Addiction and Sedation

Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Date you Write podcast. I'm the wife, and this is my date. We are. We've been doing this podcast for probably about six years on and off, but in the last year, we've been very consistent. And I feel like we were married, got divorced. We didn't get divorced, but then we kind of emotionally got divorced, then got back together and had two more kids. We have four daughters. We have toddlers and teenagers. And most days we're like, whose idea was that? What you got yours on for?

But this is what Deion Sanders does, so I'm gonna go for it.

Cool. I'll just call you Big D. Big.

D. You know, that's what I want.

You to come to school.

You just call you Big D?

Yeah. I thought it was like. I'm like, is that a confident. No, I think it's because I was like, you can't call me. You can't call me Danny or Dan. And I don't know. I think they thought it was funny because I'm like, Big D. Like, I was like, like, walking down the high school, and you think they were, like, talking to their football buddies and Big D, they literally say it like that. I was like, oh. I wouldn't respond, but my mind immediately.

Goes to Big Dick.

Well, that's why it was also confusing.

Oh, boy. Well, listen, we just got back from Cancun.

Yep.

We just celebrated my 40th birthday.

Your 40th?

My 48th birthday.

I thought you said my 40th.

Did I say 40th?

It sounded like it, but.

Oh, well, 48th birthday and also Father's Day, but I was actually gone for my kids. We're doing the Father's Day party tonight here at the house. A lot of things happen on the trip. One of the things that happened on the trip is I am now breaking my addiction for the third time.

Oh, my gosh.

God. I'm like, relapse. I should do an M and M video on this.

Yeah. Don't drink Feel Freeze. Kids, stay away from the feel Freeze. Stick to tequila.

Okay, listen, There is a blue bottle tonic out in the marketplace. It was deeply immersive into the entrepreneur space. When I was trying to stop drinking alcohol two years ago, a friend of mine gave me some feel free tox these blue boxes. I started doing plant medicine at the time, and I felt kind of guided to get away from alcohol and because I felt like it was making me stupid and I was making a lot of bad decisions, and it was kind of putting Me in a pit in a hole every night. And I felt like I was having to dig out of the pit and hole every single morning. And so I started drinking these feel freeze. And in the beginning, they were amazing. Recommendation dose. One per day. That's recommendation, not 10. They say start with half a bottle.

Oh, I drink. I've only drank them.

And then max, one bottle a day. That's great. So, you know, I figured if one was good, two would be better. If two were great, four might be amazing. If four were great, eight might be fantastic.

You just always look tired.

Were amazing and fantastic, then 12 is definitely where I should be. I get to a point, I was drinking a box a day.

Those are bad.

Oh, my God, dude. Even.

How do you feel now, though?

Like, I have all this energy, and I'm kind of.

I realized you always looked tired. Like, I could always tell when you were like, the dosage up, going up and up and up. And I was like, I'm not gonna say anything. I'm like, I'm. It makes me like. Like, be like, why do you want to do this, like, all day, every day? But I was like, oh, well, he'll figure it out.

Well, even the teams this morning were just like, hey, bro, you're alive. You're left. You look. Your eyes. Your eyes are alive.

Yeah, it's always, your eyes are alive.

And I was like, yeah, dude, as well. It's because mine was a week off of. Feel free.

How you feel, though? Good.

I feel good. They didn't throw them away in the garage. They were supposed to throw them away while I was gone. You know what Naomi told me?

What?

She said, no, no, no. For you to end the curse of this in the name of Jesus, you need to throw it out.

Oh, okay.

You need to do it. You have to give it up. I can't do it for you.

I've been there. But.

And she said, literally, I want you to take them, pour them out, and in the name of Jesus, be done with them. And I was like, she's very, very, very spiritual.

Oh, she wanted you to say that.

She wants me to say in the name of Jesus and dump them all out.

Oh, okay.

Problem is there's, like, eight boxes of 12, which is, like, 96. In the name of Jesus.

In the name of Jesus.

In the name of Jesus. In the name of Jesus. I wonder if I could just do a name of Jesus over the who. Smash them and throw them in a dumpster.

I'm certain you could.

So anyways, they're down There in the garage still.

But what's weird, you got to get rid of them. Because then you think about it, it's like me with treats in the house. If they're not in the house, I'm like, I can't have a treat. It's not. There's literally nothing in there.

I knew I had a problem, though.

Yeah.

It's not like I didn't know I had a problem. It's not like I didn't know I have a problem last year and up to June, when I quit the first year, I think.

I think it's like, a problem last.

Year, only I was only doing, like, seven or eight a day. When I quit in June last year.

I remember having this conversation with you because you started smoking cigars a lot, and I was like, oh, scars. Like, they're gross. Like, they smell like they.

So I went back to feel free.

It's always like. Your breath always smelled like cigars. Your hair. You were wearing a beer at the time. Your beard always smelled like cigar. I was just like, oh, can we do something besides a cigar?

So I went back to feel free.

So then you were like, you drove.

Me back into my lover's arms.

No, you. You literally told me. You're like, how do people just do nothing? I'm like, I don't know, like, the shit we run, like, with our kids and our businesses. And I'm like, there's gotta be, like, I believe that every human being has some kind of, like, sedation tool. Right? It's like mine. I like drinking tequila. I also like shopping. Like, two things that I. Those are things that I'm like, I probably should reel it in most of the time.

Do you know what? I'm actually get higher off of selling.

Oh, yeah. That's fun, too. See, and that's. Here's what's so crazy.

Way more high selling.

I. Here's the funny thing. I would agree with that. And teaching, for me, like, I'll be. If I'm, like, in a class and I'm, like, teaching the students and they're, like, all into it. I'm like. It's like, hi. I'm like, this is awesome. You know what I mean? So. But then there's also, like, there's the high. Like, selling's a high. I enjoy selling. If I'm on the phone and I'm, like, talking somebody into it, and I hit that close, I'm like, yes, I knew it. And I also believe in, like, the product, and you're helping that, but it's not the same as like shutting off your brain. So it's like, for me, I don't know about you, but, like, I literally can have a hard time shutting off my brain. And any kind of sleep medication I've tried or even smoking weed does the exact opposite. Even the Sativa one, the kids were like, try this. And all night I'm in this like freaking Alice in Wonderland crazy dream. And I'm like, smoke sativa, indica, whatever.

One is a sleepy one, because in the couch. That's a good, a bad one.

Okay, well, that's the one they gave me. I literally had like. I think I had maybe three hits. And I. And I've done this a couple times with the kids. And every time I'm like, my brain is just like, like, it's just like. It's like my body's asleep and my brain cannot shut off.

People think it's weird that we smoke weed with our four and two year old.

Okay, we do not smoke weed with her four and two year old. The nanny puts the four and two year old to sleep. And yes, we partake in with older kids that are responsible adults.

Almost responsible. And almost. Well, I guess Parker's responsible.

24 and engaged.

Nearly an adult.

And Bailey's almost. She's 17, her boyfriend's 18, and he has an actual card, weed card. Okay, you know what this is? I go to Bailey's room this morning and it just smells like. It just smells like so much weed. And I was like, I'm sorry. I'm like, I know you have a cool mom. You can send me pictures of your pink bong that you just paid $100. And I'm like, good for you, babe. I'm like, I don't want to smell this shit in my house. I said, so if I smell this shit in my house, I will take this cute pink bong that you bought and I will throw it off the balcony.

Can you do that and not smash it in the bedroom again?

I missed the last bong in the bed. It was in the middle of the night. I felt like we were getting hot box in our upstairs.

You could smell weed coming through the doors.

It was like seeping through the doors. And we have a big house. And I was like, why do I feel. And I'm like, it's like 12:30. And I like go in Bailey's room and she just looks at me like deer in the headlights, like, oh, shit. And I was like delirious.

And I mentioned and finished the story. Who else Was in her room, her.

Boyfriend, which she's not supposed to have her boyfriend in her room. So I literally was like, kay, you know the rules. And now you're just both looking at me like, like, like they weren't doing anything except for smoking.

They were high as balls.

They were high as balls. So I picked it up and I opened the door and I was trying to throw it outside and somehow I didn't know it was glass. I was just pissed and trying to get rid of it. And anyway, so seemed. It seemed aggressive.

So Danielle literally picked up the bong, smashed it on the floor. I'm in a bedroom and I hear this going on. She's like, can you smell somebody on. I was like, yeah.

I literally was like. It woke me up.

I know. And then I hear the smash and I'm like, oh, my gosh. So then I go in there and Bailey and Danny are sitting there like, danny, you gotta go. Bye. Bye. I'm like, bailey, what are you doing? But I could tell Bailey's like too high to even understand what's going on. And there's glass all over the floor. And I'm like, oh, my gosh. Here we are. Yeah, well, listen, I mean, I. There. There's probably a whole lot to be said for not allowing the kids to smoke weed.

They're going to do it anyway.

At the same time, it's weird. Like, remember, I remember a few years ago when I was talking with Bailey and I was like riding her about some stuff, and she said, well, I have two choices. She's like, what? It's like I can put on a show like all my friends do for their parents.

Yeah.

They go to private Catholic school. They wear their skirts, they wear their shirts. They're super nice. They're shake everyone's hands. They always do their homework, et cetera. You know what? These girls have all like 25 guys, each one of them. These girls drive out to what's it Wasn't the city out in the.

Oh, coda. Is it not Coda. I can't remember.

Yeah. Amber, was that desert city out like Palm Springs? Palm Springs? Is that it? Palm Springs? Yeah. These girls, 15, 16. 15. 16 year old girls will drive out to Palm Springs.

Are you sure it's Palm Springs?

Is it Palm Springs? Isn't the desert place out here?

No, there's something that. Like the Palm Springs. I'll go have parties.

Yes. That's in Arizona, not Palm Springs. What's the one in. In California, it's like two hours that way.

It's Palm Springs.

No, Palm Springs in Arizona.

Palm Springs is not in Arizona.

It's not in California. It is in California.

Yes. Oh, my God.

You guys are. All right. I'm wrong. Okay, good. So speed capital of the world. Here we go. Good. So we had to. The team is confirming me that it's actually here. So they will go out to Palm Springs.

Okay.

Have orgy sex with grown asshole men, take home $10,000, and then come back here.

This is just all stories.

This is not. I even know some of these girls.

But I do.

These are same girls selling their feet on the Internet.

Here's what I do know. I hear a lot of the stories going around, and I'm like, Bailey's got a boyfriend. She doesn't really drink or party that much. She likes to smoke weed. And, like, so what? Like, every kid's gonna, like, like, I feel like the more Bailey's was similar to me. Like, the more I would try. My parents would try to control me, the more trouble I got in. So my parents kind of. I. They didn't. I kind of just raised myself. I, like, feel like I was like, you can't tell me what to do. But also, I don't think I'm a bad kid, and I kind of feel like that's how Bailey is. So I was like, I can try to control her, but she's not really mine to control. Like, I'm gonna try and lead her and guide her and be an examp best I can. But, like, I. I just knew from, like, the time she was, like, super little, I was like, she gonna do her own thing. All right, you guys, quick interrupt. First off, thank you so much for listening to this podcast. I hope that you're getting a ton of value. Garrett and I started doing this probably about five years ago, and we love sharing more of our story. If you are interested in fashion, fitness, hair, I would definitely encourage you to check out my blog@DanielleKWhite.com I'm the creator of Naturally to Rohair Extensions, but I have five beautiful daughters and a crazy story. So to follow along again, check out Danielle K. White dot com.

Wow. Her point was valid. She's like, you can. I can be a faker and be proper up front and then be a complete whore behind, or I can just be myself in front of you all the time.

Yeah, but you got to limit. Like. Like today, like, I was like, listen, I know you are excited about this pink bong. You even sent me a picture. I was like, cute, babe. I was like, If I smell weed in my house one more time, I will throw that away. I don't want to smell that. And I also have two young kids and I don't really want them to seem like, what's this pink thingy like? I'm like, no. I'm like, so even though I feel like I'm open minded, I still have standards. I'm like, okay, I agree.

I don't disagree.

So you're Oxyfeel. Freeze. You feel good?

Yeah. Feeling really good. Feeling great. Feeling very energized, Feeling very alert. Feeling very ready to go. I've been ready to go. I also think too, as I was kind of talking about this in a stack for those who aren't familiar with stacking, maybe new to the show. Like, this is a tool that I use and thousands of our users use on the platform at Warrior app to be able to have conversations with themselves, deal with their own emotions, thoughts and feelings, but also be able to connect and commune with God. Just have these powerful conversations with God inside of this tool, asking you specific questions about your life and your day and your feelings. And I was sitting there in dialogue about it with my feel free just two days ago and message pretty clear to me was like, hey, listen, there was a season where this was needed because alcohol was just too much. What you're doing with alcohol is out of control. Like it was affecting everything you could not.

You're angry a lot on your drinking.

Yep. And it was just, it was not good. So then we. You went well, you went to feel free, which was great. There's no problem going to feel free. Even the amounts that you were drinking weren't a problem. You went to feel free so that you could create it. And we and Jeff were talking about it too. There were a lot. I operated as a different leader in the last two years with feel free. Like a lot of my really quick, responsive reactiveness, punch you in the throat was like gone. And so I'd listen to people and I was open to listening to people. And I got all this wisdom and experience sitting and listening to people. If I go back to alcohol. You and I were instilled a lot of chaos during a lot of those years too, trying to figure each other out. And drinking allowed me not to engage in certain ways. So like, I can almost see there's a utility to all of these sedation tools at times just to be able to assure that you can survive or endure a period of time versus blood.

There's a where you cross the line, where like, it's physically like affecting your sleep, your eyes look sleepy and things like that. Because I even. I mean, I tell people all the time, I'm like, I really enjoy drinking tequila. I'm like, I don't venture pretty much anywhere else. I'm like, I don't do drugs. I don't. Never tried drugs. Smoked weed a couple times. I'm like, I don't care. And there were so many times being raised in the Mormon frame where I had so much guilt just around drinking in general, right? And then you have some women who drink a bottle of wine every night, and that's socially acceptable, right? So for me, I remember it was during one of my fitness competitions and I was like, oh, my trainer would always ride my ass and be like, you gotta stop drinking. I was like, I don't. I'm like, dude, I'm like, I'm not going to totally stop drinking. I'm just not going to do that. And I just stopped telling her. I was like, yep, I'm doing good. Because I'm like, I'm like 98% on my diet, right? And so I realized I remember having like this kind of, I call it, conversation with God or higher self or what are you going to do? And I remember having this like, conversation of like, tequila is not the problem. It's the guilt that you hold this, this bottle. It's the guilt that you're, like, letting this feel this way. And I'm like, okay, so, yeah, I need to like, reel it in at times. But I was like, okay, am I like, waking up not functioning? I'm like, no. I'm like, sometimes on the weekend, sure, maybe I have too much fun or whatever. I was like, but if I look at how I look, how I operate, I was like, oh, it's not necessarily the tequila. And the guilt is almost causing me more, like, stress right now. Don't get me wrong. Like, there's times where I'm like, ah, I did that to myself. And I go way overboard. But for the most part, I had to, like, find this balance of like, okay, like, you can partake in this. You don't have to go 100%. No, but I don't know if, like, for you, what that's like, because I don't. But you've been doing good, like with me on the weekends when we go out and you have a couple of cocktails and like, whatever, you know. So I don't know if that's kind of like what you are gonna go back to or you Just have like such an obsessive personality that.

I'm Yana Bryce. Smoked cigar.

What? I'm gonna smoke cigar every day though.

Maybe.

I think what I don't like about cigars too though is it takes you a full hour to go through.

That's why I like it.

But then I'm like, cool, you. So you get done with work and you're like, I gotta go smoke my cigar.

And I'm like, you could come sit with me.

I don't want to. That's gross.

Oh, why?

I know. Because I don't want to smell like smoke. Plus I wear hair extensions and like, you ask any girl if she wants stinky, smoky hair. Okay, so then you're like, you get done with work and like, I'm gonna go smoke my scar. When you were smoking your scars, I was bugged because I was like, oh, well, we don't get to see until 7:30, kids. Sorry. Like, he's got to. It takes him an hour to go through that. Like, feel free. You just take a sip.

Now you know why I went back. Feel free.

I don't know, I.

Well, I did because you were giving me so much over the cigars.

It was like three or four a day.

Not three or four.

It was at least three. Morning, afternoon and evening.

Now some days.

Okay, well, I just, I don't like the smell of smoke. And it just seemed like you'd get done with work and it was like you, I like, you were like. And. Or like we'd be on like the end of date night. You're like, I'm going to go smoke my scar. I'm like, no, come hang. Let's go hang out. Like, I don't want. You're like, come on, hang out here with me. I'm like, and I will. If I go in Cancun, I did because we were both drinking and then I don't notice the smell. But for the most part I think it's not even. It's. It's not even that I care that you smoke. I'm not judging the smoke. I just, it smells and it seems time consuming, so.

I gotcha.

So I'm just like wondering, what, what are you. What's your gonna be your. What's gonna be your thing that you like? I feel like everybody has this, this thing. They like, they just need to decompress and turn the brain off. Or is it just something we tell ourselves and it becomes a pattern for sure.

How that. And do I need a scar?

I find for me limitations on Patterns is what works.

Well, you, you have a lot of constriction on patterns. But, you know, you have your own stuff too, for sure. The only difference is your stuff doesn't, you know, smell like a cigar.

No. And I don't feel bad about it.

Oh, yeah. I don't feel bad about the scar either. I know. And I don't, I don't.

I'm not judging you for, I don't care if you smoke. I'm just saying I don't like how they smell and I don't like that. It, in my experience, it was like time consuming. I'm like, oh, I went to wait an hour every night, Dad's got to go smoke his cigar, you know? So I was like, well, that was.

The last transition I was in. And that's when I went like three, four months without feel free. And I was way better human. Way better human. The crazy part is on feel free, I was better human than I was on alcohol. No matter how much you think I wasn't. When I was drinking like five, six shots of vodka every night, that wasn't good.

That wasn't good.

I mean, now it wasn't that. So for like two years, I got away from vodka. Oh. I went from vodka to IPAs, from IPAs to feel freeze to cigars. And I think after cigars, I'm done.

I think you can have all of it.

No, I think you can have none of it.

I think you can. I think you can fuck it all. Okay, what if it's like, it's Friday night and you're like, I'm smoke my cigar. Or you're like, it's Friday night, I'm going to go have a couple drinks with my wife. Or it's Sunday, it's my birthday and the kids are here. I'm going to have a margarita with my wife.

You gonna have tequila once a week?

No, that's silly. But I am.

So you want me to have a cigar once a week, but you don't have to.

No, what I'm saying is like, for me, like, if I have a drink or two at night, I don't put any mixers in it. I just keep it neat. And I don't have, I don't even drink caffeine. I drink no substance throughout the whole day. Every once in a while I have a diet Coke and I do like a half a scoop of a pre workout. Like, I don't have any other stimulants in my body at all. So when I look at the amount of like energy drinks people consume. I'm like, wait, you can have 4 Celsius, but I can't have a shot or two of tequila?

I was saying you can have a shot or two.

It's like, interesting. So I find you have to create your own rules based off of what works for you. So I'm like, okay, if I keep limitations, I'm like, I could probably have two shots of tequila every night and still get on stage and win a bikini competition. People be like, what? I'm like, yeah. They're like, that's crazy. I'm like, I know. I just decided that somebody created that rule that I couldn't do that. And I decided I didn't care and I knew my limitations and I ate perfect and I did my thing and I got on stage again and I was like, oh, wow. Because I even had a story. I was like, it's the tequila that's making me gain weight. I knew damn well it wasn't. It was the crumble cookie and the late night snacking and all this other stuff. And so I was like, okay, if I'm going to be really honest with myself and create my own rules, then if I like set limitations on based how I just show up day to day, then it works for me at some level.

I got it. A lot of people, alcohol, they don't drink any alcohol Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, or Monday to the Wednesday, Thursday. And then they'll drink either Thursday night or they'll drink Friday, and they don't drink Sunday night. So drink Thursday and Friday and Saturday night, and they don't drink Sunday, they don't drink Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.

I know I would say the majority of people I talk to, that's like, what they do.

But if we get pretty hammered on the weekends, I don't think, I don't think there's a way to get away from addiction.

But I'm just saying, is there? What's your addiction? So if I were to say, like, oh, I have a shot of tequila every single night, How I was raised, the definition of how I was raised, like, she's an alcoholic, she has a problem. I'm like, okay, but let's look at the life that I created for myself. And we're not. You're gonna judge me for that. But yet you're 50 pounds overweight and you're doing nothing with your life. So if I'm just looking off of results, like, how about you not judge me and create what works for you? And I'm gonna worry about me but.

Are you judging them for being 50 pounds overweight?

I mean, a little bit. I mean, I'm just saying, like, if.

We'Re speaking, I'm not judging you for the drinking.

If we're just thinking of like terms of like, oh, that's not healthy. I'm like, well, I don't think carrying an extra 50 pounds is healthy eating.

It's fine to wash. You're 50 pounds overweight and fat and you're lean and mean. Drinking tequila machine. It's like you bounce them two out. You're both if you're fat and if you're an alcoholic. It's like both.

It's like, no, but I'm saying both sides are, they would consider that like to be an alcoholic. I'm like, that's, that is. I'm like, welcome to Orange County. Most women have like two wine.

When we moved to Orange county too, we were, we were blown away. When we moved to Orange county too.

Oh, yeah.

I was like, first Halloween party, I remember like beginning the block party. Everybody's hammered.

Well, I remember going to like birthday parties. I'm like, you, you serve wine at birthday parties at 10am Cool.

Living here for a decade has completely changed the way that we see the world too. I mean, it does. It's just like a lot of those things changed. You know, you come from, from smaller communities. I mean, even when I lived in Stockton and Yakima, Washington, where I grew up, we were still kind of in a bubble Mormon community.

Here's what's so crazy. Even our day to day life, we think we're normal. And then like, it was so funny. I invited somebody on the podcast and I was like, hey, it's super chill. I do it at my house. Like, I'd love to have you on. And I was like, there's nothing super chill about this 25 million dollar house in Orange County. Like if somebody reached out to me, I'd be like, I mean, it is chill, but I'd be like, cool, you know, Like, I mean, it's like when you go down to who do we do a podcast down in la and we like, he's like, hey, come on down.

Oh yeah.

And like their office was pretty impressive. I was like, I'm impressed.

That's why they wanted us to come down, right? Let's go be with them. It was great. So there's a, that's Alberto. So there's a piece in this with addiction, the tension, because as an entrepreneur, as an entrepreneur more than anything, and now I know employees like, drink, like I was talking to the whole checkout crew. The hotel we went to, Viseroy in Cancun, there's two, two visore hotels we go to. There's one in Cabo. It's awesome. There's another one in Cancun. Awesome. Totally different hotels if you want. Really quiet. Snuck away. Very romantic. No noise. Unless of course, it's raining. And there's a tarpon here, which we'll talk about in a minute.

Oh yeah, I gotta share that story.

That piece is very secluded and like back in the jungle, it's very. The Caribbean feel, very humid. Etc. Then you go over to Cabo de Viceroy. It's like desert and see white, crisp, modern building. Super awesome.

Exceptionally different.

And then we found another hotel recently.

What is the name of that one?

Playa.

Oh, Casa de la Playa.

Never heard of it before. Went to dinner there after we went to explore.

We gotta stay there. But it's.

It's only all inclusive.

Yeah, but it's adults only.

It's the best food we had on trip.

Oh my God, it was so good.

And they're at an all inclusive resort.

Swimming pool is a pier. You guys. It's like, like, you're like, what is that? Am I looking at a pier? And it's literally like, it's a swimming pool that goes over the ocean. It's so cool.

I think that's a good way to describe it's like a pier swimming pool. It's like a pier that goes out into the ocean. It's like a pier, but it's a swimming pool out over the ocean.

Yeah.

The point is bringing all this. So it's like all. And through all of these as entrepreneurs, like traveling, etc, there's so much intensity on an entrepreneur's life.

Right?

And an entrepreneur's wife or husband, there's so much pressure as an entrepreneur. That's different. But even for regular employees, every day just like went on with the team at Viseroy. I was talking to them when we were leaving and they're like, oh, yeah, tomorrow's our day off. Because I tipped them all like 25 bucks each. And they're like, they were so thankful. And they're like, yeah, tomorrow's our day off. This will be perfect. This will cover us. And I'm like, well, we'll cover you. For us, like, oh, days off, we just drink beer all day. I was like, what does it look like? Oh, we have these drinks that are like this big. I was like, when do you start drinking? He's like 10 in the morning. I said, when are you done? When we pass out.

That's what he said.

I was like, well, you can. I can tell you clearly, you don't do any working out. And there's definitely no fitness. Mexicans are not into fitness, that's for sure. I saw one Jack Mexican the whole time I was down there. There was one. He was a surprise attack. He came up, I said, explore. And I was like, good for you, young man. He's like, yeah, I left a little bit. I was like, no shit, Good job. But it's everywhere, right? Like, so there's strategic sedation. I. You can't get away from it. So even guys will tell me, well, I don't drink. We have friends of ours, guys I'm close to, big social media influencers. They don't drink, they don't do drugs. They just work 20 hours a day, seven days a week. They go to the gym seven days a week. They have four cell phones and they're banging DM chat sales all day long.

For 20 hours a day, too.

But again, is it any better being in that environment? What kind of relationship is your spouse in that?

Right.

What kind of relationship have your kids in that? So every entrepreneur has an addiction. Some eat food and get fat. Some drinking, get fat. Some use drugs and kill themselves. Some go into the gym way too much and become Ironman triathlons. It's like an ironman triathlete. That's 30 hours of commitment per week. Bodybuilding, that's an addiction. I've never met such obsessive people in my life who feel lack of confidence.

Cyclists that go out and you're like, did you try it all day on a Saturday?

Six hours.

Yeah. You're like, that's six hours.

But that is an addiction.

Yeah.

So it's like I've been addicted to.

Working out for sure.

Everything we do as entrepreneurs, there's an addiction that we are living and fulfilling to survive. It's just some addictions are acceptable and some aren't.

It's interesting because, like, now I work out because I do enjoy it. But I got really addicted to the point where it was like after, I think Ruby or Bailey were. I was literally working out probably three hours a day. Three hours a day. I'd get up and I'd go work out for an hour and a half, and then I'd come home and work out for an hour and a half. I don't even know why. Like, I literally got addicted to the high, the endorphins. Cause I was always doing a lot of cardio. I loved putting on my music. And then I started to feel guilty if I didn't hit. I. At first it started out fun. I'm like, oh, this is so fun. I should do more of it. I love this high. I love these endorphins. And then it got to a point where, like, if I didn't get my three hours in, I felt like, guilty. And so then it became not fun anymore. So what served a purpose and was exciting and gave me endorphins became an addiction and went the total opposite way, where it's like, now I feel guilty. And then I was resentful about this thing that I love. And so over the years I was like, ah, I don't want to feel that way. But I do find the benefit for working out. I do love those endorphins. I do love getting outside. There's so many benefits to it. But it had crossed the line where even having a workout addiction can be a problem. So I was like, I'm not going to do that. But I do know that I want exercise and fitness to be a part of my life. But now, like, if I hit in, if I get in 45 minutes, I'm solid. I'm like, I got it. I hit my 45 minutes. I'm like, in fact, I get annoyed when I have to drive to Lifetime because that's going to take me an extra 30 minutes. Check the kids in. Like, I'm like, I don't have time for a two hour workout, even though half of it's spent driving. But just saying like, even something where people are like, you look at like super freak athletes, you're like, it's, we're great. You have a 12 pack. That's an addiction. We know what you have to do.

To get there and to keep it every day. Yeah, that's an addiction. So I don't think there's anyone who, no, there's no human being walking the planet doesn't have an addiction. We're all addicted to air.

But I think there's creating a healthy balance right where it's like, for me, like I said, I was like, okay, I'm. I'm like, I'm not gonna like, not work out anymore. So I had to find this balance of like, stop feeling guilty for not getting in three hours of working out. And then I had a really hard time with food for a while too, after one of my babies where it was like, starve, binge, starve, binge, starve. Binge, starve, binge. And then I, like, felt you. I mean, now we kind of laugh about it, but I'm like, I felt guilty eating a rice cake. I'm like, that's 30 calories. Why do I feel guilty? You know? So it's like, even then, I hated this roller coaster of like. Like when I became obsessed of something, you know? And you're like, you remember how. You're like, how much do you think about food? And I'm like, depends if I'm cutting or not. But it's like you have to find it like a healthy balance of everything. You have to find a healthy balance of like, okay, what's gonna work for me? Not what people are telling you what to do. It's like, yeah, you can take coaching, but ultimately it's like, what is going to give you the outcome that you're looking for?

Well, that decision is a personal one. And I can just fluid, fluidly changes. Like, everybody's going through so much. I mean, you take entrepreneurs, you're winning for a couple years, and then you get your ass kicked for a year or two, Then you win it for a few years and you're getting your ass kicked again. And then you decide to make a bigger move, and then you get your ass kicked in, and then you learn and grow, and then you grow and then you get your ass kicked again. It's like there's this constant beat down that happens in entrepreneurism that just keeps compelling you to break and grow and be rebuilt. Break and grow and be rebuilt. Break and grow and be. Be rebuilt. And some of the process just to be able to not destroy the kingdom does require strategic sedation, period.

But even if you're.

There's some marriages that would not be ended had guys just drank themselves asleep that night.

There were some marriages, there'd be some.

Marriages that would have not ended had guys just drank themselves asleep and went to bed. They just had five shots straight, quick, real fast, put themselves out and then go to sleep. Yeah, they didn't matter because then they wouldn't say stupid shit. They wouldn't do stupid shit like cheat. They wouldn't do things that they would regret. Just like, take the drinks, go to bed. It's like almost like tranquilizing yourself to assure you don't do something stupid. So I know a lot of guys in our warrior programs who actually, like, strategically use sedation to be able to deal with things. They'll come off of long work situations like the hard transition for a guy. I don't Know how it is for you. It's hard as a guy to go from the business world to transition into family world, because all day long I've been like, motherfucker. And I'd be like, bam. And I. Driving people to do things, leading teams, making sales, writing copy, pitching ads, doing the thing, raising the teams, talking to the attorneys, going through the accountants with the CFO doing all this. And then I walk through the door, and I got a little daughter that's four with lipstick on her face, and she wants to kiss my lips and put lipstick on them.

I think for women, it's not as like, punch it in the face, but it's like, you just gotta unplug. You're like, okay, now I've gotta disassociate with work and turn my brain off and stay present with the kids. Although when you're an entrepreneur, you're like, your brain never turns off. There's always shit. And even if there's not shit to be doing, and your teens have it covered, creative personalities are always thinking of the next move. They're like, okay, where can I take this? Where am I gonna go? And so even for me, like, my teams help a lot, and I shouldn't be stressed, but I'm still striving to, like, push my business forward. And so say if I'm doing a trainee or whatever and I come home, I'm like, okay, I need to quiet my brain. I have to, like, be present. I've got to, like, not follow up anymore. I've got to physically move my phone and go plug it in somewhere else so that I can just, like, chill with the kids. So I get it, too. It's. It's less of, like, you know, less of, like, aggressiveness, but it's more of, like, you got to. Okay, now there's work, Garrett, and then there's be present, be family gear. And sometimes that's hard to do, depending on what you have going on, like when you have events.

And I can always hard to do for guys, but.

But even for you, you've been doing better. This year.

I feel like this year I was on Feel Free.

Okay, well, I'm just saying. I noticed.

I'm just telling you right now the reason if you. Without any sedation, the likelihood that a man can unplug from the intensity of business, running a real significant business that can unplug from that business, walk into his home. And the transition from parking his car to walking to the home, to kids and wife and being loving and available and listening and Attentive. To go from that last phone call in the car to walking into the house, that threshold is nearly an impossible chasm. And so what you'll get is guys sedate just to not be a. To their family because they've got all of this heat that the family doesn't really give a about. And there's. Your family shouldn't give a shit about. That's the guy's responsibility. You're supposed to bear that weight. That's what you're responsible for. You carry that. Don't put it on your kids. Don't put on your wife. Now, she's not going to want you because she's going to feel scared and she's going to feel stressed out. Your kids are going to feel stressed out, and then they're going to be worried and stressed out, and the whole house is stressed out. So guys swallow it all. They're like, my job is to swallow this. How do you swallow it? Well, you got two choices. Gut it emotionally, which is hard. What's easier?

But there's a. There's a balance, though. There's. There's. There. You can. You can sedate, but there's also, like, a balance. Like, for you to bottle it up would be like for me to bottle it up all the time.

So, like, if that hit right there, good night.

Right?

I'm not giving a shit about anything all night. I'm just gonna hang out.

What I'm telling you though, is like, women do the same thing. They're always like, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm not like, even if they're staying at home home with the kids, they're like, don't burden the husband. So as much as you're like, we don't want to burden the wives. The wives are like, thinking the same thing, but they're not. They're. They've been with the. With the kids all day, and they're kind of like, holy. I just don't want to hear screaming kids anymore.

I know. So guess what happens then? It'll watch us. So here's what happens. I don't take them to women. So guy not only comes home from war zone, he's also had a wife who's been at war with their kids, which is a suicide mission. We get it. So then we come in the house after being at war all day, and now we're not only expected to make the bridge the chasm, but we're also expected to openly take the weight off our wife with all the children. This happens to 100% of married men with children who run companies that I know and they love their kids. But now watch the weight. Mom needs a break when the is dad getting a break? Dad just grind it all day.

Dad gets a break in the middle of the afternoon.

Dad gets a break when he dies. That's what men get. They get a break when I. They die. That's the game that's played. You can get a break when you're dead. Besides that off. You're going to deal with all of this all the time. So with all this attention, by the way, I'm not taking away from it. You give these same men the idea of running, raising their kids full time, being stay at home dads, they'd be suicide. We'd have the highest rate of suicides in the country ever. It's not. The men couldn't do it. They just blow the up.

So guess what we did.

Probably abuse with kids. Drown them all in the pool. Something bad.

Guess what we did. Guess what we did. We had two sets of kids. And with the first set of kids we both were numbing out a lot at night. And that probably was good for a moment in our relationship till it wasn't. And then we had two more kids. And I said to you on my our last kid, I said we're gonna do it different. I was like, so we hired a night nanny who comes four nights a week. And then we both can have our decompressed time. And then like literally I'll go finish my post, have a shot of tequila, whatever the fuck I want for like an hour from 5 to 6 around time.

But I can't smoke a cigar for an hour.

You want to smoke a Cigar at like 7 o' clock at night? What I'm saying is asking. Sure you can smoke because you give an example. Let me finish. So then we lose time. So if you want to go work till seven and then smoke a cigar till eight, then we didn't have any connection time. So what I told you when I had an ass baby. I was like, I'm not, I'm doing it different. I was like, we are a little bit older. We have two more toddlers. And I remember being so exhausted when our first two kids were little. Do you remember that? I'd be like, you put them up. You like Bailey had the worst night terrors. Still does. And had anxiety and just only wanted you. Like she was like, oh, I want dad, I want dad. She would like freak out. And then I was like, here dad. Like I Just kind of, like, hand it off. So I was like, I want to do it different. And so I'm a firm believer. Yeah, I get that that's the story and that's how it goes down, but I was like, let's hire help. And I think that that has helped us. We both can decompress, and then we're like, hey, do you want to go throw the Frisbee on the beach? So I. I love this story, but I do believe that we are doing it a little bit differently. And we are.

I think otherwise we wouldn't be doing the show. We talk about having it all. This isn't a down plan. Yeah, we got to wrap this episode, though. It's time to wrap it up.

I feel like you were just getting heated.

We are just getting heat. We're gonna make them come back in the next episode. We're gonna continue this part one to. Because stay tuned for part two. Come back next week because we can only record these, like, two at a time. So we'll see you guys next week. Here's the deal summary for this show is this, like, no matter what, as a couple, you're going to have your sedation shit. You can't get away from it. Even my Christian friends who are like, no, no, I don't drink. I don't smoke weed. I don't know. You go to five nights a week of Bible study. You spend 12 hours to 14 hours at the church every week. You realize it's an addiction. It's an addiction. You study your Bible for five hours every day. That's an addiction. I'm not saying it's a bad addiction. I'm saying it's an addiction that addiction takes away from other things. You only have so much time. So if you spend 15 to 20 hours at church every week, that. How is that any different than me being an Ironman triathlete and being gone for my family? No matter what it is, there's something you're doing. Going to the gym, going to church, cycling, riding your bike, doing ironman, smoking weed, doing crack cocaine. You know, probably true survival. That might be a better path than crack cocaine. Gonna leave you a better outcome.

I don't know if I'd compare the.

Bible and cry, you know, probably a better addiction. You're always gonna have an addiction. So we're in a transition of finding healthier addictions, which is transition. I'm in finding healthier addictions to make that transition because I know it's possible to make chasm. I've done It. I've done it several times, many times without anything. And that's the mission. So the mission is to find a way across the chasm with no substance. This is what I'm trying to figure out. Maybe I'm gonna sit in a cold dump, of course somebody doing it.

But I don't you. To your point, I know we're in the show, but to your point, you just said it's not possible. You said, then you're going to go to Bible school, then you're going to go to cancer.

Have an addiction. No, not possible.

You want a healthier addiction.

Everyone has addictions. 100% of human beings.

You want a healthier addiction.

Everyone's addicted.

I know, but you want a healthier addiction.

You know, does the addiction progress your life forward? That's it doesn't progress your life forward.

That you're looking for.

That's it.

Does your patterns and addictions give you the outcome you're looking for?

Are you just trying to create a headline right there?

Sure. There's our head running for the show. Do your patterns and addictions create the outcome that you're looking for in life? If not, you have the power to change them and the only one that creates their story is you.

There you go. All right. This episode of Nature Wife podcast brought to you by Wake Up Warrior. Oh yes. The founding father organization, the number one men's training company in the world sparked over 26 different men's movements and now building another 250 more movements off the backside. Two different paths to wake Up Warrior. We have a trainer path and people have learned to live and leverage the warriors way but want to lead and build their own coaching business using the system. Then we have another side of this which is all those individuals who want to learn to live it. You can find both paths for those found at two different domains. One, a free membership and test and try it to learn to live it. Found@wordlaunch.com or you can head over to methodmasterclass.com where you can start down the trainer path with us in learning how to use this amazing curriculum to guide and teach others. For this we wrap up this show and you can check Danielle out on her blog and follow her@danielkwhite.com she's doing amazing stuff and you want to see lots of pretty pictures and amazing woman. Just follow her on social media. Me, I'm going to yell a lot. You know how I do it. We're out here. This episode's over. This is Garrett Dwight White closing up today's podcast now.