#blessed OR #bigasswork? | Date Your Wife | EP 129

Avocado sounds like avocado.

It's not, though.

But avocado and avocado could be the same. Maybe avocado is taking an avocado and spreading it all over your body.

Are we recording?

Yep. This is the beginning of the show. I'm gonna have a chato. You.

No, no, it's. It's a. So, like, you can do. It's how we do our calls or phone calls or.

It's through avocado.

Yeah, it's. It's like a. It's like, so they don't everybody. It looks like we're all chiming in from the same phone number, but it's just an app you have on your phone.

And you're all calling through the app.

Yeah, we're all calling through the app. So Rachel from support can. Crystal from the salon can. Danielle can from Danielle.

It's like a call line.

It's like a call line.

It's like a great call line. It's like free conference call.com, but it's called avocado.

It's called Avocado.

I notice that every time I say anything with you at some level, my mind makes it sexual.

I know. I don't know why.

I mean, we can be talking about a call line called avocado, and my mind immediately thinks of hot tubs and whipped cream.

No, it does not.

It does.

Is it really? Or are you trying to be funny?

I'm not trying to be funny. Trying to be funny. It's only funny because it's real.

Is that real for all guys? Like, you can use something like avocado, and you're like, ass cheese. I don't know exactly what I was thinking about. I'm like, no, I said avocados.

No, I don't think all guys feel that way. No, no, no. I think there's some guys that feel that way. Not all guys.

Well.

But you know what? We're here to have a conversation inspired by Brandon Dawson and Natalie Workman, who we got to hang out and meet with here in person with Grant Cardano's event here just a week ago. We'll see him again. Yeah, about three weeks.

Nice.

But here's Brandon Dawson says. I was like. Danielle's like, what are we gonna do this show on? And I pull up my Instagram and there's Brandon looking all fucking stealth with his stealth glasses.

Stealth?

Yeah. They listen to our show.

Successful people are not gifted. They just work hard, then succeed on purpose.

That's incredible.

Bam.

Bam.

You know what I Like that. Because I always say, hey, Bam.

Thanks, Brandon.

You can have the most potential in the world, but the hardest working person will always beat potential.

Mm.

Always.

Well, let's make little reframing here on marriage. Successful marriages are not gifted.

They're blessed.

They just work hard. They're blessed. They just work hard and then succeed on purpose. Let's talk about this blessed idea and this idea of luck, though, because a lot of people will tell us, oh, my God, your marriage is so blessed.

But, okay, so you can take that one or two ways, because I always say, like, you're never gonna see an opportunity that you didn't work towards. Seeing, like, pathways open up because you've done the work. And so you can say, like, I received a blessing, and, like, people will say, oh, I'm blessed, like you are. But on the other side of being blessed, like, you. You. You work towards that, right? You put yourself in a powerful position to where you're open to seeing more in life.

So the opposite side of blessed is big ass work.

Sure.

Right. So we got big ass work on one side, and then you got blessed on the other. The problem is people see blessed and they don't see big ass work. What they see is luck.

It's. Well, I. I don't think people think it's lucky. It is, in a way. I don't like the word luck, but I will say, like, I feel like it when you're, like, in momentum and it's like life starts to pick up. Like, again, it's just like, opportunity. It's like, not lucky. It's just like you're doing the work and you can see more like, all you're like. You put yourself in a path to be lucky, I guess you could say, like, I mean, like, because I look at what. How even, like, with our last house, we got, like, it was kind of. You could say lucky.

Kind of lucky.

You could say kind of lucky. Like, literally. I mean, I'll just share this story really fast. We moved into our, like, our dream neighborhood, what, like, six years ago, 2017. 2017. We were like, we made it. We did it. This is awesome. We're here. This is great.

And then I couldn't believe we bought in there. I mean, we could. We back up the story, though. Back up the story. How. How did we even end up in that neighborhood?

Okay, so we went to date with Destiny, Tony Robbins, that year, and they have you write what. It's not like a vision board. It's like dream kind of like a vision board. But they're like, right down, like, anything and anything. Anything and everything. You want this next year. Like, don't, like, be, like, realistic about it. Like, don't, like, just anything you want. Like, even if you're like, this is not possible. Like, just dream big. Like, I remember them saying that, like, just write down whatever you want. One of the things is like, okay, well, I want this house in the neighborhood. They're. And, like, because it was something like when we moved to California, like, even back up even further when it was, like, 10 years ago now.

Thirteen.

Yeah. Like, we. We walked down to this neighborhood, and we're like, wow, who would we have to become to live there? Like, we were those people. That's like, wow, who lives there? And so it was kind of like a goal of ours. And then we went today with destiny. We were like, one of the things that I wrote down. I don't know if you wrote it down, but I was like, I want a house there.

And then I wrote down Lamborghini Aventador. And then you said, you can't have a Lamborghini Aventador until you buy my house. So we ended up with a house and a Lamborghini Ventador within six months.

So we moved in this house. We're like, hey, we made it. This is awesome. There's this house, like, two doors down. It's three times the size as our current house.

I think you need to pause on the story for a second.

Okay.

You can let me add some context to the backside of this, because it's important.

Okay.

We come when we moved to California. So, like, life is a game of progression. Right? I'll give an example. In 2009, we couldn't pay rent. My business has been lost. Right. In 2011, I celebrated the fact that somebody allowed us to rent a home for 2,300amonth. I was so fucking pumped. Couldn't believe God approved because we'd lost everything. All of our money, all of our credit, all of our. Everything was gone.

Yeah. We didn't even have money to then.

So give it. Just, like, to give you a frame on this. So 2011. Rent 24 or 2300amonth. Super stoked. We moved to California. Rent 7500amonth. That was, like, incredible, right? And it was at that time that we moved to a place called Ladare Ranch, and we moved here, and we came down to the exact beach we live at. We didn't know where this beach existed. There was no homes. There was one home built in that development. We came to that place with our two daughters nine years ago. And we stood above it on the walk path that we walk on all the time now that hundreds and hundreds of people every day, thousands of people every month walk past, see our home, see our experiences. We stood on that walk path. We looked down at the beach. There were just green lots.

Yeah.

And we said, which of these mansions will be ours? Nine years ago, and yeah, there was.

Only like three or four homes in there.

There was only three or four. There's almost nothing in there. Our house wasn't built, and other houses we have were built. And that became our quest, which is who would we have to become? Now, Fast forward to 2016. Danielle and I think we're going to end our marriage. And it's a show. So we end up at Date with Destiny. At Date with Destiny, Danielle now cues in and taps into the universe and says, we're getting this house now. Continue. This is. This place is like sacred alignment. But let me back on. So we went from Ledere ranch home.

Yeah.

7,500Amonth. Then we moved closer to the water and Dana Planet. Like, it was like 15,000, 14,000amonth. Like, we went from 2400amonth rent, 7500amonth rent, 15,000amonth rent. Leasing a home. Still not fully committed to each other because we don't know if we're going to be together this entire time. For real, real talk here.

I mean, it was rough. Like, I felt like we had started to figure things out, but then it was like, almost got rocky again. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, we were like, oh, should we date other people? Like, do. And then I was like, now. And then we went to therapy and like, it was. It was rocky. And then I. It was funny because I. Well, it wasn't funny, but like, I. When we went to Date with Destiny and I was like, we had a lot of, like, breakthrough moments where it kind of pivoted us. And I think we realized we both. Even out of our relationship, we both wanted the same thing. Right. And so anyways, we ended up. We. It's crazy because even when we came home, I remember you were. We were looking at buying a house in the neighborhood that we were renting.

The neighborhood.

I was like, I'm just not excited about this. Like, there. I don't feel like I'm growing. Like, this isn't. This wasn't on my. This wasn't my vision. This isn't my goal. And then I remember, I was like, why? Why can't we buy a house over in this neighborhood. And you're like, oh, there's no way we won't get approved. Like, there's. I can't even get a loan. And I was like, how do you know? I'm like, we're both making money. We're paying 15 grand a month for a rental right now. I'm like, I'm like, how do you know? And you're like, no. And you kept, like, shooting it down. And I remember. I remember just thinking, like, well, I was like, well, whatever. So I get online. I'm like, researching realtors in this neighborhood. I find a realtor, he's like. He's taking me around. I remember. It's so funny. I'm like, hey, I. Babe, I. I made an appointment with a. A realtor, and over in this neighborhood. And you were like, oh, why? And I'm like, because I want. We're gonna go look. And you were still on this thing where you're like, no, we're good. We can't get in there. Like, we can't get a loan. It's not gonna happen. I'm like, well, why don't you just come look at this house with me? And. And you're like, okay, I show up. I'm like, dressed all cute and, like, businessy. You literally showed up in, like, baggy ass sweatpants, literally hanging off your ass like a hat on, I don't know, some vans and, like, a boy or T shirt. I don't know. And you show up late. You show up late. And the realtor, he's like. I'm like, yeah, that's my husband. I'm like, oh, my God. And I'm like, dressed all, like, cute and businessy, and I'm like, whatever. So. So we go around, we look at all these houses, and you're. You kind of write it off. Like, you came and look. Looked at this neighborhood, like, to appease me. And I was, like, so irritated. I was like. And I think this is what triggered the fight that we've talked about, like, in the kitchen, where you're like, I think I'm gonna buy in an Aventador. And I was like, are you fucking kidding me right now? I was like, are you like, that's when I, like, I lost my mind. And we've talked about this on another podcast, but it was crazy because we. We ended up. I was like, oh, well, we're not gonna get this house. And I kind of gave up. And then I was like, no. And I remember I found another Realtor. And I was like, hey, do you think any of them would do, like, seller financing? Cause we got approved, but not enough to, like, get into this house.

Well, the challenge. The challenge. Here's the deal. In California, there's a reason why, like, 55, 60% of people rent, right? Because, like, like, people will tell me, oh, well, you just. You know, I got a house in, like, El Paso, Texas. You're like, dude, your house in El paso, Texas, with 12,000 square feet is the size of, like, a 700 square foot apartment.

Yeah.

I have guys that work for me.

This house was an $8 million home.

I have guys that are working for me in, like, 700 square foot apartments here by the. By the neighborhood, by the office. And, you know, their rent is 7,500amonth, right? These are single dudes. 7,500amonth. Like, most people can't even compute this. Like, we live in Orange county in Southern California. Shit is expensive. So to buy here, you're. You're moving into. Almost immediately into jumbo financing. Then you're moving into super jumbo financing. Over 10 million, right? Over 7, 8 million, you're into super jumbo. Which means. All that means is down payments go down. So that means you're now moving down to, like, 80, 60% down. Which, you know, if you're buying a $10 million home, that's 4 million down. Plus you have to have cash reserves, plus you have to be able to support the cash stock. So this is not just like. So when people lease a home here, it's one thing, right? Leasing a house is one thing. In Southern California, buying a fucking home is a totally different deal. Is why people celebrate such a big deal around here for it, right? And people kind of look at us like we were kind of silly when we were releasing. They're like, oh, kind of. We kind of got the silly eyes from people in our old neighborhood. They were like, oh, just a cute couple.

But long story short, like, there's no.

Reason to make the long story short this long for. This fucking story is awesome.

The story's awesome. So basically, I'm like, no, I refuse to not consider this a possibility. And I just kept, like, pushing and pushing and pushing. And then a window opened up and we got the house, and we were able to sell our finance for, like, six months. And then we paid it off and we. We bought it. So then we're in this house. I'm like, we fucking did it.

Like, okay, so. Pause. You just. I mean, you just blew right through.

This well, I'm trying to get to this chapter of the next house.

You're starting to, you're starting to sound like a mormon Sunday school teacher who's super committed to getting to take a break but doesn't care about anyone feeling the spirit of God.

Okay, got to get to the end of the lesson.

Who cares if anyone's feeling anything powerful?

Let's not let them share elaborate the story. I was trying to get to the next chapter cuz that's the coolest part for me.

Okay, well that's the coolest part now, but at the time these were all cool things. So you call me. I, I of course show up because I'm like Negative Nancy. You know, my name changed to Negative Nancy for sure. Not getting laid that night because I show up like an idiot and I, at some level I was sabotaging myself. And we went to Mexico and, and, and like, like had a whole lot of chaos after we made the money. So you go, go keep looking at this with a realtor and the realtor and you go down to the clubhouse. Now the clubhouse is right on the front row on the beach in our neighborhood. And what I didn't tell you about the story is when we moved into the home of 15,000amonth, I was walking along this beach every single morning. I got into walking and I was walking, walking, walking. And I would see this house and on the third floor were these treadmills. And I saw this guy running on the treadmill every single day. And I would wave to him and sometimes he waved back, sometimes he wouldn't wave back. But I would look up there and I would just ask myself this question, man, fuck. Who would I have to be to be able to live in that house and to live on that floor? Like, what would have to be true about me as a producer and an entrepreneur to be able to make that happen? So we go back and forth and back and forth for two years. I'm having this experience. So Danielle and I leave this moment with me showing up like a complete fucking idiot at the first meeting. No, the packaging off the charts bad. I mean, it's not like I'm some software multi billionaire that just exited my company, could buy the whole neighborhood with cash.

You just showed up like an asshole.

Just showed up like an. And so Danielle sends me some videos from this clubhouse and she says, babe, you're never gonna believe this.

Cause you left. You didn't even come see the clubhouse. You were like, well, I gotta go to work. I was just appeasing My wife, like, whatever, yeah.

So she goes down to see some more tours, sees some more houses, sees the clubhouse, then sends me a video of the clubhouse. And she said, babe, you're never gonna be the clubhouse. And she shows it and everything in my soul, like, freaks the fuck out because what I had, what she was showing me is the clubhouse. And the treadmill she was showing me was the deck that I was looking at every single morning. I was walking by here for two, two and a half years. In our other house, I had a treadmill in my backyard at our home, our last, our third home ago, when we were still renting, I had this treadmill that I would run on in the backyard and I would look across the Pacific coast highway at the neighborhoods down below, towards the beach, and I would think to myself, I can fucking do this. I can fucking do this. I will fucking do this. I am gonna do this. I will fucking do this. I will do this. Every day out in the backyard, next door neighbor yelling at me because I put in a CrossFit gym with a fucking 15 foot rope climb. And he thought I was looking in his bedroom.

He thought you like, yeah, he thought you looked.

I'm like, bro, you're like 73 years old. The last thing in the world I want to do you and your wife do anything naked at all. I don't want to watch you do anything. Although my rope climb was high enough to go see in his bedroom if.

I wanted to, that would be weird.

So I can understand where he's coming from at this point. So, so we, we, we make the move. And this place I recognize, like, everything starts soul lining up. But coming back to Brandon's like, comment about this, like, like this idea of luck and this idea of putting yourself in there, you're not just blessed, you're not lucky. You keep putting yourself in a position to win. But in each position to win, you have to have the courage to leap.

I also think too, when you find yourself worthy to receive things, then you like, it's. Things are a lot closer than what they seem. Like. We had this story of like, we're not ready, we're not ready, we're not worthy. This is not, we can't be there. And it's. If you shift the narrative just on that and you're like, well, I am worthy. And what is, what are the possibilities? Like, if I entertain this, truthfully, if I entertain this and I go after this, will a window open up? And that's where I believe you're blessed in a Sense. Or you capture an opportunity because you're like, well, I am worthy. I have done the work. How could this be a possibility?

Well, we came into it, and what it did is in that place of really asking the question, well, what would have to be true and who would we have to be? Right? These two questions. What would have to be true? Such that. And who would we have to be such that? This was normal and natural. So, again, look at the lineup, right? We're super grateful. We can't pay rent. Draper, Utah. We can't pay rent. We're super excited to get approved at $2,300 a month. We can pay rent. We moved to Ladeira Ranch, California. 7,500amonth. We can pay rent. We move closer to the beach in dana point with 15,000amonth. Now we're making the big leap because we're making a leap to purchase, and we're making a leap to each other to say, we're committed. We're all in. Let's fucking go. Which was the catalyst of a whole new world.

Both of our names were on this. This.

We chose it that way. It's like we're going to put ourselves there. But we. We came there and traditional finance, because of payment shock and credit history, not because of cash. We could not get qualified by our primary lender, which was Chase bank at the time. And they were a paper lender. They give a shit about me. We don't care if you've been with us forever. They're like, no, we're not going to prove you. We will prove you. There was like, it just. They wouldn't even approve us at a certain level. So we asked the interesting question, which Danielle's really, really good at, which is simply, what would it take for this to be true? Like, what would it take for it to be true that we had this house, right? And we proposed seller financing, and the developer who owned the development, for the very first time in the history of their company, like, 50 years, they banked on us. And they said yes, under some ridiculous terms. Like, ridiculous terms. But the crazy part, people were panicking for us, around us.

Yeah. They were like, how are you gonna hit these terms? And I was like, cause I fucking believe.

And I fucking believe. And we did. So within six months, we had two years to hit the terms. Within six months, we rolled the traditional financing with a bank called Union bank, and then we continued to go. So now we're in a $40,000 a month mortgage and an expense on a house. You gotta look at this. Look at the scale.

It's happening. I thought you were gonna share the story of in Mexico, where you doubted yourself.

Well, we can go there real quick. You want to go there?

Well, it was so funny. We get approved. Like, we're freaking out. We're just like, this is awesome. We've got this. We go to Mexico for 2017. We go to Mexico for a little trip. Mind you, we've already been. We've already committed to these terms.

Garrett put a non refundable deposit down.

Freaks out, and all of a sudden, he doesn't feel worthy. And all of a sudden he's taking it out on me, and he's saying, you're putting too much pressure on me. You're putting too much expectations, but you don't even know. Like, just flips the fuck out. And I'm like, I don't. I don't. I'm not sure what to do here. Like, I'm like, we. You're backpedaling. I'm like, you already said I can meet these terms. I. I believed in you. And now you don't believe in yourself.

No, I didn't. I stopped believing in me. I was. I was freaking the fuck out. We were in Cabo, Mexico, because eventually part, like, just the down payment on this house would have bought the other home in our neighborhood. Like, would have bought it cash, clear, free and clear. Like, 3 million, right? So we're like. I'm, like, looking at this deal, and I'm like, fuck, dude. So I'm in Mexico. I'm freaking out. We get in a fight in Cabo at the Pedregal, which became the Waldorf. Her and I are fighting and yelling at each other in our room. I storm out like a big, huge fucking pussy, and I go running down the beach like a big dramatic pussy. And I'm fucking running all dramatic, crying and running down the beach.

I felt like I didn't even know. Like, I was like, babe, I'm here for you. Like, I remember just feeling like, I don't know how to help you right now. Like, I don't know how to help you.

I was terrified, though. Well, you were saying that, but I. But it didn't matter how much you echoed that into my soul. My soul was rejecting what you were saying because my internal narrative was more powerful than what your external validation was. So I run down the beach, and I remember, sit on this rock, and I'm just screaming and crying and yelling at God, and I'm like, what the fuck? Because again, I've got This trauma of my first round of entrepreneurism, which is building a big life and then fucking losing it. And here I am in a place where I finally got cash, I've got.

Momentum, I got a better foundation. And prior, when you had lost everything.

I know.

And here's the thing. You were making money in real estate when everybody was making money in real estate. And we lost it because we weren't smart with our money. We were making a ton of money and living a high lifestyle. And when things started to slow down, we weren't conservative. We kept spending, and that's how we ended up where we were. And I was young. I was in my 20s. I had two kids. I was in my 20s. I was like. And I was like, babe, I need money to pay the amex. And it just kept racking up and racking up and racking up. And I'm like, we're in trouble.

Well, I didn't even tell you we were in trouble for, like, six, seven.

No, I knew we were in trouble. I saw all the red signs, but I was just like, well, I don't know. He says, we're going to be okay. And everything in me is like, screaming, like, you need to slow down your spending. Like this. This isn't going to continue this way. So it was like we, like, we fell on our face because we didn't. We ignored the red flags. So I think we didn't give ourselves enough credit of like, hey, now we've got a foundation. Like, if. If something goes sideways, we're not so upside down on things. This isn't going to happen again. And I think, like you said, you were so kind of like, almost like ptsd, like, kind of scarred. And I'm like, you need to give yourself credit for the work that you've done. Like, even if things go sideways, we. There's. We can't go back there. We're not. Hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt in credit cards. We're not. We're not there right now. We have a. We're. We're stronger. We have a stronger. We have savings. We have. We're good. We're out of that ditch.

Well, the crazy part, like, I couldn't see that piece. I had to have my own snap because she's right. I mean, we had bootstrapped all of our businesses. We didn't borrow. We didn't have credit cards. We didn't have.

Yeah, we were anything. It's all cash, cash, cash, cash, cash savings. I was like, not only do we dig ourselves out, I'M like, we, we have paid everybody off. We are Slate right now. We don't have an immense amount of debt.

We had none.

We had none. We had no data at the time.

So we make the leap. I have my breakthrough in Mexico. I come back to the room. Danielle and I talk and recon. And this is typically how it goes. Because the weight of the pressure sometimes of these financial moves lands straight on my shoulders. And Danielle say it. She's like, I know if we set the target, you'll go get it, period. And it's been the history for me now, and now it's become more of a rhythm. So we move into that home, we roll the traditional financing, and there's this home on the corner that is just ridiculous. Like, it's just ridiculous. Our home would be like bottom of the food chain. We joked on the first two years we moved into this neighborhood, we're like, we're the brokest kids.

We're the poor kids in the neighborhood. And I love it.

And everyone would laugh because we'd have like our ventador and like, have like.

The nice cars in the neighborhood and.

All the Bentleys and stuff all parked up because we had. We had basically one car garage in our house. So everyone's like, all the people in the neighborhood were like, oh, it's a cute young couple that just moved in the neighborhood, yada, yada, yada, yada. And then starts the seed that Danielle plants. This home on the corner takes five and a half years to build. It could require three concrete companies. A multi billion dollar concrete company had to come into port. It's been in every home magazine. You could see our home on the fucking Internet. Millions of people have seen our house. They'd run big parties there, all these things. It was built by the. One of the princes of Dubai. Like, I mean, this thing is fucking ridiculous. And we went in and looked at it in 2019.

Oh, man. Shouldn't have done that.

And we walked in and looked at it because it was open. And they said, this is something I want.

I can't get out of my house.

It's for sale for 28 million. We just bought our home for like 8 million or something like that. And we go back to our house and what do you remember thinking?

I remember, like, I was like, oh, our house looks like a shanty stupid thing.

Which is funny because the home we were in at the time we moved in 2017-19, that that reality made our reality the previous two years from 15 to 17 look silly. And the reality from 15 to 17 made our reality from 13 to 15 look silly. And a reality from 13 to 15 made our reality from 11 to 13 look silly. And our reality in 11 or from. From 9 to 11 was pretty fucking shitty. So. But that was. I didn't make anybody feel anything. So we have this progress that happened constantly. We go see this home and it bends our fucking minds again.

Because I'm like, we've moved into the neighborhood. This is it. And I thought our house was like super nice.

And.

And we had looked at the ones.

It was. It was super nice.

It was super nice. And we had looked at other homes in the neighborhood and I felt like, like they were all really nice. But then this one is like top three in our neighborhood. Like, you're like, wow.

But it was a spec home. So literally 15, 20,000 people walked through this home and buying lots in the neighborhood. So they had perfect positioning of the, of the, of the view. There was no homes built underneath it. It was straight down to the gray. The old one.

Yeah, the old one was great. You. You open the front door of our old one and you can literally see the waves from the front door. People would drop off groceries and they'd.

Be like, oh my. I know, dude, I know. So we go with, see this home. It bends our brains. And this is the point I want you to get is at each level that we have grown in money, We've also grown in marriage, and we've also grown in our bodies, and we've grown in our relationship with our kids. And we've grown our family from, you know, three kids with one estranged to five children who are all under roof. Like, there is just this amazing growth that's happened. You were laughing about the 23 year old and his girlfriend in our basement.

Yes, I was like, it literally. I was like, yes. Like, we have literally five kids. We have six kids. Five kids basically.

And a dog need a girlfriend.

We have basically six children and a dog.

All houses. Six kids and a dog in our house. And the fun part is they can be at our house for days and we don't even know they're there.

Yeah, it's such a. Yeah, it's fine.

So we go to this house and then you start saying something, you start speaking vision over our lives on this home. Every time we walk by this thing to go for a walk, you say.

I'm like, oh, that's nice. They're adding that to our house. I don't know if I like that tile, but it'll do.

Now she's saying it. And I'm thinking in my brain, I'm like, this woman has lost her fucking money. We just barely moved in this neighborhood. Our house is great. It's fine. We have all the cars we want. Got a beautiful home, beautiful neighborhood. We're good to go. And here she is. In my mind, I'm thinking, God, she's already unhappy with where we're at. She wants more. She wants more. When is this woman going to stop wanting more?

I will never stop wanting more.

And there was the magic piece. And that was a piece I submitted to, finally for myself also, which is expansion as an individual. And success is not about a place of arriving. It's about a journey to a new place of being.

And I think I told you this, where I was sitting in the hot tub at our old home, the one in our dream neighborhood. And I'm sitting there, and I had the. I think I've shared this with you. I had this, like, surreal moment where I was like, okay, people that have exponents, way more money than you and Garrett, they want to be where you're at because you're. And I always refer to them like, you're in the pocket. You're living life in the pocket, where it's like, you.

You.

Yeah, you'll have abundance and success, but that's not necessarily what drives either of us. Like, that will come. And then it was like, you're content here. I remember thinking, like, you're content here, Danielle. Like, this is good. You're happy. You've got. We'd had a Isla at the time, and it was like, are you ready for the next leap? Are you ready for the next chapter? And it was like somebody else was asking me this question in the moment, and I was like, all fucking day long, let's do this. And I was like. I almost, like, just, like, answered myself, like, absolutely. And it was like, that's all I needed to hear. And then we. And then, like, magic just started to happen in that moment. I was like, I don't know what I just signed up for, but it felt right. It felt right. I answered, yes.

Okay, so we go from 19, then Covid hits in 20. And our family gets tighter and our focus gets cleaner, and our commitment to each other as a couple gets deeper and our commitment to our children gets deeper. And while Covid blew most people up, Covid blew us. Blew us up from the inside out. Like, our souls woke up. I found Christ. Like, we had a whole lot of things happen that were incredibly powerful during that 2019-2020. You know, 2021. Covid hits right in the middle of 20. I think we end of 20 is when things started getting spicy, though. Covid's at the peak of its experience. President Trump is on his way out. President Joe Biden is on his way in. The elections are occurring, all this, things going down, and this home has been on the market. The home, well, we were stable, but back up, back.

There's another story to this. So we, everyone, I mean, I own a salon in Laguna Beach, California. I am in the hair industry. I own a hairline and I have an education company. And everyone's like, oh my God, is your salon doing okay? Is everything doing okay? Like, what's going on? And we had both been doing a lot of in person large events, things like that, very cost high. And literally the year before everything closed down, both of us were like, you know what, we need to stop 2019. We were like, both of us were like, we need to stop doing large events. Like, we just went dead quiet. And everyone's like, everyone. This was before we knew Covid was gonna happen. I built out my entire. I went from a mastermind to. I had. I was like looking at the numbers and stuff wasn't adding up. And I was like, I'm gonna take this mastermind where we're spending all this money on large events, and I'm gonna turn this into a. A online academy for hairstylists that I guarantee will get the same amount of results and if not, even better, because I'm go organize and structure it to where it walks them through, like a beauty school online. And I took the year of before 20, before 2000. What year was. I was pregnant. It was 2019. So in 2019, I restructured and reorganized my entire business so that when 2020 hit, mind you, we didn't know this was gonna happen.

No idea.

I had converted everybody into an online academy where we still were able to take education. And if anything, I was like getting on calls weekly with my students and I like just talking them, like their salons closing. And there was a lot of pressure and stress on me because I, I was fine because I had, I had pivoted, but now I had this weight of like, being the voice and like helping other artists and being like, hey, you know what, you guys, you gotta like, just helping them get through that year, right? They're closing their salons over and over and over again. So it, it was a. We were good, but it was still kind of like a stressful year, right?

Well, that's the same thing that happened for me. If you go back in 2018, we ran our largest men's conference at Wake up, Warrior. Then 2019, we were 8, 900 tickets sold to our Warrior Con 4, which was happening in December or no, October, November of 2019. And I keep feeling this prompting inside of me. God's like, you gotta pivot, you gotta.

Pivot, you gotta pivot. But if we both had it, done.

This, like, we'd have got fucking handled.

It'd been a rough year, but we were good, which set us up to have an opportunity to get into the home we're in now.

Well, we pivoted 18 months before everybody else started trying to even think about pivoting, Right?

So what we were doing at the end of 2020, people were like, you guys have lost your minds. Like, I can't believe you're like, the world's still scared. Like, this was. Yeah, like the end of the year when, like, all the elections and everything, and. And we're looking at this $20 million home, and people are like, the whites have lost their. Their mind.

Well, it wasn't that. Like. Like, if you look, everything was pivoting. Everything was pivoting. We went to technology, we built studios, massive servers, invested in tech, doubled down on software, tripled my software, team size. All of this before COVID hit this. We were doing this for a year and a half. I wrote six different books, felt called to just start streamlining what we were doing at Warrior and give people an opportunity to be able to access the power offline. And we were a predominant event model to it. Warrior 2, Warrior Week, Warrior cons, Warrior business leadership summits, all this stuff was our entry point. Huge events, lots of people, et cetera. And we went completely away from it. So when Covid hits, we just flipped the fucking switch. I had two days of fucking, what the fuck Is the world gonna end? Where I was like, oh, shit, this could be the end. And then I was like, eh, not gonna be the end. And 5,000 rolls of toilet paper. Accidentally later, that showed up my front door strap, by the way. I went straight to Scott warehouse.

That was so funny.

And I ordered what I thought was one box.

Well, you paid five grand.

Yeah, I didn't know how much I paid. I was like, holy shit, toilet paper.

I was like, I gotta get toilet paper.

And everybody's panic. I was like, fuck this. I'll just go straight to the Internet.

That toilet paper supplied both of our offices for the whole year. And my team members, I Was like.

Everyone was coming to us.

We were the toilet paper suppliers.

Yeah, we're the fucking weirdos who got the toilet paper. We just didn't go to the grocery store. I ordered straight from the warehouse. 5,000 rolls of toilet paper showed up on my front door. Hilarious. In these boxes. So 2020 hits Black Lives Matter, Trump. We start to find Jesus. Like there's all this shit happening at the same time.

And in the midst of it, in the midst of all this, my mom says, hey, the people two doors down, they're trying to get rid of this property. They really want to get rid of it by the end of the year. Do you know anyone who wants it? And I go, that's my house, I want it. And she goes, no, no. Do you know anyone who wants it? And I go, I really want it. Can they create conditions where they'd be open to making this a possibility? And I just asked the simple question, what would it take?

We get in there without all the details of it. We end up pulling off the same exchange we did before, only this time we have 10 times more people doubting us.

And we had two mortgages at the same time. Whenever, when the market had not picked up yet.

This was January of 2021.

Everyone's like, President Trump's heading out President Biden's head now. Two months later, the market starts picking up. We sell our house and we make money off it. And we, we cash in on the.

Uptake on luxury market. We secure our castle and rolled to permanent financing and the rest is history. So here's the reason, like we've never actually walked down this tail. I want you to look at this though. 2009, can't pay the rent. I've lost everything from the first 9 year build. 2011, excited for rent. $2400 a month in Gilbert, Arizona, Danielle launches natural beaded rose hair extension training. Then does start doing her stuff. I have not Launched Warrior in 2011. 2013, we moved to Ladeira Ranch, California. Rent 7,500amonth. 2015, we moved to Dana Point, California. Rent 15,000amonth. We moved and purchased our first home in California in our perfect dream neighborhood. 40,000amonth. We then end up in the castle. 90,000 to 100,000amonth. And all of this was a progress that happened over 10 years. And the fun part is I use the money and the homes and the mortgages as a sign of just talking about rising capacity. Because if you look at our marriage from 2011 to 2022, what you have is Each one of those segments, there was an exponential increase in who we were as individuals and who we were as a couple. And luck itself as Brandon. I'm going to come to Brandon. Read this real quick what he said so that we've got this as, like, our. I gotta go find him again, though. Hold on. Here it is. Brandon, where you at? If you don't follow Brandon Dawson, you probably should. Grant Cardone's a business partner. All right, here it is. It's rolling up. Slowly. Slowly. Freezing. I don't understand how you're so cold.

Because I have wet hair. I literally just washed my hair and came straight here.

Why this load up so slow? There it is. Okay, here it is. Successful people are not gifted. They just work hard, then succeed on purpose. Successful people are not gifted. Successful marriages are not gifted. They just work hard, then succeed on purposes. Successful bodies are not gifted. They just work hard, then succeed on purpose. Listen, every result that you've wanted in your life came about from work. Danielle and I have been willing to work our fucking asses off for 10 years. And prior to that, another 10 years. So when people look at our marriage and look at our lives and people hear about our sex life and our commitment, what they don't want to see and what they don't want to uncover is the dark years. But along the dark years, there was always moments of hope. Each checkpoint hitting a moment of hope. And you can't do it alone. She could have never got here without me, and I could have never got here without her. The way we did it required both of us together to submit and be part of the conversation. So this was a. This was a really good podcast.

I know. I thought it was kind of fun to walk down memory lane. Memory lane.

This is gonna be a really good asset for all of our students, too.

Yeah. And I do. It's so funny because I feel like you're right. Like, we did it together. But I think that anybody can create that in the relationship. They're like, oh, I'm with the wrong person, or I don't know if this is gonna work. And. And I get it. You're gonna have past histories and stories that might be really tough. We had to work through past histories and stories and rebuild a lot of shit. But I ultimately believe that if both people want the same outcome, that you can create this together like you truly can. So I think a lot of times, especially now, like you were telling me, you're like, I. And I gotta get off. Cause I have a call in a minute. But I. You were telling me, you're like, God, so many people are currently getting divorced in my circle. And I was like, I think we're at that age bracket where people are like, I'm tired. I don't know if I wanna do this with you any longer. And I, And I, and I, and I get it. Like, Garrett and I have gone through, like, so many ups and downs, and we had to figure it out individually and together. And so I feel like sometimes people think, well, it's just going to be easier to call it quits and rebuild it with somebody else. But I knew at a very young age. I remember being, like, in my early 20s thinking, like, it's like, you. You're still going to run into the same problems. Like, you can't just go find somebody else and expect that, oh, this is the person that's going to make it happen. Like, we're going to connect. No, like, you really have to kind of, like, look inward, honestly, because otherwise you'll just keep going on the hamster wheel. You'll just create different patterns and behaviors and things with somebody else. So you kind of have to find somebody to where you're both committed to growing together. And both of you guys have to understand that a relationship is give and take, but it. It is possible. And Garrett and I, I feel like we're the perfect example of, like, we push each other in such a beautiful way. And it's like, sometimes he leads, sometimes I lead, sometimes we're leading together. But it's a lot of work, but it's worth it, right? I think that people want something that's quick and easy. And I'm like, but then that's not going to be worth it. If you want a marriage that is worth it, then it takes work. And people are like, well, I want a relationship that just feels easy. Don't get me wrong. We can sit and have fun and talk and communicate, and it is easy. But any relationship, if you're lying to yourself, if you don't think you have to work at it, a good relationship takes work.

The end that brings this episode to a close. So my wife can go have some conversations, can go back and close some of her new clients into the game. And I'm off to have some meetings with my team, and then we're gonna go out paddleboarding, and my wife's gonna sit on the end of a paddleboard and maybe my daughter at the same time, and I'm gonna paddleboat them around the harbor.

You wanna take Isla?

Isla would like to sit on the board with you.

With me?

With me. Me and you. I'll paddle you just.

I can paddle my own board.

She said she wants to fall in the ocean.

It's hot today.

It is hot. You're hot.

All right. Hope you guys got some value out of this podcast. I felt like it was good. Last week's was horrific.

It wasn't horrific. It was amazing. We got great.

This week we re.

Listen, here's the deal.

This week we re. What am I looking for?

We did great. I'm going to blatant pitch. WarriorCon 4 is coming up. If you haven't got your tickets, head to Warrior. Wakeupwarrior.com or warriorconvention.com we have tickets flying out of here, the virtual hybrid event of the year here for Wake Up. We are excited to have you part of that. Get your tickets at the time we're recording this. We just released them 48 hours ago. Our in person tickets at 10,000 a piece are already taken. All 150 of those gone. We had our first 5, 400 tickets gone in the first 24 to third place. Women buy or only Women cannot buy. This a men's only event. If you're an entrepreneur and you're looking to pursue the game of having it all the way, we teach it here at Warrior. And you ultimately want to experience freedom across body being balanced in business, go check it out. Wakeup, warrior.com or warrior convention.com would love to get you into that. Virtual tickets right now going for $747 per seat.

And I only train hair stylists. So if you're a hair stylist and you're interested in learning natural hair extensions mixed with business, marketing and sales tactics, you can go to MBR Education. I hold a virtual course once a month for hair stylists and all of my live and in person events are actually reserved for my academy. We have about 500 students inside. The academy right now continues to grow. So if this is something that you want to find out more information again, go to NBR Education in.

That's all we got for you. We're out. This is Gary J. White and Danielle K. White sign off saying love and like good morning, good afternoon and good night.