From Fire Hydrants to Fortune: How Love, Hustle, and Redemption Built the Lovepreneur Empire

All right, my friends, welcome to another episode of the date your wife podcast. Man, it has been a firestorm since coming to Miami. We had a blast putting shows on in California, but I'm not gonna lie to you, it is 10 times, 20 times more intense than we've. Since we've gotten here to Miami, the guests have been on fire every single week. And this week, we have a special couple here with us. They brought their kids in. We got to meet em. One's on his way to being a professional soccer player. They unschool their children. They run things off the gamut. They're massive real estate investors. They work in collaboration with each other and launched a brand called LovePreneur. When you hear LovePreneur, what do you think?

Entrepreneurs that love each other.

Oh, that could be it. We don't know. So today on our show, we have somebody. And in case you see her name on the Internet and you need to be trained cause you from the unschooled world like me, it is Diannie. So think about Annie and dying Dianny. And we have a man who does not need a name outside of just meet.

Let's go.

Welcome to the show, Eugenie.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

So we're going to start with some real fun questions right out of the gate. You ready? Okay, walk us back. Walk us back. You two have been together for how long?

15 years. Married.

15 years. Married.

18 years. Together. Okay. And 24 years. Flirting.

24 years.

24 years flirting.

And she still likes me.

So there was a flirting season before the together season?

Absolutely. Okay, so he was a pimp.

Oh, who was a pimp? Back in the day. We're going right into it. Okay, so let's go. Talk us a bit. When was the first time you saw this man? Like you actually knew about this man?

Yeah, we have a mutual friend. So I was the girl that had the rims, the tenant windows, the stereo, and the coupe. Right?

Yeah.

And we all went to this mutual place to get our systems done.

Okay.

Well, his best friend, like a brother, Rick, shout out to Rick. He said, you know, I have a guy, a friend of mine that I would love for you to meet. I think you guys will hit it off. And one day, you know, he was like, hey, can you meet us at this corner, particular corner? And I met him there. And it was a fire hydrant. So we first met at a fire hydrant and exchanged numbers.

So he. So this is. How many years ago is this?

This is 2001.

2000.

Wow.

That's when we met.

That was at the same time. Okay. Okay. So you. You have the Spinners.

I had the Spinners. I had the fancy.

You had the Spinners.

You had the Spinners, but they were from Walmart and they popped off.

Let's not start there. I didn't have. I had. Listen, first date we went on, I had pop on hubcaps. We're spinners. And my friends with me and took two of them off when I came.

No, we parked in, and I was like, I think your rim's rolling down the street. It's like her second day.

She's a real one. She's still here.

She started at the bottom, and now we're at the top.

From the hubcaps to the room.

Exactly. Okay, so you. Had you seen him before?

No, no, I've never knew me. Although me is very known in Philly. But no, you know, I was. I just graduated high school. I started going to temple. That was first year at temple. And. No. No. And it was. He was a cutie. But right away, you can tell he was. He had options. Too many options. And I was too skinny for him. Oh, yeah. Cause he had, you know, the big booty.

Big booty. Curvy girls. Yes.

Yeah. My curves didn't come out yet. I didn't have any kids yet.

They were still. Okay. So you. You see him. You're already attracted right now.

Yeah, no, he's a cutie. He's so cute. And we became friends. Like, he's one of those two. Although he had options, he was very always respectful. Got it. And just sweet. So we will call. We will meet up at gas stations. Those six, Five, six years, he never came over my house. We never kissed. It was just always conversations, checkups. How you doing? Valentine's Day card. I kind of wonder how many of you guys also have those cards.

Yeah.

You know, with, you know, happy Valentine's Day. Just one of those guys. Hey, let's meet up. Never dinner, never kiss, Never smack in the butt. Hey, can we go?

Yeah.

Just always was friends for those years. And I. I was dating on and off, but I was dating someone, and we were both in college, and he went off to play basketball, and I wasn't feeling the way that, you know, that was like. It was like, I'll call you in two days. And that wasn't the life for me. And so again, one of those days, we. I was out and about. So this is two. I graduated college, 2006. So I was out and about on a date. At a lounge, a famous lounge in Philly. And I'm dancing with the guy, and all I see is some guy, which is me, come right in between me and this guy. And I'm like, hi, me. You know, just again, seeing someone I haven't seen in a while. And I hug up on him, like, how you doing? And he just, like, lifts me up and takes me to the VIP area where he was at, and the rest is history. Like, I don't know what happened to the guy.

I was like, what about the guy? Is that a date?

Where did he go? I have to this day is like, I'm sorry. I don't know what happened.

You're like, he said vip. Bye.

You probably don't know how to stay in the right section.

Okay, so come back. So she rolls up on the corner by the fire hydrant. Why? Why you have a meeting at the fire hydrant?

So that was just a spot in the neighborhood, okay. And my man called me and told me to come meet him there. So I met him there. And she was there, and, you know, looking, you know, checking her out, like, nice, nice little, young. Little young thing. A little tenderoni. So we exchanged information, but, you know, I was. I was in to a lot of different things at that time. And be real, what I realized, yeah, I was in the streets doing all types of things and, like, selling popsicles. Yeah, yeah, popsicles.

Popsicles. Suckers. To the kids. You ran the ice cream truck.

Absolutely. The ones that come back that way.

You had the recite. You had the. You had the undercover. Undercover. Popsicle sand.

That's it right there. And so exchanged information. Kind of just built for a little bit. But I realized she was a good girl. And I was like, in that moment, in that time and the season that I was in, in life, she's not really one I want to mess up, you know, I already knew where it would go, and it's like, I ain't really ready to be who I think she would need in that moment.

Were you actually feeling that when you first met her? Or were you just feeling like, hey, this is you?

As we start building, as I start to really get to see, like, she was independent, she was younger, but she had a good head on her shoulder. You know, she had a car. Mom and dad wasn't paying for it. Like, she was responsible, and I knew that at that moment.

Respect level.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would attain it everything if. If I got with her.

How far apart are you guys in age?

Two years.

Oh, two years. Okay.

But Inexperienced child.

Yeah. Yeah. You're acting like she was so much.

Younger already at that time for sure.

Different places in life.

Yeah, definitely.

Okay, so you ran, you ran, you ran ragged for a while. Yeah. How long did you run ragged?

I started getting myself together. Probably mid 20s, mid 20s, mid 20s. I started getting myself together.

It was right before we reconnected those stories.

I wound up catching a case and that thing kind of like took me for a spin. Lost everything. Like God really showed me who the boss was. And it really changed everything for me. I wrote a book, one of the chapters called 19 Cent. I didn't put it out yet, but I remember leaving my parents house at 17 years old and had to go back to my parents house. It's only for a few weeks, but the fact that I went in my pocket after living, you know, downtown, having my way, and wound up with 19 cent in my pocket and had to restart it was the most humiliating, humbling experience. But I needed it. It was so necessary. And I also realized that there was another part of my life that I was missing, having that partner help me. And literally that was the night I saw her in the club. I was sending one of my guys to go get her and I said, now hold on, I'm gonna go myself. And I went right down her and the guy was at the bar. I slid right in between them. I didn't know the guy at the time or anything. Honestly, I didn't care at that time. Grabbed her up. I said, you coming back up and VIP with me. We talked on the phone that night, probably hours, six in the morning. And eventually she wound up coming over and it was history from there.

What changed in that connection? Because like you had been friends for, you know, so long, like how come you all of a sudden were like, oh, he's kind of cute and I.

Want to like pursue this understanding life now. Right. So in that moment, we didn't know this understanding life now. He went through a humility stage where he had to recognize that I know what I want to build, it's just do I have the person that will also assist in the building process. Right. That helped me, that will keep me focused and guided. And it's not that I need her to do it for me, I just need her to keep me in a straight path. Right. And they needed to be a life changing experience for him to recognize the value in that. Because I think that's what certain men don't understand. Okay, I know I should have the right woman, but what's the Value in that, you know, and some men need to bump their heads, you know, God needs to knock them out or knock their teeth out to recognize what was the knockout.

The case was literally a knockout. Like, I mean, I pretty much had it life my way prior to that. And to go from having it to losing it, that was like, this is not it. It's gotta be something different. I was. The crazy part is I was, like, praying for certain things in that moment, in that time when it was happening. Because I just realized, like, there's got to be more for me out here than what's going on. Partying, drinking, girls, all that. Every night, I still felt the void. And, you know, it's only about so many women you're going to deal with. It's only about so much drinking you're going to do. I was like, it's got to be more. And I was just in a place where I was praying, really, for, like, what's next, you know, and that was. That was the time that she literally. It was like, perfect timing. In both of our lives, she had went through some things, went through a breakup. You know, I was in a place where I was just tired of what was going on and happening. It was fun, but it's like, yeah, I'm ready for the next level of fun.

How old were you when this happened?

20. 20.

I was 24, so he was 26. So it might have been like, 25.

25, 20.

You know, he was in this lifestyle, like, prior.

I knew he was out there.

Okay.

Me was the motorcycle guy, the guy that everyone just kind of knew. You want to go to how deep he was in it? No, not till later. Shout out to your wife that expunged your record.

Yeah, she sure did.

Within like, a year in. I'm like, wait, let's get this. You know, so Demetrius was the guy that had the hundred thousand dollars under the mattress. You know, I'm like, why am I laying here and all this money, like, this just doesn't feel safe for me, you know? How about credit? How about you put it in the bank and just use your credit cards and loans? He was like, I don't need all that. I got. You know what they say, Cash is king. I got all this money.

Yeah.

I'm like, no, sir, we're not doing that. So that's the beginning of Okay. I realize this is an amazing girl. I realize she's respectful, organized, she has things together. But I don't need her to try to get me together. I just need her to Stay together and let me be who I am right now. There's the friction right now is I love that I tell couples all the time that are dating, what do you love about her? And they'll tell me, you know, respectful and quiet and sweet and, you know, names. All these things organized and structured. I'm like, well, just be prepared that the minute you do seriously date or get married, the devil is going to make sure that all those things annoy you. Right? That's the attack. So yeah, you go, you go.

The attraction becomes the resentment 100%.

And that's what started happening. Know like, you're not gonna. Cuz at this time he has a few real estate properties and he has auto body shop. I go into his auto body shop and I'm like, okay, this thing, chaos, complete chaos. Why does this desk look like this?

But it worked for us. We're all guys.

Yeah.

I'm like, this is not okay. So he told me to hold on to the office for first time. I go to his auto body shop. Still dating. He hasn't even told me, can you be my girlfriend yet? We haven't had that conversation. Still dating. I'm in the auto body shop and he tells me, hold on, he has to go talk to his guys. How long were you back there?

Maybe like 20, I think about 40 minutes.

Desk cleared out things labeled in the folder. Bathroom clean. I was not going to use that bathroom looking like that. Bathroom cleaned. It was just. And I didn't. I don't even know that I noticed to do that for him. It's just, I'm not going to be coming in here and this looks like this. I can't even think right now, let alone you can think. And when he came out, he loved it, right? He was like, wow, this is dope. But then when I started kind of doing it all the time, like, don't try to change me.

Don't try to change my.

Men love in their wives. We see the potential of who they can become. And then you're like annoyed that we're like calling you to rise.

Does it still. Does it still happen now?

Some things, but on different levels. Yeah, it's just at other levels now. But she was definitely something different, which was another reason why I decided to grace her with my last name. You know what I mean? That was a privilege.

Was a privilege. But honestly, the last name that I did have, my biological father wasn't around. So it was like, please give me this last name. I don't need this one.

When did you when did you decide to marry her? When did you decide to get a cool story?

We. That wasn't.

So we got married, 2010. 2008. 2008. So we have this thing called our 22 month story. Right. So again, we're dating. This is meet, you know, the man in Philly. And so we started off wrong, you know, he's. And we hit it off well and we do very well in bed. And he's just amazing. Right? And so as we're dating and have an amazing sexual relationship as well, we started going to church. Cause this man goes to church and he also drums in his church and his pastor loves him. And so we're going to church every Sunday and of course shout out to Pastor Warren Martin. Oh my God. Constantly, you know, you're fornicating and it's a sin. It just going off and you leave Sunday like, oh my God.

Saturday night into 2am Sunday morning.

Smelling like smoke, going to church. I'm like, this isn't okay. And I'm looking at, I look over and I'm like, like, chulo, I don't think this is okay anymore. You know, you don't feel convicted from your pastor. This is your guy. Yeah. I'm like, I think we. I prayed about it and I'm like, lord, if I close my legs, it's completely up to you what happens then if he leaves, just allow me to get over it and not suffer. That's all I ask. And so I said, you know, I think we're gonna have to make a decision to. I'm gonna close my legs. We're gonna do this and we can just remain friends at this point. We already had a real estate property together. We invested in some things together. So I'm like, either way, you're stuck with me. But it's. I think it's the right thing to do.

So how did you feel about that relationship when she brought this down?

I was cool with it. You're good with it.

Okay, so you, you make the decision to close your legs.

Yes, it's time.

And you come to him and tell. Do you tell me it's time? And your response is, I was cool with it.

It's like, all right.

Were you really cool with it?

I was, I was. I wasn't a stranger to sacrifice. That's one. That's one. That was like one of my. Still is one of my superpowers powers. Sacrifice is not something that that comes hard for me. And I knew that anytime that I sacrificed for anything, I knew it was on the other side. So if this was something that makes you feel comfortable and it's something that I have to do, I'm game. Let's go. Was it easy? 100% not. I'd be lying if I said it was easy.

The commitment was easy.

The commitment was easy.

Staying committed, 100%. Did you try to tempt him?

No, no. But he was definitely a.

He was trying to play the line.

Kiss on the neck. I'm like, we can't.

You can't do that.

We can't do that.

Did you stop kissing, too?

No, we kissed, but that's it. It was here, but it wasn't the French kiss long thing. When it became long, you feel it immediately. I think where it went wrong or sideways is that I had a taste of it already and it was amazing. So that makes it even more tempting, you know, but shout out to what Demetrius just said. And to revisit that to entrepreneur men or women, you have to date a partner that understands service and sacrifice. It's not going to work if those two things are not their superpowers or you're going to have to train for it.

What? What? Built for you guys. How long was this phase of no sex before we got married?

22 months.

Oh, it was a long time.

22 months, bro.

I'm sure you. I'm surprised you didn't move that wedding up by like two years.

So we weren't even thinking about wedding. I was definitely not. Ring on my.

Oh, you called it off before the engagement.

You waited the game.

No, there wasn't even a ring on the finger.

You were going to get rid of the.

But at least you knew it was already good and connected that way. You know what I mean? Because how many times you've heard people get married, they're like, it's awful.

I've already drank the ocean. I'm good. I stored up water for 10, 15 years. I'm good.

One thing it did do, you know, as you're in the process of.

Allowed.

Us to see everything raw.

Yeah, yeah.

You there. There was no band aids.

You can't get, like, sex because sometimes can. You can use it against each other.

And it kind of covers it covers shit up, too.

Yeah, exactly.

Sex can cover things up big time.

In a big fight. And then you don't go back and talk about it. You're like, oh, we're good.

And then we're good again. But this was a hard, long 22 months. And I think the beauty in it all, like being on the other side of it now is that we. We had no choice but to get to know who each other really was.

And how to deal with conflicts, how to communicate effectively. Communicate. Because we didn't depend on that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So all the sexual tension was still there. Oh. But it couldn't be released in that way.

Definitely.

So then it's forcing new conversations.

I was telling them when you stepped to grab the door for a second, I was like, we were raised Mormon, and very much it's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And then, of course, we get engaged, and I'm like, nope, you can't even kiss me. You can't even touch me. You know, because it's like, so I understand. Like, that. Like this not sacrifice, but it did. Our communication. When we were dating for two years, like, we just got so connected based off just talking and getting to know each other. And we have couples and friends. We know where the girl uses sex against him or they get it, you know, and it's. And you're like, gosh, you guys should break up. But the sex is just so good that you can't see straight, you know? So I do see, like. I do see the beauty in it, you know, but ultimately, I think there's a lot that has to do with, like I said, at least you guys figured out ahead of time. Like, there was already that connection there. There, you know?

Definitely.

So when do you decide? So you're seeing through the clarity of the no sex fog. There's no fog. And then you decide to get married. Yeah.

Yeah. So during that time, we started building. He started teaching me how to do. He has real estate. He's doing rehabs. And I'm starting to learn what to do in the rehabs. I'm putting towels up in kitchens. And we started building on his credit. He had all the cash, but never used his credit. It wasn't even bad. It was just nothing was ever on it.

Right.

Yeah.

So we started building on that. That's when his record got expunged. What else? We opened up a daycare center during that time together, investment deals. It was just so clear that we can build. And that's another thing, another must. You have to know if you can build with your person before you can love them. And we were able to recognize, okay, we can build something here, solid, an amazing foundation. And now we can also build love on top of that. And I think that was an eye opener for us.

Talk more about that. This. This. That's an interesting concept. You can't love someone unless you can build with them.

It's like there's a level of respect that happens in building together.

Definitely. What was that for you? Like, when you look at that same piece, like this idea of being able, that's a really interesting concept. Build and then love comes. Or love can be possible. If you can build, what. What is your perspective on that?

So for me, starting back at the sacrifice, I. I understood that in order to build anything, anyone involved has to understand sacrifice. Some, there's gonna be different seasons where sacrifice is gonna be required more than others. But I wanted to see if she could sacrifice, be willing to. Right. Most people get in relationships, they're looking to get what they can get from it. And my theory, especially for married couples, like, you don't get married to think that you're gonna have this beautiful picture you saw in your head about marriage. Marriage being husband and wife are titles once you become one, once you marry now you have to actually fulfill the position of a husband and wife. Where most people get married and think there's going to be this bliss thing right out the gate, it's like, nah. Now sacrifice has to be shown. Now you got to be able. Nothing challenges you like marriage. I don't care how successful you are as a man or a woman, nothing challenges you like marriage does. This is a person that is with you. You know, you sleep with, you have to talk to, you have to come home to, you have kids with. You built so much things out, even outside of business with this person. They get to know your flaws. They get to know your strengths. And those are things they could use with you or against you. So nothing challenges you like the person you spend your life with. If you get in position to overcome that together, you guys can build something amazing. Most couples feel like they're gonna start that way instead of building and actually fulfilling a position of being partners together. And I mean, we're talking about marriage, but it's also in business. As business partners, we need to know what strengths and weaknesses we have. Are you willing to respect my strengths? Even though you may be strong in that area, you think you're stronger than me in this area. If these are the positions that I've claimed that we've agreed upon, you won't step over in my lane. Those are all things that you got to work through in building something. And once you get on the other side of it, it's like, okay, not that you won't have struggles or have adversity, but we don't want to have adversity at the same thing we had this time last year.

Yes.

Let's have adversity as something at a level we haven't experienced yet.

Well, that piece of you two we're talking about, we watched this happen with. I mean, we had to stop doing business together for a while because it was going to end our marriage. Because we couldn't respect those lanes at all. Like, it was always her way or always my way. And I had my brand, she had her brand. I was doing my thing. So then we would cross over and these wars would start, and so we would not thought about much of all. Except for the minute we started talking about business, it turned into fuck you. Do you want me to show you P&L's woman the fuck up I am, right? Yeah. You're like, oh, Then I'd be, okay, do it your way and lose. Do it your way loose.

And then I'd be like, why are you talking to me like my boss? You need to talk to me like your husband. He's like, we're in a business conversation.

She'd like, wear the hat forward.

I knew I was losing. I'm like, I'm gonna play the wife card game.

Exactly.

Then she flipped it backwards, over the top, arm wrestle, Sylvester, slow style. She'd be like, you can't talk to me like that. I'm your wife. I'm like, you can't switch targets from partner to wife. Right back to partner. Right back to wife. You can't bring up sex happening tonight when we're trying to have a P and L discussion right now. I was like, I'm not fucking my business partner, but I am. This is like that. Okay, so, by the way, this is not like we don't. There are very few, very few that sit at the top of this married mountain that can pull this off.

Yeah, definitely the one percenter.

Very few. And there are so many more couples, particularly listening to the show, that are in chaos. So help them. How would you start to. How? If they're trying to navigate into this idea of building together. Building together and respecting the lanes either assigned or naturally more, but more talented at talk to the ladies.

For me, if we can just come to the conclusion that love is not enough. Let's take love off the table here. Because love is not always present, right? But the purpose, your goals, your values is what's present always. And that also shifts, but it can shift together, right? So once we realize that love isn't enough, that we can build this thing, if we, number one, know our roles, we have this thing called 12 commandments. And in some of them, I won't go over all 12, but the first one. And this is from case studies of years. Lovepreneur has been around since 2012. We've been doing case studies since then. The number one issue or the number one thing that we can recognize to be able to achieve this goal is to understand what your roles are, know your role, respect that. What happens is, as you said, you try to cross over lanes.

Right.

I'll give you a story of what happened with us. So again, he can make the money, but managing it, he would want to risk it all. The man wants to buy another business every week. The man wants to buy another property every week. And it's like, okay, I got it. I know what the numbers are. Let me help guide you on when you should buy. What? That was me being too controlling. Right. So too into his business. And eventually he had to give up and say, you know what? God put you here for this role to help me. Let me allow you to help me. So he stopped trying to play God in this relationship. And he trusted the position that God had us both in each other's lives. And if we can just take a step back, because we're not going to go through this journey without faith. There needs to be faith involved because there's going to be decisions that are made every single day that requires faith. I have to have faith in all that he does, that God is controlling those steps with him. As long as I know he has a relationship with God.

How do you. How do you. So you two are great, by the way, I really like you both. Talk about, well, I love people who have been down this path. Right. So there's conversation we have with people who are just power entrepreneurs and living life. And then there's people who've taken on not only God's path, but they've taken on. I didn't realize you've been running this since 2012. That was the year I launched Wake Up, Warrior, which means you got reps, girl. Both you guys got reps. I watched some of your content, too, and I was like, they got reps in this. So you come back to this piece of allowing that role to happen and that piece to open up, talk about how you were able to respect what his skills. Because very often right now we're finding couples where the woman much more logical, much more detailed, the man, to infinity and beyond. It's all gonna work every time. And if it doesn't, we'll keep going.

Yep, that's exactly it.

So that's hard.

Just drives a lot of anxiety.

So how.

How knowing that's his superpower to just go like Elena and Grant Cardone are like this. Grant is just go. And Elena's like the queen. Brandon Dawson's like very boom. But he's real detailed too. But Natalie behind him is like. So we're seeing this pattern happen where very Andy Elliott and Jacqueline Elliott. Andy Elliott is just shorter shorts and let's go. And his wife is just very, very detailed. So how in your world have you been. And I'm gonna ask you the same question to you, how did you get to a place where you could respect that's a superpower in his. And let him go without trying to clip his wings? Because we're seeing that happen a lot too. And then I'm gonna come to you the same question. How did you learn how to respect her with the fact that she is more detailed? Clear back to the toilets at the body shop and clean shit up. So from your side, how did you get there? For you.

Yeah. So let's be clear that it got gang related before it got bliss, right? So we were Bloods and Crips here for a long time. And what we realized is if we wanted to get it done, we have to base it off these four principles, which are business principles, right? There's four things that an organization needs and that's the networker, the administrator, the organizer and the risk taker. Right? And we realized, like, wait a minute, I'm two and you're two. You're the risk taker and you're the networker. I'm the organizer and the administrator. This is perfect. So if I do these things and you allow me to do these things, I can get all this that you have on this list done. And if you do these things, if I allow you to network and yes, you have to travel and yes, you have to go out and be at all these events and yes, you have to take these risks and yes, you have to have the next big idea before the other thing that wasn't even completed yet. If I can truly trust you in your God given genius and trust God that he got you, I think we can have something here. We can stop arguing and fighting all the time and vice versa. And it took a little while to understand that, but it truly was founded on faith that my man is grounded on God and I have to give him up to God and he knows what we're trying to build here. And it came with this wisdom and this peace that if I just accept his role in our life and in our empire, I would be at more peace and to stop fighting against what God is trying to do here because I'm not going to win.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm fighting against his God given genius and God. Okay, so I have to worry about me. So what am I great at? I'm an amazing organizer and I'm an amazing administrator. Everything that fits under that, it's me. He has to trust it. Let me just be clear. Sometimes he comes over on this, I'm like, we, you don't need all that. That is my rule. I know all that we need. You're going to have to trust it and vice versa. I'll say you don't need to buy all that. Trust me. Do we have the funds? Yes, I got it. Let me take care of that part. And it has given us so much peace and grace. Let me just add grace and I'll pass it on. I had to accept the different layers of skin that needed to peel off so I can become a more gracious wife. As this entrepreneur dominating fire. I can figure it out. I also realized that I can be the lion, but my husband also needs the lamb. And in that lamb I needed to find grace, which is G R A C E, which is gratitude, respect, affirm him constantly. Commitment and great communication and empathy for the little boy inside of my husband and that is trying to build this empire.

It's like your mic just dropped.

I just. Mic dropped. That was a mic drop. That was on purpose. I did that on purpose. Okay, say the grace one more time. What's the grace?

So it's gratitude, respect, confirm, communicate and commit.

Yeah, we should have took your course a long time ago. This whole grace thing been a whole lot held more helpful.

I have a question though before we move on because there's times like, like I've tried too many roles and I'm like, I'm exhausted. Like I'm tired of like, like you said, like why are we butting heads when we don't need to and our strengths can work together. So how do you get to this place? Where is it just you have to kind of like let go and trust and kind of go with you know what you feel like, how do you like you say it so gracefully. But it just, I think a lot of women are like, they probably can't.

Let go, you know, I'll tell you the one thing that we find, let's say in an example of the man being the entrepreneur and like the Visionary, right? And then it's the woman that is like, here, I'm here with what's up? The man wants this woman to know it all. Like, I need this. So I need you to. I need you to film so you have to be good at content. I need you to edit, so you have to be good at editing. And that's not what she's great at. Like trust what your trust, your partner's genius. Trust what they are great at. That's what God brought him here to do. So if you're great at a certain area. So we started writing down everything that we're great at. He's not good at administration. He's not good at managing the books. He's not good. When was I supposed to pay that contractor? I forgot. That's not his thing. But it's my thing. I'm disciplined. I'm with the dates. I got this. I have the headspace, the capacity to understand and manage the everyday thing. That's just what I was great at, you know, But I'm not great at managing a relationship the way he does. Like he has. He is amazing at managing strong relationships. So I'm not gonna give him advice on that, you know, and I'm not gonna go against the decisions he makes on that. So we literally one day wrote down everything we were great at. And it was more so because I was frustrated because he keep coming at my desk trying to organize what I got going on. I need you to stay where you at. You know, I'm leaving you alone space. And that's number seven in our 12 Commandments space. Giving your partner space and grace to grow in their areas. And so that's what I would recommend. Write down everything that you're great at and be completely honest. And your partner needs to accept that honesty. No, they're not going to be part of your media team. That's not what they love to do, you know, even if it's to manage the family, that's a big deal. You know what? You don't have to worry about managing your family. So you get your entire head capacity on your business. And so many men downplay that role. She is allowing you. I love that LeBron had a video on this and was giving his wife Savannah so much praise for this. She allowed me to be great. A lot of men are not vulnerable enough and are too prideful to admit that their wife is allowing you to grow your million dollar empire because she's taking on so much responsibility that if you had another type of baby mama you'll be all wiped out on the responsibility.

Cleaned out.

Yeah.

And last question before we move on. What's crazy? Like, for me, there's been times where I'm like, oh, I'm not good at this. I'm not good at this. But he pushes me. He's like, no, I want you to be good at it. And I'm grateful that he pushes me when I could stay in my comfort zone and be like, oh, that's not me. I'm not good at that. How would you encourage women that are like, you're like, yeah, that's what you're good at. But you can become so much more. There's like skill sets. It's like doing a podcast, communication, speaking. Like, this is all stuff that I was horrible at. I was like, well, it's just not my personality. I'm an introvert. And he was the one that's like, no, like, like you can do this. It takes repetition.

So I love that question. Leadership. That's the most important piece when it comes to this thing. Leadership as a leader. When you think of like a basketball team, NBA team, these are the top of the top elites when it comes to the sport. But they need a coach. The coach has to be able to sit there and assess everybody on the team, including your wife, including your kids, including your employees, and everything else you need to be able to assess to find out, you know what? I see something that she doesn't even see in herself. My wife sitting today. This is not who Diane was when we got together. Oh, I'm sure there were things about her. There were things in her that I saw that she didn't even see in herself. Again, she came from corporate America. I came from school of hard knocks, but there were things that I saw in her that she didn't even see herself. And understanding as a coach, how to cultivate those gifts and talents that you see as a visionary and as a leader that the players don't even see yet. So that's super important as a leader of your home or business, that you are looking to find out things inside of the people on your team, the players on your team that they don't even see in their self care.

Can you both be leaders for each.

Other or like, pull?

Because I feel like a lot of times in a good relationship, you're like, like, I see things in him. So he doesn't see and he sees. And I think that's like a healthy.

Space to be in 1000%. I'll give you an example of That I realized that certain business meetings that I go to, especially if it's partnerships involved that I'm considering doing, I take my wife with me.

Yeah, she scans them. You scan them, don't you? You know, right out of the gate.

I'm scanning their wife or their girlfriend.

Here's my secret sauce when it comes down to partnerships. Disclaimer. Not that I won't partner with people that are not married, but I rather partner with people that are married. I need to see how you treat the closest relationship to you, because it's only a matter of time before it becomes me. So with my wife there, she's going to intentionally scan the wife, have certain conversations with the wife, because if the wife is miserable, I'm a wind up being miserable as a partner. At some point, everybody puts their game face. They're the greatest person up front. But I need to see how you handle. We need to have some interaction so I can see how you handle the closest relationship to you. Because if you don't handle that one right, it's only a matter of time before it becomes me. May not be this month, may not be next month, but it will happen. Success leaves clues. So does failures. So my theory is she's a secret weapon. And if I chose her to be my partner, why wouldn't I utilize everything that God put inside of her? But what I also realize is that there are certain things that she doesn't even know how to use yet. There's components that God put inside of her that she doesn't even know how to use yet. So as a leader and as a visionary, a I have to have grace and patience with her to grow those gifts and talents. But as a visionary and a leader, understanding what area she'll do to.

She'll do the best in what when you go back to the beginning, like go back like 10 years, 15 years, what did you see in her that she was not activating, but you could see needed to come out?

I mean, her speaking, the way she speaks now, that's. She what, 10 years ago, she cursed like a cellar.

I miss saying them words sometimes. That's why I appreciate when you were saying it.

And she Dominican. So everything's loud, everything's explosive. It's like, hold on, hold on. Let's work on this. Your speaking is so much better. When you gracious in your speaking, you can land a plane a lot better. It's more receptive to people. Now. Ten years ago, she would have been ready to go Dominican. But as she starts noticing, hey, let's try these things out. And it's important to understand how you need to communicate. Communicate to your partner, your team as well. You're not going to communicate to everybody the same and get the result that you want. So I understand as a leader, I got to have grace for her as well. Like she has to have grace for me, but also understanding how to communicate her to get the result out of her that I want.

So you wait till the doors are the bedroom doors close for the Dominican to come out.

Oh, 1,000%.

It gets spicy.

That's when she gets off the news. During the day.

We are.

Does she have a name? This other version of you?

Right? There is a name.

What is the name?

There is a name.

Okay, we got Daniela, we got Daniella, and we got Susanna.

Susanna.

She died. We got rid of Susanna. Shows up occasionally, doesn't remember what happened the night before.

So mine is delicious.

Delicious, delicious, delicious. Well, Daniella. Yes. Our stage ames. And now welcome to the stage Daniela and delicious. A two part time.

Everything, everything hits the bottom. We know how to get back.

Exactly.

All of a sudden he has no problems with me being Dominican.

Exactly. Of course, for everything there's a reason why you're spicy.

I'm like, that's why you like me. Like, and now it's a bad thing.

Right, right, right.

Well, the same thing with Danielle. Like, she was not. I mean, I would come at her about coming on stages with me because I'm a speaking on stage like 20 years. And I was like, come with me to this event. Speak at this event. No, no. And she would get angry. She's like, I, that is your thing. That's not my thing. I'm not doing. Then like 2018, I said, we're doing this podcast. We launched a date wide podcast. I had her launch a hair podcast. And people would talk shit to me all the time on the comments everywhere. Because, like, you talk over her, you never let her say anything. I was like, if we sit here on the podcast and I ask her a question, we're gonna be sitting here for 20 minutes, she's not gonna say anything. And we get around people and they'd be like, dude, your wife's kind of funny. She talks. I was like, I know, I've been with her for a while, dude, but you never know because she doesn't talk when she's around people. Now we're a Stormy and OG's event. I'm saying something. She tries to steal the microphone. She has no problem. She's like, hey, are you Speaking at event. You know, I'm speaking at event. They ask you to speak, I'm speaking to you.

I think I've always had a voice, but I was selective with who I felt comfortable sharing that voice. And then I realized, like, that's not really. That's like doing myself a disservice if I have something to say that'll impact people. I gotta learn how to exercise that voice and learn how to communicate. So it was something actually that bugged me about myself. So when he would be like, you gotta speak? I was like, irritated. But really, I actually wanted that, you know?

Yeah. How did you so comment you made was, when he's in his God flow, this is when your trust comes. How do you know he's in his God flow? Like, what, what is. What are the indicators for you? Let's say my man's in his God flow. I can let go and trust what's happening right now.

When he's building me up during that process.

Okay.

Right there isn't that friction or that feeling of competing with one another, but it's more so a togetherness, an alignment. These are the decisions I'm making. This is where you fit in. He has a clear vision of what's happening. He's able to explain it. One of my favorite books is Vivid Vision by Cameron. And what. What I love about him. Yeah, I love, love him. So what I love about that is he wasn't always the best communicator of his vision and. But once he always had this time with God and had some clarity and had his plans laid out, then I know you spent time with God, you're able to clearly communicate the vision to me, to the team. I can trust that when it's kind of all over place, out of order, there isn't communication, there's friction, there's little competition. You don't need to be a part, you know, that type of thing. It's like, I need you to spend a little more time with Jesus and then we'll come back. Yeah, well, that's my end, I think.

Well, it's like, so it's great advice. Like, literally, I'll be so excited about an idea and I feel like shit shut down. And I'm like, no, I want you to be a part of it. And then he's like, we can't work together. And I'm like, no, I actually see your strengths and I want to work with you. I want to allow this. And it's just. We're still working on it.

I just Pray that your listeners listen to this pattern that we talked about here. You know, where you try to push her. She was reluctant. So there's friction. Wherever there's friction is. It's really pushing you towards your destiny, right? And then inside, she actually really wanted this, but she knew that, right? So you. You got to know what you want personally out of something to understand the vision, why somebody else has that vision for you, why somebody's pushing you towards that direction. So sometimes couples see friction as a roadblock, and it's not. It's actually guiding you to your next stop. And that's the pattern here. And I think too many give up too soon because there's a roadblock, there's friction, there's issues, but it's actually. That's actually pushing you towards your destiny. It's a good thing. Let's figure out the lesson that we're supposed to learn here.

Makes you want it even more, 100%.

How do you know when she's in her God flow? Like, what's the signs for you? When she's doing her part and she's, like, in the pocket.

And you can tell when she's consistent at Diana and not consistent as who she was, as the little spicy Dominican vac. And years back, I mean, she still has a spice to it. I like it. I love it, actually. Just knowing when. When to use it. So when it's when she's using her spice at times that she shouldn't be using the spice, I know she's out of alignment, but when I see her purposely, like, studying, reading, there are times that we may wake up in the morning and she's on one side, I'm on the other side. We're studying, we're reading, reading our Bible, we're praying. Like, we're big on having prayer, making sure we do it with the family. And it's. The flow of the day is just different. When I know she's locked in, she doesn't sound as stressed and bottled up. It's a gracefulness to her voice. When I know she's locked in.

So it makes a difference. That's another hack. If I can share. For couples, particularly if you're entrepreneurial, career driven, read the same books. Because I want to feed him accurate information, not just emotional information, emotional beings, which is great. And because of that, I can have insights and certain things to share with him, but I also want to share with him, you know, factual stuff, stuff that he would also relate to. And there's someone, a mediator, the author behind this, the reason why I feel the way I feel, so I can give him factual guidance. So read the same for sure.

Definitely.

So I know something. You touch him constantly. Was this natural for you in the beginning?

Were you always like, I have to feel his energy? So funny. I explained to my daughter the other day why I do that during podcasts.

No, because it does. Not every couple. But I notice it. It's about every 45 seconds to a minute you'll reach over and touch. Do you notice she's doing it?

So it's. It's twofold to it.

Okay.

A, keeps her calm for her. And B, it's a communication point that we're not talking over each other.

Got it.

So there's like certain things where you're.

Just kinda like, I got it, babe, I got this one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Certain things we do when we. We've done enough. You know, when you do enough of this, you kind of get assisted to it. So where it's not like it doesn't look awkward. We're like, we're pretty much physically communicating.

Is that off camera? Is that way too?

Yeah, 100%. Okay.

When you, when she touches you like that, what does that make you feel as a man? Like, just, just. I'm just. Just a touch. Like what's that do for you?

It. It. I know that she needs a connection from me. That's the biggest thing. I'm a touchy Philly anyway. All day I'm touching her. Or B, she wants to make sure we have a good night. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Setting it up.

Okay, we setting it up.

That's his love language for sure. Mine is acts of service. This is definitely words of affirmation and touch.

Every man.

Oh yeah, 100% so.

But like the wild thing is. So if you look, we're going to pivot this and we already. You guys nailed the shit out of that one. This, this topic right here is another one massive friction point. Right. As much data points as I have on men, I don't work with couples. I work with men. Right. So I get this one side of the equation. Then in the hair world, we work with thousands of women and found the same thing to be true. We launched a few women's programs over the year. Wake up, warrior woman. So have 1500 women in programs with us before and their pre applications etc come in. There's a common thread of challenges with couples as they've been together, particularly post children, sexual chaos and dysfunction, which leads to opening relationships, which never works, which leads to cheating and affairs, which leads to porn addiction and isolation, which leads to hating and violently leads to divorce.

Right.

So we're seeing it happen, watching right now. 73, 74% of divorces filed by women right now are being filed by women. Most of the cheating is happening by women. We're seeing all of this tilt the other direction. And I get to see the side with guys who are in just complete and utter chaos over this conversation. How I chose this woman. I just want to be with her. She rejects me all the time now. His approach is horrible and he doesn't know what to do either. So talk to me about the sex conversation with you two. And then let's take it out to what you've seen with couples that you worked with for the last decade. But start with you guys. Like, how did you. I mean, it sounds like you were very compatible in the beginning. And then we had our 22 month timeout, had to build that sexual tension. We had a motherload that came out 22 months later. It's like, here they are.

That first night, it hurt so bad. I didn't plan on that. I didn't forecast that part. I missed that.

I missed the mark, the outcome of the effect on the closed leg strategy.

I needed to land the plane.

I'm like, jula, it hurts.

So yeah. But yes.

So like, you guys get back in the mix. Talk to me about after the kids. Because again, the common thing we watch happen is that if a guy's gonna cheat is when she's pregnant or after the kids. So typically when it's happening or there's just there gets. The woman changes her body changes, kids become priority. He takes back seat and they go decades.

Life, life happens.

We have guys who come in, haven't had sex in three years, four years we've had guys are having sex every three, six months. We've talked to the women, they feel some kind of way about the guy and he feels some kind of way about her. And it's just they don't talk about what it's been like for you two to work through and navigate through the seasons of your sexuality. And then let's take it to what you're seeing because you guys have a unique. Being our guest, like a unique perspective because you get to see into other couples lives too.

Yeah. So with us, I know I breastfed both of my children two and a half years, both of them. And there was a season of like, I am drained. And during that time we started reading books on this because I know I didn't have any, like, emotional that, you know, what's that when you grow through postpartum. Postpartum, Yeah. I wasn't going through that, but I did feel this feeling of not being supported. And. And that is a trend.

And.

And we'll see that and we'll talk more about that with couples. But the moment we realized that if I feel. And this is what happened with us, if I feel you present and I see that you're helping me out throughout the day, I will feel more sexually attracted or willing to please your need at night because you pleased my need. You were there for me when I needed you, which is when he would help me with the dishes, he would clean the bottles. It was like the sexiest thing at the time because I didn't feel alone. And I believe for us that's what caused some friction with us. That, you know, I was just worn out. I didn't want to. I didn't feel like it. I remember him having a conversation with me, like, I don't want to lose us in the process. Like, I'm supposed to be priority, not the children. And right now I'm not feeling that. I'm feeling it's just all children. And I said, you're right. Well, if I have extra hands, you know, we. We were doing amazing. But not nanny. Extra help in the house. Amazing. And we're still managing our businesses. And I didn't take no time. I'm still managing phone I'm home. But I'm still having the responsibilities. Fine. I'm good with just being available for you, but I need your hands here too. You're always at work, you're always traveling, and I'm just left here.

Yeah.

So it's like you need a need, but I also need a need. I don't want this to be transactional. But what happens now?

Right?

So, you know, we didn't have where we had a drought for a month, but there was times a week or two will go past and we're 15 times, 6 times times a week. We're good. So that was a little scary. And I remember reading in I believe it was the love. Was it love and respect. The love. If you guys don't know Love and respect by Dr. Egberidge, amazing. But one of the things is, you know, a man needs to release to get his creative juices going. And it's like, well, I don't want to stop the money either, you know, so if I got to put my big girl panties on. And even though I don't feel like it emotionally and mentally. I better put my little delicious reverse psychology for myself. Put some cute things on, squeeze the milk out of these breasts right now and just jump on my man real quick. And sometimes you gotta psych yourself. Just like you gotta psych yourself up to get up at 6 o' clock in the morning and work out. Just like you gotta psych yourself up to write out the proposal. You as a woman have to figure out how to psych yourself out for your man, because if his juices ain't flowing, they're gonna flow somewhere. And whether it's in front of a tv, in front of an iPad, or with somebody else, it's going to flow. So you might as well figure out how to flow for you for the next five, six minutes. If you got a good one, you may have two minutes and you good. It's two minutes, you'll be all right.

And if it's been two and a half weeks, you got a good two minutes. Unless you got a second one. Thanks. You got a second one in the chamber and that will go some more, right?

I love that you're touching base on the. You felt like, you know, you just needed your needs met too. And I think it's important to understand, like, yeah, it's a team effort. And if you don't want to, like, you put you, you do for the.

Team, you know, well, you made, you. You started making that shift. I mean, we went through, we went through. We almost, in our marriage in 2016, over.

Well, I felt like it was this, it was a story, like, he's the provider, so I don't, I don't. I'm not allowed to ask for attention, you know, and then I would build up, like, resentment, like, I'm not getting anything from you, and be like, oh, I pay for cleaners, I pay for nannies. I'm like, but I'm not getting anything from you, you know? And for me at the time, it wasn't like, I want you to take out the garbage to do the dishes. It was just like, I want you to acknowledge me, you know, like, so we went through, like, years of, like, it was just very like, I'll throw you a bone kind of sex. And then I was like, I'm not okay with this anymore. But he was going through the same thing too. He's like, I'm not okay with this either. And so then we had to, like, reconnect all that.

It was.

I mean, listen to this side. I'm going to come to your side. Here in a second. Like this acknowledgment of what you're on right there. Is this something about this chair? Because this is like three weeks in a row of women just dropping like bombs. It could be all. Just the heat coming from all these powerful black women coming home just like saying, this is how it is. I'm like, stop. That was great. Say that one more time. So this piece of. Reframe yourself to go like this was. This was hard because she struggled with this a long time too. And a guy. As guys, it's like suffering point.

Yeah.

Like, there is a suffering that men go through. It's the twisted suffering too. Because it's like, I love this woman and I love these children, but what the fuck? How am I going to endure? And then the ones that get it where then she gets pregnant again, like a year later, and then it cycle starts over again. It's like the hopelessness in these men is so deep. Talk about what it's like from your side as she's going through this. And I get this makes you just like. I go into, like, when she would get. When she'd been pregnant six times.

Withdrawn. I was like, I'm still like, I know I have a baby in here.

Kids. Straight on.

Get away.

Get out of here. It was like, you need to sleep. I'm snoring. I'm out of here. You got through to yourself. So how did you. How did you start, like, what was. What was it like for you during that phase when she's figuring out she has to reframe? There's obviously reframes for guys that have to happen doing it. But what. Where were you at as a kids? We're both born now, and you're kind of moving through.

Yeah. So for me, at first, it was definitely frustrating, 100%. Like, I'm, you know, women prideful.

Yeah.

And, you know, like, I tell a lot. A lot of my guys, like, pride is the birthplace of poverty. And it's not just financial poverty. There's poverty inside your marriage. It's poverty with the relationship with your kids. There's. There's all different things that you can apply this to. And what I realized was that as a leader, I had to look at myself in a situation first because it's always easier to look at the other person.

Person.

Let me go take a moment in the mirror of myself and backplay everything that's taking place and how it's taking place. And what can I do different first, before I have the conversation with my wife, it didn't start that way. Full transparency. I was just barking, I need this. And then you realize this woman literally just laid her life on the line to give you a kid.

Yeah.

You don't have to guess. If a woman will lay her life on the line, anytime she gives a kid, she's laying her life on the line. There's nothing you can do better than that.

Nothing.

And so understanding that in the recovery time, not just physically, but mentally, the person that should be the first one to sign up for anything she needs is now barking at her because you can't get sex for a little bit. It's like, grow up. You sacrifice in other areas. Grow up, man up. And that's literally what I had to do. And I had to check myself first before I had the conversation with her. And then the second piece was being able to hear from her what her needs was. What does support look like you through this right now? Obviously it's harder being a first time mom, but as you have more kids, you start to learn, you know, what your needs are. I had to go to her and not pridefully listen, but listen to understand her heart, her being able to say, well, you're not supporting me and me not get offended.

Yeah.

So the moment she has safety, it allows me to now land the plane how I need to in the conversation.

Literally.

Yeah.

And that's what we learned. Most couples don't know what's on the other side or don't trust me. So they don't think about, if I make this sacrifice, this may make our relationship actually better. I want it now. I need it now. You are my person, so it's your responsibility to give it to me. Now the other piece, I'm gonna switch gears for a moment. Most couples don't have schedules when it comes to the family. Kids may go to school, they may have soccer practice or things like that, but literally, my wife created a schedule for everything. New kid, newborn kid. I mean, I have friends now. Like, hey, can your wife put a schedule together for our house? It's going crazy. We need it.

Yeah.

She literally has a schedule that gives time for us to connect and do what we need to do. Instead of me just like, hey, I need that right now.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, can't you see I'm holding? Yeah, what do you want me to do right now? So that's another important piece to create order within the home where there's a schedule. And a lot of people, what they say is like, well, how do you get a schedule as a newborn Kid, you put them on a schedule, they will adapt to it. Just like every. Kids adapt better than adults do because they know nothing else. They haven't been programmed yet. So if you put the program in place, you will see that you actually will have time to be able to have that intimate time with one another and it not be a stressful time.

I was telling him the other day, I'm like, hey, I need more time from you than just like, come home, juggle the kids, pass out, go to bed. And I'm like, and we'll go on date nights, sometimes we'll go with other couples and things out. I'm like, I just need like, just more moments with you.

Yeah.

You know, like, and we've even like, we'll do lunches and things like that. But like, that was even one of the things that we just recently realized. I was like, yeah. I'm like, we almost have to like, we're so busy with life and four kids that I'm like, I can't have like the. Not no offense, but like the worst of you at the end of the day, that's frustrating. Go to bed, you know, then I'm not feeling connected.

Well, it's a hard deal. Please do like if you take like a guy's game. I wake up at 2:30 in the morning. It's the only time I get my own space. Go to gym with the boys, come back, hit the rest of my routine, start standups at 7 o', clock, hit my standup meetings with all the teams across all the brands for the first like three hours. Then I'm in the office, crushing running events, running trainings, doing things, whatever. Get down to six, come home full on, full send with my kids, swimming in the pool, going hot tub, going to the beach, ride the waveners, do the thing, do the bedtime, tickle the backside. Done. Then I come down the hall. You're in a bed and I've been rolling for 18 hours. So it's real hard in that environment to be like.

It is odd.

Please, Queen of greatness and goddess, bask me with your feelings and emotions. Truth. There's a piece of me. I want to go to sleep.

Yeah.

Like, I just wanna. I just wanna and go to sleep. That's it. So it's hard. I've had to like crush, but see, no one was in my world. This is why I talk to dudes right now that are just having babies. I'm like, okay, listen up.

Yeah. Public announcer Garrett is here to give.

You some counsel because you're about to fuck up the next 10 years of your life if you don't play this pregnancy game, right? The last couple kids. Cause like I screwed them all up. I didn't do my son correctly from his first relationship. I didn't do the pregnancy with the first two older girls. Right. I didn't do baby number four. I just.

Well, you got so many.

You gotta keep God's like, try again, try again. The last one I remember to single having a vision of she was pregnant was like Charlie was born in December. It was like the fall of whenever. What? 21. 20, 21. And that was a vision. I saw us on our anniversary trip and I had done shit right. And I saw the sex and the connection and the intimacy and the trust. All these things that I couldn't see in the first pregnancy. Like, it's like I did everything wrong because of that one thing you're talking about, which is there was not anyone in my world to cross check me or I. No one was talking about this. Hey dude, cross check yourself right now. Get your under control. You're gonna lose this. You're gonna get in this moment and lose a decade. Because she'll do it and she'll be upset and scarred over it.

Yeah.

Because she doesn't feel validated. But I have any of that. Like me first. I mean do. I'll be 49 this summer. Nobody's talking about this shit, bro. Yeah, who's talking about this? Who's talking to me? Who's talking to my world as a rookie entrepreneur 24 years ago where all my mentors cheated, did drugs and just hustled money and were hoarse for money. I didn't have anyone. I just knew I didn't want to be poor. I was like, this girl came from money. I came from trailer parks, cornbread and powdered milk stock in California. I didn't know shit. I was like, I'll tell you what, I hardly even feel worthy with her. I'm going to get paid. Paid?

Yeah.

No matter what. Even if that meant work six days a week, 18 hours a day and never see her. I thought I knew. So I was like, I thought I was doing the right thing. There wasn't couples like you. There wasn't Lovepreneur, There wasn't Wake Up Warrior, there wasn't any kind of podcast. We didn't have cell phones doing the technology where Razer phones could barely text each other. There wasn't all the YouTube content, there wasn't all their available. That's why the young Kids. I'm like, hey, yes.

Well, it's. It's interesting because when we were first married, I told you guys, we were, like, married in, like, the Mormon culture. So it was like, for us, I was like, oh, he's the provider. Like, I can't communicate. I can't say my needs. Like, I just need to, like, appreciate and respect that he's going out and hunting and being the provider, only to realize that's building up resentment. So we had, like, five, seven years, two kids later, lost everything where I was, like, I don't even think I like you.

You didn't like me.

Like, that's where we were. And so then it was.

I didn't really like myself.

We. Then we had. We had the opportunity. We literally, like, rebuilt our life and had went on to have two more kids. But we're like, God, why didn't. Why is nobody talking about this, you know?

And how much it costs to do that.

One of the important pieces from a man's perspective is and Eric Thomas, I don't know if you ever heard of.

Oh, ET Is great.

One of his soundtracks on one of his albums. And, man, it smacked me in the face so hard. He said, I don't want to be a. I'm paraphrasing, but pretty much it was like, I don't want to be a public success and a home failure. Like, for me. I remember going to a funeral one time back in Philadelphia, where we were from, and the older woman that knew me as a kid asked me, hey, are you being a good husband and a good father? And my response to them was, I mean, I could tell you anything. I can answer with any words in my heart to answer. I said, to honestly get the. The truth from that, you have to ask my wife and kids. Now, if I wasn't being the husband and the father that I was, I wouldn't have been confident enough to do that. So I'm big on making sure that I. And I don't have it all right. It's a work in progress even now, today. But I'm highly conscious of making sure that I'm not out in the world. Everyone's congratulating. Oh, man, you, man, I see you doing this. You got this going on. You got that. And you know that can mess with your mind if you're not strong enough and grounded enough as a man to come home to your wife and your kids and not feel like you're supposed to get the exact same thing. Those people don't know your weaknesses. They don't know your struggles. They didn't sacrifice with you while you were on your building stage. All these things that your wife and kids have to go through with you, they don't have to. So for me, it's like, if this is my queen, I have to make sure that I put as much as many people that I help out in the world and out in the streets every day, and I can't come and devote some time and helping and making sure my wife tank is full. Then I'm a public success and home failure. And I refuse to be that. It's a work in progress. I'm getting better at it day by day. But I ask them, like, what can I do better? What is it you need more of from me? And then the other piece that's super important when it comes to scheduling is when I know certain seasons are gonna be more. It's gonna require more of me for business. We sit down and have the family. We have a family meeting every month. And then her and I, we have our meeting once a week. And I let the family know. And this is when they weren't even. They couldn't even understand what I was talking about yet. But I knew that if I suited, if I were sowing the seeds before they even understood that it would grow the harvest that we wanted. And I would literally tell them, hey, during this season, I'll be traveling more, I'll be working more, and if I'm taking trips, these are dates that I'm going to be out because kids are going to. As a leader, if you don't let the kids know what's going on, it's easy for them to lean to their own understanding that Daddy doesn't want to be around us, not understanding all the sacrifices that you're out on the front line making so that your family can live the way they live. I don't want them to think for themselves in that area where me as a leader, I should be communicating that to them.

I like that.

So I explain, hey, this July, Daddy's not gonna be around as much. This is what Daddy has going on. I'm gonna be in this city. I got these meetings, I got this going on, that going on. So it's clear that it's not. Daddy doesn't want to be with his family. He's busy. But what I also tell him what I'm doing and then what the return on the investment of them not having Daddy around in that moment will be for them. So now not only are they looking for me to Come back. They're also looking for their return. Right when I get back. That was to have so many problems in so many households if men were just wise enough to get that.

Yeah.

Did you do that when your kids were like, little?

Oh, yeah.

Because it's like, funny because, like, our little ones, like, they'll get starved for his attention if he's working a lot or traveling. But I don't think the 3 year old would necessarily understand it, you know, and so I'll see them kind of cling on to him and he's like an amazing dad when he's here, but he's working a lot, you know, so did you just, did you start doing that when they're pretty little?

I started doing it before they even understood the words that were coming out of my mouth. Because I wanted to be a regimen. I wanted to be something that we did all the time. And I knew they would catch on. It's only a matter of time before they catch on. I don't want them to ever have to worry about thinking, daddy doesn't want to be here. Yeah, as a kid, I had both of my parents in my life growing up. But as a kid, I remember certain friends, you know, we're playing basketball or football or something like, yeah, my dad said, he's going to be here. And then they score, they do something great and they look on the sideline, daddy's not there. And I remember the tears like it was yesterday. I said, I don't ever want to grow up to be that. Any amount of money would mean nothing to me. If my kids grow up later on in life and get interviewed by somebody and say, hey, how was, how was, you know, how was time with your dad? How was dad?

When.

No, no, no, you're not going to have that to say, daddy was there. There were certain seasons, but he let us know when he was going to do this or do that. And if I could talk to any man, regardless of what position you're in, regardless of how much money or businesses you own, it's simple conversations with the family to let them know what's going on.

So.

So their thoughts, even as a wife, their thoughts are not just, you don't want to be here. You're explaining why you're not there, why you're making these sacrifices, that me not being here is benefiting you. There's no one that can grow anything great and not sacrifice time away from the family. It's just. Just won't happen. Possible, you know?

Yeah.

So.

So this piece you keep the connection there. Like you're making an intentional effort. It's not like you're like, oh, my God, excuses. I'm working a lot, so then I don't have to communicate to this my. To my kids or take family trips or do the things. And I love that you just said there's seasons. Because I tell everybody I train thousands of hairstylists. I'm like, listen, there's times you're going to have seasons of hustle, and you have to make sure that you, as a partnership, like, understand, like, this is a season where I'm supporting you, you're supporting me, but then making intentional, like, trips. Like, he's going to be traveling next month. So I'm like, hey, we're gonna do a quick weekend trip down to Turks and Caicos or whatever. And so that we know that we have, like, the same weekend together before he's about to go travel or speak or whatever.

I like to tell entrepreneur men and relationships and funny Pastor Rich from Vood Church. I don't know if you guys are familiar with him. Shout out to him. Yesterday during service, he said one of my favorite scriptures, which is dope First Corinthians. Knowledge puffs up, loves builds up, right? And what happens is during your hustle season or while you're being great out there in the world, you know, more you learn, the more people you meet, the more accolades you get, you know, your knowledge, you start puffing up, you know, and forget the love that your family needs and the buildup that they need at home because you're so up here. And that pride is the beginning of failure is what he was explaining yesterday. And I thought that was so powerful because we need to check ourselves. Allow your success to humble you so that failure doesn't have to, right? So as you're out in the world receiving all this attention and the asking and the applaud, just know that there are those that are at home also wanting to celebrate you, but they don't know you. So as you're following what Demetrius is saying, for years you haven't done that. So don't expect a turnaround time by Tuesday, that everything is going to work out great. Because now I had the conversation and they still not doing, you know, still don't understand where the energy is still low in the house or they don't celebrate me like they other people do. But it needs to be consistent. There needs to be a pattern there of it.

And one more thing to that, because I just want to land the plane with What I was saying, I love.

That land the plane has like, so many meanings.

So many meanings.

Let me sexually land the plane with this audience.

Nice and raw.

Land the plane with my girl over here. Later letter Dominican in full sin tonight.

To that man, that father, that husband that may be dealing with exactly what I'm referring to. Understand that it's not too late. There may be a father right now watching this, that you have not maybe had the greatest relationship with your children because you were not. No one was able to tell you what will be on the other side of being so passionate about building your empire and all the sacrifices that come with that with family. But it's still not too late. Regardless of what level or what age your kids are, they still need you. And if you're willing to do the work, as my wife said, it's not gonna be an overnight thing to get things where you may want it to be, but if you're willing to do the work, it can all turn around. Everybody wants their mom and their dad if they're alive. So definitely, you know, be willing to do the work. Have some, some, some grace for your children and just really find out a way to connect with them. Easiest way is to connect with them what they are attracted to in the season of life they're in. And that'll be literally your segue in.

That's. Well, his son didn't come into our life TILL he was 18 years old. And I was like, hey, right now he's your friend. Like, you need to ease into this. But now, like, he works for him. He moved down here with us. Like, he calls me mom. Like we're very close, you know, and he really didn't.

He.

His ex wife lived in Canada, so there was just. We didn't get to see him a lot growing up. But I love that you just pointed out, like, it's not too late. Cuz now we're all very close. He comes in, my girls are close, and it feels like a complete family, you know, that's great.

So for time, here is where we're at. We. We've got this lovepreneur. Tell us about this thing because we, we do a podcast to couples. We have messed around with the idea of doing something with couples. And then we just keep making babies. Now that I'm snipped, maybe that'll be in our future. But for now, you and me both.

Exactly.

I'm like done blanks. But we're still good. So share. In a couple minutes, we wrap up the. What is the concept around this that you guys have going on with Lovepreneur. Because we have so many couples listening. We so like way more couples listening to the show than I thought. I thought we were just having a fun time doing a show and sending it to my clients and all my students and found out it's like doing way bigger than we thought, which is great. So there's gonna be a ton of couples particularly connect with you guys that are here on the show, that are listening to this, are gonna watch it. We have tons of views, downloads on the show ever. Millions of views and downloads every couple months. So what is Lovepreneur? How could you being around you two as a couple? Like I said, it's unique because it's working with couples that are powerful together. And then there's powerful couples who had to elevate. I call them king and queen makers. There's kings and queens and there's king and queen makers. God's called certain individuals and couples to be mentors and guides to kings and queens as they're building their kingdoms. So this has been going as long as. Wake up, warrior. Talk to us about LovePreneur.

Yeah. So we work with celebrity and entrepreneur couples that want to continue to build and scale their business and their relationship. They want to keep hold of their relationship. So since 2012, we were black card only. It was invite only. This was obviously before the wave of the Internet, and it was very just. You were invited to be part of this. You had to make a certain amount of money and you had to be. You don't have to be married, but you have to be in a relationship and trying to build something where there's a new business you want to build. You know, we have actors, but they want to go into the restaurant business or the car business or real estate and just want to be in alignment with their partner, then you call an Lovepreneur to make sure that that happens. As you know, or if you haven't heard, one of the things we talk about all the time is there was a study done, and it was posted on the Journal of Psychology and of many other studies that have supported this concept. But if you support your partner, your partners, business dreams and goals, if you learn how to do that, because it's a process of learning, your own personal network will increase by 77%. So if you are in the business world, if you're a celebrity, you know, you want to get that money, you know, and if I learn how to support my partner and they learn how to support Me, our net worth together will increase by 150. That's an investment worth, you know, fighting for, worth investing in. So we created the Lovepreneur and we brought you guys a gift. All right, So I want to tell you a little bit about that. All right, so this is what we call our platinum box. But obviously you guys are platinum. In our platinum box, once you do, like, sign up for our program, you know, you get a whole bunch of goodies. But these are one of everythings. Now you're going to be exclusive because we no longer have dresses anymore. Now, these are all things that we just kind of give out to who signs up.

Right.

So a lot of things. The T shirts are available for others. I had to guess your sizes, so you let me know. That changes. This is a little bit about lovepanor, but I want to show off this dress. We also have our devotional in here. Chula, you can take up the. The devotional. The devotional. What we love about that is spiritually led. And it's a one year devotional. And it's for a couple to sit down. Who has never had these types of conversations. The ones you're talking about, the 23 year old, it's like, what do you mean? I got to talk to my partner. You know, what do I do? What is. Know your role? What is be a team. What is it? You know, contentment is not an option. What do you mean by space? Why is it so important for us to be givers? You know, all these things, the 12 things that connects you in the business world. And he's this cute little dress that I know you're gonna love. No one else can get this. Like, this is the last black one in your size. And it's so sexy. And she can wear it as.

What's her nickname again?

Right, right. Yes. Very sexy. And it does the booty well, my love. So here you go.

Yeah, I'll wear and tag you guys.

It's a cute dress. And it's just because sex is also a big deal for us in this, you know, being sexually attracted to your partner. Hence why the dress? But yeah, so that's what Lovepreneur stands for. In our goal, our mission is to help couples to continue to build their empire. Too many are given up too soon. They're building generational wealth with their communities and everything else. But then they're literally, like, wrecking their.

Home and their children.

And it's like, well, which generational wealth you're trying to build here?

Exactly.

Outside or inside? So we're trying to avoid that.

Where would they go? We'll obviously tag everything up on the show. But where. Where would they go? Is there specific to learn about?

Yeah, absolutely. Just to make it super easy, you can comment. Love to 215-Text. Love to 215-461-3589. And just let them know where you're, you know, tagging us from, where you're texting us from. You heard us here. And we'll make sure to take care of you. Perfect.

So I'm sure there's.

Did you get that number, babe?

No, but Matt got it. Matt got it. I memorized two numbers. Mine and yours. Everything else I have to reference. Well, I appreciate this. This is fantastic. We'll use it. And she'll. We'll read this. I might be naked. Since it appears that the kit for the guys is nudity. I'm okay with it, though. Very comfortable naked. No one wear that dress.

That's right.

Reverse. Or I'll just wear the T shirt without my bottoms.

There you go. There we go. Very sexy.

I am certain there's a lot of collaborative things we could do together. Right? So one of the things that we're. One of the things we're launching. I'm very excited about a wicked warrior. It's been years since we've done our big events. So May 17th, man and arena tour. We'll have 7,000 men together. All races, all different levels in the game, but all pursuing the same thing. But it's different. Right? So you do a couple stuff with guys when you have 7,000 men in an arena led up with the top 10 move men's move in space which who work full time with men. It's magnetic. It's intense. Very intense. But it's also same intense. You have a couples putting couples and power couples around it. And we actually consider we're talking about this if we did the man arena tour, but at the same time, we had women in the arena tour happening same time. But then check this. No accidents. We were literally talking about this. We should do a couple's thing the day after the arena tour.

Hey, that would be beautiful.

Look who showed up. Lovepreneur. So let's see. We'll talk more of this off the show and see if we can't put some together. Be amazing.

What about a dating segment for those that are singles and.

Oh, for sure. We've been asked for a dating app.

Game date thing on that day.

Like, see, we could. We have a ton of single, very powerful men who are divorced or never married, who are like, how do I find the one? And then I keep meeting women everywhere. They're like, when are you going to give me a warrior? I was like, I don't have an app for that. I don't know what to do with you.

You guys, you've been in the beauty industry too.

Yeah.

We got so much to talk about.

We got a lot.

We got a lot to talk about.

So listen, we'll wrap this show up.

You guys.

You guys got amazing new brand new guests. And again, like I said, once in a while, about every couple months, we have somebody comes on the show who actually has reps and experience a decade of it, not just in living powerfully as a couple, but leading other couples. So our goner. Our honor to have both of them here. Check out all the links in the show. Go check out LovePreneur. We will post pictures of Danielle scantily clad in the gear. Daniella will be in full effect when we do this. And we're going to see if we can restart the 30 day sex challenge. We have failed every time. We've yet to make it past three days. I end up saying something stupid or I pass out and snore real quickly. So we're going to fix that. Also, I'm going to spell mind you up one more time, man. Arena tour tickets have been going on fire as we released them here just starting a week ago. First stop for the tour, Salt Lake City, Utah, May 17. Seven thousand men in one arena. This thing is going off. We've got groups building events the day before, bringing 500 other guys in, doing an event the day before, masterminding, then swinging over the arena with us to join into the most fiery and intense sessions that we've ever run. If you're a man that's looking for increased power and production and perspective and purpose in your life right now and you need tools and support, well, we got you on top of that. Also, check out all the free tools we have available for you@wakeupwarrior.com My friends, it's been amazing. You two are beautiful people. Thanks for being here. And that wraps up this episode of another episode of the date your wife podcast.