Communicating in the Stars | Date Your Wife | Ep 009

Well, hello there, my friends. This is your boy, Garrett J. White, your co host here at the Date your Wife podcast. Welcome to episode number nine. Number nine. This one's gonna be a shorter one. Danielle, tell them why it's gonna be a shorter one.

It's gonna be a shorter one cause it's Saturday and we got kids stuff to do.

It's gonna be a shorter one because we got kids stuff to do. We got some kids stuff to do. The kids stuff ever get in the way of doing stuff, or is kid stuff the reason we do stuff?

It's just part of the stuff. I'm just irritated because I didn't have time to wash my hair.

Well, you didn't have to come do the show. I could have done it by myself.

I just was thinking that. I didn't realize we had so little time.

Yeah, well, you were lollygagging. Like you were doing some serious lollygagging.

I was in.

You pulled into the driveway at like 9:15. And then we didn't get out of there until like, 1040. Mm. Why did it take you so long?

I wasn't thinking. I don't know. Saturday. I got Saturday brain.

All right, so let's get to the point of why we're doing this show. We're going to. If you're new here to the Date youe Wife podcast, you may have never heard of anything about us. And if you haven't, will you go ahead and Google us? Google Danielle K. White. Or Google Garrett J. White. You can Google Wake Up Warrior. DKW Styling. NBR Tribe Warrior Week. Warrior On Fire, Warrior Wealth. You can look at Natural Beader Bros. You can look at Big Money Stylist. There's a lot of shit that we're up to in business, but the piece. We're here on this show. Well, Danielle, tell them why we're doing this show. I mean, you're irritated cause you didn't get your hair done already. And this is gonna be a shorter show cause we gotta go pick the kids up.

So we are doing this show because it was time.

It was time. It was time to do what? Time to do the show or it was time to wash your hair and you're still irritated cause it's not washed?

No, I'm. I am also feeling slightly nauseous.

You're feeling nauseous? Really?

But I'm gonna. I'm pulling.

You're focusing.

I'm just gonna be real.

Do you want to tell them why you're feeling nauseous?

I don't Tell them later.

Tell them later. All right, we'll tell them why you're feeling nauseous later, you guys. Hint, hint, hint. All right, anyways, so we are here, and we're going to talk today about communication. And interestingly enough, it'll be our shortest show to date, and it's going to be the one on communication. We do this every single week. We're going to talk about a different topic here. Date your wife. This is really being powered by the Wake Up, Warrior movement. And we do this show because of a lot of different reasons. Men and women trying to have conversations together and be connected together. It's a difficult game just in life in general. And underneath a framework known as the Warriors Way, we've begun to lead thousands of men around the world in 27 different countries to empower them to be able to take a stand as individuals. But also inside of that stand as individuals, they're learning how to do this with their partner. And that's what Date your wife Pocket's about. It's the first time Danielle and I have ever done something together on a show. And today we're not going to talk about sex. Today we're not going to talk about money. Today we're not going to. Well, we could.

We're going to talk about communication. Let's get on with it.

Let's get on with it. All right. Communication. Recently, you've been studying about yourself. Tell us about the studies you've been doing about yourself because you've been studying yourself. You used to tell me it was bullshit. You would never study anything about yourself because you figured you already knew yourself.

Astrology.

All right, tell about this.

I was simply studying astrology because I like to understand personalities better, and I like.

You were studying other people's personalities or you're studying your own?

No, I was, like, kind of studying all of it. And specifically, like, I was studying your personality. I was studying mine because there's times where I feel like we can't communicate, where I'm just like, oh, my God, you're from another planet. Turns out, according to astrology, you are. So now that we've gotten that out of the way.

So I am from another planet.

Yeah, I'm.

What's the one thing that's so interesting to you? What's the one thing most interesting to you that you've learned about.

We got married.

Okay, tell us about that. What did you learn in astrology? About. You're a Taurus. What am I? A Gemini.

You're a Gemini and a Taurus.

You're a Gemini and you're a Taurus. I don't even know what this means. But you do. So give us a little insight on what this Gemini Taurus thing is all about.

Gemini. Well, Taurus are. I just like reading about it. I'm like, oh, yeah, that sounds like me. But they're like sweet and easygoing, but kind of stubborn. They can be stubborn, I guess.

And that's why is the word kinda very much bold? Is it bold in the words that you were reading? Do they bold and underline and highlight that one?

They don't. But you know what they said? They said that Geminis will often refer to a Taurus as very stubborn, even though a Taurus may not see themselves as stubborn. I would like to reframe it as.

Saying, because you are literally stubborn.

Stubborn. Yeah. For all of you who know a Taurus, like, fuck off and just know that it's not stubborn and it's committed. It's hard working and committed.

Okay. I would give you the jarred working.

No. And it says that about Taurus. It says they're usually hard working, but they enjoy beautiful things in life and balance. And I was like, amen to that. Right?

Yeah. Well, you've introduced me.

And they said it also says they have high standards and they enjoy the finer things of life.

And that's why you married me.

Yeah.

You have high standards. You married me.

Yeah. So it was interesting.

I'm at the top of the totem pole. Right up pretty much there. At the top of the totem pole. There I was. The finer things in life.

It wasn't like one specific website. It was like a bunch of websites.

Okay. You started studying this while we were in Hawaii. Why'd you do this? Were you just bored? Or did you feel like this calling to study yourself? Cause you normally don't study yourself that way. You know yourself really well, but you normally don't study.

I was sitting there with Bailey and sometimes I'm even trying to understand Bailey. Cause I feel like she's a lot like me, but she's a lot like you too. So I'm all.

She's like a blended mix.

Yeah, she's a blended mix. So I was just trying to understand all of us better. And then I just kind of got like sucked into the vortex. And I was like reading about everybody. And then I was reading about like a Gemini and a Taurus relationship together and like all sorts of stuff. So you should read about yourself.

I do. I've read about myself for like 15 years.

No. You don't study astrology.

I have.

You do not.

It's called a natal chart and it's actually.

Tell me about a Gemini. Okay, Tell me about a Gemini.

Astro wow dot com.

Tell me about a Gemini.

Not a sponsor of this show, but it was a. It's a tool that I use in sole purpose booklet.

It's great that you're giving them a shout out. Now.

Tell me what do I know about Gemini.

Yeah, what do you know about a Gemini?

We run the universe. That's what I know.

That's actually not what it says at all.

It actually says it Gemini. Geminis have the gift of two things, number one being the sexual guide.

Oh, my God. It actually says the Taurus is better in bed, so let's put that away. And secondly, it says that you are very good at communication. It said that's probably your strongest suit and that if you try to argue with a gemi. No. They're so good at negotiating, flipping the argument. Even if you're right, they will flip it. You will be wrong. And they said that's hard for a Taurus because a Taurus usually is right.

Shit.

So better bed and also better communicating, I guess, are my strong suits. So let's just go ahead and chalk that up.

Should we just end the show now?

We're good. Have a great night and we'll see you on the next show. Hope you enjoyed this.

Well done, you crazy woman. I'm taking back control. If you're watching this show, I've literally just taken her off the camera. It's just me now. Geminis. I feel for you. All right, so there's this understanding of oneself that actually directly affects communication. Now, I've been studying myself for a very long time. Danielle kind of understood herself better than I understood myself. So I've spent a lot of time understanding myself through study. I've taken a lot of tests. Colby tests, strengths finders, disc assessments. What other shit have I taken? Color code tests. I've gone to huge workshops, seminars, experiential training events. I've been studying Scientology. I've studied inside of Buddhism, Hinduism, Christianity. I've studied the Quran. I've studied spiritual books, scientific books. I've spent the last 15 years trying to figure out who I am. And Danielle, obviously, on one beach with a margarita, figured her entire shit out in about 10 minutes. Me, on the other hand, it took me 15 years to figure out what was going on. But here was the thing that was interesting. I used to think Danielle was a dog.

Thanks.

But I actually found out that you were a cat.

Nope.

You're not a cat.

I'm not a cat either.

What are you?

Can't put me in a box.

What I mean by that is that I had all of these assumptions about how she operated, and the assumptions were derived directly from what I assumed was true for her, based upon what I assumed was true for me. Now, Danielle, what you're finding out then is that we are not the same people. Is this accurate?

Yeah, well, it's more of, like, I'm just trying to get a better understanding.

Of.

How we operate and why we do the things we do.

But why do you care about it? Let's make this about communication, because it literally is.

I think a lot of times with communication specifically, that's what triggers people. You could say something and it could trigger somebody, but if you don't have an understanding of who they are and what they're coming from and what their intentions are, triggers them. And it just kind of. I don't know, just trying to find out what. What makes us tick.

So you shared some things with me here recently that actually affect communication.

What did I.

You shared with me that you were upset at me. Oh, you weren't. You weren't upset, but I got upset and triggered. And then I attacked you and reframed like a Gemini does, and you were like, whatever, but, like, what were you sharing with me? Share with them what you were sharing with me.

I can't remember.

You were texting me and we were talking on the phone and I was heading to go float, and then it turned into a little bit of a battle. And you were not trying to turn into a battle, but I am a Gemini, so I turned it into a battle. You were trying to communicate about what you actually want.

Well. Cause you're always asking me. You're like, if you listen to some of our other shows. Garrett's always like, my love language is like, tell me, touch me, fuck me.

Ttf, my friends.

It's interesting because he always had this story of me being an ice princess and I'm not very touchy feely and all this. And I'm like, I actually feel like I am, but I don't. But I'm also like, if I don't feel like I'm connected with somebody, I'm a little bit cold and, like, just.

Kind of like a little standoffish.

Standoffish. And like, I'm just kinda like, you gotta warm up to get into my bubble. And so for, like, when I was kind of reading about you and your personalities. It basically was like a Gemini can live in a box as long as they have communication to the outside world. And they just. They're always like, go, go, go. They love change. They love variety. If you don't like to go out, they will most likely go out. And Garrett doesn't go out. But you're often like, working late and you' I got this project and this project and this project. And I was like, I don't care if you were the manager of a grocery store. Like, your personality is like, go, go, go. And I was like. And I have tried to like, change that, but it's to the point where I'm like, okay, I need to accept it. But I also believe in a relationship if like my love language or my form of communication is like, I need somebody to kind of be there with me in time and that kind of thing. It's like, we both have to find a way to meet in the middle. And so I noticed with Garrett this last week, I was like, gosh, it seems like during the week, like, we go out twice a week on date nights, which I think is super important.

We have another date night tonight.

Yeah. And it's great for us. But I was like, you know, I'm just bugged because like every other night I felt like this week it was like you were working till like 7. It was like 7, then 7:30, like 8 o'. Clock. And I was like, oh my God. Like, by then it's like you spend an hour with the kids, like. Cause you're excited to see that. And it's hard to have like one on one time. It's fine to have family time. Or sometimes I'll use that time. Like when he gets home at 8 o', clock, I'm like, oh, good. I can. I like to have like an hour of me time where it's like I'm just kind of shutting my dreams. Yeah. So it's like you'll play with the kids from like 8 to 9, and then it's like 10:30. Yeah.

They don't go to bed.

They don't go to bed. I try to start yelling at Garrett about 9:30. I'm like, it's a school night. Because I like to be very. I'm like, I like to have a structure at nighttime, which is weird because you're so routine. It's weird that you're not routine with bedtime with the kids. But I'm always like, so tired and like. And I'm just kind of like all Right, well, you'll put him to bed. And he's like, okay. And sometimes I do, but usually it's scared. That puts them to bed. But anyways, I was expressing to him. I'm like, hey, like, you. You have been working, like, till 8 o', clock, like, every night. And I was just trying to say, like, you know, one of my things is like, I'd love to spend more time with you. And instead, he got irritated and started getting mad at me and flipped it into an argument. And I was like, of course you do, You, Gemini. That's what you do. And so I was like, whatever. And instead of being triggered, I was kind of like, I get that. That's like his mo. That's, like, what he does. And so I just kind of was like, I'm not gonna talk to you right now. And, like, I just, like, hung up and defused the situation. Then he started a text battle, and I was like.

He started texting me first.

Oh, yeah, that's true. Because I didn't want to yell at you. So I was like, I'm just gonna text him like that. And then texted me, because I was like, I don't want to get triggered, so I'm just gonna end this conversation.

Then I audio noted you.

Yeah. And then I was like, that fucker. And so then I.

Then you text me, and I audio noted you again.

Yeah. Either way, I was like, listen this. I kind of came to the thing. I said, listen, I'm not trying to start an argument. And I learned that, like, with your personality, like, you're. You're always gonna be right. And so that's fine.

It's not time you acknowledge it.

I was like, no, you like to win the argument. Let me rephrase that. You're not always right.

Well, I was like, you know, I just saw my window. I was like, oh, she just said it. For the first time in 17 years we've been together. You're always right. I love it.

No, you have to always end an argument thinking you're right.

So court. I'm put that as my ringtone.

Such an asshole. Anyway, so we ended the conversation, and I clearly won because he said, sorry, and I'll make sure that I am holding more often.

That was after I floated in an isolation, you know, Epsom salt float tank for an hour. I had some thoughts in there.

Good for you. And I still went.

So we came back, and here was. Here was when things started going back and forth, though. I was like, listen, like, here's how I feel. Right. Because what we were talking about is how we feel now. I realized two things. Number one, my wife was actually giving me what I wanted. And yet here I was kind of rejecting what I'd wanted. I wanted her to actually communicate with me and tell me what the hell she wanted. So she heard. She was trying to tell me what the hell she wanted, and I was getting pissed and flipping it on.

I even brought it up so nicely. I was like, you did do it. Nice studying. And, like, I just know that I need, like, more time. And I know you like to go, go, go. And then that's when I was like, you could. And you were like, well, I'm under a lot of pressure. And I'm like, I'm validating that you've been under a lot of pressure.

You didn't say that.

Yes, I did. You didn't look back at the text. You looked back at the text.

Not before it went to the text battle in the conversation.

Either way, I know at some point I said, hey, I know that you're stressed out.

That was after I sent you three audios.

It doesn't matter. You're missing the point.

So after.

After I had said, like, I know you're stressed out. All I'm trying to bring to your attention is, like, you, this is what I need. And you're always asking me so, like, it is what it is.

And then I came back and I shared something with you. I shared with you about, you know, banks and making deposits. Do you remember this? I see you, like, four minute hours, and I was like, what did you take from this? Because we never actually. I never knew. What did you take from this?

I clearly gave you a heart emoji.

Heart emojis don't mean shit. I'm talking about deposits. So one of the things we brought up is that we were having this conversation and communication. I said, listen, the problem is you don't. You don't make any deposits and tell me I'm doing a great job, which is very important for me, because words of affirmation are very important. You were not making deposits.

Communication is such a big thing for you, and you just always want. You just always need tons of validation and tons of communication and tons of praise. And I also read. And I also read about you that, like, you. You act like you are like this demigod. No, no, this, like, super sexual being. But I was like, oh, I am. You are. But you're more you. You're. Your personality is. You need so much more to feel connected, like you need it in, like, every area, like, and one of them that's big for you is communication. And I would bet that that's bigger for you than anything else.

Surfing is pretty big. Communication is also very big. But I'm not going to. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna take the naked exchange. Put it down on the lower level. It's up there.

No, I disagree. I think if you were married to somebody else and you were getting laid every night, you'd get bored.

You think I'd get bored if I got late every night? Are you open to testing this? Are you open to testing me getting late every night and see if I get bored?

You wouldn't give me the time to get late every night. I'd be like. I'd be, like, waiting at home naked. And I'd be like, garrett's still not home. He said, but I am fully. I'm ready, and he's not home. That's so weird. It's 8:05. It's 8:45. It's so true.

Okay. All right.

So, well, our communication is going well, this show. Let's move on.

All right, so let's come back to this, though. You and I, years ago, actually, probably our biggest breakthrough on this idea of being able to communicate with each other came down to a book we had read called Love Languages. Now, you didn't really read it. I think you just cruised through the COVID and then made some assumptions. I, on the other hand, actually read and studied it. But it actually opened up some conversation with you and I about what we both wanted. And I think it was the first time that I realized that my wife a, like, she didn't want to be touched, and she didn't want to be. Which is weird, cause you don't want to be touched. But you're telling me you do want to be touched. Now I'm like, what the fuck's going on? Because I was about to make a point. But recently, with these star charts, you've been telling me you do want to be touched.

No, I was like, yeah. I was like, I love cuddling. I love, like, sitting on the couch. And, like. But you're like.

You do? Yes, but you're always on your phone.

I don't care. I don't want to talk.

So you want to touch?

I just want to, like.

But then I try to put my hand, like, on your breast or something, and that doesn't work out.

Oh, my God. No, I just want to, like, cuddle. I don't want like boob grabs and.

Ass grabs and ass grabs and boob.

Grabs and then talk about her feelings. I don't want to fucking do that. I want to sit there. I want to look at my phone, I want to debrief, and I want to put my legs on your lap, so shut up.

I don't want.

Okay, I just want.

I don't want any ass boobs grabs. Boob grabs and I don't want to talk about my feelings.

No.

All right. You're like an anomaly, woman.

Oh, my God. Ladies, if you will please back me up. He thinks I am crazy. He says I am not like most women. I'm like, I disagree. I know that you like to talk about your feelings, but I do like.

To talk about my feelings.

And then I try to express my feelings to you and you tell me to screw off.

Okay, well, let's come back to a piece here. So part of this was getting to understand what mattered to each other and also being able to help fill up each other's gas tanks. So when Danielle's gas tank feels low, she has zero desire to be able to fill up my gas tank. When my gas tank's low, I have zero desire to fill up her gas tank. And we start to drift, and we become strangers in the night. That stranger in the night goes and drifts into weeks and weeks and weeks, and we go sometimes months and months, and next thing you know, we're like, this is bullshit. We're getting divorced. And that's literally our pattern. And that always came down to the fact that she was trying to service me the way that she wanted to be serviced, and I was trying to service her the way she wanted, the way I wanted to be serviced. So, like, I would. If I send her a love note, she doesn't give a shit. So I had to start realizing that I send her love notes because I want to send love notes basically to myself. So I send them to her. Can I put Danielle. Put Danielle in there?

Can I send them to you?

You want to outsource your love. You're looking for somebody in the Philippines to outsource this, too. I mean, you probably could. I mean, you know, the thing is funny, I'm happier. Well, then don't tell me about it. Go and get me a daily goddamn love you note sent via text.

Don't outsource other things at 6:15am you can't outsource other things. K. Just.

Oh, you mean like outsource my. Outsource being home? Like, I'll just have a Guy show up at like 4:30.

I can't outsource other things. I'm not gonna send the same love note girl to you.

Oh, you're not gonna send out. You're not gonna outsource sex.

I know.

And send me, send me a side thing. All right, listen, like, well, I, you know, I could actually hire a guy and just have him show up at 4 o'. Clock. He's like, for me or you? Yeah, he just sits on the couch. You put your legs on him. And I was like, bro, don't worry. You just sit there, she'll put her legs on you. I pay you $20 an hour. She'll be good.

Nice.

I'm just playing.

He doesn't have to say anything right now.

He can't say anything. But when the kids are looking and.

He just sits there.

Yeah, good looking guy just sits there. You put your legs on.

I like it.

This is a new business. It's like a blow up doll for moms, for women that just want a guy.

It's a little awkward when the kids come in the room.

Who's this? Ah, this is Eduardo.

Just ignore Eduardo.

Eduardo is my. What do they do with the dogs? You get a dog. A service dog. This is my service. This is my dog.

He's my service dummy.

All right, so communication is a real deal though. And part of being able to understand your partner is being able to understand yourself. And if you understand yourself, then you can actually clearly communicate to your partner what it is that you want. And we couldn't do this for a long time. And so I would get frustrated, Danielle would get frustrated. We wouldn't be able to communicate with each other right now. You can hear kind of the banter. We go back and forth, agree on like a lot of like we actually passionately disagree on 80% of life. But outside of that 20, that 20%.

No, I don't think.

I think we disagree on age.

I'm like, no, I think we.

You think it's 42%?

No, I actually.

73.6%.

I know. I actually think we actually like our.

I think we've started to become more on the same page over 15 years.

I think that our. Where we're at in life, we have a lot of respect for how hard we've worked to get here. And even though we might not think the same, I think we have the same intentions and goals.

I think we have the same energy of drive behind ethos. I agree with that. But we definitely don't agree on everything. And that's okay, though. I used to think we had to agree on everything. Why do we not have to agree on everything? Why are you okay with not agreeing on everything? Cause we seem to have, like. That was the problem, is that we would, like, get dug in.

I don't know. I think people spend so much time trying to get somebody to agree with them, only to realize, like, it's fine. I'm never gonna get you to see the world the way I see it, and I need to just accept that and not let it build up. You know what I mean?

I do. Okay. So knowing yourself, this is principle number one. The better you know yourself, the better you can communicate with your spouse. If you don't study yourself, then you can't communicate to your spouse what it is that you need, you want, or you desire now. So let's move to our final thing. We got, like, eight minutes of living. It's gonna be happening.

I really want you to read more about the astrology stuff, because I do.

I read about it at the end.

I think you'll understand that I'm not like you always are. Like, you're an anomaly. You're crazy. And I'm like.

You say I'm crazy? You told me I should get medicated.

I haven't said that in the last year.

You haven't said that in the last. Yeah, probably last year, actually. You haven't? Yeah. Well done, babe. You told me I need to go to a doctor to get medicated for the last, like, two years.

I was like, panicking mode.

I think we just got to a place where you've just. Okay. I've accepted that, too, about you. Yeah. I've never once said you needed to be medicated.

I also read that if we can learn to accept. Because I was, like, reading about us together as a couple, and it was like, okay, you guys are not the most compatible, but you're not the least compatible either.

Yes, we're right in the middle. We're right in the middle of the teeter tot.

And it was like, you guys, you're a lot different, but if you can learn to understand one another's personality, you'll be like any other relationship. And I was like, that's kind of how I feel. Like, we are like, yeah. Now that we've kind of, like, come to respect and understand one another, even though we're a lot different and we're. Yeah. We're still gonna get in arguments and. And disagree on things. I think we are at this. That replace that place of respect and then we can kind of just like come together and use, like, his strengths help me and my strengths help him in. In different areas. And I think honestly, that's where even with both of our businesses have gotten to the level we have because of us being together. And we kind of play off each other's strengths and weaknesses, I guess you could say.

I think the thing that's been interesting, I think respect has kind of been my word. And when you communicate, it's interesting because when you have no respect, you don't tend to communicate, like, the stuff. The collision. It wasn't even collision. Like the way I spun things during our conversation yesterday, normally that would have ended in like a week long, like, deal. Like in the first, like 10, 12 years we were married. Like, it would turn into this week long battle. Then I'd feel sorry for myself, and then I would like do this pouty sex thing. And then I would ignore my wife. And then, like, even if she want to have sex, I would still, like, hide and pout. And then I would have even more energy and ammunition to be angry at her because we weren't having sex. And it all started from this inability to course correct when collision, when we were so different. And part of being able to course correct comes down to respect. Right. It's the ability to not have to agree on everything. But the respect is what takes you through. I don't even think it's the love that takes you through. Like, I think people love each other. Couples love each other, but they have no respect for each other, so they just fuck each other up.

Right?

All right. And I think respect is what changed us. It's like peanut butter. It's like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. We'd never had peanut butter. We just had bread and jelly.

Who the hell wants peanut butter?

Yeah, nobody wants a jelly.

Yeah, I'm never gonna see respect like peanut butter. But that's okay. I don't have to agree.

That's cause I'm a better, you know, str. Storyteller. I'm a Gemini.

Nice.

I like to use some analogy. Peanut butter. All right, so we have this communication. We got five minutes left. Okay, I'm gonna spin this another direction.

We have three minutes.

No, no, we have like four minutes now. Less than four minutes. Four minutes. All right, listen, whatever. Here's the last question I have for you to wrap up today's show. When you collide, it's inevitable. Okay, what are your suggestions from the female perspective when communication goes south, when it doesn't Work and you've collided and you've both dug in and you're trying to be right. You and I have, like, decade plus history.

I think it's hard because when you get in an argument, it's like, you don't want to just ignore it. Because for so many years with us, like, we'd argue and I'd just be like, I'm not going to argue with you. Like, I'm not going to argue with you. Like, you're just. Because you're very, like, high, low emotion, you get triggered easy. And so you would. You'd get to this place where I was like, I can't reason with you. I'm not gonna argue with you. Like, I don't care. But the problem is, is we wouldn't ever get past that. Do you mean. And I also felt like I couldn't share my. You wanted me to communicate, and I felt like I couldn't share my feelings with you without you being able. Without you being triggered. And so it was hard for me. I'm like, you're asking me to communicate, and then I do. And so I was like, well, how do I reframe this where he's not triggered? And so I had to figure out how to get my communication across without. Without being critical or negative or I had to frame it in a way where. And it was hard for me because I wanted to just be like, dickhead, why didn't you just do this? I literally wanted to say it. I'd be like, what the fuck's wrong with you?

Right?

But I was like, I really do. I really want to go down that path. Do I really want to start an argument? Or I'd be like, or sometimes, you know, as women, like, we want to. Tone is very important. And we'll say something like, kind of passive aggressive, but our tone's weird. We'll be like, well, no, I wasn't saying that at all. And then you backtrack and say, all I was asking is this. No, you fucking weren't. Your tone was awful, and you're trying to be passive aggressive. So if I were to give any women advice, go into it if you want. If you have some feelings that you're trying to express to your man, try to, like, clear. Clear Any issues of being like, don't. Don't go in wanting to antagonize or just frame it in a way that you're actually trying to actually get past what you're trying to communicate. I'm trying. I don't even know how to try to communicate. Does that make sense, what I'm saying? It's like, go into it in a way where you're not gonna be passive aggressive, but you're genuinely sharing your feelings from your heart and not trying to necessarily win an argument. There you go. That's a good one. Because sometimes, I mean, you guys can clearly see I like to win an argument. So does Garrett and, like, that our personalities, maybe that's like our egos, like, whatever, but you have to kind of go into it like, okay, if this is bothering me, I need to approach it in a way where I know that perhaps we can actually have a safe conversation and express one another's feelings without things going south. So frame it. So my advice, finally frame it in a way. Come from the heart, not the head, and frame in a way where you can actually get past your shit.

And for the guys, here's my suggestions. We wrap up this particular episode, and then we head back to my favorite episode. We can talk about sex again. Excited to see Danielle brought out to you the QQPS Quickie Quickie porn star. From the first episode on Sex, I brought out TTF Touch Me, Tell Me, Fuck Me from the second one and this third one. I don't know. I don't know what's going on.

I already have some.

You have some stuff?

Yeah.

All right. I'm very excited because I've been reading about it. Can you give them some hints, one little hint about the episode to come? Next episode of sex, episode number 10. You got a little hint.

I give them hints.

Like, a little hint that would get them excited. Like a little 50 shades of gray excitement.

Even in bed, people have different styles, and that's another form of communication. There you go.

You know where my mind went on that? Even in bed, you should get head. I don't know why.

That's because you're a Gemini. All right, so Taurus, slow and steady Gemini. Like it really kinky.

All right, listen, final thoughts for the guys.

That was a bad visual.

That was. Yeah, we got a lot that went downhill real quickly. That's exactly what happens during the sex episode. So just get ready for next week. It's gonna go downhill quickly. We're gonna make sure it's gonna be an hour long. So this show, the final thought for my guys, though, is simply take a look at this. The better you know yourself, the better you can communicate what you want and what you don't want to your wife. With Danielle and I's little collision here yesterday, we ended up coming Back, we communicated. I backtracked a little bit on what I had said, but I also was able to come back and clearly tell her, listen, I always experience things is critical when you don't make deposits of gratitude and appreciation to me. When you don't tell me I'm doing a good job and the only thing I ever hear is the shit I need to improve, then I constantly go to this place in my mind of saying, well, this fucking crazy woman only tells me when I'm doing shit that I'm fucking up. I never get told that I'm doing a good job. I never get appraised for what I'm doing and creating. I don't get told I'm doing good work. So I didn't realize that inside myself for years and years. And it wasn't until I started studying myself that I could actually get clear. So being able to communicate that hurt changed our conversation yesterday.

Question really quick.

Yes.

Do you. Because you like validation and praise.

I like touch, too.

Do you give it to people all the time? Do you give it to me?

I give it to you. And then you don't even emoji my text messages. So, yeah, every day I fucking give them to you. And you say, oh, no, thank you.

Do you say it or do you just text it?

I tell you, you do. I tell you you're beautiful. I tell you you're amazing. I say, go hug your mother. I say, give your mom a hug. Yeah, you're gonna lose.

I'm. Pay attention to it.

You're gonna literally lose on this.

I'm not trying to argue again. I was just wondering.

I was like, yeah, you should pay attention to it. Because if you paid attention to it, you'd realize it's raining from the heavens, like man.

And that's it for our show today.

All right, we're wrapping up. This is episode number nine. We're coming to a conclusion here. We're going to be in episode number 10, coming at you here next week on the topic of sex. Again, if you have not checked out the video version, the show notes, the tips, the tricks, the action guides here, with this particular show, you can always head to dateyourwifenow.com if you are a man who is looking for a deeper understanding of the science behind the warrior's way to having it all. Ultimately, the guide map I use as a man to be able to stay in a marital relationship and be a better husband and a better father. Check out Warrior book found@warriorbook.com and across the board, we have a series of other podcasts you may really enjoy. We have a podcast called Big Money stylish, Found one number one in hair and fashion and style. We also have a podcast called warrior wealth, number 17 in business, and another podcast I do every single day called Warrior on Fire. Maybe check those out, see if there's something that might be able to give you some little fire in the belly. As for this show, though, here on date your wife, we're going to bring this episode number nine to a close because we've got to go pick our children up and have a great rest of our Saturday guys later. And until next week, remember, date your wife. And your topic this week during your date is, well, talking about what you actually want. Bye. Bye.