EP 96: The Opening of Perth Canine Academy

All right, we're going to tell the story of us going to Australia.

Are you going to say we're going to tell the story about him? We could do. Yeah, probably. We probably should do.

Maybe you explicitly said do not.

Just switch the names up, bro.

Yes. All right, we will. Which camera are you looking at?

You know, we set off with good intentions. I'm not really looking at him, I'm looking at you and looking in your eyes. Okay, we set off with the great intentions of vlogging the whole thing. And yeah, we did about 3 days worth of vlog, maybe if that. I think I took one of you in the queue at the car hire thing because we were getting pissed off because it was a queue of one. We were tired, we were over queuing at that point.

Let's give Australia's customer service a shout out. Absolutely fucking atrocious in every way, shape, or form. Mate, yeah, genuinely, one of the cafes which we went back to several times, they were aggressive. I thought it was one of those like novelty fucking Karen cafes where you pay to like spit in your coffee or something.

Yeah, yeah, it was genuine aggression. Yeah, you know when people with the dogs are like, oh, it's not aggression, it's just reactive? I mean, you do a front foot proactively aggressive to us.

It was incredible.

What? Yeah, what do you want?

Well, literally some food.

Could we, can we all just maybe— fine, come on.

What are you, what are you having?

And then there was a lot of shenanigans ordering food as well. I know some of that was me, but at the end it wasn't me because—

so Richie wrote down in my list of Australia things to talk about, Kirky's inability to order eggs.

No, well, oh, it is, it wasn't all me though.

No, he's being stubborn. It is because it wasn't— it was multiple people.

Yeah, fair enough. But it— but in the end, even with an incredibly clear statement—

well, I never fucked it up.

You were there and you even said yourself, yeah, that wasn't all you. How did you do it? Didn't you?

Well, let's give the viewers at home a little bit of confidence.

All right, so like, I for breakfast like to eat 5 to 6 eggs. That's it.

That's it. 5 to 6 scrambled eggs with nothing else. Nothing else, just to be clear. And then if you go, in fact, make your fucking order now and then see what people presume. Now you've given it away a little bit, but we'll maybe—

going up to the counter, could I have 5 scrambled eggs?

There you are, there you are. That's it. So every time, what would they presume? 5 portions of scrambled eggs, which is on the menu as a thing, scrambled eggs.

But if I wanted 5 portions of scrambled eggs, I'd say 5 portions.

No, or you'd presume, you know, can I have a— can I get scrambled eggs, please? Can I get a scrambled egg? Well, no one would say that.

No, but then one time in one place, she was gonna give me 5 separate eggs. Who has one fucking egg?

Yeah, to be fair, in one place it was like, how would you like each of those eggs cooked? Yeah, one fried, one scrambled, one boiled, one raw.

That definitely wasn't a me thing. No, yeah, I got, I got an idea of what, what that, where that was.

Yeah, we just can't say, but yeah, um, but yeah, fair enough. Most people do. So yeah, 5 scrambled eggs, and then we would order, we'd end up having 5 portions of scrambled eggs, and then he would get all red and panicky like a kid looking for his fucking mum at the supermarket, just lost. I'd go up, right, this is what he wants, He would like 5 eggs scrambled, but they still couldn't get their head around that. No, they couldn't, to be fair.

But you did have to fix it a few times, and I'm real grateful that you did. Otherwise, who knows what I would have eaten?

Oh God, a lot of bread, several of eggs, plates with one egg on, more bread than eggs. Just a lot more plate than anything else.

Yeah, fair enough.

They wouldn't have known where to put it. They would have run out of Table space.

Are we allowed to say the first funniest thing about the importation of—

probably not.

No.

Oh, could we look into— uh, nah, no, I don't think so.

That's a shame for you all.

It is a shame if you all— we can't tell that story. Yeah, if you ever like come over, come see us in person, ask us about the sticking prawn collars up our asses story.

It's funny, it's good, it's a good one. Yep. So that was the first funny thing. No, the first funny thing was the, the air, the airplane. Yeah, and you were a fucking sock on, to be fair, needed to be because we, yeah, he was, he was full-on fucking fetal position.

There's a picture actually, there's a picture.

I did take a picture.

Cookie's got a picture. Poppy asked Cookie for a picture. There it is, pink.

And then the lady comes along food's fucking fantastic on this plane, and you were like, phenomenal, disappointed.

I miss it. I would have been.

And she was like, oh, you with that guy? And I'm like, yeah, in a way.

Yeah, in a heterosexual way.

Yeah, people, people do assume, presume, and who knows. Yeah, I was like, yeah, I'm gonna say no. Yeah, why, you okay? And she was like, um, I cannot wake him, my touch is too light.

She's so stroking me, so she's just sending me into a deeper sleep.

Slumber. Yeah, there he is. Yeah, so I'm there like, and obviously most people want to smack you. Yeah, you would say like, I have met me like proportionally more than 50% probably want to smack you. So I'm like, listen, what I would do right now is just really fucking clock him one to— and he'll— because one, he'll be, he'll be like, um, thankful because you're gonna give him the food. And two, at some point in this flight, you'll probably wanna do it anyway, and it's best you get him while he's asleep. Proactive, yeah.

But anyway, she wouldn't do it. No.

So I just gave you a good fucking earthquake.

He woke up all angry, but then realized it was food and was, "Oh." Nom nom nom nom nom nom.

Yeah, so that was the first one. The importation thing was the second one, but we can't talk about that. Nope. Third one was the hotel. The hotel lady. Ah, that was a good one.

She actually triggers really horrible feelings in me.

It's like, I'm not—

so we get to a hotel because of the Airbnb we have booked, which was lovely by the way. Thanks, Chloe.

It was amazing. She did a great job.

Kind of undermined by the shit hotel you booked us in on the first night.

Rough and smooth, man.

It was rough into smooth, but come on.

Yeah, but I suppose maybe that made us appreciate the Airbnb more.

Yeah, all right. Yeah, I did what I did, definitely.

Yeah. So we get there, also looked exteriorly fine, and we get in there and we get to reception and it was just shenanigan after shenanigan.

It was, it was awful.

It was such a horrible—

it was the most flunkiest check-in I've ever experienced. Now I don't know whether we're just getting a bit ahead of ourselves nowadays and we're, you know, yeah, we've flown in the nice side of the plane.

Yeah, fair enough.

And we're getting woken up very gently Or not at all by Singaporean ladies. Yeah, very nice dresses.

Yeah. And then we get to the— too light of a touch, and it's like just abrasive. You don't want us to stay here, do you? You've seen two—

where have you parked? You've seen a Wells Fargo?

Yeah, okay, sure. Yes. Yeah, pretty much.

You're gonna need a ticket then, unless you're leaving before 9. We are.

Okay, otherwise you need a ticket.

Yep, otherwise get a ticket.

All right.

It was just like going in circles a lot.

It was horrible. She was very, very aggressive.

She was like, I need your card, don't need your card. Yeah, I need your fucking—

oh yeah, that was right.

Scan your payment, don't need to scan your payment.

It's just fucking— yeah, just fucking make your mind up. And then the, um, the actual rooms were okay. Yeah, the corridors though, corridors were a shit show.

Like, I'm a—

I'm a cluttery guy, let's be honest. I wouldn't say dirty.

Fuck, mate, I don't know. Have a look at your van. Yeah, it's got a layer, point taken, internal layer, point taken.

But in my house, cluttery. But I do wipe surfaces and clean some stuff.

Pick up clutter, wipe under it, put the clutter back down, basically.

Yeah, but these corridors, there was like partially eaten food outside people's doors for the whole time we were there. So like a longer than 24-hour period. Right, it doesn't seem great. No, it had flies on it and it was stinky, and the hotel was stinky.

Yeah, it was.

It smelled like sewage when you walked past the swimming pool area. It did, it did. That wasn't great either. We won't mention the name.

No, but it was in Fremantle and there's only one hotel there, so we won't mention the name. Yeah, Fremantle.

Yeah, but What did we do in the night after we checked in?

Oh, we went out, ice cream, tiramisu ice cream, which we'll ping up here. And this can be our tiramisu for this episode.

Yeah, nice. It was great as well.

It was a decent 9.25.

We basically peppered the ice cream lady into it. Well, we challenged that. We used the opposition reflex thing. Yeah, like you do to me quite regularly. Yeah, into basically stomping so much ice cream into it, it was actually awkward to eat.

It was fucking— I couldn't get through the fucking thing. It was bigger than Adam's head. I got a picture here. Yeah. And that isn't even edited either. He's got somewhat of a pea head, but still pretty big. Yeah, yeah, she did take that challenge and she'd fucking— she was like, fuck you, she had good attitude.

You want to see how much ice cream I can get in a cone? You're welcome.

Yeah, we also challenged another guy today, Joe, Indian Joe, in—

yeah, in Roundhay Park. Yeah, he did a good job too, to be fair.

Yeah, he did.

That was a different type of ice cream, is the whippy version. As opposed to soft serve or soft scoop, which, um, which type of ice cream do you reckon is easiest to get capacity with? Like the, the whipped one or the—

Nah, the whipped one hasn't the fucking backbone. It'll just fall out the edges. Doesn't have the structural integrity that fucking scoopy does.

Like heavy gelato.

Yeah, it depends, like temperature, I guess. Large component there.

Yeah, that's true.

But I think if equal temperatures I think we're going to do everything.

Yeah, backing it. Yeah, nice. Yeah, fair. All right, because we didn't exactly have a lot of time before the boot camp anyway, did we? So we landed on the Sunday afternoon, it was boot camp Monday morning.

Yep, we were tired.

Yeah, there was a little bit of fatigue going on.

We were pretty, we were pretty snoozy.

Yeah, I don't even remember that much of it. It was just— no, it was a bit of a blur. I remember you coming out of retirement Yep, trained a couple of dogs, did good, did fire into a few dogs. Yeah, yeah, which is good, good to see.

Saw the new Perth site, which is very nice.

Yeah, amazing. We've got a fucking—

ping a few pictures up here, a video tour.

Yeah, like one of them little fucking— the one they like overlay them.

Yeah, yeah, like a stack of Polaroid type thing.

Yep, that's what I'm thinking of.

Nice pops, there you are. Fire them up there. Great production value for the people.

Couple of your mentees met us over there. Yep, Big Sean.

Big Sean got you a hat.

Got me this amazing hat.

It stayed on daily.

Yeah, that's pretty much stayed on since. The only problem with it is he said I can't get it wet, so in the British climate it's a bit of a—

Ideal. Why can't you get it wet? It just fucking—

I don't know, I assume it'll misshape or something, fall apart.

Yeah, well, don't tell us what type of hat it is.

And a kubra. Is it made out of I think he said some sort of hair, like, I don't know, I'll find out. All right, but yeah, I'm— I like it, it's good. And if people don't like it, then fuck you, get fucked.

Yeah, yeah, that's a nice place, isn't it?

Yeah, it's a good place. I had a few like fucking stupid cowboy jokes and shit, but I honestly don't care.

Big-ass cowboy. Yeah, they're just jealous of it, mate.

Perth, good place.

Fuck all that, but it's nice.

Perth Centre. Incredible. Good little like nature reserve opposite.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dog trainers with kangaroos in there apparently, but yeah, we did not see one, but probably would have been challenging for some of the dogs though.

Did see a quacker or two though.

Multi-quack. They were funny.

We picked them up there. I touched one, wasn't supposed to.

I poked one.

Yeah, they touched us, anything.

Yeah, if anything. I mean, it did come into a restaurant and then sit on my lap. Yeah, went for the feet area.

So what am I gonna do? Yeah, he's licking my hand. This is a female. Yeah, Waltette.

Pretty good, pretty cute. Yeah, really good.

Well, we had electric— we were on e-bikes as well.

That was good. We cycled the shit out of the island, didn't we? Yeah, but we wouldn't have done it around Rock Ness Island.

Rot Ness Island.

Rot Ness.

Yeah, yeah, which stems from Rat Nest Island.

Yeah, which is crazy.

The bloke who discovered it confused the quokkas with giant rats.

Yeah, which I could sort of see.

Yeah, but they're cute. Yeah, chubby cheeks and smiley faces. We had more ice cream on that island, I think. Hey, we did, we did. Ice cream the whole fucking time, to be fair. Yeah, that was with like a whippy ice cream. But a few tiramisus out there. Yep, we had a tiramisu in an Italian restaurant. They were incredibly aggressive staff as well.

Yeah, they were.

The food was fantastic again, so like the product they were delivering, I know, it's like they let the food carry them and they can just get away with anything else.

Yeah, knobs.

But yeah, fair enough. Yeah, that was good.

Oh, fucking hell, we had a 900-gram steak apiece at one point.

We did.

It's nearly a kilo by my maths.

Yeah, it is. Yeah, that was pretty nuts. Didn't get any pickies or anything like that.

No.

Pretty good restaurant. Spent more than we probably ever have on a meal. And then they decided to chase us out the restaurant and ask if we'd paid.

Yeah, that was a bit of a shitbag. After you tipped the guy as well.

After I tipped the guy very fucking—

You went and found him.

Yeah.

Tipped him because you're like, oh no, I want that specific guy to have this because he was really good. Yeah. And then one of the other little fuckers came running after us like, have you paid? And we're like, yes, just because we're dressed like shit. Oh, because why would we dress like shit though? I don't know, because we've just been to the game.

Oh yeah, I played a game of RL. We'll put my try up here.

There you are. Yeah, nice.

Yeah, there he is sweeping across, number 4.

There you are. It's kind of the bit where he gets absolutely creamed by a guy. Yeah, you didn't, you didn't, you actually played good. Yeah, 2 training sessions, in, bang. It was a derby game, it was a triple header.

Yeah, yeah.

And all of your teams won. Yeah, ladies won before you, you then dominated, and then the first team dominated after. Yes, it was a good day out. Really good. I even liked how we watched it, just sat on the grass chilling. Yeah, it wasn't particularly hot. Like, none of the weather was hot, to be honest. It was way hotter here than it was there.

That was a great day, wasn't it? Yeah, it was really good. Mega steaks. And then that silly, silly, silly lady could have ruined it. Could, but we didn't. We didn't.

No, just kind of laughed it off, really. Yeah, which is mature of us.

I think we've grown as people.

Yeah, we're growing. Yeah. But no, I really enjoyed watching.

That was the— yeah, so we went boot camp, day 1 of seminar, yeah, game of rugby league, day 2 of seminar, yeah, 5-day boot camp.

Gonna speak about the seminar or flew home? Yeah, we had one day off. We had the Rottnest Island day off. Oh yeah, okay, but that's one day off.

We had the Rottnest Monster Island day off.

One day off in 2 weeks, not bad, is it?

No, no. No, it was really intense, wasn't it? I was tired the whole time. I feel really sorry for anyone that interacted with me whilst I was there.

Wasn't good.

Yeah, pretty tight.

There was a lot of aggression in the truck, but we— to be fair, we kept it in the truck. We kept it and kept it in the truck. Yeah, we nearly crashed. Yep, because we were eyeballing the fuck out of each other trying to fight. Yep, yep.

And then you almost went into the back of someone at pace as well. I was probably pretty quick.

60 miles an hour.

That's actually the second time that's almost happened, but the first time we were looking at a tattoo studio. You're gonna get a tattoo of Bumble on your neck. Yep. Um, yeah, it was pretty intense. Oh, there's young man.

Look, we thought you're going to talk about the seminar.

Like, yeah, the seminar was interesting. Yeah, it's a big, big seminar. 100 people, 100 attendees, biggest one we've ever done. Yeah, by a decent— by a big— by about 30%.

So It just wasn't too bad though. It didn't feel like too much.

Nah, it didn't feel too—

it's all right. A few little doggies on there and that.

Yeah, 5 working spots. 3-legged dog, a 3-legged boy, big shepherd. That, that shepherd got on all right because he stayed for boot camp the week after, didn't he?

Yeah, yeah, he was good. Yeah, the Greek island of Corfu. Yes, yeah. He was, he was a good place to pick you up, wasn't he?

He'd not been for a walk in 2 fucking years. Yeah, he'd not been. Yeah, that's true.

Not, that's crazy.

In 2 whole yonks. We'll throw a little bit of video footage up here. Yeah, because he was so reactive.

Yeah, yeah.

And then he was pretty— we got, when we were on the beach off leash, well, he had a long line on.

Yeah.

And, um, I was like to his owner, we'd bring through all the proofing and that, I was like, get that long line off, come on. Second later, we get charged by fucking 3 off-leash dogs. But to be fair, he just looked like he was just fucking wobbling around with him.

Yeah, he was a good boy.

And then he'd come back and they carried on playing. But yeah, he was a good boy. Really nice dog. Like the water. Some nice beaches out in Perth. We ate some great food, great ice cream.

Yeah. Who's your favorite dog on— well, either way, let's go on both boot camps.

Yeah, either or the whole time?

Yeah. Oh, fuck. You all— because you always end up with a little bit of an affinity towards a dog, don't you?

Yes. Well, I like Kevin week 1 because he's a sausage dog and he was a very brave boy.

Yeah, he was actually. So he nearly got fucking— well, it could have gone—

it could have gone—

I wouldn't say he nearly got smoked, that's not true. But yeah, he got a little prickly situation with the pity.

Yeah, he dealt with very well, bless him. Yeah, really well.

Yeah. And my favorite was the pity who had— who was on the danger— unfortunately on the dangerous dogs list.

Oh yeah.

The muzzle. Yeah, yeah, I really liked him. He reminded me of Leo who came here that time. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, slightly less nervy, but yeah, still a little bit. I'm not too sure, but I had some good cuddlies with him in the end. You're a nice boy, he was.

Just walking in front of the camera, are we? Jesus Christ, this guy.

Hey, it's a little bit easy.

I know. Um, who else do we have on week 2? They're all great. It's actually a really good group of dogs. Bo was a good dog on week 1, the old Malin float.

Yeah, yeah, you enjoyed working with him, didn't you? I could tell.

Yeah, he's a good boy. Yeah. Um, any more?

Any others? Big Nef kind of swung us around a bit.

Yeah, Big, Big Nef kind of swung us around. I swung him around a little bit.

Yeah, so I'll tell the story. Go on then, because it was a non— it's a non-dog training story really. It's just a special move, an instinctive special move.

Yeah.

An instinctive, unplanned special move.

Oh, I like Neff.

Yeah, so he's like a huge, like, Rhodesian Mastiff mix. Yeah. And he's a little human spicy, he's a little dog spicy. With some dogs, he's curious, very sexually driven, very sexually driven. Oh, it was like in a creepy way. Um, anyway, we get to the offsite, one of the offsite places, and we're in the car park me and you are like trying to help, um, Heavenly, his owner. So all three of us are at the back of this 4x4. Yeah, G pops the boot open, gets like, sort of start sorting his tackle out. And like, because we're so attentive on him, didn't see the little fucking old geezer with a black, tiny black dog. It was under the car, that's why I didn't see the dog. It comes out from under the car and then big fella just sees it launches himself at it, bashes Heavenly out the way, and then Heavenly's on the floor. This fucker grabs his by the collar. Bearing in mind, if you'd have grabbed the collar any other time, you would have belted him. Grabbed the collar under the waist and did like a pirouette. We surely— we can AI a video of this. Yeah, yeah, fuck it. Spins. It was like a great— like, you know, when you're a small fella or a smaller fella, no offense, and a big, a big fella runs at you on the pitch. Yeah. And you just absorb and flip.

Yeah, yeah, basically. I've had to do that.

Yeah, yeah, you did it in the game actually.

Yeah, I did actually.

Ironic. Anyway, fucking catch him, spin, bang, straight back into the crate, door shut. And Nef was like, what the fuck has just happened? I was just trying to kill a dog and then, you know, I'm like back in my crate. This is fucking weird. Yeah. So yeah, that was a good special move.

That would have— that situation would have ended horribly.

Oh yeah, I reckon he'd have been— I reckon he'd have got him in a winner. Yeah, because it was an older little— I think even him just landing on him would have done it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because he's just a big, big dog. Yeah, big dog, and just fired up in that moment, wasn't he?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, um, we chaperoned him down the walk. You actually walked him. It was— he was probably the most probably the most nervous I've been for the longest period of time because obviously I'm on the 2 lead trying to look after you. You're like, have you got me? And I'm like, oh, I fucking hope so. I would rather it would be me. Yeah, I would rather have been on the other end of it and being the one taking it. So, so like so much responsibility when you're looking after someone else's leg. Yeah, but we've missed something that happened before the Neff incident.

Did we?

Well, yeah, there's a clue.

Oh yeah, you got punched by a random lady in the street. Yeah, incredible.

So she said— so she walks over to us too. We're looking at all the dogs on the grass. Yeah, she walks over and she said something, and I made a shit joke and took the piss out of her a little bit. And then she said something else like, oh, what are they then? And I was like, well, they're dogs. And with that, she just went, fuck off, and punched him in the arm. Gave me one in the shoulder, and it was like decent shot. Yeah. And I was like, fucking hell, imagine if I did that to you. And she went, nah, fair enough, and just walked off.

She's like, yeah, fuck, yeah, just fucking punched him in the arm.

Oh, okay. So yeah, that was funny. Then, then the next—

I like that.

Yeah, I did. We had a good laugh about that. Yeah. And then the spinning incident with Nef, and then about a fucking— it felt like 2 days worth of walking with the big fella down that really tiny path. It actually went okay.

And we come up with a new dog training technique.

Yeah. So we— The path is like— It's like a human wide. It's not a wide path at all.

No. And Nef's pretty wide.

And he's a big unit, yeah. So, we get to a point— We were trying to put a tickler on him at the time, so we were trying to find a prong collar that will fit him. Yeah, but in the moment when we're trying to do it, along comes—

we're fiddling and fiddling and fiddling, trying to get the collar on the dog so we can actually have some fucking control of him, the big lump.

Yeah, in that moment, obviously timely, little dog comes along, doesn't it? Yeah, and he's staring at it and he's building and he's squeaking, and we're down a—

what is it called— down a river without a paddle.

Yeah, something like that, something like that. And we got holes in the boat. Yep. The sharks in there, probably some crocs too. They don't know what's going on. Yep. Anacondas. Yep. So you, you just in the moment had no choice. Had no choice. There was one thing you could do at that time because you, you had nothing else.

I had nothing else.

So what did you do?

I tried to dazzle him with the prong collar in front of him, try to distract him by shaking the prong collar.

It was a chrome prong collar. Yeah. I was like, oh, look at this! Oh, look at this! I was like, look at this! Like one of those fucking wind—

to be fair, he didn't try and chin the dog.

He didn't. No. So I like one of those wind chimes.

I was doing an interpretive dance trying to get this dog's attention just to divert his attention away from potentially eating another dog and/or human. Oh, bless him.

And we can't say it didn't work.

Not— no, we haven't tried it again. We haven't tried it enough to say it didn't work. And this isn't us saying it did work either. Yes, there's definitely—

so don't— don't—

maybe not be your go-to like methodology, but yeah, yeah, it wouldn't be the first one.

Um, yeah, if you're in Schitt's Creek, you gotta do what you gotta do. Yeah. Then obviously there was a second boot camp. He came, he joined, he tagged on to the back end of that one because double boot camper, double boot camper guy.

Everyone else sound, by the way, yeah, this fucking dog. Again, I liked him.

Yeah, you couldn't not like him even though he would probably have given you a piece of shit. He would have killed me in my sleep.

Yeah, nah, I don't think he would.

He was quite friendly with us by the end of it.

Yeah, he was. He was cute.

I really liked him. I gave him a couple of rubs on that giant balls.

He's big prostate, I think, or yeah, something around there.

Something was big. So we discussed with, uh, Gooch, Big Gooch, what's his name, Liam, didn't we? Yeah, obviously we're not go-to balls-off guys. Oh, but to discuss whether that might be because he's so crazy sexy driven, sexy, like, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.

I don't think it was every time he smelled anything. Yeah, it's just so hard to get— just gain his attention.

Yeah.

Without fucking having put like a decent amount of pressure on him.

Yeah, like almost unethically high amounts pressure.

So just because he was so fucking barred up, you'd have a hard-on every 2 to 3 minutes?

Yeah, yeah.

So do you, to be fair, nowadays.

I know, don't—

yeah, been taking his zinc, ladies and gentlemen. Get blue balls. Yeah, yeah.

I thought you said he has a hard-on every 5 seconds.

Oh, he did, he did. Yeah, so does Ian. Yeah, because to be fair, yeah, you and Nef probably haven't someone out in similar amount of time.

Yeah, potentially.

Yeah, 4 years old. Yep, there you go.

Damn, damn. Anyway, yeah, and then there was a bit of a— so on, we took him on the beach, to be fair, and he's doing pretty fucking good. Recall got decent. Um, and then that geese came along with his 3 dogs. Yep.

So he's got like, um, a couple of whippets, like a fat spaniel or something.

Yeah, but And I see him fucking just running over to all the other dogs, and all the other dogs are doing pretty good, but I was like, this fucker's not ready for that. So I grabbed— I said to Abby, look, I'll two-lead him potentially, you might have to just intercept. She managed to snag one of them, and the guy got pissed off by it, which is a bit ridiculous, but we'll come to that. But then the other one like fucking went around her, and they ended up schneck to schneck. But actually he was fucking sound. Yeah, I need— by rights, with that one, he probably didn't need to be.

No.

Yeah, um, but yeah, funny. And then you had a little chat to the guy.

We did. We had an altercation. Yeah, I did film it. I could throw it up, but I'm not— nah, nah, I got, I got, um, and he said some of the most stupidest shit a human being has ever said. Yeah, yeah, you could, you could put it maybe, you could put it on Instagram. It would go viral, but I'm not, I'm not out to fucking—

yeah, fair enough. Doing all geeky— he was actually all right.

He was all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

A little bit of a knob, but he's like a good knob.

If you're going to take dogs that have issues here, you should let us know. And I was like, one, who's us? Like, you want some sort of committee I'm going in? He's like, no. And I'm like, well, what the fuck do you want me to do?

You want to send us some carrier pigeons over?

Yeah, fucking Ouija board.

Just That's word of the day.

Yeah. Um, I was like, fine, but he's like, your dogs are the ones that have run up and barked at our dogs. Yeah. Which again, fucking whatever, dogs do stuff.

He was just defending the barking though. Yeah, he was like, that's how they communicate.

Yeah, but he's going, what, are you a dog trainer? And I went, nope. And he went, well, and then starts lecturing me, dogs are pack animals, when they bark it means this.

And I'm like, oh yeah, oh yeah. Yeah, he was pretty fun. I got summonsed in case you were going to fill him in. You didn't look like you were going to.

Nah, I wasn't. I wasn't interested in—

But just in case.

No, I liked him.

Yeah, he was alright.

Stood up for what he believed in.

Yeah.

We shook hands and went our separate ways. We agreed to disagree.

Yeah.

I said, you enjoy your day with your dog, sir.

Yeah, it was pretty good, wasn't it?

Yeah. He was a bit of a knob, but I guess I am too.

Yeah, we've all got a little bit of knob in us. I had a fucking go at a guy in the traffic queue today. You did, didn't you? Which I've not done for a while. I actually had a real good incident the other day where—

well, you're working on a few bits anyway.

Yeah. So like, you know, in the mini roundabout, the guy's like, we're coming straight at each other.

Uh-huh.

He doesn't indicate, I don't indicate. So for me, that's just— we just—

you're gonna go both going straight on.

Yeah, yeah. He turns, uh, and he beeps at me. Okay, so one, he's fucked up, and two, he's blaming me for his fuck-up. So I stopped.

So you've got every right to be annoyed.

Yeah, disgruntled at least, minimum. So I stopped on the mini roundabout, and usually that could go the wrong way.

Oh, it could, yeah. Did you have your hat on or no?

This one? Yeah. No, because it hits the ceiling. All right, okay. And he winds the window down and he starts fucking— he starts off like, and I wind the window down and he sort of like stops and looked at me and I was like, what? And he went, well, I was turning. I was like, yeah, but you didn't indicate though. And then he went, oh, sorry mate.

I think it's better on him than you, that, to be fair.

Yeah, but back in the day I would have gone— yeah, yeah, I'd have gone full reactive dog, flipped his car, and there's the moment he beeped at me, it was his fault.

Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, the big strong man called Jeff Capes. Jeff Capes. Yeah, so everybody over— Jacob Morgan here flipping over a car.

Yeah, I wasn't so good though.

But no, you didn't. You weren't good at all. You just— a bit of a regression.

Yeah, a little, but that's relapse relevant to dog training too. You can have a lot of regressions when you're working on stuff.

Yeah, fair enough, so long as you then fix them up.

And I did admit I was wrong. Well, I wasn't wrong, right? But I did admit I shouldn't have reacted the way I did.

Okay, that's good. Yeah, it's probably a start. Yeah, shout out to Samwise Ganji.

Oh, the Ganji, for putting up with us, almost being non-reactive, but she just didn't make the last couple of days.

Yeah, we got her, we broke her, we got it, boys, ladies and gentlemen, we got her. Cool, calm, and collected till day 14.

Yeah, then became very spicy, like, very aggressive, came all out at once, didn't it?

Yeah, all came out at once. Fair enough, she lasted probably about 12 days.

Yeah, which no one's ever done, ever.

No, ever. I only have to like look at Chloe a certain way.

12 minutes.

Eat less than 12 seconds. Yeah, I have to look at Chloe a certain way, do a certain face, and she'd fucking just fucking Hulk it, implode.

Yeah, fair enough. So, you know, yeah, whatever.

Anything else from Australia? Australia? Do you have a question?

The, um, the Flexi incident.

Oh yeah, that was good. Yeah, we need to throw that up here. Ian got fucking dominated by—

I got a mark on my shin still, look. It's just in a pulse, but it's that fucking song, is the music. I like the synth of this.

Got terribly addicted to a song.

Yeah.

Oh yeah. All right, so we did a quick, um, what were we talking about?

Well, we should probably talk about the song. You put it on every single journey that we made.

You loved it.

I didn't mind it at all.

You requested it multiple times. Olivia Dean and Sam Fenders, rein in on me.

Dino. Okay, yeah.

What else did we get? Where are we up to? We went to the gym a few times. I made a friend, big friend, probably bigger than you.

It probably was bigger than me. It wasn't as lean.

It wasn't as lean.

No, fair enough. Yeah, big dude though.

You just play footy.

Isn't anymore. Oh, the Flexi Lead incident.

Oh yeah, brilliant. Yeah, you got dominated by Flexi Lead. Do you want to tell the story? Well, in fact, we'll throw the video up right here. Well, you have to watch this. If you're driving or doing something where you can't watch it, you need to stop what you're doing, watch this fucking video. Okay, it's incredibly important. Play with sand.

So the big fella, obviously, um, a little bit of history of redirecting towards the owner. Oh, sorry. So we had him on a 2-leader. The 2-leader was a flexi lead so that I could—

secondary lead flexi—

fairly far away, not, not interfere with the training.

Not— you could also be variable in your distance from the dog.

Yeah, you could. And I was quite a long way from the dog. Yeah, because at that point that was early in the week, it was like a Monday or Tuesday, so he was still a bit hot. Uh-huh. Anyway, we fucking— we did our session, short little session, because it was out the back, it was pretty warm. I was like, right, okay, we'll finish there, we'll take off the tackle on. I like looked away from momentarily, Heavenly unclipped the flexi lead and it came flying back And rather than coming to my fucking hand, the metal bit cracked me right in the shin.

Is that from that?

Yeah, get a shot of that, Susie. Look, look, look, look, look. Fucking— he split me shin, literally split it. So that's like, what, 2 weeks old? More, longer than 2 weeks old.

Oh my God, that's incredible. Yeah, it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I'm so glad it was caught on video.

It's not really her fault because she's just I'm taking the gear off, so I can't go. If it was you, I'd have sprayed the crap out of you. Funny though, but I just had to take care. I was just like walking off going, fuck, because it did smart quite a bit. Yeah, things in your shin always do, don't they?

Yep. Yeah, that's pretty much it. We didn't get much fucking extracurricular done, did we?

Basically zero. Rocknest was the extracurricular, your rugby game, and eating.

A lot.

But you have to eat anyway. Yeah. Sean.

Oh yeah, Sean put on a spread for us. Did he? Shout out to Sean. Probably some of the best food I've ever, ever had.

The steak he cooked, I ate it about 4 or 5 days after he cooked it. Got it out the fridge and was just like, I need a snack. And it was amazing cold. I don't think I've ever had good cold steak before. And I was just like, that's fucking wild.

He can cook a meal, that boy. Yeah. Spread. I think we had king prawns, we had two different types of steak, we have salmon, two different types of prawns there were.

Yeah, that's true. Crazy.

There were tiger prawns and king prawns.

Yeah, I don't even know the difference, but no, maybe Poppy could let us know what the difference is. Yeah, there's some sort of difference. Yeah, so that was pretty wild.

Yeah, that was nice. He went in, he went fucking— he went in. Yeah, shout out to Sean.

Never seen like a home-cooked meal like that.

Nah, it was— well, he was a chef, to be fair. Yeah, he's got— still got an Instagram, Sean the Chef.

Turns out he wasn't a shit one.

No, no, he's fucking half as good at training dogs.

He knows hats and he knows food and yeah, trains a few dogs now. There you go.

Your mate Nick was out there.

Yeah, yeah, Nick off the, um, development program came out to see us. Yep, that was pretty good.

I think since being given a job at Tassie Academy, I believe he has. So there you go. So there's the progression steps for you.

Very good progression set. But to be fair, he was like super committed. He was really committed in the course and then said, right, fuck it, I'll come up from Tasmania whilst you're there, shadow a boot camp. Super committed to that and then was good when he was there.

So there you go.

Why the fuck not, mate?

Would you like a job?

Here you go.

Yeah, I think they're up to like 4 or 5 employees already in like the second month because they're just so busy.

Yeah.

Because it's sunny there. Yeah, obviously sunny in Australia, you don't need to market because when the sun comes out as a dog trainer, you just— there you go. Nothing to do with our webinars anyway.

Nope, nope, nope, nope.

Um, Google Ads, no, no, ads, ads, mads. What are we even hiring Mick for?

Sunny, man.

Yeah, yeah, we could probably save a lot of money. This is for the next podcast, you know what you're gonna say, don't you?

I do, because I was gonna say the same thing. I was just trying to save it.

Yeah, the next one. All right, all right, you gotta wait for the next one.

This is a good one too. This is pretty wacky.

It's pretty wild. You're gonna judge Kelly.

Wait, drunk Kelly.

You're gonna judge— if you didn't already judge her for being a fucking absolute mad pisshead.

Yeah, you're gonna— you may— I mean, maybe you'll be on board with it. I don't know, you know, you don't know.

Maybe a different flavor.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you want me to give your tiramisu ice cream whilst we were away a rating?

Yeah. 'Cause that's— 9.5. Because it was gelato and tiramisu. Sorry.

I give it a 9.25, to be fair.

Gelato and tiramisu in one is just fucking— It doesn't get much better. I'm just saving the 10 just in case there's something that we don't know about, like— Maybe like something, something kind of saved the 10, really.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Um, I suppose the last thing then, the journey home. Yeah, 30 hours. Yep. 3 hours of sleep.

Wasn't exactly short, was it?

No, no, no.

Pretty long stopover at Singapore Airport.

Yeah, 4 hours in the airport. We bought each other t-shirts.

We did, because we were obviously in that room.

Yeah, um, so we needed fresh shirts and we set each other challenges to go.

I thought they were all right, they were good. You got complimented on yours at one point.

Yeah, he did. Yeah, yeah, the guys on the airport— on the airport— on the airplane. Yeah, oh, nice t-shirt, man.

Singapore.

Yeah, dude. Yeah, I don't know why it says a little city of lions on it. I don't know, I need to know. Is it?

Yeah, yeah, let's get it up. Why Singapore?

I can get a picture of the t-shirt. I still got it. I washed it.

Everything. Singapore, City of Lions. Singapore is globally renowned as the Lion City, is a premier hypermodern global financial and cultural hub of Southeast Asia. Yeah, the name derives from Sanskrit honoring the 13th century prince who, according to legend, saw a creature resembling a lion on the island.

That's pretty— that's a bit of a reach, isn't it?

Very loose. Yeah, very loose. But do they have—

it's not even an actual lion.

It was something— are there native lions?

Nah. So, no way.

There'll be tigers there now.

I don't think so.

No, lions are not native to Southeast Asia.

Have a look at tigers then.

Yep. Yes, tigers are native to Southeast Asia. The region is historically a major stronghold for these big cats. So he said it, you know, similar to a lion.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, probably a tiger then.

You're done.

No, not a single bush turkey.

Yeah, that's true. They must be native of Perth. Yeah, that's very true. Heard some kookaburras, didn't see one. Yeah, I heard lots of kookaburras and galahs.

Yeah, can't move with galahs.

So many galahs.

I'm just thinking some fish. We didn't see much wildlife, to be fair. No, because we saw lizards last time.

Mm, good whales.

Whales, actual big whales. Catfish, dolphins, catfish.

Yeah. Snakes.

Now, did we see a snake? I don't think we saw a snake.

We saw a sign for a snake.

We saw a big spider.

Oh, we did, yeah.

A garden funnel. What was it? Yeah, yeah, big too. Trying to get a picture, couldn't, couldn't focus on it, so I haven't got a picture of it, but it is pretty big.

He's a big boy.

Yeah, yeah. Um, what else?

Anything else?

Yeah, flight back was just a bit of a fucking arsehole, wasn't it?

And then we had a drive back as well, which was awful, but in traffic was about 6 hours.

I got a picture of us just sweating in the back of the fucking YCA bus, like half fucking shirts off, just like me and Ranger just panting like fuck. Oh, it wasn't nice, was it? No, I was miserable by then.

Pabs was smiling in the front too, it must have been way different up there.

Yeah, maybe, maybe not been on the plane for 30 hours.

Yeah, fair enough. But that's something to do with it, maybe. Yeah, fair enough. That's probably— well, we've traveled back now, haven't we?

So we're here now. We're now fast forward a couple of days, we're here straight into a boot camp. Yeah, we had Sunday off, didn't we?

Yeah, yeah.

And now, yep. Day 5 of— with the 5 days down the line.

Yeah, it's been a good one. We went around there this morning, it was a good one to be fair. Yeah, every single dog off lead, fully off lead.

Yeah, I saw that.

I don't think any had muzzles on either. No, little fella did yesterday, the little, um, Spaniel. Oh, the little kind of looks like a Spaniel with a Pommy mix. Yeah, um, but yeah, even that guy.

Yeah, nice.

It's pretty good. Skills.

Yeah. Alrighty, well, we'll wrap that one up. That's the Australia Perth debrief. If you want to check out what they're up to, you can check them out on Instagram. You'll see Adam all over our YouTube. And, um, Brodie's due back. Maybe we get Brodie on for a podcast.

Yeah, that'd be good.

Yeah, the real brains behind the operation.

Yeah, yeah, we're getting both on.

Yeah, there you go.

Yeah.

All right, okay, we'll see you in the next one. Which we're about to film actually.

It's gonna be right now. We just release separate weeks or— yeah, or double header.

Double header.

Yeah, imagine a double header.

Say bye, Ian.

Bye, Ian.