Don't Have the Baby in the Theater! | Date Your Wife | EP 076

Hello and welcome to the date your wife podcast. I'm here with my husband and co host, Mr. Is that a burp or a growl? You're like caveman edition. Just, just grunt and we know you're here. So this is Garrett. You're not seeing us because our videos are not working. We switched to a new patio. A new patio, A new podcast studio. Jesus. And so you're just getting the recording of us. And to be honest, I'm so pregnant, I'm like, don't even want to be on a camera right now. I'm like, listen, I'm on the home stretch. Four weeks left. And then.

How's this feel? How does it feel knowing you have four weeks left? Like, literally this morning, you look. You had a look of I might die. It wasn't a look of die. It was a look of like, I. I just want to be done with this.

I think it's. I think that's literally. I remember with every baby, and I don't remember a lot with each pregnancy because there's this eight year gap, but I remember the last three to four weeks is like a lifetime. You're literally counting the days. It's funny, I talked to Jeff. Who? Garret. It's somebody who works with Garrett. Jeff, or what is he? What is his title?

He's TF up.

Okay.

Only slightly sick.

His wife is pregnant too, and she's due like a week before me. And I'm like, is your wife. Is she hating life as well? He's like, she's literally counting the days. I'm like, I know I am. It's just like, we went to a movie.

What's that? Like, like, seriously, like, like, I'm sorry. Go ahead, tell about the movie.

Oh, God. So, like, basically, date nights. I'm like, yeah, let's go grab a quick bite and, like, go. There's a Synopolis by our house, and it's like a luxury cinema where you can, like, look, recline the chairs, like, you bring you a blanket. It's great. So I'm like, literally, date night consists of, like, dinner and a movie. And I walk into the theater and I'm pretty sure I'm like, waddling at this point. And the guy looks at me and he's like, oh, almost there. And I'm like, yep. And he's like, don't have the baby in the theater. And I'm like, should I kick you in the nuts now or later? I'm sorry, but when you're in the home stretch, if you're a dude or a girl. Like, please do not say you do any day. Don't have a baby in the theater. Like, fuck off. Like, I'm. Am I that big? Am I waddling that much? Like, come on. I mean, I still left. It's not like I'm due tomorrow. So I was like, technically, that's another.

Two pounds of baby growth.

I don't know.

That's what they say. That's another. You could like, literally, you, you. Like I said, your mind went to a place. It was very dark there for a moment. When I said that the baby would get one more pound or two more pounds bigger.

I can't. Like, so when you're pregnant, like, and you get it bigger, you. I have the worst acid reflux and I can't breathe to the point to where it's like making me nauseous. Like, I ate a piece of licorice the other day and I'm like, oh, it's coming back up. And I'm like, that's so gross. But when the baby finally starts to drop, which my babies don't drop till.

The last week, what does this mean? Drop?

Like literally.

Like, it goes from the top down to the bottom.

You can tell when a woman's like getting.

And then it's very low.

And then I'll joke around. I was joking around with Katie who works for me, and she just had a baby and like her last couple weeks, she's like, oh my God. I feel like I sit down and my baby's head hits the chair. And I was like, I think you've dropped. Like that's when you've dropped. Like you're, you're, you start to dilate and your body, like the baby physically drops and it's uncomfortable to the point where you feel like the baby's gonna fall out, but they're not really. But in the nice part about it is like you can kind of breathe.

A little bit more. The pressure away from the diaphragm. Yeah.

You have just a little more room up there. So. Yeah.

So you weren't happy when, when the old guy at the theater made the comment.

I just find every pregnancy, like, you always get those comments and they're always by like middle aged dudes.

And you're like, he is a matt, middle age. He's like 60.

I don't even give a shit. Don't ever, ever ask a girl you do any day. Like, don't ever. Don't have the baby in the theater. Ha ha ha. I'm like, How. How many months are you, sir? Oh, okay, then.

I think. I think the hard part. Is it that, like, for a guy, you just. You just don't know what to.

Don't say anything.

It's hard to not say anything if you don't.

Didn't your mom teach you if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all?

I think they think they're saying something nice.

No, they can't.

Like, oh, don't have the baby in the theater thinking that's going to be funny. Not recognizing that you say anything. You want to kick them in the balls, but they know you can't kick them in the balls because you have that kind of flexibility.

When you're pregnant, the only thing you can say to a pregnant girl is like, how are you feeling? Looks great. You're almost there. Like, that's appropriate.

It's what I say.

You look at me with these longing eyes of, like, pain.

You're like, I do?

Yeah, I do. Yeah. Like, yeah.

I'm trying to.

You're trying to be supportive, but you look like you. You look almost like. It's like. I know. You're not trying to look disgusted. You're more like, I'm not disgusted.

No, you're.

You're like. You're definitely, like, concerned. Concerned. But your face is like. And you guys can't see me, but your face is like. Your eyes. Your brow kind of furrows, and you're like, oh, that looks so awful. Are you okay? But you don't say, that looks so awful. But your face looks like that.

My face does that? Yeah. It's the furrowing.

Yeah.

I didn't even know you knew that word. Furrowing. Don't furrow.

Furrow your brow.

How long have you known this word? Furrowing of the brow? Is this even a thing? What the fuck is this word mean?

I don't know. I'm trying to give. They don't have a visual, so I'm.

Trying to give it a good. It was a good painted word.

Furrowing at the brow. Don't do that. I'm gonna write a book called appropriate etiquette for a pregnant lady.

Got it. And I'm gonna write a book called what to expect when you're expecting. Penis edition. Yeah.

It's less.

Yep. Between the two of us, we're both gonna have quality books about pregnancy, I think. Seriously. I keep saying this. For months I've been saying this. I'm gonna write this book, what to expect when you're expecting Penis Edition? The more I talk about this topic, the more I. And you know what? This is the window. Because if I was ever to do it, it's got to happen now. Because I believe this will be our last.

Yeah, I'm done.

I mean, I. I can't foresee you taking this on again. No, I mean, and like, for me, I. Inside the book, what to expect when you're expecting Penis edition, which I'll probably get sued because of the title, which I'm gonna change the title. And I'm sure they wouldn't go for Penis Edition, like as one of the versions of the collection.

Like, it would be like a four page book. I mean, how much do you need to write?

Oh, no, it wouldn't be four page. Like, there's so many topics.

Day one, my wife was too sick to have sex with me.

No, it's like, it's like chapter three.

Is still too sick.

Yeah, it's chapter three, erection in the desert. And you're still.

You know, it's so funny. You know, it's so funny. Is like, I even like when you're really further along being pregnant, it's like sex is weird because your husband feels like, are you okay? Is this gonna be okay?

So it's like, yeah, I don't want to hurt you.

You're not gonna.

I do notice I suck my abs in too. So like, I kind of do notice that. Oh, you do?

I literally was like, I'm at an all time low. I'm gonna really have to just go in it for me this time.

Well, I was sucking my abs in to try to make room for the baby.

That's weird. Please don't do that. What not to do with your wife.

No, I'm gonna call this the kind. I'm gonna call it create the cave, which is like the AB technique, which means you have to be a fit guy to be able to go introverted with your core. So I went introverted for a pocket for the baby. I noticed that.

And I was like, why is he sucking in? I'm not. Am I that big? It's not going to hurt the baby like so bad.

You notice?

I noticed. I was like, why is he sucking in? Please don't concave to form to the shape of the baby. Now I'm thinking about having sex with a baby in me and it's just gotten weird.

I was like, I thought I was offering a support, like a snoogle, you know, like a pillow you sleep in at night. I was Like, I'm gonna offer up a snuggle belly edition while she's having sex with me.

If, like, if it's normal to. Do you think? I, I think a lot of couples just don't have sex the last month.

Like, oh, I mean, we've had sex once in like six weeks or something. I know, and I, you know what? And I remember like Sam and a few other people like in the last couple, like the last quarter. Men are close to me that I know that have babies in the last couple years. And I remember him telling me the last couple of months, they're like, I'm like, bro, how's sex life? He's like, zero, son, zero. No sex happening. I was like, are you upset about that? He's like, no, man. It's like weird territory.

I think it's just awkward.

Awkward extraterrestrial territory. Listen, I was just trying to offer up my version of support, which was creating a nice cradle for the baby in my abs.

I was like, okay, well I'm telling.

You right now, the abs in then.

I'm telling you right now, I'm like, oh, God, he's thinking about hurting the baby. This is already awkward, so stop.

Yeah, no, I was more like not worried about hurting the baby as I was like trying to create comfort for you. But it obviously it's fine. Fucked your head up and mine.

Just lay there and let me do my job.

All right, well, you did. You did a great job with my concave belly. Okay, let's move on to another topic though. Another topic we have going on right now is our child. Another child.

No, we. That's not what we were going to talk about. We were going to talk about feedback between spouse.

Well, that's good. We'll use her as part of the topic Inside a feedback from spouse. So you and I gave a little speech. You saw it on a story. I was running an event recently called Big Money Marketer. It was our first marketing only event. We're only doing it once now. It's going to be a home study course. You'll be able to find out more at Big Money Marketer in July. Well, actually first of August we releasing that homesteading course. It took us two months to build this out and we just finalized it here with a three day event. It was amazing. But Parker was running my social media during that and he had my phone, he did some stories. You saw a clip that inspired this topic off your head.

I was just like, I always feel like you make me sound like I'm Some kind of demon or, like, I'm so not, like, kind of feisty, which you are feisty. I feel like I'm very sweet.

I feel like you're very sweet.

Super easy going.

In your own mind, you're sweet. No, to yourself, in your mind. You have this filter that says I'm sweet.

I am.

I would say you're not sweet.

Really?

Yeah. I don't think you're very sweet.

I think I'm very sweet.

Well, I think your definition is sweet. And what's very sweet?

Okay, maybe not sweet. Maybe like easygoing. When I think of patient, tolerant, those are better words.

No, I don't think you're patient or tolerant.

Oh, my God. I think I'm very.

No, I think you're none of those. Like, when I imagine patient, tolerant and sweet, I think I think of a woman who's, like, from Alabama or from, like, you know, the Midwest, like Nebraska. And she, like, makes cornbread. She makes some cupcakes.

Are you thinking of, like, Rosie or nanny?

No, I'm not thinking about Rosie. Rosie cannot cook. Rosie cannot cook to save her life at all. I was very disappointed. Speaking about disappointed, I was very disappointed about this. Like, she probably listens to the podcast and I love her, except for the fact that she is not a great cook.

I think you were stereotyping because she.

I was completely. Because she. I was racist about it.

I'm not gonna lie.

I was like, she's a happy, amazing, beautiful Mexican woman. I am guaranteeing we're gonna get.

You were thinking homemade carne asada every night. Ye.

I mean, I got Johan here in studio. Johan, like, honestly, come over here by the microphone really quickly. He's here running this. I'm going to ask Johan, because Johan is Mexican. And Johan, is this a faulty assumption that a sweet, kind woman in her 50s, Mexican woman, typically, can they cook great Mexican food? Yes or no? Yeah. Come into the mic. Yes. Oh. Will you verify that you are Mexican? Yes. Will you verify that you appreciate great Mexican food? Hell yeah, I do. Dude. I live in Southern California like you love. If you live in Southern California, you love Mexican food. It's like. It's like half the food we eat. I love every ounce of it. But I'm not gonna lie. I was. I. I had high expectations.

Maybe I should. You know what? Maybe I need to just tell her to do her thing. Like, I just be like, hey, whatever your favorite dishes are, can you make them? I think she's worried about disappointing us or that we won't like it, but.

I. I swear to God. She has Mexican cooking skills.

I think she does. Let's try it. Let's. What if I just say, hey, whatever. I just want you to surprise us with your favorite dish, and I don't want you to, like, don't just buy, like, a store.

Think she's trying to make white people food.

I know. I think she's just, like. She doesn't know what she's like, what we like, and she's. She's probably, like, concerned.

I don't even like white people food, and I'm white. I mean, I don't even like white people. I want. I pretty much like everybody else's food but ours. I don't think you even have food. I think we've stolen everybody's food. We have no culture with food because.

The United States is, like, an inbreed of, like, everything. And so it's just like our. Our food is like, French fries and burgers. Which I'm like, ew. And why did we love French fries?

I do love French fries and burgers. I don't know if we created those. I'm pretty confident the United States stole those from somebody. We stole them.

We stole French fries, literally.

I'll bet you. I bet your friends didn't even make French fries. We just, like, were. We wanted. We were probably making fun of French Frenchmen or something.

Okay. But let's move on with our topic.

All right, listen. So I am committed to having good Mexican food in my house.

All right, I'll just.

This was one of the biggest, most exciting points of hiring Rosie was. I was super pumped to have a home manager nanny who could cook amazing. I. In my mind, I saw little tortillas being made. I would come home and there would be little tortillas. Like, little fresh tortillas with, like, some, like.

Okay. So I saw on Instagram, and he.

Was, all right, you're done with this topic about tacos.

I'm done with it. And he was like. He was saying, you were in an event, and you were speaking, and you were saying, like, hey, dude, like, if you can't learn how to take feedback from your wife, like, how do you expect to do certain things in business? And you're like, my wife doesn't just, like, come at me with feedback. Like, she comes at me right after the ball. She. And you were like, but I have steel balls now, and I know. And I was like, oh, my God. I just sound like. Sometimes I feel like you make me sound like a raging bitch. Like, where are we At.

I think we actually have the. I actually have the clip we're going to. We're gonna play this clip because I had Parker save the stories into events on my Instagram. So you can actually go there and you can see this. Okay, I think it's coming. Here it is. I'm gonna actually play this little clip about balls getting punched in the balls. Oh, my God. He's like. Did a lot of them.

Yeah.

Hold on. I think we're almost there. We're almost there. It's coming. It's coming. Nope, nope, nope, nope. Oh, here it is. Nope, Nope. All right. I failed at bringing it up. All right. So anyways, there was a clip I was trying to find. I'm gonna have. I'm gonna have clips ready to play during the show. I think it sounds exciting. It just sounds cool when you play clips. All right, well, let's go to the clip. All right.

You know what we've been doing on our big Money Silas podcast, that's been really cool way to open this. The show is we've been asking people to submit stories based on, like, the topic. We're talking about the world. So I own a salon. They're like, oh, send us a funny story of, like, a shit show experience you had at the salon or whatever it is. Like, we could even ask. I don't know, we could ask couples like, hey, send us a story that's similar. Today's. Today's topic. And next week we'll open it up and share your story. I think it was, you know what you do.

We better now we could do questions. Live questions. Well, like audio question get sent in. Anyways, let's come back to our point. So I. I'm doing this clip at the event, and I talk about the shift of a story and how my story went from Danielle's a critical bitch. That was where it was. It used to be for years to. Danielle is a creative influencer with direct communication in my life.

Yeah. That's how. Exactly.

Yeah. So, like. But I was reframing and I was. I was sharing with this guy, and he's. Because he was in the same situation my wife. So critical. Not which is feedback. I said, but the challenge is, is that your wife is one of the few people in your life who can speak to you in a way that no one else can speak to you. Like, you got all the data. Like, you've got all the data. So you can, like, jab straight into the ball. So I said, listen, what's gotta happen is over time Your balls have got to become steel. Steel balls from the feedback from the Queen because she's refining you and getting you to a place of power. Like, when you think about giving me feedback, why do you choose to give me feedback? I think, like, what's going on in your mind?

I would say, like, as a wife and I have. It's like, one thing that I try to be more conscious of as a wife and a mom is even though it's. It's your I married you or my kids are my kids, I have to at least approach it with a little bit of a filter. Because my intent is never to, like, go after the juggler, is to, like, straight shot to the balls. My intent. My intent out of frustration is like, well, let me help him out. Like, let me share what I'm seeing. But oftentimes it actually comes not knowing all the facts and the details. Do you know what I mean?

Yes.

And so sometimes I. And maybe it's just my personality. We. I joke around all the time. I'm like, I'm a Taurus. So sometimes I think I know it all. And I'm. I can be selectively opinionated about weird things. So sometimes I make an opinion based on not knowing all the facts, and I come across like, why are you doing this?

Yeah.

Like, you know what I mean?

Yeah.

And so for me, I think. But I think it's not even, like a tourist thing. I think women in general tend to do that. You know, they're like, well, why don't you do this? Or this, or this? And they come across kind of. Naggy is a good word. And then guys are instantly, like, triggered. But our, like. I think our intent is, like, literally, like, I'm part of this family. Why would you do it that way? Do you know what I mean? Instead of kind of, like, stepping back and being like. It's like a balance of, like, communication, but also, like, trusting. Do you know what I mean? It's like voicing your concerns, but also, like, letting you kind of do your own thing and figure it out. And there's times in our relationship where I'm like. I've had to learn to, like, hold back and be like, I don't need to have an opinion on everything. I just don't. And then there's times where I'm like, I've gotta take a stand for this. Like, choose your battles. And, like, this is one thing that I just keeps coming up in my heart that I need to, like, express my concerns. But then I have to be very Careful with how I word it, because my intent is not to offend. Does that make sense?

It does. You've gotten better at this. Yeah, you've got a lot better.

But I think you've gotten better at receiving my feedback and I've gotten better at communicating my feedback. Do you know what I mean?

I do. So, like, in the beginning, I didn't know how to take it. So it was very hard for me in the beginning because, like, I always experienced, like, your feedback is like, attack. It was literally that. It was feedback. It was more like attack.

I think, too, you've proven yourself more, like, in business and, like, providing more, which built that trust more. Which. Then I was like, okay. He, obviously, maybe I don't agree with it, but he knows what he's doing. And maybe I don't have all the facts. I think I had the hardest time with it when you were trying to build your businesses. And, like, literally, I'd come to you and I'd be like, oh. And I was like a hairdresser, but I was like, having. In the mix of having kids, and I wasn't making a ton of money. I was like, making, like, two grand a month. And I'd come to you, and I like our lifestyle. We only needed, like, six, seven grand to live off of. Like, literally pay the bills, live off everything. And I'd be like, hey, can. And you put me in charge of the bills. And I'd come to you and I'd be like, hey, I need money in the account. And you would get mad at me.

Yep.

And I was like, I am trying to figure out how to win because I'm in charge of paying the bills, but there's no fucking money in the account to pay the bills right now. So you let me know how I'm supposed to approach you when I say, this shit isn't working. And so I think for me, it was like, gaining that trust of, like, I'm damned if I do, I'm damned if I don't. Like, I had some justification in the way I operated and spoke to you, because I was like, there's no results. There's no. There's no money. Like, what do you want to do? And I. That's even what triggered me to start my business, because I was like, God, I'm so fit. I'm so sick of nagging you and then feeling guilty that I'm nagging you. Fudge it. I'll go do my own thing. And then if we need extra money, then I have money in My account, where I'm like, you know how money I got it, babe? And I can be supportive on that end. And so we did that for a while.

While that.

Yeah, so that's like.

That's.

That's a side of the story, maybe, that people don't hear about me. They're like, oh, she went after the jugular. She went after the nuts. Like, I didn't filter my stuff, but I'm like, I didn't know what to do. Like, there was no results in our life that were leading to abundance. And I was kind of like, what the fuck? You're working all the time. Give me some goddamn money. And that's where. I mean, that was just frustrating as a wife.

I completely appreciate it 100%. He was injured because at the time, I was trying to figure myself out. I was trying to figure out where we're going. I was trying to figure out what I was going to do. I didn't want to go back into mortgages. You wanted me to go back into mortgages? A lot of people wanted me go back.

I wanted safety and security.

Yeah, go make some fucking money.

Because everybody, you know, back well, and.

Everybody I'd left the industry with was back in the industry making money.

They were killing it. So we had.

They weren't, like, kind of killing it. They were fucking making a bunch of money.

So Garrett leaves, like, the industry crashes, whatever. But then he had, like, my brother and some other guys that were in VA loans, and even when the market. Even though. When, like, the market was crashing, they were still killing it, making, like, you know, 30, 40 grand a month. And I'm like, fuck, we can't even make five grand a month right now. You're trying to do your own thing. And I see all of our friends and family that are just like, not only that, but then they're even like, what? Looking at me like, what's Garrett doing? What is. Why is he doing that? So I'm like, having to deal with the backlash of everybody being like, what the fuck is Garrett doing? And I'm trying to be a supportive wife, but I'm kind of like, what the fuck is he doing?

And then the rest of the story, no.

And so then I kept pushing you and kept pushing you and kept pushing.

Now I'm the. That everybody wants to hang out with. Ah, yeah. Got me. When I'm down, you don't get a ride with me when I'm up. Question me in the pit. You don't get that party with me at the peak. You all right. Anyways.

But what pushed you, like, finally. Because I remember there was a.

Actually, I'm not kind of. I'm not actually kidding when I say that, but you have been instrumental to it.

There was been. There was a specific time. I remember, in Hawaii that you snapped. And you were like. You literally, you were like, what am. Like, all of a sudden, you.

No, I will tell you exactly what happened. We'd gone to Hawaii. I had no money. Your parents paid for everything. I felt helpless. I felt worthless. That's why it gets bad, really. Like, when you make money, then you have no money. Like, if you have no money and you don't know you have any money, you never had any money. You just kind of accept the fact that, hey, we don't have any money. But once you've had money, you made money, you've experienced prosperity and abundance, and you've lived it at a certain level, and then you don't have it. It's like this crazy contrast. It's like. It's like having an amazing, like, run for six months to a year with sex and then having no sex. I don't know anything about that except for maybe having a baby.

I'm sorry. I'm happy.

I'm not having you apologize. Listen, I got the concave gut thing going.

Put it in your book, Garrett. Put it in your book.

It's gonna be.

We're all gonna cry a river. Put it in your book.

Oh, I think it's funner looking directly at you.

Is it funny? Because you can see the fury behind my eyes. I like it while getting a leg cramp and a contraction at the same time.

Oh, I know. Shit. See, don't go there, because I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna even include you on the book. You don't get to be in the book because then you're gonna make me. Gonna make you feel bad, and I won't be able to actually write the book. I gotta write the book from a position about guys. So anyways, we go to Hawaii. I don't have any money. This is like 2009er somewhere in there. Like 2009er. And we end up at the Ko' Olina Resort in Hawaii, which is a Marriott style hotel.

We paid for flights I don't even.

Think we paid for.

No, we did.

No, I swear to God.

We got a really good deal.

You probably paid.

I did.

I didn't have it.

You were like, we can't go. And I found I got a really good deal.

And then your parents Paid for everything else. Yeah. So I end up there at the hotel, and I. And I go out in the morning on my cell phone, and I have a woman who I have done some work for who owes me 500.

Oh, you're so fast.

And I'm sitting out in the lobby area of the hotel room here at the Ko' Olina Resort in Hawaii, and I'm excited. I. I mean, I'm. I'm pretty helpless. Like, I'm. I've been coaching with Brendan Burchard at the time, and, like, he's saying, millionaire messenger. And I'm like, dude, this voice in me will not shut the up. Like, I don't even know if I can do this. I. Like, I was on my last straw. I was like, I'm gonna go back and do the thing that I did in financial services, because I cannot figure this out about trying to help people. Will help myself. Like, I. I just. I don't know how to do this. So I'm sitting there on the phone with this woman, and she tells me she was from Canada. I don't even remember her name, but she was from Canada. And she tells me on the phone, she says, I'm not going to pay you. And I'm sitting there, and all of a sudden, like, there is this moment in my brain where, like, a train is going down the tracks, and then the switcher guy switches the tracks, and then the train goes on a totally different set of tracks than the tracks it was originally headed on. This is what happens for me. I have a moment where the tracks just shift. I stand up, I yell at her. I hang up on the phone on her. I go, motherfucker. And I take my phone and I throw it as hard as I can against the Ko' Olina Marriott Resort wall.

Did it break?

Do you know what to say? I don't even know if it broke or not. I don't know. I literally can't remember what happened next. I think I probably blacked out from rage. I had no stacking tools. I had no Core four. I had no brotherhood. I had no conversation. There was nobody giving me permission to tell the truth. I was just here, this helpless guy with no money sitting at the Marriott Ko' Olina Resort with my wife who's looking hot as shit. You're not. You're not having sex with me at all the time. Because I can't even make any money because I'm feeling worthless.

We were sharing a room. Cause we couldn't afford.

We were sharing a room with who?

I don't remember. It was. Because it was, like, a big trip. My parents invited, like, all the siblings.

We were sharing a room. You were sharing a room. I mean, how bad is that?

I'm not gonna have sex when I'm sharing a room. It was fun.

Yeah, no, it wasn't fun at all. It was the shittiest vacation. It's probably why I hate going back to that resort.

You know what? I took a. I took the girls back and I got a suite, and it was totally different.

I'm never going again. No, you can continue with the kids. You can take Baby Isla with you, too. I will not go to that place. It's like hell for me.

Oh, God. Maybe you should get over it.

I will never get over it. Okay, all right. Maybe I will get over it. But nonetheless, that's when the shift happened. And then I. Then I went crazy. And you know what also I realized with feedback is I started realizing that just because you give me feedback doesn't mean I have to listen. And this was like. This was a hard thing for me. Cause in the beginning, you. I. For a period of time when I was at my lowest, you had way more certainty than me. So you would say. And I looked at you like a witch, like, you were like a prophetess. You would say, I had a dream. I'm like, tell me more. Yeah.

And I was like, tell me what happens?

What do I need to do? And you're like.

I was like, I'm intuitive, but I don't know.

And so, like, you would just. You would say things like, the garage is opening. And I was like, okay, what does this mean if my garage was opening in my dream?

It was a lot of pressure on me. You put so much pressure on me. Because I did. I think I'm like, I am pretty intuitive, and I say things and I see things, and. But you would put too much pressure even on me, be like, what do you think? And I'd be like, please lead. I don't know.

Well, it was good news, was I didn't know either. So I was sitting there with, I don't know. You're sitting there with, I don't know. But then I make a decision. I start going. And it did take years, though. It took years for me to figure out how to deal with feedback.

I think that's what I remember is when you're in Hawaii, because I remember being so pissed because, like, I felt you were judging me for. You were like, I'm helping people. I'm making a difference And I'd be like, well, fucking pay the bills. And I think, think you kind of casted this. Like, oh, you're just like in it for the money and screw you.

I was, I completely was saying.

And I kind of was like, at this point where I'm like, you. You can't. You can't help others if at some level you don't help yourself. And I think that moment in Hawaii, it was like a light bulb turned on and I was like, finally. I'm like, I'm not saying I think. I think I, like, always saw how good you could be at anything. And so the fact that, like, you were doing things and not getting paid, but you're like, almost kind of self righteous about it, like, oh, but I'm helping and I'm changing the world. I'm like, that's an excuse. Like, you should be able to help yourself and help others at the same time. And I think in that moment, I finally was. It was like a light turned on and I was like, okay, good. And then I felt like I could be more on board.

Yeah, I don't. Here's the reality. You ready for the reality? Reality is I don't. I don't believe I would have made it out of the. I don't think I could have made it out of the rut. I think I'd have probably ended up back on, like, mortgages or gone back into something if I was not married to you.

I think that you work your ass off and I can never, like, take any credit for the amount of. You just are that person. Like, you work, work, work, work, work. Like, you are one of the hardest working people I know, but I do know that I am in your life. Like, I think I push you just enough.

You do. You're like, you're like. You're like a rudder on a boat. But you're also like, you know, the bumpers on a bowling lane. So, like, you. You come in at critical times. I don't think we would have made it. I think we'd be divorced if it wasn't for you. Like, because there were moments where I was, like, giving up. I was like, fuck this, I'm done.

I think.

And you came back into the equation and perfectly. Sometimes you'd come in with, like, your ninja swords, and other times you'd come in with, like, this loving. Who the fuck is this, like, southern belle who, like, is in my house right now? I don't know who this, like, soft. Yeah, this soft, eloquent woman bringing me cupcakes well, yeah. Yeah, you broke her out.

Over the years, I can be Susie Homemaker or I can be Susie Slasher, Throat Maker. Suzy.

I'm Susie Slasher or I'm Susie Homemaker, one of the two. So I like the feedback. Over time, though, I started to trust myself, and I also started to trust you. And we still collide on stuff right now. We still go back and forth about things, and, I mean, the fact is, you're pregnant. I'm in a very interesting, precarious situation as a husband and as a man right now because I'm like, you are still taking on a ton of responsibility with your own businesses, plus you're pregnant, plus you're dealing with the kids, plus you're dealing with me. And I'm, like, throwing in my two cents, trying to, like, help out and do my thing around and, like, guide and support. But, yeah, I literally don't even know sometimes how to.

Because there's been times where I'm like, screw it, I'm overwhelmed. Here, you take it. It's your responsibility. To the point where, like, now I'm like, I don't. Like, I don't need to heavily rely on you. I'm actually a pretty, like, independent person by nature, and so there's been times I've had to even be like you. You act very much as, like, my bodyguard, which part of me loves, like, I'm like, oh, I love being treated like a woman and feeling like you're very protective. But then there's certain situations where I'm like, I need you to handle this, you know, and you'll come back in all raged up like, you're my bodyguard. And I'm like, I need you to let me handle this. And it could be even certain situations where I have leaned on you in the past. And I'm like, I. And I've said this on so many podcasts. Are you. Are you a com. Are you a people pleaser or conflict avoider? And I realized I'm not that nice. I'm not. I mean, I am nice, but I'm not a people pleaser. I'm a conflict avoider. And so oftentimes I would shove things on Garrett, like, you take care of it. You be my soldier. You be my guy that comes in. And then I was like, I need to face these responsibilities, and if I'm going to take on more in my business, and I don't need to always heavily rely on Garrett. And so that's kind of like, what I've come to recently. Is like, you've had to be like, okay, okay, I'm gonna let her do it. I'm gonna let her do it.

It's been really weird. Well, you'll like. And the challenge, too, was being, like, in a situation where you share it.

And I feel, oh, for sure. Then you're like, you feel extra now.

I'm, like, really fucking pissed. I'm like, oh, what?

Yeah.

She did what? Who did what? I was like, it's over. It's over. They're done. I'm taking them all out. No, no. Like, and then you've had a no, no, no. I was like, no, I'm headbutting her right now. And you're like, no, no. I got.

Let me handle it.

So I'm learning. I'm having to learn. And, you know, it's been fun, too. Is me, like, letting go of your businesses? Yeah, that's been an interesting transition for me.

I've liked it.

It's probably about, like, you being pregnant. It's feeling very painful sometimes. Well, I've, like, just letting go and, like, realizing, like, the role that I played to get a lot of what's going on now with the salon and BMS off the ground and moving. Like, I don't honestly. Do you think you would ever gotten a salon if I hadn't pushed you there?

I don't know, because there's. There's been times where you've come in and you've pushed me, and I don't see the next step. And then you push me, and I'm like, okay, that's the next step. So I think we both push each other in, like, the right amount of ways, for sure. Because I think I tend to be more conservative and, like, overthink things. And you're like, just go. And so I've had to learn to be, like, just trust that, like, in going, I'll figure it out.

Like, look at how. Look how awesome your salon is now. Like, you got a cool team there. Amazing environment, and we poured a lot of money into that. Like, a lot of time, a lot of energy, a lot of money, years. You poured tons of blood, sweat, and tears into making it happen. But it doesn't happen without me. And on the flip side, inside of my world, my world doesn't have without you.

I think it's, like, you have to come to this place in your. In your marriage or your relationship where you think the other person's, like, antagonizing you or nagging you or whatever. Like, if you can learn how to take that and flip it to where it's actually beneficial and not, like, destructive. It's a very powerful place to be in. And I feel like that. That we have gotten to that place in our relationship at some level where it's like, yeah, we drive. We drive each other crazy, but we've learned to, like, grow and learn from it.

Amen.

I am so uncomfortable sitting on this chair. Can you tell?

I'm like, yeah, we're done. All of a sudden, I'm like, this show is officially coming to a close as my pregnant wife is like, she has passed her capacity to sit in the shitty chair she's in.

Well, I've done two. I did another podcast right before this.

Oh, you did?

Yeah, with Ani.

Oh, and then you were in a team meeting this morning, and I didn't sleep well, and you can barely breath. Breathe. All right, we're done. All right. So, my friends, that brings conclusion here in this show. Again, the conversation today is feedback, but specifically, I'm going to give a shout out to the men to recognize that part of the role that your wife plays in your life is the ability to be the, quote, unquote, critical bitch. Her job is to criticize, and your job is to reframe criticism into a place of, hey, listen, my wife is simply jabbing at the king to wake the fuck up. Some of you might be hearing this. You're like, no, my wife's pretty much an eggy bitch. I want nothing to do with her. And I'd have you consider maybe inside of that, what's actually the problem is you're a whiny bitch like I was. And you've just got to actually reframe the fact that you think she's a critical bitch because you're being a whiny bitch. And if you just owned your shit and moved forward, that you might see that the criticism was actually some of the most powerful things.

And I would say to women, too, like, going with the intent of, like, is this going to get me what I want? Because it might change how you. How you bring it up or how you frame it and how you communicate. So anything that's bugging you or you feel like you need to steer the boat in the correct direction, ask yourself before having that conversation with your husband, like, what do I want out of this conversation? And it'll help kind of direct where you need to go.

That is our conclusion. We are done for this week, ladies and gentlemen. We will see you next week here on the date your wife podcast.