Building an Empire while raising a family. Date Your Wife.

Well, there. My friends, welcome to the date you Wife podcast. My name is Garrett J. White, the founder of Wake Up Warrior, and I'm here with my beautiful, amazing daughter. No, my wife. I was thinking about our daughter Isla, who just left the room in her princess dress, who now officially calls me King Garrett.

That's because when she walks into the room, you're all, nope. What'd you call me?

That's right, King. And then my other. My teenage daughters call me King too.

So cute. So, Isla, this morning, I'm like, I have this little outfit laid out for her. We're just going to the gym. She's going to the gym daycare. And I just grabbed like, some little shorts and a T shirt and her Nikes, and she's like, oh, no, I'm not wearing that, Mom. I'm like, dude, what do you mean? It's just a T shirt. We're going to the gym. She's like, no, I. I'll be back. She goes upstairs. She comes down in like, like a tutu. She had like her ballet flats on, this ruffly tank top. She had her purse. She. She had a tiara in. She was like, I'm ready.

I was like, you know why she.

Was dressed like this? And she smelled like perfume. And I was like, where did you get perfume? She goes, ruby gave it to me. And I was like, do you have a friend at the gym? She goes, yeah, his name. I can't remember his name. Bob. Or not Bob.

It was like, I don't know what his name is.

He's like, yeah, I met a kid at the gym yesterday and he's going to be there today. I was like, oh, my gosh.

And she told me that. She's like, he's six, almost seven. But four and a half year olds can definitely be with.

Okay, so the cutest thing is. So I go to pick her up, and the little boy is at the little gate where you let him out. And he's like, just peeking over. His little head's peeking over the gate. And he's like, bye, Isla. Bye. Bye. Isla reminds me of, like, Barbie and Ken when he's like, hey, hey, Barbie. Hey, Barbie. And Isla's just like, bye.

Oh, yeah. She is boy crazy.

Oh, she is going to be. She is going to be an aggressor. She is definitely so boy hunter.

She's a hunter, just like Bailey is.

She's so funny.

So let's look at the difference between. Between our kids in the life they have now versus our children when we first were raising Bailey and Ruby.

I always tell people, I'm like, I have toddlers and teenagers at the same time. I'm like, I don't know if it's a blessing or a curse. I'm like, who has toddlers? And all girls, by the way. I'm like, we literally have toddlers, which. That's hard. If you have toddlers, you know, two toddlers, a two year old, a four year old. I'm like, and then I have a 13 year old and a 17 year old. I'm like, if you have a 13 year old and a seventeen year old, you know that that's hard. And we have both of them all in the same house. But yeah, I mean, it was. I honestly feel like how. Like, it was almost like we started and then we got a redo.

Yep.

It's like, we didn't get divorced, we just got a redo.

We got a redo.

We got a. We got a redo. We got married super young. Got married. We're both from. Well, I'm from Utah. We met in Utah. Got married. I met you when I was 18. You were 25. So you're seven years older than me.

Yep.

And I was like, this guy's way too old for me, but ended up getting married at 20. And I always knew I wanted to be a mom. Like, when people were like, what do you want to do? And I was like, I want to be taken care of and I want to be a mom.

You think that's a problem? Because a lot of, A lot of, like, I mean, I know you went down the producer path, which we'll talk about in a second as to why, but, like, this is like, as a desire that, like, I think I wouldn't.

Be the woman I am today if I hadn't gone through it. I had, however, which would, like, I wouldn't know any different. Right. Not to say I wouldn't be any less happy, you know, so. Or more happy or less happy. But I am who I am because of, like, the trials I went through.

Yeah.

But I. I'm. I'm telling you, like, I had no desire to work. I was like, I don't want to work. I want a man who takes care of me. I expect him to produce and I want to have lots of babies. And that's. I think that was part of the reason I was attracted to you even though you were older. I remember thinking, like, he's cute, but ultimately I remember thinking at a very young age, like, he'll take care of Me, you're very ambitious. Like obviously you're like still finishing up your degree. But like I would tell my mom, I'd be like, it doesn't matter what this man does, he will be successful. Like I just saw that in you and that was very attractive. And so I was like, here's my guy, here's my meal ticket.

And then what was it about me that had you feel that way? Like what was I doing?

How was I older? And you were very charismatic. And it's funny because you're like, yeah, you're like, what made you feel that way? Because you were sharing a room with like six dudes and you were 25 and you drove the biggest piece of shit car I've ever seen. Yeah, but it was you. It was I, it was like I saw you like, you like, I was like, I mean in college you're like, yeah, you have a shitty car. Everybody has a shitty car. In college. I mean I had a nicer car because my parents had more money and they gave me, they. Well they helped me on get a loan and I got, had like a Honda Civic. And not that it was like super nice but I mean you don't expect people especially like when you're younger in college, like if somebody has a nice car, you're like, cool. Did your parents buy you that? Like nobody has money. Like if you have a nice car, you just like. I dated a few guys in college and their parents did buy them their cars. They didn't go out and buy them. You know what I mean?

They had nice vehicles.

Yeah, they had nice. Well like, like the trendy ones like Parker has right now, you know, like BRZs and, and there was like a car called like a Celica or something and like, I don't know, BRZ even.

A thing back then. I don't think they were, they weren't.

It was more like Jeep Wranglers and stuff like that. But yeah, like the guys that I dated, I'm like, dude, you're 21, you didn't buy that Jeep. You know, your parents bought it. And maybe you're making payments, I don't.

Know, at a thousand dollar Dodge, Dodge.

Plymouth, but this is how you know that I like saw you because like you literally picked me up in your friend's car because you were embarrassed about your piece of shit car. And then it was like our third date that you picked me up and I was like, oh, whose car is this? And you were like, oh, it's mine. And I was like, oh, I almost Thought it was weird you borrowed your friend's car. But I also thought it was cute because I was like, oh, he cute. He was trying to impress me. So I kind of like, like that about you. I was like, oh, cute. And I was like, eh, I, I don't. It's probably a good move. I think if you would have picked me up in this shitty car and I didn't know you, I'd have been like, no. So it's probably a good move.

The thing that you don't tell about that story is the fact that the blazer that I borrowed was a girl by the name of Stacy. And Stacy really liked me.

So you knew you could use Stacy.

So I borrowed Stacy's car to take you out.

I bet you like that.

That's a little bit rough. It's a little bit rough. I'm panel of karma on that one. Over the years, okay, so we have, we have a lot that has changed from like, over the decades as we've been together. Tons has changed and shifted. We're seeing people now, even big name people getting divorced. The rounds of divorce seem to be coming again. And we see this happen with a lot of celebrities who are married until things get hot and then they get divorced. We're watching it happen across the board. I mean, a whole generation of kids now being raised that don't want to get married at all.

I think the toughest thing and why people don't stay married, especially they get to this place of they're like, I don't need you. And I'm like, yeah, of course you don't need somebody in marriage. Marriage is work.

Yeah.

Like, it takes this element of surrender with each person where the marriage is not just about me, the marriage is not just about you. So you have to be able to like, give to the partner. Right. And so I think people have this low toleration and that's why they get divorced, because they're like, screw it. I don't, I don't need this. I don't need this in my life. I don't need this drama. I don't need this person who doesn't respect me. And it's like, well, right. She might be feeling the exact same way.

She probably guaranteed she's feeling the same way.

But that's what I'm saying. I think that a lot of people don't stay in the fight because they are less tolerant. They just think like, well, I can, I don't need this. I can go find happiness somewhere else. And I'm Like, I'm a firm believer that, like, it, like, it might get easier, it might not. You know, that's why you have people that are on their fourth marriage, because you're like, well, maybe we sat.

We sat in that, you know, a couple different times of, like, this decision to continue to fight and continue to put in the work to be together. And there was. And I remember back in 2016 when you. @ least the way you tell a story was. I mean, we've gotten to. That was probably the closest to us being at a point of divorce at that time and being like, listen, we are at. We cannot seem to get over these. This hurdle that we're facing right now.

We were both in so much pain, and it's like, we didn't know what to do. But the reality is, is I had to ask myself, am I doing everything I know possible, or am I just, like, keep colliding and think I'm with the wrong person?

Yeah.

Right. And so I kind of had to switch that narrative. And it's like, I remember when we got to that place and we had the two kids at the time, and I remember thinking, okay, can I walk away from this marriage saying, I did everything in my part and not just say, oh, we're just keep butting heads and we keep getting in arguments and fights. Can I honestly say that I put effort into my marriage and myself? And I was like, ah, that's a tough pill to swallow. And no. And the reality is that means that I'm going to have to get uncomfortable to get over this hump, to get over this collision, to get over this fight to. To connect and create what we wanted inside of our relationship.

And did you. What was the thing you needed to work on?

I think a lot of times you don't even know what you need to work on. I just remember even still being feeling, like, pretty young, and I'm like, I just married the wrong guy. Like, yeah, I think I just literally were so, so different. Like, maybe I just married the wrong person, and I need to just accept that and move on. And I was like, okay, well, what if that's. That's an easy. That's an easy owl. I could tell myself that story. Or I was like, you kept bringing up, you know, therapy. And I was like, okay. And I had always looked at therapy as something like, oh, I'm broken, or I don't want to admit that I'm in therapy. And I finally was like, okay. So that was like, a big piece for me is just like, acknowledging That I did need help because I'm like, that person that always pretends like everything's perfect, and I don't want anybody to know that I'm stressed or not happy or whatever. So for me, like, just saying, like, yes to therapy was a pivot, but there's been so many pivots that we have done. It wasn't just one thing. It's like. It's like when people want a healthier body and they want a magic pill, you're like, it's not one thing. It's all the little things that you learn from. And so for us, like, just having somebody in the beginning to communicate, have a sounding board to get through tough conversations, I am convinced that most. I'm not even convinced. I know that most couples argue about the same damn stuff all the damn time, like, the same topics. And it's like the same fight comes up, and you're like, how do we keep having this same fight to where it gets so exhausting for both people? They just tuck it under the rug, and then they're resentful. They're resentful because they haven't actually learned how to get over this argument to get over this fight. And so then they just get triggered because it comes up again. So inevitably, like, any. Any fight that you're constantly having with your partner, you've got to figure it out. Like, you've got to figure out how to communicate better, you know? So that, for me, it was like therapy kind of opened a door. And then it was, like, really, like, looking inward with myself of like, okay, like, you were complaining about not being wanted, not wanting to have sex. And I was like, I want to have great sex, too. And, like, there was just like, so many little things where I just had to, like, come out. Come out of my comfort zone, even inside of marriage. I was like, okay, yeah, I don't like something as simple as sex. Where I was like, I don't really want to have sex right now. But I was like, you know what? Act flirty. Like, like, if you're dating, your guy comes on to you and you're not really, like, that excited. You're not going to, like, straight on them. But some reason when we're married and we get comfortable, it's like, not tonight, babe. You know? But like, if we were dating, I just. I mean, I would entertain it, right? I wouldn't push you down. So it was like, almost. This is like. That's kind of how we even came up with this podcast, like, date your wife. I was like, well, what did we do when we were dating? It was like, did we allow ourselves to get so comfortable that it's just like, you can say anything to your partner now, you know, like, so, I.

Mean, think about this. Like, we, we have been together. It, like, it's. We've been together for 23 years. That's a lot of time. And I think about all the different versions of us that have been together over 23 years, even just in the last, like four or five years, those are different versions of us. We went through Covid, we had two more kids. Like, our whole life has changed. The home we live in, the way that we operate in business, the things that we're doing, like, the way we operate, like, there's all kinds of things we're doing now that we weren't doing back then either.

I think too, like, everything we've gone through, like, it should have. It should have broke us, right? We had every excuse to be like, well, that didn't work out. I mean, down to like, we were so disconnected after our second daughter. You had the unemotional affair. We lost everything. Like, it was like we were raised in this Mormon culture inside of Utah. Like, everything in my reality, in my box and my frame that, like my stories, I was like, wow, I just got the rug real fucking pulled out from underneath me. And so I was like, okay. It just, it. It allowed me, though, to challenge every story and to although hard to rebuild the life that people see today. Yeah. And so I don't know, for me, I'm like, I'm. I'm grateful for those challenges. And I'm, I'm. I'm like, Even though it wasn't necessarily what I thought my path would be, I'm like, well, it. We fought through it, right? So we not only were given a challenge, but we stayed in the fight.

Yeah.

We lost everything. And we rebuilt individual brands and businesses and kept our marriage alive and went on to have two more children. Now we sit here in a $25 million beach mansion, you know, and we have this incredible life and we travel. We just got back from a 10 day vacation in Dubai and we have multiple nannies and staff. And it's like. I mean, it's wild. Like, if I take a moment and I step back and I look at our life, I'm like, I really. I have to remind myself the work that we did to get here. And it was interesting. I was just doing a recent podcast and I think sometimes when you've gone through a lot, you have to remind yourself, like, you really do, because you feel like you're, like, normal. You're like, oh, I'm just like, one. Like, I'm like everybody else.

That's. Yeah, I've done it all. I'm good.

But, like, you'll. You'll meet somebody who has left less life experience, and you're just like, you have to remind yourself almost, like, who you are.

Yeah.

And I was recently, like, doing a podcast, and I. She asked me something about, like, what would you tell, like, mom entrepreneurs out there? Like, and I just, like, broke down, like, sobbing, and it almost took me back to, like, holy, like, when times are really, really hard. And it made me have this appreciation for, again, staying in the fight and not saying, like, so many times, even in business, I could have been like, oh, you know, because I've always wanted to be a mom. That was, like, my number one thing. And so many times in business, I could have been like, oh, you're being selfish. Your husband can pay the bills. Like, I could have, like, abided by that story. And every time I would feel this kind of, like, tinge of, like, oh, you don't need to go there. It was almost like, wait, wait a minute. Like, it would be selfish not to challenge myself. Who am I not impacting? Not to say I. I'm not a great mom, but it's like, for me, in that moment, I created better boundaries with my kids so that I could be a mom and still scale my business. And so. But I had to. I had to not listen to those limiting stories of, like, oh, you're being selfish. Oh, just be a mom. And I had to stay in the fight and get through that. And. And like I said, I was able to simultaneously do both. And if anything, I realized I'm like, okay, well, if I've accepted this calling that I want to build a business and be a mom, then I've got to create the rules for that.

Yeah.

And when I did that, I was like. It was like, when I, like, started firing clients, I stopped working Saturdays. I stopped doing all these things in the hair industry. Those were the rules, and that's what you had to do. And I was like, I'm not going to do that anymore. And it was so freeing. And not only. Not only did I have more time to spend with my kids, I started making more money because I started delegating and hiring out. And, like. And you kind of came in and, like, helped get it off the ground. And I was like. It was almost like, God was like, I Need you to make. You make this decision. And if you can make this decision, I'm gonna show you the path. And so in that moment of being like, no, I'm not being selfish. I am a mom, and I am meant to impact more people. It was like God's, like, good answer, green light. So I feel like we're faced with these oppositions and these challenges throughout life, and when you say, yes, yes, you'll see a path. And a lot of times try. People try to see the path before actually saying yes.

Yeah, that's so powerful. And it should, like, across the board. My life, your life, our marriage, everything has always been preceded by the big yes. It's like, yes, okay, I'll go. Yes, I'm all in. Yes, I'll do this. Yes, I will go. And then from the yes, I will go, the path gets clear, things open up. Even a year ago, you know, you felt compelled to say some things to me and share some truths with me that were really hard for me to hear. And those truths awoke a new version of both of us. It compelled us both down a new path together as a couple. You know, this has been the constant game, though, and now we're back in this rhythm at a new level, doing new things. Is it perfect? Never. It's never going to be perfect. There are always things that we're working on, always things that are falling apart. Always things are going to need to be worked on. No matter where you're at in the house right now, something's broken. Like, our house is big enough, and there's enough going on that something's broken. Like the heater for the hot tub.

Is now 15 grand. I'm a.

What the heck? Yeah, it's like light bulbs going out. I mean, there's like 1200 light bulbs.

Like a mini hotel. We're just maintaining a mini hotel.

But all of this is our courage to go that a lot of people just don't have anymore. They're more interested in watching it. They want to guarantee podcast real or listening to a podcast than they are actually doing.

What is people want to guarantee before they're willing to say yes? And that's what's crazy because it doesn't work that way.

So you saying yes last year, last spring, and saying yes to. I've got to say what I need to say in order to get our relationship to go to another level. Like going that place with your kind of truth and sharing your truth with me. At that point, what was going on in your mind about speaking truth? That was very hard for me to hear and very hard for us as a couple for a bit.

I think a lot of times there's just, it's like that small whisper, right? It's like, hey, you should do this, you should do this, you should do this, you should do this. And you're like, nah, I don't need to do that. Nah, I don't want to do that. Oh, that might be uncomfortable. That's going to be too much work. The biggest thing I hear with people, too, is like, oh, I don't have time. Like, time is irrelevant. It's based on what you prioritize.

Yeah.

And, like, so anybody who says they don't have time, I'm like, the time literally is irrelevant. So even, like, down to, like, just, just recently, like, every time I, I, I say I have that click and that connection, every time I, I do what's required, I'm like, it takes this weight off of my shoulders. And I think, how many times do we feel compelled or called, but we just, we can't say yes? And then the minute you say yes, it's like, it's, like, freeing. And I was even doing a post just on my Instagram yesterday, talking about, like, I have been wanting to write a book for over a year, and I'm like, I'm just a dummy. I'm a hairstylist. Like, whatever. Like, I mean, that was my excuse. I don't actually think I'm a dummy. I think I'm, I'm very smart, and I've done a lot of shit in life. I just, I really had this story of, like, I don't have time and I don't want to put the work into it.

Right.

And I. And also, I felt, like, unqualified. I'm like, I'm not, like, the best writer. Like, I really am not. I don't even read books very often, but I love consuming audiobooks. I'm more of, like, a visual person. I love watching things.

Like, most people. Most people listen to audiobooks.

Yeah. Like, I, I, but that's. I'm saying I'm like, I felt very unqualified and called at the same time. And I'm like, God, I can't keep ignoring this. And I was like, you know what it. I'm gonna commit. And when I, like, almost like, made that commitment to myself, like, I felt it, I was like, oh, I have. I've made the commitment. And now. And now, because I said yes, it's like, it doesn't matter. I'm gonna show you. I'm gonna show you. You. All you had to do was say yes. And I was like, okay, trust the process, right?

Tell them the title of the book.

I don't know. I don't want to tell. I don't want to say it. But there's. There. I've been playing around with different titles.

I think set.

I was like, I'm gonna write a story called Earth Story. I have a story of life, and I have a podcast called the Big Money Stylist. And I was like, I'm gonna call it Big Money Stylist. That's the name of the book. And then I was like, you know what? I'm not just a stylus anymore. That doesn't resonate with me anymore. Like, yes, that's how I started. That was the tool that I used to get me to where I am today. But that's everything in life. I felt like it was like a series of yeses. And we were in Vegas this last weekend, and I was, like, talking about getting a ghostwriter, and I said, guess what? In life, God is your ghostwriter. And, like, if you say yes, he will. He will help pave a path for you. And then we were like, oh, God is my ghostwriter. Because there's been so many times and pivots in my life where it's not. It's like me talking to me or God talking to me or Higher voice or whatever you want to call it is like. It's just clear. It's sharp, and it's like, now, you know? And I'm like, yeah, wow. And all I have to do is say, okay, let's go.

Yeah. And you did. And about the domains. And I am confident that this section, the name of the book.

It felt right when we. When I said, I was like, oh, yeah, there's amazing.

It stopped the whole conversation where you're in Vegas in the pool.

Because there's been so many people where I was like, yeah. When I feel lost and I say, yes, I am led. And so I was like, huh? God is my ghostwriter. That's cool. And I'm not even, like, super, like, religious or anything, so I'm like. I mean, like, we go to church.

The best title ever.

I think it'll grab some attention. I mean, I don't know. I. The only thing I can tell you is I'm like, I might not feel qualified, but I have a great story. And so I feel called to share this story, to give other women and entrepreneurs permission.

So in the spirit of ghostwriter did you talk to that company today?

I have a call with him on Monday, and then I have a couple other companies I reach out to.

Okay, good.

I get sweaty when I commit to stuff because, like, when I first committed. Because, like, when I first committed to do competitions, I'm so competitive with myself. I don't want to just do it to be like, oh, I wrote a book. I'm like, I want to write a book that does well, that inspires and impacts, but that's how books should be written.

Yeah. So you're feeling the pressure of actually having committed because you really.

Because when I commit, I'm like, I want to do well.

I love it. So you're going to publish a book and probably sometime in the spring, next year.

My goal is to finish it this year and then create some kind of.

Launch marketing plan for it next year, next spring. So. And the title is Go God is My Ghostwriter. And there's a subtitle round that we were playing around with too, which is like, like unlocking. Unlocking power, production and purpose.

No, it was like, give yourself permission. Something around permission. Like, can't remember the subtitle, but I don't remember.

We wrote that down, too. Let's go track that down somewhere.

Yeah.

So we're writing a book. This is a new piece for you. And you also never. I mean, you never would have imagined you were doing podcasts. You're speaking all the time.

These are things that I've always. Things that I was like, I just want to be a mom. And it's. It's almost like, like, okay, well, we got some others. You can do that, but we have some other stuff in store for you. And I'm like, okay, so that juggling.

Game between being a producer and also the guilt of being a mom, like, this is something that every woman faces.

And I feel like. I feel like at some level I broke that. Like, there's been so many times where I'm like, absolutely fucking not. I will not.

How did you break that?

It came. Well, the first big time. The first big time I felt this was. That was like what I just shared. Like, there was one night I came home. I had been working at the salon all day. I was in the process of building my brand. I came. I literally took my kids, dropped them off of school, went straight to the salon, worked like a 10, 12 hour day, came home, they were already in bed. Then I was finishing my emails, my blog promotions, like, all this. And I'm sitting there and I'm so Tired. And I'm, like, typing on the computer, and I literally just, like, fall to the ground with this fatigue, and I'm just, like, sobbing, and I'm, like, feeling sorry for myself, and I'm like, you should quit. And I hear this. This. This voice in my head saying, you should quit your mom. Why are you doing this? You like all this guilt. And then I had. It was like, room. Like, it was like. It was like this crazy experience. And every time I share it, I, like. I don't know why I get teary, but, like, it was like a calm. It was like a calm, literally, like a blanket was like, you have no idea who you're going to impact, and you would be selfish to quit. And I was like, oh, my. Well, I guess. I guess I got big plans. And so it was just a series. It was like, that broke me. So anytime, like, I feel like, that mom guilt, I'm like, boundaries specific lunch date with your kids. Like, it. For me, it's like, at the time, it was boundaries. I was like, I have to set boundaries because I. I don't want to be a mom and not see my kids. That's stupid. And I refuse to believe that because I'm a hairstylist, I have to burn myself out like, that. I'm not doing it. And so I was like, okay. I literally fired all my Saturday clients. I doubled my prices, like, overnight. I was like, nope. And. And it. And it. I think it shattered me because I didn't lose any clients, and I, like, tripled my income. And I was like, how many stylists are abiding by these rules because they can't say yes? And so, like, that was, like, my biggest, like, mom guilt, like, breakthrough. And so now there's times where, like, I feel guilty, and I'm like, just a friendly reminder, like, check in, like, hey, you haven't seen your kids a lot. Maybe make an effort to, like, touch pace with them. Go talk with Bailey, see how she's doing. So now I don't let it control me and dictate what I do, but I let this. This mom guilt really just nudge me and be like, hey, let's go check in with our kids. Let's go have a day with Bailey or Ruby or whatever it is. And I think that's really the intention of. The feeling of guilt is just kind of a friendly nudge and not to, like, live in the space of guilt.

But you have done an amazing job at it, number one. And number two, I love you, and I love how beautiful you are when you share.

I was like, I'm not gonna cry over this story. I already cried about it on my last podcast.

It's beautiful. I love it. This is a part of you that. That I didn't get to experience a lot of people didn't get to experience for a long time. And now here in the last, like, year, it's a part of you that's now, like, on the surface and being shared more freely. It's not that you've not shared your emotional side with your students over the years, but we're getting more of it. And I see you fight for time with our kids. I see you fight to be an amazing mother. I see you put in the time and the energy. I see you also put in the time and energy with your business and your brand, and you're still hustling and making that work too. I see you taking care of yourself physically. I see you committing to your own spiritual disciplines. I see you committing to us and the work you put into planning date nights and being part of planning our trips. I see you and how you care for the house and run the team. I don't for who you are in the day to day and taking care of your face and your hair and your eyelashes and lips and shoes and.

All the things I don't like when people are like, oh, you can't do that. I'm like, watch me. Yeah, I'm gonna all of it chip inside me. I don't know.

Yes. And it's like, for. As your husband and sitting and watching you go, it inspires me. It inspires me to keep going. Like, there's no way for me to take my foot off the gas here because I've got a woman in my life who's constant pushing. And this is the problem that a lot of couples face is that not only will they not collide and not only will they not cast vision with each other, but each one of them is not individually inspired by their lives.

Right.

And this wouldn't work. If I was not inspired by my life and you were inspired by yours, I would become a dependent, clingy little whiner. And on the flip side, if I had vision for my life and you had no vision for your life, and then we were going that direction, it would be the same. And there's this dynamic that's opened up between us that I want all couples.

And I think too, it's like, when you see growth in me, that's inspiring. That, like, that's inspiring to you. And same with me. Like, that's why even when you started doing, like, the fitness stuff, I was like, ooh, what you're gonna unlock, I'm gonna be so proud of. And it's so. It's like. It's. It's. It's not just, like, trying to get your significant other to, like, grow, but you're like, hey, if you push yourself, that's going to inspire them.

Yeah.

So I. And speaking of taking care of yourself, standards.

I know you've got to go to an appointment, so we're going to wrap this show up. Here's one thing. It's interesting that if I look around at couples who are constantly, like, at war or battle or they're just in silence and they're not going to verbal violence, is that they won't look in the mirror at dealing with themselves. And so everything becomes a game of projection. Well, my wife this and my husband this. And if Danielle just did this, then I could be this. And if Danielle just did this, then I would be able to do this. If Danielle just got me here, then I would be this. And yet there's this other frame that comes in play that is so much more powerful, which is what makes this work. Danielle choose to live her life for herself, meaning the most important person in her life in the beginning of the day, and taking care of her is her. And then from that place comes me and the kids and the rest of our game. The same thing in me. If I don't take care of me, I have nothing to give her. If I don't take care of me, I have nothing to give the family. If I don't continue to invest in myself and my mentality, my spirituality, my psychology, my physicality, my financial mind. If I don't continue to invest in me, then every year that goes by, I can't offer more to this amazing woman and vice versa. So the standard you, like you are the standard. If you are upset about the way things are going in your marriage, look in the mirror. If you think that you're married to a fucking idiot or you're married to a selfish bitch, or you're married to a total asshole, here's the good news. You chose them. So what does that say about you? You did it. Like, if you pull this all the way back, no one put a gun to your head and said, you have to marry this person. You chose it. And the good news is, because you chose it, that means you can also choose to be something different. But it starts with you choosing to Rise. And that is how I ended up getting Botox first time, because Danielle was committed to that and she took me to the Botox and.

No, and veneers too. Like, your teeth were, like, moving. And you thought I was like, being like, such a. For being like, babe, why don't you look into that? And I was like, I found a dentist to do veneers. And it was so funny. I'd been talking about it so much, I was like, I'm gonna go get them. So I went and got them. You're like, well, those look really good. So, you know, sometimes you gotta do it for yourself. And the other person's like, well, I want that. So I gotta run. It's been fun, guys. I'm gonna let him close it out.

All right, well, here we are. A couple details on this again. Remember, dateyourwife.com is the opportunity for you and your spouse to come participate in a weekly call with us and our teams. Kyle Carnahan and Whitney Carnahan are lead trainers of that call every week. Come learn the Warriors Way. Come learn it with your spouse. Come have an opportunity to be in conversation with other couples who are also pushing and fighting for this habitable lifestyle and a new level of freedom. On the flip side of this, too, at the core of all of what we're operating in is this one game, which is the worst way. And it is a simple game learned and easily are executable for men and women around the world. We have tens of thousands of people playing this game every day inside the Warrior app. It is a game of power, purpose, production and profit. Would love to give you a 30 day free trial of it, as well as the Warriors Way book and the rest of the curriculum that comes with it. To gain access to that for free, head to warriorlaunch.com for the rest of you, thank you so much for being here. Danielle has officially left the building and I'm wrapping this show up. She's heading to go get herself. I don't know, I think she's got an eyelash appointment or something right now. And we went over a little bit, so this is all we got for this week. We look forward to seeing you next week here on the date your wife podcast.