Dancing Through Life's Ups and Downs

When I walk in the house and tell me, thank you for fighting for our family. Just. I'm not cutting you off.

Don't cut me off. I hate when you fucking do that. Do not cut me off. Do not shush me and do not cut me off.

Triggers you big time.

It does. I think it's so rude.

You always talk over your triggers with ani. It's nothing to do with me.

No, it is not. You've done this all the time.

I've always done this.

You got last talk over me all the time. It drives me fucking bonkers.

Okay, so.

So I'll put my hands on your face when you stop cutting me off.

For me throughout every podcast we've ever run. Really? If you want to go back and listen to it, I will immediately start talking. Then you get an idea, and you immediately cross step over top of me.

I don't shush you or tell you to stop talking.

You don't shush me because you just talk whenever you want. Well, welcome to this week's date your wife podcast. We just had arguably the probably the worst dance session in the history of our dance lessons.

Well, we've been taking salsa for how many classes have we taken?

Like, I think it's number seven.

But last week was really good. And so I feel like that's how life works sometimes. Some. When you're on fire, you're on fire. When you're not, you're like, what? How did I digress so much in one week?

It's wild. It's like. It's like I lost every single bounce.

But let me. Here's. Here's what I notice in you is, like, when you have a really long week, you're tired before the long week even starts. Like, you're like, okay, babe, going into the battlefield. And I'm like, you already look like you're. You came out of the battlefield. How does that. Do you get more energized, like, when you're actually. Or is it almost like you're tired before the week starts, but once you're in it, it's not too bad?

Or it's kind of both. I think I've been like an entire decade. I mean, I'm just like. Feel like there's just a lot of that I've been doing that's like incredibly heavy. And I'm in an incredibly heavy last three months. And it's like. But if I look back, I always.

Say that, but that's what they're going to say is I feel like you're Always at war.

Yeah.

Like, you're. That's like your personality. Like, even when you're talking to our therapist, you're what. What is your eight.

Eight Enneagram.

Enneagram. Yeah. And he's like, yeah, because you're an eight. So you're always at war. And I'm always like, why does there always need to be a war? Like, even when things are, like, stressful for us, I think I. I'm almost the opposite. I'm kind of like, there's no reason to stress myself out even more. Do you know what I mean?

Right. I. I mean, listen, I have.

But, like, are you always at war? Like, why do you always feel like you.

Because we just got rid of, like, an 8enneagram.

No, but I think that you have to change that story about yourself because.

It'S like, you're a five. That's what, Five?

No, no. What I was thinking is I was like. I was like, every. Literally, I've shared this on so many of our podcasts, but I always am like, how do I get the end result that I want? Like, literally, like, is. Is having this conversation right now gonna give me what I want is like. So that's like, something that's kind of always helped me is like, asking, how do I get the result that I want? And sometimes it's not always with a war.

I agree. I mean, I hear you. Here's the thing that's interesting is like, it. The challenge is. Is like, the way that you have operated got us here, and the way I've operated got us here. And so there's like this flip and the switch that's trying to occur inside of relationship. It's actually accessing two sides. For example, for me to act that way is as awkward as you using words of affirmation and physical touch on a daily basis to me. So for me to. It's just. It doesn't. It's not that it's bad, and it's not that I can't do it. It's just not there. Like, your normal game is not to praise me. Words of affirmation, of, you can do it. Right. That's not your normal ML. Correct. Like, you're not going to wake up and say, wow, I'm going to speak words of power over my husband today when he goes to the battlefield. Instead, I'm going to critique him on how he operates and tells him he should do something different, which is typically what happens.

I feel like it's. That's not really true to Be honest.

Well, it's what's happening right now. And I'm saying like it's, it's a, it's as natural for you to look and see the error in things as it is for me to be at war. So if I were, that would be me asking you not to notice the flaw in things.

It's hard for you to not to be in war all the time.

Just as much it's hard for you not to point out the one flaw and ignore nine out of the 10 great things that are working. You'll point out the one thing that's not working.

But I'm just saying. But when you're like super stressed out and tired, well how do you like. But that's why I was asking like when you're getting ready to go into this like work week, is it get lighter once you get there?

Yeah, I mean it gets, it's, it's not just like I'm like, I'm like in a work 11 days. So I got 11 straight days of work coming up. 11 state straight days of training. 11 state days of straight days of creativity. Managing people's energy etc. This is not managing any or you're.

Working straight through the week.

I have, I worked today. We have Memorial Day yesterday. I have today calls, all day events, all day trains, all day clear and tell meeting with manager with Thomas tonight. That'll end at like 8 o'. Clock. Then I have calls to start again tomorrow morning 7 o'. Clock. I'll go 7 o' clock to 9 o', clock, then have an on site with a client from 9 until 6:30. Then I walk straight into a four day event at our offices, hundreds of virtual students. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

So your next day I will start off a week from Saturday will be.

A week from a week from yesterday, a week from this past Sunday. Two weeks from this past Sunday.

You work Saturday. This Sunday, Saturday and next Saturday and Sunday.

No, I work the next Saturday. So like I have Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. That's 12 days of work.

That's. I said your next day off is.

Saturday, a week from this Saturday. Yeah.

You didn't even get a Sunday off. No, that's, that's aggressive.

So that's what I'm saying. So like my brain goes into conference or conservation mode which is like a place of like okay, I can produce and show up no problem. But it's not just about producing today. It's about having the endurance to still hit at that same level. Like, on Friday and then be able to hit the same level on Sunday and the same level plus come home.

Does it help? Does it help when, like, yesterday when you were like, I want go into business mode, does it help when I'm like, no, like, because I know. I feel like we fight more when you're getting ready to, like, go into business mode and because we work together on things, I'm like, I don't. I'm. I'm. When. When you have these long stretches where I know it's stressful on you, I try to show up as the fun wife and not, like, almost like, I don't want to talk about work stuff I don't want. Like, especially, like, yesterday, I was like, hey, can you. Like, I'm. That's why I booked the zoo. Because I was like, if I don't do that, he'll go. He'll get sucked into his office because he knows he has a million things to. And I. I was. And then even, like, when we got back from the zoo, I'm like, come swim. You got 20 minutes. And you. I was, like, proud of you because you kind of, like, you're like, it's a trade off. Like. But I'm saying, is that good? Because I. Like, yesterday, when you kept wanting. You kept wanting to, like, talk, I was like, I kept. I was like, I'm not talking about this today. Like, there's no reason. So, like, when you're stressed, you come at me and you want to fight, and I'm like, I could fight back or I could be like, hey, like, I'm asking, like, how should I show up? Like, yesterday, how I showed up? Like, try to be fun and is that helpful for you or not really. And. And I was like, hey, I'll take the kids. Like, I put Charlie to bed. And I was like, hey, I'll take Ayla. And Because I could feel like there was, like, another fight coming on, I was like, I'm just gonna take Isla and, like, I'll go watch a movie with her and you can talk to bae. So I. I don't know how to show up. What I'm saying is, like, I don't know how you would like me to show up, because you'll say one thing, but then you keep triggering fights. I'm like, I can't tell you the man and whisper sweet nothings when you're trying to engage because you're stressed out in a fight with me, and I'm trying to diffuse.

Do you know.

Does that make sense?

Well, if you look at the conversations we were having, though, they weren't about Bailey and they weren't about our kids. They were business.

I know, and that's why I kind of shut it down.

And that's what I'm saying, so that you say, like, so the interesting dynamic that we have is the fact that we're married, plus we run companies together. So it's like the ability for me, the stress is coming from business, but you're my wife. And so we don't tend to have a lot of time to talk about business. But if we do talk about business while I'm in the stress pocket, it gets intense, it gets fierce, and there'll be collisions. And yet, as a wife and a husband, we don't want to have those conversations. And if you were a non producing wife in the sense of business production, and you were just with the kids, we would never have that conversation because you wouldn't even relate to what I was talking about.

I'm asking, how can I help you out on these? Because you said made a comment, you go, please help me to not get like, disconnected during this, like, long work stretch. And I was like, I'm always here for you. I can't choose if you want to disconnect yourself. And so that's why yesterday I fought for time knowing, like, hey, like, I know you got a shit ton to do, but, like, you're gonna need this time of us hanging out as a family. Do you know what I mean? So I'm asking, as a wife who also is a producer, how not business. Danielle, as wife. Danielle, how can I support you?

How can you support me?

And then I asked you if how I showed up yesterday because I felt like you still kept wanting to, like, somehow argue a little bit. And I was like, I don't want to argue.

I mean, well, here's the thing is, like, so, like, I get in a dilemma because it's like there's constant trade off, right? So there's a trade off in business, there's a trade off in marriage, there's a trade off of kids. It's like, I only have so much time and there's only so much time to create. So there was a ton of stuff I was supposed to get done for this week that did not get done because I was with the kids, I was with you, I was golfing with you, we were hanging out, and I was spending time with family. So in my mind, there's constantly a trade off. It's like, okay, if I go get this Prepared in business so that I feel comfortable and calm that I'm going to be ready.

It's never a trade off. It's always a balance.

But. But there is a trade off. It's a constantly trying. No such thing as balance. There's just a trade off. You have to decide in every moment what's worth more. Is it the investment in the kids? Is it the investment in your spouse? Or is it investment in the business?

For me, I look at that as, like, balance. How to balance the chaos.

You can go, a balance is not balance. All the balance would mean equal. 50% with your husband, 50% with the business. That didn't happen. So there's times where you're 100% and there's times where I'm 100%.

I don't think of balance is equal. I think of balance is like, almost like a juggling act where you figure out where to put your time.

It could be just balance, harmony, like.

Whatever you want to call it.

Yeah, well, figuring out the harmony is the. Is the challenge. I knew the figuring out what's going.

To get you what you want.

Well, we had just spent the whole day at the zoo, and I knew if I went and swam last night, I was saying no to being prepared for a pitch today. That's what I knew I was saying. How much was that going to cost me? I don't know, probably $50,000. So I'm like, okay, I'm making a decision right now. I can go to the office and I can get prepared for this pitch I have tomorrow. I've already been at the zoo all day long. I'm stressed about being ready for the pitch. I'm not prepared and ready for the pitch. And my wife's looking hot and amazing and my kids are wanting me to come swim. Now, as an entrepreneur, left a decision, choose and go to my office and be prepared for the pitch or choose and go be with my family. And this is the dilemma guys face all the time.

So then let me ask you this. Because you chose your family, are you, like, then resentful towards me later? I don't think you're ever resentful towards your kids. But then are you almost like, I just, I put in my time with you, like, and then it, like, triggers another fight, and I'm like, whoa.

I don't think it's so much triggers a fight. It's just, this is the trifecta of insanity we've been talking about at Warrior for Life, like, for the last 10 years, which is like, the dilemma. And I don't know how it is for a woman, but I know what it is for a guy, which the guy is constantly pulled between these worlds. How do I take care of the business? For example, you. You continually want me to make more, you want me to produce more, you want me to create more. You want to maintain our life and expand our life, while at the same time be home on time, while at the same time be poured into the kids and the family, while at the same time have time for us not be disconnected, not drag business into it. And so there's this. This challenge emotion. It's why most guys go to sedation, to try to cope with it, because they don't know how to, because it's very difficult. Or they just end up in disconnected relationships and say, ah, fuck it, I'm just going to work on a business.

So how do you crack the code? You just have some good salsa times and some bad salsa times.

Well, this.

This.

There are seasons. That's the only way I can look at it is there's just seasons. There's seasons where things are gonna be completely fucking aligned and then there's gonna be seasons where a gear's off and you've gotta, like. And it's a juggling act between, like. Like there. You can't go too far off the reservation with your kids. You can't spend too much time away from your spouse and too much time in a business, vice versa. You can't spend incredible amounts of time with your family and kids and just pretend like your business is gonna fucking take care of itself.

I think that I don't necessarily, like, I know you're not ever going to be like, a home at five every night kind of guy, but for me, it got to this place where, like, you. It was like rolling into like 7 and 8pm like, every night. And then the only times we would hang out was, like, date night.

That was bad.

And I was like, okay, well, I'm okay if it. Like, honestly, like, I don't care if you're never done at five. I don't care. But I. It was kind of like, I was like the one date night a week for me is not enough. Do you know what I mean? Like, I needed, like, even if it's like a Monday and even like two extra days and you were just done at six and had dinner with me at the house where it wasn't a date night, that's a. That's like, enough for me. You know what I mean? So I think that Men probably put a lot of pressure, self induced pressure. Especially successful men. You can say that your wife pushes you to want more, which is not a bad thing. Every successful guy I know, I feel like, has like a very powerful person supporting him or behind him. Right. So I'm just saying, like, I, I just think like, and I know you can call it balance or whatever you want, but you're kind of like very all or nothing.

Yeah.

So it's like he'll be like, that's it. I'm going to be home at 5 every day. I'm gonna bring you flowers every day. And I know that's not maintainable or sustainable. Like, I'm like, I love this. I love that he's getting dressed cute and he said he was gonna be home at five and he's home at five o' clock and he's bringing me. But I'm like, I wonder when this will fizzle out. Instead of just being like, hey, maybe I'm gonna set goals and realistic expectations on myself as like, hey babe, I'm gonna be home at six two nights out of the week and I'm gonna have family dinner. Then I'm like, cool, I'm gonna make dinner on whatever nights those are so we can sit down together. And then it's like, hey, just like once a month when you have time and the thought pops up, then it's like, maybe you grab some flowers, right? So set realistic goals for yourself. And it's like, I wanna buy my wife flowers once a month. I know this sounds so stupid, but like, you are very like all or nothing. And so I find that I lose trust in your word because you go all in and then it just dries up. And so I'm like, okay, I get.

Dried up this time.

It just slow, it just like you like went hard and heavy. Like I said, like you, it was like flowers every day, dressing up every day. Like that's when you started salsa dancing. Then you were like, therapist every week. And I was like, that's a lot like, even for me. Like, I have way more free time than you and I don't know if I could commit to all those things plus run a business, plus be a mom. Do you know what I mean? So I'm just saying, like, and for me, I asked, what could, what could I do to help you during these stressful times? And I think it would be. What? I'm just saying, I think if you set realistic, like, things like, hey, we're gonna take a trip every quarter, I'm Gonna have one date night a week. I'm gonna be two family dinners on the weeks that you're not, like, crazy, right?

I'll tell you what we can do, okay? You can in your feminine, put your hands on my face, seriously, when I walk in the house and tell me, thank you for fighting for our family. Just. I'm not cutting you off.

Don't cut me off. I hate when you fucking do that. Do not cut me off. Do not shush me and do not cut me off.

It triggers you big time.

It does. I think it's so rude.

You always talk over your triggers with Ani. It has nothing to do with me.

No, it is not. You've done this all the time, and.

Now you're like, I've always done this. Hey, you got laughs.

You talk over me all the time. It drives me fucking bonkers, okay? So I'll put my hands on your face when you stop cutting off me.

Throughout every podcast we've ever run. If you want to go back and listen to it, I will immediately start talking. Then you get an idea, and you immediately cross step over top of me.

I don't shush you or tell you to stop.

You don't shush me because you just talk whenever you want, which means you don't let me finish a thought. You just want to start talking while I'm talking. So if you want me to finish a thought and actually listen to me, the problem is, for me, as your husband, I don't think you're listening because I'm saying something and you're immediately firing back with another comment that's right in a line or totally different than what I'm saying. So as a husband, I don't feel heard by you because I'm saying something and you're listening to fire back and say something else. You're not listening to hear me. You're listening to say something, which is totally different. I'm asking you to hear me. See how you're sitting and listening and hearing? That's a different energy than what you're normally in, which is you get an idea and then your ADD kicks in, and then you want to fire across the bow. I mean, so I don't feel heard. So when I shush you and I'm trying to say something, I'm trying to complete my idea so that you can hear everything I'm saying and not try to give me a solution or critique or some kind of feedback on what I'm doing without even listening to the full statement. So what are you hearing now?

I feel like you do the exact same thing. So I feel like you. Instead of listening or sometimes like it's a. Like a response.

Good. So how do we fix that? Because we're both each other over it, and you get triggered because you got shushed in your own business, not from me. I never shushed.

No, that wasn't. Why him?

Okay, why does it. Why does it trigger you so much? Because you haven't made. I have never shushed you until last week in a podcast. And now you act like I've been shushing you your whole fucking life.

It's like, it was a little bit.

Disrespectful because I was giving a direct conversation to the camera, and you decided to throw your snowball of ideas into the middle of my flow. Probably was. So then in that situation, help me understand, why are you not having to be accountable for firing ideas into my flow of thought as I'm talking? But I have to be accountable for the fact that I shushed you. But you don't have to be accountable for the fact that you didn't listen and tried to interrupt my thoughts because.

You interrupt me back.

But I wasn't interrupting you right then. I was talking, sharing an idea deep in flow. And then you tried to hijack the conversation and take it somewhere else with your thought. Why am I responsible to be accountable for not shushing you? But you're not responsible to be accountable for interrupting my flow.

You interrupt me all the time.

But again, you're not answering the question. You're now making it about me. I'm talking.

Sometimes I kind of. I feel like. I feel like I start to just, like, shut down when you're not hearing me, and you just want to be right. So I just, like, stop listening because I feel like. I feel like I'm like. And I think this is common for men and women where it's like, the somebody, like, is, like, so overwhelming that the other person, it literally just, like, shuts off. And I've. I noticed that when we were doing our council, I'm like, oh, so you have the aggressor, the person that's, like, trying to get something through to the other person. They don't feel heard because they're. How they're presenting it. The other person can't receive it. And then they literally. It's a defense mechanism. It's like, I literally just, like, shut it down. I wall up. I'm like, nope, I. I can't hear you because of how you're coming across Is. Is super attacking. Like, it's like. It's like I. Like a tsunami. Like, I can't even. That's the only way I can describe it. So it's like a defense mechanism for me to just not hear what you're saying because of the. I don't know if it's the tone or the way you come across or whatever it is, but my. I don't want to really take this podcast and go that direction right now. I was simply just trying to say, like, during these crazy weeks, what could I do? I feel like even like last night, I text you, I was like. And every text you've been sending me lately, I'm like, I'm here for you. I love you. And then you always say on the podcast, like, maybe you should give me more words of affirmation. I'm like, I feel like I actually am. So maybe you're not seeing or hearing those words of affirmation that I'm telling you or texting you. So you're telling me the text that I've sent you. You don't care about me saying, I'm here for. You don't care about, but you just want me to put your hands on your face. That's. That's what you want?

Well, let's look at it.

I text you in last night.

You did. Thank you. And you put your hands on my face last night. Let's go back.

And I did. I put my hands on your face and kissed you.

You did great. And let's go back and see when you did it.

Before that, it was like, when you're like, hey, please don't help me become disconnected. And I was like, you can only do that. Like, I'm here for you.

I'm scrolling back to see when was the last time you texted me. Texted me something.

It was last night.

I know that. And now I'm scrolling back before that.

Well, we text a lot, Hunt, so.

I know I'm scrolling back right now.

But why do you do this right now? Like, why do you do this?

Because you just asked me, and there's two statements you use constantly with me, which is always and never. You blanket statement.

You do the same thing. Everybody does that.

Not everybody.

Always.

Not everybody does.

Everybody's like, you always do that. You don't think that. Couples don't say. You always say that.

Okay, well, we're talking right now. You use the word always and never, which are exclusive blanket statements to you, always. Which now immediately says that at no time have I not so If I look at you and I say, you never send me, then your mind immediately tries to find data to prove you said never. I didn't. I just am using this example. I didn't say you never. I have not said you never. And I've never said, like. I don't say those things. You use those words constantly with me. So we're in. We're in dialogue right now in a way that everyone's in dialogue. People get into this kind of dialogue, and nobody has any solutions. This is why people get angry. It's why people shut down. It's why they drink. It's why they disconnect. They sedate from each other. They say fuck you, and they stop talking because it's not safe. So you and I are in this place trying to have safe conversation. I'm looking from my place, like, just in this perfect example. All I'm saying is there's two sides. There's always two sides. There's your side and there's my side. I feel like even in this situation right now, there's a constant game of, how does Garrett need to change? And then anytime I ask you about how you need to change, you want to make it about me changing again. I'm asking you to be accountable on your side of the equation. For example, with what happened last week on the podcast, it triggered you. I was in flow of comment. You saw me looking right at the camera, and I was in flow. I was sharing an idea. I was closing out a statement. I was speaking directly to the camera, and you fired in your thoughts from the side. I stopped you. I paused, and you immediately looked at the space not being plugged into the energy and threw your comment in.

I didn't know. I didn't know. You paused, and then you said, shush. Okay, you can't say I wasn't plugged into the energy. I literally thought you were done. And so then I got shushed. I'm like, really?

Okay, so is the shush the problem or the interpretation of the shush?

No, just that you were blatantly rude to me.

I was not blatantly rude.

You were.

That was your interpretation that I was blatantly rude, that I was trying to be rude to you.

I shushed you. You would be irate.

I would not. Okay, when is the last time you shushed me?

I think that's super rude and disrespectful.

Okay, what would I. What could I have said differently?

You could have just said, hold on, babe, I'm not done. I told You. I'd do that after the podcast. I'm like, why did you have to go about it? So rude. Why don't you just say, hold on, babe, I'm almost done.

Okay.

Like, I told you that.

So hold on, babe, I'm almost done would have been appropriate. I can do that.

Yeah, that would be a lot sweeter.

So when you're.

How does. So how does it work? Like, because when you're in business mode, like, sometimes I'm like, I. Like, as much as I want to be there and support you and grab your face and kiss you, I'm like, I need you. Don't. Can you not be an. It's really hard for me to, like, want to be in my feminine when I feel like I've always got my guard up because you're always ready to go to war. And I'm, like, trying to be here and support you. But then, like, it's like, I'm not. Like, I don't know. Do you want me to just shut off completely, not have any serious conversations? Because I've tried that too. I'm like, I'm just gonna be light and flirty and fun and, like, let's not talk about the business or anything that might trigger him in this window, because then that's not going to help the stress of this window. So why don't I just play flirty and light? But then you. Because you're stressed. You project you being stressed and on me. Like, even yesterday in the car when you were like, well, you need to be in your workplace for an hour every day. And then I was like, no, I'm not going to do that. And you're like, why can't you help? And I'm like, you need to not be triggered that I don't like your idea of me being in workplace. And for an hour, I don't think that that's an effective use of my time. So I felt like I, I. You kept wanting to come and, like, jab and start a fight. And I finally was like, I don't want to fight. We're going to the zoo. I understand that you're in war mode, but I would ask for you during this time to shut off war. Garrett with his wife during this time, because it doesn't help. And it's hard for me to come in my feminine when I feel like I'm. I'm one of the dudes on the battlefield with my husband.

So how do I navigate the conversation of business when I'm. And you're involved in the business, don't.

Talk about it during a window where you're already stressed out.

Okay, so when should I talk about it?

When we schedule a meeting and talk about it like we do with Jeff on Tuesdays.

Okay.

But no firing off at like random times when you're stressed out. Do not project your stress on me. It doesn't help our relationship. And even though we work together, then let's treat it like we are really working together and schedule times just like we do on Tuesdays where we can have a proper work conversation and both of our minds are in work mode and we're not having conversations late at night while juggling the kids or driving to the zoo or late at night pillow talk. That's when work conversations should not happen. I would never call Katie at 9pm and be like, Hey, I know it's 9pm and I know you're probably sitting there watching Netflix, but we got to talk about this right now. You ready?

You were if you were. Maybe you might if you were fucking Katie.

No, I. That's. I'm. I'm. I'm you. That's not going to help our situation of sex at night. So I'm just saying there's certain if. If we are. Continue to work together, which we do. I know you're like, there's never time. I'm like, you schedule time just like you do with Jeff. You schedule time just like you do with Runar. You schedule time like that's the only way really, that it's, it's going to be effective. Like, truthfully. And I tried to even set up a work meeting. Well, I meet with my teams two times a week. And I was like, I'd really love Garrett for. To be a part of at least like 30 minutes of the team meeting so we can just debrief you and give you an overview so that we don't have these fucking side door conversations on the way to the zoo. And I'm getting yelled at. I'm like, I'm not prepared for this. I was in mom brain and now I got to go to war right now and I got kids in the background. So I. What I'm telling you is like, I want to be here for you. I want to be feminine and sexy for you, but you have to help me be that for you. You can't. You can't have these conversations about work. You can't come at me hot and heavy and be like, we need to talk about Bailey right now. And I'm like, I'm just Coming in to kiss your face. That's why even last night when I felt like you came and sat down with me, I was like, oh, cool. Like I was snuggling Isla, watching a movie, and all of a sudden a fight triggered again. I was like, I'm not going to have a fucking fight right now. So what I do, I stood up, I grabbed your face, I kissed you, and I said, putting the baby to bed. So I'm saying I felt like I. Like, I'm like, I understand. Trust me, as a woman and an entrepreneur. Like, I get the stress of being a guy. Well, at some level I do.

At some level, about as much as I understand being a mom.

No, about a level. You being pregnant like that, that's.

I mean, what I'm saying is like, there's a level that you can understand, and there's a level you cannot understand.

Sure. But I'm saying I can wait. But I'm saying, but I can. I'm not like, I'm not a stay at home wife that's not. That doesn't have the stress of building a business and raising kids. And I'm. I'm not employed for somebody else. It is my business, it is our business, it is my team. So I at some level feel like I can relate pretty heavily, more so than. Than other women.

Agreed.

So I'm just saying I would love to be here for you. And I'm just saying if you want that from me, then just be aware of when we're having specific conversations or even if it's like you're stressed at work. Like, even if there's a way for you to shut it off and just come and be like, hey, baby, let's. Like, we don't have to talk. Like, we can literally watch a show. You can have your laptop. We can just be by each other. Like, we can just like hang out then, like, maybe there's some times where I'm like, his energy is so intense right now. I avoid you. Not because you're. I feel like you're mad at me, but I know you're going into battle. And I'm like, whoa, his energy is so intense. I don't. There's no reason to trigger a conversation or a fight. So I'm just gonna kind of like give him a space. So I don't know if that's what you want either. But like on. I can't remember what day it was Sunday this week, I literally was like, you. I mean, you took the kids in the morning and you're like, I need time for me, I'm like, go for it. And I took the kids in the afternoon. But I was like, he needs space right now, I can tell. And that's fine. And he got up with the babies in the morning and that's fine. So I think there's gonna have to be a balance where it's like, you need space and that's fine. But let's not have these tough conversation at times that we're not set up to win.

Agreed. Okay. All right.

Well, thanks for listening.

We're out of time for the rest of this podcast. Our team's gotta roll. We'll wrap up this side.

I think it was a good perspective on probably what, how men and women feel. So even though it got a little heated and we were kind of fighting, I'm like, I think in the past I would have not let that roll on a podcast, but I feel like it's probably very relatable.

Well, I'll tell you, from a guy's perspective, being a guy, the hard part is there is the issue we're battling up against is the exact reason why men shut down and women. I understand that, but I'm saying it's the exact reason as a producer that a man will shut down and he will just hide everything from you and just continue to operate and go do what a guy has to do. Like, that's it when it comes to solvent. But I want you to know what you're doing right there. I'm trying to talk right now.

I didn't say anything.

But your mouth is opening up trying to say something.

I didn't say anything though.

But you wanted to right there.

I did. And I held. I didn't say anything.

You held. Because I held my hand up and looked right at you. But I want you to look at the tendency you have to interrupt me when I'm talking, when I'm trying to share my ideas, my feelings, or where I'm at. And all I'm asking is that as we keep progressing through this, you listen more when I'm talking. Otherwise for me as a man, I have less desire to share with you what I'm thinking. If all I'm getting back is criticism or critique and, or just being cross stepped and never getting to finish shots. All that happens is like, I'm in war mode. I don't need to stress about one more thing right now. I don't need one more thing to fight. I don't need to fight with you or anybody else. I got enough fucking Fights in my hand. I'll just shut down. So I would drink at night because it would just neutralize everything. I didn't give a fuck. I would just be drunk, sitting there, three beers down, didn't care. You could say anything. Didn't matter to me. I was totally disconnected from you, but I didn't matter. And this is why guys do it. Because guys don't know how to manage and we're constantly even. Right now I'm demonstrating at the highest level, how do you navigate kids and a wife and a business without destroying any of them at the same time? And particularly how do you do it during seasons of war in business which demand an aggressive attitude? There's no fixing these problems. There's no building out with happy clappy times. Go behind the scenes of this. It is dark, it is heavy, and it is shit you don't want to deal with. That's why I'm the fucking cleaner that has to clean shit up. And you're the one that gets to operate in the place you're in. I'm not devaluing from what you operate in. You take on different pressure, you take on different stress. Stress would probably crush me, but I take on stress in the business world that you will never comprehend, ever comprehend. That I take on for our family, for our businesses, for what you and I do. Wars that you are clueless or even happening happening. People try to attack us and take from us and steal from us, that you're ignorant to that. I take those out before they ever show up to the front door. Why deal with that miles away from our home. So now I'm in a place saying, okay, cool, here we are. I got two weeks of work. The time we're recording this podcast. I don't want to disconnect from you. I'm not at this point in the game, like when I'm in this mode, guys don't want to fucking. There's no energy to fuck. It doesn't matter anymore because all this is life or death. It's like when I get into a 12 to 14 day work window, the desire to fuck goes out the window because there's not enough energy for it. That creative sexual energy has to be poured into building. So then you add kids to the mix and trying to make sure your kids feel heard, make sure your wife feels heard, make sure you have space. You don't blow the fuck up while getting to deal with a thousand other people needing shit from you all day long. Getting blown up via text while trying to unplug and be present with your 4 year old while she's doing Legos, and then sitting and having a conversation with your wife and then managing your teenage daughter's fucking music career and then watching your son, like, do what he's doing in business and then watch all of it happening at the same time. So it's real. And we're gonna keep you posted.

It's also hard for the women too. So I get what you're saying. The stress goes both ways. That's why I'm like, hey, what can I do to support you in this window?

I think we just endure this window.

Okay?

I think we just endure. And our goal, our game here is no fights with each other.

Well, that's what I'm saying. I would just suggest, like, that just.

Means I'm gonna be quiet.

That's fine. I. I try to give you space. Like, literally, did you not notice? I was like, yeah. Like. And even when I showed up, I was like, I almost like, didn't want to have any, like, deep conversations. I was just like, yeah, you know, just went. Did a reel and put some outfits on. It was so fun because I was like, anything. You're, I can tell when you're on edge and your energy, super intense. And I, I understand why it is. It's not directed towards me. I know it's because you're getting ready to go into business mode so I can give you your space. And I don't even think of it as, like, disconnected because you're like, don't let me disconnect. I'm like, I'm like, just. If you don't think it was disconnect. If you need to, if you need to distance yourself for two, for 10 days, two weeks, whatever it is, like, I'm good. I'm a very independent woman. I just need to know what you expect out of me. Do you want to be fucked every night? Do you want, like, what do you want? I don't even. I'm not even like a huge person on conversation. You know me, I'm actually kind of like, cool. I could talk or I cannot talk. So I'm just saying, like, I'm, I'm here, I'm hearing what you're saying. And I feel like I am fortunate in the sense that I, I. Because I want to be with my kids and I love my kids. I know that both of us cannot live in that stress level that you're living in. So I'm able to, to, to let go in a lot of areas. You cannot But I've told you this time and time again, I'm like, like, we can't both be in the stress pockets here. You're in. Or this marriage and family would for sure.

Not for sure.

So I'm just saying as much as, like, I'm just saying, as a woman, I want to support you, but I also, like, I've been able to let go in. In certain areas in business because I'm like, no, I. I have to be here with the family, with the kids, things like that. That, like, I have to hold down the fort. So just know, like, it. I feel like we're coming to a conclusion. Like, I'll just leave you alone, and if you need me this week, I'm here.

Deal. We'll just keep them posted on how we're playing this game out. A lot of patterns changed recently, and a lot of stuff with workout routines and morning routines are. And they're going a different direction. It's just. It's a different. This is a transition season, and I feel it in to death and rebirth, and it fucking sucks because I don't like it. And it's the only path to being able to get the next level you want and you can't. That discomfort of going from the way you've done things to the new things is tough. Everything's lined up. Things are working great. It's just fucking heavy. So thank you. So if you wanted to send me a text every day not from ChatGPT.

That was more to be a joke.

I know it's funny. That is just saying thank you in some form. You could do that.

You notice the little ones I send you?

Yeah. Okay. I get them every, like, once a week or so that you send them. And I appreciate you not sending more than once a week. And I appreciate when you do, I notice them. These are things like, these are way I used to notice having sex.

I'm gonna go back and track on.

Go back and track. You'll see.

It's more than once.

You go back and see and we'll track it down.

I'm tracking.

I would love for you to prove me wrong. Okay. And do it every day at some point. Audio note. Tell me you love me. You care about me. Thank you for fighting for our family. Thank you for helping us build the life that we have.

Can I ask something from you?

Sure.

Don't start a fight.

Okay. Deal. I don't start fights and you send me love notes.

Sounds like a good solution. 2. Persevere.

Notice none of that is sex. Literally. I'm in such like, an interesting place. Like, business around give a shit. Like, last thing I'm worried about is trying to get late. Am I just in fucking win. That's it. Just fucking win. I guarantee you no Spartans thinking on the road out to the Hell's Gate to fight the Persian armies. Is thinking, man, I sure hope I've got a blowjob tonight. All he's thinking about is, let's fucking kill somebody and not die.

There you go.

So I'm in not kill somebody. I'm gonna kill somebody, not die mode. Not thinking about blowjobs. But after this entire war zone's over for two weeks, I like to fuck a lot.

That's why I have a birthday trip planned for us, Cabo, that you resisted. And I was like, oh, he's gonna need this.

Bring on that Cabo.

You're like, I don't want to spend money on Cabo. I was like, I booked Cabo.

All right, off to Cabo we go. Okay, well, that brings conclusion here. Here's the deal. As you can see, we're going to bring these shows to you. You're going to get the real from us constantly. Some days we're gonna be super pumped up on fire, tell you all the positive that's happening. And sometimes you're going to be right in the middle of us trying to. To figure out. But that's why you can trust what goes on here. And it's also why Warrior exists. Wake up, warrior. Wakeupwarrior.com this entire protocol was not built to help perfect men be more perfect. It's a place to help imperfect men progress and kill and build the game. My life works at a very high level. The woman I'm married to, very powerful woman. My children, all five of them, amazing. My family, my fitness, my life is on fire. And we're in a game right now of fighting for the next level. And it's intense and it's aggressive. And God told me at the beginning of this year, this year is going to be intense, going to be heavy, it's going to be rough and hold the line. Hold the line, motherfucker. Yeah. That's how God talks to me. Hold the line, motherfucker. And if you can win this game by holding the fucking line, 2024 is going to open up to be something beyond your wildest imaginations. And that's where the courage is, is. Is fighting in the trenches. And that's what we do at Wake Up, Warrior. We fight in the trenches every day with men facing real shit, real issues, real stress. So if this itself is a very interesting show for you and you find yourself challenged by it, check us out@wakeupwarrior.com get yourself into the game with Wake Up Warrior Challenge. Start down that path list, and let's see if we can't help you. Also figure out how to navigate it, because the fact that we can have these conversations and we can have them public speaks volumes to who we are as a couple and what we've been able to put on the line for the last 22 years. So I love you. I look forward to your love notes, and no fights for the next two weeks after that.

Cabo, Cabo.