Addicted to the High of Growing | Date Your Wife | Ep 017

Well, hello there, my friends. If you're watching this video, it means that you are here at the date you wife podcast. It also means that Danielle and I are not, as you can see here in studio. We're going to be sharing with you this week an exclusive one on one interview that I did with Danielle the very first time in 2016 at one of our warrior empire events. I think it's going to be revealing, it's going to be insightful. And it was the very first time that Danielle went on the stage and began to talk about what it was like to be a woman and inside of this game, married to a man, living the warrior's way. It's intense, it's potent, it's powerful, and I hope you enjoy it. We'll come back to you here at the end of today's episode here on the date your wife podcast with a couple instructions. Enjoy. One, because I love the shit out of her. And two, because I thought it might. It might help you guys to hear some of her answers unfiltered.

She.

She has an idea of some of these questions, but I'm going to ask her and let her say what she's going to say and let you hear the other side of the conversation since so oftentimes you get to hear mine. You guys ready for this? Yeah.

I'm so nervous. Okay. Yeah. They can't hear me. I can. What's this now?

You got to go down. Go down the hallway.

I got to run.

All right, hold on, hold on.

Am I running in?

So we gotta give her a back of the room. Go to the very back of the room. And then we're gonna do a table slap and get you guys.

I'm so pumped. I wore all black.

Right?

Oh, that introduction makes me nervous.

We need a little 2 clue to make her feel comfortable.

Hey, no, I'm in all black. You can do two clap. Boo.

Never mind two cl. Okay, here we go. So we're going to start off with. We're going to start off with a bunch of questions. We've had some opportunities. We're going to start with the first one. First one is Danielle. A man wants to change.

I need a water.

You need a water. Can you get some waters up here?

Look at that. But I guess.

Okay, so first question. First question is around the topic of change. A man wants to change, but his wife is fighting the change. How many have experienced this? As you're starting to change, you have resistance from the queen. Okay, cool. So how should a man handle the resistance to the change he's trying to bring to his home as he begins to implement the principles of the warriors weapon.

I would say, like, put yourself in her shoes. And what if she started implementing change? How would you react? I think people in general don't like change because it's scary. So I find the best way to, like, I always try and put myself in Garrett's shoes. I mean, I know I'm not him, but I'm like, okay, if I was in this situation, how would I react? So I think change is scary no matter what. And I think that you just, from a wife's perspective, I don't know, I would say you just can't overwhelm your wife. You have to just lead by example. Same thing you would do with children, you know, and eventually they're like, he's serious. This is not going away. Like, I either need to figure out where I'm at or I need to jump on board. And I kind of felt like in the beginning, that's how it was with you. Like, you. You started doing all these seminars and self help things, and I was like, oh, my God, that's so not me. And then at some point I was like, okay, I have to get on board with this. And Garrett's kind of intense, so. Yeah, a little bit. So it's not like he came, like, lightly. He was kind of strange, to be honest with you guys. Like, in the beginning, he would, like, go to these events and, like, make me feel guilty that I wasn't interested in it. And I was like, what? I don't want to do that. Like, that's not me. Good luck with that. And I don't know if any of your wives have experienced that too. You know, they're like, you know, you work on you, and that's great. I'm good. Like, you work on you. And I never really thought I was needing, like, like, self work. But then I. I don't know, I just realized, like, there's so much more than just, I don't know, it's just kind of don't overwhelm your wife. And I don't know.

Got it. So a couple key points inside of this is the commitment to staying with it. Because in the beginning, you were completely against how I was showing up, because I was trying to figure out who I was inside of that. And a lot of these guys are trying to figure out who they are having been a certain way in relationship.

I think I had to figure out who I was too. Do you know what I mean? I Thought I knew who I was. And then you get kind of, like, kept challenging me. And because I'm like, I've got to make our relationship work, you know, it made me look at things differently and kind of reevaluate who I was as a person, who I wanted to be, who I wanted to become. I'm like, hey, Garrett wants to be a better person and wants to change. Maybe I should want to be a better person. What does that look like for me? And even though there was this weird disconnect, I was like, okay, well, I'm going to surrender and see where this takes me. But I'm super stubborn. So I was like, just so you know, it's not your idea, it's my idea, and I'll just go along and see how this. You know. But I think that's kind of what relationship is about, is give and take. And even if you're not in a great spot in your marriage, like, the person that you're with, if they see that, like, listen, I'm. I want to. This is for the better. For me, for you, for us. They're. They're gonna buy in eventually. They're gonna be like, okay, they're not just gonna quit. You have to give your spouse credit that they're not just gonna be like, well, I'm out, and you're crazy. Like, just keep leading by example. And that's probably my best advice I could give.

Okay, so one caveat to this. So at times, there was a. There was a point in the game where you had to choose, like, really choose to be all in for you with us. Because I was moving in the direction I was going, and I was committed over time to this path. It was like, 2011, I'm coming off Achilles surgery, and I'm going. We're still trying to recover from chaos as a couple. What made you choose in? Because some women don't choose in, and some women actually choose out. And we've had a couple divorces in Warrior from guys who've been here, from women who said they decided.

I always felt like, no matter. And this is just me. I'm like, no matter who you're with, you're always gonna have problems. And I just thought, God, it sounds. I don't know if it sounds more. If it sounds better to quit here and restart something and then discover more problems and figure it out then. Or maybe I should work with what I already have. I've got two kids. Like, at the point when I got to that place, we'd had Two kids. I'm like, to me, it seems to make more sense to rebuild our relationship than to burn it to the ground and think that this other step is going to be easier. And in my experience, I think that people give up too quickly. I mean, there's certain situations where the other partner doesn't choose in. And if a voice comes to you and says, you need to go, then you need to go. But I felt like we were both fighting, and neither of us were ready to give up. And so I think we were both not necessarily choosing in, but it's like, we weren't out. We were still, like, still very much connected. And it just needs that little piece of connection to rekindle and to rebuild. And for Garrett and I, you know, we got married. We probably. I got married pretty young. I was only 20. So then I didn't know what was going on. And it probably. Probably for the first five years, we're just trying to figure out how to balance being yourself and being in a relationship, because those are two different roles. And then it was like we kind of became roommates because, you know, we just kind of stopped dating and stopped not trying, but we just kind of stopped doing all the things that we were dating and started working and doing other things, and we had two kids, and then it was like, oh, I don't even like you. And we thought it was, like, overnight, but it wasn't. It probably took, you know, five years to get to this place where, like, you're kind of just a roommate to me, and, like, I don't really like you and whatever. And it's probably taken us another five years to rebuild back up to the point where I feel like today I'm like, I genuinely love this man. Like, I'm excited to go on date night. Like, it's almost like we really are dating again. And that's a really cool experience. But it's different than when you're young and dating because you've gone through so much together. So you're dating again, but there's such a connection. I don't even remember what the question is that you ask me, but you guys look like you're eating it up.

All right, so let's move to another topic. One of the things that we was a struggle during that time of disconnection, which occurs for some of our guys as they'll get down this pattern, and as a partnership, they become very busy in work and very busy with kids, and there's this drift, and attraction starts to die. And with it typically goes sexual intimacy. And so there's a lot of frustration around the sexual conversation. So here's the next question. The topic sex can be a sensitive one for couples. How did you and Garrett, or how did you and me, finally get to a place sex was not weird and became something more natural for both of you since you had spent so much time fighting about the subject?

I think it's like, give and take. I was writing a blog post today. I'm like, men want sex, women want time. And if neither needs are being met, then it's like give and take. But at the same time, I'll tell Garrett, I don't know. I feel like recently we seem in a peaceful place, and I'm not sure specifically what shifted. The only thing I can say is, like, you kind of have to, like, let go of your ego a little bit. And, like, from a girl's perspective, sometimes Garrett would. He would. He would not be, like, asking or, like, coming on to me too strong. But he was kind of an asshole mode. And I was like, you can't be an asshole mode, or I'm not turned on. And then, like, there was times where I would just be like, and, like, pushing him away and, like, I don't know. So then I'm like, I have to be fun and flirty, even if he's at work and whatever. Like, it's give and take. Like, you kind of have to play the role a little bit. That's just how it is. So, I mean, I go back to all the time. I just go back to my mind, like, how was it when you were dating? Like, honestly, when you're dating and you're a guy, you're kind of playing it cool and, like, I don't know. And women, same way, we're playing more flirty. We're playing, like, we're more into it, even if we're not. We're like, I totally don't want to. Like, no. But when we're dating, that's just how it is. They're like, well, maybe he's going to take me out. Is there a pair of shoes at the end of this date? Like, I'm just saying, like, that's how it goes. That's how it goes when you're dating. And so I feel like this element leaves us. When we get married, we get comfortable, and we're like, well, I'm going out. I'm going on a date. And I'm like, are you excited? Is it the same? I don't know. Is it the same when you were dating. Think about when you were dating. In the beginning, you probably went and got your car washed, got a new pair of shoes, planned it. Now your date night's like, what do you want to do? Well, what do you want to do that's not really a date? You have to kind of put an effort in order to build that sexual chemistry and kind of give and take and playing each other's roles, I guess. I don't know. Is that a bad answer or a good answer? Kind of like derailed a little bit.

That's great. So transition is one of the things that we get asked is therapy in couples. You and I went to extreme amounts of therapy in a short period of time. Talk about your experience with therapy and particularly sex therapy, and how that helped us.

I think having another person in the party that's not a family or a friend is like a mediator. So, like, literally, you'll say the exact same things that you want to say to your husband. Because there's somebody in the room. It's like a sounding board. So it goes to them and then it goes to the husband, it goes to her, and then it goes to the husband. So it's immediately less triggering for both sides, and you can actually talk about things without, like, exploding. And the other thing, too, as bad as this is to say, I think for spouses, like, sometimes if there was not a mediator, we put daggers in on purpose. And I don't know why we do that. We're like, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah. Cause it's an ego thing. And if you're in a room with a therapist or a mediator, you're not gonna. That would be weird. If you're doing that, they're like, oh, you fucking psycho. Like, they would know. So you kind of. You kind of. It's a way to, like, say what you want to say without being triggered as much. And Garrett has been triggered. We've gone to therapy, and he literally is like, I gotta do push ups. I'm so pissed. And the therapist is looking at me. I'm like, see what I have to deal with? I'm like, just let him get it out. He'll be fine. He's like a kid. But, I mean, I thought it was helpful. It was definitely, like, I felt like I could share what I was thinking without feeling like, oh, God, is this. Am I saying it right? Is this gonna upset him? I don't know. But also, being tactful, that's another huge thing. I think in marriage that goes out the window after you get married is you're less tactful. So. And I have to work on it myself. Like, I don't know, when you're dating, you're gonna say you're gonna be tactful. You're not gonna be like, hey, can you shave your face? You're gonna be like, oh, it looks cute, but you're just gonna be tactful with how you say things. And when we get married, we're just like, hey, I don't like this. Can you do this? Whatever? And we just, like, don't care. There's no politeness. There's no courtesy because we're married, and it doesn't matter. It's like, you still have to play that role of dating and courtesy and being tactful so that you don't run into that issue of throwing daggers to somebody that you care and love about. You know, like, being respectful and being able to open up to him without, like, throwing daggers and kind of letting go your ego. I almost didn't come speak today. Like, literally, Garrett, like, I asked him a question about technology this morning, and he hates when I ask him about technology. He's like, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, why are you being such an ass? And he's like, I'm going to vent, and blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, okay, well, do you still want me to come speak? And he's like, no. And I was like. And it was interesting because I was like, yes, you do. I know you do. But I couldn't say that. I couldn't be like, you're being an asshole. Knock it off. Stop pouting. Stop having your mantra. But I just was like, this is what they call. It's a mantrum when I start to.

Get fired at the home.

Don't pretend like you don't all do it.

Corner me with, oh, Dad's having a man trap. Thank you to them.

True. But no. Like, I. And it was funny because I wanted to throw daggers at you and be like, you're being an asshole. And I didn't even. I was like, you're being kind of rude. I wish you would stop doing that. And I really wanted to be like, bah. And throw daggers. And I was like, no, I need to keep my cool. And then I'm like, just give me an answer. If I support what you're doing, and if you want me to be there, I will be there. And he finally texted me back and was like, you know what? Everything is. Like, my ego is telling me like, no, don't come. I'm mad. But, yes, I would love you to be there. I'm like, perfect. I would love to be there for you. And again, it's like dropping the ego and not letting. This could have exploded into a huge fight. He could have got done with Warrior Week tomorrow. We had date night. We would have been pissed about because I didn't come speak and blah, blah, blah. So it, like, snowballs over two people dropping their fucking egos. And I had to do it, too. Like, I was like, I want to yell at Wu Foo document. Well, I'm just sharing, as a story, an example.

So talk to me about fighting. So inside of this, when fights are handled between us, we collide on a lot of topics, and we also collide in front of the kids. We collide, and we have less collisions now than we ever have because we've resolved so many different topics. But as we were trying to do this, like, there are certain topics that if I did not keep colliding with you on, I don't know if you would have changed. Sex was one of those topics. Colliding constantly.

It's interesting because you say colliding, and I think that's what works for you. And I don't know if I'm being, like, genuine with you guys. It's like, Garrett collides, and I'm like, the storm hit, and then all of a sudden I'm like, oh, this storm's, like, calm. I don't know specifically what I'm doing, but it's like all of a sudden we collide, and all of a sudden it's peaceful. And maybe it's just, like, a shock and pattern. I don't know. Maybe you could explain to me. I'm just wondering, because you're like, I constantly collide. Would you keep doing. And I'm like, I don't know. Like, does there need to be a collision? Probably at some point. And that's just how you operate. That's not necessarily how I operate. Are there any men in here that don't maybe that are not as, like, Garrett, where you're like, does every man just collide? And they're like, we need to do this? Really?

How many of you collide?

How many? Does anybody just kind of get quiet? Like, I mean, is that a girl thing? I don't know. Like, withdraw? You know what I mean? Yeah. I don't know.

Fuck you, Garrett.

Well, no, like, I imagine, like, there's some men that probably aren't as vocal as Garrett, and maybe they retreat. I know as a woman, I kind of retreat, but I've met a lot of men that their energy or personality seems like they might be like me. And so if you retreat, I'm wondering what. How that's.

No, Like, I'm straight.

How do you collide?

Asking you, do you think you would have shifted if I had not continued to collide? We ended up a therapy over another collision about a house. You said, get a house.

Okay, don't hate me for saying this. Don't hate me for saying this. But I think the collision is for you because that's how you learn. And I learned too. But I think that's what you're like. You feel like we broke through. And if I'm being 100% honest, I'm like, oh, God, that was really hard. And I'm. I maybe shift, but I think that works for you.

So if I don't collide, do you change?

I think I slowly observe and kind of change, and I'm like, what's he doing? What's he doing? Like, what's going on here?

Like, over a decade.

It's gonna take a little longer.

Yes, like, over a decade. Like, whatever change I want in two days is gonna take 10 years. Okay, so let's continue on some questions. All right, so, kids, one of the confusing roles that starts to exist in this.

I think you need collision, but not over everything. Let's just leave it at that.

Did you just want the last word on.

Yep, I win.

All right. Parenting. So one of the things that ends up happening in this is guys are being encouraged to go more all in with their kids. How many of you, after coming to Warrior, find yourself spending way more energetic time trying to relieve your wife from time with the kids. You're spending more time with your children. Raise your hands up. Okay, cool. So in that, it creates a new chaos because guys are trying to figure out the role. Women are trying to figure out the role in the parenting game. And it become a very intense game for guys where we're trying to help with the kids, but still hunt and produce and trying to be almost caregivers and producers. I feel like this creates some chaos. Talk to me about, like, how to. How in your mind, how do we manage this co parenting both as man and woman with kids?

It's funny. Garrett. Garrett's always been really involved with our girls. Like, that's just his personality. Such, like a fun dad. Like, he works a ton. But I've never known you to not take time for your girls ever. Like you say in the beginning, like, you didn't. But, I mean, they were little, and I think it's harder for men to connect when they're babies and that kind of thing. But when our kids became kids, you're very much. You've just always been a really good dad, I would say, on that side, from a woman's perspective, one thing that is hard for me is we feel so much pressure and guilt from, like, being away from our kids, even if we work or if we don't work. And so when Garrett says, hey, take some time. Let me spend time with the kids, the one thing I would encourage you not to do. And you're good now, but there's been times in the past, like, it's like you take the kids, but then you use it as, like, leverage for your wife later. Like, well, I had the kids all afternoon, so you should be grateful. Like, I'm like, no, I wanted you to be with the kids because you wanted to be with the kids. So don't use this as leverage on me. So that's like, I think. I mean, I don't know how. I think it's important to take time to be with your kids. But what was this question specifically, how to co parent?

Like, we learning how to manage the relationship with. As a husband and wife and having children, you and I are both creating. Right. This will kind of transition. Next question. As you've risen in power empowerment, your masculinity is also risen. Right. And so there's this collision that also exists inside of you raising in masculine power. And sometimes our collisions are not, you and I as a couple colliding. It's like two masculine energies colliding. While you're in business grind mode. I'm in business grind mode. Plus, we have kids and we collide, and it's no longer two. And it's not lovers colliding. It's not partners colliding. It's like two dudes colliding.

So what's your question?

Like, how do you, like, as you're rising up and you're with. You have gotten more powerful, and I have created space deliberately to help you be more powerful, and you've chosen to create that power, and the masculine energy in you rises up. It doesn't make you a dude, but you end up. And I end up colliding.

Yeah, there's a lot, like, aggressive. So is your question, like, finding that balance?

How do you balance that and the fact that we have children? Because in that mode, neither one of us are caregiver we're both, like, colliding producers you hire. Is this question making sense, what I'm saying? Wave. Sphere of mind. Right. Femininity, kind of. It's like, as you've become more confident, your certainty in your masculine side has risen. And in that.

So how do you balance.

Our collisions are bigger because you have, like, you'll tell me to fuck off where in the past you wouldn't, and you'll take a stand in ways that you wouldn't take before as you gain more confidence and certainty and yourself. And that's a different kind of collision. You were talking about this this morning.

I know. Well, I feel like as couples grow, whether they work, the wife works or she doesn't. Because a lot of times the wife is doing. Managing the home and the kids and, like, her. They kind of. We just take on this, like, I can do everything mode where it seems kind of masculine, but it's more, like, cold and calculated. I'm sure you guys have experienced that with your wives, and so maybe that's whether you work or not. But you just. You're not very feminine. You're, like, in focus mode. You know what I mean? And, like, you're in focus mode. And so you're just constantly. Both sides of the party are trying to just get shit done. And so it's like finding. We constantly battle. Like, and I'm sure, like, every couple does, where you just feel like you're roommates and you literally have to, like, take time to connect and, like, put everything else aside. But I feel like it's still something we're working on, like, just. Because the more you guys push your wives to change, the more you're gonna have to be like, oh, wow, I don't know if I wanted this.

Like, how many of you said, the more you are encouraging change, she actually rises in power and there's even more collisions. Raise your hand.

But what I've noticed is, yeah, it's like. It's like, I want Garrett to be the man, but it. And so it's like. It's just such a give and take. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you have to know when to put the gas and when to put the brakes and. And it's just like, it's a balancing act. I mean, and I can tell, too, when there's times when we're both in, like, kind of masculine energy, and that's when the only thing I can say is, like, we go out on date night, like, and just chill out and reconnect and Talk and hang out. And it's important, like, we have somebody who helps us with our kids. And I don't know, because now, at.

First it was me personally.

I think it's weird now.

It's like you are just as active to push and.

Because I realize how much you can slip into just, like, roommate mode and there's still a love and respect there, but you're like, yeah, I love you, but there's not, like that fire. You know what I mean? It's just like, there's not that chemistry that was there, maybe when you were dating. There's not that excitement. And you're just like, oh, well, I've been married forever, so that's just how it is. And I disagree. I. I've seen some of your stuff az on Garrett, and I feel that spark with you and Carla, too. I'm like, that's cool. Like, you can see it. And. And so it's. I think a lot of people have been married for a while, and they just don't think it's possible. And it is. You. You have to literally, like, reconnect and kind of, I don't know, date night. For us, in the beginning, a lot of times we would just sit and fight, and I'm like, this is fucking stupid. Like, I didn't like you. We're paying a babysitter to fight. That's cool. And then somewhere along the lines, I was like, you know, when, like, the fighting cooled down and we were, like, in a better space, all of a sudden, I was like, I like you. And it was just enjoyable. And the other thing, too, is, like, we could be together as a couple and things were just, like, calm, where there's times where you can be together as a couple and things are quiet, but it's awkward. Do you know what I mean? And so you've got to, like, work on getting in this space of like, like, connecting and peace and, like, date night. If you're consistent with it, we'll do that. And you're going to have battles, and you're going to have. I mean, you're going to have battles, but you just stay consistent with it like you would with anything. In my post I wrote today, I was like, we expect to be an expert at so many things, except for when it comes to relationships. We're willing to let that be kind of like a hobby. And you can't really expect to be good at it if you're not willing to put in the time to do so. And we all know, I believe, know what that looks like. We want to ask other people and say, what are you doing? But if we sit back and look to when you had chemistry with your significant other, what did it look like? And what were you doing? And try to recreate that. And eventually, over time, she might be like, wow, this is fun. This is cool. I kind of like you again, or I like you more, or. You know what I mean? So that, I don't know. Date night's extremely important. And we were talking to another couple recently and. And we were talking about. Sometimes with. Even with Garrett, like, two weeks will go by. Maybe if we didn't have a date night for some reason he's traveling or whatnot. And it's. It's kind of awkward when you come back together. You're like, hey, you. Like, it's kind of this weird energy where the guy's probably sexually frustrated and the girl's, like, pissed because she's like, where have you been? Like. But she's trying to be supportive because the guy's working and providing for the family. But it's a weird collision of energy, you know? Wouldn't you guys agree, like, if you haven't.

How many of you have had this experience?

So it's like you want to be with each other, but you're like. And you think it's gonna be like the movies, and you're just gonna, like, run and collide in each other's arms. And you're like, I kind of don't like you. We should probably go out. Like, it's weird. And so I always. I know we said this at some of your other events, but, like, you kind of have to go back and you kind of have to fake it for a minute, you know? And you can't, like, get pissed, and you can't. You just kind of have to allow to, like, let go of your ego, reconnect. And if both needs are met, then that's when the chemistry builds, and that's when there's that connection. So.

So I have. I'm going to blend, like, two questions together.

Cool.

So I have. See, I'm going to take under topic of trust and also the topic of growth. So I have. With building our first businesses and then losing all our businesses and not being able to pay rent, pay the mortgages, pay the bills, and putting a lot of my own frustration on you and violating your trust as a producer and then getting so distant with you that I decided to make decisions to find that connection somewhere else, and she did. And then that left you in this place of where. And I've spent the past seven years fighting to dig myself out of those holes and those stories. What has been. Been the place from your side as a wife, on the other side of the distrust for me as a producer and as a partner, how have you been able to rise from that place when you had every permission slip in the world to say, fuck this guy, I'm out.

I don't think I knew who I was as a person, and I was scared and I don't know. I think that was. The cool thing about us is, like, we literally kind of, like, relived and rebuilt and. You know what I mean? It took a while to build that trust up, and I feel like just in the last year, I'm finally like. I'm feeling more that calm, you know, like, okay, we're good. We're safe and things are good. But it just. We were on such a roller coaster for quite. I would say, like three to four years after that that I was like, holy shit. Like, I just keep having to, like, choose in. But it. I felt like it was almost like in work when you decide to invest in something and you're like, oh, it doesn't. Doesn't seem that hard, like, whatever. And you invest in it, and then you're like, oh, this is a lot harder. And then you keep going. You're like, oh, this is a lot harder. You keep going, this is a lot harder. And then you're like, I'm too far invested. I gotta just figure this out. And you choose to make whatever situation you're in work out because you're so invested in whatever it is. And that's kind of how I felt with our relationship. I don't think I had the strength to walk away. I mean, I was like. Had just had a baby and I was like. And I don't know, like, just having a baby, I thought it's. It's. I wasn't ready to, like, let it go. You know what I mean? I'm like, we have a little family, and it just. I wasn't at the point where I was like, yeah, I'm gonna let it go. And I feel like I had to find myself as a person. And now it's at a point where we're both, like, confident and producing. And so now it's in a cool place because we're both choosing to be here not because we need one another, but because we want to be here. And that's a scary yet fun place to be in. In your relationship. So Yeah, I guess I just. I didn't feel like I had the confidence to really go anywhere. I was scared, and I wasn't ready to be done. And then it was just. I just kept reinvesting in us and in you and the family.

What had you continue to believe? Like, there were years I was not showing any sign of turnaround. I was just continuing to be fucking lost and spiral out and hang out with gypsies and try to meditate all day.

No, I saw progression, though. Like, I saw progression. I saw, like, some lows, but I definitely. I don't know. Honestly, there were so many times where I'd be like, I think that actually helped me to become, like, find myself a little bit, because I was like, you know what? Maybe he's not supposed to produce. Maybe I'm supposed to produce. Maybe I'm supposed to put on those shoes. Like, I don't know, maybe I. Maybe I can do this. And who knows? If things happen for a reason, maybe that's Garrett's and I. Relationships are always like. You know, and it's. So maybe that was my time to figure out who I was as a person and kind of go from there.

So, final question, right? What does it feel like now versus what it felt like in 2009, which was probably right around 9 and 10 when Ruby was born. Probably our darkest and the most confusing and chaotic time for us, you know, fast forward seven years. What's it feel like to be you and to be married and to be in this game living the warriors way versus where we were?

It's cool. It's funny because I don't feel like I've changed that much as a person, but then when I look back, I'm like, wow, that's really cool.

So what's it feel like today, like, when you. If you were to describe being married?

It's almost like I'm addicted to the high of growing. And it makes me feel like comfortable is no longer an option. And it doesn't have to be, like, scary and colliding, but it. But it just. It's like, almost like progressing as a person is now like a high. You're like, oh, how could I stay here when there's like, the sky's the limit. Do you know what I mean? And it just. Now I feel like I'm in a phase with us where it's like, in a healthier, healthier space where it's. But there. For a while there, it was like, up and down and up and down and scary and in and out and just, I don't know, it was just chaotic. And so now I look at where we're at now in our lifestyle and I just, the only thing I feel is like just grateful and like humble and just excited to be here. But then I'm like, if this happened in the last five years, I'm like, what's going to happen in the next five years? And I get glimpses of it and I'm like, oh shit, that's cool. You know, So I don't know, I just, it's, it's a, it's, it's just crazy what's happened in five years. You know what I mean? So I feel like life's like 10 speed for us for some reason.

Is this valuable? Yeah, we're going three Clapper two Clapper.

In just a second. Mike, I got a three.

And then we're gonna write down the number one thing that you're taking from this conversation. Like this is the difference heading into 2017 team is that the women of Warrior are going to begin having a voice in what we do and sharing from their place what they've been seeing. And from the founders which are you here in this room, we're going to start calling on you and giving your wives an opportunity to have a voice with the whole program we're launching called dateyourwife.com like $3400 domain. Got the idea. One guy with Jeremy and just giving an opportunity for the women to have her voice and to share. And Carla, one of the originals and they each have Katie and Deshaun and your wife. Like have you wives be able to say, you know, what is it like your wife to watch you rejecting her forever and then to watch her step in as like the king queen right next to the king inside your own business running the day to day operations now that's a fucking huge leap from where you were three years ago when you got here. Russ, you amica, same situation. There's so many powerful women who are growing with the men in this room and we want them to be able to hear and to have a place to share and speak. So it's exciting.

So we'll be your mediators.

We're your crash test dummies and there's a few other crash test dummies who actually went out ahead of us. Now there's like about probably nine or 10 couples that are just willing to relentlessly test the shit out of new strategies with the warriors. Way to take us all to another place. So with that being said, we're going to wrap up this segment and improper warrior style, my friends. We are going to put a little two clap together for my wife. Babe, stand up.

Can I put it on my Insta story?

Yeah. She's marketing. Always marketing. Yes. She's a leader, not a savior. Okay, you ready?

No, hold on.

So she dominates on Instagram and her blog. Wait for the first time.

Okay, tell me when you're ready.

All right?

Yeah.

Stand up.

I'll lead it.

You're going to lead the two cop Boom.

No, you lead it. I'm just gonna mix. Everyone see it? Tell me when you're ready.

And now our speaker, Danielle K. Wait. With a little too quack. Two quack.

Thanks, guys.

Hi, gentlemen. In your books as we go. Okay. I thought I'd throw on my helmet here. I had my headgear and give you the 411. Real vision here. Yes. I put on the headphones and the microphone. Not even necessary, but I thought I would do it here for this video. Anyways, to end this off, here's the deal. You just got done watching a clip of Danielle and I at the Warrior Empire event in December of 2016. That's here a year and a half ago. That was the very first time that Danielle went on camera to share her ideas around living the Warriors. We asked her some powerful questions, some very intense questions. Hope you enjoyed them again. We'll be back next week with a live episode with both of us, but we had to throw one in the mix here for you because we were both out of town and did not have the studio close by and the schedules did not permit. So enjoy, and we look forward to seeing you next week as we continue to roll down this date your wife podcast experience.