EP 80: The One With All The Links (It's Getting Out Of Hand)

We need to pitch stuff early because people leave because they realize we.

Oh, that's a good point.

Yeah. So you can click the link in the description to come and visit us in New Zealand or see us, be there for us to visit you. Turns out far you travel.

I guess, yeah. Would you reckon anyone would ever travel to New Zealand from Leeds to visit us, to visit us there instead?

It would take a special type of person.

Yeah. Interesting being.

What else do we have to talk about? Feel like something's. Oh, yeah. Michael has Candace in.

So.

Yeah, we did say that. One of the last podcasts, we officially launched it before it was penciled in. Turns out the eraser was deployed. Yeah, he's no longer coming.

He really got the tip X out on us.

Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, we're sorry about that. We're sorry if you got excited, but one day, here we are one now. Yeah, he says he really, really, really wants to come. Just not.

Yes, just not yet. You reckon there's like a box we've got to take before you go?

Yeah, maybe. Maybe. I might have to start capoeira.

Yeah.

Get a second degree Blue Dam

something. Yeah, yeah, good.

Anything else we need to talk about? Did we have a new floor last time because we got a new floor?

I think we did because we got

a floor Clean new floor because we bought a floor cleaner. There it is. There she is. She's an absolute beauty. And your support on this podcast and such, we appreciate it.

Supports cleanliness.

We started a new free community which will also link description where Kirky goes live once a week. So you can literally have.

Yeah.

A chat with this guy.

It was good on inaugural one this week.

The inaugural singular authentic wonky chat.

Yeah. How did it go? Maybe not as clean as the stuff you do, but there's some pretty good questions, like obviously a general reactivity stuff. But yeah, it was. It was good. It was good. That's some good chats. There's interestingly like a couple of people who are coming on boot camps later in the year. Just getting a bit of like pre advice. Obviously we now have changed our process a little bit anyway, so we put out a call prior so they've got. They would get that opportunity anyway. But it was just good to catch up with them, see what problems they're struggling with. It's like a lovely couple of ladies and there's actually some from previous boot camps who were very complimentary of them.

Yeah, nice.

There you go. Other people were kind of asking about the boot camps on the call. I didn't even really have to answer the questions. They stuck their two pence in and it was better than my one pence.

Nice.

I don't know.

It's called a circle joke. Yeah, it's called a flywheel. Magic wheel of fly.

Yep.

That's cool. Hans visited us yesterday.

Yeah, he's been promising it for a while.

You actually don't realize how much progress you we've probably made until someone from an old version of life visits and he's like, what the fuck? Yeah, he's like, last time I see you, you were in field and I think often about these girls, how they sat in shed and water and pissed one little heater like this and even you owe them a lot. Do we? Yeah, joking, joking, joking. No, we do value, namely Chloe and Susie. He was, he was, he was like amazed. He was amazed at their durability.

Yeah. He's like, they're still not much made like British girls, man.

No, no. God no. So it was nice to see him.

He's very nice.

Drove from Belgium to see us, so I think he might have something else on, but. No, no, you're probably right.

Yeah.

Yeah. He come here for two coffees.

Yeah.

Incredibly late coffees too.

Yeah. He didn't give a fuck. Yeah.

He had two doubles at 6pm Ish.

Yeah. Oh, I wouldn't have slept.

I didn't sleep well last night, to be honest. I was up at 3. I had a webinar I was super excited about. Maybe more like nervous about or. I don't know.

You don't get nervous. I do. No, you don't.

All right, I don't. All right. I was just trying to be more relatable to normal people.

It's an interesting thing, isn't it? The difference between excitement and nervousness and anticipation. Yeah, yeah. Because like, obviously I've played in a few games of sports, big games. Yeah. Look, I wouldn't ever have described the feeling in those bigger games as nervous.

Really?

Never.

Really?

Which people will probably say, ah, fuck off, you silly long knobhead. But. And fine if they want to do that. But yeah, exactly. So what's, what's a few more genuinely just like really excited. Anticipation. I was nervous in some smaller games.

Why?

Because I had a tendency to be shit in those games.

All right.

And maybe that was like self perpetuating. Right.

But you were excited for them. Would you sleep the night before or. Not really.

Yeah, usually. Okay.

Oh, crazy. No, I. I used to get really nervous in. In any sport really. To my detriment. But how have you find it. How have you found, like a public speaking now? You do that more.

Okay. Because I've transitioned to transition. Yeah. Slowly.

Another stroke.

Yeah, Obviously, like when we first kicked off with boot camps. Quite. And then I'd done a bit like back in the sporting days. You wouldn't. Because I spent a lot of time injured. And if you were injured, you used to go in the bars and have to go on the mic and be like, I broke my fucking self again. I would rather be out there with

the boys, you know, Great job.

Yeah, yeah. And then give you a score prediction. Never got. Was never close with any of them. Never. Don't even think I even got a result the right way around.

Awful.

So it wasn't too bad. And then obviously boot camps started off smaller. They're getting bigger now, obviously, like to the point where we have to cap them. But, yeah, it's fine now. I'm pretty comfortable with it.

Oh, nice.

But, yeah, I can understand from the owner's perspective, like, they. And this is another one of the

reasons they get nervous.

Yeah, that's what I was about to say. So, like, in the pre boot camp calls, I could see people are a little bit like, oh, shit. Because everyone's got a reactive dog. Right. So they're like, shit, what if mine's the worst? Genuinely doesn't matter if they are the worst. So I try and put the mind at ease on the pre call when they come in.

It's very unlikely they're gonna be the worst. Yeah.

When they come in, break the ice a bit. But you can see people are a little bit nervy when they first get the dog out when we do. Like Marcus S dog tiller. Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But they get. I think that's part of why it works so well, though. Cause they're actually put out of their comfort zone a little bit.

Yeah, that's true.

They get more comfortable being uncomfortable. The dog goes through it with them. Yeah.

I never even thought of that.

The whole, you know, like, do you remember that time we became exponentially closer as mates when I nearly killed us in that car? Yep. Yeah.

Jesus titty fucking Christ. What were we looking at? We were looking at a tattoo shop. Should we get joint tattoos? And we just almost fucking plowed into the back of someone, like. Oh, shit.

Yeah. Yeah. So, like, going through something stressful brings you closer together, right?

Yeah. Like the boot campers or them and the dog?

Both, I would say, because a lot of them talk to each other afterwards. And, yeah, friends keep Mates. Yeah.

It's an experience we try and create for people, I guess. Do you know what I'd like?

No.

I was thinking about this last night at 3am A boot camp concierge.

Okay.

So not quite Tony's role, but just like, they're making sure everyone's like, kosher, you know?

Yeah.

Fucking doing the coffees and, like, dabbing brows and welcoming people in initial tour.

What would you get him to wear?

Probably like a YCA tuxedo, I guess.

Yeah, I thought so. Yeah.

Yeah, we'll throw him up there. We'll do an AI concierge. I think he's got a pencil. Tash.

Yeah, I think he would have.

And his name is.

And one of those, like, haircuts are, like, plastered to the head like Hitler.

I don't know.

I don't know. Yeah, so I'm kind of picturing him, but like a good bloke.

Anti Hitler.

Yeah.

All right. If there's any blokes out there with a tiny mustache and plastered on hair or you're willing to do that, tuxedo will be provided. We're in need of a concierge to make sure our clients experience is as best as it possibly can be, I guess. Yeah.

Nice.

How about that?

It definitely is a lot about the experience and them going through it with each other and the dogs. I underestimate how much. How much that effect that would have rather than just like, okay, you're doing this wrong and you're doing that wrong. Do this instead.

Yeah. If you think about it.

Holistic.

Holistic keyword there.

Yeah.

Buzzword. Yeah, You. You probably. You make a good point. Because they've probably been ignoring, like, avoiding.

Yeah.

Walking their dog entirely or definitely in, like, public or busy times. And, you know, they might be part of the 5:00am Club.

Yep.

I'm sure a lot of them are. And then within a space of a week, they're suddenly, like, walking through parks and with a bunch of other formerly reactive dogs. Yeah.

Yeah.

Are they at Hickory's now?

Yeah, I believe so.

There you go.

Yeah.

Where's Ollie? Is Ollie still in there?

Yeah.

Why is he not at Hickory's?

Holly, he's feeding.

All right. Okay. All right.

Tony's just looking through the window, laughing. She's like, what the going on? It's safe. It's safe. What was it? You're safe. It's okay. You're not in trouble. But why did he scream? My knee. He didn't.

He was Ollie.

But then he did get back. Oh, okay. Yeah. So that's like some serious trauma there, mate.

Yeah, I know. Sorry. You okay?

No.

You always are twitchy and that. Do you hear me? Even when I'm not there.

Oh, yeah. All the time.

Oh. Oh, yeah. Every day. Remember that song I thought I could

hear you in Going fine in the background. Oh.

Oh, that's scary. Oh, Chloe, it's not sad. No, you're not. You'll be fine.

Laughing. She's laughing.

She's fine. She is laughing off camera. We've even got evidence there. Don't actually abuse our staff. Maybe her a little bit.

Yeah. Knowing.

Oh, yeah, fine. Yeah. We haven't got him today. I find it like a good icebreaker with anyone is just like really Hammer Owen.

Yeah.

I've used him as my punch bag. Like, hey, all your negative feelings, like anything you've got built up, just direct it towards cocknose over here.

Yeah.

And yeah, they seem to.

It's been working well on a Monday.

Common Enemy.

You got a quiet group. It's just like, all right, I can see I'm losing people here.

Right.

Let's just give it to him.

This guy, everyone take turns and what you like about him.

Brilliant. Like, oh, fine, this is great.

And you can't pick his whopping nose because that's too easy.

Yeah.

You know, that's not fair.

No.

So pick something else.

There's a lot of other stuff.

There's plenty to choose from.

So much.

There you go. The fact that he walks like this.

Yeah. In fact, there's a picture of him. Ding. Of the recent photo shoot, I believe,

where he's arms out here.

Yeah.

The. What's the plane that looks like that? Concord. Yeah. He's not cool enough to have the nickname Concord, is he?

He could be too foam with the schneckle.

What's the. The things, the. They fall out of the trees and then they spin when you throw them.

Oh, the little sycamore seeds.

Sycamore, is that. Can we call him sycamore seed?

Yeah. There you are. Sycamore's a big old tree though, isn't it? Is that a compliment?

Did we tell him he's pronounced his name wrong for.

Yeah, I told him a lot of times. I believe we were telling him before we even knew it as an actual fact. Yeah, we just had a good solid hungry was probably not correct.

Yeah, I'm shocked.

We were right.

Pablo's got a funny story.

He does have a funny story. Well, it's a two parter, isn't it? Because we already pre parted.

Yeah. First part in case you missed it. Throw back.

Yeah.

Turns out Pablo babysitting my dogs has been using my dogs to get ass.

Yeah.

Using Stark on his Tinder profile.

Yeah. He blasted a photo over to me one night and I said, how many? I was actually semi joking and said, how many girls have you sent that to? And he said, two. One of three. Villas of Laughing. And yet it turn turns out great success.

He's been on a date with.

Yeah, a successful date.

Suck. Successful date. And we're gonna just leave it there. Ladies and gentlemen, Susie's. Susie's old man. Laughing all the shit. Just looking. Cackling.

Yeah. So there you go. Turns out dogs are useful. I used to go out with a girl who had a white French bulldog and I once took him for a walk up in Hallsworth and it was a very, like, powerful effect. He was like, no, I don't know.

Pussy magnet. We've said worse on the podcast. Dogs are pussy magnets.

Yeah. No, I don't think so.

All right.

It's not dating advice.

We believe a podcast listener has sent Kirky a book telling him he needs to find God, which we'll bring. Come on to next episode.

Not necessarily. Fine. Well, yeah. I don't know exactly the. Yeah.

It's basically saying you need help. You need a spiritual cleanse.

What am I do. I am gonna read it.

I'll get a book. I definitely need one.

You're beyond help, mate.

Right. He's still saveable. This one's salvageable. He's fucked.

You've gone.

You've gone past the point of.

Yeah. Point of no return. No, but I will read it.

Yeah.

Nice. I definitely will.

Fair enough.

It's quite a deep book by the looks of it, but I will do it. I will read it.

Yep. We got a boot camp next week. Have we all? Is that German shepherd week? It's not still.

I know I was excited last Monday about having seven German shepherds on a boot camp shepherd. It wasn't still a decent boot camp. This week I was excited again. Wasn't. Again next week also isn't. But the week after. So the week on Monday. Right. Seven shepherds. It almost sounds like a Japanese fable, doesn't it?

Seven shepherds.

Ah, the seven shepherds.

Sounds like a Quentin Tarantino movie could do.

Yes. Yeah.

Kirky and the Seven Ships. That's like a biblical parable, I think. Well, Kirky and the Seven Shepherds.

Yeah.

So we've got a boot camp coming up with seven shepherds. What colors do we know?

I don't Actually good to have one of each. Yeah. Wood

Poen. Poen did a first podcast.

He did, yeah.

Which you might have. Yeah. If you listen to this one, it would be in the past. We've kind of recorded a few in a. Yep. Quick succession because we want to get our schedule in better, but. Yeah. How'd that go? Any good?

It was okay. Yeah.

Some feedback. If you'd like me to be replaced by Owen, just give shout. I do all. Do all things for my ego, but I'm willing to do it takes to propel us forward. Probably not that, though. Actually. That.

No, no, no.

I don't care if it was like a hundred. Yeah. No, I'm not doing it off. Tracked it. We'll put the vote there though.

Yeah. Just see.

Yeah.

Curiosity in it. Nah, I don't. Yeah. No.

Anything else? We're vloggers now.

Yeah.

You've been on a vlog yet? No. You've been on the Incognito vlog? No. Oh, you've been vlogless.

He's avoiding me.

Yeah. You were almost in my vlog, but then I was too scared to come in your room in case you were like, I don't know, jerking off. Pablo. Ing.

Yeah, I do have a small, dark room. It was even worse yesterday when the bloody power went off.

Yeah. He would have been pitch blacking, though.

It was 100% pitch black. Yeah.

Maybe we'll put a picture of Kirky's sensory room there. It's not something we would like to show off and it's a bit. What's the word?

Like rustic.

Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to.

Musty.

Musty. Yeah.

Yeah.

That's exactly what I was looking for. It is too, isn't it?

Yeah.

You and fleabag in there just must it up a couple of guys. I think it's very good. They haven't yet developed the technology to smell through. Like a zoom meeting.

Yeah.

Otherwise you. You would have lost a lot of deals through musk alone.

Okay. Yeah, fair enough. Musk, Musgrat.

Yep.

All right. Anything going on in the dog world that's interesting.

Yeah. They're all like at war with each other.

I saw a bit of this was a guy got stuck into like Bob Cabrell and that, didn't he?

Yeah.

I don't actually know what it was for.

I couldn't give less of a. I couldn't give two. They're all a bit samesy. They're all, you know, doing their thing.

Right. Yeah.

Power to them or whatever. Power to them all. I Could go off on like a serious tangent here, but I don't think anyone else really cares. I actually think it's one of like the worst attributes to be a gossipy little. Yeah, to be a little like, oh, give me the tea. Like a little biatch. All right. And so you're not gonna get it from us. I don't give a. If you give a. I'm sure there's some Ass Ass podcast there out there you can listen to instead. Yeah, a pod.

Go listen cast.

Go listen to your cast. And you can use for men and women. So.

Yeah.

All right.

Hey. Hey. We cut Bumble's nails the other day.

Yeah, I heard.

Congratulations. It's a three man job.

Yep.

Got it done though.

Don't get me started on that setup, cuz I will go off on one. I will go off on one.

Never mind the setup. We'll just.

You got the job done. The job is done. Sometimes you have to bring in who you got to bring in, right?

Sometimes you got to bring in the ring.

Open a ringer. Boot campers sound like they're back.

Are they? Yeah, sounds like.

Sound like there's laughing and giggling. Are they?

We should get one another podcast.

Who?

We should get one in.

Oh, one of the boot campers. Yeah, yeah. All right. Yeah, go on, Sue. See if any of them will come on the podcast.

Am I shy?

What do you mean you're shy? Shy Susie.

How do we do it?

Say, oh, well, firstly ask, does anyone listen to the boys podcast? If no one says yes, then just walk out there.

Yeah, fair enough.

Just walk back.

Yeah, that's a good call.

She's gone. Here we go. Now we wait in anticipation to see if anyone gives a about our podcast.

Yeah, yeah, I asked them. Actually, she just walked.

And where are we going to put said person?

I don't know. They could just kneel.

I don't know whether we can get a client just to come and kneel. That's Pablo.

That's Pablo.

We just told everyone on the podcast you got. Is he still alive? Yeah. You're on the podcast right now. Come here. Is it really? Yeah, yeah, Come around there, though. Come here.

There he is. Look, there he is.

Oh, this guy. All right, we'll be with you in one second. Just quickly, you'll have to come down a bit.

Yeah, he's.

So this is Pablo that's been used my animals.

Is that animal abuse or is it just.

No, it's maybe like exploitation. But Starkey, if he could speak, he would be fully on board.

I think he would be like, I got you.

We know he's the. Yeah. There's one thing we're sure about. He has got your back.

Yeah.

And will support you in your devious endeavors in any way, shape or form.

Okay.

Thank you, sir.

All right.

Can I have your car to get late?

Fair enough.

Fair enough.

Right, come on, mate. How's it going? Good. Where'd you come from?

From Essex.

We've got a. A geezer in there, Michael.

Okay.

Yeah, he says. And that and. And all that. He says. Well, he says them sort of stuff.

Yeah.

Who's your dog? Tell us about your dog.

Saluna.

She's a German shepherd, Husky Cross Pitbull.

Oh, nice.

Whatever.

Yeah, yeah, she's good.

Yeah, well, she's much better now.

You have a good week. How did she start Monday. How was she before the boot camp?

I guess so we couldn't. Well, like we've just taken her to the pub and sat and had lunch. Like, we've never been in a pub with her. We've been outside on like a, you know, beer garden or something like that, but she's always kicked off, so we've left.

And there's dogs are thing.

Yeah.

Dogs and people.

Yeah, yeah.

So all. All of it.

Yeah.

Monday, she was talkative.

Yeah, Talkative, Happy. Yeah.

Struggled to get to play a bit, which, you know, I've been doing a bit in the evening after this as well. The structured play that you've taught us. And she's getting it.

Oh, nice. Yeah. And how's the last couple of days been?

Yeah, intense, but good. Like, I think I've been probably more exhausted.

Yeah, we just spoke a little about that.

Yeah. Nervous when you first came.

Yeah, terrible. Especially like going into the arena bit and sort of walking your dog around because you're like, I don't want to get this wrong.

Yeah. Eyes on you and stuff.

Yeah.

I think that's done you and your dog, like, good, though, to put yourself in that.

Yeah.

Compromise situation.

Yeah. And also making me more comfortable, like, you know, correcting her behavior in front of other people and not feeling so bad about it.

Yeah.

Because actually this is normal.

Yeah.

This is what I need to do.

So. Yeah, I think it's a little process. A bit more subtle than people think as well. Yeah. It's not about Smashbang Wall up. It's just like. Yeah, come on.

So something we had before we came here, like, we'd use a slip collar before and stuff and, you know, we got as far and always correct in the lap. We Wouldn't go anywhere. And we're not sure about using the.

The prong.

Yeah, yeah.

That's a bit of a game changer for us, to be honest, because you're not even using that much pressure. She seems more comfortable. And then she would always try and pull through the slip to sort of choke herself.

It takes a friction out of the process.

Right.

There's less like attrition, I guess. Yeah. In like walking the dog and therefore like that attrition for me, it always like, compounds and you just get more pressure in the whole situation when you're in that, like, battle of wills with your dog and you see it building

in her a bit as well. And when you. If that was the only tool I've got. Are you gonna get stuck there?

Yeah,

yeah.

That's the only tool we've got. You know, we've been in some sticky situation. We're like, well, we can't get her out of this mindset.

Just.

We just go.

Which is the only thing we can do is take her away from it and not sit in that sort of feeling.

Where have you been today? Do you go around? Hey, Park.

We went round Hay park and she was really good.

Yeah.

Not like it's busy enough, but it was chucking it down, so.

Yeah.

But we did come across quite a few collies off lead at passes.

A couple of shepherds off lead just passed us. It's fine.

Straight through, no issues.

Some runners. Runners were a big one. They're a big one for me as well.

Yeah. Yeah, fair enough.

Yeah.

Who's your favorite trainer out of them all?

Oh, I don't. That's not really fair

if I'm a louder favorite. You're a lot of favorite.

Who's your favorite? Who's your least favorite?

Is Owen.

Yeah. Well, maybe he set me up this podcast.

You ever listen to this?

Is it O or O?

There you go. Easter egg for you there. O. Yeah. Apparently he's had his name.

I'll say. They've all been great.

All right.

All different bits of knowledge here and then working obviously changes trainers different day in, day out, but you don't feel you're left alone.

So beautiful.

Yeah, it's been fantastic.

Good, Nice. All right, well, I appreciate you coming on the podcast. Congratulations on your debut.

Thank you very much.

Pleasure to help you as well. And yeah, what else have they got to do today?

A bit of a clear up in there. Debrief.

Nice.

Send them away. Personalized info.

I work nice.

Off we go. Fantastic.

All right. Thank you so much.

I try not to kill your gear. Thanks very much. Really appreciate it.

So there you go.

That was good. It was almost like a line to a post match interview.

Let's do it.

Yeah, we should.

We should do it more.

Let's do that more.

Let's do it more. Couldn't do that with the old mics.

It'd be awful.

It'd be just a technological pause.

Is in the podcast.

Yeah. Friday. Yeah. Wolf start making Friday afternoons. I usually try and get to Hickory's just for the food mainly.

You're webbing it up today though, aren't you?

Yeah. Multiple webinars today.

Yeah.

Did one on puppies. We'll throw the link in the description. This link. This description will have more links than Pablo has women.

Wow.

Which is a lot worse these days.

Thanks to Stuck.

Thanks to Starkey. He's available for hire if you want to come and get a picky with him. Turns out I can do wonderful things for you and your personal development.

Yeah, you can come get a picture with paps anytime you to want.

What are you doing? I like this more immersive podcast experience to you. Instead of locking ourselves away, we get to be. Yeah, we just like. Yeah, yeah, fair enough.

I think we should definitely make it a feature. Yeah. The post match interview. Definitely. Yeah. So how was your team's performance today? What was the score around Rounday Lake?

Yeah, nice.

Ten two.

Saw eight dogs kicked off at one but overall.

But that was better than being 100 nil before. Yeah.

Better than depression.

Yeah.

No, you're right. I think people go away like, oh shit, I can. Like very least they're like, I can do this.

Yeah.

I believe actually it can be done.

100.

I think that's a lot of the untold things you need about the confidence, the belief it can be done. The anything else.

Confidence and belief and just I suppose how basic it can be.

Our is not complicated. No.

Gives him. Give some people some nice concise, basic figurative tools.

Nice, mate. Yeah, nice. That's what it's all about as well. Because of any. We've said this in the past, but no dog, any dog training method is only worth like its application.

Yeah, yeah, good way of putting it. Incredibly good way of putting.

There you go. He's all right, isn't he? There you go.

Isn't he this lad?

Yeah. That's how you measure it.

Right. Yeah.

Because if you could do complicated but yeah, if someone can't do it.

Yeah. I think a lot of the time people can't see the wood for the Trees a bit. Because there's so much shit thrown at you. Just whittle it down. So we just got a couple of trees, couple of bits of wood, and we just use those two bits of fucking wood really well.

Nice, mate. Do we rub them together to make a fire?

You could.

Does that fit the metaphor?

I don't think it does, but let's go with it.

Yeah. I went to real rugby on Wednesday night.

Did you?

Were you ready to move on with the conversation? Yeah.

Because we were talking about dogs now. Yeah. And there was a good bit of actual information there.

There you go. It's not often, but when it comes it's good. Need we say much more else?

Huh? Go. And then you went to real rugby. So you got that funny bit of tag stuff. You've been. Yeah.

Which. Yeah. Which, you know, let that get stuck into me. And he says, how's walking old man disabled rugby going?

It's kind of fair.

Yeah.

Yeah. But you've up your game, went to

real rugby and it's good.

And you've got a funny story too.

I don't know.

You have to. It's the whole point, isn't it? It's a good one.

It's David Brent esque on my behalf without like. I was forced to be in a David French position.

Force. Brentism. Yeah. But I think that's okay.

But what if the rugby boys, which I doubt they will end up listening to this podcast and I get bullied even more. That would be funny every time I get bullied. I would never allow to be bullied.

Right, come on.

So I go to rugby and listen, let me caveat this. I've not played anywhere near the standard as my co host here, but I've played a bit. I've done a bit.

I think you played down a bit. You played to a damn good standard.

Yeah, but I'm sitting next to a bloke that has five grand final rings and one in coaching. Anyway, anyway, I spent a long period of time very invested in like in that particular sport.

Right.

I am actually a qualified level two coach as well, for the record.

And this makes sense with the story.

Yeah, yeah. And I've been coaching people doing this for a long time so can teach things. So I rock up to rugby and we're throwing the ball around a bit

just in terms of what you're wearing. I won the whole. I wanted this framed. Right.

I was wearing my. Well, obviously like rugby boots.

What color are your boots?

Black. They're not white.

All right.

I thought they were Getting some white.

I thought you might be fat wearing white boots, though. You know, I wore white boots my whole career.

Did you? Pretty much. Yeah.

Yeah.

Faster in white boots. Because that is factual.

It's just science fact. I don't know. But it's inexplicable. I don't know.

But I'm gonna get some white ones. Alaudra.

With the little socky bits that you can get on them these days.

Yeah, yeah. So my black ones do have them.

Okay.

Anyway, so I go to rugby and throwing the ball about the bit and they're like, oh, where have you played? And then I'm like, oh, you know, here, there and everywhere. Which is true. And then we get into drills and stuff and they got this rugby union kid and he's not tackled, like rugby league tackling, as you know.

Well, he probably hasn't tackled.

Yeah, well, yeah, that is true. Yeah, probably not tackle. He's just like, watch the ball. Go into touch and done some lineups and scrums. So we're. We. We're doing a tackle drill and then the guy, the coach is like, oh, yeah, like you've played there, you know what you're doing. Go and teach him how to tackle. So I teach him how to tackle

the wing sort of thing. Yeah, you get him into that big wing of yours, J Rod. Fugest mind.

Hey, I'm the oldest in the team by one dude. He's like 50 something, so I'm good for a while. Literally the oldest in the team. And I was the oldest in the team. The old guy was late. No offense, old guy. The old guy was late.

He was probably trying to put his boots on.

Yeah, he's coming in and he's in the frame. He's just taking a while to get there. And I'm like, oh, I don't feel so bad now. Turns out there's still. I got some legs left.

Yeah, nice.

Anyway, so I'm helping this younger lad who's. Who's played rugby union before. And obviously the tackle tech is different. I'm going through the tackle tech and the coach is there and he went. And he walks along and he goes, oh, interesting. And then he's like, lads, stop what you're doing. Come and listen to Jacob. I ended up coaching the fucking half the session. I didn't mind it. Listen, boys, come here, come here.

I've got this, I've got this.

Do you mind? Do you mind if I impose you, sir? All right, shut the fuck up for a second. So that happened.

I kind of wish it wasn't true. And what actually happened was you were like, listen, I've got this. He was trying to teach. And you're like, no, no, no, no.

You'll never know.

Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty. It was funny enough without you having to fabricate those. Yeah.

And that was it. And the next minute, I'm doing tackle tech drills and that. I'm a fullback and I tackled anyone

in my life once, I had to think about tackling a guy.

Unfortunately, he fell over, so. Oh, my God. Two on one. I could have done it. Yeah. Come on. I said. I said go. Right.

Oh, fuck.

But it was enjoyable, though.

Yeah, but that's not.

No,

that's not all of the. All of the evenings shenanigans.

I don't get embarrassed often.

Should we wait this for a different cast?

Yeah, we might have to.

We might have to.

I must have gone red. It is funny, though. And for the record, when I do tell it, next time, it is true. It was said. Someone said them words.

I believe it because I know the culture and it's the sort of thing that would get said.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. There you go.

How long?

We've done Seuss done. How long? What?

36. Oh, nice. Oh, it's a little bit fast.

What the fuck does that mean?

Yeah, doesn't mean anything.

No.

If anything, they contradict each other.

They're completely opposites. That's paradoxical.

We've got lemonade in the fridge now.

Yeah, the fridge is looking fucking packed. And if you look behind that corner, there's some chalky milk. Choco Mel.

Oh, choco milk. That brings back great memories.

Yeah. Oh, she's off to go get some. Maybe. Oh, no, she's taking pictures for the poppy pink.

Although I could. I would do one.

Could have one. Yeah.

Yeah.

All right, put us down for two chalky mouse suits.

Yeah.

Anything else we need to discuss and update people on that they may or may not care about? Done. The free community. We've done new fresh chalky mouth. We've done the fat. We're vloggers now.

Yeah. I think I've still got some spots left on the train development program.

Oh, nice. There you go.

Perfect plug.

This is the fifth link of the

description for the next cohort.

When does it start, mate? That's what people.

It could be like this. There's a test. That's a test. I'm terrible with days. I feel like 16th of March. Ish.

Could we have that verified? Maybe Suze, someone could maybe ask One of the people who. More organized ladies. So good. Sponsor us

like a.

Like a. Just a free case every month, year.

Yeah.

Come on, chocolate mouth. Eight people listen to this podcast. Yeah. 16th.

Yeah.

Of what? Of March.

I've changed.

16th of March is the next cohort starting. Yeah.

Yep.

So our dog trainer development program is for those that haven't yet. You know, they want to develop their skill set, work with Ian Kirk. But most importantly. Let me try and pitch it here. Most importantly, learn how to relay complex topics to regular, everyday people. Which is your role as a dog trainer.

Yeah. Topics and coaching.

Yes, very much so.

It's very vocational to circle back to

what we said earlier, which was something like a method is only good as its application. We know some great dog trainers out there. Theoretical knowledge and even practical skill set. Very good. But if you're not able to relay it, you ain't worth shit, dog.

Got him. Got him. There you go. There you have it.

So if you'd like to learn how to help people and dogs without the wiffle. Waffle. Waffle shite like you. I presume, knowing you, mate, you'll substantiate that with. With some waffle.

Oh, yeah. I mean, if waffles required, I'll.

Yeah, waffle with the best of us.

Yeah. Maybe not with Owen, but, like, I'll have a good go. Okay. I'll try my best. But yeah, there's. There's obviously we do cover topics like. Okay. In operant condition, all that kind of stuff, but it's very much like. Yeah, very much. Kind of like with a vocational view. Because you could literally go. You could literally go and grab a book and just read it.

But yeah, we've got loads of books over there.

We've got loads.

You ain't training a fucking. You ain't training shit after reading those books. No, sorry. Except for our puppy book link in the description. Yeah, that one's different.

Another link, Abraham Lincoln.

Nice, mate. Oh, it's nice.

Yeah.

This podcast can be called the one with all the links in the description. Yeah. Only there's.

None of them are missing. They're all most definitely there.

How many links can we include? Yeah, yeah, fair enough. Yeah, yeah, we'll put a link to Choco Mouth, like the Amazon link to Choco Mel. Stick that in there. Great. And then next podcast, podcast, you can crack one open with us.

That'd be amazing.

The next podcast, when it comes out, we promise. Well, don't forget YouTube.

All right.

We're gonna bring Choco Mel.

Okay.

And what you're gonna do is order the Choco Mel from the link in the description. They don't sponsor us. However, when you listen to this and watch this of us, you're gonna take a selfie. If you and your Choco Mel attack us on Instagram and we'll know who the diehards are. And if you do that, that we'll send you a T shirt. How about that?

Yeah. Right. Fuck it.

But not too many of you. We'll send the first ten T shirts out.

That's a good idea. Yeah. Cap it.

Yeah. Because you can have a million people doing it, obviously, with all the freaking viewership.

You give 2 to 3 million people and you can only do it once.

Yeah.

You can't put a wig on and then take a selfie with fake tan and shit.

We'll see ya. We'll see you. So.

Yeah. Yeah.

The one with all the links leads into the Choco Mel episode. Which things into. Why the.

Yeah.

Generate some curiosity perhaps.

Yeah. And if you. I don't know, if you're lactose intolerant, just like hold an unopened one and then gift it to someone else. Yeah.

Or you could be a vegan and get your own vegan version.

Can you. Is there a vegan version?

No. I don't know. But maybe Choco Margan.

And there you are. There you are then.

Oh, my God. Have you finished yours?

Yeah, I don't mess up.

You just chin it off.

I think I prefer.

How are you meant to enjoy it when you just.

Oh, no, I just enjoy it quicker with intensity.

Anyway, don't feel like we got much done this episode.

No, there was some gold in there,

like sandwich showing up.

There was a sandwich of gold in there.

Yeah, there was. There was a little nuggie.

Even I was impressed with what we said.

Yeah.

Most of the time. Not.

No, probably not. So we'll wrap it up there. Pleasure to have you, as always. Go and check out one of the 400 links in the description. Any other links we can have? Probably. Yeah, we'll add all our links. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. We'll put it on my business.

My mentorship. You want to join my business mentorship?

Yeah, yeah.

That link's in there too. All right, feel free to take a look at all the links.

And there you go.

And we'll see you next time for a nice cold chocolate Mel. Say bye, Ian.

Bye, Ian.