From Taboo to Tantalizing: Unleashing the Power of Sex and Connection

I think sex is the only thing you can't have too much of. Actually, I think you can have too much of.

I'm pretty sure you can overdo that, too.

We did that. We overdid that. We had a bender in March, in December. It wasn't overdue, but I counted. Do you know how many times we had sex in less than four weeks?

I don't know.

Don't even have a guess. What's a guess?

12.

12. Wow. No, that's an understatement. Would you like to know the real number?

Did you really count?

I counted in four weeks. Would you like to know how many times we had. Welcome to this week's Date your Wife podcast, brought to you by Pellegrino Water.

That's not true.

Nope. But we like to drink it.

You didn't use it.

You don't have to drink sparkling water. Till I started drinking sparkling water.

Yeah, now it's funny. Like, now I kind of crave it. It's a weird flavor, but it's.

I don't know why. Do you know why I started drinking Pellegrino?

Because you were drinking beer and then you're trying to give a beer.

I was not drinking beer and I was drinking Feel Freeze and I was drinking sparkling water. And in the beginning, the Feel Frees were great. They were fantastic, and they made me feel free. And then about 10 months after drinking, I'm breaking every single requirement that they say, please drink one a day. And I was like, one. Did they miss a zero?

Should I drink that? When did something like something good turned bad so quickly?

Then everything. Too much of anything.

Too much of anything.

Too much water, you die. Too much.

Too much working out, you'll die.

Too much working out.

I mean, your body's in flames.

Too much of anything.

It's just too much of anything.

Too much money. Die. Well, I think sex is the only thing you can't have too much of, actually. I think you can have too much of actually.

I'm pretty sure you can overdo that, too.

We overdid that. We had a bender in March into early April. It wasn't overdue, but I counted. Do you know how many times we had sex in less than four weeks?

I don't know.

Don't even have a guess. What's a guess?

12.

12. Wow. No, that's an understatement. Would you like to know the real number?

Did you really count?

I counted in four weeks. Would you like to know how many times we had sex? 37. Wow. Wow is right.

You know what is wild?

We've ever had a 37 month in our entire career.

Well, our career or marriage?

You know, career.

What's wow is that we have come a long way in life.

We have.

And we've been married for 20 years in August. But it wasn't always that way. In fact, we. We had a therapy session on Tuesday when we do our podcast, and we actually talked about sex. But it was like a good, healthy topic. I mean, like a good, healthy conversation. Yeah, like, well, no, I literally, I've been. Yes. And I've been preaching this since at the beginning of the year. Sex or no sex, men and women want the same thing. And which I believe is connection. And we did a podcast a few weeks back where I was talking about, like, sex is mandatory inside of marriage, but you can have very connective sex. Does that mean you can't connect other ways? No, but I feel like sex is a tool that we were given by God to experience on this life and that we were both raised in Christianity, where it's very much like sex is okay, only certain under certain circumstances. So it's like. It's like I felt like I really had to. Being grown or being raised in the Mormon frame, I really had to. We got married young. Like, it was something that I had to work on individually myself for, to operate at a higher level of connection with you. And I had felt like over the last, like, four or five years, I kind of just let go. I let go of fear and guilt behind sex, and I just allowed myself to be free and see what would happen. And in doing so, I was like, wow, this is a very. I realized it was a very powerful tool. And so that's why, like, I'm like, hey, I think it's. I think it's mandatory. If you have two healthy people in a relationship, why would you not be having sex? It's a tool given to you to connect on a very intimate level. Level that can be. I'm not saying can't be done in conversation, but this, the act itself for me, like, when I describe it and our therapist said it, like, best, he's like, it's like ecstasy for a woman. And it really is. It's like the moment where, like, everything is free to me. And I'm like, in this, like, this very euphoric moment, and it's very connective to me. Does that mean I can't, like, have very connective conversations? Sure. But in that moment, it's just different.

So you feel the most open, vulnerable, and Connected during sex.

I would. There's a piece of me. There's a piece of me, like, when I'm enjoying it, that I can't control what's going on. And I'm like, this is. I'm very. I feel like women are very, like, at least for me, I'm very, like, not controlled, but, like, I can dictate how things happen. So it's. It's a. It's a safe space for me to feel very free and vulnerable. And I think that's. That's a. That vulnerability is a strength. It's not a weakness. And I love feeling free. So it's very euphoric. Like, it just. It's an experience that is. It's very spiritual for me. It's very connective. It's almost sometimes can be like an outer body experience for me. So anyone who doesn't have that, I'm like, you're really missing out. Like, I don't know what to tell you, but I had to let go a lot of judgment and guilt on myself and the culture and everything else. And I kind of. I feel very free with. With the topic of sex now and our relationship with sex to the point where I've been like, last night, I'm like, hey, I almost. It's almost like I'm like, I want you to be free with me, and I want you to know, like, I'm not gonna. Like, I want you to flirt with me and. And I want you to. I don't want to be the initiator. I want you to initiate. And you're like, how do I do that? I'm like, I don't even want you to ask. I just need you to make the moves.

Well, we talked about, like, what had gone on first off, our therapy. You're doing a great job being fluid in this conversation right now, sharing, proud of you. You're sharing things you've never shared with me until today in therapy.

It's a safe spice.

Yeah. Well, I'm saying here we are now on the podcast. This is good news. We come to the podcast after therapy for two hours every week because we want people to content. That's real. And we've already processed through it. So we're good to talk about it. Yeah, we're very good to talk about shit, even if we haven't processed. But our therapist today called Sex from Sex is the Father. He said that the God is the author of Horny. I liked it. That's true. He's like, I probably wouldn't say in the church. But God is the author of horny, which is true. Like, I tried to tell. But I was, like, trying to tell you this for years when we first were married.

You know how many women.

That's Fucking hornies.

You know how many of your little Christian Bible belt ladies are gonna. They're gonna. They're gonna create a. A segment just of that where you're gonna say, God is the author of Horner, and you're gonna have a bunch of Christian ladies coming at you.

That's good. Well, they should look at me. Wouldn't. Why wouldn't they come after me? Have you seen me recently? I'm getting huge lats.

Almost, like, just spit out my.

Nothing turns on a Midwest Christian woman and lats. It's cowboy style. It's like you're getting those big lats from bucking that hay. I don't buck any of that hay, though. I do lift with my trainer. Anyways, coming back to the sex topic, like, we. I mean, we went through some pretty intense stuff today, but, like, in therapy, like, talking through it, like, there was a. I. I was just coming to terms last night because you said, why. Why don't you initiate? And I said, I think if I can count on the hand, one time, on one hand, the number of times I initiated in the last 10 years.

You know what, though?

But I was sharing that. And you were like, really? And I was like, yeah. And I. And I was sharing in therapy today. There was a point. So what happens to a guy when he's being rejected? So there's two kinds of guys inside. Let me. Let me get this thought out. There's two kinds of guys inside the situation. When you're in a relationship with a woman who you love, who you want to have sex with, you think she's hot from every angle, every direction. Pregnant, not pregnant, doesn't matter. You're like, she's fucking hot. I want to. I want to fuck her. And she's mine. She's my woman. And people are like, oh, my God, I can't call her a woman. No, she's. That's how the guy thinks. Guys like, this my woman. They don't think, oh, this is my sweet soul. This is my sweet daughter of God that I'm connected to. Nope, this is my woman. I want to fuck this woman. And the. So the woman's denying it. She's saying, no, no, no, no, no. And you can't have this vagina, and you can't have sex with me, and you can't Then the guy is left with this like rift of a decision and part of the guys will just get super angry and then they will go cheat. They'll just go do something else. They'll emotionally cheat, they'll sexually cheat, they'll go to porn every single night. They'll do something to cope. And then you get the other side, which is guys who just shut off and they withdraw and they say something like I did 10 years ago, which actually is longer than that. It was about 13 years ago. I remember sitting there one particular night, it was about 11 years ago and I remember saying to myself I'd gotten rejected again. I was like, I am. I refuse to be rejected again. And the fastest way not to be rejected is never ask. So it became the only thing in my life that I never initiated sex with you ever. So it created this weird hesitancy because you were saying, I need you to take me, I want you to devour me.

I wasn't saying that back then.

Not back then. Hell no. You were saying back then. You were like, please get the fuck away from me. I was like, you were ninja chucking me. Just so. You shifted though. But I'm still. My brain has still been stuck in the past frame, which is I'm not going to ask because I'm tired of being rejected, but I still love you and I'm not going to cheat. Like I love you and I want to be with you and I'm not going to cheat, I'm not going to flirt, I'm going to shut it down.

How many relationships do you think operate in that space where I'm not going to cheat you like you're my person, I'm in this for life, but I'm not happy. But I already committed to you and because I committed, we're binded. And even if I'm not happy because there's too much they think to risk, they're like, well, if I say that I'm not happy, then I risk. Like they say, no. They think they like, maybe you're in a successful. You're that woman who's very taken care of. And if you voice that I'm not happy with feeling this or whatever it is, then you're like, well, then I lose my family and my money. So then you settle with like, I'm not happy, but it's okay because it's like, I'm fine. Like you just tell yourself I'm fine, I don't need sex that often. Like we can just come together at night. And I think you and I are in a space where I'm like, I'm not okay with that. And, and for me, like, as much as, like, back, you were like, hey, I'm not okay with sex not being a part of our relationship. That was one of the things that I discovered this year was I last. And I shared this in therapy and I've shared this, but I want to share this on the podcast. But like, last year when you had your biggest event of the year, you're going into Warrior Con, and then it was like back to back coaching consults and you were out of town for literally, I felt like three months. And it was just. I was like, okay, I have to keep my mouth shut. I have to be the supportive wife. And I went into shutdown mode, too. So as much as guys go into this shutdown mode of like, I've got a hustle and grind, the women go into this space, whether you're a working woman or not, of like, okay, I'm going to shut down too, because I just got to support him and we'll get through this and then we'll reconnect when it's all over. And I realized, I was like, that. I'm like, I'm sorry, but, like, if you're dating somebody and they're traveling or they're working a ton, you. If you go into shutdown mode, you're no longer dating. And I was like, so how come when you're married, you say, like, oh, to support my husband, I have to go into shutdown mode to. I don't want to burden him with me wanting to connect with him more. And so I realized that I had done this. We'd been married for 20 years. You had huge events. There was a lot at risk for our family. And I went into, like, in order to support my man, I just have to shut down and support him and not have this connection. Whether connection was like nightly phone calls or whatever it was. It was almost like this protective mode of like, he's not going to be emotionally available for me, so I'm not going to be emotionally available. And then I realized at the beginning of the year when I was like, why am I so resentful towards my husband making money for our family? And I was like, why? Does that logically make sense? It does not. And the only thing I came to consciousness about was, I am resentful because I let him disconnect. And I didn't say, hey, I can support you traveling, I can support you taking care of our family. But what I'm not okay with is not having daily connection. What I'm not okay with is because you're in work mode, that you go into shutdown mode and I go into shutdown mode, and I realize that I'm like, I played a role in me not fighting for this connection, which in turn, you need that when you're hustling and grinding and working. You need that connection. That connection, when you and I are connected is a superpower. It is a strength so that you can do the hard. If you come disconnected, your life goes away, and everything else in its path will be a shit show because your relationship is a show. But if your foundation is strong, chaos can go around the foundation, but your foundation is still strong. The wind can blow, but nothing will rock your foundation. You can quote me on that.

You can quote me on that. Just channel that. Straight from the kingdom of heaven in the pocket, you and Jesus had a little to a double tango. All right, so listen, I, I, I have, I love all this expression, by the way. I like, I like all the feelings in it. I like you sharing. I like you being honest. I love hearing your emotions and feelings. That's not been something you've been very strong at over the years.

I've always been a very opinionated, passionate person.

Opinionated and passionate is very different than being empathetic and emotional.

I'm working on that piece.

Yeah, I'm saying that's what I'm saying. That's not really been like a, like a necessarily strong, you know, for you.

You know, I realized today it's gonna come across real bad.

Okay.

And not really, but this is what I realized about myself today. I actually feel like I am a sweet person. I feel like I have a. I feel like I genuinely care for people. I do. I do. I really, I want, like, with even, like, with everything I do with inside my academy, like, I really love seeing people win. I love seeing their success. I love it. I think it's fun to see growth. And I realized inside of caring for people, I have this thing where when they do something stupid, I'm like, why the fuck would you do that? What the fuck is wrong with you? That's literally like the first thought that comes to my head is I'm like, inside your head. It's like, I'm like, so. I'm like, so annoyed. I'm like, why would you do that? And then I'm like, don't be annoyed. You can't help them if you're annoyed. But, like, I can't Help it. My brain's like, why the fuck are you doing that?

It says fuck.

It says that. It's like, I'm, like, so annoyed by, like, the simplest behaviors. I'm like, what made you think that was a good idea?

Right.

Why?

Right.

I don't know why. My brain just. It just does that.

Maybe you're evil.

No, I just am, like, I just don't know why. Like, I feel mean.

It could be evil. Maybe you're a mean girl. No other life. You're a mean girl from the high school show.

I literally, I'll be like, how does that logically make sense to do that?

Probably doesn't.

It doesn't.

But you think it. So it's true. I think it.

And then I just move on. And I. I. I'm, like, irritated a lot by, like.

Think about that. Sometimes with some of the sex moves I try to make.

No, I just realize, like, little things irritate me. Little things irritate me. And I'll be like, why Little things irritate me. I don't know why.

Yeah, well, it's. Human beings. Human beings all get irritated. You just have your way of getting irritated. Okay, so we. We had a experience during therapist. Like, nice.

You were into it.

Do you want a chair? What? Do you want to pass? You can pass.

We can pass for that.

Okay, we'll pass. All right. We'll come back to it later.

I think it was good because I think it got the point across.

I did get the point across. It was very effective.

It was very effective.

Yep. Let's just give you what it was. My wife was required to sit on my lap.

I know from my pastor.

I'm not gonna say anything else.

Okay. I was like, now I feel like you have to tell him. It sounds weird. We're in therapy and you're required to sit on my lap.

The therapist said he wanted to watch.

Now you have no. Okay. I feel like I should tell the story.

Okay.

No, you tell it. You've already told them. Now it sounds weird.

I haven't told him anything. I just said you sat on my lap.

During therapy, my wife was required to sit on my lap.

Super weird with therapists watching through a zoom.

Yeah. Awesome.

Nothing weird about it.

You're like, but we're not going to share, and I'm going to leave it at that. It's super special.

Well, it's up to you. If you want to share, we can. If you don't. If you don't, we don't have to. We can just Move on. I'll talk about something else.

No, we have to. I'll close the loop. All right, off you go. I. So I. Earlier in the night. Last night was like, oh, man, I feel like I'm coming down with a cold, and I think I'm gonna start my period. Women share that. I don't know if you guys care. If they're like, are you telling me that?

But now we hear it. And what we immediately hear is, ah, not getting late tonight.

No, I.

Well, typically, first night of the period is not. I mean, I don't have problem with sex on the period.

Okay. But that's not why I was sharing it. I just wanted you to not interpret me being, like, a little bit tired or run down as, like, I. It's some. It was almost like, not me saying, I don't have sex. It was, like, kind of the opposite. I was ready for sex. I was actually thinking, okay, hold on.

Okay, boys, so we've just gotten a translation. I'm gonna make sure everybody gots it. When your wife says, I feel a little sick and I just started my period, what she really is saying, come on, take me.

Okay, you're not listening. What I was saying is. I was saying, like, if I've been.

Misinterpreting that one for 22 years, well, not my fault.

What I was saying is, like, I was kind of tired. Like, I seemed a little bit. If I seemed a little bit run down or off or. It wasn't that I didn't want to hang out. It was that I. I mean, I guess I could have just said, hey, I'm feeling a little tired and run down and sick. And I thought you did.

Anyways, you said it. And then we ended up.

So anyway, so. But then the whole night, it was almost like you were kind of like, leaving me alone. And I was like, well, that backfired. That's not actually what I wanted. And then I was even like, hey, you want to go to the hot tub? And you're like, no, I'm good. And I was like, wow, still doesn't want to hang out. Okay, sorry I scared you off. But then that night we had our nanny, and I was like, you were gonna put eyelid to bed. I go, no, no, no. Let the nanny do it. And then still there was, like, nothing. And so I just took off my pants and nuzzled myself right into you. And I was like, hey, like, light screen, buddy. And you were like, oh, I didn't know because you're good.

So then I didn't get the decoder ring. I needed the decoder ring on.

I know.

Signal your white. And then when you were like, hey, you want to go to the hot tub?

Signal.

And I was watching Island, I was like, my.

My communication was poor, but when my butt cheeks cradled right in there, you that.

When I was being cradled by your ass. At that point, I recognized what was going on.

Sign was like, hello.

She had a dump back the dump truck. Oh, wait a second. I think something might be missing. Been misinterpreted around here.

Yeah. So.

Okay, so that was. So then we ended up having sex last night. It was great. Was that good sex for you last night?

But then that brought up the conversation to our therapist, and he was like. You were like, hey, how can I help? You were like, how do I read the signs better? And I was like, buddy, there's no signs. You don't have to ask me ever if I want to have sex. If you put the moves on me, I will always be ready to have sex. Unless I'm physically ill, like, or passed out. Then I have no problem being like, hey, baby, let's do this tomorrow. Like, I'm.

I've.

I'm. I'm smoked. I literally can't even function right now. But it. So that's kind of how it started it. And I can't remember how. Why. He said to do this exercise, but he basically was like, okay, this sounds weird, but I want you to look at your house husband and tell him you want him to. You just.

Let's do it right now. Just look me in eyes, and.

I'm not gonna do it on a podcast.

You've already done it.

Intimate.

No, you already did it. You already did it in the other room.

No, I'm not gonna do it. It's too intimate for a podcast.

Did it for Zoom. You didn't want to do for.

I don't. It's private.

Zoom.

No, I don't. Okay, so. And Garrett was like, wow, that was intense.

And that wasn't just intense. It was amazing. You're sitting on my lap.

Well, then I jumped on you, and I grabbed your face, and I said, I want you to me.

He said, well, I said, I want you to me. And it was kind of funny because we were both kind of, like, being uncomfortable with it and, like, saying it to each other. And he's like, no, I want you to say it, Daniel, go. So then you said it, and you said, it's serious, and you locked in your eyes. And then I was like, whoa. I started Feeling this like, deep emotion, like, like I didn't know was even in there coming up. And I was like, whoa, what is this? And then he said, what do you naturally want to do right now? And you, like, wanted to sit. And so you came over, sat on my lap, and when you. I just held you behind your back and you were like looking me in the eyes and had your arms around my neck and you said it like two or three other times. And every time you said it, I wasn't feeling penis sexual energy. I was feeling like this soul connected energy, which is like, whoa, this is really intense. And that's when I recognized and you even started getting a little emotional about it with me. Like, I was like, as you were sitting there, like, oh, me almost coming.

To recognize, like, you finally got it. Like, the only way I can describe it is like I can prance around in like a cute little lingerie outfit. And you kind of noticed me, but I grabbed your face and I looked at you and I'm like, It was almost like it came at you with an intention. Like I was sitting serious. Like, I'm not around. I need you to me. And you can think of it as sexual, but for me it was like, it wasn't sexual. It was more of me being like, I need more out of you. I need to connect with you. I don't know how else to do it other than I'm on your lap, I've grabbed your face, I'm looking you dead in the eyes and. And you were like all. All of a sudden hit you where your eyes kind of. It's almost like you felt my intention.

Oh, babe. I felt, oh, God. It makes me emotional right now. Like, I feel like, God, I'm gonna be that guy like, haven' in the last six years that I'm crying on every podcast. Oh, I don't know. I think because there's so much comes up for me on Tuesdays when I record this because I'm going through therapy and then I go with you and then I do academy journey at night. So it's like there's so much processing happening in like on Tuesdays. Plus I already worked like 10 hours. So it's like a long day, which is good. I think God does on purpose to fatigue me, but I was feeling it like, I was feeling a deep, like, deep sense of like soul level connection with you. And even our therapist through the camera, he was just like, he's like, yeah, that's it. Good job. Good job, you two. That's exactly what we're looking for. He's amazing. We do two hour sessions with him every single week. I don't think we could accelerate. One hour's not enough. I don't think one hour is even close enough.

I think we could, I think we were in a bit of a. We had a rough pocket where. Well, we would like the beginning of the year. We had a rough pocket and I felt.

Well, that was this lack of connection.

You were feeling and I felt called to wake you up and.

And you did.

How I did it, it doesn't matter. But I felt, I think that women with their man are called to wake him up and sometimes they. Women sedate and they don't do that. And it's. Sometimes it comes the wake up calls. Nice. And sometimes it's not. And sometimes it's collision. And that's kind of where we had got and. But with collision comes the opportunity to open up conversation that needs to happen. I think when you're too comfortable, you don't open up conversations. And so for us, a lot of our, our growth has come with collision because it, it's, it's necessary to open up tough conversations.

We're recording a podcast.

Isla, no singing, no singing, baby.

We're doing a podcast. Charlie, no singing. We're doing a podcast.

She's probably gonna come down for dinner soon.

Almost done. Keep that in the show. Just keep the whole thing. This is literally how life goes too. We're like, all right, we're gonna be professional kids. Wham. Cleaners Blower guys are wild.

By the. By the end of Tuesdays, I'm always like, like, my, My Tuesday wasn't any slower than yours. I woke up and trained with my trainer, went and did two. I did two two hour sales calls. Then I went, picked up a birthday cake. Then I went and did therapy. Then I went and taught a class. Then I came back and had a meeting with Jeff. Then I went straight to a podcast. Then I'm getting ready to do a photo shoot and a birthday smash. I'm going to hit the pillow hard. At about 9pm I will just be.

Coming out of my ketamine journey. Obviously, you have, you have. You've become more open to my drug.

Use because you're not you. And it inhibits our connection because there's a numbness. I'm not saying it doesn't help you, but it in. It literally is a connection blocker. What is drugs like or like? When you were on the feel freeze.

I was talking about my plant medicine.

Oh, okay.

I was like, thinking, like, psychedelic journey stuff. Not. Not my. Feel free.

Yeah, feel free on a daily basis. Were blocking connection.

Hurry. Run over here and give me a hug. Quick.

Same thing if run fast.

Come here and give us hugs. Be on the show for a second. Okay? I need you to tell them a story really fast. Here you go. No, you can tell the show.

Yeah, tell me.

Tell them. Tell them something. They want to hear from you. Sing your song, your music song. Sing the nighttime song. You sing to me.

Did you smash your cake?

Sing the nighttime song. Ready? Go.

Did you mess up your cake?

Okay.

We can't.

Not yet. We're almost done.

Not yet. As soon as we're done.

Go get Charlie. Go get Charlie.

Done. As soon as we're done.

Leave all this in the show. This is exactly what everybody needs to see. Hey, we're almost done with the podcast, but I need you to leave and go babysit sister. Go.

I'm gonna eat your bowl cake. Go get your pink dress on so we can smash your cake.

Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry.

Not right now. We're gonna take it to the beach and do photos.

Hey. Hey, baby girl. Baby girl, baby girl. Hey, baby girl. Isla. Isla. Isla. We're gonna cancel the cake smash if you don't go.

Brie, will you take away her cake?

I'm counting down from 10, and if you are not runned upstairs by Charlie, we're canceling the party tonight.

Oh, my gosh.

And I'm gonna call Rocky and all your friends and say, no birthday party.

That's not true. But go upstairs, please.

True. I will.

Okay.

You don't want to have a birthday party?

Okay. Go upstairs and change and then you can get your cake.

Okay. Then come sit on the floor and stop talking. Isla. Isla.

Right now we go.

Obviously, my children don't listen to me at all. You're too nice.

I know.

You're way too nice. She needs, like, some discipline. Like a spank.

Go.

Bye.

Bye.

This is actually an issue.

What?

They just got to witness the issue. What? Our job does not listen to us at all?

I don't think that's abnormal.

I think it's not abnormal. I think that we do a weak job at disciplining our kids.

Speak for yourself. I'm a pretty good mom.

You good disciplinarian?

Yeah.

I didn't say you're not a great mom. I said, are you good disciplinarian?

Yeah.

Do you know what a disciplinarian is?

It's somebody who's good at follow up. No, follow through. Excuse me? Follow Through.

No.

Yes, it is.

Disciplinary is someone who's good at laying down the rules, disciplining people.

I disagree. You can tell your kids to do it all day long, but if you don't follow up with them, whatever your rules are, doesn't matter.

Discipline. Part of the discipline package. Disciplinarian is someone who brings discipline to their children.

Did you bring discipline to our children and I? Discipline is. We have two different definitions of.

Well, that's the problem. You're speaking Chinese, I'm speaking Spanish.

Yeah. Your form of discipline is like you must do. You're a dictator. You're confusing dictating and discipline.

Nothing wrong. They're my kids.

I say structure and follow up, which.

Is what dictators are after. Structure and follow up. You will do what I say, and structurally, we will make sure you do.

Shut up. You're not. You're done.

See, we're both saying the same thing. Dictators have tons of structure and follow up. Kill that person immediately. System for doing it. Person's dead.

I. I just need you to get out of the way.

That's what you said.

Tight ship.

But, like, right here, like, with this. Right. This is like watching our dog Dory run around, who's just a nutcase and doesn't listen to anybody.

I was listening. I saw this meme, and it was like, I don't run a tight ship. I run a pirate ship full.

That's exactly what we run. Seriously, though, she doesn't listen. She does this last night, too. Like, what am I saying?

What I realize is because I want to get angry. Yeah. So this is why.

And you don't. But you just, like, cave.

Yeah. When you're not on the same parenting page, it's really hard when the kids are constantly going to dad and he says, yes, and you tr. And I tried to put rules in place, but then I feel like I'm fighting the dad and the kid, and eventually I'm like, I don't care anymore. Obviously, you. Yeah. It is hard when you have to fight.

That's one of the most recent ones that. That happened.

What?

What's. Give me an example of a recent thing like that.

It happens a lot with Bailey, when I'll say, hey, you can have, you know, 10 friends over. Dad said I could have 20. Hey, Dad, I definitely said she could not have 20 friends over. I've already told her 15. I've. We're doing 15 friends.

I said she got.

No, listen, I'm giving you a compare. I'm giving you.

So you don't Have a real example.

I'm giving you an example of. Because I can't.

You have a real example.

Okay, will you let me finish?

I mean, Elon Musk asked the BBC to show evidence of rise.

Okay?

Hate crime, Twitter. And the guy couldn't.

Well, this is what you typically. You'll say is, I end up fighting. I end up fighting you. Saying, like, in front of our daughter, end up fighting you. And you'll be like, well, why can't she have 20? I'm like, because that's a lot of kids, and we already agreed on 15. And then you're like, but why did you know this happens a lot? And you'll be like, well, why did you say, why did I feel like I'm fighting you and her at the same time? And because neither of you see reasoning behind the rules. And I'm like, but you can't give.

Me a specific example because what you just made up is another hypothetical.

No, I know it's happened a lot. Like, say, with curfew.

It's happened a lot. You should probably have a perfect example.

No, I say this to you all the time. Give me an example. I love how you always say, give me an example, and then I flip it back to you, and I'm like, give me an example. And you're like, you can't even remember what color underwear you have on, so don't tell me to give you an example.

That's the only color I have.

Let me see.

Remember, don't let me see.

Okay. What color underwear do I have on?

I don't know. It's probably awesome, though. Hopefully none. So, for real, like, I want you to know this. You can't give me one example if I do it all the time. There should be plenty of simple examples.

Okay.

The one you picked up is the.

One that curfew last week.

Okay. What day?

I told Bailey it's a definite no. She can't be out till 10.

Okay.

She's like, I just stopped now. Now, this is what I do. I take, say, nine. You agree on nine. Then she's like, dad said 10. And instead of fighting around, I'm like, that's fine. I just stopped fighting.

Oh.

Because I was like, you selectively like to parent. And so. But when you decide to parent, it's like, there. You can't. It's like fighting with another teenager. So I'm like, I don't want to fight with two teenagers. If dad said that's the rule, that's fine. But I realized if you don't want to parent and set up rules, then I can't rely on you to set up the rules. I have to set up the rules and I have to stick with them. Give me an example, Garrett, give me an example. I need an example.

Of what?

Of when you have parented.

When I parented, I was just doing it. Didn't you hear me say Isla? It puts me in a situation. I mean, I'm like watching my daughter completely defy me right before my eyes. I'm watching her mother not do anything.

I usually just.

I feel like she should just be smacked. Oh, no, just smack the kids.

A 4 year old. I just pick her up. When I can't reason with a four year old, I smack him.

Okay, I got smacked as a four year old.

This is like one of those moments. I can't get a sentence out. We're back there again.

But you had 40 minutes on your own, so we're doing good.

I did not. You had 40 minutes.

Okay, go.

I feel like I just got really.

Tired and I'm like, you got tired?

Yeah, I need some caffeine.

Oh, well, all right, well. So you want to end of the show?

Yeah.

All right.

You got any more value you want to add?

Oh, well, I mean, I got tons. What time is right now? What have we got? Like, 30 minutes?

Oh, man.

Oh, God, Stop. You're ridiculous. You gotta, like, get enthusiast. This isn't like the time we tried to do a podcast drunk.

It got really, like, warm in here. And then Isla came down and interrupted our flow. I felt like it was like, ready.

We were. It is warm in here. We're gonna turn the air on. I'll turn on we go. So. So tell me this then. So how in the world are we supposed to get on the same page? When I turn this around, how are we supposed to get on the same page with our kids?

I believe in hiring good help.

Okay, so how are we. How are we supposed to get on the same page with our kids? What's the answer?

It's interesting though too, because I felt like as a parent, I was trying to be a dictator. And I was like, well, you should do this. And then they like, for example, with Bailey, I always was trying to put her into my box and she would resist me. And I remember feeling when she was like, at a young age, like, she's not yours to control. She's your own little person. You just have to keep her in the bumper. Bumper lane. And I was like, oh, I'm not trying to control her. Like, in my mind I'm thinking, like, I'm just, I'm trying to get her to do things my way. And she is a very defiant child. And even now, like, she literally dropped out of school in sixth grade. And I remember being like, she can't. I couldn't physically, like, she's. She was bigger than me in sixth grade. And I was like, I physically can't get. I was like trying to put her pants on her to go to private school in sixth grade. I'm like, this is ridiculous. She's bigger than me. And I'm trying to put. She was like, I'm not going. I'm like, you're going. And then I was like, I can't get her to go anymore. And so I couldn't get her to go to bed and. Or I couldn't. Yeah, I couldn't get her to get out of bed. And I kind of finally was like, okay, I've. Staying in bed is not okay. We experienced this with her. She was like, she went down this path of trying different homeschools, hanging out with the wrong friends. She ended up going. We ended up. She made some shitty decisions. We made this choice together to send her to wilderness. Then we send her to a boarding school. She came back and she was 15 when she came back. And it was like, okay, let's try high school again. Still just didn't want to go. And I'm like, I am trying to get this child just to go to school and I can't get her out of bed. And so it was like, okay, she loves music. She's always loved music. And so we decided to put. We. She ended up. We ended up finding oc, hit randomly and pulled her out of school and decided to do full time music. And it's not the traditional path, but it's something she's passionate about. She's good at it. And it was like one of those moments as a mother where I'm like, I can fight this or I can support it. And it's. And it's hard too, because I still feel like in. Although it's not the traditional way, I still felt like you and I had to come up with clear rules and boundaries and guidelines because we're like, hey, we let you drop out of high school. Like, we're not asking a lot of you, but here is what we expect out of you. So it's been. I don't know, I think it's. As a mom, it's been a wild ride because the culture I was raised in and you were raised in and how you're supposed to do it. And I was like, well, that's not working. And I just had to ask my question, the question of, like, how can I help my daughter succeed? And so that's kind of where you and I have actually. We may not do a lot of things right as far as when it comes to parenting, we might not agree on everything, but I. I think that the. That is one place we both agree on. I don't think. I think that's a hard decision to come to when both the parents are like, yeah, my daughter dropped out of traditional school and we're funding her music and promoting her to do it. I mean, I think that's pretty cool.

Very cool. Yeah. We're in a place that's very different than I would have anticipated growing up. I wouldn't have thought this, like, years ago that we'd be in a homeschool situation. I have no desire to send our kids back to school ever. Any of them. Schools total bullshit.

I say that, but then I'm also like. If Ruby was like, I really want to try school, I'm not gonna say no. It's my way. I want homeschool. I'm like, I'll let you try it. I think I'm a little more open minded than you.

Well, I was the one that pulled them out of school. You were against it.

I wasn't against it.

Hey, you were like, who's gonna watch them? Who's gonna take care of them? Who's gonna teach them?

Well, that's true. I thought you were gonna. I thought you were just gonna pull them out of school and expect me to homeschool them.

I was like, I mean, we know how.

Well, you didn't teach them how to.

Teach them how to go smoosh with their teachers to get good grades, how to not do any homework, nothing, anytime.

That's. How do you know you're a negotiator? Because I didn't pass by good grades. I literally finagled every single one of my teachers.

Okay, so are you ever gonna do psychedelics?

What?

We're ever gonna do psychedelics?

I don't know. I don't really have the desire to do it right now.

You had a little desire.

No, I didn't.

You didn't have any desire?

No.

You were asking curious questions.

When?

After my second academy journey.

Yeah, I. I can't even smoke weed, so it's a hard pass for me right now.

Got it.

Like, Advil is pretty strong for me.

Well, you don't take these to deal with a headache. You don't use it.

I know. I'm just saying, like, I, I, I don't know, it kind of freaks me out. I'm gonna start with taking some zaza first, and then we'll go from there.

Yeah. Yeah. All right, well, Zaza night. Well, what do you see with me? I guarantee at least my internal team. Nobody would say every one of my internal team.

I think this is good for you now.

And did you notice how you just cut me off?

Oh, sorry. Keep going. I thought you're done with your question.

No, I was answering. Samuel's office. Thank you. I said jeff's noticed. My teams have noticed. My clients have noticed, My masterminds have noticed. Everyone in my world has noticed. Not a small but a radical improvement. But the only comment I had from you one time, but you were drinking. We were talking. I said, so you're not seeing any change in me? And you said, no, you're worse. So I'll take that as the answer I got when you were drunk. How about you give me the answer when you're not drunk?

When I said that, I wasn't referring to you as a human being, but our relationship at that time early in this year was a little bit disconnected. It could have been my own frustration of myself allowing that to happen because I again, I feel like I'm a pretty conscious, connected human being. And I didn't fight for what I wanted, which is constant connection with my husband. And it was more that I felt yuku had gotten worse because I knew it was an addiction and it was a problem for you. I could physically see it in your face, and there was a numbness about you that I couldn't connect with. So that's when I said, you are worse. I was simply referencing not you as a human being, but I did not feel connected to you. And those feel freeze. You looked, you looked. They were aging you. You looked dehydrated. You, I know, you were like, no, but you've even said since you've got off him, you're like, yeah, I physically look different.

That's not what I'm talking about.

But I'm saying in that moment when I said you, I might have been drunk and I might have said, you're worse. But my being sober, my intention of that was interpreting the disconnection that you and I had was worse. And your addiction to fill freeze, it was worse. So if you were to say, what's your synopsis of plant based medicine? Bad we're disconnected, and you're addicted to these things.

Got it.

And it's prohibiting our connection. So you were like, I've come all this way. Yeah, your clients have seen it. But the piece that I've seen is not working for me. And I'm not saying you haven't discovered amazing things about yourself.

All the pieces are just the connection piece.

No, no.

Stop taking you on more trips. No, I bought you more jewelry.

It doesn't matter to you.

I know. Well, it does. That does matter. It's not just connection. You want a connection on top of all that.

But yeah, that does not matter if I don't have connection.

Right.

But there's fun.

So you're saying Since March of 2022 until July or June of 2023, outside of me quitting feel free two weeks ago, you haven't seen any remarkable change in me since. Since taking on plant medicine, including the fact that you should drink three to four beers every night? No, I have five to six caffeinated drinks every day. I don't drink anything of that anymore.

It's almost like I felt okay. So when you gave. When you stopped drinking beer and you first started doing it, I was almost like you are right now. I was like, wow, you're awakened and there's connection. And it. Something happened to where things were good and I could see progression in you. And then the only thing I can tell you is we went into a little bit of a slumber and now we're back in the awakening pocket. And I'm not trying to say I didn't see any growth from your experiences, from. I don't know what you want me to call it.

Drugs, ketamine, plant medicine, sacraments.

I'm not saying that I didn't see improvement for you, but excess with anything.

Which is again referring to feel free, not necessarily plant medicine. Sure, feel free is like kratom kava.

Sure. But excess with that. That.

So that blanketed your ability to see any of the other changes?

It was a. In excess was a negative for me.

But it blanketed the ability for you to see any other changes.

Oh, you're not hearing me. I didn't say that.

Oh, what are you saying?

In that moment of me being drunk? I was simply stating that you're worse. Meaning I feel like you went from drinking beer at night to sedating all day with feel freeze. So that's what I saw as worse. And you took it as a blanket statement of I'm judging?

No, that's what I'm asking Right.

I know, and I'm trying to communicate. No.

Okay, so then what is the truth of the change you've seen in me?

I think it's gotten a lot better in the last, like, six months, because you are. I'm seeing a different side in you inside a business, which is really fun for me to see, which is less of, like, what Garrett says goes. I see this. This change in you within Jeff and other people, and making big decisions where I'm, like, very proud of you. It's like. It's. It's. It's like a higher version of you. Like, a little bit less ego about it. It's. It's a smart man. That's the only thing I can describe. I'm like, there's. There's my smart husband. It's not. It's less about, like, my way is the only way, because that's not necessarily the most powerful, like, place to be. It can be, and you're very powerful in that. But I would say I've seen a lot of, like, not maturity. Maturity, but, yes, it's more of an awareness of the decisions and the strikes that you're making. Remember how I told you when we were going to Cabo? I'm like, I don't see it a problem that you're. That you have this. I get that your personality is always at war, but let's be very strategic with your strikes, and I think you're becoming very aware of that. And so when you strike, it's lethal. It's great. You're like, that was a great move. So that's what I see in you, is more strategic strikes to create wins for you, for our family. And that's. That's. Ultimately, I'm like, oh, that's. That's cool to see for me.

What else?

And I think that, like anything else.

So you see that I'm more business. I'm playing business better, at least the.

Way you see it, but not even business. Just, like, you're. The way you approach, talk to people and, like, listen to people, probably, like, how your clients feel. Like, there's a different level to you of, like, really taking in what people are saying.

I'm confident. If I hadn't gone to my. To medicine, we'd probably be divorced. Really? Yeah. Because I don't think I could have pivoted, because wherever I was going, as of last March, it wouldn't got better. I was like, that wasn't, like, trying to destroy myself. I just was, like, pursuing. So when I found plant medicine, like, I. I had no idea how I was gonna stop drinking. I was, like, pretty addicted. I mean, I was just addicted to the pattern of it. It was less about a craving for the drink. So much of the pattern of it. And I mean, like, you accelerated your drinking through the same time. So while you were looking at me at feel free, you were drinking tequila.

I think, because I was, like, trying to sedate, too, for sure. I was like, okay, I gotta get through this. And so then it went from, like, drinking on the weekends to having drinking every night. And then I was like. And then I was like, this is stupid. More of, like a numbing pattern, a sedation mode. And I was like, but you can only. You can only be in this space of. I think of like, an airplane when they're in idle or like, when you're just kind of, like, hanging out there.

On the Runway or. No, like, airplane doesn't hang out.

Well, like, you know, like, when the engine slows and you're just kind of, like, chilling.

Oh, you're like, airline.

Yeah.

Like, at altitude.

Yeah. You're just, like, chilling for a minute. Like, you can only stay at that for so long. Like. So I feel like we were cruise control. That's what I'm thinking. Sorry. I was, like, trying to think of a good parable. You can only, like, stay in this, like, cruise control for so long. And I was kind of like, okay, to where it's, like, almost starts to go the opposite way and you feel yourself slipping back. And that's kind of how I started to feel. And I was like, no. I'm like, we've worked way too hard to let. And. And we had to make decisions quick. So.

So we did made decisions quick. So I'm hearing, as you said, you saw some improvement in how I dealt with business. I will tell you from my side.

Do you see improvements in me? Because it's always. I feel like. It's always like, what have you seen in me? Like.

I feel like on this show, I've done a good job. You've talked for about 30 minutes out.

Of the 40 minutes. It's not even about.

Not cut you off. I just asked you a question. You don't ask me questions about yourself. You've just been talking about yourself and telling stories. You didn't ask me a question, so why don't you ask me the question? Then you can feel like we're on the same page. What do you want to ask me about yourself? You can't get upset at me for asking questions.

I wasn't upset. I was just, like. I realized. I'm like. I feel like we.

You can't say always, because that's not true. I asked a little question about me for feedback from my woman, the woman who is the resident expert on Garrett J. White, who spends the most time with him and knows more about him than any human being on the planet. And I'm asking the resident experts for feedback on a question, and you got triggered. Why you were triggered, otherwise you wouldn't have said anything about it.

I had a baby ready for a photo shoot.

Does it annoy you that I ask questions about myself when I'm getting feedback from you because you're unwilling to do it for yourself?

No. I was like, I feel like. I feel like we talk a lot about you, and I don't know if we. I was like, I don't feel like we talk a lot about me, but I don't care.

What would you like to talk about you? I don't feel like we talk about me all the time. Half the topics we talked about today was you just telling stories about our family and about our life and about where we're going.

Anything about me for another podcast? I got to go get a baby ready for a birthday cake. Smash.

You realize that if we're. If you. If you want to talk more about you, you have to open your mouth and ask questions.

I don't know if I want to.

Talk more about me, but you're upset about the fact that we're not talking about you. Well, yet again, women language is really.

You should ask questions.

Listen, all I know I got from this show is really simple, right? When you tell me that you have a little illness coming on and your period, starting this just means I want to fuck. That's all you need to know. This whole show might not have been working.

No, it wasn't. I was trying to tell you I'm tired.

I was literally trying, remember it, boys.

Because I didn't want you to. Like, I was, like, kind of tired to make dinner, and I normally make dinner, and I'm normally peppy, and so I felt like I had to say, like, it's like when you come home from a. Like, a busy day at work, you'll be like. You'll say things like, oh, sorry, I'm just thinking about my work week. I'm kind of stressed. And I'll be like, oh, okay. Thank you for telling me that. Because, like, I'm in my head thinking, like, is he mad? What did we talk about last night? Like, what's going on? Why is he standoffish?

Right.

But when you're like, hey, I've got an event this week, like, I have. So then I. Then I'm like, oh, cool. And I can just go into my little space, and I'm not worried about, like, entertaining you, if that makes sense. So it's almost like me just saying, like, I'm not feeling great. That doesn't ever mean I'm a different woman, though, because I've gone. I've gotten over that side. I've. I've come a long way. Like, in the past, I might have said that to been like, please stand clear. But I've worked on myself a lot to where. That's not really what I was saying. I was just trying to. Yeah, that's it.

Got it. Look at that. We ended the show talking about you. That's exciting. Do you feel good?

Feel good about the fact I'm so hungry.

Okay, well, all right. So listen, we're gonna wrap up this show. We got a lot of cool things coming down the pipe. We haven't talked much about it, but we do have. We've been talking a lot about it. We have the new Real White House reality show coming out in the trailer, will be available in August of 2023, and the first episodes will start dropping the first week of September 2023. Excited to have that happen. We had the crews all out here shooting all the intros, all the big fire posts, so it's gonna be fun. This podcast will go intertwined with the Real White House TV series. So both of these two things going on at the same time, we're gonna give you an inside scoop. Listen, we're gonna just talk about whatever's going on for us every single time. We don't pretend like we're marriage therapists, because we're not. I'm a PE Teacher. She's a hairdresser. And between the two of us, we built an empire.

Don't downplay. Don't downplay.

I'm not downplaying my PE Teacher. I'm a fucking savage. You know? You know how much my skills have come in play in my profession right now? I had to figure out to get 60 kindergarteners to stand in straight fucking lines in a gym and be fun and excited for 60 minutes, coordinating 2,000 to 5,000 men in a room.

I'm excited to share the Real White House show because I'm actually very proud of what we've done with our family, who we are individually, all of our kids and I feel like everybody and their dog right now has a podcast, and very few are actually qualified to share a. Or I guess anybody can share. But I feel like we're the real deal. I feel like we've gone through a lot, we've built a lot, we've stayed together, we have five kids. And I feel like we're pretty conscious human beings. Like, even when we're in our therapy sessions, I feel I'm like, wow. Like, I don't think either of us give us enough credit for who we are individually and as a couple. And I'm excited to just share whether it's controversial or not. Like, I like to break the thought process and patterns of what people believe is possible for themselves. And I think that you and I, again, have. Have done that a lot through personal work. So I'm excited to share that. Like, we're kind of normal and, like. But we've accomplished a lot in life. And you're not a PE teacher. You never were a PE teacher. You never were meant to be a PE teacher. And that's why I married you.

Amen, self. Real training and tips and tricks on how to live the habitable lifestyle that we talk about here at Wake Up Warrior, which is the sponsor of this show. Well, head to wakeupwarrior.com we'd love to have you there, join one of our challenges, step in for free, get some of our books, move forward, get in the curriculum in your world. We'd love to guide you here at Warrior to have it all just like my wife and I have. It's not perfect, but guess what? I'd rather have problems. Be rich and having it all with a fit body, amazing sex, great children, and a business that's stressful. Then be broke as fuck, living in a cardboard box by myself with a bottle of lotion down by the river. Your decision, my friend. Go to wakeupwarrior.com.