EP 82: Will Saying "No" Ruin Your Relationship?
6 Mar 2026 · 39 min
Ian and guests debate whether saying "no" to dogs damages your relationship with them. A firm, contingent correction can actually strengthen respect, but harsh or emotional corrections erode trust. The key is balance: clear boundaries paired with consistent reinforcement.
Chapters
Shoeless on today's podcast.
Is that because you can't afford shoes now, or is it because you need a shoe sponsor?
Hmm, could do with a shoe sponsor. Anyone fancies it?
You enjoy a set of Salomons, don't you?
Yeah, I was counting the other day, I have like double-digit pairs of Salomons.
Yeah, Salomon Grundy.
But they're not even— sorry, sorry everyone.
Did you just burp?
Yeah, just come out very nonchalantly.
Owen burped on his singular—
The audacity of that guy to come on his first podcast and just start ripping out burps.
Turns out it's his last.
We're right not to like him.
Turns out this is his last podcast.
Yeah, first and last podcast. If you're gonna come on the pod, let's let one fucking absolutely rip. It's quite sad you can't give your dog choccy. Because of— I like giving Ranger almost a piece of everything I eat. Yeah, but he doesn't know why he doesn't get some choccy. No, it's only to protect him. Yeah, and you'll never know. No, I can't ever tell him.
Like, it's going to be negative punishment.
Yeah, I can't ever tell you.
Yeah, and then just withholding.
I know, I know. I can't tell you why you can't have this.
Yeah, it's a weird one with chocolate though, isn't it? Because some dogs can consume it and some dogs can't, and— but you don't know which ones are which, so you're best off doing it.
Exactly. Yeah, yeah.
Let me tell you about, um, when one of my mates moved into my house, left all his belongings in the kitchen in cardboard boxes, and I was like, mate, there's no consumable gear in there, is there? And he was like, no, no, no, no, no, absolutely not, nothing, nothing. And I was like, okay, fine. We went out, came back, ready to unpack. Dog had been through the boxes. 3 boxes of dark— 3 bars of dark chocolate should be in.
Fine though, absolutely fine.
Yeah, she was a different gravy though, that girl. Moles.
Yeah, this isn't a saying. Give you—
no, hell no. Yeah, don't do it.
Yeah, sure, likely they'd be fine. Yeah, but don't, don't. But you'd probably be fine if you did, but definitely don't.
Definitely don't.
But if you did, they'd probably be okay. Yeah, because apparently it's the cocoa as opposed to bromine in the cocoa.
I think—
there you are.
I don't know, that might not be true either.
I might have just made that up.
I just like saying words.
Yeah. So maybe Milky Bar, you'd probably be likely fine. Yeah, in fact, you'd definitely be— I am committing to saying, yeah, your dog can have Milky Ways.
Do they still make Caramac?
Oh yeah, it's good, isn't it?
You think that'd be okay?
Yeah, because that's not— that's like a goldeny color.
Yeah, yeah, it's like— this is like a really sad note. A few days before Nerfy passed, when he had real aggressive cancer. I was just feeding him everything.
Oh nice.
I was sat on the bed just like, one scoop of ice cream for him, one for me, another one for me, half of one for him, two for me. I like ice cream.
Yeah, fair enough. Yeah, Darla has a Solero. Well, like the end of my Solero most nights.
Most nights.
Most nights I go over to the freezer, open it, and she's like, runs to the sofa where I'm gonna sit and then just sits and stares at the spot I'm not even in yet.
Yeah, fair enough.
Waiting for the Solero. And then she just has the last little like shaft of it right there. I just take off and then she just— and then just has it.
You stop licking on your shaft and you give it— you give it up.
I give it up.
Yeah, fair enough.
And then, yeah, so she has a Solero most nights.
That is nice.
Um, like I said, Ranger has most of Like, not most of what I eat, but if it's not going to kill him, he has some.
Fair enough. Yeah.
Yes. And I get a lot out of it. I get a lot out of it. Which leads us on to today's podcast topic. Will giving your dog a bit of heat ruin your relationship? No. We can move on. Done.
Yeah. But it's a thing that comes up a lot of the time. Obviously, when you're teaching people to contingently use aversives, they do have concerns about it, and I kind of get where they're coming from.
Yep.
But if you've had dogs, if you have multiple dogs, if you work with multiple thousands of dogs over a lifetime, or even a week here, yeah, to be honest, there's a few right there now. To be honest, there's 8 German Shepherds in there right now.
Yeah, there's 8 GSDs in the ring.
I think you'll actually only see your relationship grow because it's mutually, um, respectful, right? One of the people that said this in the little lecture room, I saw them take the dog for a toilet lap maybe 5 minutes after we'd had the conversation. And the dog was walking around the field. I say walking around, it was bouncing on its back feet, pecking the guy in the face.
What dog was it?
It was a shepherd.
Oh, was it? Range shepherd. Don't leave, come back.
Come back.
People are— we're getting a new floor today, which we'll throw a picture up here, 'cause by the time this comes out, it'll be done.
Oh, it's looking good.
It's herringbone. Come here, come on. He's like, yeah, fucking all right then.
Fair enough, fair enough, fair enough.
Well, well, we can't really—
yeah, these tips out as well.
As you were. Yeah, it's slightly inappropriate to get your tip out, sir. You want to lie down there?
Can you lie down there?
Can you do a down?
He's got a couple of remotes there.
That's why he's not lying down. And he's erect. Lay down.
Yeah.
And down. Any good?
No, no, he's thinking. He's coming. He's— there it is.
Oh, there you are, ladies and gentlemen. Dog training. That is cute. That is single-handedly my favorite thing on the planet, is when that dog puts his chin on me.
Oh nice.
On my leg, on my— just the chin on the shin. It slaps, bruv. It slaps. There is nothing better. Than—
I like it.
It's just— yeah, it's just trust. Yeah, I don't know what it is. Yeah, it's just nice though. None of the others really do it. No, none of the others do it.
I thought I spoke about him in there a moment ago, but Shepard was headbutting the fuck out of, uh— yeah, I'm not entirely sure that constitutes— that'd be like letting your kid just fucking—
in it, in it.
'Yeah, it's okay. I don't want to tell him you can't do that because it might ruin my relationship.' What?
I think the relationship is already fuck you. Yeah, to be honest. You know what I mean?
I know exactly what you mean.
But you raise a good point. You like watch some human-dog dynamic and you're like, if that dog could speak right now, you'd be disgusted with what he's saying to you.
Yeah, I really would.
Yeah, you little bitch. What the fuck are you gonna do? It's like, yeah, that's a healthy relationship.
Yeah.
It goes both ways, bruv, you know what I mean? It goes both ways.
It does.
It needs to be synopraxic, as one Ian might say. So yeah, a lot of the time, like, if you do nothing good with your dog and then you just start fucking waiting on him for no reason, obviously that's not gonna do anything good. But if, like, you are the bringer of all things good and you have a nice and healthy relationship and your dog is being a genuine knob, which they can be knobs, by the way, and you say, that's okay to say, and that's fine. And you say, 'Stop being a knob,' then that will probably take you towards a better relationship as opposed to further away.
All my dogs are massive knobs, but I love them for it. Yeah, because there's a part of that. And then this is probably another point that they make— they don't want the dog to lose their character.
Yeah.
Has he lost his character?
No.
Starky lost his character.
No, it's probably too much character, if I'm honest. I would lose him to just a smidge less. It would be good. I'll throw a good video up here of Starkey's character, by the way. There it is. I took it this morning.
And, uh, nice.
Yeah.
Has Bumble lost his character?
No.
Has the bag lost his character? No, no, no, they haven't. But they've got some, like, rules, right?
But then I'm like, yeah, but you kind of want to see less of that particular character because his character is that he's a fucking dick.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Like, we're not gonna zap all life out of the dog.
No.
But like, he is a knob. I've sat in consults with people in day, and one pointer like really sticks out. He's like pulling on their clothes, he's like trying to open the treat pouch, he's like aggressively barking in their face. And I'm like, this dog needs to be told no.
I know who you're talking about.
And then they're like, I don't want him to lose his character though. And I'm like, but his character is fucking knobhead. He's definition of knobhead. If you open the dictionary, you look up K and then N and then Obed, there's a picture of that dog next to it.
There he is, there's the dog I did a consult with.
So maybe like we, we might want to see less of that character, but we're not going to zap the life out of the dog.
Yeah, I mean, you look like you're about to start pouring. If anything as well, like I don't have for one minute believed that those people were happy with that. So then when they do stop it, they're probably gonna love him more.
Yeah, like a good relationship isn't built out of resentment.
No. Yeah, like, I wish you'd leave me alone.
Also, another case was a vet nurse who, like, um, again, no need to name names, but this was years ago. A vet nurse who, like, had a really nice, beautiful German Shepherd, and the German Shepherd was just obnoxious. It just barked at her. It just demand barked all the time. It just hated not getting its own way.
Yeah.
And I was like, we need to stop this. But she had a mental indoctrination— indoctrinated block Because coming from the veterinary field, it so happened that it could only ever be done force-free, apparently.
What the fuck is that?
Yeah, that's a bit much, isn't it? Is anyone in there with that dog? Is he just on his own? Is one of our trainers dealing with that?
And train some dogs in a second. Shit.
Uh, there's a mirror there. Look, I kind of half see what's going on. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think like the other part of the problem as well is I think what A lot of it happens through, like, more like through venting and frustration. Actually spoke about this a second ago to the boot campers, but like, range, there it is. If you let it ride and you let it ride and you let it ride and you let it ride, at some point you're going to crack, and your consequence is probably going to be way above and beyond what it should be for whatever the dog's just done. Those are gonna be like, what the fuck? Yeah, because then it's sort of non-contingent or it's way out Proportionate, at least.
Got a real-life example of this.
That's probably harmful. You having a bad day at work, going home, booting the crap out of your dog and venting, that's not the same thing. Like, it's totally different to like a nice controlled, hey, Fleabag, don't chase bulls because you'll get shot.
Yes, or headbutted.
He probably enjoyed that part of it. Equally, something not good is going to come out of that. Don't do it. And then you can be off the lead with your mates. Like, totally different, isn't it?
Yeah.
I like watching bullfighting videos, not 'cause I like to see bulls get hurt. I just like it when the pointy— it goes up the Spanish guy's asshole. And I think, "You deserve that." Specifically the asshole? Literally specifically the asshole, 'cause I think there's nothing more that would be more— Not only is it emasculating, it's also probably fairly painful.
How'd it make any feel?
Do you reckon it's nice for just a moment?
Just as there is a split second in there where you're like, oh, actually, that's not too bad.
Just about there.
No more.
No, I'm out. I'm out.
Yeah, you went too far there, big Toro.
El Toro.
You just went too far, man.
El no more, vámonos. Yeah, real-life case point example with your— the example of the case point you gave.
Mm-hmm.
I was taking— took Sparkles the other day to Ripley Castle, which I think— oh yeah, Ripon Castle.
Oh no, I think you're right with Ripley. I think there's an ice cream place there, isn't it?
Yeah, that's it. Yeah, ice cream. It's for sale, by the way. Should we buy it?
Have we got any spare?
No.
Should we take donations if we— yeah, we'll buy an ice cream place. Yeah, we'll make it dog-friendly.
No, the castle's for sale. Oh yeah, 7.5 mil though. Oh, Rage, you can't just leave a podcast mid-podcast. You're either in or you're out.
Yeah, this is a cast, man.
Come on, it's a cast.
You can join the cast.
Come on, good boy.
There you go.
Do you want to go back?
I do feel like he needs something a little bit more comfortable.
Yeah, could we get, could we get one of the help tips beds for Rage? I'm joking, I'm joking.
Yes, you're supposed to click.
Hey, right, we're gonna get you a bed and then you want to just park up on Dad here for a sec. Come here.
Agility training. There you go. Thank you. Okay, is it bad on this?
Super.
All right, Fabs.
Fabs is there.
Look, tin of Fanta in that.
Tin of Fanta.
Tin, that's what they used to call it. Yeah, the old tin tin. I believe now it's aluminum.
Thanks.
Yeah, that'll do, won't it?
Yeah, you're gonna go on there, Sunshine. There you are, on there. Good boy.
Oh, that was a good dive.
Lay down then, lay down. You got some big fans, Rach. You always get a little fucking shout out. That's cool.
That's cute. Is he in the shot there? You have to tell him in the shot. Just cut me out of it and stick it on him. It's fine.
Yeah, right. So, live case point example. I was at Ripley Castle having ice cream with sparkles. I'll throw a video in here. Um, yeah, I had my Matter glasses on.
Oh, swanky.
Yeah.
Yeah, so there's this guy like getting dragged all over by a golden retriever, and, uh, yeah, I watched the guy from like the car.
It wasn't Rusty's.
No, maybe it was. Yeah, maybe it was Rusty. Maybe that's why Rusty's here right now. And the dog's like pulling along, and he's like there, and then out of nowhere, the guy just gets fed the fuck up and just fucking absolutely goes sick on this dog. Like, sick. Like, doesn't fucking wail on him or beat the dog or anything. He's just like For fuck's sake. Yeah, literally like fucking like having like grabs him by the face and he's like, why do you always do this? You're always like, I know this way, can't take you anywhere. This is why you don't come out.
And the dog's like, what the fuck?
Yeah, what the fuck are you on about? I might have caught it on the glasses. I hope to God I did. He's like screaming in the dog's face and like yanking on his fucking harness. And I'm like, fair enough, like you must like— it must be like really annoying to be fair. Yeah, but um Yeah, but that's like your example, and it just— yeah, about, you know, a couple of weeks back, just put the dog on a slip and say, hey, like, we're not gonna deal with that. Yeah, and then you can come with us and then we can go get ice cream together. Good boys get ice cream and they enjoy it too. Yeah, yeah.
To be fair, we probably don't— I mean, like, owners might listen to this. I don't know who listens to this, but dog trainers mainly, apparently. Okay, so it's probably not really any use to them because I can only imagine not many force-free folk listen.
Surprisingly, I don't. Yeah, I wouldn't have thought so. Mr. George, good to have you.
Doubt you are, but it might help with some of the, um, conversations they have with clients about why.
Yeah, you know, they can say your dog's a massive asshole and you better wind his neck in.
Yeah, look, no pain in the dictionary.
Yeah, look, there he is, there he is.
We'll get it up there. Look, I have a Polaroid camera on every assessment. Just snap it, stick it in the dictionary and go, look, let me just—
2 seconds.
Ah, this explains it.
No, but at the same time, this might be controversial, but I don't have good relationships with pussyos. Like, if someone is a wet ass, I don't respect you and we're not going to be friends.
Yeah, sorry, not you, it's just that there's—
we like you.
I guess we're saying it on a podcast, to be fair.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And one person here listens to it as well.
A single person.
At least one chap.
Fair play. There's one person. You know what I mean though? Oh yeah. You ever met like a spineless spaghetti ass fucking pussy ass bitch and you're just like, we can't be mates because if like if there was a fight to break out, we would lose the fight if I just— if I, if I make you my friend. Do you know what I mean?
Yeah. I know.
Yeah, you know exactly what I mean, don't you? If like we walk down a dark alleyway together, the responsibility of protecting thyself is on very much my non-pussy aspect versus you.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
And like conversely, in a romantic relationship too, like there's no fun in a chick that just lets you do whatever the fuck you want. No, sometimes you need reined in, and Mae's quite good at reining me in and like calling me out.
You might say like an expert, right?
Well, yeah, yeah, you might say she's pretty good at it, you know what I mean?
It would be—
yeah, yeah, no, I do agree. I do agree.
Rigidity. You need the side of the relationship in order for it to stand tall as a cardboard house.
Mutual respect.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, nice.
And again, if someone's a pussy-ass bitch if you take them— I genuinely think there's something primal about it, not only a human context but on a canine context too. Like, I don't want people that are weak links in our tribe.
Yeah, fair enough.
Yeah, because if the waste removal guy decides, you know, he doesn't want to remove waste and gets all fucking fisty-cuffy, it's all in. Yeah, there's some pussy-ass bitches around here, mate, that fucking, you know, you know what I mean?
That's why we have the two-way radios, just in case. Yeah, just in case the waste removal guy doesn't want to do his job.
Yeah, no, but I think there's actually a case in point there where dogs are hyper defensive because they live with people that have like been spineless their whole life and not like said, hey, you're not allowed to do that, so therefore you are a weak person. So therefore when a threat comes along, I have to deal with it because you're a pussy-ass bitch. Yeah, you're not gonna do anything. I have witnessed you do nothing. I punch you in the face on a daily basis. You do nothing about it. When this thing comes along—
I would have kicked my own ass by now.
It's going to whoop your fucking ass. And no, I'm going to have to deal with that. Do you know why? Because we fight all the time and I win. So easily. So easy. You don't even fight back, you wet ass.
There's something in there. We joke, but I think there's a bit of substance in there somewhere, yeah.
I've been fucking beating you up since I was 8 weeks old. 8 years old, I was that big and I used to bite you. Do you know what you did? You gave me a fucking toy, you pussy. Now look, there's a German Shepherd, I have to fight it because you're a bitch. It's kind of true.
It is true.
I bit you at 8 and you said ouchie. What the fuck do you want me to do, Ian? I'm gonna have to fucking deal with this shit, Ian. You're like 10 times my size, and I'll be fucking you up. I'm the tough one here, Ian.
I don't even want to be.
I don't want to be. Ian, I'm a sproodle. I'm a fucking sproodle, Ian.
I'm crying. Oh, that's my favourite bit of any podcast ever, because it's just true.
Yeah, it is, isn't it?
It is true.
Oh, convince me otherwise. Ain't not having it.
I'm a goddamn cavapoo. Yeah, I have had you there for as long as I can fucking remember.
Could be too close to the bone, but I am a show line spaniel. I am a princess. Yeah, that will kick your ass.
I whipped all y'all. You think I haven't got it in me? I think I do. Oh, that's funny. Yeah, no, it's funny because there's a lot of truth in it too.
He's a great looking dog, isn't he?
Yeah, he's fucking stacked.
Yeah, he is.
He is absolutely jacked. He's been on the old Peptads. Is he thinking about absolutely mashing that guy up right now?
Yeah, yeah, he is, isn't he? He stopped though. He did stop him. If someone's getting mashed up, we're not allowed to leave the cast, so you run your own.
Sorry, we have a duty to this cast, and it's Fridays at 2 PM.
I see.
It doesn't matter, someone's getting mauled, you know. It doesn't matter if you need reconstructive surgery, we have a duty to this podcast. We didn't let Ranger leave.
Very specific, very hypocritical if we just got up and left, wouldn't it?
Doesn't matter what for.
No, it doesn't.
All right, what else? Anything?
Good one. Yeah, I think there's actually been something of value in this I found it hilarious. So someone else who's also odd might also laugh at some point in it.
Maybe.
And get something out of it.
Yeah, no, it was, yeah, alright.
Hit us up if you disagree with the concept of if you're a pussy ass bitch.
Well, just debate the concept of the pussy ass bitch.
And I will happily reply with many laughing faces. Yeah, you think? I'll even invite you to my house and I will laugh in your face if you want me to.
Yeah.
Fair enough.
Yeah, nice.
What else has been going on this weekend?
Yeah, there's some stuff going on. Lots of webinars. We're going to do lots of lives, aren't we?
Yep.
I just recorded 4 new modules. 4 new— no, a new module, but 4 new lessons on like how to use AI to help you with your business, I guess.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So yeah, I swindled you.
Ah, what are you licking? Hey, don't lick it.
Shinbone.
No, your shins. Licky shins.
Brush. Yeah, there was the record number of shepherds on a boot camp this week. 7.5.
7.5 shepherds, which you could probably be safe enough to round up. Any crazy crossbreeds in there? Because they'll have some shepherd in too, to be fair.
Uh, no, the 0.5. She is a Shepherd Malamute.
Who listens to the podcast? Is it a Dalmatian's dad? I don't know.
Uh, no, I thought it might have been him.
All right, go fuck yourself then, Steve.
It is— I don't know if it's Rusty or Dusty, the retriever. His dad CJ, I believe, is— it could be, could be his name. I'm not sure. I might have completely made that up.
He wasn't born CJ.
I got one guy's name, Calvin Jones.
Yeah, it could be. Could be. Yeah, what are you guessing? Craig Jones? No, I'm going for Calvin Jenison.
Calvin?
Calvin Jenison. That's got to be his name.
Yeah.
What about you? I don't know.
CJ for me is always the Baywatch chick. No, isn't— wasn't CJ Pamela Anderson's character on Baywatch? I could be totally wrong.
I'm far too young.
We have to fact-check it. Yeah, there's been a movie with The Rock in with, with, um, a decent sort playing CJ too.
Oh, okay. Yeah, we've got, um I don't know why.
Oh, this guy's cool.
Is he? What is he?
Staffy Frenchie. And he started the week mad as a fucking box of frogs.
You can see Range right now as an example, and he's not trying to fucking—
no, you can imagine what kind of noises he makes too. Yeah, he's got his eye on him. He's like, mate, if you want, if you want a lesson in how to use a purse I got you, I got you covered. I got you, I got this.
Where is, where is everyone? Where's Alicia and Simo and Alex and all that?
I believe like back end of the group camp, if there's things people want to specify.
It's called a group camp now.
Is that what I said? Back end of the week, we get into the specific things that people might need to address.
Oh, more nuanced stuff.
Yeah, little stuff.
If the holistic approach hasn't worked, just—
well, yeah, you—
or if the big stuff is kind of resolved, cross the T's and dot the I's. Yeah, yeah, nice. That sounds gangster. Yeah, we got a dog called Sugar Plum on the old boot camp, haven't we?
Yeah, it's pretty crazy.
Sugar Plum's in the dictionary is next to asshole.
Yeah, well, was it? Huge asshole.
Like, it barked at nothing.
Yeah, nothing. And everything.
Yeah, yeah, and everything. So it did bark a lot, but we weren't sure what it could be even barking at. It's almost just like it liked the sound of his own voice. Yeah, but she was amazing. Thing about Sugar Plum is it has a sibling called Puddle Duck.
Yeah, which is amazing.
Which is the two greatest dog names I think I've ever heard. Yeah, Sugar Plum and Puddle Duck. Which, more amazing than that, the owner's got one Dalmatian and then decided to get another one. Yeah. Because they're shit. And, oh yeah, but look at Sugar Plum, for example, at the beginning of the week.
Yeah, true. Yeah, yeah, no, evidence suggests they do do that cute thing though, you know, like rise of that like little smile thing.
Yeah, they do do that. Yeah, that's quite cute. Ranger sometimes does that. Yeah, yeah, I'm just biased.
My first ride did that all the time.
Yeah, yeah, I saw a dog trainer once who was like, oh no, that means it wants to fuck you up. And I was like, I don't think so.
I never got fucked up by that dog, so—
No, I'm not gonna get fucked up by Rach.
Although she maybe—
just because I'm not a pussy bitch though.
So although she did fuck up some other people, a couple of dudes, but never was she doing that just prior.
Was she smiling? No. Okay, that would have been it then. Yeah, you should have read that. Yeah, you should have read that. Mouth closed, not good. Smiling, you're good. Yeah, sorry, Royal Mail. Any other, you know, um, interesting dogs? 7 and a half Shepherds, that's a decent looking—
you know, the interesting thing of it was none of the Shepherds were the worst dogs on the camp. No, the Dalmatian and the Staffy and the Staffy and the Staffy Frenchie, all three of those were pretty loose. Yeah, yeah, but they're all doing pretty good now, to be fair to them.
Nice. Have they been to the pub yet today?
Yeah, they have. Yeah, team's done a good job, still got 100% there.
Nice.
Who's our podcast listener then? Rusty, Calvin Johnson. Yeah, nice. CJ up there. Is everyone up there? People been listening to us?
I hope not.
Oh, fuck.
No one's there.
Jesus Christ.
No, I don't think we did though.
No, we can't edit real life, you see.
No, I can't take it back.
Anything else?
I don't think so.
Yeah, go grab CJ Soos.
We're gonna grab a retriever.
It's then a—
I believe big beard, like strong beard, a beard most men would be envious of except canine Optima. Yeah, he's probably got him covered, to be fair.
He's what?
He's probably got him covered. His beard is like— you can't— whether you think he's a good trainer or a poor trainer or a shit guy or a good guy, funny guy or not funny guy, short guy or tall guy, whatever you say about him. Glorious beard.
Yeah, he may be short, but he has a phenomenal beard.
A beard that even Ben Grizzly Adams himself would be envious of.
Who? A beard that even Longbeard Johnson would— I ain't heard that name in years, man. Longbeard Johnson. Shit, am I gonna have to get on my knees again?
No, you like that bit.
All right, Pablo has knee pads. Does he? Yeah, you can only—
because he spends so much time on his knees.
Correct, correct.
And you can only assume he's not often been knighted.
Not more than once anyway.
It's unlikely. I think that's a one-time deal if it happens at all.
Yeah, yeah, I mean, it could have, but yeah, would you go as far as buying knee pads just for that one time? Probably not.
Been knighted. I really don't want to be down there too long, feel uncomfortable, have to stand up. That'd be weird. So I'm going to pad up. Yeah, hunker down and step on in.
There we are, we've got— we found CJ. You can sit in my chair.
Yeah, yeah, thanks, thanks.
That was Chris. I said it was Calvin Jenison. Ah, it's Chris James, ladies and gentlemen. Come on, Chris, sit down.
Is it Rusty or Dusty? Dusty. Dusty, but often called Rusty. Yeah, just by chance. Owen started calling him Rusty and then it got in my head and I started calling him Rusty and it all kind of went wrong.
How am I here?
Pretty good, yeah.
How are you?
All right. Making me paranoid, but that's all right.
Gets passed over.
Tell us about Rusty.
Yeah, Rusty Dusty. Yeah, so he's, he's a rescue from the police. I'm in the police.
You are?
Yeah, yeah, not allowed around here. But no, so, um, rescuing for the police is basically quite a nasty job, um, where it's a domestic murder. So one—
shit, that's taking a fucking twist to our podcast. That's crazy.
Trying to keep it PG.
Yeah, he's a golden retriever. Yeah, he is.
So it wasn't he He didn't do it. No, so he's basically, um, one's in prison and then one's no longer with us, so there was a dog left over. Um, they came out and said, who wants him?
So how old was he?
He was— this was about 8 months, 10 months ago. Um, so he's 2, he's come 2 and a half now.
Where's he from?
I don't think I can say too much about the area. Yeah, it's like down south somewhere.
Yeah, was it, was it near London?
Um, I think you could probably find it, but yeah.
Um, wait for the Netflix documentary.
Yeah, no, so he was left over and they came out to the police, um, and essentially they go, oh, does anyone want to look after the dog? And we said, yeah, we'll take him.
You have another dog or just—
No, just Dusty, but we've had dogs before.
Oh, sick.
That's cool. Um, so yeah, but they didn't tell us he was reactive, so It kind of came from the paperwork, or the day we got him, took him out a couple times, and then figured out he didn't like other dogs. So picked him up from that, and, um, it's kind of got worse as we went through. Yeah, there's more was happening. Went through all your style stuff online, did the best we could, but it's just trying to piece it all together. And I think this boot camp does a great job of kind of piecing those bits together and going, this is the process. Because obviously I tried some of the stuff, but in isolation they don't work as well, do they?
Yeah, ballistic.
Yeah, so it's like Transformers, isn't it?
Yeah, cool.
Like when they— or is it Power Rangers? Or maybe both. When they combine, quite similar, when they morph all together and become the SuperBot.
Yeah, yeah, SuperBot, all in one, does what you need to do. And it's, it's kind of crazy, like you think the start of the week, you think, oh no way you can get this sorted in like 5 days. And then as you hit sort of Wednesday and you're like, actually makes a massive difference.
Yeah.
And yeah, obviously like By today, you're like working on the resocialization stuff now, and you're like, it's even nearly playing with Freya out there.
Oh cool.
And then they're like dancing. Yeah, and you're like, oh, are they gonna— he did, he did give a reaction at the end, but it's just trying to get that, yeah, the fine line. And part of his issue is I don't think he understands how to play because obviously we don't know what his previous was.
Yep.
And we think he could have just been kept inside.
That's a proper rescue dog story, that.
Yeah, it is.
Oh, I just took him off my mate when he was 8 weeks old. Yeah, no, no, Paul Dusty's fucking like Batman.
He might have seen like the wildest—
yeah, he's come from the ends. Yeah, from the end. Yeah, everyone always— because we obviously walk him, he's usually got a muzzle on, um, and people are like 'Oh, your golden retriever's not friendly.' Is he a red one?
Is he a red one?
No, he's not.
Oh shit.
And they're like, 'Oh, your golden retriever's not friendly. That's not very common.' And we're like, 'No, obviously.' But he's not very common also. No, exactly. Yeah, his upbringing isn't common.
So that is fucking mental.
Kind of crazy.
Yeah. Well, we need a story like this on every podcast now. Yeah, I know.
The ratings are just gonna—
I know.
Yeah.
I think you talk about how No one listens to the podcast every time, don't you? But I think loads of people do. I think, yeah, yeah, I think more than you think. I think, yeah, 5, 10. Yeah, I'm one of them.
Yeah, do you ever listen to it whilst you're on duty or no?
Uh, no, I don't really get a chance because I'm a detective, so most of the time I'm like locked into a computer, um, and there's things going on, so Um, I mean, it's trying to concentrate is the difficult thing, isn't it? Um, but yeah, I mean, I wouldn't say no. Maybe back in the day when I was on response.
Yeah, yeah.
But nowadays, yeah, yeah, too tired.
And you're like suit and tie and that instead of like suit and tie.
Yeah, so I'm on domestic abuse and that Rusty's case was, uh, it was, uh, yeah, Dusty Rusty. Um, It was a, it wasn't, it was a domestic abuse job. Yeah, but, um, I've moved departments, but moved forces.
But we're in what country, what county?
So I'm in Warwickshire now.
All right, okay.
So not too— not that way you live, obviously. Yeah, that's where I live. Yeah, it's not where it happened. So I was in Thames Valley before, in Warwickshire now.
Fucking hell. Yeah, that is wild.
That's a true rescue dog.
Yeah, proper one.
Proper one. Proper one. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, Rusty Dusty gets a rescue dog pass for that one.
Yeah, which is rare, we don't give those that often. No, he's got like the platinum pass.
Yeah, yeah, fair enough. Had a good weekend? Oh yeah, did you go to the pub?
Yeah, yeah, we did the pub. Yeah, it was nice. Yeah, yeah, um, I think it's just a mac and cheese. I love mac and cheese.
Yeah, yeah, Dusty any biscuit? Brisket? Brisket?
He got a bit of mac.
Yeah, I'll have to wind that guy's neck in again and see if Yeah, I need to feed the dogs well. Yeah, normally they bring like a tiny little cardboard tray with a piece of brisket.
Oh, did they?
All right.
Oh no, we didn't get the premium treatment this time. I have to get around there and be like, all right, sort us out.
Yeah.
All right, thank you for coming on, sir. Yeah, it was a good story. Yeah. Oh God, my knees.
They're all walshy knees.
I know what I'm gonna do when I get knighted. Never get back up, Your Majesty.
I'm gonna have to stay down here.
Chas, I'm gonna have to fucking— you have to give me a minute, right? The old podcast. You've had a lot of guests. He probably would too, wouldn't he? Dirty bastard. Oh, fucking Epstein's Island. I don't know if I could say Yeah, the king sucking dick, of course it can. Definitely.
Of course it can.
Of course it can.
No, just— yeah, okay.
Oh no, me sucking the king's dick? Maybe not. I'm joking, it's fine.
Is it?
I don't really know, to be honest anymore, Ian. It's all blurred, what's acceptable and what is not. They still haven't come after us. No, we even got police people listening to it.
You truly do never know who's gonna —of their ear. Honest. Blessed by your— Blessed. —non-sense. —by your notes. Tones. Decibels. Yeah. Right, right, right.
Right, we'll wrap it up. Shall we? Okay. Right, as always, it's been a pleasure to have you.
And some value potentially today to someone. And today.
This is the 1 in 10 episode where we give some potential smidge of slight value. Could add some more value.
That's like variable reinforcement.
Yes. And this is why you keep coming back, because you only sometimes get it. Oh, at some point, if it was valuable every fucking podcast, you would have stopped listening a long time ago.
Baseline fucked. Yeah.
And you would have probably tuned into some other dog training boring podcast. This isn't the place for that. No, I'd like to think not anyway. One thing it's not is boring. Well, I fucking might be. Yeah, it could be to people. Yeah, yeah, no, but to us it's not. Yeah, we have fun.
Yeah, one thing is a tear of laughter just earlier.
Could we have a zoom-in shot on that if we get that, please? Just in there, a little—
like a little tear, singular little—
like a little bit of pre-cum from the eyeball. Speaking of, I think I've got pink eye. Genuinely, I just had the itchiest eye. I had the itchiest eye on the way to work where I was just like, oh, who's fired? But to be fair, for me, Mrs. or the dogs? I slept— Luigi was in bed with us last night. Okay, and he eats poo.
Okay, he eats poo like we would eat corn on the cob, like in a rotation fashion. Yes. Does he? That's kind of weird.
Kobe's poo. Big Kobe. You think he's trying to like—
I don't know, I don't know.
And it makes me feel quite ill. I love that little dog. That's one aspect about him I don't like, and it's the eating of shit. Yeah, it just— I just struggle getting, getting down with it, you know. Yeah, I was just sick in my mouth thinking about it, to be honest. Anyway, we'll leave you with the golden retriever murders and the shitty indaccent. Yeah, that's what this episode is.
Fair enough, fair enough.
Pooiji. All right, we'll leave you there. Yeah, have a good one. I'm gonna go eat that, um, Penang curry. Packet of sticky rice and a packet of sticky rice. We'll put a shot up of it there. Weird. There is, yeah, just a weird sack. Yeah, you don't think about bags of rice and think, I want to eat that wet, moist bag of rice, do you? I don't know why they've done that. Maybe a box of rice. Yeah, usually, but a bag, I'm not sure.
I suppose it keeps the steam in, maybe. I've got a webinar at 4.
Oh, I've got an hour. Stunning. Right, all right, say bye, Ian. Bye, Ian. Bye, Ian.
