Do you have "GAME" inside your marriage

I feel like you're cheating on me with Keith. Like, every morning I come down and resent you in my hot tub. I was like, fuckers.

And he did. I couldn't figure out why she was so angry.

Okay.

You got the best version of my husband. Like, Zen.

Exactly. There's been times where I felt that way, too. Even given what we do, I'm like, what the. I want a date. How about that?

Yeah.

In order to set up today's D2Y podcast, we met for an exclusive meeting with our guests at the Sweatshop, AKA Grit Cycle. When asking why one of our members of the four didn't show up today to the class, his response was, that's gay. I said, I'm only gay for you, bro. Excited to have you on the show later today. Today is an honor for me and Danielle to have my best friend and his amazing, beautiful wife and the founders of Mary Game here as a guest on our show.

We've had a total, I think of like, four guests.

We're.

We're, you know, we're pretty social like that.

Yeah, dude. Well, 50% bump. We got two, so.

And here we are. So listen, I'm a year when you.

Had your second set.

Anyway, we have this show normally be me and Danielle getting to share all of our opinions etc, but we're actually going to be peppering you two with the questions because one of the things I've seen. I'm going to start this off the gate. Keith is the. The founder of Mar Game created this model here. I got to be part of witnessing the evolution of this. But there was an addition to Married Game. I'm going to do this in nine different directions. Just trust me as we roll. Jesse, you stepped into the podcast and stepped into the messaging and the coaching of other men in their marriages. What did you notice Show. What did you notice change for you two as a couple when you started being involved in the show?

We had a lot more to talk about, that's for sure. So when I dove deep with these men, I invest myself into their lives, about their relationships and their feelings. So, like, him and I would discuss a lot of things, but there's things that he would pick up on and there's things I would pick up on, and I think it worked out even better for the guys to point out their flaws or where they're wrong or where they're right, and then, you know, help them go, do you do.

Do you do all of the shows with Keith and you guys do invite, like, I know we we were on your show, but do you have, like, just, like. Like a guy come in? You're coaching him or like, on the podcast?

Yeah, well, sometimes he'll do them by himself.

Okay.

But she. Jesse's actually talking about. What I'm referencing is the actual coach.

You do the coaching calls.

Oh, I didn't know. Coaching calls.

One out of every eight you jump on.

Yeah, I started doing a lot of them in the beginning.

But are you doing them individually or doing them together?

Oh, okay.

Gotcha.

It's a group together.

Gotcha.

But then now. He'll do most by himself now, and then I'll hop on sometimes.

Okay, Gotcha.

So, Keith, you added. We were actually talking about this just recently. About. About our. What's the problem? Oh, my daughter is interrupting the show. By the way, this is pretty normal part for the course Date youe Wife. Our kids have decided that podcast.

I just spent $32 on Starbucks.

Let's go.

That happens a lot around.

So we were actually sharing this with. We were at a marriage conference, which was not the best marriage. I'd never been to a marriage conference. You said, you're not gonna probably be impressed. It was a church conference. We went, and we weren't really impressed. We left early and had sex in the hotel room. It was amazing.

So it worked?

Yeah, it worked.

It worked. But one of the things that was interesting was like, she. Pastor Rochelle didn't share much. She was like 1 25th of the conversation rest was just him sharing. What's it been like having her voice with you at Married Game versus just being another guy talking about sex and marriage?

Well, it's. Well, first of all, it's a lot of fun for me because her and I, we talk about game. We talk about this shit, like, all the time. So when I know what she thinks and I know what she's seen, and she's helped me be able to see a lot of things because she'll go, hey, did you pick up this? This I got. And I actually didn't see that, but did you see this or this? And she's like, no, I didn't. I'm like, well, because I got a penis, you got a vagina is probably why we're seeing things differently. But then it helped me understand how women see things, so then it gave me a whole new perspective. So, dude, it's way more fun for me. A. And she's my best friend, so anything we get to do together, it's like, this is gonna be, like, a lot of fun. Secondly, the Guys benefit. So I like sitting back, and then they'll ask me a question, I'll give them the answer, and they're like, okay, Jesse, what do you think? And she has to be like, that's actually it. They're like, oh, it just feels good hearing it from you. And it's not just Keith coming up with this stuff.

Validating.

And then the third thing is it's radically validating. When people hear her talk, they go, actually, she knows what she's talking about. This is what's going on around here.

And one more thing is that you got to know me more personally on things that we haven't been through or their take. So you heard my take. So you get to know me personally.

Do you? Do you guys. So is the whole premise of Married Game is about, like, seducing your partner kind of thing? Yeah, like, I mean, I kind of know the messaging just from social media. But is it like teaching guys how to have game with their wife?

That's exactly it.

Game.

Okay.

Well, that's what I figured. And so you're. I can see why they're like, well, Keith, you're full of shit. We want to hear from. Yeah, we want to hear from Jesse. Is this work for you? You know?

Yeah. Like, because not all of our methods are orthodox, you know, by today's society. So. But every time I share them with a guy and it's the exact opposite of what he thinks he's supposed to do, they always report back and go, that worked really well. I'm like, well, no shit. Yeah. So it's. There's these things that happen. It's just like, if you just listen to this and you follow this, you will see a different result. And when they hear me say it, they're like, I don't know if that's true. And then she'll be like, no, that's 100% true.

And here's why we do that in our calls, too.

And then. And then. Then they're like. And then she's like. And not only that. And then she'll add the female perspective and be like, oh, well, yeah, that's actually.

That makes sense.

That's true. Yeah. It's just fun. Like, you say married Game. If a guy's single and he doesn't have game, the world's his ocean. Like, everything's open to him. But if he's married and he's in a monogamous relationship, if you don't got game, yeah, you're gonna work every day to keep me.

You Gotta work every day to keep me. Yeah, I tell Gary, I was telling Gary that, like, it was like last week. I'm like, like, I'm yours. But you're still gonna work to keep me.

Yeah, like, but that's a different attitude than. That's a different attitude than most marriages, though. It's not you'd have to work to keep me. It's like, you're fucking stuck with me. Yeah, go fuck yourself.

Or like, I got the girl, I don't have to try anymore.

Yeah, that's.

So who wants to feel stuck?

Bullshit.

Yeah.

Ever.

Well, so we were discussing this, like, in marriage. Like, there's the divorce statistics, but then there's the other statistic that nobody's talking about, which is the number of disconnected, dissatisfied married couples who stay married and who stay monogamous and who stay in that situation of fucking prison and hell and death. Like, we, we hit. I mean, we have been very vocal about this too. You two showed up in our world. Little did I realize what we were planting was the seeds that would save our marriage, like, legitimately without you two in our lives. A year ago, I don't think we could have made it through what we were going through.

We were raised very close minded and raised very, like, shame and guilt and like, he's the provider and I just have to be okay with it. And like, we just, we had a lot of disconnection throughout like half of our marriage until we started to like, question things, you know, and it was like, okay, you know, we did the checklist, we did the checkbox, how we were raised, whatever culture, society, and this sucks. And part of it for me was like, especially when you bring kids into the mix, even if you're unhappy and you're not getting laid as a mother, like, if you. There's kids involved, it's so hard to separate. Like, as much as I'm like, oh, don't say in it for the kids. Like, so many women and myself included, when we were. Had two kids, I like, probably we were just. I probably would have got divorced, but I felt like I have two kids now with him. I'm stuck. Right? So it's like the whole like, what you guys are doing is teaching people to have game inside of marriage.

Yeah.

To keep their relationship alive.

Yeah, well, dude, nobody said, I can't wait to get married, to be bored for the rest of my life. No woman's like, I can't wait to fucking marry a stud and then only wait two years and becomes a dud. And now I'm supposed to like, want to be with this guy. Like, it's all, it's all just like personal accountability. The basic principle is personal accountability. To be the best version of you when you show up, don't fucking get off. Don't just stop. Don't stop. That. That's like. People are like, oh, man, I used. I wish I had sex like when we were dating. Like, well, what's your dating life like? Well, it sucks. Well, no wonder your sex life sucks. Like, no shit. It's so fucking simple. And if you just go, yeah, you know, hey, Captain Crunch is not going to give you a six pack diet. We all fucking know this. And yet people Captain Crunch their relationship all day long and it's like, wake up, man. So, so just. But I had to wake up. If, if it wasn't her, I wouldn't know.

That's what we're going to get to, right? Because this like behind every movement maker I know is not even behind. I mean, it's not even like behind. It's just in the box of that container is a woman who took a stand and said, in, in better words or less words, go yourself, wake the up and let me know when you're ready to go. Otherwise I'm getting out of here. Which was Danielle colliding with me last year. This was you was seven years ago. So six years ago.

Eight years ago.

Almost eight years ago.

Almost eight. Yeah.

Take me back to that. Because this is before Mary game. You guys have been together for a couple years?

Five.

Five years at that time.

Almost five. Over five.

There's a timeline. We were together two years. He dumped me. Then we got back together for three years. We had Jovi in between that time. Joby was almost 2. And then I left him.

How long were you separated when she was two?

I always forget that. Like six months. Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah. When you left at that point, did you leave thinking, this is it? Like, I'm like, I'm done.

Oh, 100%. Or I wouldn't have put Jovi through that. But thank God she doesn't remember at all. But I was like, I have one kid, not two, you know, like. And that was my reason for even staying for. Since she was born. He like, the whole thing was awful. He just was totally not checked in. And for those whole two years, I was like, you're not even like here. I would tell him, things have to change or they're going to change. So I didn't like directly say, I'm going to leave you. And I Think that's where. I don't even know if he would have changed anyways, so I think the whole. I had to leave for him to change.

So was that like a wake up call for you? And you were just like, you think?

I mean, dude, the biggest frying pan across the face.

Would you say.

Was it because you, like, felt like you had the girl, so you didn't. You were just like, whatever. Like there wasn't like, that care factor.

Yeah, his ego. He even told me he was like, I thought that you would never leave me. He's like, you had a great life. You guys were just, you know, you're fine, you're taken care of, but, like, you were checked out all the way.

When you're blind, it's not that you can't see. It's like you can't see. It's not that you don't want to see. You just. I was so blind to everything we talk about now. I was the exact opposite guy.

We didn't go on dates, we didn't go out dancing. All the stuff that we now, we did not do any of it. I just stayed home.

I'm surprised how many.

Vegas. Yeah. The Vegas house with the pool.

Yeah.

So you had created the container, the castle.

It was beautiful.

You're like, you paid for it.

I'm fine. Yeah.

You were doing real estate at the time. That was a real estate money game, right?

Yeah.

And were you traveling, speaking at that time?

Yeah. And I was in a lot of masterminds and stuff like that.

Okay. And you. Did you just leave one day, or was this like a conversation you guys had and then you packed up and moved out?

It feels like I just left, But I had the conversations. He's like, you didn't say anything. I go, yes, I did. I said things to you. But I was in between my mom's house and where we were staying because he was gone all the time. And the only joy I had was going to my mom's house and hanging out with my family. So I was there all the time, and I was like, fuck this. Like, I don't want to go back. I would dread going back because I just would be there alone, like prison.

Did you? And at the time, you had no.

This is your guy right here. This is your. He's coming back.

But you had no idea. This is. How did you have an awareness that she was feeling this way? Or you were ignoring it, or you just were completely ignorant to it?

Ignorant, blind, deaf, dumb.

You said that you were even bragging about our relationship that day or that morning.

The weekend of her leaving me, I always tell my body, I'm like, yeah, she's going pretty good, blah, blah, blah.

You're like, I got the hot wife, I got the house. Like, she's taken care of. I did my man job.

And it's like the weekend you're saying it probably happens how awesome you guys are, she packs up and leaves.

Done.

That's the fucking storyline of men and women across the board though.

We're so. We're so. When I say the wake up call, it was almost like from black and white to color man.

Yeah. At least you had the courage to leave him. Like some women like cheat.

Yeah.

And then the guy doesn't take responsibility for how he showed up. He's like, my wife cheated. And you're like, well, yeah.

That's why we say it's 95% of the guys problem on everything we talk about. Because it usually is. It's just a. It's a leadership issue. You know, if you haven't been leading yourself and she's watching you not lead yourself, then she looks down on you and she goes, what the fuck, dude? He used to lead himself. And then it's all. It all cascades.

Yeah.

So I've gotten to see like an interesting side of you two because I've. And you've gotten to see a very interesting side into our world too. Being your best friend, being gay surfers in Costa Rica, I mean, that was an incredible experience.

You know, for a year straight, I told Garrett, I was like, I feel like you're cheating on me with Keith. Like every morning I'd come down and resent you in my hot tub. I was like, the fuckers.

And he did. I couldn't figure out why she was angry.

You got the best version of my husband. Like, Zen.

Exactly. There's been times where I felt that way too. Even given what we do, I'm like, what the. I want a date. How about that?

I never looked at it like a big deal. I was like, bro, it's my best friend. He shows up, surf every single morning. It's awesome. Two hours every morning I got one date.

But it's not a big deal if you're giving her that attention.

I'm getting like 12 to 14 hours a week over here and getting like.

Figure out why I didn't like you for so long. That is taking my date day.

I know.

So we are sitting out in the water one of the many times during our morning dates, and we are Talking for like three straight weeks about how nappy you are.

Just.

It was probably a month straight of just. I fucking hate what I'm doing. Private money. You'd written a book, you had clients coming in. But it was just like, eh. When he's in that state. Go back three years ago, like think, go back. I was looking at photos from like 20, 19 and 20 and I couldn't believe that was him. Like compared to who he is right now. Like, it was very. Before he launched Mary Game and he was kind of in the. Stuck in a rut with the. He was making money, he was selling. He could always make money, but was so unhappy. What was going on for you.

Well, that's a trigger for me. I know you don't like the word trigger or whatever, but that's a trigger because it's our own relationship. Those things would happen here or there. And then he gets in the rut and then I feel like he forgets about me again. I'm like, shit, now it's all about you. You're miserable about this or that. Like it affects me. So at times it affects me. Even like recently, the three years ago when you were trying to figure it out, it just was such a trigger from before. So I just worry about like our relationship in those times and they do suffer.

So yeah, I think it's like it's. It can't be all about one person's pain. You're like, if you're in pain, I'm in pain.

Yeah.

We're now both in pain.

Yeah.

So it's like your pain is not greater than my pain.

That's good.

Yeah.

But you were hurting. And we sat there and I asked you a question that changed everything. You became the guy to talk about the thing I've talked about for like 12 years, but not professionally. I just talk about sex all the goddamn time. But I asked you some questions out in the ocean about helping some of our guys at Warrior. What were they? If you don't remember, just make them up. Cause it'll be close enough to whatever the fucking questions were anyways. I don't remember exactly what the questions were.

You would give me scenarios. This is what I remember. You'd give me scenarios. And I go, oh, did you tell them to do this? And you're like. I'd be like, yeah, just tell him to do this. It'll be fixed. And he'll be like, oh, shit. Yeah, that does make sense. That's what I remember is those scenarios would pop up and I'd Be like, oh, he's probably. Ask him this question. He probably has this and this. And he'd be like, yeah, that's happened to me before.

I'm.

Yeah, well, it's happened to me 17 million times. That's why I can hear it faster than you guys can. So it was something like that, right? It was those types of questions.

Yeah. Right. And I had been. It was before the man cave and I had. We were talking about. I just kept bringing up all these scenarios with guys and their issues in sex and marriage and how many of our guys. It's not like a small number. You've seen this now with the guys that come into the program. There's a large percentage of the men that come to Wake Up Warrior that are either in sexless marriages. We're talking 65,000 guys. I got data points. Vast majority of these men are either in sexless marriages or they're in vaginal masturbation marriages, or they're in such discontentment about what it. Even when there's some passion emotion, it's just. It's just not fulfilling at all for them. And so I just asked you. I was like, do you think you could teach game to married dudes? I didn't even know if it was possible.

Yeah, I was like, I don't even.

Know if Is this a fucking thing. Because I only knew pickup artists, and.

I knew it was possible.

I didn't know. I had no idea if you could do it.

Well, those two words have never been put together before. You said them. Never married game. And it's like a concept that was never there.

You made it and you took it.

Well, I was it.

You were it.

You were like, this is the title of what I'm seeing. There's a married dude that has game.

I feel like. And maybe you can tell me, like, women get to this point where they feel so abandoned that even if the guy shows up and starts to have a little bit of game, they're almost like, too late. Like, oh, now you're gonna show up. And they reject it. And so then the guy probably gets discouraged, and he's like, coach, I'm doing what you said. And you're like, do you tell him, like, keep doing it?

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Because we have a mantra for that where he says, her response does not dictate your standard. So it's usually like, ultimate game is, you are the guy. Right. There's no. It's undeniable. It's not like you set a right line. It's just you always say the right line because you're the guy. So that's ultimate game. Well, that guy, his wife will look at him and go, oh, he does do what he says he can do. Oh, he. I don't feel neglected. We. We came to realize just recently, like, I neglected her, like, horribly in December, like, really bad, to the point where she was like, I'm. I fucking hate you. I'm like, well, I kind of fucking hate you too.

Yeah.

And it was like, I didn't realize that her feeling neglected is the same sting that we feel when we feel sexually rejected as mental. As soon as I made that connection, I was like, this girl's never getting neglected ever fucking again as long as she lives.

What did neglect?

I would say that statement's pretty true. Like, if. If I feel like he doesn't pay attention to me and like, his were disconnected. I'm like, I don't even want to have sex with you.

Yeah.

I'm like, I don't feel seen. Yeah, you do. Like, I know you want to have sex. I don't feel seen.

Yeah.

So it's. It's. I would say that's very common. I always tell Garrett, I say, hey. I was like, there's gonna be times where you're traveling or you're busy, and then you come back and I'm kind of resentful and mad at that disconnection. I said, but now what I try to do is like, hey, tomorrow's a new day. So instead of holding this resentment and letting two weeks turn into a month of disconnection, I'm like, hey, it's like when you mess up on your diet, you're like, I could let this spiral, or I could, like, give myself some grace for being human and just start back up. Right. Cause I think it's hard being married. Like, sometimes, you know, you are going to feel neglected. You know, but sometimes you're going to feel neglected because the guy's out hunting and he's got to go get some shit done.

Yeah.

So it's like, when he gets back, then let's make a conscious effort to not wall up and let's, like, kind of start fresh, start over.

But you also know, too, if he's out hunting, if he's sending back transmissions from the front line because they're just like, hey, how are you? Or, hey, I thought of you. This. Like, there's a different energy, like when he's, like, reporting back to you because he's your best friend versus, I gotta check in with the old ball and chain. Because if he's best friend check in. You're like, oh, kitty, you're sending shots. You may be talking heavily into the phone with each other at night. You know what I mean? Like, difference. Right?

Right.

Yeah, but that's. That's what. Anyway, back to the show Coach.

Jess, how did you go back to December? Like, what. What did neglect. What did that even look like for you?

Like, it's so funny because a married game, we have all our non negotiables and our dials and things that we check in on. Well, he was out. He was still checking in. I'm like, I asked him, what are you checking in on? Like, you haven't checked in on me. You just. Yep. Did this, did that. Well, that didn't make me feel good.

Yeah. Yeah.

So he's like, did I check in with my partner? Yeah, I made her green drink in the morning. That's it. That's it.

All day.

I came home, I ate, we sat down for a minute and then I went off upstairs. I was like, fuck this. So even like, like I said, our non negotiables and like check ins. We didn't go on dates. Like, he wasn't like, want to go on a date? It wasn't excited. Talk to me, see me, Nothing. It was like I was a lot.

Of this, like stress with the business and the shifts in the business were happening.

That's why I said that's a trigger for me. That happens.

Yeah, that. Yeah, 100%.

Because you were going through a bunch of changes with what Mary. What you were committed to with Mary Game.

Yeah, that I do feel like he makes it about him.

Ended up being our situation. January, like, so it ended up being our best month in January. So clearly I had my foot on the wrong gas pedal. Or not both at the same time.

Well, that's what happens is like when we crash, it like gets stronger and stronger. It gets better. Shit we've been through.

But it was probably the biggest. It was like the mo. It was like the most recent wake up call for me again. Dude, she's your best friend. Why aren't you treating her like your best friend? Like, come on, dude, you're better than that. It's like, oh, yeah. And then it's like an instant change. It's not like, I'm gonna work on. It's like, no, you know who to be. You've been him before. Fucking do it again.

So both you girls, I'm asking you this, how do you, like, what is the feeling that you have that lets you know we're not in it.

Okay.

I'm ask both of you this, because it might be the same or different, but for both of you, like, how do you know I'm not in it? Because there's many times I'm hitting the fucking checklist, so.

I love when Garrett sacrifices something that's important for him, for me, so. Meaning, like, he's like. Like last week he wanted to sit down and meditate. He meditates religiously every afternoon. And I was going to Target, and I was like, I invited him to go, just trying to make more conscious efforts to spend time together. And I was like, I literally don't. I know you want to meditate. I don't care if you want to come with me to Target. And he was like, yeah, I want to go with you. Target.

Yeah.

It's like, so little things like that where it's like, I knew he sacrificed something that is important to him for me.

Yeah.

And it wasn't like, hey, I made you a coffee or a green drink. That's not hard to do, right? I don't care. I mean, I do. I mean, it's nice, but I also want.

Anymore?

Yeah, anymore.

What about for you, Jesse?

Well, I like when the communication flows so effortless all day. Like, we check in, we talk. Hey, guess what? And because when you. When I talk to him, like, more, all day, I have more to say. Oh, remember I told you this this morning while I'm. This happened because of this or that or whatever. So it just feels like my friends.

Like, you're hanging out.

Yeah. I'm woven into the narrative of your.

Life way more instead of not.

I think it's too. It's hard with kids, too, because if you don't have that. Those moments of talking throughout the day and then you get home and like, for us, because we have quite a few kids, it's just. It's like. It's like a shit show sometimes. And you're like. And then finally it's like. I mean, we go to bed, like, nine.

Yeah.

Finally at nine, I'm like, I got no more and gas in the tank. I felt like I saw you all day, but there was little communication. So it's like all the little things that kind of add up as connecting points for couples.

So when you guys have a moment where you have to horse crack.

Can I interrupt you, though?

Yeah, go.

I have a cue that I can tell you that 100%, you know, is the cue. And I bet you you know, as well, just for the good listeners at home, when I start judging your hobbies or not participating in things that you like, that's when my shield is starting to go.

My TV watching's a hobby.

Yeah. Because I don't like watching tv. She likes it, so I do. And so all I know she wants.

When he's like, what the miss is on? Or can we do anything else? Like, he just comes in with this attitude of entitlement. But that attitude, bro, I don't. I'm having a great time. You do whatever you want.

And I'm watching Jiu Jitsu. I'm like, look at this new arm bar. And she's like, I don't give a. About your arm bar, you dumb. Dumb.

But when we show the interest. Yeah.

So she just wants to have an inside joke with me that we watch some stupid show with these people yelling at each other like, remember that?

Frickin love it. I love it.

But when I'm not doing that, I go, oh, my partner dials down. Like, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not treating her like my best friend. And I go, this is a problem.

You know how I know?

That's my trigger.

Our partner dial is I'm really cranky and bitchy. I just feel that could also be.

The time of the month thing.

No, sir. No, sir.

Maybe some extra death.

No.

Okay.

It's like they. They breathe the wrong way and you're annoyed.

Yeah. Yeah. Because we're not connected.

Danielle's been telling me she doesn't even get the cranky during her period. Now it's just ovulation.

Oh, it's weird.

I feel good during ovulation.

Do you?

I'm older than you, so it changes. I turn 40 and all of a sudden my periods are like easy breezy and like ovulation. I'm like, I'll rip your face off.

Oh, gosh.

Okay, so you know.

All right.

Yep.

It's aggressive.

Well, there you go.

Okay, so let's come back. So Mary game is a decision. And three. Three years ago, three years ago, you decide to do this for real. And you decide to walk away from what you were doing in private money, what you were doing in real estate, which you'd been doing for a long time. You're very successful at it. You could have continued to do it.

Sure.

If you could have survived, you know, having to cut yourself with razor blades all day long, which you were not probably going to survive. So you choose to get into this game of guiding Married men on game. And we started with our first test group at warrior with 30 guys. I said, let's see what happens. Talk to me about that first rollout, what you were experiencing. And then Jesse, I want to hear from you as he's sharing, like, what did you start seeing change in him? Because I couldn't fucking believe it. I was looking at pictures of us from Waco in 20, 19 and 20, and all I'm thinking is fraps and sticks and dun bars 19 times. He's a different.

You guys go to Walmart and get those frozen pizza scraps and sticks.

Exactly. So talk to me, dude. What, what started, like, what started when you made that decision, what was it that was driving the decision for you to take this on as not just, hey, this is something I can do, but okay, this is what I'm called to do.

Dude. It's so interesting because, like, I have been drawn to Game and the, like, the game of males and females back long before I met Jesse and I, even when right after we got together, I create a program called the Elements of Attractions Becoming Great with Women. I wrote the book, she did. We did a little seminar. And weren't you on the COVID Yeah, I love it.

I was excited about that too.

And it was like this thing was like, I've always loved the topic, always been interested in it. So it's almost like we did that and then I kind of lost my way in the. In the grind of making money. Etc, Etc, Etc. So I think when you and I were surfing and the questions into shit you and I would talk about and the ease with which all the answers came to me, it was almost like there was this interesting springboard. And then I started meeting a bunch of Warrior dudes just by being your best friend and not even knowing what really warrior was. And I started being able, like, well, did you do this? Did you try this? You say they're like, oh, no, thank you so much. So it was almost like just you and I talking and me meeting all these dudes that made me go, yeah, you have all the answers for these guys because you've been through all the same shit, but even worse. So it was almost like this weird thing. It's still funny to this day to think about what we do. It's so hilarious. We talk with dudes about sex all.

Day in the wild bar so that you would give answers at that time that you were just like, you know, hey, you know, just, you know, rub the left elbow and tickle her right shoulder. And it'll work. And we like, what the fuck? How did you even know to do that, dude? So we do the left elbow and tickle the right shoulder. And it would work. And we're like, this fucking guy's a goddamn guru. How does he know this shit? So now I'm coming to you. So he starts making this change and pivots away from real estate. He's six months, nine months down the road on Married game now. What do you start seeing change in him as he starts focusing on guiding other men to find game in their marriage?

Well, I was gonna say it was. The transition was effortless. I feel like it was just natural effortless. It was supposed to happen. But the change I saw in him was him. We were more consistent, so our fighting are farther apart. So he started tracking his measurements towards me and us and our marriage and then for himself too, which then makes our marriage, like, way better when he's happy. So I felt like it was just longer and longer in between fights and situations where we're like, fuck this, you know?

So it obviously helps us a massive change. Like, just in, like, I remember. And I remember telling Keith this too. When we go out, you guys would be like on a Tuesday afternoon or something, and I'd get a picture from you two riding the E bike to Coast Coastal Kitchen for like, espresso martinis on a Tuesday at 3 o'. Clock. And I remember telling Keith this. I'm like you, number one for setting a standard that makes me look like an. And number two, dude, I need to do like that for you two when it comes to dating each other. Like, Jesse, what's like the. What's like the motto? And Danielle, I'm going to come to you on the same thing, same question. Like, what is. How do you think through dating this man to keep it exciting? Yes. He's gonna plan, he's gonna do his things. But for you, from your side, like, what. What is your mindset as a woman married to a man who's got a very, very opinionated reality of life, very deep perspectives on how life is. Like, how do you look at the game of dating?

Like, I feel like we date so well more is me because I like to have fun and go out and I push him to the limits more. So that's why I think keeps our dating life exciting. Also, like during the week and stuff, that's you pushing me. Like, let's go get some lunch. So we both keep each other accountable and excited to do stuff together.

It sounds like you guys have a lot of spontaneity. Like, which is more actually because, like, you get married and you're like, oh, date nights on Friday. Like, you get in your routine, and I think that's what gets lost when you're married. Just think about if you were actually dating. Hey, it's Tuesday. You want to go grab a martini?

Yeah.

You don't care what's going on? You're like, absolutely. This call. Get rid of that. She's definitely going for a martini.

You know, that's the spirit. That's it.

That is the spirit. But you can still be like, I'm really rigid about my schedule, too. Planning. But I plan to have fun, and I plan to be spontaneous when we're out.

Like, have flexible days that you can.

So it's like, Friday. What do you want to get into? Like, I don't know. Let's figure it out. That's the spontaneous part. But I'm still planned to be spontaneous.

Yeah.

Because I gotta get the sitter and do the things too.

Yeah. When you're a mom, you're like, well, I can't. I can only be so spontaneous. Yeah.

You plan to be spontaneous, or you plan to go get the hotel room and say, let's see where the night takes us. I don't know.

Yeah.

So that helps.

Sex is obviously a massive piece of this equation. It's the piece of the equation for these guys and what they're trying to unlock from the female perspective. Coming to you two. And then Keith will come to you on this one. Like, Jesse, start with you, then come to Danielle, and then we'll come back to Keith. Like, what words can you get? There's gonna be. We're gonna have a ton of women listening to this exact show. Like, I promise you. Because the game that we have going on right now with Married Game, my backing of what you're doing, what's happening in Warrior, this show right here will get listened to more than a lot of the shows that we've done. So women are going to be listening to this. These women come from different perspectives of like, fuck my husband. I'm tired of this bullshit. He can go fuck himself. I'm not doing this. Da, da, da, da. What? Or the opposite side of, like, I really want to be held and touched and fucked. I don't know how to do it with this guy the way he is when you speak to these guys. But particularly if you were speaking to the women, what counsel would you give to these women knowing the kind of guys that they are married to? Because you've gotten a good taste for it here in the last couple years.

Well, there's all different kinds of guys. So, like, what kind of guy? Entrepreneur guy?

Yeah.

Or the guy needs to step up and be, like, the badass man. Like, there's a whole bunch of different type of men, so you're dealing with different women to talk to the men. It all just depends.

Run it down. Give me a couple principles that would apply when.

What I'm hearing from Garrett is like, what can we do to help the women? Like, because I feel being. I mean, I know we were raised totally different. You've always come across very free to me. Very free. I was raised, like, super, like, structured, religious, and so, like, I think a lot of women, like, in that box, they don't. They don't have this freedom. Like, you seem very, like, free with yourself.

Mm.

And so it's like, how do you help these women who feel so trapped to just be free and flirty and fun and sexy? You know what I mean?

That also depends on the man like you. So you feel, like, safe and secure. Like, I. I am more free, and I love to be that way. But there was a time where I wasn't. Because he wasn't handling his shit. And I start to man up.

Right. Yeah.

And then I don't want to be like, yeah. So what I would say is just to be, like, super duper honest. There's no other way to get around anything if you don't fully say what you're feeling.

Yeah.

That's where you start. That's just. You have to start there.

Yeah.

Garrett and I got in a fight last week, and I.

The only.

Like, I'm always like, what am I. I'm always like, what am I going to do? How do I get out of this? And I just kept getting the impression of, like, tell him what you want.

Yeah.

And I'm like, shit. It's that easy. And I kept going back, tell him what you want. Like, but that's scary. Then he knows the truth. And then it's like.

And you're vulnerable.

Yeah. You're vulnerable, and you're like, but I'm the tough one.

I'm the strong one. Yeah.

Like, yeah, but that doesn't. It's not really what you want. You're like, I want to be. I want to be taken care of. I want to be held. I want to be feminine.

It's hard to be that vulnerable, too.

Yeah.

Because I like to be like, man, I don't fucking.

Yeah. Like, I don't need you.

Yeah, but I do.

But I want to.

Want to be, too. So.

Yeah.

So that attitude has become a prevalent attitude for women, which has created an interesting game for men, which. And this has even happens here in our home with my wife and our daughters, where I will watch this. This energy of, I don't fucking need a man. I need a man, but I want a man. I want to handle my own shit. And I've watched my wife. I've watched you get into it with our daughters and empowering that belief. And I've had to step in and cross check this and go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Can we have a timeout real quick? Let's have a chat about this. This idea that you have going. Jesse, what are you seeing from women today, though, with this? More aggressive. I can do it. I don't need a man. Go fuck yourself. You know, we got wet Ass Pussy is one of the top songs in the country for about a year and a half. And, like, what are your thoughts there? And Danielle? Same thing. I mean, you come from the power boss woman of business and entrepreneurism, but what are your thoughts about this? Like, how can guys deal with. If they have a relationship with a woman who's being taught that she doesn't need him? Like, how do you navigate that conversation as a guy.

Like, to his wife?

Yeah.

Oh, man. What would you say? Well, what would you want to hear is the thing? Because this is something that I struggle with, actually, is like, I'm feminine.

Yeah.

Then I have strong feminine. Yeah.

Like, strong feminine.

Yeah. So I actually. I struggle with this a little bit.

But you come across, like, incredibly feminine, and so does Danielle. Like, you both have figured this out. So, like, what have you two figured out? Because I feel.

I feel like it's like, I'm quick to be stubborn and, like, respond, and then I'm like, oh, I didn't really get what I want, so that's really stupid. Like, so then I, like, my ego has to be like, just tell him what you want. Even though I want to be, like, the strong one. So I'm like, okay. Like, even, like, when we were supposed to go to. When we were supposed to go to San Diego, I'm like, do you want to go to San Diego? Cause we got a fight. And he goes, probably not. And I go, screw you. Then I'm gonna go to San Diego without you. But that's not what I wanted. So I came back and I go, you know what? I actually would love to go to San Diego with you, even though I'm fucking pissed. And he's looking at me like, well, why didn't you say that? I'm like, because it was really hard for me to say that.

Because you were acting like a dickhead. Yeah. I'm like.

Because you were. Yeah. I'm like, you were being an asshole.

And she's like, I'm going to San Diego without you. I said, I'm going to Mexico with Sean and Saxony without you.

And I'm like, the fuck you are like. I was like. And I could have been, like, stayed in my, like, madness and gone to San Diego, but all I would have been is super pissed in San Diego.

Yeah.

So I was like, what do I want? I had to, like, literally go upstairs, take a breather, and come downstairs and be like, I want to go to San Diego with you. When I asked you if you wanted to go, I thought you would say, yes, I'd love to go. And when you said, we probably should cancel, I was triggered.

You know?

So it's like, for me, I feel like women sometimes. I'm like, this is what's helped me. I'm like, what do you want? And when I ask myself, what do you want? My response? It might be submissive to my husband. It might be like, hey, I was wrong, or, hey, even though you're an asshole, I still love you, but what do I want? And it's hard because it's like. It's like. I don't know if it's like an ego thing or what it is, but I'm like, okay, well, to get what I want, I have to go tell him X, Y, and Z. And that's okay. I'm willing to do that because I love this man.

So neither one of you answered the question, but you both added amazing value.

Let me say one thing that you say, okay? I have had to learn to not be reactive. I have learned to not have a tone. And I obviously still struggle with this. But when I come to him and I say things clear for him to hear me, then he'll hear it better, and he won't have a tone. He won't have his guard up. And so then we can communicate exactly what we want. So it's just learning each other's tone and triggers and try not to do that. So what does our therapist say? Be the resident expert on him. That's what I'm trying to learn.

We have the same therapist.

It's funny. When I'm talking to you guys, I'm like, yo, we're learning the same stuff, too, right now.

All the time. All the time. We've been going to him for a long time.

Keith, talk to me, because you got some great answers churning for us here.

The specific answer is your daughter is going to pick what she's made to pick. And a woman who is female will gravitate towards a true masculine essence. So either A, you're setting such an incredibly high standard for what that is, that she will never be able to satisfy that A, and it's only going to happen by her seeing you and experiencing what that is, not by you telling her there's something better out there. People keep eating chocolate because it tastes fucking amazing. It's the way we are as humans. So, like, your daughter has no. She's. There's no problem. You just be that for this. Because what do you guys ultimately want? You guys are badass bitches. I get it. But you want to be nestled in the man's of the strongest, most fit, most capable, richest, resourceful, powerful motherfucker on planet Earth. So if you become that which you already are and growing, and so am I, and growing, that's what the heart of a woman really wants. So, like, we don't even have to convince him otherwise. Like, that guy's a this. And she's like, well, I like that guy. Well, way do you see him out in the real world when he's not eating mar food?

Mm.

You'll find out. And, like, letting them realize, oh, my God, my mom and dad are, like, true, feminine, masculine savages, and they understood their role. That's my opinion. So I just don't think that woman who actually tastes real, true, masculine man sitting in his power, they don't reject it. They go, motherfucker. And that's actually what I really want.

So. It's difficult. It's the rarest.

It's the rarest creature on planet Earth.

Yeah.

Well, it's. It's interesting, too, because right now, it's like, there's so much, like, women empowerment. And I'm like, I'm a boss, but I know my role.

Yeah.

And I know I am a very feminine woman. Just because I'm a boss, like, that doesn't mean I'm for this other side. Like, all this. Like, Bailey comes home, and I'm like, I don't even think she knows this, what she's talking about. She's 17. She doesn't know. It's just been fed to her. Yeah, but. But I even see her, like, with her relationship with her boyfriend and how safe she is. And she likes being taken care of. So I do believe what you're saying, that she might see media and have a strong opinion at 17, but ultimately, what does she want? What she sees emulated in the home.

Yep.

So it's like.

Well, and it's just what she's. They're wired. Women are wired to the. The reason why guys get muscles and have tattoos and ride motorbikes and. And. And weightlift and wrestle and do martial arts and act badass and smoke cigars is because those are masculine things that women go. They're actually attracted to it. You can't not be attracted. You're attracted to it to some degree. So that's why guys do it.

I told Garrett before he started lifting weights, I was like, oh. Like, I was literally like, yeah, you have a good body. Like, I don't care. Cause he'd be like, do you want me to. You know, I was like, no, you're good. And then when he got muscles, I was like, turns out I like muscles.

Turns out you like muscles. Yeah.

I'm not a fan of this. Okay, so you guys have continue to push down this path, and there are a series of dials that you talk about for guiding the relationship. Now, it seems like Jesse were kind of part of helping solidify these five dials. Correct. Okay. And these are the baseline of what the guys are being taught. Let's run down them real quick. Take me to the top one. What's the first one that you introduce?

Parenting dial.

Okay, let's talk about you two. Talk about this for a second. With parenting, what you say it is and then how you can see it play out. Part of this is because we're wanting to get this real measurable. So this will be helpful for me at the same time. Time. Okay, but. And then Dan will have you like, Danielle. I keep calling you Dan.

I don't know why I'm Dan today.

Spin together.

Right.

I'm broke. Good job, Dan. Well done.

I feel really feminine vibes from you today. So.

I don't know. I don't know. Her whole family's called her Dan their whole life.

Sweaty, Sweaty Dan.

Sweaty Dan. Okay, so first one. Parenting. Talk to me. Parenting. Dah. How does this have anything to do with sex?

Well, here's the bottom line. Women are going to love their children more than their husband 100% of the time. All the time. How do I know this? How do I know this? Because moms don't divorce kids. They divorce dads. So clearly that's an inseparable Bond. And so it's like what we look at, these dials maybe as an outward facing is like, this is what your wife's probably judging you at, and whether she's attracted to you or when you're a shit dad. Like, I was with our child. She said, you're such a bad dad, I don't even want to have another kid with you. And I maybe changed six or eight diapers, maybe 13, depending on how if she had diarrhea. But I just was like, checked out. Just totally checked out. So she goes, there's this thing that I created that I'm wired inside me to make sure this thing survives and then thrives, and you don't give two shits about it. So it's almost like you're rejecting her when you reject this kid by not just being a dad, that's. And actually gives a shit.

So that's most of the reason why I left you.

Yeah.

I'm raising a child that you weren't present to.

Yeah.

Yeah. So, like, the half the team isn't like they say, you know, carrying furniture is pretty easy, but it's a little hard when you're doing yourself. So I was doing this thing, but she was doing it by herself. So that's why, for me, I realized, oh, shit. Why am I such a horrible dad? Like, what? Where am I? Why am I so checked out?

You know, I thought finding a guy with three kids, I'm like, he's gonna be so good. He's a pro. We're gonna do this. We're gonna be such teammates. No, you were like, I'm fucking done. I already had three. I'm not doing shit. Yeah, that's basically what it was.

So is it that. And for both of you and Jesse, I'll start with you. Is it that when. When Keith shows up in the parenting dial and he's handling stuff with Jovi.

It'S always make you.

Is it hot to you?

Yes. So hot.

Okay, talk to us about this.

Like, you know how I know it's so good is that before I'd feel weird to ask him to watch Jovi. Like, can you watch her? I'm just gonna go to the store. I want to go alone. So I felt weird. Now I'm like, all right, what day you taking her? Cause I'm out. Like, I gotta go. I need time alone. So that's how I know it's way better.

That's hard for a lot of women to do, though. So at least you, like, recognize, like, hey, I'm not gonna feel bad for asking my husband.

I did. I used to have, but that was obviously him, like. And all the tone I'd get. And I'm like, I don't even want to ask him and anymore.

Yeah, yeah.

So now I ask him not to ask him. I say, what day do you want her?

Or I think, when guy, this is one thing. It's like a thing for me. Like, he expected more sex cuz he watched our kids. And I was like, you should want to watch our kids.

Yeah.

He'd be like, no, I took. You know, cuz I watched the kids on Saturday, so come here. And I was like, absolutely not. Now it's like the reverse turn off. I was like, oh, I thought you watched the kids.

You got a blowjob. And every time you watch kids, like.

He wanted to cash in sex points.

For watching the kids take her energy. Nobody wants that.

It's like something must be taught to our generation to do. Because so many dudes believe that.

Yeah.

Yeah. Like they. Not so many. Every freaking one of them you meet and you're like. And when they hear us talk about, like, that's not how it works. They're like, well, how does it work? Because you're right, it hasn't worked. What do we do? And you're like, oh, well, you'd actually just become a giver and have a really high standard of how you show up and like, just be a good dad. Because that's actually what you're supposed to be anyway. That's actually why they're attracted to it. Because that's. That's the way of a man. That's fucking masculine. She's attracted to masculinity. So go be that.

So like, what happens if you get divorced? Right? You're gonna be like, okay, when do you want the kids? That's what you say. But you're already divorced. Your relationship's already shit. So it's now it's like, when do you want Jovi?

Yeah.

And we're still together, so that's what people need to. And women need to start saying. Yeah.

Yeah.

We got some professionals on the line here also that probably got good marriages wanting to go to. Great. Can we throw a little nuance in there for them?

Sure.

All right, so every Disney story is the same. Boy meets girl, they fall in love. Something outside their control rips them apart. They fight like crazy to get back together, and then they tell the tale and how they made it back together. Right? Every Disney moment ever. And they're great. We love Them. We keep paying for them. So we started creating that for ourself, because what it does is you allows them to miss each other. So when Jesse would go hang out with her mom on the weekend, I could be with Jovi, and it would be Jovi and I all day, all night, all day the next day, so she can go have fun with her mom and her brother when he was alive. And then Jovi and I are, like, bonding like crazy. So then it actually. The kid goes, wow, I actually have to rely on this dude, the dad, which is typically the dad for everything. And then there's that bond, and then she can go, man, I kind of miss him. But most couples are so far up each other's ass, they're smelling each other's yesterday's leftovers. And it's like, come on, man, let's go.

So the energy is different of I'm showing up as a parent, and I didn't get this for a long time. Like, I mean, I was trained under the genre of, like, you. You. You just watch the kids on a Saturday afternoon. Your wife should want to sit on your face. I don't know where the training began, but all of us believe this. It was like, make money. If you do a bonus and you watch the kids, you're getting fucked for sure. And that was not happening. So, Danielle, what was the energy change in Jesse? Same thing. How do you know when he's showing up to be all in on the parenting dial and not just using it as a manipulative strategy?

I was gonna say this kind of goes back to, like, men are like, not only do I pay the bills and provide a castle, but I watched the kids so you could go have fun with your friends. And I'm like, but I still didn't get any time from you.

Oh.

I'm like, so you don't get to cash in kid points for blow jobs, and you don't get a catch. Cash in on a castle for blow jobs. I want to be with you. And so I think that's where it's like, it's probably hard for men because they're like, I'm, like, paying the bills, and I'm being a dad because it, like, older generations, it was like, just pay the bills. You don't have to be a dad now. It's like, pay the bills and be the dad and be the fucking husband. And so that's where you take good to great, is you have to have two people willing to do. Or especially for men, like, willing to do all Those time with the wife, time with the kids, time for you, time for the family. Like, it's. It truly is like, kind of like a balancing.

So you get points, but you don't get points.

Maybe we shouldn't use the word cash in in relationships, and we should just say, give her energy constantly, because I'm part of this world and life together. We want to be teammates and everything. So I don't know.

Well, here's another thought is if a guy goes, well, you have no idea how busy I am. I go, well, how busy are you going to be when you're divorced and you're trying to find another lady? You're going to date her, or is she just going to magically show up in your bedroom? Like. Like you're going to have to make the time eventually. You might as well make time for the one that you love that you already know. And if they already had the flame, it's there. Attraction isn't a choice. You guys didn't choose each other. You know what I mean? Like, eventually you chose each other because you want to be in a relationship with each other. But, like, there's an attraction. There's people you meet every day. You walk by and you go, not attracted. No, thank you. Never in a million years. And yeah, someone's like, that hot piece of fucking ass is going to be mine one day. And you're like, yeah. So that's. That's why we know. That's why it's so easy to get the light back on, because it's like all the wiring, everything's there. It's just. You got to fucking turn the switch back on.

So the parenting one is a frame of. Of attraction for you girls watching Keith and I take care of our kids. This is an attractive thing, but it's not the thing that has you say, I want to fuck you. It's just the thing that puts us in the game to be fuckable, I.

Have to have communication and time with you. Like, if I don't, like, like I said, then I just feel like roommates. I'm like, I have a nice house and a really. And a roommate. But I lose the attraction factor if, like, we don't connect. Does that make sense?

Yeah. Well, that's the next dial. You're trying to segue into partner dialogue. I see you.

All right, go. Second dial.

All right, so way to go, Danielle. Second dial is the partner dial. That's the best friend dial. That's one when you're talking about. That's the connection that's the. If something really funny happens to you, who's the first person you call and go, you're not gonna believe what happened to me. And, oh, hey, you got a minute for a really funny story? Or, oh, my God, you're not gonna believe what I heard about this. Or your daughter said this. Like, those are the best friend dials. And so we call it the partner dial, where you truly feel like you're in a team together as opposed to just, you know, did you do what you said? And it becomes like, the roommate situation. So that's what we call. We say very simple.

That's where playing comes in.

We'll play together. Well, the formula is connection outside the bedroom equals connection inside the bedroom. No connection outside. It's really rare to have it inside. Yeah.

Unless you're like, when he's showing up that way. Jesse, how do you know he's showing up and fulfilling that partner dial?

Well, remember we were saying in December, we had that whole thing that. That's the dial he forgot completely.

Okay.

It's to, like, be my friend, like, hang out with me. To, like, check in with me.

So how does that show up?

Oh, well, like, before, sometimes, if I'd call you and you're like, nah, I'll call you later. I'm busy. Right. Which. Which is fine if you're busy, but you would never call me back. You would never check, and we'd never, like, you'd come home with entitlement and like, where's my food? Like, that's that energy you give. You don't say it, then entertain me. That's how it feels. Instead of just like, oh, my God, it's so nice to see you. Like, how was your day? And actually listening instead of not listening or checking in his phone.

See? But now answer the actual question.

To be present.

Well, how does it make you just say it. No, it's your job to say it.

How does it make me feel? Good, obviously, like your best friend.

Okay, so it's a best. It's a best friend.

What happens? How do you know when I'm there?

Yeah, you're present. Okay, when he's present. What's happening when he's present with you? Like, what is he doing?

Asking me how I'm doing, how's my day? And actually listening.

You feel like he's actually engaged?

Yeah, Listening and interested. And then ask, like, questions back. Well, who? So what did I say? Oh, you know who I sell today? It was you guys. Yeah, he's like, who? Let me think. And he names off people at my other gym and stuff. Random people, you know, he's invested with me.

What about this? I go, it's got to be this person. No, not that person.

But he already knew if you're stressed, like, it works. So say December, you were stressed with, like, that. Is it hard to, like, turn that piece on? Because I noticed with Garrett, like, when he's stressed, I, like, I, I. I feel so bad that he's stressed, that I don't feel like I can demand his time that way, even though I need it. Like, you know what I mean? So it's like, when you're stressed, you have to make it as a guide. You have to make kind of like a more conscious effort to be like, hey, plug into your wife, you know?

Yeah. Well, I think it. Okay, so that's a really interesting position because you say how bad you'd like to be there to help him when he's going through it. Right. Well, most wives are pretty resentful when the guy is going through because he hasn't been very good. So they equate that time with him being an asshole. So a guy couldn't even come. I mean, every guy on planet Earth would want to hear what you just said.

Well, she's not exactly said this until.

The last couple months, but even like this last year, like, I used to get resentful and wall up.

Yeah.

And then I was like, that's not serving me. But I also felt like I couldn't ask for his time in these stressful moments.

So let me say how so. What? Yes, they feel that. But when we go through this, it's like, hey, as you're a teammate, I just want you to know my mind is really preoccupied on this. It's actually even has me a little nervous. So if you don't feel me on here, it's because I'm having to get really fine tooth combed over here. And it's like more like communicating and saying.

Exactly.

I got a burden on my left shoulder right now. I can't let it go. But I know you're super important to me. So if you're like best friends, you would say that to somebody. Yeah.

When you communicate to me your feelings, I'm like, I want to have grace on you. I'm like, do you want me draw you a bath? Do you need time alone?

Yeah.

Like, I want to serve. Then I want to help you. When? In your time.

But most men don't hear this.

Yeah.

So they're like, I can't even Share that. Because they're like, get it together. Fuck you. Blah, blah, blah. You're like, dude, okay, just so you know, I'm really fucking stressed, and it has nothing to do with you. And I'm acting like a dickhead towards you. So what do we do? Well, I just say I have to go do my breathing, maybe.

So go do your breathing.

Do your fucking breathing.

So there's a listening factor that opens up, a caring factor that opens up. For a lot of guys, it becomes difficult to care, particularly if it's been weeks and weeks of no sex. So they're trying to care. They're showing up for the kids. They're showing up and trying to be a partner, but there's not. There's no reciprocation coming back. Like, you two are in a very different place now as individuals in marriage and relationships. But it's something at least Keith I've gotten to watch happen with our guys. I watched happen with me too, which was really a lot of resentment for the guy's side, too, trying to put this together.

He's like, if I'm gonna give girls an easy button on this, like, just go have sex with your husband. Like, I know that. Like, it took me so long to learn that. And I was like, he's. Even if he's stressed, if it's been, like, 10 days or something, I'm like, I. I need to go help this man. Yeah, I need to go have sex with this man right now. Even though I'm disconnected and don't care. This is. He needs this. Like, sex is, like, oxygen for men. But it took me a long time. And so women get super resentful and, like, just go hit the easy button.

They can't think clearly with full balls.

They can't. They really can't. They cannot.

It's true. It's super true.

100% accurate. Full balls lead to not good thinking or anger.

Yeah, you'll be angry and even more disconnected to me. And then it's just this weird snowball that, like, you're like, how long are you gonna let this go on for? So for me, I'm like, how hard is it to go take him up to the bedroom?

You're there five minutes.

Yeah.

Literally, you want to make it work.

It was a decision you had to make, because being that I was the only guy you're with, but this.

Yeah, it took.

I mean, for 15 to 18 years. It wasn't like that.

I would say probably it was about five years ago when I was like, what If I just. Even though I'm angry and just. What if I. As soon as he gets home from this business trip, what if I just am like, hey, you, like.

Because the other way wasn't working. No.

I was like, yeah. I'm like, okay. And it seemed to take the edge off things and, like, soften them 100% did.

And if you notice. So you have this, like, flip side. It's like, you want these things out of your man. You want him to show up as a partner. You want him to show up as a parent. But if his balls are full and he's draining him, looking at pornhub and jerking himself off, and he's done this for months or weeks, which, again, I don't know if it's gotten to a place that doesn't fucking blow your mind anymore, but I listen to our guys at times share, and I'm like, how the fuck are you surviving in this little sex they're having? And how much they are felt. Made to feel so bad for wanting it. Like, they feel shameful. I went through it. Danielle's not the same woman she is now as she was. But, man, I went through 15 years of fucking guilt and shame and hell and what's wrong with you? You're a pervert. Why do you want sex so much? I mean, this is a different woman I'm with right now. But that was not the woman I was with before. So I would hear this the first time, be like, okay, let's just show up and do the kid thing. And then. And then show up and listen to her like I'm her girlfriend. Okay, okay, cool. And then am I going to get laid after that? So we can get women to actually flip the script on this and say, hey, I'm going to step across the line when he starts stepping across. And I'm saying this because we have hundreds and hundreds of couples will be listening to this show. And, ladies, some of you need to just fuck him.

Well, women need to understand that it's not like you're a pervert because you want sex. It's a connection for him. That's how he feels. Connected. It's the same way, like, we want the man to talk to us, to spend time with us, to listen to us. It's the same thing for men. So women have to change their mindset around sex, and it's for him to connect. But then ultimately, when you're doing it, you feel connected, too. Then he's gonna do the things. You're gonna do the things now you're just one up each other on love.

So, yeah, because you crossed the line for him, then he's gonna. Hopefully he's a decent guy. He's gonna be like, I actually want to be with my wife more now. Weird. I want to be with her because there's an open door to having more.

Sex and connection love.

If he doesn't as a woman, your side of the street. So clean, you can go, yo, hey, man, I just want you to understand, I feel like I'm trying to show up for you as full as possible to make you feel loved. I'm feeling a little neglected. And then you now have clouds. The same thing we talk about clean your side of the street, right? So that way you actually have a backbone and a leg to stand on me. Like, hey, yo. Like it becoming that person's huge. So, yeah, dude, the women you guys have got, you guys have. You do have the easy button in that regard. And then after you use it, stand up for yourself and draw a boundary and go, hey, man, I'm. Yeah, yeah. That's tough.

Guys will do that too.

I mean, I feel like that's what I did with you. And I, like, I was like, I showed up as a porn star the last couple years, like, I'm gonna need more from you. And that shifted like, kind of going into last year. And this year is like, I stressed I had to communicate to him. Like, I really feel like I'm crossing the line. Like, can you come over here a little bit? You know, it's a game of push and pull for sure.

Dial number three. We got parent, we got partner, dial producer K. Talk to me, make dough.

Like, have options. Have a drive, don't be broke, Be ambitious. Don't be a workaholic. And never. And say, I'm doing all this for you. But then you don't really. You're never there. I said that I'm doing all this. Yeah, you're like, you're never here, so you ain't doing it for us. It's. It's this mentality. Nobody wants to go on a train to nowhere. This is just a basic principle of attraction, you know, so it's. It's a guy that's driven and he has. He's on offense, he's not on defense. He's moving his life forward. Like I always say. Like, they don't. A lady doesn't want to be in cloth seat Corollas and one room bedroom apartments forever.

Mm.

They want to be going somewhere.

Yeah.

Even if you're Broke or even if you've lost shit, you drive. The drive and the ambition is like, that's. That's sexy. So most guys can nail that. Like, the entrepreneurs and business guys we talked to, they've pretty much all nailed the money piece to some degree, but that actually agitates the getting laid piece even more because they're like, dude, I'm powerfully showing up in this arena, and people listen to me, and clearly I'm valuable. I'm valuable because I got money in my account. When I come home, I got no money in that account, so I must be a valueless piece of shit. And then the whole thing switches, and it just becomes a fucking and cesspool to nowhere.

Yeah. So you guys have gone through. I mean, we've gone through the moments of. We had two, three years that were just chaos after the first building of the companies and then the loss of everything. And I look back, too, of, like, the lack of attraction, that it would be really tough as a woman to be attracted to a man that's not paying the bills or this modern thing of splitting the bills. I'm gonna pay half, you pay half kind of game. So, like, how, like, if a guy's in this place and he's not getting it done, is it the. Is it the money that's the thing? Or is it the energy around the producer? Like, when I'm. When I'm. When I'm crushing in the game of business or I'm crushing in the game of money, there's definitely an energy attitude for me.

Like, when we lost everything, that's how we were exposed of the lack of connection inside of our relationship. I was like, all the money's gone. There's. There's nothing there. And not only that, now I'm, like, kind of repulsed. And my. My trust has been fractured. I'm like. Because I don't even feel safe anymore. So it was like, that was where I was like, I don't even. I don't want to have sex with you. You took out the safety blanket, and we're not even connected anyways.

It's a hard place, man. It's a hard place to go. Like, there's guys that come to us, and I'll let me before Mary game. And I would say, you know, I'm not having sex with my wife. And she's this and this and this. And I'll ask them two questions. Like, number one, is your wife produce? And they'll say, yeah. And I was like, does she make more than you? And I was like, yeah. And I'm like, you're kind of fucked. I don't really know what the answer is for that one. Because if you're a woman, you control sex, control the money, you control the baby making, meaning you dominate in those areas. It's gotta be difficult to step down from that place to a man who produces less. And we watch this happen in the hair industry all the time with our girls that rise up and make 2, 3, 400,000 a year and their husbands are blue collar workers, are making 90.

80, 000 a year. Yeah, but think about it. If, like they're getting all this time and attention from their husband and love, like, there's some women like that, they're like, that's good. That's what I want. It's like, it's like if a guy is a super producing guy and he's getting sex all the time, he's like, all right. Or, you know, connecting or whatever it is. So it's like you don't. We don't know what it's necessarily like, but it's not to say it couldn't work. It's about if that person's needs are getting met.

Is withholding sex the same as not making money? Like, if a woman's withholding sex, is it equal to a guy not being able to pay the bills? Like, if a guy's paying the bills but she's withholding sex, is that not the exact same shit as a guy who's not paying the bills?

Well, I think Danielle said it is. Like, if you're hitting what she needs, I mean, everyone's different.

Yeah.

So that's what I think.

But I agree with you on the whole drive thing. Like. Like when I married Garrett, it's not that he had money, but I saw the, like, who he could become. And I think a lot of women, they, in their partner, they like, they push them because, like, you can become more. Like they want to be their cheerleader.

Yeah. So I see so much potential.

Yeah, yeah. Like, I see this potential. So I think it's like, that's what was attracted to me and you. And when we were dating is I was like, you had no money. But I was like, it's a. We always joke around. I'm like, like, I invested in penny stocks and it really took off, you know?

Well, you think it's also a confirmation bias too, that if you, if you are rooting us on and we become those things, what does that say about you?

I think it's the Wife's job to. To be that cheerleader. I think she should push the potential out of her man. I think she should, like, never feel bad for wanting him to rise. I think there's a more graceful way of doing it. So you don't sound like a naggy bitch, but. But I think that we see who our men can become, and you just have to be careful with how you communicate that so they don't feel like you're putting them down in any way.

Definitely.

Yeah.

Just gotta suck that potential right out of it.

Yeah. I was raised by Grandpa George. Yacky dude. There's no woman's ever paying for around me. It's just not happening.

I'll tell you who you've always been.

I've always been that. It don't matter. Yeah. It's on me. Let's go.

Gen X, dude. It's like our world, bro.

I think. I think, yeah, we took. We. This generation that we're from, we took some of, like, that tough energy, like our grandpas were in World War II. And you know what I mean? Like, you know, man up, rub some dirt in it. You're gonna be fine.

Yeah.

Mentality. But. But also, we were kind of going, yeah, but we also see what the beautiful women look like, and we want to fuck those ones. So how do we also not just be this guy, but be this guy? So it's like this blending of this generation. No one's paying for us. Come on, man. Stop.

Stop it.

Yeah.

That's why I was interested. Daniel had the talk with Parker about splitting bills with Taylor.

I was like, do you know how much that's, like, such a turn off. I was like, even if you can split the bills, like, you pay the bills, like her money, like, you should pay the bills, don't expect her to pay it.

You know, it just sets a precedent for a man to be like, I am the provider. Yeah.

Yeah.

So that's third dial. You got to produce.

What's fourth one?

Fourth dial is this one where a lot of guys really jack it up and don't do very good. It's the play player, dial player. And it's. And you know, to quote the great American poet Cyndi Lauper, girls just want to have fun. So in my quest of feeling all my insecurities and trying to show myself I was worth something, I had sex with hundreds of women. Learning how does this all work and becoming the player. So that's actually how I landed Jesse. And then I forgot that's how you keep them. So this this playfulness is, hey, be attractive. Be in shape. Have something going for you. Be fun. Create fun environments. Do fun things. Go on dates. I mean, appropriately. This podcast. Date your wife. Like, it's so simple. Just go on dates that if you were gonna go on a date right now with some chick off of Bumble, where would you go? What would you do? How would you show up? Well, take your wife on that same date and do it a lot and have fun and flirt and bust each other's balls a little bit. Pull his wenis and pull his wenness. You know, those things silly.

Be cute, Be feminine.

Have fun and playful. A player isn't defensive.

Yeah. It's like when people get divorced and all of a sudden they lose all this weight and get all sexy, and you're like, where was this guy?

Yeah, exactly.

Why can't he be married and still be sexy?

Yeah, exactly.

So the player one, if you were describing Jesse, what's the player then? Like, if he's showing up as a player, particularly on parent, I'm clear on partner. I'm clear on producer. How does player show up for you?

Like, I like when we joke a lot, and he'll say jokes like, I don't know. I can't think of, like, you're not wearing that, are you? Or, you know, like, that's a player to me. Even though I know we have a relationship of 12 years, we still mess around like that all the time. So we go out dancing, and I'll, like, walk by him and, you know, all that kind of sassiness, like, bring that into your relationship. That's like a player for me. I like to do that to him.

It's like, flirt. Learn to flirt.

Yeah.

I think women stop flirting.

Yes.

And you're like. Like, that was one thing I had to work on. He would say something, like, derogatory, and I'd be like, and now I'm like, yeah, I want to do that. Yeah. Like, if you're dating. He said that? Even if I was like, ew. Why did he say that? I still responding. Like, you know, I want to do that.

Yeah, exactly.

So it's like you have to kind of go into this, like, flirty mode when you're married to kind of keep it light and fun, like you said.

He's like, can you pass me the ketchup? I'm like, you're a ketchup? I literally do all the time. Yeah. I just mess around all the time.

I realized after Gary, like, Gary used to always come in the kitchen and Grab my ass. And I was like, maybe I should just start coming in the kitchen and grab his ass.

I credit card him all the time. That's the flirting. That's the connection. That's the touching all throughout the whole day that keeps it going.

And this is player.

That's what I think.

It's. It's. It's. There's a concept we call it says, fun is the fountainhead.

Okay.

Meaning, like, remember when Jesus said, you know, seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added unto you? It's like, there's this one thing, and then everything will kind of come from back it. That's this one. Fun is the fountainhead. If you figure out fun, everything. Everything you want in a relationship is past that.

Yeah.

Because people having fun. That's why people were dating, Man. When she got on her first date, telling her mom, she wasn't like, dude, I can't wait to go hang out with this guy and have a really bad time.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's like, this is gonna be fun.

Yeah.

Every time you meet something that was fun, oh, this is fun. Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun. It's what.

And you talk about it all the next day, how much fun you had.

Yeah. So it's like, people forget that that's what drew you guys together. And sex is the ultimate playfulness. It's the ultimate vulnerability. It's the ultimate opposite. It's. It's this, like, hey, you're gonna see a face that. Only this face happens when I do this. And guess what? It may look silly.

Oh, yeah.

And I don't care, because I like it. Do you know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

Like, that's really vulnerable, but that's what laughing. Laughing is involuntary. You can't stop laughing when you're laughing. It just happens. So people that laugh together, it means that they're the exact opposite of the spectrum of being in a trauma. Trauma and laughter are the exact opposites. So when you're laughing with somebody, you're joking, you're giggling, you're like, it's free.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's the player, man.

You getting this one?

Am I the player?

No. Are you getting this one?

Am I getting this?

Yeah. Are you getting this one? Is this one making sense to you?

Player.

Is Garrett a player?

I have to remind Garrett to be a player by being very flirty, because I think he's actually more rigid than me. Like, I think I'm a lot more fun, to be honest. And so I have to, like, I have to kind of be flirty. And, like, there's. Sometimes I have to just, like, flash him for no reason because he gets. He gets so in his head. And I'm like, hey, boobies.

Yeah, I literally did that before here, too.

But it's funny. Like, it's. It's. Yeah, like the. I think that women have to play the game, too. We have to continue to. I would say let's call it player and flirt. I was going to say another word, but let's say player and flirt.

Player and pussy.

No, I was gonna say player and slutty.

Player and friendship, too.

Yeah, like, have fun. I'm like. I think it goes both ways. You gotta be the player and the girl's gotta be feminine and flirty. Even inside. Even inside of marriage. And it can happen daily. Like, you said you could walk by each other and be, like, stressed out, but, like, say something funny. Yeah, I'm gonna see you later tonight. You know? And it makes it light. You're like. You're like. It's just fun.

Final dial, number five.

Well, on the player dial, back to the dating thing. Most guys, they really water this one down. They do the. Hey, let's go by the Home Depot, pick up some parts and swing by Chick Fil A. Like that. Like, that's a date. And your level of date will probably tell you the level of your sex life. I mean, it's almost a perfect indicator.

So don't go to Home Depot.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know what I mean. Just to get. Just to get the carpenter bags and a helmet and then come home with that.

Or Target.

Yeah, just that.

Hey, that was fun.

Yeah, it is. Going and doing regular stuff. Those used to be dates in the beginning.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So those are fun. The last one is power dial. The power dial. This is that dial where we were talking earlier about. A lot of guys lose their masculinity. They only have an opinion that they think their wife might agree with. Handlebar mustache, for example, to bring. Too soon. Remember 4th of July and I had my beautiful must and Jesse hated it, but I knew I looked beautiful in it. And what did you say on the way out?

I don't remember.

You don't you? Maybe. Susan. I was talking to Susan. But you said, I respect it.

Oh, yeah, Yeah.

I like it. You do you, Keith?

Yeah. So that definitely does.

The power dial is this. We ask guys to ask four questions at the end of the day to see are they staying in their power or are they looking for validation from their wife and wife alone. But the overarching principle is do what you say you're gonna do when you say you're gonna do it without fault. And the famous story that we always share is back when she asked me to hang this painting in the wall we moved in the San Clemente house. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'll get to it. Yeah, yeah, I'll get to it. Three weeks later, I'm not trying to be a nag. We hear, yeah, yeah, I'll get to it. Three weeks later, she's like, all right, motherfucker. Like, I've asked you. And it took me, like, all of 30 minutes at that. You know what I mean? It was like, well, she couldn't trust my word. So we talk about when the lust goes down, the trust goes down. That's what we're talking about. She's like, I can't trust that you do what the fuck you say you're going to do. So a man in this power does what he says he's gonna do.

I like that because I feel like, as a woman, like, we don't want to be naggy.

Right?

Like, and then we're gonna hang the damn painting ourselves and then be for sure.

Yeah.

That's the cycle. Like, the woman becoming masculine, overpowering, and talking down to.

Yeah. You're like, say. Do what you're gonna say.

Yeah. So the questions we ask ourselves is like, hey, did you do your personal development for yourself or for her? Because if. Dude, if we're doing stuff to, like, get. Get our wife's approval, that's like us asking for our mom's approval.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And moms don't want to have sex with their kids. Right? So we've got. And then. Oh, and then. Did you get butt hurt if she didn't notice? Like, you know what I mean? Like, that's so. That's such weak stuff.

It's like, pouty.

Yeah. The other one. Did you do not ask for sex out of fear of rejection. And if you did get rejected, did you become a pouty little bitch?

Yeah.

Which. Dude, there's King pouty and king pouty, too, right here for years. You know what I'm saying?

Yep.

That's. And every guy seems to resonate with that line almost more than any other line, is when they get rejected, they act like pouty, passive aggressive, little.

Yeah, that's the first thing they change. And they're like, I wasn't pouty.

They go, oh, my God.

How.

How did I not see that?

So I have to share this, because one of the things I was so turned off by Garrett in this pouty behavior for so many years. Like, just physically, like, turned off. And so I made this might help the ladies, but I made it. I said for, like, years. I said, I will never turn this man down unless I'm, like, throwing up or sleep. Like, I will never turn him down. Not only that, I'm going to be the instigator. And guess what went away. I mean, it wasn't, like, completely away, but he was way less pouty. And in turn, I was more attracted to him. So I was like, wow. Easy button.

Wow, look at you. You guys.

Easy button. A tip, too. I don't say no. I never say the word no, because that doesn't feel good. I say yes. Tomorrow is tomorrow. Okay? I give, like, a rain check, and then I put a date to it. Like, can you meet me in the morning? That would be best for you. And he's like, oh, no problem.

Yeah.

Yeah, that helps.

Not that behavior you two are talking about. That behavior is not normal. Right? So the guys get into a challenging place, which is why a lot of these men have to make a decision, which is, I'm gonna move towards this relationship of my dreams, and I'm gonna invite my wife to come along with me, but I cannot force her to come along with me, because this was a really hard thing for me to be into, was because, like, again, I love hearing this woman now and who she is now. This is not the woman I was married to for 15 years.

And you, like, weren't the man in turn, for sure. But I realized as a woman, I'm like, if I. If I want him to be the man, then I got to show up as the woman. I can't just expect him to show up this way if I'm not showing up that way. So I almost feel like we created each other. You know what I mean? Like, he created the woman he wanted, and I created the man that I wanted.

Well, that's. You guys are the mirror of each other. It's what relationship.

Good job, Dan.

Sweaty Dan.

Dirty Dan.

Dirty music.

Yeah, dude. It's the most frustrating thing for a guy, especially the guys that we talk to. The entrepreneur dude making dough feels powerful in his realm in business, and he comes home, and he feels like he's now the employee, and he's, like, waiting out on the outside of the sliding glass door, hoping the door's let in and he can get in from the rain. And so it puts this guy in this really fucking disempowered position that his wife's looking at him. She's going, look at this little pouty bitch. I don't. And so it's like, it just keeps circling down, circling down, dude. The guy has to change this and let her PTSD run its course because she's not used to a guy when this happens all the time. As soon as these guys start acting this way, she starts giving a pushback.

She'll get angry. It's frustrating. You're like, why now? Or he. He. You're doing this for him or what? Are you just doing this Mary game because the coach.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's like, this resentment, and then all.

Of a sudden, she's like, you know what?

Maybe I do like this version.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

But the guy has to have enough. Enough courage to, like, hey, give it more time. Yeah, give it more time. Until, like, there's. I'm sure there's a breaking point where you're like, move on, bro. Yeah, like, she's. She. You can't keep pulling her like this.

You know what the biggest question we get is? When is that time? I have the answer.

I know.

I'm 100, right.

I'll give you the answer. I'm 100 right every time. So for you guys, if you guys are putting money on this, you're gonna be right. When the guy gets to the point where he's finally okay with it.

Oh, like, leaving her if he can.

Go, you know what? I did everything I could.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I tried everything. I'm following the science. I'm following the art. I'm following what attractive means, and he knows it. So that's. He can only get to the. Okay. He has to go through that journey before he can even get that piece. But once he gets that piece, that's where I had to get before I got her back.

Yeah.

I knew I had one move. Move on. Or if you want to move on, you got to move on. If you want to get it back, you got to move on. So I had to be go, all right, man, you fucked up. You pushed away the coolest chick you've ever met and can't wait to see the next one's gonna come around because you're not gonna be that fucking guy ever again.

Is it fair for the guy then when he reaches that peaceful point of, like, I'm in too much pain that I must move on. I can't keep dragging you. I feel like it's also. Has to be like, I am. I'm serious. I am leaving now. Is it too late at that point? Do you know what I mean?

No, because.

Because I feel like there's been situations where probably, like, when you left him and then you came back and you did change. Right. So I'm just saying, like, it's. I think it's important if the guy is at that point in his relationship, he needs to say. Say this is. How crucial this is. If you don't come with me, I'm not necessarily threatening divorce, but I have to move on. I would love for you to come with me.

That's our line.

Yeah, but this is. This is on the line right now. This is on the line. So you're. Because then it puts it in the wife's court. You're like, you have a choice. And I've communicated, and I've done everything I know to do.

Yeah.

I think men or women should be more honest.

But that's the line. And. And Garrett, I don't know if you gave it to me or if we just come up with it surfing or what, but the line is, the biggest hope in all of this is any guy listening can get and will get the sex life that he wants. And he hopes it's with his current wife, but the guy we talk to, it's either elite or fucking nothing. So it's either you rising with this, and sex is gonna become playful, and I'm gonna be wanted again, because that's what men want. They want to be wanted. It. Or, sorry, I'll do everything I can to help you to get us there, but if you can't breathe that oxygen, you don't get me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And that's. That's why we call it leaving is the leverage. Because they either got to go, well, fuck, I better level up or I'm off the team.

Yeah. Yeah.

And a lot of people hate.

They don't like Christians hate when we.

Say this, but they should go read a little more Jesus's words because he has a lot to say about it.

Well, there's no. People will suffer in relationships for life based on a premise that I can't ever leave. It's one of the first questions I'll ask guys before we send a merry gamer. They'll come in and be like, he'll tell me about. I mean, just situations you never believe. Like, you would never. You see this couple walking through, you know, at a party or at the beach, you would never think, oh, wow, those guys are having sex every three months. But you would never think this because you're looking at good looking people.

They tolerate it.

Probably having sex like, you know, every. Every other night, couple times a week. Probably fucking amazing new complete opposite. And so I ask him, I'll ask him a question. I get, okay, is this sex issue a divorceable event for you? Meaning if it does, I'm not saying tomorrow, I'm not saying next week. But if it doesn't turn around, are you committed to spending the next 30 to 40 years of your life in a sexless relationship, knowing who you are, what you were capable of, and what you've created in life? Are you okay with this? Are you okay to put your dick in a drawer, put your balls in a drawer and be done? Are you okay with that? If you are, I can't help you. If you're not, well, then we can do something. And that was like, I've only had one guy ever answer the question saying no. And I literally told him, then I can't help you.

Yeah.

He's like, whoa, no, there's gotta be a way. I was like, there is a way. And that was when your lines would come up, which was leverage. Just in the league.

He didn't want to do the work. He'd rather just not have sex.

It's not that. It just. He wouldn't even be open to the idea. He was Catholic. He's like, I won't be open to the idea of divorce. We're going to be in it forever. And I was like, cool, then you have no leverage on this woman in getting her to move. Right. Your leverage on Keith was the fear of loss. My leverage on Danielle, fear of loss back in 2016, her leverage on me in 2023, losing her. Right. So there's like, there's this fear of loss, of, okay, shit, if I don't change, this relationship is over. I can't just keep playing this down the middle. It's not going to work. And that takes a lot of courage to leave. Takes a lot of courage to collide. It takes a lot of courage to make that decision, regardless of whether it was a man or woman. But this is why the dynamic of marriage is such a wild fucking sport. Because, like, to have people actually genuinely, passionately in love with each other and on fire and growing, that. That formula is changing every single fucking always.

You're working on it.

It's all the time.

That's a really good point.

So, final thoughts. You wrap up for today's show.

What's one of your favorite concepts out of the Bible, it's be fruitful and multiply.

Right?

That's. That's the. The order from above.

They're good at that.

Be fruitful. Yeah, I used to think that was one of the same thing. Be fruitful by multiplying. But now I realize it's not. It's one directive. Be fruitful. That's the directive. Be fruitful and multiply. Like, be a fruitful human being and then multiply. Make more fruitful human beings.

Yeah, yeah.

That's what Jesus said. Go out and make more disciples baptizing them. Right. Go make more leaders. And so when you look at, like, what we're talking about, it's like, how can you have a fruitful life if the person that's your best friend, the only person you're having sex with, and you guys fucking hate each other. That's why, like, people resonate with the message so much because guys are like, dude, this is not what I fucking signed up for. I thought I was getting blowjobs on tap. And I haven't got a blow job for fucking when?

10 years.

And my wife, even when she doesn't, doesn't even want to do it.

Yeah.

So they're driven to porn because they want to actually see what does it look like for a woman to really be enjoying this?

You know, most guys actually really enjoy porn because I love the I. Why most men I've talked to watch porn if they get honest. Honest, Honest. Yes. The jerk off. Yes. It's sexual exploration. It's really the feeling of being desired. Even if these girls are fucking faking, the feeling of being desired by a woman as a man eclipses like, orgasms, blowjobs, threesomes. It's the desire of I am a desirable man that turns him on more than anything.

Crazy. Crazy good.

Because they don't feel desired at home at all.

And yet it's everything. You say, do the fucking work. You can't become desirable unless you do all this beautiful work to find out what is desirable and become it. Like, it's just.

You don't get it.

It's. That's. I think that's what we're turning around.

Yeah.

We're just saying, hey, you like having money? Cool. You had to do work for it. You like having abs, cool. You had to do work for it. You like having relationship with your kids that are meaningful, cool. You had to do work for. You don't think you're gonna have to work for the greatest. The greatest thing that a man will give up everything for. That feeling of being desired and sticking his penis in a vagina. You don't think that it might take a little effort to make sure that that thing tastes as sweet as possible forever? What the fuck? Of course it does. It's like, I think we're just. We're bringing K through 12 fucking understanding back to marriage again. You don't sow, you ain't gonna reap double.

It needs to happen, though. Like, we were talking about, like, culturally, how we were raised, and I'm like, it's a new game.

Yeah.

And the standard has to be raised, like, for human beings in general.

Yeah.

Like, it just does to keep families together to, like, really continue to multiply. Like, most marriages end in divorce. Like, literally. It's like, how do you keep. How do you keep them together and on fire.

Yeah.

I have a real hard time believing that a couple that's living the $5 live, no worries, way. And frequently like this. This doesn't turn into chaos.

It gets better.

It turns into greatness. It's like prosperity on tap.

Yeah. You can a whore. You can a soul. I want the soul.

Yeah. Find the hole. But does it fill your soul?

Yeah, it's a perfect way.

Hey, we're on a roll. We're having a good time.

We're having a good time.

The bottom line is this. Just so we could close it out before you close it out. Listen, the bottom line is this. Welcome to the day your wife show this problem Garrett's been talking about for ever. And I used to hear him talking about this before I fixed this problem in our life, not knowing that I knew the tools to fix it. So big props to this guy. Big props to you for helping me awaken in this and seeing this, because I had no idea that there was so much information we had that was just so stupid practical that it would actually heal people. So we're having a good time. Like, we really are having a good time. Because we go, yeah, the shit we do, it actually works. So laugh at it. Don't use it. Go talk to your pastor. But if you just do it.

Yeah.

Yeah, it works.

Jesse, final thoughts for today.

No. Love you guys. You said it.

We do. Love you guys. You guys are cool, man.

We had lots of thoughts then.

Dan.

Sweaty Dan.

First off, it's Danielle.

Okay, Danielle. I don't know where the Dan came from.

I think this is good. I feel like this would be cool because. Because of what you guys are teaching, and I know you guys are kind of partnering up to do something like every other Month. Have you guys come in? Because these are like really good teaching principles to help couples. And it's free. They can go listen to it on Spotify and share it with their friends. So I think we delivered a ton of really good content and value for both the man and. And I think it's so needed in today's world. And if you can help the marriages stay together, you're going to bring up just really powerful children.

Yes.

Amen.

Yes.

So a couple things to check out. We got the Married Game podcast available on all of the major platforms. You can check that every week with Keith and with co star guest Jesse, who shows up every couple weeks onto that show. He does have programs with Merry Game. We have sent hundreds of men from Wake Up Warrior to those programs and we are now moving and making positional moves to send thousand. So if you're a guy and you're trying to figure this game out and you've been listening to Date White podcast, and for whatever reason, the shit we've been saying has not been connecting, but now it's connecting well, you know where to go. Check it out@marygame.com where you can set up a consultation, have a conversation with Coach Keith, and I can promise you this is the guy in my corner. He's in my corner right now. Danielle doesn't even know he's in my corner right now, but I'm getting play by play, which has been working out fucking fantastic. So if you want to know who's the guy that helps coach this guy on his sex game, well, it'll be coach Keith Yackee and his sidekick, Jesse. Both of them are the two double forces of fury helping me get my mind right, my words right, my script right, my concept's right, my frames right, so that I can love this woman the way she deserves to be loved. So check it out. Marygame.com and again, we've got a free trial available for every single one of you who are here on the show listening. If you're interested in learning the warriors way, which is what Coach Keith teaches and I teach and so many others are teaching at the backbone of all of their coaching programs, which are predictable power and systematic ways of striking and creating life the way you want it, I'd love to give you 30 days for free. Get the Warrior app, pick up all of our coursework, our curriculum, all of our books, and also participate in four weeks of calls with us live and get the coaching you need to get off the ground that is free. You can find that@warrior launch.com. my friends, thank you so much for being here. We love you, too. Thank you for being on the show today. And that's it.

That's it. It's a wrap.

That's a wrap.

Keep crushing it. That shit's contagious.