Bring People On the Team! | Date Your Wife | EP 060

Hey, everybody, this is your boy, Garrett J. White, the founder of Wake Up Warrior and CEO of DKW Styling, as we've come to recognize here on Date you wipe the podcast. The last few weeks that I. My wife is telling me I've not been acting very CEO Ish. So we're gonna go live in the scene during the back seat of our car here. Actually, not our car. Adeline's car. Which Side note, our bodyguard slash driver slash friend slash mentor slash fitness guru is probably like the fittest gu. Let me put it this way. If you had a driver, I guarantee you my driver's more fit than yours. He is like the fitness extraordinaire. And every time we comes and picks up, he makes sure that he hits his workout right before just so he's pumped and his shirt barely fits his biceps. All right, so here's the deal. Danielle, CEO. What does this mean? Do you actually know what the technical definition of CEO is?

Central eccentric. Operator.

Yes, central eccentric. Except. What did you say? Central what?

Central exceptional Operator. I don't know. Chief. No, Chief Executive Officer.

Nice, nice, nice. I didn't even know if you're going to be able to pull that off. I literally didn't. I was like, I'm not sure where you're going to go with this. All right, the Chief execution officer. What do you do? You execute people. All right, so listen, we're going to have a. We're going to have a conversation because we're sitting here in the back of our car. We are coming back from Cabo. If you have heard our episode here this last week, week, we were talking about surrender because we got. We got, quote, unquote stuck. I mean, I know first world problems. You got stuck at the one and only resort for two more days in Cabo, which wasn't actually bad. It was amazing. We had a great time. But we're going back. Danielle's about to head to Hawaii with the kids. By the time you listen to the show, she'll be in Hawaii with the children. I'll be in Tennessee running events, and then we'll come back together. But today's topic is going to be one I'm going to throw out to Danielle, which is this. Why you must add people to your team. Why you must add people to your team. Now, we're going to start off with the very first person we added to our team, which was a babysitter. Okay, so you're on a roll. You identified and defined CEO. I'd like you to define babysitter.

Do you want me to define what Garrett is as CEO? All right, why would I define babysitter? What does that have to do with anything in the chat?

Because it was the first person that you weren't paying attention. You're on Instagram.

It was. The first person that we brought on.

The team was a babysitter.

So what's our topic? Is babysitters bringing people on the team? Okay, gotcha. Bringing people on the team.

Yeah. Define babysitter. What's the difference between a babysitter and a nanny title? Okay, well, give me a definition split between the title of, I don't really know. We have a third title, which is home manager.

When I think of a babysitter, I think of like your 14 year old, like cousin that comes over to watch your kids. Like, I feel like it's weird if you have, you know, our, I think our babysitter's like 27. Our babysitter, our nanny's like 27. And I, I feel like it's weird to call her a babysitter. You know what I mean? And even then, like, if you have somebody that helps you full time, especially with the kids, oftentimes they help you with other stuff. So they're not really a babysitter. And so we actually call ours a home manager or a nanny. So I feel like that's just like a better title. And to define it, I would just say somebody who helps with the kids but also helps with kind of things around the home. But I think you have to be care because if you hire a babysitter, you can't. Like, I hear so many women who like, they'll hire a babysitter and they're like, I'm paying them, you know, $12 an hour. The dishwasher should have just been unloaded. I'm like, okay, well you're paying a 16 year old and they're not going to think to do that. So you're actually going to have to communicate if that's what you want done or pay a little more and hire somebody who has a little more experience.

So you just defined it right there. Right? Which is the difference between a babysitter, a nanny and a home manager is not just a title. The difference, the three is also compensation and also expectation. Now I've watched people do this all day. Like, I'll give you example. Example Inside the world of business. A few years ago, one of my clients was very upset. He was expanding his business. His business was not that big. He was, he was doing very well. By himself. But he needed a team member. He had like one assistant, but pretty much he was like a hustle, hustle, hustle, go guy. And he hired his first person. He hired her, this woman on his team. And she was making like $33,000 a year, which is like nothing. It's not, it's not like, it's not bad, it's not great. It's a good entry level position to start on the team. And she came in as an assistant to him. And then we were having a conversation one day and he started talking to me about how upset he was. Oh, my God, this woman, she's like not turning out, she's not panning out. And I'm like listening to him and I'm like, okay. I mean, the guy pays me, paid me years ago. I mean, this is what people do. Pay me to just listen and talk and help clarify things with them and then help them make better decisions as business owners and his husbands. So I'm like, okay, listen. So run this by me one more time. What are your expectations of this woman? Now, the list that he began to drop on me was the. Was the expectation list of a chief marketing officer, a chief financial officer, as well as a cheap operations officer. We're talking about three major positions which in a company of a. Of normal size would be a small business owner, small business, under $25 million, under 50 million. I think technically is what it would be considered. Under that, you're looking at, you're looking at half a million to a year in salaried payroll. But I got a guy who has a $33,000 a year salaried employee, first time assistant. He's expecting to manage the books, do all his marketing, and also build his systems and processes. This is for real. So I look at him and I'm like, bro, listen, do you understand your expectations are completely out of whack with what your compensation is?

What happens if you.

Now, now I'm going to come back. Okay, well, we've gone. Let's talk about how we've messed this up though. Because one of the current distinctions on bringing someone on the team is under compensating with over expecting. And then you have the other side, which we tried to fix because we messed this up with babysitters. Then we learned that, and then we got to nannies. But then I went the other direction and I overcompensated a nanny we had about three nannies ago.

It's not just with nannies.

I know, but we're gonna, we're talking about nannies right now while I was giving an example in business. So let's talk through. And I want you to. Oh, we've got a little FaceTime coming up from Ruby. We might get Ruby live on the show. Now. Hold on. Let's hear from her. Ruby. Ruby, talk on the show. Say hello to everyone.

Dad's recording a date.

Your wife, Ruby. What is. What is a babysitter?

What?

What? What is a babysitter?

No, I'll call her back.

No, don't call back. Call her on this. What is a babysitter?

Tori's over here.

Like, no, Tori's not a baby. Tori's not a babysitter. What is a babysitter? She's not a babysitter. She's better than a babysitter.

A babys is a baby. Wait, no.

A babysitter is what?

Babysitter is a baby that sits.

A baby that gets sat on. Oh, okay. Okay, so what is it, Ruby? What is a nanny difference between a.

Nanny and a babysitter? A nanny's, like, full time and committed and works, like, a lot and actually likes. And actually likes the kids and babysitters. And the babysitter's over here, like.

Yeah.

Okay, so I need you guys to go to bed while I'm watching my bachelor. So go, go. I'll make you some Mac and cheese. Go upstairs now, sweetie.

Okay, well, leave it to our. Leave it to my 12 year old to clearly define the distinction between these two. Okay, Bailey, I'm gonna ask you one more question because we have another distinction because Tori's actually more than a nanny. She's actually a home manager. What's the difference between. What's the difference between a nanny and a home manager? Go.

You're on a roll after the kids. And they're, like, loving the kids, but home manager and a nanny mix together. They, like, manage, like the cleaners manage, like the people who come and work at that, like, work on the house. They make sure, like, packages are dropped off at certain times. They go and, like, run errands for the parents and.

Yeah, so the minute. The minute that we start to wonder if we can handle all of your emotions and you go off and make a home run hit like you just did. Well done, Bailey.

I know.

Okay.

Okay. Love you. We're on our way home.

So you just got to your terrible caller after the show's over. All right, so. Love you, babe. All right, so we've been FaceTime parents for the past, like, five days with our kids because again, The Strand and Cabo thing was longer than we thought. But here's the thing. You just listen to my daughter explain the difference. Babysitter's part time, kind of cares about the kids, really. Just there to make sure that people, like, they live, nanny's there, loves the kids, engages with the kids, is full time with the kids, full time in the game. Right. They're with us. Sometimes they travel, sometimes they don't travel with the family, but they're just. They're engaged, they know the kids schedules, et cetera. Then you have home manager, which extends duties beyond the children into the role of taking care of operations in the house. So, like, simple things, making sure the bills get handed to the team to get paid, making sure that like, whatever it was, like something your home manager could be, whatever you consider it to be. So we actually built these three tiers inside of the way that we dealt with someone in our home because of how much. How much. What it actually gave us, which was space. And it gave us time and it gave us quality of time to be with our kids. When we were with our kids, we were dealing with our kids on a level of engaging and playing and connecting with our children. And also it allowed Danielle to build her business, allowed me to build my businesses, and allowed us to have date nights and to have it consistent. So these three levels. Now, what the problem becomes is if you have a babysitter, that you expect to be a home manager, but you're paying your babysitter $13 an hour and you think that this person should be operating like somebody who's making 40, $50,000 a year. Right. Which is just not the case. Like, that's not how it works. It's not how it operates. But there is a piece, and we're going to talk about this overcompensating a what we thought was a home manager and how it actually turned into entitlement. A few of our team members ago.

I feel like we've had this conversation on the show already.

We're talking about adding team members.

Okay, let's talk about adding team members.

We. We're discussing one right now. But you have literally half the show been plugged into Instagram.

I have not, no.

Everyone listening right now knows I've had to take over the show because everyone knows you're not even focused. You were not. You talked to Ruby for literally 12 seconds. You've not been on Instagram. Just check your history.

Okay. Do you want to be on.

Nope, we're on it. So here we go. Go we're talking about adding team members for those listening to the show right now. You can tell that Danielle's not focused on your show right now. We're gonna get her focused during the last 20 minutes. I can't not talk if you're gonna sit there and not pay attention on Instagram.

I was not on Instagram.

We're gonna go to the judge. I'm gonna put Adeline in a no win situation. I'm gonna make Adeline choose one of our sides right now. And I already know what he'll do. He'll choose your side, which means I'm gonna call a friend.

Garrett show.

I'm gonna call a friend right now. No, it's not the Garrett show.

So let's. Let's keep this topic going then.

All right, so we're adding team members. You added the point of overcompensating, right? So talk about the problem with overcompensating team members. With what? You have high expectations, but you overcompensate. This is not like a babysitter conversation. We're working our way in here.

I just feel like, what happens, like, we've hired on people, like, even in my salons and things like that that were probably making like, two to four grand a month. And they get to this place where they're making like 15 to 20 grand a month, and they, like, it's like they've had a taste of this kind of money, and then there's like, no going back. And so it creates this weird energy. I actually had, like, three girls leave my salon, and I'm thinking, like, oh, my God, like, you guys are making like, maybe four grand, working over 40 hours a week. You're making. If you average it out, you're probably making, you know, 15, 20 grand a month. Like, and so. And that's good money, you know, and you're working, you're never. You're never working as many hours as you used to. And so you run this risk. If you overcompensate people, it builds a lot of entitlement. And they literally create stories in their mind where they can't see anything else. And they start painting you as even the bad guy and, like, collecting evidence to back their story. And it's so rooted for their behaviors that they do.

We had a nanny like this, and Danielle came to me one day and she said, listen, I cannot have her in the house anymore. Like, I should not feel awkward. The way I feel awkward. I should not feel when we're going shopping, when we're doing anything. I should not feel the things I'm feeling when she's around. And yet she did. And our nanny actually became game competitive with Danielle inside of her own house. And I was like, that shit's getting shut down, like, immediately. This was like five years ago.

I think she was too comfortable. I mean, like, I really liked her, but there has to be, like, these boundaries that you have and, like, a respect you have for somebody who's employing you. And it just. I feel like it just became too comfortable. There was, like, several times where she'd just come down in my sweats and she's like, hey, I don't. I hope you don't care in borrowing these. And I didn't care. I just thought it was crossing the line. I was like, no. Like, you're not my sister. You. That. That's. That. That is weird. So from a business standpoint, I was like. Like, I just started to feel really uncomfortable. Like, I had to ask her if it's okay if I go work out while she watches the kids. Like, you know what I mean? So I just, I. I actually genuinely liked her as a person. It just this whole situation, I was like, I don't like feeling like this. She's not fit for the job. And we. I felt like for what she was doing, like, we were overpaying her. So for me to feel this way was completely unacceptable.

So there's one example of adding someone to the team, which is a babysitter, nanny, home manager. The dilemmas of overcompensation under compensation. You know, over expecting, over expectations. Under expectations. Okay, we're going to talk about the next team member that was added to the equation, which, actually, I think it was added long before that. When was the first time we had somebody start helping clean the house and do some laundry? Because you fought this passionately. I know we've talked about this before.

I've honestly never fought a cleaner. I grew up, my mom always had a cleaner. Like, to me, that was just like, you had a cleaner. It's like, it's like in. I know in, like, London, they have an au pair. Like, you just have an au pair. Like, it's not. You just. It's not like, oh, my God, you're, like, living this luxurious lifestyle. Like, for me, I grew up with cleaners and I just. We always had a cleaner. Literally the only time we didn't have a cleaner was like, we. We literally were not paying rent, we couldn't afford our house, our cars. Like, I was just saving my money. To eat at that point. So that, for me, like, the cleaner is not a big deal. But what. What is so funny, and I'll tell you what a lot of women do is they clean their house before the cleaner. And that's where I would probably fight Garrett, because I'd go through and I'd pick up, and he'd be like, why are you. I don't get what you're doing. Why are you making the beds? Why are you organizing before the cleaners get here? And I was like, well, my story was, well, they just clean around it and they just stack it. And a bad cleaner. Yes, does that. And we actually had an experience here in California where we did have cleaners. She'd bring in her whole team and something about them. I was just like, I. I didn't trust them because I don't know, like, there was just a lot of revolving people in her team. And I just. There was something about it I didn't trust. And then I kind of felt like they didn't do the best job. But it was like, to the point where I'm like, I didn't know anyone else who could clean, and I just. I didn't want to do it myself. And anyways, what ended up. We ended up firing her is because they stole some cash. And I caught one of her girls because I had stuck like a $20 bill in my purse. And then I was sick all afternoon, was laying there in bed. Anyways, I went to order a pizza that night. I was like, oh, yeah, I'll pay cash. I have like a couple 20 sitting in my bag and both. And like, the cash was gone. So, like, I knew that was like, the only people that did bed in the house. Anyway, so we ended up firing them. And. And then I. My next round, when I found a cleaner, I was like, okay, I'm gonna take Garrett on this idea of, like, not cleaning before the cleaners come. And if I can teach them to organize for me and tell them exactly what I need done, then. Then I just know that they're gonna, like, get it done. And so we hired a lady named Jasmine. Super sweet, super good energy. And I never felt uncomfortable, like, leaving my house messy. Like, you know, sometimes you tiptoe around and you're like, oh, sorry it's so messy. I never felt like that with her. Like, she. I'd come in. In the middle of cleaning, she'd smile and she'd be like, folding my underwear or whatever. Whatever she was doing. Cleaning up off the carpet. I don't Know, And I just. And she just would smile. And I was like, oh, I like, I like your energy. But also I had to be very specific. And I was like, listen, I need help. I need help. So she comes twice a week. And I'm like, I need you to, like, organize. I need you to help me be the house organizer. So between, like a home manager who. I'm like, hey, if you see projects that need to be done, you need to delegate it to the cleaner. Then it like, opened up this whole another level of me not feeling like, ah, shitty cleaners didn't do a good job because I gave them better drinks direction. And yeah.

You have done a much better job of not cleaning for an hour before the cleaners show up and.

I have them do my laundry. A lot of women are like, oh, I. I just.

We're not about that.

I know. You know what, though? I'm super. I love clothes. I mean, if you follow my blog or any of my stuff, you know, I love clothes and I'm super picky with my clothes. Even now, I still get irritated because the cleaners, like, me and my daughter Bailey, we're almost like the same size now. And literally, they always get our, like, they've even getting. Getting our bras mixed up. I'm like, oh, my God. Like, one's. One's a really little one and one's a really big one. Like, come on, you can't get that mixed up. And so it. But laundry was one thing that I hated. I didn't mind doing it because I'm very particular with how things are sorted, what things go to the dry cleaner, what things are dried, what things are not. But I hate folding it and putting it away. And so I asked my cleaner, I'm like, can you. If I do all the laundry, can you fold it all and put it away? So she does a good job. And it's funny because it. Even though it drives me, I don't know where some stuff is, she puts it away way better than I do. Like, she color coordinates it. She rolls my shirts like, it's way better than I could do.

She's amazing. Jasmine's grown with us too, which is super fun. She'd been with us for like four years, I think, and we've watched her build a little company because she does all my offices, she does our salons, she does our house. She does like five or six other people that were connected to his house. She. She went from herself to a team with the same T shirts. Although I gave her a Hard time because she rarely shows up with the T shirt on. She just has our team show with the T shirt on. But here was the thing. Jasmine was a single mom, single mom with kids, and was struggling to pay the bills and has grown and built a business inside of our world. And so part of what I think people don't see, particularly as you start to get busier and busier in business. And you, and I know some of you listening right now, you're in a situation, you might be thinking, oh, my God, these are first world problem, Orange County. And like, who are these guys? I get it. I mean, trust me, I was not raised in this kind of environment either. But I also wasn't raised by entrepreneurs. Now, I was raised in scarcity with very little money, with very little understanding of business and creation and business, etc. And so my mom and dad also were very hard workers, very hard workers, which is where I got my addiction to working hard. But so I never experienced any of that growing up. So in the beginning, it was very weird for me too. Like, I was feeling. I felt weird. I felt like, almost like I should be helping clean up. So, like, when they would show up, I would feel like I needed to scrub things with them. I'd be like, oh, shit, I don't want you to clean the toilet. I'll clean the toilet with you. I have no problem cleaning the toilet. I clean toilets my whole life, so I'll clean toilet with you. And that I didn't. What I didn't recognize. One day I was sitting there with one of my friends, and he said, listen, dude, you have to understand, like, you think this is something that's bad, that they're doing, like, meaning because you don't want to do it, or you're handing it off, or you're creating something for them, but what you're not seeing is the opportunity that you're creating for them. He said, I'll take an example with your cleaner. Look at her. I was like, she's built this little business inside. She's financially taking care of herself and her children. She doesn't have a man that's supporting her. She's a single mom. She has built a little business. She employs three other people. And all of this is because of you. Like, do you not recognize it if you were selfish enough and stupid enough to just take all this on by yourself? Not only does it affect you as a producer, affect your marriage and affect your family, but it affects the lives of other people around you. And I started to look at this, because I know how big of a difference it is when we employ people in our companies, like, how big that was. But I'd never actually looked at it that way from people at our home. So the second team that we added were cleaners. There was a third team member that we added. We actually added him in the beginning was kind of not as much, but. Which was a handyman man. Handyman, which is Theo, is actually how we got Jasmine.

I used to think, like, so my dad builds homes, and he's very, like. You think of, like, manly man. Like, he didn't. He didn't. He was, like, there building hands physically, like, my whole life. Like, people see my dad, they're like, your dad's a brick. I'm like, that is a man of hard labor for his whole life. But he built a successful business and whatnot. And anyways, where was I going with.

You talking about your dad being a manly man? You're about to.

Oh, no, I was. So I grew. No, no, I wasn't making fun of you. No, no. I literally, like, went to this day when my parents come visit us. My dad, like, well, he'll get some lacquer, and he's, like, polishing my cabinets, and I'm like, dad, what are you doing? And he's like, oh, I fixed your garage. I change your filters, and I polish this. And I was like. And I'm like, thinking, like, why doesn't Garrett do that? But, like, Garrett, like, Garrett doesn't do that. And my. My dad is, like, literally knows everything that has to do with a home. And he would, like, notice a crack on your wall. And, like, pat, that's just how he is. And so it was so funny because, like, in the beginning of our marriage, I would get, like, irritated, and I'd be like, you need to do this. This is a man's job. And he's like, I don't. Why don't you do it? And so this is this argument of, like, well, who's gonna do it? And we'd have, like, air conditioning units go out and swimming pools go out and, like, the houses.

Remember when I. There was a moment back when we were first married, I was really trying to prove my madness. So I took on the swimming pool. I was like, you know what I can do? I can take care of the chemicals in the swimming pool. I got this handled. And you were like, no, you shouldn't do that. I was like, no, I am going to do this. I can take care of our pool. Sure enough, within one Week it was green as hell. No one could swim in it. Like, literally, they were putting up biohazard signs. Helicopters are flying over. They were banning the neighborhood. There was an Eboli outreach because of my lack of ability to heal the pool.

Like, oh, you, like, maybe you over chlorinated. No, literally, like, our pool had like, moss growing out within a week. I was like, what?

I.

Her pool has moss? I was like, not only did you screw up the chemicals, but like, something is growing inside of our pool. And the guy came back and he's like, yeah, this is really bad. We're going to have to like, empty this completely. I was like, you trying to take care of the swimming pool cost us like $1,200. Like, I just remember. I was like, stop doing that.

So then what she didn't know is it like, I hated my whole life. I had to wash the dishes all the time, and I had to mow the lawn, take the garbage out. Like, I did everything I was raising. Like, we just did it. Like, that was it. I worked. I scrubbed toilets. I this. I worked in cattle slaughtering plants. I worked construction. I worked hard labor. Like, I did all this stuff. Like, that was my world. I would. That's all I knew, like, that world. So for me, when I got to a place where I was like, man, I. I could not do this again. Like, I remember, I. I was like, remember even long before that, you got the cleaner first. The first person, even before a handyman we added was a lawn guy and a yard guy because I was trying to mow our lawn. I got all pumped, went to Home Depot. I was like, I'm gonna give myself a lawnmower. Then I get the lawnmower. But I don't really know how to take care of, like, plants and stuff. And it's not even that I couldn't learn how to take care of plants. It' I didn't give a. I would come back on a Saturday after a week of work and look at the lawn and look at the trees and look at the bushes and go. The last thing I want to do right now is go outside and trim all this. Like, I'm not 80 years old where I find purpose in my trees and trimming my bushes.

I think that that was like, the difference in, like, our generation and how they were raised. And like our parents, like, even though we have a little bit of that in us, where, like you said, your parents made you do the lawn and, and the dishes and things like that, I think now people. People like you said you're busy working and doing everything. Other things. Whereas, like, in our parents ages or when they were younger, it was just like, the women's responsibility to, like, do all the home stuff and the men's responsibility to do, like, the manly, handy, handyman stuff and mow the lawn and do all that. But it. It actually. I mean, I suck with plants, too. Like, I have plants inside my house, and I think that women are expected to, like, keep plants up, and I'm like, I keep killing plants. Like, so, like, neither of us are very great at, like, God, we sound like we're special or something.

We are. We're special at killing plants. So you look at the people on the team. We have a babysitter, which evolved into a nanny, which evolved into home manager. We then had a lawn team which dealt with our yard because we liked that yard. Nice. But I, like, I looked at how much I was paying to get the lawn done every week and how much I stressed out about it, and I was stressed out about it, and it wasn't worth it to me. I was already working so hard. I was like, last thing I want to do is fucking get grass clippings in my socks and underwear. I was like, I don't like this. And then the crazy part, my lawn guy, the very. The second lawn guy guy, he was like our yard guy. So he managed the whole yard. The lawn, the sprinkler systems, etc. He was so pumped about sprinkler systems. I would come over in the office and he would see me in the yard, and I would come in and he would just want to talk to me for an hour about how pumped he was about the new filtration system, inside of the irrigation system, inside of the sprinkler system. I'm like, dude, listen, I appreciate how passionate you are about it. That's why I hired you. That's why you're on the team. That's why we love having you part of the family unit here. But, like, I honestly don't give a. As long as the grass is green, that's great. And even there, even if it's just kind of green, I'm okay with that too. Just, like, make sure, like, stays up to par with our HOA so that we don't get banned and get fines on the other side.

The other end of it, where we've had companies, like, I swear we're, like, paying them to show up every month, and they come, like, once a month, and I'm like. And it, like, gets to the point where I look at Garen, I'm like, does our lawn look like. And he's like, yeah. And, you know, if we notice that, it's really bad.

So let's look at our rundown on team members. We have a babysitter or a nanny or home manager. We have a lawn team. We have a cleaner and who make. Cleans house, house and laundry. Okay, so these are team members that you can be considering as a couple. And we're going to get to a point about why having all these team members matter. Then the next person we had was the handyman, which was Theo. And Theo became. Theo became like, our, like, family. He was. He's just an amazing guy, runs an amazing team. And it started with a small project at my. At my office, and then it turned into doing stuff at the house. And now our. Our home manager and our handyman coordinate on stuff for the house if things get broken, et cetera. I mean, I'm. I'm not Danielle's dad. Like, he's showing up to visit us, and no bullshit. He will walk around the house for the entire first day, and then he'll come to me the next morning. No, he loves it. He walks up to me the next morning after I get back in from surfing, and he'll come in and he'll be go. I'm like, yeah, what's up, Dave? You. You run me over to the True. You got yourself a True Value hardware store around here? I'm like, I don't even know, but we could Google it. Let's check it out. I was like, yeah, there's one, like, three miles from here. You want me to take you? And then he looks at me like a. Like a. That's just super excited, and he's like, yeah, let's go. So then we head over to True Value, and we walk up and down the aisles, and he just picks up all kinds of gear. And then we come home. He spends the whole day doing things. One of the things that made me laugh so hard was I had this squeak in the door in the garage. So I wake up early and I go walk every morning, but it was so damn loud and squeaky that I would open, it would go like. It just echoed through our house. And I'm like, oh, my God. Here. So much for trying to be sneaky and getting out. So the girls and Danielle stay asleep. He buys this, like, WD40, which I knew about, but I didn't do anything about it for literally six months. And Dave shows up. He Squirts a little squirt. Squirt does it. Puts in some grease, pulls it apart, puts the door back together. Thing hasn't squeaked ever since. So part of what I'm getting to with all of these people are handyman and everything he does for us, and then the person that we're actually with right now over the last year and a half, which is Adeline. And Adeline's actually driving her vehicle right now, not ours. I don't even know why I keep saying our vehicle. I feel like I'm in the car so much that it's like our family. Me, Adeline, you, the rest of the team. Adeline drives my clients. He drives my wife. He drives my wife and her girlfriends when they go out. My kids, myself, picks us up back and forth from airports, drives us around on date night if we're going to be consuming a little more beverage than maybe anticipated. And all of this. And I'm sitting here and I'm looking at just the unit that has become the idea of family. And just like a company, an entrepreneur looks at their business and says, I cannot grow this by myself. I must let go in order to grow. I mean, have you considered that inside of your family life, it is no different that as you and your partner become more and more successful inside of the game of business and life, that it's actually selfish for you to continue to play the game so small in order to play bigger? That means you're going to have to involve more team members.

I like doing it. Here's. Here's. Well, here's, here's. The funny thing is, like, a lot of women, like, say, for example, take the laundry. You know, I own a salon. This topic comes up, and women will be like, saying how they hate doing the laundry or whatever, and I'm like, well, why do you do it? Then? Just hire it out. And they're, oh, you know, I don't mind it. And all of a sudden they're. They're tuned kind of. They're. Yeah. And I was like, so be careful with. With. If you're doing things out of guilt and if you had somebody do it, could you let go of that guilt and could you find something else fulfilling to put your time towards and even keep in mind, too? I know, like, when. In periods of my life when I haven't worked and whatnot, when I'm doing stuff around the house that I don't enjoy doing, I tend to be more bugged at the children or, hey, I'll do this in a minute. Mom's got to finish this. And I think when I. I think if you can eliminate some of that stress, even if it's housework, then you can take that extra time and spend it with your children or go on date nights. And it just alleviates a lot of unwanted stress. So you can't let guilt dictate or determine in hiring out help.

So the final summary for today's show is this. You cannot build a family without a team. It's just. It's difficult, if not impossible, to build your family to ultimately become what you want it to be in your marriage, to become what you want it to be by trying to do it alone. And this is the story that so many individuals play, and this is the game that so many individuals play, which is the story that you can do this alone, that you can do life alone, you can do marriage alone. You don't need anyone else. And this is a story that must be shifted. And it's a story that had to shift in me, a story that had to shift in Danielle. And I know you're listening to all this, and there's going to be some of you listening to this. Economically, you're in a place where it may trigger you. And I understand, man, it would have triggered me back in the day, too. I get it. My consideration for you is this. Don't be triggered from a place of angry, of these dicks, or this guy's an asshole, or how dare they, or that's Orange county life. That's not how it works for me, particularly all my friends from the Midwest. I don't have anything against it. I'm just saying, like, I know it's very different when you talk to people who live on the coast, on both sides, West Coast, East Coast. But just consider the principle, which is it's okay to bring people on the team to accelerate your marriage and your family. Like, it's okay. And if you were to look in your world right now, where is the one place in your life where you could bring someone on the team to free you up, to actually be the thing that matters, which is being there in time with your wife and being there in time with your children? Because if you try to do it all and you spend all day long outside in the yard, you realize that although you're in some kind of stewardship idea that you're taking care of the family, that the $25 you may have spent to have somebody take care of the yard that day, you could have spent the whole morning at the park with your children. And when you start considering the cost of not having people on the team and the cost on your marriage for not having full time help with nanny or a babysitter, even a home manager or even a consistent babysitter so you can go on date night every single week, you'll start to recognize the greatest cost that you're experiencing is an unseen cost of the impact of constantly being wrapped up in duties and responsibilities and activities and behavior that keeps you busy and keeps you locked away from actually experiencing the beauty of what your marriage and your family could truly be. So, Danielle, what are your final thoughts here from this show?

My final thoughts, I guess, would specifically be to women. Let go. Test it out, see what happens. See if it makes an improvement. Test it for a couple months, see what happens. See what opens up in your relationship with your kids, your spouse. Maybe you take on, you know, even if you're not working, maybe you take on some kind of project that you find a ton of passion in doing. So anyways, my advice would be to just kind of let go. And one quick story I'll share really quick for Garrett and I is when we were kind of financially struggling and in a sticky place in our marriage, one of the things that we both committed to doing was date nights. Now we moved out of state, we had no family around us, we didn't know anybody. I had two little kids, so I was like, pretty high anxiety about it. Plus, we didn't have a ton of money. But we made a commitment in order to rebuild our relationship that it was important to go out without the kids and go on date nights once a week. Thus the name of the show, date your wife. So it was for us, I felt like it was a big deal, the idea of going out and, and we lived in places not as expensive as Orange county. And even the idea of paying a babysitter and then going out was like $200 a week. And I'm like thinking, oh my God, I don't think we have $200 a week. But I knew, like, if we committed to it, we would find a way to make it happen. And we did. So I think in my experience, test small things like that that may alleviate stress in your life, whether it's housekeeping, date nights, anything like that. Test a little bit of it and see movements that makes in your marriage, in your life, and you would be surprised with how you're able to make that happen. And that the story that, oh, we can't afford that was just something that you were telling yourself.

And there you have it my friends. That is this week's episode. Hope you guys have a fantastic week. By the time you listen to this, we will be dividing and conquering. Actually I think we'll both be back the day this release from our little trips with me to Tennessee to go speak of funnel hacking live and do some trading and business out there. And Daniel heading to Hawaii with the kids for a little girls weekend getaway on the youth the ski trip or ski week for the school. And I hope you guys have a great week. We look forward to talking to you next week here on Date your wife a few places you can check out more notes on the show. Notes and tips and tricks on this is head to dateyourwifenow.com if you'd like to follow more with Danielle. Make sure you swing over to DKWStyling.com and as always, if you want to plug into the Warrior movement as a man or a woman and you're looking to plug into what we're up to, you can head to warriorbook.com and get yourself started today. That's all I got for you. This is Gary2White signing off saying love and light. Good morning, good afternoon and good night.