Beauty and The Beast | Date Your Wife | EP 123

Welcome to the date you wife podcast. We officially started for the 19th time.

Hey, just kidding. We started this.

When did we start this? Like, four years ago.

And we were really excited.

We would do it for, like, date nights. It was, like, fun for us to, like, have dialogue with one another where it was therapy. It kind of was in the sense that, like, we would put on the camera. And it's like, if we would have had some of the conversations we had on a podcast at dinner, it might have turned into a fight. Especially, like, add a cocktail to that, and it's. It's not a great mix. So I felt like coming here ahead of time to do a podcast. It got out our feelings for the week, and you guys were the sounding board. So thank you for what I'm hearing. You're saying, Garrett, is that you do like my short hair.

I do like your short hair. And also, let's be straight with this. You threatened to leave the show many, many, many times as I would bring up topics you were uncomfortable with. Why were you so uncomfortable back then?

I only left the show one time because you. You would trigger me on purpose, and I was like, motherfucker.

But you weren't as passionately open as you are now.

No, I become a better communicator doing a podcast just because you're talking a lot.

I think all women and men couples should do a podcast.

I mean, if I float your boat, that sounds fun, but I.

Do that mean float your boat?

I don't know.

Is that a sexual term?

It kind of sounds dirty now.

It does, right? I'll float your boat. You want to float my boat?

We.

My daughter's calling me. Oh, wow. She's calling me. She's asking for school off again.

I know. So we.

She's always asking to school off.

We did a podcast last night. We actually had quite a few people message. They were like, great podcast, powerful podcast.

Yeah. Should we tell them about 40,000ft?

No. Why do we have to start?

Well, I've already said it on Instagram. We might as well talk about it. We don't have to go into detail.

I'll keep it classy.

I'll keep it classy.

Classy, sir.

What was it like for you? What was it like for you? Making love at 40,000ft in our private jet.

It was fun.

That was it. I'd say everyone was waiting for this, and all they got was, it was fun.

I don't know what you want me to say.

I mean, of course it was fun, but, like, what was a moment like, for you, if you think about how far we've come in our relationship, 21 years we've been together.

Nice. The only thing I can tell you is, like, good for me. And then I was, like, good for us. And I was, like, good for Garrett. Yeah. I mean.

I mean, think about how far we have come when in 2016, our greatest war was over. The topic, sexuality. We ended up going on a date with Des. We almost decided to end our marriage in 2016.

You like?

I feel it's a topic everybody wants to hear right out of the gate.

Sex.

That's what they want to hear. Let's go.

So I will just say, like, I feel like it wasn't. I feel like, the whole sex game for us. We were married Mormon, Mormon, Christian, Catholic, whatever you want to. Like, I feel like we were brought up a little bit different. So it's like, the whole. It's not like I went and, like, slept around with tons of guys, and then I was like, he's the one. Like, it was like, you were the one. And I feel like I didn't give my. It's like I wanted to, like, just be wild and be me, and I felt like that's kind of who I am. But I didn't feel safe. Safe anywhere. I didn't feel safe.

Like, how much of that safety was.

I didn't feel safe. Probably, like, sex with you, like, you'd be like, oh, I. Like, I don't know. It was just, like. It was. It was, like, good. And then it was, like, really rocky. And then it was, like, got better and better and better. Now I'm like, wow, good for us.

Yeah. Now it's. Now it's a whole nother level. Like, it's. I mean, you said the safety principle, and it's not like we were aggressively doing anything ruthless. It was just. There was that, like, we were raised in an environment where, you know, sex was not really discussed.

Let me reframe that then. Because safe means, like. Like, I would. I would bet that most women want to feel sexy. They want to, like. They want to just, like, be vulnerable. They want to, like, do all the things. But if you are not uncomfortable with yourself, but uncomfortable with the relationship, then you don't feel safe to even explore. Explore sexual stuff.

You weren't even comfortable to really have sex with the blinds down or the nine layers of comforters on us.

You were like, we need.

We need more comforters, and could you add some more blinds?

I was uncomfortable with us, and I think it's because And I'll just share this.

Okay.

Okay.

Well. Well, you might as well. Off the fucking cliff, do it.

No, I was gonna say so. Like when we were first married, it was almost like we got married and you thought like, I should just be able to have sex like whenever I want to. I mean, obviously we got married young, but it was like, I'm like, babe, I'm like, I didn't even wanna. I don't wanna have sex three times a day. So I kind of felt like this piece of walking meat.

So did you feel like I wanted to have sex three times a day?

You, you are a very high energy man. And in the beginning we got marri. You could have had sex three times a day.

Did I want to kid yourself? Did we ever have sex three times in one day?

No, but what I'm saying is like.

In the morning, like, was that. Were you. Were you just disgusted by you?

Let me finish my sex my moves.

Right out of the gate.

No, no, no. What it became is like if I was like getting ready or doing something or. It was like I became like a piece of meat. It was like, come in, slap my ass. And I should just be expected to be like, oh, do you need a blow job when's convenient for you? I got nothing going on in my mind. I realize I'm getting naked. I'm naked, getting ready. And this is a signal that I want to give you a blow. Sorry, you're confused. It's not a signal.

Well, listen to a 20 something year old man. A naked woman in your bathroom is signed for a blowjob. You're like, okay. And then you add the married factor to it and you're like, well, we're married, you're naked. That must mean that you want to fuck and. Or just give me a blowjob. This was. But then I found, I mean, to my surprise, this was not the case.

But I have learned even to be as again. We've been married together almost how many years? 19 years.

21 years. Been together 19 married years.

We have not been together 21 years.

21 years. Been together for two years. Yeah.

Yahoo.

I met you when you were 18.

Damn, that's a long time.

That's right. Math wizard.

Okay, well, thanks.

Continue. I mean, what do you expect for the girl who like finishes one class in college in pottery and then fuck that painting up? What?

That was super rude.

Your math's not great.

I was, I was trying to think.

It doesn't mean you're a bad person. You're a massive Producer. We hire people to count your money.

No, no, no. I got married at 20. So we've been together. I was counting marriage years, Einstein. I was counting marriage.

I'm Einstein. I appreciate that. That's what you get when you get a degree in pe when you have a college degree. You're called Einstein.

I got married when I. And I'm 39. So you do the math, sir.

I did. It's 19 years.

Yes, that's what I said.

Okay, so like, for us to have the experiences we just did in Punta Mita. Punta Mita was how we had our last baby. Daniel got pregnant last Punta Mita trip. She was looking hot. We were on fire sexually, as a couple. It was a week, it was like a five day trip. We created moments there, but we thought, I mean, it's never been better.

No, it was like, it was a really fun trip. And then immediately when I came home, you were pregnant. I was like, God, I feel pregnant. And I'm like, no, maybe I'm just like bloated from the trip and the margaritas and whatever. And then like a week goes by, a second week goes by. I had just finished a fitness competition. I was like, I'm too lean. There's no way I'm pregnant. Then I'm like, I have like a bump. I have like a bump. My, my. Immediately when I'm pregnant, I always tease people. I'm like, my ass thinks that I'm pregnant. Like, my ass grows faster than my.

Stomach, which I'm not complaining about. I actually like it when, when that happens.

I. Yeah, but anyway, so I was like, no, I'm definitely pregnant. So then you're like, no. So I took like 17 tests and I was like, and then I told you I took two, but I really took like 17.

Wow.

Not 17, but I took a lot. I was like, there's no way. I'll wait a few more days.

And then you came back and shared with me. And I was like, you know what, though?

I, I can't remember if I've shared this or not, but I knew, like right after I had Aila, she was a gnarly delivery and pregnancy. I had a dvt. I had, I was induced for preeclampsia. And because they weren't planning on inducing me, I, I, I got induced with no painkiller. So that was exciting. Like, talk about like an outer body.

I've never seen you and all the babies and all the baby life. I've never seen you hit the dark, dark savage.

I was Like, I had to, like, leave my body, come back. Like, that was so much pain. They finally gave me the epidural, and the doctor comes in thinking, I'm all numb. And I'm like, I'm not numb. So, yeah, I pretty much consider that natural childbirth.

Except for I've never seen you roar like a. Like a male.

Like a female lion. Insides were being frozen, ripped out.

I didn't know what to do. I just was. I was sitting there.

Good news.

I was just trying not to pass out.

Immediately after I had her, I was like, I think I want one more.

Yeah.

Which I'm like. And it was like, newly. After she was born, I was like, I think I want one more. And I'm like, ah, damn it. I knew I had one more.

Yeah. We went down to surrogacy in ether because I didn't want you to have to go through the physical risk again with the high blood pressure.

I know. So part of me, I was like, I know. I'm like, oh, I got pregnant. That's so crazy.

Is.

Oops. I, like, part of me was like, I'm really. I, like, was. I'm pretty calculated. I track when everything. I know my window. I know my body. I'm like, there's like. And it was like, the one time I was like, a little freedom, like, whatever. I'll probably be okay. But I kind of knew, like, there's a risky chance I might get pregnant. But then I. It all turned out because when it comes down to it, in my heart, I was like, I don't know if I could do surrogacy. I don't know if I would adopt. I don't know. And so I feel like the only way it would have happened is exactly, like, for me to be like, well, let's just see what happened.

I mean, do you think the night. We know when you got pregnant, I. It was doggy style. You got pregnant doggy style? We don't know that we know for sure. I remember the night because we're sitting there and you were on fire. I mean, you were just on fire. And you gave me the. The look over the shoulder, and you gave me like. Like, I was in Top Gun, the second edition, and I was taking on a plane like a fly off the fucking aircraft carrier. And you gave me the da, da, da, da, da, da, da. And you were like, go for it. I'm like, really? You're. Go, go, go. And I'm like, are you sure you want me to shoot these missiles? Live fire. Really? And you're like, go, go, go. And then you did the look, and, like, I had a choice. I was already in there, so it was done. So I shot the missiles. And here we go. We got another baby. She's awesome.

She's already six months old. Yeah, she's super cute. We just finished another Punta Minta trip, and Punta Minta is kind of like a magical place for us. I feel like everybody goes to Cabo when we went there.

Cabo sucks.

So tell us then, how do you feel? Because, I mean, right after I had baby Charlie, I was like, we're. We're done, sir. Yeah, you snipped that shit. And you went and got snipped.

Oh, are we gonna get to have some kudos for my snipness?

No, we're not. We're just gonna get directly to the rest of the story. So you get snipped?

Yes.

Nobody feels bad about that, but I.

Had erectile dysfunction issues for about 10 years.

You were in your mind. Yeah, in my mind game.

Well, in my mind, I couldn't get hard, so I wasn't getting hard for real. It was a bit of a traumatic situation.

And then you shared it on one of your lives. You're like, I'm on testosterone.

I'm like, no, no, I wasn't yet.

On testosterone Work for you old men. Tell me how this works.

I'll tell you what happens. Your sex drive goes down. It' damn sure. Then you get a doctor named Dr. David Boyd, who's your concierge doctor, and then you go get your blood test and your full thing done. And I've noticed in the last couple years, there's been this slowing down. How do you feel?

I like you slowing down. Like, you were almost like you were just like. All the time. I was like, I don't know what to do with this ball of energy. So I think that was part of the reason I pushed you out for so many years, because I was like. Like, when you're chill, you're good, but when you were like. When you're like a walking erection, I'm like, too much, too much.

I think I had, like, 19 rounds in there, like, every day. It was like. It was incredible. So I had 320 was my testosterone level. So I come into my doctors, we go do this thing in Scottsdale, Arizona. We go get a test with Dr. David Wood. He does all the exams. You do all the blood work. You do all these X rays. You check all of your. Everything. You sit down with radiologists and all these doctors. He's now our concierge doctor. So we don't go to normal doctors anymore. We actually just text our doctor and then he calls in prescriptions. He deals with us. He deals with our hospitals. He deals with our pediatric doctors. It's the greatest thing ever. We'll post a link to what he's up to here. He runs Blind Spot Medical out of Scottsdale, Arizona. Amazing guy. Amazing for our family. We use them a ton, particularly when traveling, to help us with, like, you know, if we. If we had a stomach issues in Mexico, etc. So we go and we. We're having the sit down and he's coming to me about the blood results. And he's pumped. I mean, he's pumped. It's like another. When another man gets pumped for another man, it's like the guy knows some shit is about to change for you. Like, he was giving me the eye. Like, I give guys the eye when they come to Warrior, and, like, they're kind of in a fucked up situation. I'm like, dude, I got you. I got you. You're gonna be fine. It's gonna be great. And they're looking at each other like the big eyes, like Bambi getting run over by a semi. And they're like, I can't think straight. And Dr. Boyd walks into the debrief and he's pumped. And I look at him and I go, what to do with my testosterone? And he starts smiling. I go, I knew it. It's low, isn't it? It's fucking low, isn't it? And he starts laughing. And so they pull out the reports and he's like, you're at a 320 now. I don't do math when it comes to testosterone. So I just know that's low. But I didn't know what the big was if that was really low. And he's like, dude, for a guy like, you should be sitting around 900. That means I was literally 33% of my bull capacity.

I was wondering what was wrong.

This is why my energy had gone down. I was starting to feel old, though. I was starting to feel old.

I was feeling old.

The old guys on the beach start waving at us now, babe. They think Keith and I are the hottest young guys into the old. No. Well, that too. But we look like the young old guys were just bridging into the old game.

I had to really come in.

And they think we're the representatives of the old guys. They wave to us.

I don't even mean, though, because let me Sponsor us. Let me just tell you this really quick because women are always like, I feel like there's a lot of pressure on us to, like, upkeep and.

Yeah.

And I definitely, like, this is my last baby. And I was like, ah, I'm gonna do all the things. But I feel like, why do men get a fall in the category of they. They don't have to, like, keep up.

A drug dealer just showed up.

But then.

Okay, but then, thank you for delivering my drugs during the podcast. Well done, Sammy.

So then what happens is men get divorced and all of a sudden then they want. Hold on. Come here.

Then get face.

Or they get. They're like, not with their.

Men get divorced and then they get.

All of a sudden they're like getting all sexy and they get the Botox and all of them. They get their hair done and they're like penis extensions. Then they're like, I want testosterone. You're like, cool. So now that you're like, not with your girl anymore, but she's expected to keep up. Why?

Well, because guys, when they get divorced or think, well, not going to be the 25 year old, so she's going to be pumped. I need to get some things going here for like, two year old body naturally.

Want to do it?

I did. That's why I get the shots. And now you got the Beast back.

No, no, no. But it's not about that. It's just like maintaining yourself.

It's about the Beast.

About the Beast for you. I like the mellow, Garrett.

Batman and the Beast.

Oh, my God.

So I was. I was stressed out about this, but I was excited. I gave my first shot. I was stressed out. I did it live on Instagram.

It's not even that big of a deal. Were you on your ass?

Well, it's. No. Right on my side. Like, right on my side. Satchel.

You know what?

It doesn't. I'm losing a lot. I'm losing a lot of weight again. Yet again. You just always have to take away from my glory. Moment of pain. Oh, you just gave yourself a shot one time.

I actually hate neon.

I had to do shots for like three years with blood thinners and had almost died while giving birth. Yeah, well, it's fucking true.

Stop complaining about your low sperm count.

Yeah, well, one time I passed out during pregnancy. Does that count for anything?

You're Batman, Garrett.

Nope. I'm the Beast. I'm Batman and the Beast. I'm the Batman by date, the Beast by night.

I was trying to add some value to this Show.

Oh, this is so valuable. The beast. All right, He's a character now. He's. Now. Anytime we talk about sex and my high level of testosterone, the beast is out.

So you're saying you would recommend it?

Oh, hell yes, I would. Listen, I took the first couple shots, and then I was like, this is bad. Like, it's not gonna work. I'm having problems. I had another ED issue. It's like this mental thing, like I said, giving my shelf the shots. I'm like, dude, I don't know what the fuck's going on. Is it like, you know, is it this plant medicine, supplements, like, what's going on? My doctor's like, no, none of that's a problem. He's like, relax, dude. I got you. I was like, what? He's like, will you trust the process? And these guys are all my doctor and everybody. All my chiropractors, everybody. All men of warrior, too. So they all do the warrior's way. So we live by this code and we speak honestly. It was all, you know, they're like, coach, I'm gonna speak honest to you. I'm like, okay, listen, do you trust me? I was like, yeah. He's like, am I a doctor? He's like, yeah, are you a doctor? I'm like, no. He's like, will you trust me? I said, yeah. I said, okay, good. Trust me. This is gonna turn you into the best. And it did. Punta me to round two.

You really stepped up your game.

I stepped up my gain because I was noticing.

I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but I was like, babe, I was.

A little soft, and I wasn't working hard.

I felt like I could, like, walk by and smile at you. And you.

Me? You were. Yeah, you were the penis whisperer.

You were my penis whisperer. And then I was like, does he notice me? Does he notice me, like?

And I did, but I was having a bit of a. I was having a 300 testosterone level game, which was. You were super. It was weird. You were super hot in my mind, but it was like that part of the factory was just not real pump.

What I can say is it's probably good if. If you're a guy too. Not only about your testosterone, but, like, you're gonna give your woman more attention and more energy because you're in that primal mode.

Yeah.

So I feel like it's probably like, win, win for both. I'm glad you feel better, but I notice your energy towards me is like. It's better my wife's fuck Hot. And there he is.

Are you feeling that in the last couple weeks?

Yeah, like, I feel like. Like, I was like, shit. I'm like. I'm. I'm, like, back in shape. I'm putting a lot of work into myself. I'm like, we're doing the date nights, and I just felt like I lost my superpower in a way. I was. Lost my.

Lost your superpower because your superpower was with the Beast, and the Beast had gone to sleep. All that was available was the guy. Hi, guys. Hey, guys. Scorn. Date night.

Score.

Date. All right, Just. Batman was a villain. I'm Batman.

No, there was. There was just, like, a few videos I was watching of you, and I sent you screenshots. I was like, you look sad and tired.

And Mumbai. Here's a. Let me give you a rundown.

I was on fire, and you looked sad and tired. I was like, that's not gonna work out.

Yep. I'm tell you, things have gone down exactly one. I'm taking testosterone shots every four days. Right. By myself. I'm proud of myself. Not a doctor.

We only do it every four days.

But I was trained by a doctor. Yeah. Every four days, give myself 4 milligrams of testosterone shots.

Then. You don't do it every day. That's nice.

Nope. And then I also. 98% less alcohol in the past, like, 90 days. My alcohol game's way down.

You got to do more water, too.

I'm taking daily. I microdose. People are like, what do you. Microdosing? I was, like, not telling you. Microdose some plant medicine every day. That's helping. That's making me feel very nice. I do these tonics at night called Feel Free. People don't like them, but I like them. They're nice.

I tried a half one. I couldn't tell.

Yeah, well, I'm just saying, like, alcohol's down, testosterone's up, energy's up. Sleep is on fire. Feeling great. I snored last night.

Yes.

Again.

Oh, my God.

Really? No, I didn't.

What can we do for snoring?

I don't know. I don't notice it.

That's good. I'm glad you don't notice it.

Listen, one of the downsides of being the boost is he snores at night.

I thought about putting, like, you know, like, one of those eye masks, like.

Just over my mouth.

Putting it right over your mouth. And then I was like, is there an air hole?

Do I really. Do I really snore?

Yes.

Really?

It's like, Is it bad? It's like a. And then it's like.

And I'm like, no, it's not. No, it's not. You're exaggerating.

No, it's pretty bad.

You need to record it.

I will record you.

I mean, I'll believe it.

Some nights it's quiet, and then some nights I'm like, what did he eat?

Was last night loud?

If I don't sleep. I pulled a neck muscle last week, so I'm not sleeping great. And I feel like if I don't sleep great and you are breathing really heavy. I'll call it breathing heavy, not a snore. I'm like, I'm always tempted to sleep in another room or ask you to gently remove yourself and sleep in another room.

We don't do that. You haven't really been doing that, though.

I know.

I think it's because you realize you can't have the upside of the beast and at the same time ignore the downside. Downside of the beast is he snores loud after he's come a few times.

You're fired. Ending this podcast.

All right, so we're gonna look at a couple topics, though. One of the greatest things about our trip. Yes, sex was great, but there was something greater that happened on our trip, which is amazing. And it wasn't just the lightning storms lining up with our sex game, which was a whole nother conversation for another day. But what was there was there was a deep level of intimate, real loving conversation. Let's talk about that first.

We had a like. Well, I feel like you used to not want to take vacations and date nights are great, but you don't. Like. I feel like we usually take like four to five couples vacations a year, and sometimes it's just quick to Vegas. We went to Scottsdale. That was quick. We went to Puja Mita.

Punta Mita was like five, nine.

Yeah. We're gonna go somewhere next month for our anniversary, like Costa Rica. Yeah. We do these little getaways, and every time I do them, I'm like, oh, I like you. I mean, not that I don't like you, but I think we get so in our day to day routine that it's not just about sex, because we'll have great sex at home. That's fine. But you can lose that intimate connection. And if you do, then it's just like, yeah, sex is good. Date nights are good. But I believe that the intimate connection matched up with good sex is really what keeps. Keeps us together at least. Or Couples together, I would say there.

Was just a space that opened up when we were there. I think it happens after about 48 hours where we forget we have kids, and we're like, oh, yeah, we don't have five kids, a dog and a duck. And it's just you and me, and we're hanging out, Susan and the Beast, and we're just having a great time in Punta Mita. Like, we are. And, like, there's just. We're relaxing. We're going on ziplines. We're having great conversation. And I'm gonna share. I'm gonna share. I'm not gonna share the exact words, but I'm just gonna tell you, like, I was sharing some very vulnerable stu. Some abusing situations, sexual abuse situations I got into when I was a kid between 6 and 9, and my wife really spoke. And I think for a lot of guys, the case, too. Like, I think the thing I'd never realized, I wasn't looking for orgasms. As funny as I'm joking around with the Beast and all these other things, the reality is what I wanted was to be wanted. And part of how I feel wanted is through your dialogue with me and your, like, saying simple things. Like, you did. Like, I love you. You're safe. Like, you're my person.

I think that men.

These are words I've been wanting to hear, like, frequently for, like, the whole time we've been together.

Well, and I don't know if this again, I've been married to you for 19 years, but I. I feel like, from what I've heard from guys is they really need to be. They need positive reinforcement. They need to be like. I always say, like, tell me he's the man. Like, like, I have girlfriends that are single and that. And I'm like, just tell him he's the man. Tell him he's awesome. Tell him, like, how, like, just you're his hype woman. Like, be his hype woman.

Yeah.

And when you do that, I find men come back and they're like, oh, my God, it's not even about the sex. They're just like, I. There's like, beat your hands on your chest, like, you feel like the man kind of thing. You know what I mean? So for me, like, I'm not, like, a big communicator. I grew up in a family that didn't say, like, I love you a lot. And we weren't, like, touchy feely and we didn't hug. And so, like, it's not that I didn't love My family and I wasn't close to them, but it wasn't like, like it wasn't something I wasn't normal. Yeah, it wasn't normal for me. So the idea, like Garrett's family is totally opposite. Like, totally hug, touchy.

Like, just, you can't, you can't leave my house on a family without hugging every single line.

There's a hug and a kiss line. And I'm like, this is so much.

Takes like 30 minutes.

It takes. And like, there was a few times, I think I forgot to like hug your sister or something. And I was like. She was like, deeply offended. I was like, I gotta be honest, for like years. I grew up in a family, like, where we just. We weren't. That wasn't a thing.

People did not say they love you until I came into your family.

I know you're not.

People say, I love you, and your mom and dad hug all the damn time. Your mom and I get nice little hugs.

But I like it. I think it's like, it's like I wanted to, but I wasn't raised that way. And so now it's like normal for me. Like, I. I can always tell when people aren't huggers now. And I'm like, like, we're like, you know what I mean? Whereas I feel like I, I was that person now. I'm like, hey, how are you?

And I'm more like, your mom's hot. I'm not saying, like, I'm sexually turned on by your mom, but I'm saying your Gail's hot. Like, she's 70.

She's a hot woman.

That's a good looking seven year old woman.

She takes care of herself.

She does. Like, I'm proud of her. Yeah, she had, she had a moment where she was drifting. I was worried. And then she, like, just for her, because she wasn't super happy about herself. And then she, she really turned shit around. Like at 70, she's on fire.

Yeah, she looks great. She like went and had a seven. She goes, I'm getting all my shit done.

70 year old makeover.

I'm 70. This is the last one. She went and got a bunch done. But she looks fantastic. She's a pretty woman. But yeah. So I, I feel like what I wanted to say is like, because I wasn't raised with using dialogue and saying that. It's not that I didn't feel it. I didn't just. It wasn't natural for me. So I had to go out of my way being married to like be a Better communicator, even with my teams. Garrett, I will tell you this. It's even helpful with my teams. Like, they'd be like, you come across kind of aggressive and a little bit cold sometimes. I'm like, do I? And I remember Ani coming to me one time. She goes, you need to do the Oreo sandwich. I was like, what does an Oreo sandwich? She goes, you start with a compliment, and then you give them the. You know, the information. Then you end it with a compliment. I'm like, people need two compliments to hear one one thing about them. Like, I was like, I don't need that. But. But it's funny, because I'm like, you should know I love you. You should know I care for you. You should know that. You know what I mean? And I'm more. My love language is more like time and gifts. But then I'm like, you know what? That's bullshit. I'm not gonna just say, like, well, that's my love language. I'm not gonna do it. Because truth be told, I like being told I'm beautiful. I like being told I'm amazing. I like being told these things, too. Do you know what I mean?

Do you understand how much you change my day with one simple text? Just like, I love you, heart, or, hey, babe, have a great day. Like, these little things, when you do them, you gain, like, miles of traction with me. Miles? Not like millimeters miles.

I'd rather tell you in person. I'm not like a texter.

You're a fucking texting machine. What are you talking about? All you do is sit on that goddamn cell phone half your day. I don't think posting, voxing, slacking, texting, you're not. Okay, I'm not a texter. How about you just text me love notes every day? Because that falls right into ttf. Let's do a review on ttf. Do you remember what TTF is? Because for our new listeners, they won't remember this was an old school topic. Ttf. Do you know what it is?

I do. I'll let you tell them.

Tell me. Touch me. Fuck me. These were the three things that I got to terms with. Danielle's gonna talk to you about QQP here in just a minute.

I'm over qqp.

No, you can't be over it. Because it started a revolution of married men and women having sex and women getting out of their little clammy shell of uncomfortableness with all the blinds down and 15 comforters and a pair of goddamn lul in sweats and just enough to allow access. Yeah, you killed that, babe. You should be proud of yourself.

You know what, though? Like, I think it became less of a chore because it was like.

It was.

There was like a point where it was kind of a chore. And I was like, God, I hope he's asleep when I come to bed. Or I'd be like, in my sweats. Here's the thing, though. You did not approach it very nicely. I'm just gonna say that right now.

Of course I didn't. I had no fucking game.

I would be in sweats. And even though I'm like, God, I'm tired and I hope he just comes in and lays down and goes to bed and I can. And just maybe I'll pretend to snore. Should I pretend to snore? Maybe I should snore then.

I know you're fake and you're like, I know. Sorry. I'm, like, listening to you right now.

And I had to again, use my words and communicate with you to tell you what I want. And I remember saying like, babe, if you come to me and you're like, babe, you wanna have sex? I'm like, did you? What the fuck?

Have I ever straight armed you that hard? Like, you just did.

But that's how it's.

Hey, bro, you wanna fuck?

That's how it feels like. That's how it feels. When you used to come out and be. So we're doing that. Like, it Would you just.

Yeah, I would do stupid high school move. Which it wouldn't have worked in high school either.

There was no, like, intimacy. There was no connection. There was nothing. Or you'd be like, roll over. Let me give you a massage. But it was kind of aggressive. I was like, oh, I don't. I don't want a massage. But now, like, I'm like, hey, if you want to have sex, like, I have no problem with that. You're going to need to warm me up. Like, I don't. You need to come in gentle. You need to come in slow. I will never turn you down if you warm me up. If you come in hot handed, I'm going to be like, whoa. So much going on here.

Do you know what, though? Because I didn't know how to approach it and you were feeling awkward and weird about it. I spent years in the. You spent years in the PTSD of Garrett's a weirdo coming at me. And I spent years in the PTSD of rejection to the point I stopped asking. You know, most Guys stop asking for sex and get to a place. They just stop.

I will say that men, at least for us, in the beginning of our relationship, like, I shared, it was expected. Well, we're married, and I'm the provider, so you need to, like, you need to put out right now.

Yeah, I'm blaming the church. I'm blaming the church for that one. That's the church all day long. Sure, it is 100% the church culture.

I'm not saying I disagree. I. I'm sure there's many men that they get married and they're like, I should just get laid. Unlimited. I'm providing.

And there's women. Do you know, there's women in the wifey duties, and there's women in the Christian culture that feel like that's exactly what they should do. I know this. It's like emotionless sex, but they will anytime. I got. I know women.

That's killer.

Husbands. Do not look at porn. Do not masturbate. If you want to come, you come and give me anytime. And I.

You can come, sure, but.

But do not look at porn. Do not masturbate. How you feel about that?

But does she enjoy it?

It. No, of course she doesn't enjoy it. She just enjoys the fact that he's not looking at porn. Masturbating.

I can only speak for my experiences.

I know. Well, listen, I can. I can speak for this experience, which was, I was a weirdo, and I was. And I. You had PTSD from me being a weirdo, and I had PTSD from you rejecting a weirdo. So it was the weirdest oxymoron of all fucking time.

It was the worst trauma. And then it was like, okay, well, I kind of had to realize, like, what do I want? And I'm like, okay, well, I want time. I want connection. I want intimacy. Then I'm like, you can have me whatever way you want me. I don't care. But without that, I was like, eh. But then I will go back to the other one where it's quickie. Quickie porn star. That's what I used to call it. Because there was times where I'm like, ah, I'm tired. I don't want it. But I know he needs it, and that's fine. But now, like, I actually enjoy giving that to you. Do you know what I mean? Like, the quickie I enjoy for you. And then in turn, I enjoy it too. So it's like, it might be quick, but it's not really for you anymore. It's for me. And You.

Well, Keith asked me this morning, we were working out on the beach with our kettlebells. And you know, I'm telling you right now, like the old dudes on the beach, like the 60 something dudes running by in packs. They do it at that early morning. Keith and I are down there doing the kettlebell workouts. We now get the you're one of us look and the cheer from the old guys. Today I'm doing kettlebell and a group of nine old, no, six old guys, like in their 60s come running by. They're like, jog slow and from a distance, they're watching me kettlebells. And they're like, oh, whoa, be careful, be careful that back. You only got one of them. You only got one of those backs. I'm like, do these fucking guys look at. Did they not know who I am? I looked at Keith, I was like, Dude, I'm 46. I'm a goddamn athlete.

Just tell them you're at a 900.

I am a goddamn 900 level testosterone athlete at 900.

You shut your mouth.

You know what's so funny, though? So they're laughing at me running the kettlebell, and they come right up by me and I drop the kettlebell from doing like, some savage workout with my kettlebell, which was probably not real savage in the real kettlebell world, but to me, in the old guy crew, it was. I mean, I was a savage guy who had a good enough back to do kettlebells. And the little guys look at me and they're like just. They're. They're just pouring it on. And I go, listen, you fuckers.

No, you didn't.

Yeah, I go, listen, you fuckers. But I wasn't saying it. And they all look at me and start laughing. I said, I'm not close enough to happen to be worried about my back yet. I got good form. My back's good. They all start laughing. They're all. We remember that, too. We remember that too.

That was three years ago.

No, then Keith and I are running. I was like, keith, you realize every day that goes by, these older dudes are. They're owning us as part of them. We are the youngest guys in the old category. It's like we're knocking on the 50.

How old do you think they are?

Oh, these guys are all mid-50s to mid-60s. They're all like, bunch of old bastards. Well, they're like 10 years older than me, but they look, because of the gray beard I got going on and because of just. I don't know, I'm just amazing. But I look old.

I don't. I think you look less old with your, without your beard for sure. Because you're solid silver. So like whenever you're like, I don't mind it scruffy right now, but when it gets big, I'm like, listen, Santa, that shit's got to come off.

Listen, if you cannot be the king of the 20 year old, I have found the path to being king.

I think I can fit in with the 20. I'm in like the prime.

Listen, at 39, 75 year old women are. Men would like to sleep with you and 19 year old boys. So you're like in the pocket of greatness. Like you're across the range.

I'm just in the middle. It's kind of funny. I'll see like younger guys look at me and then I take off my hat. I'm like, yeah, I'm very.

You're like, I could be your mom. Do you know what is weird though? Like for women, I don't know how that works, but I know a lot of guys are like 55 who are dating like 25 year old girls.

I wonder.

I'm sure it's very interesting. 30 year gal, that's like your kid though.

That's like, yeah, that would be weird.

It'd be like sleeping with somebody in my son's age.

Well, like I just think about like.

That is fucking weird.

I know. I don't think, I don't think it's.

I see why they do it, but I think it's kind of weird.

I wonder how the conversation is like.

Can'T possibly be comfortable. What are you gonna talk about?

Oh, come on.

Oh, God. Tell me about high school graduation. I mean, what are you gonna talk about? This is one thing I tell all of them. Like, dude, she must be great. Like she's 25. She probably like, you're probably getting your face sat on and just loving every second.

Had a bad relations, had a bad relationship. He wants it.

And these girls needs to be treated right.

They want to be taken care of.

They just, they want a sugar daddy.

You know what? There's like, as much as I'm like.

I understand the dynamic, I get it.

I do too. I used to be like, how do people do that? Now I'm like, now I get it. You probably had a shitty relationship and now you have a girl that just wants to be with you for who you are. She loves you, she doesn't care. Like, you can have conversations. You don't need to, like, go that deep and you can still have intimate connections even at, like, that age gap.

Well, you know, I don't know how much these girls are like, you know, I really love you for who you are. I think. I think it's more about. I really love the fact you drive an Aventador and you live in a $15 million house, and you can take me to fucking Mexico for 10 days. So I think it's probably more along that. I think the penis gets more attractive when you see wrapped in gold.

But it's so obvious. It's so obvious. It's like, I'm with her because she has nice tits. I'm with him because he makes a lot of money.

Yeah.

And it works out well.

So here's why. I was telling you about the beach workout, though. So I'm down at the beach workout, and Keith asked me a question. He said, how often. How many times a week do you master? I said, I don't really. I was like, I used to masturbate all the time. I was like, but I. I can't. I mean, I probably masturbate one time in the past, even when you were pregnant. Probably. Like, probably.

Maybe 300.

It was probably a combination of 300. You're right. But I mean, it was probably three. It was probably three. It was probably a combination of three hundred testosterone. Maybe God. Maybe God reduced my testosterone.

When you were pregnant on purpose. I knew you were in a season of, like, hustle and work and grind and figure out. I was tired and I. Yeah. And I'm sure when you. I don't. I mean, I don't know, but I know for me, when there's a lot of pressure on, I'm. I'm either one way or the other. I'm, like, super ready to go. Or I'm like, I need to. I don't even. I need nothing.

How do you. How do you feel about the idea of me masturbating? Like, is this a weird thing for you or it's not a weird thing for you?

I might. You don't need to, like, share. Hey, babe. This morning I had a great session with myself.

Hey, babe. Just loving myself. You got some hearts on Instagram. I got. I had some love with my right hand.

I feel like now I'm, like, pretty open. Like, if you were ever in that space where you're. And I'm home, I. I'd be like, just come get me.

I just. It's weird when our sex life dawn.

But then sometimes, though. Oh, here's What I could say, though, like, there's a lot of pressure. Like, there was one time a few weeks ago, and I.

You were super horny.

No, it didn't happen because I wanted it to. No. Yes. Do you not remember? It was. Because I think we were on a time crunch and there was too much pressure on you.

Oh, yeah. And I can.

So that's why I'm saying.

Oh, fuck. Yes. That was a bad guy. Yeah.

You're a guy. And you're like, I have 45 seconds.

No, no, no. It was hard. When I was 22, I could just. You could blow. Just go. And I was ready. Go to go right now. Like, I was. I had the most amazing morning. Like, I smashed my morning routine. I had surfed my ass.

Question for you.

I was prepped in business. I was running an event that day, and I got a text from you that was so seductive. And I came upstairs. I couldn't even get hard.

I know. I. Because we. We didn't have enough time.

It wasn't even that, though. I, I, I was in my head, and I was on my first shot of testosterone, so I was still, like, you know, 3, 26. 6.

But what my question for you, it.

Was not exactly the most motivational moment heading into my event.

If you're gonna ask me, like, hey, do I care? I don't really care. Like, yeah, that's fine. I don't need to hear, do I.

Care if you masturbate?

No, I don't.

I think it's hot. You should.

Okay, that's not. I was gonna say, but I was gonna. Now I can't even remember.

Can I watch?

Oh, my God. Garrett. That's not what I was gonna say. It was important.

Well, you were talking about masturbation and testosterone.

I was thinking, oh, like, is there sometimes as a guy, you're like. Like, it's just gonna be easier myself. It's just gonna be easier myself. I got my. I don't wanna deal with the emotional bandwidth of my wife this morning, even if she is ready to go. Then I'm like, do I have to, like, seduce her a little bit? Tell her? Do I have to buy her shit? Do I have to, like, scratch her back for a minute? Like, I got three minutes. I'm gonna just take care of myself.

Yes. Guys do this 100% for 100%. The only guys that don't do this are fucking liars.

Okay?

It's just like, you know, back in the day, I had as cousins, we were talking about this as young cousins.

I would rather you just do that.

Because then it's like, you'd rather I mast after you.

I mean. No, I'm saying, like, if you don't have a lot of time and you don't want to deal with, like, I.

Really don't do it anymore, though. It's like, what do you know? I found. Here's why I said, here's what I found. I found that a lot of my insecurity sexually in our relationship, like, I would masturbate because I want to last longer. Not recognizing that was not actually helping me last longer. It was just depleting the energy of our experience. So I think a lot of what, like, my. I don't masturbate much at all anymore because I like to save and up. Like, there's a difference between if you've masturbated three times and you've had a nut concept. If you had a nut on a Monday, a Tuesday, and a Wednesday by yourself.

Same for women.

And then you come to have sex with your wife on a Thursday, you're kind of shooting teaspoons.

It's the same for women. So I would say, like, if we're having sex, like, every day, I'm. I'm like, by the day three, I'm like, I don't know. This is going to take a long time. I don't know if I'm committed to how much time right now. Like, so it's the same for women. Do you know what I mean? And. But I still am, like, but I'm up for a challenge. Why not? Like.

But we've had some challenging moments, and they've been amazing. Yeah.

But I'm just saying.

Breaking records.

The same thing goes for women.

Yeah. Okay, so here's the last topic for today's show. Since we always gonna be talking about.

Sex, I feel like this show was just about sex. But we.

Because it's a topic that everybody wants to hear. Yeah. But here's the other time. I want to switch to the kids. So we're getting a dog. And I watched you pull off the first purchase of an animal on vacation. And we also committed to a duck. Tell us about this duck.

No.

What happened with the duck? How are we keeping lucky the duck? I found out this duck can have diapers.

Yeah. So here's. Well, okay, so we homeschool all of our children. We talked about this on our last podcast, if you want to hear more about that. And my daughter did a round of ducks, and she had four ducks. She took really good care of Them, and then she released them. Well, we had a weenie dog that we'd had for 19 years pass away. And Ruby actually is sad. The weenie dog was deaf and blind, fell in a fountain in our house and drowned. And Ruby found him. But Ruby also was the one that let him out, let her out to go potty. And it was dark, and I was like, oh, you can't let her out.

It was traumatic.

You can't let her to go potty by herself at night time. Like, she's like, I only left her out for, like, 10 minutes. I'm like, she's deaf and blind. So she felt so bad about it. Like, even though she wasn't, like, super connected to Chloe, this dog had been with us since she was 19. So anyway, she. I could. She was having a hard time with it. She was like, we gave away the decks. And then she was like, can I do another round of ducks? And how we do it is you have this incubator. You order a crate of eggs, you put them in the incubator, and in 30 days, they hatch. And not all of them hatch well, this last group of eggs, only our first off, the power went off in the middle of the night, and the incubator cracked. And it was like, two days before they were going to hatch anyways, only one of them ended up hatching. Two little 11 died, and they were like, literally two days from hatching.

And there were some of those. There were like three or four. Ari had broken the shells trying to get out.

Oh, they were already moving and pecking. It's called pecking. Anyways, so they died, and the one was born was like, the cute little yellow one. So they have different color, like, browns and yellows. And. Anyways, we named him Lucky Duck. And I was like, oh, my God, we can't give away one duck. You're its mom. I'm like, you have to keep this duck. But it's really freaking cute. So anyways, and then she.

We had never done the ducks before, and for those who have never done it, you can actually do this. You order an incubator, and you can order duck eggs to your house, and then you kind of cook the duck eggs in this thing. And the cooker worked great for the first ones, and we got four ducks. Then they take the ducks to the park when they're, like, three or four weeks old, and they literally go release the ducks to the park, and the ducks go find other ducks, and they go on and do their life. And so Danielle and I are Sitting in Punta Mita and we find out all the other ducks die. And there's one duck. And I just. It was the weirdest thing. Cause I felt like this little melt in my heart. I was like, we cannot take this duck to the park by herself.

The duck's only a week old right now, so we'll see how it. But for right now, we're keeping him. His name. We don't know if it's here or her.

She swims in the pool with us.

Yeah, it's kind of random.

They take her to the beach. They take her on a little walker to the Chipotle. We found out she eats rice.

But. Yeah. And then. And. But then I was like, okay, I didn't want a dog because of the. Like, I just feel like I've gone through so much this last year. I'm like, I can't have any more energy in my home right now. So I. We made Ruby, like, do reports on dogs and things like that and research. And I realized, I'm like, she's not gonna let this go.

We got. We got in a bit of a battle about that.

Well, she wanted an Aussie. And everybody I talked to was like, those dogs are super high energy. And I was like, oh, she doesn't. She thinks. She wants. She wants. I told her to research a family friendly dog. So anyways, long story short, I was like, we ended up getting a labradoodle that will be here in about three weeks. And her name is Dory. She's super cute. I found a cute. I found a breeder on Instagram, NC. And I just. And what I've heard these dogs are really cuddly. They're very smart. They're like medium sized, like 30 pounds. I was like, that is the kind of dog we want, Ruby. Like, you just want a cuddly dog. They make great service dogs. So I was like. So then I'm like, okay, you're committed to getting a dog. Then I will do some research. And then I will. And then I started sending her puppy photos. And she's like. And we looked at, like, probably like 10 different ones. And she's like, that's the one. And so I put a deposit down. I'm paying a guy to fly Dory down. And we got Dory and Lucky.

Dory's in kindergarten right now. Puppy kindergarten. They're teaching her skills.

It's good times.

So appears like we're at the end of the show.

I know, I.

Your mind is gone. You have a photo shoot with the baby.

I have my baby 6 month photo shoot tonight. And Garrett's like, can we sneak in a podcast? And I was like, maybe. Do we have a topic?

Yeah, we always have a topic. So here's what I'm gonna wrap up with. Let me wrap up with some lessons. You ready for some lessons? Gentlemen, I'm gonna speak to you. Danielle can talk to ladies. Gentlemen, I'm gonna tell you right now, there are very few things in your life that you will get a higher roi. For those who don't understand that, that's a return on investment. Investment. Then investing in time and space away from your home place with your queen, right? Take. You know, God talks about this in the Bible, which is, we're to leave our fathers and our mothers and become one flesh, right? Unified as one flesh, one being, one soul. You can't do that with the kids around. It's a goddamn nightmare. It's like fucking chaotic 24 7. You got to get away from all that, get away from the business for us. We got to get out of the country. And that helps some reason. Crossing that border into Mexico, it's just we become different human beings and we get to be young.

There's like a sense of freedom. It's like, ah, talk and say and do whatever we want to do whatever.

We want, however we want. So, like, if you haven't done any trips with your queen, if you haven't done the money investment to do it, do it like somebody. And this doesn't have to be $100,000. This doesn't have to be 10,000. This could be a thousand dollars. It could be camping, it could be whatever it is. But please do yourself a favor and every listen to me, I'm going to say something, it's going to blow your balls back. And you're like, what are you talking about? About? It's gonna be like you're in a wind tunnel. Here it is. Invest once a quarter to take your wife away for a weekend. One, two. Invest one night away without the kids, no kids, date night, no kids. And one weekend a quarter gone without the kids. Just you and your wife. You test me on this and you watch what happens. You watch what happens. The premise of date, you wide podcast all about this, like, it's time to start dating and seducing your wife. The fact that you don't put money, time and energy behind it is ridiculous. And I can't tell you the number of men we are around between me here, Married Game, the other podcast I run with Keith, all the Guys with Lion's Not Sheep and Sean Whalen, all the guys that we train Cross Ball Edge with, Ralph Vasilis, Ryan Stuman, and Apex, all these guys that run these massive programs. We are blown away at how many guys just do not commit to this. This basic shit. Pay to take your wife on dates without kids. Pay to take your wife on weekend getaways every quarter. That's my biggest shit.

Even for, like, successful guys that have the money, it's like, take time away from your business. Like, we get it. Your business, she always puts out. Good for you. You worked hard for that, so now you're gonna have to take that. That same time and that same energy that you pour into your successful business and pour into your marriage. I think that people don't understand, like, that you just. I mean, they do, but they still aren't willing to do the work. You know what I mean? And. And it's. It's something as simple as, like, Garrett said, like, doing, like, these quarterly trips where we're like. Because it's just different. Like, you have. You have everybody you work with. You have all the noise of everything. Even if your kids are grown or you still have kids in the house. Like, there's something about physically removing yourself from that place where you allow yourself permission to connect, to communicate. And it's funny because when we have rocky moments or, like, if I'm bugged at you, I almost use those awesome moments that we've had on trips and things, and I'm like, remember how fucking cool that was? Was? And for me, I'm like, okay, like, you're irritated, Danielle. You know, like, you. You need to, like, get over your. Like, we need to go on a date night. We talk about this, whatever. But those moments that we have together when we're on vacation, it's like, it's really what I realized, like, how much work we've put into our marriage. Do you know what I mean? So that's the end of the podcast is honestly, if you're that person who you're too cheap to even go on a date. And I say that, like, I. People will say all the time, like, oh, you know, we go on a. I talked to this older lady. Not older, but she's, like, 10 years older than me. She's like, yeah, know, my kids are older. I have, like, one still in the house. She's like, you know, we go on a date, like, maybe, you know, like, once a week, but we can go on a date whenever. And I'm like, thinking, like, because her kids are older, you know, And I'm like, really? And so I just feel like there's that lack of quality time that's happening, and this place where it's like, you're just kind of content. But if you. If you want a phenomenal relationship, if you want that chemistry and that spark, I'm telling you right now, like, we've been together for 19 years, and we still have that, like, spark. Not all the time, but there's moments where I'm like, oh, oh. Yep, you're my person.

Like, the juice factor is on us.

It's not just like this. Settle into. Like, oh, that's my husband. He's who. Like, he's the father of my kids. Like, it's like, no, like, I think you're hot as, and I want to, like, hang out with you. Not all the time. Don't, like.

Did you hear that? Hot as fuck. That's what I'm talking about. And gentlemen, listen. You can learn more about Wake Up Warrior. All the tools we have going on here to help men empower themselves. We got WarriorCon 4 coming up here October 26th or 29th in Las Vegas. This is four years since we've run a large conference. It can be amazing experience there. You can follow Danielle on Instagram, pretty much find out everything about our life. If you haven't been following her, you follow me? It's hit or miss. I'm bipolar with Dan Graham and Facebook and the rest of it.

I share, like, clips of, like, real life.

Danielle tells you exactly what's going on with her life pretty much all day long. So if you want to follow and find out what's going on behind the scenes with the ducks, the dog, and the rest of our kids, follow her on Instagram at Danielle Kwhite. You also check her out our website, daniel. Or dkw styling.com.

Oh, I don't even use that one anymore.

You don't use dkw styling.com?

No. So I own a large education company for hair extensions called Natural Beaded Rose. So we do a ton of educating. We do virtual events every single month that have.

We need to just create commercials.

Yeah. I was like, let me. Let me just give my. Let me give my own.

It's like we're. It's like we've. It's like we've. You know, it's like being on the flood, the private flight, and we got five minutes before we land and we decide we should have sex. It's like we're trying to force it in there?

No, I'm just. No, yeah, I'll just tell you. I'm the creator of natural beauty. Real hair extensions. Google it.

And I'm going to tell you one thing as we wrap up today. Last week I told you I am Batman. And tonight, I will simply remind you, I'm the Beast. Have a great day. I'm out.