Get Paid, Both Get Laid | Date Your Wife | Ep 029

And then you can see it. And then we can watch for his red. Okay, so you've got. You've got this. You've got this game, this challenge that is a woman wants to be, at the end of the day, wants to be taken care of. And there's some.

Women want control, too.

They do.

But men do, too.

Men want control.

So men will control with money, and women will control with sex. And so it's like this weird, twisted game of, like, it's just. Isn't that funny? Like, women want security, comfort, they want to be taken care of, but they control that with sex. And then men can control, like, their wives or their women by. With money, like, you can only spend this much. You can only do this much. And when we're told, like, you can only do this much, there's a lot of, like, guilt that follows. And that's why I. I see so many women that are like, here's my money for my hair, but don't tell my husband kind of thing. You know what I mean? And I'm like, what the fuck? Or, my husband doesn't like my hair, so I can't get these extensions anymore. And I'm like, why? If you feel what, like. So it's. It's. It's. It's a kind of a control game on both ends.

Okay, so, guys, the control game we're talking about here is. We're discussing this. We're discussing the fact that men typically use money to control women, and women use sex to control men. But there's this crossover game, specifically on the topic of money, where a woman wants a man to produce. Woman wants a man to produce. And yet inside of that, one of the challenges happen is that the woman continues to cut the balls off of the man. As the producer now, I'm not. I'm going to beat the shit out of the guys here on today's show. No question about it. But. But, yes, but I'm going to. But first, we're going to talk about how women actually create the opposite of what they want by cutting the balls off of the man.

Both the guy and the girl do that. So, like, in our experience, like, I felt like at one point, Garrett wasn't producing, and so I was like, okay, I'll put on the man hat, and I'll go figure out it on my own. And I think I was wanting to figure it out on my own because at the time, I was like, I don't know. I didn't know if we were gonna stay married. And it Was part of me was just scared. And I wanted to be able to produce for myself and not be reliant if we got divorced and still be controlled by my ex husband giving me money. I wanted to be like, fuck you. Don't give me anything. I got this. And so for me, I was like, I'm just gonna go do this on my own. But then when our relationship started to get better, I was like, all right, well, I. I can't really have that energy or that attitude anymore.

So shit had to change. Like, this is obvious, things had to change for us. And the piece that had to change was the no more balls cutting off. But, you know what's interesting is that we can talk all day long about how a woman's cutting your balls off and how this is happening. And that is happening. What the hell is this? This has only been a record. I feel like we've been recording longer than 2 minutes and 45 seconds.

Oh, shit.

Hopefully we didn't fuck this recording up.

How do you know? You know, didn't you push play?

I pushed record and it's recording. But, you know, I'm just. I'm very not convinced that we've only been going for two minutes. How do you see the 59 seconds right here? Three minutes. If we covered all that in three minutes, there's a lot of COVID in three minutes.

Good for us.

Good for us. And if we didn't, then we got the audio recording right here on this.

And you know, what if we just started recording. Let's just catch him up to speed. Basically what we're talking about is they.

Say we've been going eight minutes, but the recording says we're only going three minutes.

What?

Well, fuck it. Well, we've got the recording here. All right, we're going to continue to go. All right, so listen here. We've got this. We've got the piece that we're struggling with, which is this. This idea of dealing with as a man allowing your wife to cut your balls off. Like, I'm gonna have you consider that as a producer, like, your wife doesn't have the power to cut your balls off unless you allow her the power to cut your balls off.

But then I feel like when that happens, then it's like even more of a turnoff for the girl. Cause she's like, jesus Christ, just man up already.

So you cut the balls off financially, as a producer, you're cutting the balls off. But if the man succumbs to the cutting of the balls, if he allows the Balls to be cut off. He's a pussy, but you attempt to cut the balls off because you're trying to test him. Is this what I'm hearing? Like, you go after the bulls to cut them off?

No, it's a protection mechanism.

All right, Speak more to this. Okay, what does this mean?

Because it's like I said when I was in this place where I was like, I don't. Like, everything got stripped from us, and I was like, ooh, I'm not actually that connected to him. And really, it was just like, paying the bills was kind of keeping us afloat. And I don't know that I want to be married. And now that we have no money, I am questioning everything even more. And so it was this game of, like. It wasn't like I was trying to cut your balls off. It was like a survival mechanism. It was a protection mechanism. I was just like, you tarnished. Like, you. You were the provider and you stripped that. So, fuck you. You've lost my trust. And it was literally like, in a female perspective, like, just trying to cope and go, like, survival. That's like, the only thing, like, men and women are DNA bred so differently. Like, I genuinely think, like, instinct, instinctively, we do things that are great together, but then also trigger each other like crazy and can blow up, you know?

So the blow up game happens, and we're sitting in this situation where I have built something, but then I have lost something and I have lost the trust of my wife. And so as I'm climbing out of the pit as a man to create financial results again, what I didn't expect to happen was to be tested and tested and tested and tested and tested and tested and tested and tested and tested and tested and tested and tested.

You had to earn that trust.

Tested and tested and tested and tested and tested again by the Queen, simply with the game of, hey, you're gonna go make some shit happen. Like, I would speak to the possibility of what I was gonna go do. And that was a problem is I was telling my wife what I was gonna go do. I wasn't just doing it. And she would immediately not respond with, oh, hon, you're amazing. You wanna blowjob?

I think from my.

There was no, like, hey, you're sweetheart, you got this. There's no cheerleading. There was like, you were scorned. You were not trusting. And you were like, I.

When I started to build up my personal business, and you would come to me excited, and it was almost like I was like, you can have success at whatever you do. But when I started to have more success at one point, and then you would come to me and want advice and then I would tell you this and then you would shoot me down and I wanted to be like, screw you because clearly I'm providing for, I'm making stuff happen and I don't know what you're still trying to figure out you and whatever. And so it was hard for me to be in this place of respect because I was like, I would come out instead of having respect, I would come out and criticize and I would be like, I didn't even know what to say or do. I was just trying not to be like, fuck you, figure it out. You know?

So I struggled with this. I interpreted everything that she was saying and everything that she was doing. I interpreted this as, she doesn't want me, she doesn't care about me, she doesn't support me. Now meanwhile, add to this the fact that our sex life goes to hell in hand basket. Plus I wake up and not only, not only do I got some blue balls going on, but now I've got bloody blue balls because I'm now getting, I'm having to protect my bulls from being cut off every single day. And I, I didn't know how to, I didn't know how to deal with this. And what I didn't understand was happening was my wife. Here's the magic. Get ready for the turn. Get ready for the fucking turn. Here it comes. What I didn't know was happening at the time, my interpretation of what was happening is my wife is a cold hearted bitch who doesn't actually want to support me, who says in one token, get it done, but then seems to behave in a way that is about attacking me as a producer. And I'm feeling sorry for myself. I'm not getting laid. I don't have a cheerleader at home. I don't have a woman who loves and cares and appreciates the fact that I can't pay the fucking bills. So like I was in this weird dilemma and I didn't understand that what she was actually doing was actually doing was preparing me to go back to war. Like, I didn't see it this way. I did not see it as a place of, listen, I have lost my power as a producer and my wife is currently going to war to prepare me to go back outside the walls of the destroyed kingdom, to rebuild and repair our lives, pay the bills and build us out of scarcity and into abundance and create. And I'll tell you right now, like Dealing. Yesterday, I was at Facebook corporate with the Facebook company up in San Francisco, and we had a huge meeting. And that meeting was 100% less intense than being in a meeting with my wife. Like, when I finally mastered the game of being able to go to collision with my wife, particularly in the conversation of money and Danielle, there was a shift that came into place when Danielle was like. Would come at me, and she would hack in my balls, and I would be like, hey, dah. And I would block, and I got to a point where my balls just became made of steel. And I was like, woman, go ahead and hack at those balls, because all you'll do is break your knife. And at that point, life started to shift and you started to trust.

I think I felt like you were, like, taking back the throne. And part of me was, like, resistant. Part of me. It was about. I was like, it's about fucking time. And so it was like a weird. Like, oh, what? What's going on? And like, okay, I like this. And so I think that when I started to see that happen, I kind of, like, backed down, and I was like, okay, I'm just gonna stay in my own lane here, and you stay in your own lane, and it's weird. And there was, like, two years where we just kind of stayed in our own lane.

We didn't really connect a ton, but we weren't.

We were kind of back.

We were not at war anymore.

We weren't at war anymore.

No.

Yeah.

No.

We were just like, okay.

There was, like, this trust. There was, like, this trust that was coming back to you on both sides. On both sides.

It was just like you were kind of producing a little bit. I was kind of holding up my end of the bargain, and we were just kind of staying in our own lanes.

Yeah, well, let's face it. Like, at that point, you started putting out a little more.

Well, yeah, because I was.

And I started producing a little more.

Yeah. And so I was like, well, that's hot.

And I was like, well, you know, I just got laid. That was awesome. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna produce even more.

All of a sudden, we're keeping our mouth shut.

Well, not all the time keeping our mouth shut. You know exactly what I'm saying? All right, so anyway, so we take this topic of money, and we're heading down a different angle. You ready for another Gangle on this?

Gangle.

Gangle. We're gonna take another Gangle.

We're keeping our mouth shuts.

We'll take our mouth shut and Our gangles tight. Oh, why do you got to make this so inappropriate? All right, all right. So, Larry, listen. So we go through this battle, and finally we get on the same page as producers. My wife begins to submit as the queen out of trust. So you produce, and I rise in consistency. So here's a piece I want you to talk about.

But wait, wait, listen.

There's something. Oh, here she comes.

You said, my wife begins to submit out of trust. So there's men that maybe are producing, and they don't lose it, but they're hanging onto their woman's ovaries.

Yes.

Whatever you want to call it.

Ovary control.

And. And they wonder why the wife is just in autopilot mode, putting out, like, kind of grudgingly and, like, because there's no trust there. And you can have a good relationship without trust and respect. And so even if you're not financially struggling, you don't have the same story that Garrett and I went through. If you're holding your wife's ovaries by not.

By what, controlling her with money?

Yes, by controlling her with money. There's no respect. And you are gonna. You just are like, it's not gonna happen.

So here's the bargaining chip, right? So you look at this like, women will typically leverage blowjobs, sexual positions, sexual intimacy, hell, even just penis and vagina intercourse. They will hold that hostage over a man as a producer. Well, when you do this. And then I will. And men who are in relationships with a woman who doesn't produce her own revenue will tend to do something different. What do they end up doing? They end up holding the game of production in check in the following way. Which is. They say, I'm gonna control you with money. Which is, I'm gonna tell you what you can buy. I'm gonna cut you off with your credit cards. I'm not gonna buy you shit. Nothing.

But then what happens when, like, the wife's producing too?

Yes.

And she's kind of like, you can't control me with money. Because that's even where we were at. And then it was like, well, fuck. But in the end, I was just like, I can take care of myself, but I ultimately want you to take care of me.

Yes.

And so I had to, like, pull back the reins and be like, okay, in order to get what I want, that means that I have to play this game of submit. That means I have to be the cheerleader. That means this, this, and this. And it became a game of trust, respect, submit, Whatever it is, creates this Magical solution that all of a sudden you're like, wow, our relationship is working. And, like, things are pretty cool. And it's this balancing game. And I think that that's kind of where, like, it's a cool space in which we're at right now where it's just like, if we feel things like shifting, we. We know how to correct it because we've gained that trust back and we've figured out how to balance both the male and female energy. And it's a cool space to be in. And so people are always like, well, how did you do that? And I'm like, you want, like, a checklist? Everybody wants a to do list, especially women. They're like, can I just get a checklist of how to do this? Cause he's doing Warrior, but nothing's changing. And I'm like, fucking bitch. I don't. And the only advice I give to women when I hear this happening is I'm like, just go ahead and put a mirror in front of your face and say, am I doing everything I'm doing? And it's not your checklist. It's the hard shit that women don't want to face. Like, it's usually the stuff that's not on the checklist, that's tucked under the mattress or under the rug, and they're like, oh, yeah, I guess I could do that. And it's little things like that I find, like, with men that go a long way, like sex releasing control, like, not like, letting your guy kind of take care of you and things like that. I mean, it's just. It's the little things that make a big difference in the relationship and doing that consistently.

So this game of connection and this game of desire and this game of money and this game of production becomes the key. Like, this becomes the game that we're all hunting for. This becomes the game that we're all searching for, which is, how do I engage a relationship into which we're able to submit to one another in power? Which is really what we're talking about. Like, this game of submitting to one another in power is by choice. But this gentleman, I'm going to give you, like, the biggest tip that I can give you, period. Like, the biggest tip across the board with this. I don't know why that's turning my light on, but how'd you turn my light off? You go like this. There is the greatest tip I can give you is this. Stop interpreting your wife's quote unquote criticism as an attack. Like, I'M going to say that one more time. Stop interpreting. If you are in a game where you are not producing at the level that you know you can and you know you have sold out, you must begin to stop the process of making your wife out to be the villain and making her out to be the monster who is attacking you, who doesn't care about you, and stop this. Like, this shit has to stop. And inside of that place, you have to find a new decision and a new path which says, listen, my wife is not attacking me. My wife is triggering me to grow true. What are your thoughts on this?

I think that's true. I think.

Is this true for you?

Yeah. And part of me was just, like, I kept, like, taking the dagger and, like, really shooting it in there. And then I was like, well, this is not effective. And I felt like it would trigger you, but I was like, God, I don't. I'm not trying to trigger you. Like, I want you to be the man I know you can be. And I. But I couldn't say that. And so it was like a song and a dance of how to figure out how to communicate with one another. And it, like. I don't know. I just. I felt like a lot of times when I was throwing the daggers, like, we would. I always. I always talk about this in, like, a lot of our podcasts, but people have this emotional state where they. They tend to flip their lid and they have, like. For example, I might have, like, 15 spots before I'm, like, irrational and emotional, and Garrett might have, like, five spots. So I don't want to flip his lid when he's, like, irrational. And it's interesting because even last night, we were like, excuse me.

We were going around.

We did. We. It was at this point where, like, I was getting. I think I was a little bit edgier than Garrett.

You were. You were being a little bit of a Crazy.

Yeah. And I think I was starting getting close to flipping my lid. And he's like, are you serious? And I was just like, it was over something stupid about how he was, like, disciplining our daughter and da, da, da, da. And I was just like, no, don't do that. And we were both kind of triggered. And then he walked upstairs, and I. I literally wanted to follow him and be like, screw you, buddy. Here's why you're an asshole. And then he's, are you serious right now? And I was like, are you serious right now? And then I, like, heard us both say that, and I was like, we're both fucking retarded right now. I said that in my head because I didn't want to say that out loud. And I just, like, sat there and then I was like, okay. And in the past, in the past, if we'd get in like, a triggering argument, I would sit down there and be like, well, fuck him. He can go to bed by himself. He's such an asshole. Blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I like, I just. I cooled down. I cooled down like my 7 year old self, and I was like, okay. And then I was kind of over it. And then I was like, do I really need to be that stubborn? Was this argument worth being mad about? Is this gonna. Could this affect the next couple days? I mean, we're getting ready to go out of town.

Like, it could completely affect the next couple days.

I mean, it's like, we're going on date night tonight. And I was like. And I was just like, I bet if I go upstairs and I don't say anything, and I'm not like, hey, by the way, how you disciplined her. And if I don't bring it up again, because we. It was over something stupid and silly. It was dumb, and there's no reason to even bring it up again. So I just literally came up to him and I, like, gave him a big hug. He tried to. He was. And it was funny because he was, like, writing stuff on his whiteboard at home and, like, working and stuff. And you could tell you were trying to get, like, out of. Out of your emotional state as well.

Yep.

And our kids by then were just playing in the playroom. And it was interesting because I came up and I'm like, hey. And you were kind of, like, cold, but you weren't, like, emotional anymore. And I just came up and I, like, wrapped my arms around you, and you were, like, kind of tugged away, and I was like, nope. And I just kept him there. And then I felt your energy kind of dissolve and I. And then I, like, gave you a kiss and I was like, all right, so I'm excited to go tomorrow. And I could tell that we were both like, okay, we're neutral. We're done. That's fine. And so a lot of times in relationships, like, that happens. I have no idea what that has to do with money, but it has.

Everything to do with money. Listen, here's the deal. Yes. Brian. Was this the genesis of ttf? Yes. If you look at what happened, there was a little T and there was a T. There was not an F last night.

There was a Fall asleep.

Is that one of them A Tell me, touch me. Fall asleep.

Fall asleep.

Yeah, we'll end up with that other f. Tonight after date night.

Yeah. See, that's the thing is I felt like I. I was like, tomorrow's date night. It's like. It's funny. As a girl, I'll tell you this right now. Like, I'm, like, thinking in my head, I'm like, should I stay awake? I was so tired. And I was like, should I stay awake? I'm going, I'm fading. I'm fading. And then I was like, screw it, tomorrow's date night. And then I was like, I don't feel guilty. Because I feel like women feel guilty if they, like, don't hit the checklist of even, like, putting out weekly, if I'm being honest. And so then there was. Oh. And I was like, oh, too late. I fall asleep. But I knew we were going on date night. And it's usually a guarantee. Because my love language is time. And if you give me time, magical things will happen.

Yes. This was. It's not even magical. Like, this is like clockwork. It's clockwork guarantee because we figured out our formula.

I don't like the pressure of like.

No, but I'm not talking about clockwork guarantee.

I'm talking about the clockwork guarantee. If you say that I don't like.

You need to stop interpreting. You need to stop interpreting what I'm saying. No, no, no. I'm not even saying that. Listen to what I'm saying. It's like clockwork, the love that I have for you.

Yeah, okay. Anyway, moving on to the money topic.

All right, so anyways, we're back to our final thoughts here in this money topic. Here's the game I'm gonna end on for the guys. Okay, here's the deal.

Yeah, we gotta go.

Yeah, here's the. Here's what I'm gonna end on. Here's how it goes. Okay. Money wise, as a man, you must be okay. Like, at some level, you must become okay with two things. Two, two, two. Two things. One, you must be okay with the idea that at the foundation, your responsibility as a man is to produce money. If you cannot accept this, if you cannot be open to the possibility of this as a man in a relationship with children, with a wife. If you cannot be open to the possibility and you continue to expect your wife to equally produce, you expect your wife to pay the bills with you. You expect this to happen, but you are unwilling to pay the fucking price to become bigger and better than you currently are as a producer to where work is an option for your wife. If you do not continue to push yourself and understand at the foundation, one of the requirements and roles as a man is to get fucking paid. 2. When you have not fallen into the place of being the producer that you were born to be, that you can be that you must be. Your watching more Netflix than you are increasing your skill sets, you're watching more Netflix and fucking around on your phone and your cell phone and making excuses like I did for years, making excuses for why your wife should want you, love you, connect with you, be with you, et cetera. Why she's a critical bitch that's constantly trying to cut your balls off while you're not producing. While you're not producing, then you must also understand that the attack coming from your wife is not an attack. It's a call to rise.

I think this is going to trigger a lot of women too, that maybe listen or watch the podcast because they're like, oh, the man doesn't like. Women will also want this control of, like, well, the man doesn't have to produce. He doesn't have to. And I will just tell you, ladies, like, you can be a producer and he can be a producer. Like, like, it can be an equal equation, but inside of the relationship, like, there has to be this balance. Like, you have to feel like you're taken care of. So I don't know the end.

It's okay. We're gonna end on that.

All right, I like it. Take care of your wife.

Take care of her.

Take care of your husband.

Take care of your husband. Take care of. We take your husband. Tell me, touch me, fuck me. Take care of your wife.

What does that mean? Get paid, get paid, get laid.

Get paid, get laid. Is that the end of our message? That's the subject line for this one. Get paid, get laid.

I will say from a girl's perspective, if you. It's more attractive even if you can, like, carry yourself if the guy can also carry himself as well. So get paid, both, get laid.

And here's the thing, I'm going to tell you, this has nothing to do with the idea that your wife cannot be a producer. My wife is an ultra producer. And the truth is, my wife out produces most men that I know. And inside of that place, we both have roles as a couple which allow us to both experience the growth and the possibility of who we are as individuals and as a couple in growth. But there is a clear role responsibility. And my responsibility is the king and hers is not that role. Gentlemen, have a great rest of your day. Ladies, have a great rest of your day. For those who are here on the live stream inside of the Wake Up Warrior Brotherhood, we love and appreciate you guys. That brings a wrap to this daily fuel for today. For the rest of all of you who are part of the listenership here of the podcast, my wife has some special notes for you.

Special announcement if you're a lady, I have a big money stylist podcast and I also have the Day youy Wife podcast and both of them are I put on my blog every week as a repeat. You can go to dkwstyling.com find out more about me, hair plus catch fashion and a repeat of both of my podcasts.

Beautiful. And for all the men out there, gentlemen, if you are ready for a new experience to jump into this game of power and you have not accessed the book found@warriorbook.com we do offer a 30 day, very intense, minimal investment, $100 experience known as the King's Kit Challenge. We'd love to have you there. Head on over to warriorbook.com or the Kingskit. Com. Thanks so much for being here. We will talk to you next week as we top into the topic of parenting, which we're going to do that podcast in Europe. We are from our cell phone with our children after 23 hours of traveling. All right, we're out. We'll talk to you next week.