red.

It's gone red.

Fucking idiot.

She's matching her face. Yeah.

Yes, right, go on then.

I'm not, I'm not embarrassed.

Just before though, you were very judgmental of poor Adam.

Yeah, very aggressive.

As far as I know, he didn't shit himself on his wedding day.

Well, presuming I'm gonna tell the story, Adam's came out whole and mine didn't, so like he could have held his and I couldn't have. And I actually didn't know mine was coming. It came— it was a surprise to me as much as anyone else.

All right, go on.

All right, so it's the morning of my wedding. We're sat in the Airbnb getting ready. I'm in just vest and pants, granny pants, granny pants, comfy pants, color Bridget Jones type of shit, real Bridget Jones, everything white. Sat on an antique chair chatting away to my friend. Thank God I wasn't in the expensive—

what are you doing?

Um, one of the bridesmaids was getting their makeup done. I was just chatting because I didn't want to get my makeup done.

Champagne or something?

No, I didn't have any alcohol, which I know you'll find shocking.

Immensely shocking.

I just—

you've drunk every day this week, right?

Yeah, yeah, just one night.

Factual. Yeah, she has had a drink every day this week. I don't know if we snapped a picture of all, but most of them.

We could just repeat one because it was the same.

Yeah, yeah, just a little lager with dinner.

A little one, just a little standard size one. To me, I don't think it's—

and if you have a wine with your dinner every night, you're classed as an alcoholic.

I don't know if I know. I have beer, so what's that?

Well, you— we know you're an alcoholic.

I can get things done. So yeah, you do.

Go on then, carry on with your story.

So I'm chatting away to my friend Jen, she's going, going, going, and I do a fart and the fart feels hot.

Ooh, hot!

A warm bath.

Like, too hot. Yeah.

And I was like, what time of year did you get married?

September.

Okay, so was it like a big contrast between the environmental situation?

Well, no, it wasn't like today.

It was like 1920, probably, but like it had rained in the morning.

I didn't think you were that old.

And then I was like, That feels suspicious. Jen's still chatting away, and I sort of like, look, and I was like, I've shit myself.

When you say looked, I sort of—

it was this.

Okay, which bit did you see? The underwear or the chair?

It's pretty fairly fucking obvious.

Okay.

Oh, just— I saw the underwear. Did it go through the pants?

Yeah, it was on the chair.

Do you still have those pants?

No, they went straight in the bin.

Did they?

Yeah. So Jen's chat, chat, chatting, and I was like—

I was gonna say we could have sold them.

Gonna have to stop you there. I think I've just shit myself. And she was like, Jen takes everything on the chin. She was like, do you want me to check for you? And I was like, no, I'm fairly certain.

No, I don't think that's necessary.

She's like, go and get me a towel. And then—

Holy fuck.

So there's my other bridesmaid in the room who also wouldn't have cared, but the girl who did our makeup, I know her, but we're not close, so it was kind of embarrassing.

Kind of.

Any minute now, the hairdresser is about to turn up, who I really don't know that well, and I really didn't want Molly to know I'd shit myself. So I had to scuttle off to the bathroom.

But now she will know because she's an avid listener to this podcast, probably.

So the second bit of the story is when I got up off the chair, there was almost like a Nike tick, poppy ping.

Great news, guys. We've got the picture of the chair. Who took that photo? Me.

You were like, I need to document this.

My other bridesmaids that weren't there yet text me and were like, how's the morning going, you excited? And I just text back, I've just shit myself. Yeah. And sent a photo.

That's wild.

And then I had to evacuate the chair from the lounge because I didn't want anyone else to sit in it, but I didn't have time to clean it at that point.

You evacuated your bowels?

Yeah, something evacuated. And that's the difference really between me and Adam. Adam's came out whole. He could have held it.

You didn't have a choice.

And that is where I judge.

Until you tell your second poo story.

Oh. Yeah, but I didn't shit myself. It's just a funny poo story.

That's a good story though.

It is a good story.

Oh my God. Team Burrows, just ask our audience a question right now. Do you want us to move on? Or do you want to hear the second poo story? What do you think they'd say?

I think they'd say go for it.

I think so too.

They've had so many now.

No, and our audience, if you're still listening by now after all the poo stories, you're in it for the poo stories.

Poo stories are some of the funniest stories though.

Yes.

It's a shame we can't tell the best of all time, isn't it?

Can't we tell it about someone else in a completely different scenario?

No, because if that person knows, if that person's listening, yeah, they'll know.

Do you think they're a listener?

Apparently they are.

Oh, that's a real shame.

Right, well, if apparently they are, then this is— that's fucking, isn't it?

Yeah, we just have to—

then they still know that there are many poo stories from that person, so that would have immediately been a red flag in my mind. Yeah, because I would have been like, hold on a minute.

Especially—

what do you mean? I've heard stories from your mouth about you.

Yeah, that's true. And locality-wise as well.

Yeah, yeah, she knows.

Could be.

Yeah. All right, I'm gonna ask him. He's gonna be like, mate, come on, we need to know. Yeah, we need to tell it.

Text him now. He'll be— will he be in Bobo?

7 ahead? No, it'll be like 9 o'clock.

Yeah.

Mate, um, yeah, there's no easy way to say or ask this, but I'm just wondering if there's any chance—

we also just said E7—

if there's anything I can do to convince you to allow us to be able to record this on the podcast, which I'm on right now. Would you Is it? Please, like, I'll beg. I don't— I'll give you, I'll give you our half of PCA. No, it's a good story.

It is a good story.

All right, let's see what he gets back to us with.

It's still going to be a no.

He's in about 40 boot camps, he'd probably be asleep. Go on then, whilst we're waiting, we'll tell our second out of a potential 3 true stories of the podcast.

All right, I'll make it quick. Okay, so I am 14. Yeah, and I know you, you were like 16.

Yeah, you corrected yourself to 16.

You're lowering the age to try and fucking save some reputation.

All right, so I'm 16. Would I have been 16? I guess I would have been. Yeah. Yes, I have only just recently met my dad. In this story, and he invited me to go and stay with him in Portugal. And because I didn't really know him, I took a friend.

I feel like that's like a fucking race car driver or something that's just like fucked off to Portugal.

Anyway, silver caravan.

Then he might have some money, and then I would get some money for all of the years that I didn't know him.

No, I didn't say he's a good one, a huge race car driver.

He's definitely not.

Okay, he's got massive, like, um, He did at one point, actually.

Nice. Like a stunt driver, which is not great at it.

Yeah, yeah, like he's injuring himself and getting pissed on the job and that.

He invents things, I think.

That's quite cool. Like what? White chocolate cheesecake?

No, he invented some like foldable bike.

Which is a sex position, the folded bike. The folded bike. The folded bicycle. Yeah, I know that one.

Don't know if it went anywhere. I don't talk to him anymore, but—

I've seen folded bikes.

Yeah, but not, not his one, not his pattern. No, it was like something to do with the wheel, like the wheel was also the wheel as in the OG wheel, or the wheel he invented on that bike maybe was also foldable, right?

I don't know, see how that would work. I see why it didn't take off.

Okay, who knows.

Yeah, fine.

Anyway, I say yes. Not that I know of.

Okay.

As you were.

But again, don't really know him very well, so maybe.

How did you rekindle?

Looked him up in the Yellow Pages.

Did you? And you rang him?

Mm-hmm.

You said, "Hi, I think you're my dad." Well, I actually got through to his mum.

"I think you're my nan." "I think your son is my dad." And she was very surprised.

Did he know about you, that you existed?

Yes. Just— Actually, funny story, I have a sister who is his daughter, and we are only 3 months apart in age.

Different mums.

Different mums.

Yeah, good work. Yeah, crazy that.

Anyway, I went to Portugal and not as confident about poos when you're that age, are you? Like, you don't know, you're all more conscious.

You're not shitting yourself when you're wedding.

Like, you know, if I took a poo here and it smelled bad, I would just be like, wouldn't go in there for 5 minutes, guys. But it would be really embarrassing when you're 16.

Yeah.

So I took a massive poo and it wouldn't flush.

And it was so big, the toilet was fucking—

I have very healthy poos, I always have. It was big.

Yeah, Khan vouched for that the other day.

He was in a caravan in Portugal and I was in this tiny caravan toilet.

Was it a silver one?

No, a white one.

He's—

yeah, he's a race car driver.

It could be, yeah.

I don't think he is.

Okay, well, all right, a secret one.

And we'll look him up and find out.

Recreational, maybe.

Let's not look him up again.

It wasn't worth it the first time. So then, is it Orkies? Was it?

Yeah. More interested in your dad walking out on you and then you rekindling, and then just curious. Did he look like you?

He does look like me, yeah.

Hmm, like firm cotton.

I didn't like Fanny Cotton. I just wanted to be her when I was a teenager.

Anyway, I go on.

Anyway, I take a massive poo, it won't flush. I panic and think, what am I going to do with this? Because my new dad and his wife who hates me and my friend are out there. How embarrassing. So I decide the best thing to do is to fish the poo out, wrap it in toilet paper, put it in the bin in the bathroom, forget about it.

That's crazy.

In hindsight, not a very well thought through plan, because then where's the poo going after that? Yeah. So then the next day, it's a very hot—

and my dad's wife goes, 'Oh, it stinks in here.' And I'm thinking, 'That's my shit.' Even at 16, I would have thought at some point you would have thought that might happen though, the lingering—

I just panic.

I have none whatsoever. I had a lot of things going on. Anyway, I know that it's my poo, so I go and take a shower, sneak into the bathroom, get the poo out. And he lived on like just this massive piece of land, so I was like, I'll just go and dispose of it outside somewhere. So I walk out of the bathroom with a poo in my hand and a towel over my arm, like a waiter, with like a— yeah, exactly, like not suspicious asshole. And then I go to like—

imagine—

walk outside the caravan, and then my friend goes, oh, where are you going? And I was like, oh, I'm just I just wanted to take a look around. She's like, I'll come with you. And I was like, no, no, I just need a minute to be on my own.

This weird hand towel.

What if your friend was like proper sweating and it was like, oh, can I just borrow this?

Yeah, no foresight, didn't think anything.

You're just holding this log. Was it still intact at this point?

Still? Yeah, solid.

Yeah, a bit of damage from fishing it out.

A lot of fiber. I didn't unwrap it to find out, but it held well. It didn't seep through.

So fair enough.

Soup.

Fucking soup.

So anyway, I exit the caravan. I'm about to take the towel off my arm to launch the poo into the woods, and I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around, it's my dad, who decides that this is a very good time to have a heart-to-heart and is like, "I'm just so happy that we've met, and it's so nice for you to be here." And I'm just thinking, "Don't hug me, 'cause I've got a handful of my own shit." Oh my God. And I think if he goes in the hut, goes in for the hug, like, where does that go? And then the field behind him had like a goat farmer that lived there or something, and at the perfect moment the goats walked by and I went, I didn't know you had goats behind you. He turns around, I throw the shit, out of nowhere comes his border collie Shadow, runs after the shit, and I just scurried him in the house. I can only presume the dog ate it.

Oh, and the story where your dad walked out on you, or the second time.

Dogs really do like to eat shit though, don't they, sometimes?

Yeah, Bumble does all the time. His breath stinks of shit.

Yeah, that could be actually a perfect caveat for the next potential story.

That's what I mean.

He's replied.

There is a few. I've, I've heard of a few. Heard of a few. Of what?

Pooh stories.

Mm-hmm.

Did you ever see your dad again after that trip?

Once or twice.

Then goners again?

Yeah, I binned him off when I was like 18, which is annoying.

Why?

Because he was just inconvenient. He would just show up whenever he felt like it and then not reply other times, and I was like, I haven't got time for that.

I think we had something else to discuss.

I feel like we did.

You can talk about the cellar.

Oh, that was in your house as well.

There was a good funny, wasn't there? Yeah. What were you laughing about?

There was something.

I knew we should have written these down. There was actually loads. I think there was enough content probably for 2 podcasts, to be fair. We've had a lot of funnies this week.

Oh, there was funnies. There was obviously you shitting yourself, which is—

there was Chloe doing surgery on snails.

Yeah, that's fucked up.

Yeah, that's psychotic.

Yeah, that is like major red flag behavior.

Yeah, that was really funny though.

I don't even—

can you even—

when does it become like cruelty to animals? Can you even say that?

Yeah, yeah, you don't really know when you're a kid, do you?

No, she used to operate on snails as a child thinking they were poorly and stab them. Poor little shits. Got to poorly.

Fair enough.

Yeah, it's just good that it didn't transition like further.

Yeah, we hope.

As far as we know.

There he comes.

There he is, he's walking over the old—

the little old Nigel floor like a champ.

Yeah, he's quite straight across the floor, no problem.

Straight into the dog room, can't wait to get in there.

Do you have any dog training topics to discuss?

How's your boot camp gone?

Oh, that's the first one. First one.

Well, yeah, first one here, obviously.

Everyone smashed it this week.

They did, didn't they?

Great bunch of people, great bunch of dogs.

Yes.

Started out with a variety of different problems.

Yes.

All just been sat in the pub having a lovely lunch together.

That was good, wasn't it?

Yeah, really good. Lovely first week. The witch worked.

The witch did work.

Can confirm.

Yeah, we, uh, why?

What do you mean?

Well, it was the 15th. I suppose it's still the 15th.

Oh, your witch.

Your witch, yeah.

Is it the 15th? No, it's not the 15th, but it's the—

The 19th.

Yeah, but it's way past the 15th. Yeah, I lose days.

Wait, when did you get the text about— you gave the nudge nudge and then you got a reply from that?

It was like yesterday.

What was that?

But today's like the day.

Is this like grand final day?

Yeah.

Ultimatum day. And nothing. So we find out today if the witch pulled through. That's exciting.

I hope we find out at 4 o'clock as we say goodbye to everyone.

I reckon it'll be 11:59:59. Just to be an awkward shit. I really do.

23:59 and 59 seconds, maybe.

What do you reckon to your new trainers, Ellen? Do you like it?

It's pretty nice, innit?

Yeah, it's good.

I think it's turned out quite well. Really nice, nice little—

Sam started with you this week as well.

Sam started this week. He's great, isn't he?

He's had to nip back up north, but he's great. Yeah, we'll get Sam on at some point.

Batman and Robin.

I feel like our Sam's— this story might have something to do with Sam.

There's the horses, but I don't know whether we're gonna get riled up again. No, I've already calmed down.

Yeah, don't get her going again.

I sent a very nice email response, Helen responded, I responded nicely to her.

Like a little to and fro sort of thing?

Little to and fro. I've decided—

Is it a defuse situation?

I've decided not to defuse with the other one and just never speak to her again.

Fair enough.

And if you see her in the wild, you'll attack her?

No, because I'm professional.

You weren't professional for a few hours yesterday.

No, you actually said, "I'm gonna go punch her in the c*ck." Which doesn't sound professional unless you're a professional MMA fighter that breaks the rules.

Behind the scenes, not professional, to her face, did I go punch her in the face?

No, no, to be fair. And then we've had a bit of a vent. We use each other to vent sometimes, don't we?

You know, it's like we say about dogs, to bring it back to dogs, it's not a crime to think about doing it.

That's true. Yeah, you wouldn't, you wouldn't issue some punishment about thinking about it.

So yeah, you're good.

Yeah, bring it back to now, right back, right back to dog training. Yeah. That's all you get for today, folks.

Yeah, it's a good one.

Yeah, there you go.

There's dudes out there fucking whacking dogs for looking at dogs.

Pretty—

yeah, pretty wild. Don't do that.

That's a way to—

that's the way to make things worse.

Yeah, it's a way to create probably a bigger problem and make a really flat shit, unhappy dog.

Yeah, there's a couple of really big dog trainers that like think they're really good dog trainers, and that's all they do.

No, like Yeah, figuratively big.

I think in their own imagination, big, to be honest. All right, I don't want to talk about that. They're not even worth my time.

Yeah, they're all tramps. They're all tramps.

Do you know who is going to come on the podcast? Hazel's owners.

You're adding Rs into words again. We spoke about this.

Podcast.

Podcast.

Podcast. That's how you say it. Ellen, how would you say podcast? Podcast.

Yeah, she doesn't do it.

Yeah, all right, fine. Big Ren.

I made friends with Big Ren.

What's his name?

He's the least— he's the least whingy Doberman I've met, I think.

He's a good boy.

Yeah, he's been quiet.

Yeah, yeah.

And then we went on there on Monday, though, was he? No, Jesus, no. And then we went on a walk to a wood yesterday, and him in the bag, we're running around and fucking about together, and It was good.

Yeah, he was out there chasing squirrels today, loving life.

Yeah, nice.

I almost crashed on the way here avoiding a squirrel.

A squirrel?

It ran right out into the road.

And then they like look like it's your fault. Well, it probably is our fault, but then they just run around in the road rather than going, I just keep going away. Yeah, one of those two options would do, mate.

Missed him anyway.

That's good. That would have put real fear in my heart.

Same happened to me on the way to wherever the fuck it was we went earlier. I just don't know where we're anywhere near, so—

Got it! I remembered the thing.

Oh, brilliant.

Arctic roll.

Oh, that is a Sam thing.

Yeah, that is a Sam thing, really.

It is kind of a Sam thing.

He conceptualised it, didn't he?

Tell the story.

So we went to a lovely pub. Fuzzy with that.

Yeah.

And then after dinner, we're all thinking, yeah, we'll have a little sweet treat. And we get the menu for sweet treats and we see on the menu an Arctic roll on there for a pretty expensive pub. Like we're talking like £24 for a main dish. Yeah, has an Arctic roll dessert on there for 70p, which catches everyone's attention.

Retro dessert, retro prices as well.

Yes.

And even if it was like a pathetic slice, you'd still be okay with it because it's a wicked curiosity.

Yes, 70p, you can't lose.

No, no. So, but you can. Yeah, we did, we did.

So they're deliberating. Yeah.

And we're like, this one's like, right, Arctic rolls all round.

Yeah, brilliant.

Can't go wrong. 7 Arctic rolls for 70p.

Even if someone doesn't want one, for the whole table.

For the whole table. So then we order and to our disappointment, we get told we haven't got any left. So then everyone's got a backup plan in their head. We all go for the £8 dessert.

Because at that point you're in the mood for dessert.

You're in the mood for dessert.

Because you've committed.

Yeah.

You're like, right, I'm doing dessert. Let's go to the Arctic Roll.

Yeah, the one that's triple the price. Triple? We've got 7 quid. Yeah, yeah, 10 times the price. Fucking clever. So then the next night we go to the same pub, but you don't come. So we're like, we've got to get the Arctic Roll, and we'll text J-Rod a picture. So the whole table, we say we'll have 6 Arctic Rolls, to which she replies "Sorry, we don't have any Arctic roll today." "What'd you do?" And we were all like, "Huh. Well, fine then. We'll have 6 of these." And then we were all postulating at the table as to why they never have this Arctic roll. Do they ever have it at all? And then Sam came up with the excellent theory, which I think is probably right, that they've never had Arctic Roll. They never intend to serve it, but it makes you commit to a dessert, and then you're already in the mood to get something, and you're upsold on the spot. So then you end up— they work instead of spending £7 on desserts, you end up spending about £48. Yeah, got us— oh, here we are now.

Look, got us a treat. Textbook.

John hates it to be on the podcast as well. She can come sit with us. Do you guys want to come and be on the podcast?

Yeah, yeah, I'm dribbling.

Squidge up then.

You ever listened to this podcast before?

Don't listen to this one, just— you can listen to your bit, just skip out the first bit.

Not for long.

No, it's too shit.

I've heard it, I've heard it one time.

Yeah, I didn't listen.

Here she is, woman of the hour.

Very stable now though.

Yeah, she's a good girl.

Start wapping around on her earlier.

Two cafes and a pub.

Two cafes and a pub?

Yeah, sounds like a sitcom.

Have you got any good stories about you shitting yourself? Because Kelly's just told two and they've been absolute corkers. Two? I kind of feel like the answer's yes.

Yeah, you know what, you know when you fill out the form to come and apply to work here, we should add that. Have you ever shit yourself? If it's a no, then you can't come in.

Yeah. I'll be here.

That's amazing.

But we'll only do it for South Coast. Yeah, yeah, everyone else can just have normal people.

I don't know, I feel like Perth needs it as well. Yeah, you gotta tolerate being around Adam, you've got to be pretty okay with shitting yourself.

Yeah, right.

Firstly, mate, have you got any stories about a time you shit yourself? Because Kelly's just told two and they're absolute corkers.

Um, Definitely, definitely had one. Definitely had one. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, absolutely steaming at the rugby club, been there all day long, and then, um, yeah.

Is this going on a podcast?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We were going to talk about Hazel, but yeah, forget about it.

All day long, yeah.

And then we literally— I think that was the day that we won, we beat the team that was second, so we knew we were like pretty much going to go up from there. So everyone just got on it, ended up staying at the club for hours, going on to other things. Kaylee come pick me up and I was like, oh, rough at this point, probably about 15 pints deep or something, eh?

15 pints?

Easily.

That's just me, doesn't it?

Could you compete with with that, Kel?

Could you sink back 15?

On a good day.

Yeah, and then literally it was just like game over, eh? Like, try to make it to the toilet?

Nah.

Both ends.

Fuck.

Yeah, both ends.

Yeah, both ends, yeah.

At what point?

Were you in the toilet?

No, no, we was at home. I was like, you know when you're like getting closer and closer to the bathroom and you're like, yeah, it's literally just as you're about to open the door, it's like just—

Like the body knows it's close enough.

Yeah, well, you'll listen back to this podcast and you'll hear a great one of Kelly shitting herself on her wedding day, so on an antique chair. Yeah, a 100-year-old antique chair. We'll ping up—

been through the war.

Yeah, it's been through a war.

It has been.

It did not survive Kelly's asshole. Go on then, let's talk about Hazel.

Look at this, there he is, look.

Over to you.

She's lovely.

Tell us a bit about Hazel. Tell us a bit about what she was like.

Pre, yeah, pre, I suppose.

She's a rescue, isn't she?

Yeah, she's a rescue, yeah. So yeah, we picked her up probably about a year and a half, 2 years ago, and she'd spent a lot of time in the rescue, so it was quite difficult for her. And there was a lot of, when we took her back there, there was a lot of dogs barking, going nuts and stuff. So she was really reactive to like barking and just the sight of other dogs, eh?

Yeah.

But yeah, so, When we'd been walking her after that period, it was almost a point of like managing the walk, wasn't it? Like, oh, you know, there's a dog there, let's cross the road, let's, you know.

Or even turn around.

Just avoid it. Get away. Yeah, just avoiding it the whole time. And I think that maybe spiraled things maybe potentially worse. But obviously when you've got a Rottweiler coming up to like a little Spaniel that wants to go and meet her and she's like, I don't want to see this 'cause I'm not sure.

Yeah.

You know, you kind of like, what do you do here? Try to make the best options possible, but in that moment it's just made her worse and worse, I think. So, you know.

But she's got even her little niche things, so she's reacting to the TV if she sees a dog on there. She was always guarding the boot. She does the same in the garden. Like, she has her little things that we just didn't know how to manage then.

It got to the point where it was kind of like, you just sort of like, you get home from work and you've just done a full day's work and then you're like, 'Oh, now I've gotta go and walk the dog.' And you think, 'Oh, I just don't wanna do this.' And you never get a dog for that, you know what I mean? They're kind of your companion, you love them to bits. We always loved her to bits, we could see her good side 'cause she would love us, she was such a loving dog. But then when you take her out of that environment and put her into an environment where she's just not comfortable and stuff, it was just almost heartbreaking to watch, really, weren't it? It was kind of just stressful for you, stressful for her. No one's winning in that situation. You're just like, 'Oh, what do you do? What do you do?' And I suppose, yeah, we just got to the point where we were like, we need to do something. But we've done other things leading up to that, plenty of things over the year, over the couple of years that we've had her, but nothing had really worked properly to sort of make it stick, stop the reactivity.

Yeah.

You know, we'd had other trainers in, hadn't we? And we were like, cor, their training methods were sort of almost backwards to what we were thinking, so we gave that a go and she almost got like worse. And then you're like, okay, now we need to backtrack that whatever they've told us.

How many trainers did you try?

I think 2 or 3, yeah.

And then a lot of YouTube videos. Yeah, just watching loads of different types of trainers and then trying it and failing, or trying it for like a few weeks and thinking, okay, really, something's working a little bit, but it's kind of like it works a little bit and helps you manage it But then you're just still managing the situation.

It's not like you can just go for like a nice walk with your dog and feel comfortable and stuff, you know?

Yeah, gotcha. Where did you find us?

YouTube. Okay, you found us on YouTube. Yeah, I found you on YouTube and then from there, I mean, so Harrison's always been able to manage Hazel a bit better than me, 'cause obviously he's quite a bit stronger than me. So out on a walk it wouldn't affect you as much, whereas I was being dragged down the road and stuff. So for me, I was like, got to a point where I was like, I need help now. I can't do this by myself. I really need to get some help. So I just ended up filling in a form without him knowing. And I was like, I don't know, like, because you guys were in Yorkshire at the time, like, obviously I didn't know about this one here. So I was like, is it even something that we could consider going up to Yorkshire, staying there?

All I got one morning was, oh, here's a coffee. 'Oh, by the way, would you mind tomorrow we've got an interview thing with these people at 10 AM? Are you all right to just jump on for a minute?' I was like, 'Yeah, sure, like, what's it about?' You know, like, and you weren't sold as well.

Like, I don't think you were sold. He needed a bit more convincing, whereas I was like, 'I've seen the videos, I've seen—' So how did you convince—

yeah, what convinced you? Yeah, what got you over the line?

I guess I think I like— obviously I was— I think it's just skeptical because I'd seen other trainers with what they'd done, and I was just like she's so far gone where I was like, I don't know what we can necessarily do that is gonna magically make her all of a sudden better, you know? And now I'm eating my words. But yeah, yeah, it was— I think the thing that sold me was just seeing Kaylee struggle so much with her and her reactivity being that bad that it was like, no, we need to do something about this now, you know? It's not manageable anymore. Like, I can manage it, but that's not fair. Like, she can't manage it. She's a big dog. You know, we need to do something about this. So, and when we had the interview with— The consultation. The consultation interview, it was kind of like, okay, like, that's interesting. You know, that sounds pretty cool. And then with it obviously being quite close to us as well, we were like, oh, let's just jump for it. Let's give it a go and just, you know. See what happens, I suppose.

I think we kind of thought maybe slightly it's too good to be true though. Yeah, okay. Like, oh, there's one opening up not far from us, and then like, it will be work— it will work in 5 days.

We're like, oh, how can it?

Yeah, how is that going to happen?

Did you hire a witch?

We hired a witch this week to put a spell on the place. Good luck, witch. You paid a witch on Etsy?

She was a witch. I paid a witch on my wedding day.

Oh my God. And it worked.

We were like, right, we'll give it another go. Yeah, bless. And she blessed it. We got the confirmation last podcast, we read it out. You'll have to go back and listen to it.

I could use that witch, you know, lottery numbers would be great to be fair.

We should get a discount code for that witch.

We've given her a lot of money. So you kind of touched on it, but a bit of a weird question. What made you almost like not sign up? What was in the back of your mind? Were you like, actually, I don't know. 'Cause whatever you are thinking is probably what a lot of other people are thinking too. Yeah.

Skepticalness that it's gonna work, but also like the money side of things, you know, you kind of think you gotta invest a fair bit of money into this to sort of, am I gonna get that out? And it's one of those things that you kind of, you never know whether it's gonna fully work. So you're putting your money into something that you, once it's gone, it's gone sort of. And with other trainers, you've given money to them they've run off and they've given you some shit training and you're like, oh, you know, that's not helped, you know? So you're kind of like, is this gonna be a waste of money? And yet, is it actually gonna work? But, you know, going to it, and I don't want to jump in too early, but it's probably the best spent money I've ever spent in my life.

Yeah. Nice. You know? And I would've spent that money— Over and over again. Over and over again over spending all the money that we did on other trainers and it not working.

I think knowing now like where she's at from 5 days, it's like that money is irrelevant. Like just, you just give it straight away, you know, like, because like, as I say, I was very skeptical when, for me, you can't, I feel like I can't believe things until I see it, you know, like if someone telling me, oh yeah, we can do this, we can do that. I'm like, yeah, you're selling me a dream. But when you can see it with your own eyes and you see it happen, it's like, wow, you know, it's not a dream.

Yeah, pretty crazy. So let's touch on this week. What, what have you, what have you managed to do with her? What have you been up to with her?

And well, I mean, even being able to go out to a pub or outside a cafe would just been a no, like, before. Like, we would never have been able to do that.

I've never done it with her, ever tried it.

Um, yeah, yeah, we have tried it. And like, every time a dog would walk past or whatever, it would be like on guard straight away. And if not, reactivity, if If she heard like a dog barking, she'd be straight away on it, like bam, bam, bam. You know, I have to be the loudest dog here and scare everyone away, sort of thing.

Do a good job of that.

Yeah, literally. And we avoid it.

We just say, well, there's just no point in doing that. So like we'd go out with like friends or family and they'd say, well, we're bringing our dogs. And we think, we've gotta leave our dog at home. Yeah. In an environment where she could be out having fun with us. We've gotta leave her cooped up.

I think the funny thing with the course though is like you guys say the first couple of days is very slow and then it sort of speeds up from there. Yeah. And on the first couple of days you are thinking a little bit like, "Oh, well how are we gonna get from like this all of a sudden, like to that in the end?" You know, the end goal sort of thing. How are we gonna get from the first couple of days where it is very slow to the end bit and her being, you know, like as she is now or, you know, as she just was in the pub with other dogs moving around and she was good as gold.

My dog got on her place bed with her at all points.

Yeah, actually he was trying.

I remember that, where was it we went yesterday, that with the horses? Betchbury. Yeah, when we let her off there, and I've not seen, I don't think I've seen a happier dog.

Oh, no, she was almost rounding us up, wasn't she? She was having such a great time.

And today she was like running along with Rue.

Yeah, yeah, no, it's so nice.

And it's just so, yeah, it's so nice, isn't it?

See her happy, because I feel like before, like, it would just be stress, like that's all you could see in her face and her eyes, like, it was just stress. And now she's actually like happy, which is so lovely. It's all I want for her, it's all we want for her, is to just be a happy dog.

Yeah, 100%. And have freedom. You rescue a dog and you're kind of like, oh, you know, we're gonna give her a much better life now. And it's like, yes, we did give her a better life, but at the same time, you know, you still, it still was a bit of a half-life really, because you know, when every time you go out, you're managing her, or it's a scenario of, oh, we're meeting up with friends over there, but we can't actually bring the dog because she's gonna go psycho, like, at other dogs. So it's just like, it's not worth bringing her along. You know, like, as much as you'd want to, it would be like, we can't really. So we're gonna have to leave her at home. And then you feel that guilt of being like, oh, now she's gotta stay at home. And you're sort of thinking of the whole time that you're there, you're kind of like, oh, we need to get back for the dog and, you know, like, make sure that she's okay and stuff. But yeah, it's just, it is crazy. It's life-changing, isn't it? You know, because you can see the future.

What's the first place you're going to go with her or do with her?

Should we do Danson? Yeah, I reckon so, yeah. Danson is like really close to us. It's like a big park similar to what we've been to, but not woodlands really. It's more sort of open, open space with a lake, and there's a cafe there. There's dogs everywhere, a lot of them off lead. It would be the one place that we would go. There's no chance.

I don't think she's ever been there. I don't think we've ever taken her because we were always just—

When are you going to take her there? I think we're gonna do it tomorrow. Yeah, all right. Yeah, yeah, all right. So this podcast will be out like a week or two from now, so if you can get some videos and pictures over to Kelly, we'll pop them up on the screen. Yeah, 100%, jump in the deep end. Yeah, keep the momentum up from the weekend.

Make sure you like, obviously keep her confidence high and keep our confidence high as well. Like, yeah, I think sometimes you can sort of get yourself in a bit of a rut and then think, oh, we can't take it here, we can't take it there, and then it just gets worse and worse. Whereas now it's like we can take her everywhere.

Yeah, I feel so much more confident with her now.

Yeah, 100%. We know what to do if anything does happen, and things probably can still happen, but if they do, we know what to do now to correct those things, or, you know, just be wary of other people's, you know, dogs as well.

And reward good behaviour as well. 100%. But she knows her yes markers so well, so it's really good.

Impressive stuff. 100%. It's a pretty good one, right? Yeah. Bless her.

How old is she? 4-ish, we think. Yeah, like when we got her they thought she was 2.

We don't know how old she is, eh? Like spot on, but we always try and say her birthday is on the day that we got her, so. Yeah, fair enough.

Gotcha day. Yeah. Sweet.

All right. She's a really good girl. Any other questions? I think you covered it.

That's good. Yeah, it was really good.

Thanks for joining us. Thanks guys. I appreciate you having me. Thank you, please do. You were shitting yourself. Yeah, no worries.

Thank you so much though for everything you guys do, because if it weren't for you guys doing all the training that you guys do, we wouldn't be in this situation either.

So, you know, thank you for you guys to putting in. All good. Very rewarding for everyone involved, right?

Yeah. 100%. She's cute, isn't she?

Yeah. Good to see you.

Good to hear you. Thank you.

Thanks, guys. No worries. You guys would like for Jade to wrap up? No. I don't think so.

No. Off she goes.

You happy with your first boot camp?

Bring it back up to a peak. Peak finish.

That was a peak finish. That was a peak finish. Sorry, man. All right, yeah, it's not a drop off on a poo story. No.

Yeah, do you get a reply or no?

Drop it off on a lovely— yeah, that rock is the ultimate peak. He's avoiding the situation altogether.

No, zero reply.

Yeah, he's avoiding it. Yeah, it's a real shame. It's a good story.

Fucking is. But oh well, that was a good story though.

Yeah, that was really nice. I love those guys. Yeah, they're really happy for them.

That was good.

All right then, yeah, say bye, Ian. Bye, Ian. Bye, Ian.