Easier To Be a King in Business Than at Home | Date Your Wife | Ep 086

A color correction. Hello, my friends, your boy, Gabriel J. White, the founder of Wake up Warrior and the CEO of DKW Skylink. And welcome here to another edition of Date your wife, the podcast. My lovely wife is here. Our co host and the soon to be author of Be the Woman, the book.

Huh?

You knew this, right? You knew you're gonna be the author of Be the woman, the book?

I wrote my own book. And then it like you are.

What was it called?

It was called the dumb hairdresser talking to the mic.

The dumb hairdresser.

You talking to the mic.

I am talking to the mic. Okay. So you still doing this book, Dumb Hairdresser?

I don't know. Well, I started writing the book the dumb Hairdresser because I am a hairdresser, but I don't think I'm dumb. But my journey is this story of. I always felt like I was dumb. So I wanted to talk about the evolution of how I did everything and the foundation. And it's funny. And in doing it, I'm realizing I'm telling a lot of my story when I. Which then I'm like, ooh, maybe we should go into be the woman first and tell like that side of the story and hash that out and then kind of create a spinoff.

So what you've just committed to is what?

I guess I don't know.

I guess I don't know.

I guess I.

You were right there. No, guess you committed to what?

Well, I wanted to write the dumb Hairdresser first.

Okay.

But then you were like, no, we're doing Be the woman first, so I feel like it was your idea. So I'm still digesting it.

Okay, this is me not cutting you off because all the shit talkers. I'm just gonna sit here and be quiet.

You cut me off a lot. Alright, so let's get started with today's topic. And if you're new to this show, we talk about four main topics. We talk about communication. We talk about sex, which is Garrett's favorite. Always. Done.

Done.

Every week he just sneak that in.

Don't. Ooh. Just slip it in there. Alright, so we've got sex. We've got communication.

Oh, I'm sorry, did you cut me off? Because I'm pretty sure it's sex. Commun. Collaboration. I'm just kidding. Money. Communication. Money and communication.

Well, you forgot something.

What?

Well, think about it. You just said communication.

Communication.

You said sex.

Sex. Money. Oh, parenting.

Parenting.

Apparently I'm not. I need to up my parenting game. Cause I totally forgot that One.

So today is not about parenting, though.

No, today is about.

Today is about what?

Are you sure it's about money?

It is. I believe. Let me check the podcast app. I believe it is about.

Cause last week, the dosh. It was about sex.

It had to. Money is always after sex.

Okay, then it's.

Yeah. Circus de olay of married sex. Yeah, that was last week, episode 36. So, right, this is. This. We're moving on to money. What is the topical name of our show today on the topic of Da dash.

What is the topical name?

Yeah, what's the name about it?

What?

We're going to talk about why you hate my Lamborghini.

No, we're not.

We're not going to go that place. We're just going to talk about why this Lamborghini. At some level, actually, you don't like it.

You hate my shoes and bags and purses.

Exactly. That is the title of this today's show, which is I hate your bag. You hate my car. Dun, dun, dun. All right, so let's. Let's talk about this, though. Let's talk about this. You, for a very long time, hated my business.

I was think. I didn't hate your business.

Yes, you did. You hated. Yes. Because of how much I was working.

I didn't hate your business, though, back in the day. No, I just hated you for working too much. I didn't hate your business.

The business never became like a weapon. You just hated me.

Yeah, I was like.

But you never once hated the business.

Why would I hate the business? The business is what pays the bills.

Because the business is what takes me away.

Everything takes you away. The business, like, pays the bills.

All right, so I guess I was inaccurate. You don't hate the business.

I don't hate the business. I think I got to this place where I felt like you loved the business more than you love me. And I was like, why does he want to work so much? Why doesn't he want to come hang out with me?

That's a good question. Would you like an answer?

Yeah.

Okay, I will tell you why men work a lot. There's a lot of reasons why men work a lot, but men's.

Are they scared of their wives?

Okay, well, we're gonna hit. The biggest reason. Do you wanna know the biggest reason why? Is because men can control what happens at business more than they can control what happens at home.

It's a safer place where they can fill for more manly or like.

It's not even more manly. It's just. It's Easier to be the king in business than it is to be the king at home.

It's probably true.

100% easier to be. That's actually the title of the show, Easier to be the king in business than it is to be king in your home. So let's talk about this, though, because this is a catch 22. It's an oxymoron. It's like jumbo shirt.

We were talking about it today in, like, one of our hot seats with. We do hot seats with hairstylists once a week for my big money stylist program, which is all about natural beauty, Rose.

And you can find that out@bigmoneystylist.com if you happen to be an artist listening to this.

Yeah, if you're a hairstylist, you might like it. We have another podcast called no, Mike.

You'Ll fucking love it. And I just cut you off when I said that. Sorry, go ahead.

Love it. But, yeah, no, I was realizing, like, in the two hot seats we had today, it's like women kind of have this thing where they want their man to show up with confidence and be the man at home, but yet they're quick to kind of. You always say, cut your balls off, but we're just quick to. Instead of nurture. Sometimes we are in this role, this kind of masculine role where it's just, like, cut you down, even if it's not even intentional. And especially if on the money topic, if the guy's not producing, plus he's working all the time, then he comes home, it's even more of a turnoff. But instead of trying to help the situation, we try to fix things and correct things, which ultimately a lot of women go right after the jugular, and they just, like, they don't even realize they are. But then it backfires because they're like, I want my man to show up attractive, and I want him to pay the bills, and I want him to be the man. But then at the same time, when they come home, they're not treating him like the man. But it kind of goes both ways because if the guy's not getting it done, I mean, we went through the same thing for a while, and I struggled with it myself. Honestly, I felt like forever I was going to work. And, I mean, it's not that you weren't paying the bills, but it was always like, babe, can I borrow money? Or babe, like, we're short. I need. Like, I was always like, your always classify always. Not always, but, like, when I needed to be.

We did have we did have a good rough year. Yeah, there was a year.

Rough year.

No, there was rough years, but there was a rough year where you were. You were probably the breadwinner, but.

No, not even. I've never been the breadwinner.

No, you were the breadwinner where I didn't have enough bread.

I've never been the breadwinner. Like, but there's been times, because I always went into marriage like, hey, I'm gonna work, and if we need my money, obviously, like, my. Like, we can. We can use it, but I don't want to be responsible for the bills. I know a lot of times in marriage and relationships, I think it's weird when the husband and wife split the bills. 50. 50.

There's a lot of couples that do this.

Yeah, but. And I. I kind of went in marriage, and I was like, I don't want to be responsible for the bills, but I get it. If the wife's, like, making as much, why is the husband or more. Why is the husband still responsible for all the bills? You know what I mean?

Do you know what, though, it does to a man when he allows his wife to split the bills?

I don't know.

It splits his power. Okay, but I'm not taking away from a woman making money, and I think that's fantastic, too. But I'm telling you, just for a guy, there is a bit of submission in a weird way that you have to. Actually, it's almost like you cut off one ball and you hand it in a Ziploc bag.

Is that true?

It's true.

Is it true?

100%.

Okay, so say there's women a lot in our industry and even in our network who they don't just kind of out produce their guys. Like, they double, even triple what their men are making.

And what are our hot seats constantly about?

How did. How did.

How do I deal with my husband, who is not being the man, and I am dominating him in business, and I am trying to decide whether I should get a divorce.

Yeah, but what about those couples that. It is working.

There are those that are working.

How does that. How does.

They're all people also who have pets that are unicorns.

No, I do.

But outside of the people with pets, with unicorns and the few couples that aren't. Listen, here's a frank reality. Men at the primal level must be okay with the stewardship and responsibility that is. I must pay the bills independent of my wife. I'm not gonna ever back away from this. People want me to back away from this. They want me to be politically correct and say that in a year of 2018, it's okay for a husband and wife to split bills. The only reason our relationship works is because I literally focus on 10xing. Whatever you do did.

So when I was like, got to this point where. Where you finally kind of saw what I was making, is that. Do you think that was part of, like, you being like, what is going on?

You triggered a definite what the going going on in me because, like, there were moments you were hiding how much money you were making for me. Why did you hide it?

Because I was like, I'm not responsible.

You were literally hiding. I found this out years later.

I'll be honest. You want the real truth?

Are you cutting me off?

You want the real truth of why I was hiding it? Because I didn't know if I wanted to be stayed married to you. And I was like, hiding some. I split my bank accounts. Like, I literally separated my bank accounts. And I was like, you know, just hobby money. And then like, I was like, I just made like 35,000 last month. I made like five grand, babe. And then you be like, do you have any money to pay the bills? It was like a safety net for me because I didn't know if like.

And you would say no, and then I would ask you for money for, like, tipping and you'd say no. And like, it was smart.

I was pissed.

I was smart.

I was so pissed. I was like, it was a good move. I just played dumb. And then like one month, like, you were saying something to me and it really triggered me and I was like, fuck you. Do you know how much I made last month? And then that didn't help our situation.

No, it didn't help our situation, but it did give me a big, huge, giant 2x4 from Home Depot Aisle 3. Straight into the balls and they were bruised. They were black and blue balls from the two by four. Truly. I remember because I was like, super irritated because I don't remember. You weren't helping. I listen, here was what was happening, though. I was desperate and I was looking to my wife for support in the sense of please help me offset my weakness and inability to produce. Please help financially produce. I know this is a sticky conversation. It is. So I'm only going to talk from the man's perspective. There's very few men on the planet, only the ones that have unicorns as pets, who actually are okay with their wives out fucking producing them.

Do you think? Like, even if they say, like, they're Like, I've accepted my role. I am. Listen, I bet it's a little hard.

It's very hard.

No, she's like, ben, the girl owns.

The money card and the vagina card, knows she owns the victory vagina and the money.

I mean, it's. I don't want to say always. That's such a blanket statement.

Never always. Somebody with a unicorn as a pet.

Is a distinction, I will say. I can think of a lot of couples and a lot of hot seats and a lot of people where it's tough when the girl is out producing the guy. Like, the guy's like, no, it's cool. I'm chill. But, like, the girl is pissed.

Listen, here's what I deal. Like, I have thousands of male clients. And by the way, if you are a man, you're listening to this and you have not checked out Be the Man, the book. It is now available in book, book, paperback, as well as Kindle as well as audio in audible. In Amazon, look up Be the Man by Garrett J. White. This book itself, We've sold literally 7,000 of these books in the first two weeks. Available on Amazon. Audiobook is now available. So if you haven't checked that out, would encourage you to head to. Head to Amazon and search for Be the Man. So here's the deal, though. Inside of Warrior, we have.

Why is this such a sensitive subject to people?

They're like, oh, it's tough.

It is tough. And I'm like, hey, I'm a woman. I can produce for myself.

And.

And ultimately I got to this place where I'm like, I want him to take care of me.

But let's be straight about something. If you were making three times more than me, let's imagine that and I was gone working and you were gone working. Exactly. Why?

Because I'd be like, listen, fuckers, stay home and man the kids.

Yeah, but even if that was the case, how attractive would I be to you?

I would just.

Don't fucking lie.

When I hold all the control, there's no chemistry.

There's. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. We just hit climax. Can work like you just knocked on the door.

Like, then the guy is like. Then the girl's like, I want my sex life to be better. And you're like, well, stop showing up like the fucking dude then.

Listen, if you're in your 20s and you have a ripped surfer, who's your boyfriend, you know, or maybe in your 30s and you're having a little spell.

That'S got her good, that's why you go like, the six. The girl that's like, let's just like, throw out. Let's just role play for a minute. Like, late 30s, early 40s, super successful. Like, she's probably gonna just like, surrender. Boy toy.

Boy toy.

I'm gonna have fun. And.

And boy toy doesn't care because he's like.

The roles are reversed.

We have friends. We have friends of ours who literally, after their divorce, found a boy toy. Many of them have found boy.

I think it's important to find a boy toy and get that out of the way and then, like, really evaluate if that makes you happy.

True. And every time, it never does. And then they end up going the other direction, which is they go find a super older guy.

Yeah.

Who's actually not a boy toy. This constantly happens over and over and over again. They get divorced, they go find a boy toy. They. They fuck their brains out for like six months to a year. And then they're like, eh, yeah, that's not gonna work. And then they go. And then they go after the money.

Yeah.

They first go after the honey, honey. And then they go after the money. Money.

They want their honey and their money.

They want their honey first, then their money.

But can you have your honey and your money?

I am your honey and money.

Sometimes you're my honey.

I'm your honey and your money. I'm just my money sometimes. I am not just your money. Sometimes I'm simply just a honey.

I gotta be honest, when you weren't my money, you weren't my honey.

Listen, that's hard to accept. Oh, is it hard for you to say?

It was kind of. It was a little hard.

I realized. I just listened. I just felt like thousands of our listeners just go, oh, what a business.

I know, I know that was rough. But.

No, I mean, let's have a moment of sadness.

No, like, I'm just saying from, like, a girl's perspective. And I. I keep bringing up this hot seat. Damn it. Because it was earlier today, but she was like, I don't know why. Like, I love my husband, but I. And I want to be more sexual. And I want to. I just. I can't. And I'm. And she's like, I'm just not. She didn't say attractive. What did she say? She said something.

Well, she said, I'm just not attracted to him.

And I said. And then we stem down. We're like, well, maybe the issue's with you, you know?

Yeah, but the issue was like a bigger issue than that. Like, listen, here's the deal. Like, she's literally making, like, three, four times more than him. And I think the challenge is like, this, like, as. Dude, this is a sticky situation. I realized the conversation we're going on, if you're a guy and you're getting now produced by your woman, you're listening to the show, you're like, fuck you, Garrett. And I was like, I understand. And if you're a woman and you're listening to this and you're out producing your man, and you're, like, sitting here, and you're probably like, fuck you, Garrett. And you're, like, feeling that same. Maybe you're saying, fuck you, Danielle. I don't know. But maybe saying fuck you to both of you guys. And we're not gonna listen to the show anymore. And then you shut it off, and then you turn it back on, and here you are listening again. But what I can tell you inside of this, this is not a simple one cut solution. What I am telling you is there is a dynamic that I have observed now, not through just some story. I didn't watch a fucking YouTube video or a TED talk. We've lived it as a couple. Plus, I have watched not five or six thousands thousands. I do 16 hot seats a week that are anywhere between 45 minutes to an hour. And I do women and men inside of those hot seats, meaning in the hair industry, we deal with women. We're women. We deal with women.

It's hard for me.

You do just cut me off, because our listeners are very offended by this.

I'm gonna lose this thought. You know what is hard for me? And I even expressed a lot of emotion about this over the weekend, as I was. As. I ultimately want to kind of be the woman, you be the man. And I know even to get my business to the next level, you're really good at what you do. And so I kind of was like, listen, I'm stressed. I'm doing this all I can produce, but it's not super fun. I kind of want to be a mom and a wife, and I don't necessarily want to take on this much stress right now. And if we're both trying to build businesses and take on this much stress, it's really not healthy for the relationship. And so I got at this place in my life where I'm like, okay. And I wanted you to come on and, like, take over, even inside of my own business and for me.

But that was really hard for you.

It was hard for me, and it was like a whole nother it was like releasing my baby and just trusting. And even then, like, I let go of. We merged our bank accounts. I was like, okay, here's my little account with my slush fund. Now you know what I had. And it was just, like, little pieces. I just kept giving to you and giving to you and giving to you. And I noticed, like, all of a sudden, I was more attracted to you, which is weird. So even though, like, I felt like I'd really accomplished a lot and was doing great, and even what I did, I feel like we're inspiring tons of other women who are, like, just, like, producing like crazy, and it's amazing, but inside that, it's kind of like I've had to be like, okay, I need to kind of, like, let you produce and you be the man. And in doing so, one thing that I noticed about myself over the weekend is I was, like, realizing. I'm like. That's. I'm back to feeling, like, kind of a scary, vulnerable place.

Really?

Because I'm saying that. Yeah, I'm like. Because all of a sudden, like, I know I built this, but I don't have control over it anymore. And there was a piece of me that's like, oh, my God, could he come in and cut my legs at any moment? Like, now. Now he's got control of the finances and everything else. And even though I'm, like, living like, a more, like, relaxed life, and I feel like I got my business off the ground and now it's exploding, there's. There's still this piece of me that gets so scared sometimes. And so that's hard. And I would imagine, like, for both the male and female, like, there's. There's, like, this has to be this trust and this dynamic in the relationship where you're like, better not fuck me over. Like, it's, like, a scary place to be. So you even like the fact that I. And I don't even know if I've really, really communicated it.

No, you're not. Until this weekend.

Yeah, like, I didn't.

You've never communicated.

That's why I keep fighting to get back in my business, because I'm like. Like, I'm like, oh, my God. Like, what? Like, I'm losing control.

Of what?

Like, I'm losing control.

Of what? Of, you know. Control of what?

I don't know.

Money.

Oh, yeah. That. But. And I'm like. And I don't like that because I feel like I built this up and. And in this place where, like, I felt like our marriage wasn't gonna work out. Like, I had my safety net. I had my safety bubble, and now I'm like, here, take my safety bubble. And so now I'm like, oh, shit. Like, ugh. And so it's like a scary, vulnerable place for me to be in. And I. And at some level, it, like, kicks a little bit of my confidence. Cause I'm like. I just have, like. It's fun, and it's like, I'm less stressed and I'm working at a comfortable place and feel like I'm still in the mix, but at the same time, it's like, it's. It's just a more vulnerable. The only thing I can communicate is just, like, a more vulnerable place to be in for myself.

So that. That vulnerability that we noticed, like, over a conversation over the weekend too, I said, listen, that's the same way guys feel about sex is like, I have no control. Right. So the same. And so I was relating to you. I don't think I've been able to relate to you until. Well, you've never communicated it to me.

So I was thinking, like, in me feeling more vulnerable, I'm actually more attracted to you because I feel like you hold the man card more, you know? So ultimately, like, that's what I wanted. And so I have to understand, like, in my story that I was telling myself to get what I wanted. Did that mean that I had to kind of let go? And I.

Do you know what I think happened? As you started letting go of control in that area, you started opening up more submissively. Sexually.

Pisses me off.

You became more sexual.

Sure. But what pisses me off?

Did you just quickly. Sure. Over that, every man across the globe went. Because.

Because when I was working a ton, I was really, really tired. And like, I shared this on last week's sex show, and I was like, girls go into sex sex like it's a chore. Like it's a checklist. Like, you gotta mop your floors and get her done. And it's because we're just like, sleeper sex. Sleeper sex. Sleep sounds so good. And so we're like, yeah, I guess I'll have sex. But we're, like, really fucking tired. And so when sleepy sex, when I open up space where I'm, like, less exhausted. And he. And not to mention, like, now there's this space where I feel like you've stepped it up. Then all of a sudden, I'm like, there's this attraction. Plus I'm not so tired.

Okay, so there's a submission game. On both sides, which is a very interesting one. Right? So you have men who control women with money, and you have women who control men with a vagina. This is a fact, right? And then inside a relationship in marriage, you watch people play this back and forth, too. And this I, as I was sharing the idea, like you were sharing how vulnerably and how helpless a little bit you were feeling, and I was trying to communicate to you that is the exact same feeling for over a decade. I felt sexually in our marriage, like, I didn't control anything, literally. And unlike money, you can go make money. I can't go, like, just sleep with other women all the time. So you can go. You can go solve that issue by yourself. Which is a rising issue inside of relationships across the fucking globe, is that women are able to satisfy themselves in a whole lot of different ways that a man truly cannot without being called an asshole. A woman goes and makes money. Some people can be like, you're a bitch. What's wrong with you? Blah, blah, blah. But they can satisfy the need to feel in control of their life and their emotions, which is the safety and security. You can go get paid. You can go get do your thing. For a guy, particularly a married man, even if he goes, produces, there's no guarantee that sex is going to happen. And so he's still in this place where he has to wait. And this is why I came and started our whole conversation about why guys don't come home. Guys will not come home because they come home to an environment that they can't control anymore. They don't know how to even show up or operate inside of his relationship, particularly if they have a powerful woman who is rising. It's a very difficult game. You and I have had to try to figure this out too, because when you were rising inside of the banking world or inside of your business game, and you were making money and putting it in your bank, and as you were being more successful, your tolerance of behavior by me went down, but your desire to connect with me sexually also went down. The more productive you were being in business and the more control and the more masculine energy you had to rise inside of that. There was a bank account that was rising and a disconnection in our world sexually. And what was happening inside of you and I is. I was like, oh, really, bitch? All right, really. But we're gonna compete on this right now because I'm gonna fucking beat you. I will dominate you.

I want to touch base on this, too. In the beginning of our marriage, when I wasn't really making a ton of money and I would do hair, but it was, it was. I mean, I was doing. Actually, I was doing. Okay, you were doing.

I think you were like ten grand a month back then. What are you talking about?

I think from the get go, I.

Wasn'T making like 10 grand a month doing here.

But even then, like, I didn't really consider myself the breadwinner or whatever. And I remember always being like, the more you worked and didn't come home, the more pissed I'd get. And I want. And I shared this story on actually a big money stylist podcast. There was this time when you were in banking and you started like speaking a ton and you were like, just getting into, like on different stages and things. And I remember there was one night and it was my birthday and I don't know if you remember this. And I just was like, God, I'm not work. I didn't work late hours. I mean, I'd work during the day and then whatever. And we didn't have kids or anything at the time. And I remember there was this event that we went to. And you're like up on stage and you're speaking and it's my birthday. And I was like, you're like, I promise, babe, we're gonna go out after. And I'm like, okay, cool. And I remember thinking, like, when the thing gets over and all of a sudden people surround you and you're like, da, da, da, da, da. And you're just talking to him and I'm like, he wants to. He's loving this praise from all these people. He doesn't even, like, he hasn't even once even acknowledged, like, I'm like, hey, babe, come over here. This is my wife's birthday. Like, hi. Like, literally, I just like, like sat in the back and I was like, oh, my God. And then we ended up not leaving till 9:30 and nothing was open. And we went to Taco Bell.

My birthday, did we end up going to Taco Bell?

We went to Taco Bell.

I am confident I didn't get laid that night.

No. But I'm just saying so, like, even in the beginning, like, I started to lose that attraction factor because there wasn't even the time put into our marriage. And it's not even like, the money wasn't there.

No. It's crazy. Like, at that time, though, I didn't have anybody in my corner who was giving me any counsel. Like, I was going into a place where in my world, you were like.

I just hustle and if I hustle.

Then I, I had no, I had no mentors, I had no examples. I came from a family with no money. I came from, you know, your parents were, had done something successfully but even like they, they couldn't give me much counsel. Like I didn't have anyone who was looking at me telling me how to get paid. So I, and at the same time I didn't have anyone in my world to coach me on how to be married. I'd already failed that once, so I didn't know how to do it a second time. And my first marriage, she, she and I get. Christie did not get. Stayed together and there were a lot of reasons for that. But one of the things she was pursuing for was financial security. The next guy she went to ran a company. Then that marriage ended and she went for another guy who had much more security. And her and that man are much, very, are very happy.

Been married for 14 years searching for that security and security.

So I thought that's what I needed to provide in order to make it happen. And inside of it I became centrally focused. I even let my body go for about a year and a half or two and I was eating ice cream tonight and starting to put some weight on and all I gave a shit about was studying, learning, working, hustling, selling from 6 o', clock, 5 o' clock in the morning until 9 o', clock, 10 o' clock at night. And then I wanted to come home and have sex.

That's even what the book's about. Your be the man. Like how like guys are just like.

I didn't even know how.

They're just bred to work. They're just like work, work, work, work, work. And, and then women actually even stay at home women, they go into kind of a masculine role because they're like.

Oh my God, they work, work, work too.

I'm like managing the home and managing the kid, I'm managing everything. And then you both come home and you're like men colliding and you're like, why are we not attracted to each other?

Yes.

And it doesn't work.

And the wife's tired because she'd been with like the lunatics all day.

Even if the wife has a babysitter and a spa day, still lunatic, still not being emotionally fulfilled.

Yes.

And that's like, yeah.

So there's this like collision topic that we're dealing with here, this control game that exists inside a relationship, which is this constant submission inside of the topic of money. And it's not. Some of you may be in a situation where you're listening to show and only one of you work and the other one doesn't, or you're the wife and you make more money than the husband, or you're the husband and you make way more money than your wife, but you're still not connecting. And all of this at the end of the day on the topic of money, is that money ultimately can become an accelerator or a decelerator for connection. And it actually doesn't make anything happen. What it does is expose what's happening. Because we were financially out of security or out of scarcity as a couple for years. But when we finally, before we actually.

Connected for years though, like, we weren't. There was like, there was probably a good three years where it was pretty rocky and then there was like three more years. We were like, okay, we're pretty safe. But it wasn't. I still think I saw the potential of like, you and like, honestly, you, like. I mean, I was kind of like doing my own thing, but I really was like, God, I just felt like you'd always like skyrocket, you know what I mean? And so it wasn't until we finally, like, I realized in order, I. I felt like I was like kind of holding you back and holding us back. And then the more we got on the same page, I ultimately, like, you started to skyrocket and so did I. And it was like, it started to work out, but it takes a lot of submitting and it takes a lot of like, trust and it takes a lot of like daily work. And I think that it's even in our own marriage, like, it can go south within like two weeks and you have to rebuild it.

But I just go south in one night?

It can, but with like, we had a big fight over the weekend. But when your relationship is more sturdy, like in the past when we'd have like one of those big blow up fights, I was like, fuck it. Sleeping. I'm like, out. I'm like researching divorce lawyers. Like, I'm out. When your foundation is rocky and then an explosion happens, it's hard to build that back up. And so I got to this place now where I'm like, we can have a fight and we can come back and talk about it because our foundation is better.

Could you imagine the fight we had on Friday? Could you imagine that happening in 2009? We'd have been divorced.

I know.

No, we would have been over. We would have been fucking done. Like, both of us would have looked at one another and been like, fuck you. Fuck you. We're out, literally, Friday night fights. We're going to call it that. Friday night fights under the lights in the garage.

You know what, though? That was like. That was like. That was a whole nother level.

That was a whole nother level.

It needs to go to that level. But in doing so, I feel like we were able to communicate and, like.

The next day completely opened us up.

And we were like, what the fuck? How did the how with where we're at? How did that happen?

Yeah.

So anyways, I gotta go pick up our daughter.

All right, so here's the. We're gonna end this in the show on the topic of money and the focus of the focus of this I want you to actually have as a conversation. I'm gonna. I know I've come back on this topic again with men, but I'm gonna come back on it again. Gentlemen, I want you to have a conversation with dynamics of this with your wife. When it comes to money, Right? Just literally, what. What is the connection to attraction for you and the money you're making or the lack of money that you're making? If you solve the money problem, then you can work into the relationship problem. On the flip side, if you're a man that's not making enough money, you're not paying your bills, again, have that same conversation with your wife and just see where it takes you. Because if you can get her to be honest with you, it may be the prompt that you need to ultimately rise. Anything I'm gonna say to end, Nope, nope.

I gotta go pick up the kids.

The chance is done. All right, that's all we got for you this week. Hope you guys have a great week. We'll be back next week with the topic of parenting, and, well, we've got some shenanigans and a doozy to share. We're gonna talk about Instagram and the psychosis of having middle school children now in an Instagram generation. Have a wonderful week, and we look forward to seeing you next week.