How Inner Child Work Heals Men | S01 E08

Welcome back to When Kings Unite, a podcast where we explore masculinity as medicine. I'm Wes, and today we'll be talking about one of the single most impactful things I've explored in my life, which is our relationship with the inner child. Because at their essence, children are playful, creative, loving, curious, Somewhere along the way, naturally, they get wounded. They inherit all these different stories, and that impacts how we move through the world. The thing is, those stories don't stay in the past. Each of our inner children is a very real part of us today. And so, love to start by asking each of y'all to introduce your inner child. Who Who were you as a kid in your purest form?

Thanks, Wes. I really appreciate you opening the conversation. Yeah, so like, thank you and fuck you. Yeah, my inner child is a really— little Chris is a sweet, sensitive soul. Um, he wasn't the kid who was, um, didn't own the playground, wasn't like the biggest or the baddest, wasn't the leader of the pack. Like, none of that. Was quiet, um, tended to kind of stay in the background of life and just It's almost like he was— he's just grateful to be there, right? Grateful to be around the cool kids or the grown-ups or, you know, whatever else is going on. And he is also really— honestly, I think he goes through life just scared, just scared of the world and scared of Not being liked. I think little Chris really enjoys, really wants to be liked, needs to be liked, and doesn't want to do anything to fuck that up. So he doesn't like the spotlight. He really just kind of wants everyone to like him. And when there's any sort of conflict, my inner child gets really avoidant, doesn't want to face it head on, doesn't want to do anything with it, just wants to have it go away. Like, get the magic wand, wave it, and make whatever this conflict is go away. Don't want to deal with it because it's really scary. And it means that I might not be liked on the other end of it. That also has little Chris not really voicing, giving voice to what he really wants or what he really needs. Because if the demand is made, that's too big. It's like, oh, and I don't get it, or people might not like what I ask for, or I'll be judged for it. So yeah, my inner child is kind of timid in that way and tends to kind of sublimate his own needs, his own wants and desires, and just kind of put them on the back burner and put everyone else first. Um, but he'll reiterate, man, he's such a sweet little boy. Like, just, just a heart of gold, wants nothing other than to love and to be loved. Yeah, that's my Oh, that's my inner child.

Thanks, man.

I appreciate that.

Yeah, I, um, it was really cool because, uh, Chris and I got to go to a, uh, men's retreat. I think we, um, referenced the Alchemy of Men. Uh, they have a men's retreat and, uh, there was a really cool exercise around my inner child, so I'm like super aware of it and, um, I'll show this to you guys, but this is the photo that I brought right here.

It's just little baby Smith.

And I know, I know.

So precious.

Still just as cute.

He was cute.

Just as cute now, I just said. And yeah, I had such a cool opportunity to see him.

At its purest form as a child.

And that version of me is very open, very contemplative, not rushed, is curious, is very, very peaceful, is very connected to the inner circle. My inner circle. Very connected to love. I remember being, um, really aware of like what authentic felt like and what love felt like. And, um, Yeah. There was also like a level of safety that I had with myself. And, um, I also noticed the, for me right now, like the opportunity that I have for, for trust. I was a kid.

Hmm.

I think, um, I really wanted to see inside people's souls. It's my inner child.

Thank you, Smith. Um, well, first, uh, thank you, Wes, for inviting us to do this exploration. Um, so when I was a kid, uh, I think I mentioned in a previous episode that I'm named after my dad. So, um, I'm Freddie Jr., or I was called Fred Jr. for— in my older years, but when I was little, little, I was called Lil Fred. So Lil Fred was a highly sensitive young boy. Cried a lot, which was very unnerving for my mother. She would often tease Lil Fred for being a crybaby, for being, or as she would put it, being a titty baby. And, you know, I recognize now that, you know, oh, I just felt, I felt things deeply on a deeper level than most. But I was, or Lil Fred was a reserved, Not shy, but definitely timid. Very timid, very reserved, very introverted. And because I was an only child for a while, like when my little brother was born, I was 10 years old. So I spent 10 years by myself until my little brother was born. And even then, there was such an age gap. That I still spent quite a bit of time by myself. But Lil Fred was not at all an aggressive boy, despite what my mother attempted to impart in me. I think I talked about that before as well, putting me in T-ball and putting me in karate and stuff like that. because she wanted me to learn how to be more aggressive. But that wasn't who Lil Fred was. He had no desire to be aggressive. He wanted to be loving. He wanted to be at peace. He wanted to be creative. And that he was. His grandparents put him in front of a computer when he was 6 years old and fell in love, like, and he just started creating stuff. And he just like developed this really, this, this really strong desire to, to create and got really excited when people praised his ability to create and praised his creations. Um, so a lot of that was, um, you know, good and bad from this, from the standpoint of It developed this— it further developed the perfectionism and the seeking of validation. Uh, and this battle, this inner battle that developed in his younger years between, uh, being different and embracing his uniqueness and his differentness and belonging. And that battle continued into his adulthood. So that's Lil Fred.

Beautiful. Really appreciate y'all sharing. And for me, um, I was also an only child. So for me, I won't speak for you, Freddie, but I feel like I grew up kind of just being kind of weird. I was like not socialized, but a ton of playfulness, really extroverted despite being an only child. I always really wanted to be around people. And the words that come to mind for him are play and wonder, like just being so fascinated by the world, fascinated by people, always wanting to play basketball, have fun, like whatever it was. And Freddie got into it a little bit already, but I'm curious, like, How did you learn to perceive the world as a kid, and how has that influenced how you move through the world today?

I think for me, and I believe I touched on this in a previous episode as well, my experience as a child shaped me into being a performer. Um, and I distinguish between, uh, so I, I like, I played, I've been playing with this language recently around performing, performing from form or within, within my form and, and performing to conform.

Hmm.

And I think my experience and my upbringing taught me more so to perform to conform, that there was one way that I was supposed to be in the world, and that was the right way. And so I was— I was constantly battling between, you know, that duality of right and wrong. And if it's not right, then it has to be wrong. And just constantly having this battle, this battle of survival, really, of if I don't move through the world and navigate the world the right way, then I'm in danger, or something's going to happen. come and threaten me. And so that, that just, like I said, fed this, this, this performativity in how I moved through the world. And, and it was, like I said, it was this, it was this ongoing battle because I, my, my higher self knew that, like, I'm a unique individual. Who is creative and wants to share my creativity with the world, and I love being different. I don't want to be like everybody else. Yet at the same time, being taught and sort of conditioned by society that, you know, oh, you're supposed to be a kid this way. You're supposed to be a boy and be a man this way. So these are the things that you need to do. These are the boxes you need to check in order to fulfill your manhood or your, your maleness. Um, so, so that, that's what initially comes up for me around, around that. Yeah.

Yeah. Thanks, Freddie. I, um, so much of what you shared really resonates, the performative nature, the Um, you know, the, the ways of being to please other people, um, to live up to all the shoulds. Um, I would just add, for me, it, it's like it became a series of if-then statements.

Hmm.

That became, you know, it's really stories. I was telling stories in my head. It's a skill that I carry to this day. I think I'm a reasonably gifted storyteller. And it's because I had so much practice as a child telling myself stories about if I do this or if I say that or if I choose to be whatever, authentically myself or not, you know, in performance, like there was a predictable outcome in my mind. There was a story that I'm telling myself in my mind. I'll never know whether those stories were true or not because I never actually you know, stepped out of performance as a young boy. I spent my entire childhood in performance and really honed that skill. But yeah, it was just a lot of storytelling, making myself afraid.

Yeah, I really resonate with everything that has been said already. I think my flavor, my version of it is I was really taught to Get approval. That's one of the things that I was really taught, uh, in my upbringing. And, uh, I was constantly looking for approval. Like, my flavor of it is I had a story, then I was like, okay, my story can't be true. Let me ask somebody else. And then it had me actually like lose trust, um, for my inner child cuz I didn't know what was right, what was wrong anymore. It just, uh, That allowed me to kind of like continue to be in a loop of a lot of confusion and a lot of, I don't know what else to say, sadness.

Yeah. Yeah.

One, one thing I'll add as well, like intellect over intuition.

Oh, 100%.

For sure. Like, that— and that was part of the performance is, you know, the importance of education and, you know, being really smart or book smart was like— that was paramount in my family construct.

Mm-hmm.

So I was, you know, a straight-A student in elementary school. I was on the honor roll all through high school and was constantly validated and celebrated through making good grades. And so that taught me to value my intellect, but I had no idea how to trust my intuition because— I was, I was sort of taught and conditioned to suppress and to not trust my intuition, not trust my gut, because you got to be smart about it.

Oh yeah, that definitely resonates for me. Um, I was, I grew up being praised for being the smart kid. And yeah, like my whole identity kind of became that. And like, I think there's a specific thing within Chinese culture too, where it's like, it's about succeeding within a template.

Mm-hmm.

Like within a structure. It's like if the structure is school or yeah, I guess education in general, it's like, getting ahead in that, being at the top of the class, like having— being ahead in fucking piano or like whatever the fuck it is.

T-ball.

T-ball, yeah. And so, um, yeah, I was also very much taught to suppress intuition, suppress everything else in favor of that specific kind of achievement. And I did well at that. And I also grew up very depressed and so disconnected from myself that I had chronic pain in my body because I was just so— Yeah, just so out of my own experience. And that still shows up for me today, not just in the, like, body tensing, but in the sense of, like, I need to always be providing value to be loved. I need to be saying something insightful. I need to be saying something entertaining or being caring in some way in order to have value. And there's this kind of incessant drive to do all of those things that can take over if I'm not really rooted in my awareness. So that brings me to my next question is, How do you know when your inner child is in need of love or in pain or suffering in some way?

I'll go. So I've done a lot of work in this area is to be aware of what my inner child needs. The thing that I have to say about is that There was a lot of parts of myself that I did not trust growing up. So it led me to be very, very, very confused about how to even trust myself. And recently, like, over the last, like, 2 and a half-ish years, I started a project around just this idea of trust. I called it— I called it Project Magical Trust, 'cause I thought it was so magical. I'm like, how do people— trust themselves? Like, I just didn't get it. And for me, the thing that started to shift it and to allow it to change was for me to practice what I believed authenticity looked like in that moment. And so when I was like, all right, let me, let me try being angry, let me try being happy. And like, it just started to build more and more facility. And honestly speaking, I think I'm going to be on this journey for the rest of my life. Like, It is a process versus just like a destination for me. But now what it looks like for me is paying attention to how my body's reacting. If my body is activated, like I start to get tense, or if I start to be really open or whatever, like it's just an opportunity for me to see what stories are at play, to see what is actually going on inside of me. Because my body is a really great— like Chris's words, like a storyteller.

Yeah.

It has a lot of data, has a lot of information. And when I start to pay attention to my body, I can use my consciousness to actually tap into like what's there. And it's very different sometimes. Like sometimes when I feel tense, I'm actually excited. Sometimes when I feel tense, I'm actually nervous. And it's just like a process for me to like continue to understand really my body is how it goes for me.

Yeah, I, I can Resonate with everything you shared, Smith. Like, you languaged that beautifully. And I don't really have too much more to add to that for me, uh, but what I, what I will tack onto that, uh, and what came up for me as you were sharing, especially around, you know, like being aware and present to what's happening in the body and the stories. Uh, what came up for me is ego. When, when the ego self shows up with, with, again, with the stories, the narratives, the, the fear-based, you know, insufficiency, scarcity, you know, all that shit. That's when I know my inner child needs some attention.

Yeah. Thank both, both of you, Freddie and Smit. I, this is honestly one that I struggle with, you know, to be real candid. It's, we've talked a lot about, and I really deeply resonate, Freddie, with your share about intuition versus intelligence. And so my experience of my inner child sometimes is much more academic. Mm-hmm.

Right?

It's, I don't, I don't, I see him and I can experience him, but I don't necessarily feel him as deeply as, you know, I'll put a judgment word in here, as deeply as I should, like in, in ways that would really, I think, serve me and benefit me. So I do, I do align with what you shared so beautifully, Smith-Around, kind of somatic. Um, indicators. I know what it feels like in my body when my, there's something going on that my inner child either really loves or really doesn't love. Um, and I'm just at the ripe old age of 48, starting to get a little bit of facility with leaning into that and not leaning away from it, right? Of not pretending that it doesn't exist or that it's not important or it doesn't matter, but actually being curious about it. And I see a lot of gold for me in building a project similar to your Magical Trust around, you know, really getting still and quiet and getting deep with my inner child, because I think there is a lot of wisdom there. And what holds me back is there's fear of, of just pain there. There's fear of wounding there. And, um, you know, I, My inner child, my younger me, is so precious. And perhaps I judge him as being pretty fragile. Maybe he's not. Maybe he's not as fragile as I judge him to be. So kind of a muddled answer for me, but really it's just, I sense when he's poking his head up. And it's not always super comfortable for me. And I'm just starting to listen and to be curious and to not just intellectualize it away.

Such a beautiful share, man. Thank you for sharing that.

Yeah.

And also happy birthday. Thank you, brother. Yeah.

Sir, happy birthday to Chris. Yeah, it was such a, such a powerful share that reminded me too that like men are taught to stamp out the things that we need as little boys. We're taught to reject our vulnerability as if that's weakness, that needing love and care like any fucking human needs, um, like— Yeah, that, that's weak. And in that, it's actually an act of courage to give our inner child some love, to acknowledge that depth of unconditional love that we so deeply desire. And with, uh, I resonate a lot with, uh, Smith's share on like, That it ends up being very much a somatic experience for me in my body of like, when something's off, like my body knows, and my inner child or whatever parts of me are like speaking to me through that. And now that we've talked through how we can tell when our inner child is coming up, I'd love for one of you to volunteer to do a bit of an inner child visualization with me. And my request is that you bring something that you may be currently struggling with or dealing with, where maybe your inner child is a little scared or unhappy about something.

The last time I did this, you made me cry. So I'm staying away from you. I'll let someone else take it though. And I'll, and I'll be able to exercise here.

Yeah.

I'd be, you know, as I just shared, accessing and being in relationship with and getting some facility with my inner child is certainly something I'm working on. So I'd like to play.

Love that. Yeah, really honoring you for leaning in. Yeah, so feel free to close your eyes, get grounded in your body. And now just imagining roots flowing down from your body into the core of the earth, knowing that Mother Earth has infinite capacity for you, for any of your fears, your worries, your love. You are fully held and safe in this moment with your brothers here. And taking note of any body sensations that may be coming up. And what's coming up for you in this moment?

Right now I'm feeling a lot of peace. I'm feeling very relaxed and very peaceful.

Um, yeah. Great.

Now calling forth your inner child. Join you here. Let me know when you have a clear image of him. Or not.

Yeah, I've got him.

Yeah, what do you see?

He's got his little smiling, angelic face. Um, All the hope in the world, all the trust and belief in the world. Just, um, yeah, everything is possible for him.

Beautiful. And is there anything he's worried about or scared of? And totally okay if there's not, if he's just in that pure sense of hope.

Yeah, he's more than anything, he's just worried about or scared of being wrong. Of, um, yeah, just doing or saying something wrong. And yeah, it feels like, it feels like the risk there is But like disapproval, um, feels pretty severe. Like that's a really high risk to, to not be approved. Yeah.

Yeah. Is that something you can understand and empathize with? Yeah.

Yeah.

I also find myself, um, frankly being in a little bit of judgment around it. Um, like I see it and I understand it and I also know that it's not true. And so while I can have empathy, sympathy, Um, for that, there's also this part of me or this voice that's like, you know, not even in an encouraging way, not in a like, come on, buck up, little trooper, you can do it. But just like kind of really judging him for being weak and, and yeah. Just not— I mean, there's a, there's a lot of judgment around not enoughness there.

Yeah.

Yeah. Sounds like there's another part of you coming in, judging him. And is it fair to say that part of you is trying to protect him from that disapproval, from being wrong?

I mean, a little bit. I think it's the part that's like, it's more— this is the part that is— I feel that this is like the grown-up me that understands how the world works and that it's just impossible to get approval from everyone. So it's like, it's more like You gotta learn this lesson. You gotta like toughen up a little bit, kid. Um, you know, because the world's not a safe place. It's not a friendly place. And if you go around needing everyone to like and approve you, then you're never gonna actually be yourself. And I know that he's this amazing angelic Pure, sweet little boy and has a lot to offer, but it's all hidden under all the, all the stories, all the masks. And, um, so yeah, it's— it feels like kind of like tough love and kind of like, you know, initiation into the cruel reality of the world. And so it's not, I don't judge him in like a judgy way, if you will. It's almost like impatient. It's almost like sitting, having a hard time sitting with the naivete and the innocence.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, sounds like there's a lot of love behind that and also a lot of pain.

Yeah.

And I wonder, this part of you that is feeling the judgment, can you also have compassion for this part of you that Just wants to see your inner child shine.

Yeah, totally. And I, I kind of chuckle a little bit because this part of me that is wanting my, my inner child to do it right, so that, you know, approval is there. It's just like always there.

Uh, and if it feels right, you can thank this judgmental part of you for all of his efforts in supporting your inner child and helping you out.

I am grateful.

Yeah. How does that land with that part of you?

Yeah, it feels like this part of me feels like a little more seen and a little more understood and appreciated. Um, it doesn't— I don't like— he doesn't like Being a judge or judging other people. It's not comfortable. It doesn't feel good. And so to be acknowledged for the love, kind of the tough love that he has for my inner child is gratifying.

What message do you have for this part of you from your essence?

I think the first message is one of love and acceptance. And yeah, whatever the Active kinetic inverse of rejection is, like welcoming and accepting. And there's also, I think I also have a message or an invitation of curiosity. That's one thing about that little boy, was endlessly curious. He is endlessly curious. And, um, I think as I, as I grew up, I buried it under the, under the knowing of it all. Yeah.

So you're giving, you're helping this, this part of you give more permission to your inner child to be curious.

And to not hide it. It's always been there, but just to not hide it.

Hmm.

Beautiful.

Yeah.

How does that land with little Chris?

There's a cheeky part of him that's like, yeah, well, duh. Like, Um, and it also is, it also feels good. It feels, there's, feels like there's some acknowledgement and some acceptance and love there. And, um, and some affirmation.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What else does Little Chris need in this moment, if anything, or want?

Yeah.

I think, um, he wants play.

Yeah. What kind of play?

Just goofy. Just silly. Kind of unstructured. Just having fun being play. Just For its own sake? Yeah, without having to accomplish anything. Don't have to win.

Just play.

Yeah.

Is there anything in particular he wants to do?

Yeah, he, um, doesn't like to play alone. So, uh, you know, I think it's, I think it's finding people, inviting people into this playful place of just joy and just fun. Um, I mean, it could be, it could be making up a silly game. It could be playing cards. It could be dance. It could be whatever. But I think it's about, is I'm really feeling that he wants to play with people, play with other people, not by himself.

Yeah.

Does he have anyone in mind or is there? Are there people you want to introduce him to from your life?

Yeah, I think, um, there are, there are some men in my life, um, here locally where I live. Um, I, it feels like it's men. It doesn't feel like it's women, but it's men that he doesn't get to Be playful, be in play with, and, um, like he's always gotta be serious.

Yeah.

So it feels like it's, it feels like it's men. It feels like it's, yeah, he, he's really comfortable playing with Monica or playing with mom or playing with the women in my life.

Yeah.

Yeah. Do you want to introduce him to those, uh, men?

Yeah. Yeah.

And it's just, as soon as I say that, I noticed like this Just like this pang of fear of like, oh shit. Like, it feels risky.

Yeah.

It feels like there's just a possibility of rejection.

Yeah.

Does he feel that too?

Not as much as I do. I mean, I think it's there, but I think he's more excited about the play than about the risk, than he's aware of the risk. Like it's, it's higher in his consciousness, just the possibility. And, um, yeah, for me, you know, just kind of standing as an observer, it's like I've, I'm way more scared for him than he is.

Hmm.

Yeah, definitely hear the love and care in that. And are you willing to set that down for a bit and trust in these important men in your life to embrace your inner child?

I think in the right circumstance, yes. I mean, it's— I still feel like this really strong urge to protect, and I also see a lot of, a lot of gold, a lot of goodness and value in, you know, uncaging him a little bit.

Yeah.

It's like he's been in protective custody for so long.

And, uh, yeah, yeah, well, it's your inner world. What kind of circumstances do you want it to be?

Hmm.

I feel like I have to really know these other people first. I don't know. I just feel it.

I need to—

it needs to feel safe first.

That's totally fine. Is there a kind of play that he can engage in, uh, with people in a way that feels safe for you now?

Yeah. The first thing that's coming up is like, um, just having fun on a playground, like swinging on the swings and riding the merry-go-round and just being chasing and playing tag and just like being a kid.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you want to do that with them?

Do I want to do that with him?

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Can be safe, playful man for him too. And yeah. And is there any place he would like to be? Is it on the playground with you? Is it somewhere in your heart space?

Yeah, it's, it's, it's running. It's on the playground and it's running and laughing and being Being active, being kinetic, and yeah, running and playing and falling and laughing.

Great. Is there anything else he wants in this moment?

No, not really. That's, that feels like what he really wants. He just wants to play.

Is it okay if we leave him here for now?

Hmm.

Yeah.

Great. So, yeah, just whenever you're ready, coming back into the space on your own time.

Oh, there you are. Hi guys. Hi.

Whew.

Really appreciate you being willing to, to go there.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you. My little man needs to play.

Yeah. I honor you.

I honor you, King, and your little prince.

Thank you, Friday.

Yeah, for that vulnerability, that courage. Um, and if I can offer something to both of you, uh, that came up for me, like you said, you were sort of in inquiry around The what you languaged the energetic opposite of rejection, and what came up for me is redirection. The energetic opposite of rejection is redirection. So if it's if it's a no, no is an acronym for next one.

Yeah.

So that's my offer to—

Thank you.

You and little Chris.

Thank you.

My pleasure.

Thanks for just being in the process. I noticed how you were just like open to be messy with that process. I could really feel like what it's like for you internally. And I really appreciate you like modeling that for like all of us here, but also anybody else that's listening in. Um, because I think that sometimes there is a certain like context or narrative or story that this work is like, it's always easy and super fun all the time. And, and no.

Says who?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Um, but, uh, I know the end result is that, and sometimes like the process can be a little bit messy. Um, and I appreciated you just like being in the process. And then it was a beautiful gift to like see you land on something really fun and playful for yourself.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you, brother.

Yeah, dude.

Yeah, that, that play part really, really resonated with me, like deeply.

Yeah.

So thank you for that.

Yeah.

Thank you for being my mirror.

Dude, it was like a funhouse mirror. I was like, mirror, mirror, mirror on the wall. Yeah, I, uh, I do feel a call to say this. So, um, it— this experience had me recall something over the weekend that, um, that was a really huge insight for me. Um, and you actually modeled it for me, Chris, is, uh, like that past inner child in myself will never, quote unquote, like get back those experiences. Like it's already done. It's gone.

Yeah.

And I actually get to like grieve that, but also still tend to my inner child, but I get to now do it in my adult body. So it has less, for me, it has less to do with the doing, like, kind of like your example, I can go on the swings, I can, you know, spin around on the carousel, it'll be fun. And there's also like an experience of if I'm only with just my inner child by itself and it's running the show, I'm probably still in like a disempowered experience. Like, for me, I'm like, oh wow, what does it look like for me to play right now? How can I like heal the last version of myself, the grievance of all of it, but still be fun and play right now and bring my little version of me along for the ride?

Be like, dude, this is awesome.

Now see what we did together? Yeah. Um, So yeah, I'm really like, um, I'm re-presenting—

what's that word?

Re-present something like—

Re-presencing.

Yeah.

Thank you. That, that one. I'm re-presencing actively as I figure out how to say the word. Um, but yeah, I'm really like taking a look at that now for like, what does that look like in real practice in, in my life? Um, yeah. So thanks for saying, saying everything that you did, man. It's a lot of gold for me too.

Uh, thank you for holding me. Um, and Wes, oof, thank you for the guidance.

He's like a Jedi.

He is, he is. He's like, man, the Force is strong with this one.

Yeah, I really appreciate your trust, man. Love you.

And yeah, I love you too, brother.

Uh, and I'm curious, like, what do you feel has shifted from, for you from doing that?

Yeah, I'm just noticing, um, sadness. I think as Smith said, like the grieving. Um, I don't think I've processed that yet. I don't think I've, I've done that, that work yet. And, uh, so I'm just really present to that right now. Just some of the, some of that grief and the sadness. And, uh, and I'm also feeling really called to just go play, just to go pointless, you know, without an agenda, without a structure, just go do something to have fun. Hmm.

Yeah, it has me thinking. And, um, well, for one thing, yeah, I really appreciate how it's drawing your, your awareness to like be with that grief that needs tending to, and also the joy and play that you need and want and deserve.

Yeah.

And has me thinking, when we're in, in Dallas together, we gotta do something Just purely for fun. Excited for that.

That'll be a really fun workshop.

Yeah, yeah. And to close this out, I'd love if each of us just gave one message, whether it's love or guidance or whatever it is, to our inner child. Whatever you want to express.

Hmm.

Yeah, mine comes pretty easily after the deep work that I just did. Thank you, Wes. Yeah, tell my inner child I love you. It's okay. And you're strong enough.

You're enough, exactly as is.

Yeah, I, uh, I actually wrote, um, a couple weeks ago, I wrote a letter to Lil Fred and posted it up on my Substack. Um, I won't read the whole thing now, but what I would say to Lil Fred now is, You are enough. Always, in all ways, without exception. You are the master of your universe. I love you forevermore.

Beautiful. Yeah, I would say I will always love you unconditionally. There's nothing you could ever do to make you less deserving of that or less loved, and you will always have a home with me.

Hmm.

And yeah, with that, we're closing out this episode of When Kings Unite on our relationships with our inner children. And remember that your inner child is perfectly lovable exactly as they are, that they deserve unconditional love and joy and play, and that they're always with you. You can always give them the love that they've always needed. Much love to you all. We'll see you all next time on When Kings Unite.