GRATITUDE | Date Your Wife | EP 065

Hello, my friends. It's your boy, Garrett J. White, the founder of Wake Up Warrior and fired CEO of DKW Styling.

You're out.

Danielle has fired me as a CEO.

You know why?

You need to talk into that microphone.

You know why I fired you?

Why have I been fired as CEO of DKW Styling?

Because I feel like you have slowly been exiting and I'm slowly, like, coming back in the mix. And then you make decisions in my business that I've been there and you haven't been there. And I'm like, excuse me, excuse me, I'm sorry, but I'm putting in an extra like two, three days a week of time and energy and stress with this. You do not gonna make these crucial decisions anymore. You're fired.

Okay, so my new position is Man Whore?

Well, no. And I think that in the past, so if you don't know, I own a hair extension business called Natural Beauty Rose. We have an education company called Big Money Stylist, which is the business marketing and sales of Natural Beauty Rose. And I, like, a couple years ago, I was stressed and I need more teams and implementation. And I was like, garrett, you're on it. Like, I. Because I kept trying to hire people that weren't getting it done. And then Garrett would come in and he'd give me advice on how it could get done. And I finally got to this place in our marriage and I was like, I listen, like, what if I hire you? Like, I can't think of anybody else that, like, I would want me. Like, Like, I'm always asking you for help anyways. Can you just take this on? And anyways, we had this big long conversation and you were kind of like, all right, if I. If I'm on it, like, you can't. Like, you can't argue my decisions. I make. Like, you can't. Like, we're going, we're going for it, we're doing it. So like the last probably couple years, I kind of like, was organizing my salon. I also own a salon in Laguna beach. And I was in the process of creating a hands on hairline. And I just had a lot of shit going on. So he was helping me, his teams are helping me, and everybody's in the mix. And then, like, we had a lot of stuff, like, blow up this last year, like, with both of my education and inside of my salon. And I'm like, fuck, I need to get back in. So I. I realized I was like, kind of like too distant. I was like, okay, I. I'm not quite there yet. I need to get back in. And I was still doing hair and stuff and, like, doing all that, but I felt like there was being decisions being made that I was like, I would never, ever do that in my business. And he's like, cool, it's not your business. I was like, so I've been slowly getting back in, but knowing, like, for me, getting back into. Because we have teams, there wasn't the same stress level as, like, I was trying to do everything. Do you know what I mean? So it's like I'm jumping back into.

So are you the CEO?

Yeah, I'm jumping back in. I'm basically.

You're becoming the CEO.

Yeah, you're the CEO.

You're going to be CEO.

Yeah, but I still. I. But here's the thing is you were.

Like, chief entertainment officer.

That's not really what it means.

CEO, chief executive, entertainment officer.

It does not entertain me.

So you're gonna really step in.

I feel like I already have, and you've been stepping out, but it's been good. I feel like I'm seeing things that I'm like, wow, that's what we're doing. Cool. That's gonna change, and I think it'll be good.

I think you're emotionally ready to do this because you're talking a big fucking game right now.

No, I'm way emotionally ready to do this. I think the problem is in the past, literally, I was, like, overwhelmed trying to do every little detail. And if you're a business owner and you're trying to create massive momentum in your business, like, you cannot do it all. Like, I can't. Like, I physically can't. Like, I can't do all the marketing. I can't, like, do the videos. I can't, like, organize. I can't organize all the little detailed shits for events. And I mean, I even had, you know, hairstylists helping me organize my small classes. And that felt so nice to, like, relieve some of that pressure. And then it was like, okay, we need more help. But I was still. I don't know you. I don't know if you remember back, but when we started BMS and you weren't, like, fully in it yet, I would still, like, somebody would set up the details, but I was still, like, training the whole day. And I'm sure you can appreciate how exhausting that is. So to have. You would come in and train from 3 to 6, but I'd come in from 8 to 3. And then I was just so grateful to be done at Three and be like, oh, I don't have to train. Like, it's just a lot of energies to enter, not entertain. But it is kind of entertaining.

I know. I run this thing called Warrior Week.

I know, but that's what I'm saying.

Four and a half days, 18 hours a day. And I trained it by myself.

Me, train with me like you had. You had like Sam kind of stepped.

In with warrior after 29 warrior weeks.

Right. But I'm just saying like the person that I was hoping was like gonna be my Danielle didn't. She wouldn't. It was such a fight. Like she couldn't, she couldn't do it. She couldn't train like I could. And even like last year was manifestation of that. Like it didn't work out, it exploded, she left, she did her own thing. And now we have Ani who it's like now I'm like, okay, like you, you can keep up with this game. Like, you're committed, you're invested. And so now it's like, okay, I can come back in knowing that I don't emotionally have to do even like those long days of training anymore. Do you know what I mean? Like, I can come in and just be there for part of it, but I still want to be involved in making like executive decisions. So anyways, I'm jumping.

So you're gonna be a CEO and.

I think it's gonna be healthy for our marriage because like we, like the thing is we'd end up fighting. I'd be like, why are we doing this? And you're like, cause I'm the fucking CEO. And I'd be like, I don't wanna. No, no, no. And now I think it's kind of. I think it'll be good. I feel like I think it'll be good. We'll give it a shot. I'm jumping in.

Well, I mean, the reality for me is I have already got four other companies. And inside of the stress that I deal with in those worlds, most of my teams are the ones that run the backside support of making sure that BMS and the salon continue to work and that stress all leans on me. And then I come home after working from my full time game with my four companies only to end up having to problem solve inside of what is, quote unquote, your companies.

I think what's hard to.

And so now I'm like, I don't give a fuck. I don't even want to talk about this right now. It's a Saturday. I don't give A fuck about your problems. I've already dealt with a shitload of problems.

It's hard to, like, turn it off. And so you even said to me, you're like, I want a weekend off. I want a break. But then you're like, I got to do this. What you said to me today, you're like, oh, I got to do this podcast, and I got to do this. And I was like, I thought you wanted a day off.

No, I want a day off. I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to deal with your shit.

And that's what I realize is entrepreneurs and people.

I'll deal with my shit. I just don't want to deal with your shit.

Totally. Because it's, like, you can manage that. You have, like, the endurance for that. You have the threshold for that. Like, you know, there's shit that needs to be done. It's. It's stressful, but it's, like, it's doable because it's, like, your passion. And so that's one thing with. With Garrity was like, listen, I. And that was frustrating for me because I'm like, I. I want to utilize your teams, and because I can't do it alone, I can be the passionate one behind it. So that's where, like, we.

I just had an idea. Okay, so all your events can be run by Sage. Sage is an event management company, and they are. They run all the events for three individuals, including click funnels.

I know to not have your team run it because you, Sage, would. Every time we have now, like, every time we have an event, like, it's awesome, but I'm always like, why? Why do we need Daniel? I don't need somebody to bring me chocolate at the snap of the finger. I mean, it's nice. Like, don't get me wrong. I. I like the. Like, I like that they literally, like, walk you up to your car, walk you in. We go back to the room where all the TVs are up for the events, and there's, like, 17 guys. And I'm like, do we need 17 guys? Does every guy need to be here? No, I'm not kidding you.

You. Wait, you're not gonna. You think you're gonna hire an event company, and. And all you're gonna have is 17 people from Sage, just not from Warrior.

Okay, but be honest.

Be honest with what?

Be honest. Like, does Guyre Bendarski. Does every single member of Warrior need to be there to make sure it's.

Not every single Member of Warrior.

But then why do places.

How do you think a 500 person event happens? Do you think they just snap their fingers and magically screens fall up and all the chairs are lined up?

Here was my question.

All the technology.

Here was my question.

The nine cameras.

Don't be rude to me. There's my question. So we rented out this huge event space and they supply a lot of like, tech support. And when I went back there, a lot of the times the guys weren't really doing anything. So I was just wondering if you go to a venue where they supply a lot of the equipment.

Are you talking about AV Irvine?

Yeah. So if you.

It was the very first time we'd run an event there.

I know, but that's what I'm asking you. If you go to a place where they say, hey, we have our own tech support. Hey, we have our own. When you do it at hotels, like, you gotta bring all that shit in. They don't supply it for you. So that's what I'm saying. Like, yeah, we did it in a hotel in the past, but now doing it, say specifically at AV Irvine, where they say they have all that. Do you need as many guys from Warrior or could you just have like two that make sure that they're like.

Well, it's gonna be really simple. We're gonna have zero, including me. It's gonna be Sage. Sage is your new company.

I didn't answer my question.

I have answered your question.

No, you didn't.

To run an event, number one, you're clueless to what it takes to run an event. You are, you are very aware and powerful at running an 8 to 10 person event. Running anything above that, you're clueless.

That's why I was.

Cause you literally show up several hours after the event started like a princess in valet, while my teams escort you to the back of the stage to put on a microphone, of which you slept in and walked around our neighborhood while the teams had been working the entire night.

I went surfing the same morning and drove with me.

And I built all of these teams.

I'm not trying to start an argument with you. I'm specifically asking like, okay, does everybody. If I were to hire Sage or whatever, and I'm doing it at A.V. irvine, do you actually need that many people to have an event? I mean, you can call me a princess all day long. Specifically like, hey, do I need that? If we're in a separate house, how many people do you hiring? Separate.

How many people do you think are there? How many people, you said 17. Let's count how many there were.

Oh, my God. Trevor, we can get over your triggers right now. Nicole, you just still didn't answer your question.

Bendarski, are you gonna answer my question?

Are you gonna answer my question?

Johan, who else? We have Trevor, there's eight. That's eight people.

Okay, so. So obviously I was exaggerating, but are you still avoiding the question?

I'm not avoiding the question. You said, do you need 17 people? And I said, no. Cause we don't need 17 because we didn't have 17 people there.

But if you have AV Irvine with.

A team AV Irvine takes care of.

What would you recommend?

AV Irvine takes care of that big ass TV. That's it.

And then what do you.

And then you can get them to bring in food and cater if you'd like. Great. You can do that. You can have them do some stuff there. They can put out some tables for you. They don't run check in. They don't handle. They don't have anything else. Yeah, you could probably get. Listen, you could go and have. You could have an event, all the BMS events at your salon right now.

But even with, like my own teams, I can say, hey, I'm paying you guys, you're running check in and this and this and this.

Exactly what did you say? You'd pull your whole team in and make them work. Now that is a great solution because guess what currently happens, all my core team gets pulled in to run these events.

Right.

I like where this is going. Continue down this path. Because this is great.

That's great. We can fight about this all the time.

We're not fighting. We're not fighting. We're having a conversation that's got some resolutions.

Is he triggered? Is she just understanding the question?

No, I understand the question completely. You just gave us a magical answer. Your whole team from the salon comes in to run.

I said, should I have people come in and pull do registration?

Yes. Have your concierge low. Have Crystal have your artist.

Here's what I'll do. I can see this heated. So what I'll do is I'm gonna ask Jeff, like, realistically or I'll ask Ani because she would know who do we need for check in and what other logistics may we need? And I'll figure it out.

I like it. So you're gonna take on your own event this year, the big one.

You already said you're not gonna be there.

I know you're gonna take it on then.

I already committed to taking it on.

As you're having a baby.

I'm gonna strap my baby to my chest and be like, hello, me and Isla are here.

We're here to educate it.

Because that's how hardcore I am.

I like it.

Literally. Just push this baby out. She's now in a Bjorn on my chest. And you're gonna get some amazing ass education right now.

I like it. Okay, well, it's final. Let's shake on it. Shake hands. We're committing to this. You're gonna use your team, not mine, to run your BMS events. Shake on it. Let's go. You ready? Let's commit right now. This is a big commitment.

Not shaking anything.

Exactly. Not committed. Not committed. Let me tell you what's gonna happen with your little coffee wearing artist. They're gonna fucking melt under the first.

I'm not gonna like wave of shit and sign a contract when I don't know the details.

Why is shaking a contract like, let's shake hands?

Like, it's like, shake hands. Like, what?

Nail them butt?

Is that like, should we such an exaggerator. Spit first and shake. Because then it's like super concrete. And then you could be like, remember that one time on a podcast and we spit and shook hands?

You owe me.

And I'm gonna be like, yeah, no.

I would love you to spit on your hand. I just don't want you to shake on it. You could go somewhere else with it though.

That's not enough spit. So it's not sex. Sweet. Garrett, I thought we were gonna talk about gratitude. I'm like, we are.

I'm grateful for you right now. I am super grateful for this conversation because literally you've just triggered the shit out of you. You've given me permission and you've taken it on yourself. I pushed you a little bit. Are you CEO? And you literally took it on. You took it on. You volunteered your own teams and we agreed that you're gonna talk to Sage.

I said, what are the logistics of running an event?

And then you made the comment, I'll just have my teams. And I was like, that is all I've been looking for. That's fantastic. Cause you got a team of like nine. They're fantastic. Ani, Crystal low. Ian. Amanda.

I could do that, but I'm not gonna commit to something if I don't know the details.

There's seven right there. You got seven people.

I know, and I think you had six too many. So I'll find out the details.

Okay, good. Well, I only had seven. I'm not sure how one person was gonna run a 300% event, that's fine.

If AV Irvine says they offer X, Y and Z. And I ask Ani, hey, what logistically, what else do we need to get this event started? And I find out how many people we need for it, I am confident that I could hire out seven people.

Okay, I like it. Should we shake on it? Let's go. As long as they're not Warrior team members.

Here's the other thing, too.

I'm very excited about this. I am super fucking excited about this.

Let me tell you, when I. I.

Feel free already, I feel like a fat guy that lost 50 pounds overnight.

Let me tell you another thing too.

I feel like a meth lab, meth addict who stopped using drugs.

I have two people on my team and somehow they just end up going and working for Warrior because he's a.

Bigger company and he's did not hire them.

Yes, I did.

Who tell them? Runaround Runar. You did not hire.

Yes, I did.

Runar was writing emails for you.

No.

And you were paying him a thousand. He did not work for you full time. You contract him to write emails.

You contract him out for me.

He was writing some emails. And what does he do for you now?

No, he. Okay, so he redid my entire funnel and my blogs and he pitched to me, hey, if you want to pay me this amount per month, this is a service I offer.

It was like $4,000 a month for you.

I don't care. I contracted him out and then contracted him. I work for Garrett now. I can't be contracted out for you. And I was like, motherfucker.

He got a full time job and he was working for me as a contractor before he did work for you. The only way you knew him was because of us.

It doesn't matter. You tell me to hire people off, so I do, and then you take them back and then you're like, hire your own team.

Listen, you only have two examples for this. One is Daniel. And Daniel was working with us in contract work for a year and a half before, you know, I contracted him out after. So you, you went. You cheated with. Cheated on me, going behind my back, finding my contractors and taking them to your teams. And all I did was outbid you. So why don't you spend more?

Because you have a bigger company. That would be a stupid business decision to outbid you.

Well, they've got to make good business decisions for their own lives and their own families. They can't sit around and collect new.

Well, If I find a good contract out, are you going to come in and offer them a better deal?

I don't know if they're great at what they do. I probably will.

You might. Stupid asshole.

All right.

Can you see how it's really. It's tough for me to win. Do it on your own.

Okay.

He's really good. I'll take him up full time.

You're such a baby. You're acting like such a baby.

You're a baby.

All right, so let's have a drink and figure out where the fuck this show's going.

It's going nowhere.

It's not going anywhere. It is going somewhere. I'll tell you where it's going. You know where it's going. It's going to gratitude. Do you know why it's going to gratitude?

Gratitude. Because your head might explode.

No, my head. You keep making all these stories about somehow where my mind is.

You're getting to that edge.

You're getting to that edge.

No, you're getting to the edge.

You're getting to that edge where I'm.

Gonna give it to you. I'm like, with your spouse and it's funny, and then all of a sudden it gets real serious real quick, and you're like, oh, that wasn't funny anymore. Yeah, that's where we're at.

Well, good. We danced the line. And that's why I'm grateful. I'm grateful for the fact that you've decided to use your entire team to run your own events. I'm excited for this. This is what I'm grateful for. So I'm gonna do a grateful stack about this right now. So we have a daughter and she is amazing.

People don't know what the stack is?

Nope.

It's pretty cool. You should tell them about it.

The stack is a series of questions, but there are five different versions of this. And in July, this will be available to marketplace@attackwithastack.com. oh, well, I have a book coming out called Attack with the Stack. We also have a software that is being built that will be done in May, and then we will launch it in July to the public called the Tactless Stack, which is a support tool. But I'm giving an example of a text that I sent my daughter. I'm going to read it right here. And it really did alter the way that I was experiencing. Experiencing myself as a father with her. So I'm going to send you a text.

So basically, the stack, there's Happy Stack, Gratitude Stack, Angry Stack, Mega Stack, And Garrett created the stack, like, two years ago. Probably a little over two years ago.

Because we're now almost three years from when I was originally cooking it.

It was like a way to deal.

With my fucking rage. Yeah, that's how it started.

But you gotta share the story of, like. I think the story's kind of funny now, but in the moment, I didn't. And we were actually at the same restaurant that you very first shared a stack with me.

Do you remember Surf Van Sant?

Yes. And we were like. We were flashing.

There's splashes.

Yes. But we were.

Oh, we were sitting probably in the same seat we were in tonight.

That's so funny. I just think about it.

Tonight, that night didn't end up well.

No, but you gotta tell him why.

Well, I started reading the stack to her, but the stack started out. It was. It was a. No, it was a mega stack, which means it starts out with release.

The rage starts out.

It pretty much starts out like, danielle's a fucking bitch and I hate her. Like, it was, like, very angry.

And he's, like, smiling, and I'm smiling, reading the show, and I'm like, I need a Sir, can I get another cocktail? Like, I wasn't pregnant at the time. And I'm like. I'm, like, trying to, like. Because he's smiling, so I'm trying to like.

So, like, let me back up real quick and help you understand what this tool is. So one of the challenges that men have is the inability to express emotion, right? So what ends up happening is men suppress emotion. They stuff it, they drink, they smoke, they do whatever, or they just don't fucking talk, right? Because society for 100 years and the systematic sedation of men, which you can learn more about Inside the warrior book@warriorbook.com, but this process, over 100 years ago, started where men were literally taught and trained and educated to not express feeling. And so in this place, and I train men, this is what I've done for, like, seven years. We've been running Wake Up Ways since 2012, and we've been training tens of thousands of men around the globe on the conversation of what we call the Warrior's way. And inside the warriors way. This whole. One of the premises of this is to be able to get a man to his truth, right? Which is to help a man. Well, we found out the tools we're using work with women too. And we've had hundreds of women use these tools over the last year as we've released them inside of Big Money. Stylist as well as warrior woman events we did last year. But the whole point of this is to be able to ask yourself a series of questions that will allow you to release the energy that you're feeling. If you're angry, if you're fucking raging, you get to release it. If you're angry or triggered or irritated, you can release it. If you're happy, you get to release it. If you're. And gratitude's a little bit different because it slows you down and requires you to look back. So nonetheless, like, I have this tool that we've been using and thousands and thousands of these stacks are done every single day by students inside of our programs. And it's very powerful. Like arguably the most powerful thing that's ever come out of anything I've ever, ever been part of. Like anything I've been part of creating or being part of the co creation of this tool, the stack, we have couples doing it, individuals doing it. It is a life fucking saver.

I notice a huge change in you and team members when they use it. Like, it literally just like puts perspective.

On things you've done. Two.

I've done two.

Two stacks. Well done. High five. One, two. No, no fives. All right, well, I'm still be grateful for you and your heart emoji for it. So anyways, I have. One of the things I released was I realized that we were not experiencing gratitude a ton. And so a Happy stack was one that was born out of like the first two years we only did mega stacks and angry stacks, and that was really good for guys. Then we launched Happy Stack because once we got rid of a lot of this anger and rage, we realized that we were actually happy sometimes, but we only had angry mega stack. So then we went to the Happy stack and that was great. And then we went and evolved into the gratitude stack, which was really about saying, okay, I'm gonna deliberately pause and I'm gonna judo a situation. So I had some situation where I was getting irritated on my daughter and instead of doing an angry or mega stack on her, I did a gratitude stack. And here's what it was. Here we go. Domain. Let's see. Well done, Garrett. So the way we do these, you're with an interactive AI bot, so an artificial intelligence that's literally communicating back and forth with you. So the answers you give it questions you back based upon how you answer it, engages with you throughout the process. And it feels like you're having a texting conversation inside of our software. So it's Very powerful. It literally feels like you're having a conversation with your wife or your husband or whoever it is. So then at the very end it sends you a revelation. And I copy this revelation. I send it to people that I've done the stack on every day when I do these gratitude stacks. So I did one on Bailey, our 12 year old after a night of being just another fury of issues on Sunday night. And I launched it and I said, Bailey came down and says, well done, Garrett. That was a great gratitude stack. I'm stoked we went through the process together. Here's a summary of today's stack domain. So we select between body being balance or business. And this one was obviously balance. And then the whole game of stacking is about dealing with your stories.

Is there a kids stack? Like something simple that kids can do?

No, we haven't done that yet. Will eventually, I'm sure, evolve to a kid stack, but we haven't got there.

Well, think about like kids sometimes they're going through a lot and they don't know how to feel about their emotions 100%. They need this stuff. It'd be a really good teaching tool.

We spent seven years just trying to help guys. Now I've got that part figured out and we help some ladies. We'll eventually get there, I think with the kids. So the original story. Bailey is an elite creator and whatever she focuses on, she dominates the lesson learned. You can't access or assess the value of an asset until it has matured. Now I was referencing asset as Bailey and then I went, I said, here are the facts. I love my daughter. She is so special and so talented. I watched her on stage from 2017 at Funnel Hacking live for five minutes with a microphone, speak more powerfully than 99% of the adults I know. She crushed it. I showed the video to her also. She watched it and was shocked. She looked at me and said, quote, I was really good, dad, quote I told you. I told her. I agree. Here's the bottom line. My daughter has so many powerful traits and characteristics. And most powerful, when she commits to something, there is only one place for her being the best. She is just like her mother. Doesn't commit to much, but when she does, game over. I love my daughter no matter what the end. Have a great rest of your day, Garrett. I'll check in with you again tomorrow. Fist Bump. Dark Heart Fire gjw. So like this is a revelation comes through. My daughter sends me a bunch of heart emojis. So I send that on the first day. Then, then Tuesday. I send her another gratitude stack and I say, well done, Gary. That was a great gratitude stack. I'm stoked we went through this process together. Here's a summary of today's stack domain was Balance the original story? Bailey's handling the game of life at a young age with commitment and consistency and is figuring out how to be more powerful every day. Desires and actions. I want to hug her and tell her I'm proud of her. I want to celebrate with her victories and guide her to learn in her defeats. I want to love her and support her to become all that she desires to become. I want to be a father that is an example of growing and struggling, not a father that demands perfection. Growing up is hard work and every day we win and we learn how to grow up just a little bit more. Revelation. Bailey shared with me the pure joy of smashing her success with track yesterday. I'm so happy for her. I remember my track days and how much fun they were. She's such an amazing athlete. Volleyball, basketball, track, jiu jitsu, surfing, whatever sport she has chosen, she dominates. That is the power of my daughter. She's a lethal weapon when she chooses to be. Today she chose to sleep in and sleep through her alarms. I get it. And instead of getting angry, I'm just smiling because my daughter's doing an amazing job of growing up. Sixth grade is hard work. The end. Have a great rest of your day. So I send these stacks to my daughter. On the second day, I send this stack to my daughter. She's on the way to school. She said, dad, I didn't have time to read your stack yet. I'm going to read it when I'm at school. So then she sends me hard emojis later in the day and then I send her on a third day in a row. I said, well done, Gary. That was a great gratitude stack. I'm still going through this process together. Here's a summary of today's stack. Now remember, this summary is a summary of a series of questions that you're asked that you're really going into your own revelation and discovering inside your own feelings as a parent, which, honestly, as a parent, I'm coming to find more and more and more that if I don't keep my shit in check, there's no way for my children to keep their shit in check.

That's a tricky thing.

I'm going to read this last gratitude stack and then you're going to give us some feedback on all this. Well done, Garrett. That was A great gratitude stack. I'm stoked we went through this process together. Here's a summary of today's stack Domain Balance Original story Bailey is a strong, committed young woman who is willing to take a stand, desires and actions. I want to acknowledge her strength and let her know I see it. I want to encourage her to continue to take a stand and to guide her on the power of influence. I want to acknowledge that she is a leader and will always be a leader her entire life. I want to hug her and tell her I know and let her know I love her no matter what lesson. I can focus on my daughter's strengths or I can focus on her weaknesses, but in the end they are both the same Coin Bailey revelation. Bailey. This time I wrote it as more like a letter to her. So, Bailey, you are a powerful young woman. You have a fire and intensity that is unique and exciting. Your ability to lead your friends the way you dealt with issues with Kelsey last year and the powerful way in which you were a lead your sister. Inspiring. I know at times me and mom battle with you over this gift you have. But know this. I believe in you. I see you and I love your strong will and your commitment to take a stand for what you want no matter what and with anyone. This is going to be a massive strength for you in your life and it already has been. Love you no matter what, dad. Have a great rest of your day, Garrett. I'll check anything in tomorrow. Fist bump. Black heart. Fire. Gjw, which these are just the symbols that show up. So I. This. This completely altered Bailey. Like I tested it just to see what would happen. And like for the first three days at least with me, I don't know how she was acting with you. Like it was a. It was a totally different morning experience, totally different routine, but it was softens.

Her a little bit.

And I think it's how often I said I was sending these to Parker too. And Parker, I had him come up on. I had him come up on stage and share about it and he was very emotional about it and he said this was. He's like, I've often felt invisible with you, dad, and like I don't know how I'm doing. And so sending these gratitude sacks to my children is part of the Core 4 game has been super powerful this week. I sent you a few gratitude sacks. I don't know how you felt about them. Yeah, I sent one to you of you.

I don't think you did.

I did let them go to it. I'll Read it right here.

No, you just sent me the ones you sent to Bailey.

No, I sent one directly to you about you. I'll show it to you.

I think the bottom line is, like, when you're stressed and like, when, like, I don't know, for me, even if I didn't do a gratitude stack, there's some mornings, like, the stress of life, family, business, whatever it is, like, you just feel like such, like, in a dark place, and it's hard to snap out of that. And you start to see the world through kind of a negative lens. And it really, like, it doesn't just, like, affect you. You have to think if you're running companies, you have a family, like the trifecta it has on everybody around you. And so I think the best way to snap out of it is, like, yeah, we both like working out. And that kind of gets some endorphins and whatnot. But I think if you, like, literally take a step back and think, like, oh, my God, look where we're at. Look at, like, the good moments. I think you have this sense of, like, appreciation. And literally, like, for me, I feel like my whole countenance change. And it's like anything that felt sort of stressful or like, ah, everybody's driving me crazy or whatever kind of melts. And it all of a sudden just seems like it's not that big of a deal. Like, you're like, what. What am. What am I complaining about? Like, it literally puts life in such a different light and perspective on things, and it's just like. And when you're in that space, like, you feel like you physically feel like you're glowing. And it's hard for anybody to get inside your bubble when you're like that. What is when people can get inside your brain or your bubble is when you're feeling negative. So for me, I think of as, like, gratitude is literally like a protective shield of light around me. And I'm like, there's nothing you can say right now that's going to knock me down right now. You feel more powerful when you have that joy and that outlook on life and just feeling gratitude. So I think of gratitude as just being like a little shield. And I would imagine if, like, you can put that perspective with kids and share that with kids, it probably in a way makes them feel more powerful, you know, for all we know, like, she was feeling like that and then went in and like, smashed her day in track, you know, and she didn't maybe pay attention to the little things of, like, God, why do I feel so unstoppable today? You know? But then goes in and is just like, everybody's, God, Bailey, you're on fire. And it's just because she had that. That experience with you. So you like little things. And I always say this, like, little things, inconsistencies throughout your day. You never know. Like, it starts to have such a big impact. And I know for me, like, it's so hard with her being in sixth grade because she's, like, hormones, very difficult. She's. She's. She's like me, but she's more vocal, like Garrett. Like, she. Plus, she's a girl. So I'm just like, I'm a pretty patient person. But then when you hit me far enough over the ledge, I'm like. I'm like. I don't even know what to do, you know? And so I have to, like, always remind myself, like, all right, you're the adult. You're the adult. You're the adult. And try to, like, not focus on, like, this hormonal time for her, I guess you could say, like, literally, like, even tonight, like, we got in this big argument. Can I have friends over? And we're like, no, no, no. We're on date night. She still texts me, so, mom, can I have friends over? And I almost, like, started laughing. I was like, is she serious? Like, she's serious. Like, I. We literally got an argument said. Like, if you ask again, we're taking your phone away. And then you ask again, like, mom.

It's weird, though, because I get the persistency that she has.

Yeah, you're kind of, like, good for you for being persistent. But then you're like, no, if you.

Put her into sales, like, if I look at it from a business, if she was persistent as fucking like this in sales, she's gonna make shit a little money.

But that's the thing is, I find myself, like, sometimes, mostly usually her logic's, like, pretty bad. But sometimes I'll be like, God, that was a really. And I'm sure if you have kids out there, you can, like, almost appreciate when your kid. You feel like your kid outsmarts you a little.

Yeah.

You're like, damn, that was a good answer. And you're like, okay, yes. But it's hard for me because I feel like I'm always. I'm. I don't want to say I'm a pushover, but I realize the reason I say yes is because I, like, avoid conflict so much in life. And we've had this conversation on One of our last podcasts how, like, women tend to be people pleasers, but they're not necessarily people pleasers or conflict avoiders. And I would say I'm super guilty of that. Like, oftentimes I give in to my children because I'm like, ah, it's gonna create less conflict right now, but in the end it just bite you in the ass. So, like, being consistent in the long run actually works out better in your favor. And even being being a conflict avoider, people pleaser long term doesn't help you in your relationship or anything else. Like, if you're constantly trying to be that people pleaser person, eventually you just, like, blow up. And so the same thing rule applies with, with children and discipline and all that good stuff. And I swear that's just how life works. You just keep repeating the same lessons over and over and over until you're like, ah, shit, that applies to everything. So I should probably start doing that.

So I sent you a gratitude stack.

You didn't send me one.

I did. I pulled it up.

Sorry. I got cold and then hot and I'm.

I know this is the five and a half months pregnant game you got going on. Now I'm too hot. Now I'm too cold. Now I'm too hot. Now I'm too cold. Now I want a bucket of ice cream. Okay, here we go. Well done, Garrett. That was a great gratitude sacrifice. Yes. I sent it to you on Tuesday, 7:30. No, you didn't even heart it. I didn't get a heart.

Well, you know what? I sent you something.

I didn't even get a response.

I might not have seen it. And you know what?

That's how I felt because I sent you a response about our new nanny and you responded immediately to that.

Oh, well, you know what? That's how I felt when I sent you, like, this personality test and you didn't even harder read.

The personality test wasn't even personal.

I know, but I wanted to.

You copied you screenshot some shit and sent it to me.

I spent a lot of time reading it.

All right, well, I'm gonna read this and then you can heart it because I spent a lot of time reading this and writing it. Domain balance, Original story.

I spent a lot of time reading it. I thought it was cute and you would appreciate it. And you didn't answer it.

You sent it to me in the middle of day one.

You sent me that at five.

No, I sent you that at 7:26am.

You know, that's in the middle of kid Chaos.

So I'm just telling you. And then you sent me that thing. You sent me that at 3 o' clock in the middle of my first day of a four day.

You sent me when I was in the middle of kids chaos time. So.

Well, it appears we're both double fucked.

Yeah.

So anyways, grateful for you.

Cool. Keep it.

Let me read you this gratitude stack and then we're gonna wrap this show up. Danielle is an elite human being who handles a game of business, marriage, parenting and pregnancy with power and grace, desire and actions. I just want to protect her while she's pregnant and assure that she has everything she needs. I want to hug her until I love her and how much I love being her partner in life. I want to tell her how inspired I am by her commitment and courage as a woman in all of her roles, from businesswoman to artist to mother to lover to partner. Want her to know I'm ride or die with her. Period lesson.

Was this a gratitude stat?

It was a little different than sending me a screenshot from astrology.

I'm sorry, but I have. You used to send me just angry stacks and you'd send me like the last part of the angry stack and I was like, I don't even know you're mad at me.

You didn't even read this.

I don't know if I did. I think I meant to go back and read it and I can't. So you didn't read it.

I appreciate you reframing it. Marital mutual respect is something it takes a very long time to uncover, but once found, is priceless and profound revelation. I sit and look at my wife hustling while five months pregnant. I'm just inspired. Inspired by the sacrifice it is to be pregnant and have your body do what it does with the little person inside of you that is growing. Inspired by the fact that she can do something I can't. AKA make a baby. But of all the things, the one that hits home the most is the fact that she can make the baby, but also continues to smash the shit out of life. I love her. I'm inspired by her. She's become my closest ally in life. It feels so good. The end. Have a great day. Have a great rest of your day, Garrett. I'll check in with you again tomorrow. And a few screenshots down. Hey, screenshot. Here's the address to the thing on Saturday. Screenshot. You're a hummingbird from astrology. You're a fucking hummingbird from the zodiac sign.

I was really interested in it.

I know, but I hear that you screenshotted some shit, and I, like, wrote out this, like, heartfelt thing for you, and I got it. I didn't even get a heart emoji.

I thought it was a copy from a stack.

It was. It was a copy from the stack. It was gratitude stack.

Right.

But you probably didn't know it was grat stack. You're used to angry stacks coming to you.

But. Yeah, but what I'm saying is I think I do remember seeing it in the morning, but I literally was, like, in the middle of getting kids out.

The door in the morning, were at 7:35.

And I was like, oh, shit, I'll read that later. And then you can tell after my text after that that I was in mom mode, because I was like, here's the address of the school thing. Here's. And I just realized I didn't go back and read it, but I thought that was cute. You know what's so funny is I notice with you, like, I'll be, like, waddling down the stairs and I'll just feel like shit. And I'll just be like, have a hoodie on. And I got my Lululemon leggings on. I'm just. My Uggs on. And I'm like, I'm gonna go eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Like, that's usually what I'm thinking. And I just look at you, and you're just smiling, and I'm like, why are you smiling? Do you feel bad? But now that makes sense. Like, you're maybe like, oh, good job. Like, maybe I don't.

I think you're. No, I think you're hot. I think you're cute. I think it's. I'm inspired. It's amazing. I'm grateful. So we're gonna end this show.

I don't feel like I have a grateful stack for you, but I did read some astrology reports on you that.

I thought, hey, you know what? That's your version. And that's okay. We're gonna run with it. And I didn't read your zodiac sign thing.

And I even asked you at dinner tonight, I'm like, didn't you think that was interesting about.

And I didn't even read it.

I know.

So here I am being a hypocrite for you not reading the gratitude sack. But I didn't read the zodiac sign Hardy anything.

And I did. And I actually was like, literally.

Did you feel sad?

No.

You did.

I didn't feel sad, but I remember I was. I Was like, I get really weirdly into that stuff at night. Like, I read. Start reading all this shit, and I just like. I like knowing people's personalities, and I don't know. So I was. I found like, a new zodiac thing, and I was looking at all my girls and Garrett, and it just makes. It helps me to, like, understand people better. So I think that's why I like it, because I'm like, oh, okay, cool. That's why they react this way, or that's why I react this way or whatever.

But anyways, I will read it tonight.

I know you're reading it.

I will come to find out why I'm a hummingbird.

I know you're not super into, like, astrology and all that kind of stuff. And it's not necessarily astrology. I just like personality stuff.

So, anyway, so we're gonna wrap this lesson with simply this. Gratitude is the ability to look back, be it right. Gratitude opens up a few things. And I teach about this inside the new book Attack with a Stack, coming out in July this year, 2019. But we go through this, and I've seen this happen through business. I've seen it happen with team members. One of the things we require in all of our companies is, like, everyone is required to fill out a gratitude stack every week on their position in the company and their gratitude for having a job and being part of the team. And the flip side, we as leadership teams create gratitude stacks about our team members and our employees, about why we're so grateful to have them. So we've been doing this for a long time this way. And this was the first time I started using it in daily text. It was the first time I sent Danielle one. But the whole premise of the gratitude stack is the ability to look back, right? To look back. Here's where I am. Let's look back at where we were, and let's be grateful for what is right. And the fact is, I think part of why this pregnancy is so much different for me is because I'm just grateful for who you are and grateful for what we've become as a couple. And I think back to my son Parker in my previous marriage, and then Bailey and Ruby with you. And I've never been present during pregnancy. Like, I've never had, like, a caring. I don't think I've had a caring vibe about me. I think I've had a kind of. I isolate and I don't really know how to deal with the whole pregnancy thing for a year or two that it takes to kind of go through that.

I think that's probably too part of the reason why. I mean, there's gonna be eight years between Ruby and the new one, the new baby coming. And I think that, like, part of the reason, I know in the back of my mind is I. I think I sense, at least with Ruby, like, you were isolated. Do you know what I mean? And it was like, I think in the back of my mind, I was like, oh, my God, like, is that gonna be hard for us? But then I got to this point with our relationship where I was like, no, I need to give us, like, credit for where we now. And, like, if. If we have struggles now, and if he. If we can't, like, do this pregnancy thing again, then. Then our relationship's not as strong as maybe we think it is. And so for me, I was like, well, okay, here we go.

And I think we're doing good.

I think we're doing good. No, I've noticed you have been way more like. Just like. Like I said, like, I'll be, like, walking downstairs, and you're just smiling, kind of looking at me, and I know you're thinking, like, she's cute. And I'm kind of like, you feel like shit. I just start laughing because I know you. I know your energy behind it. I'm just like. I just want to be like, shut up. Like, you know, I don't know. You know, I don't know.

I think it's because I think your ass looks great.

No, but this. And not.

And I think you just overall your energy, and I just. I love you, so. I love looking at you. I love being here, Excited for the baby, excited for you, excited for all of you.

I think it's like we both kind of, like, have this moment where we kind of smile and connect, and it's just like. Like, we know we're in a good place right now with life and marriage, and we're, like, excited for the next chapter instead of, like, in the past. Even with Ruby, I was like, we're having a baby. I don't even know if I like him that much, you know? And it was just, like, a really kind of scary time for us as a family, relationship, like, financially, like, everything. And now we're just in a different place in life. And so just going on the whole gratitude topic, like, when you look back to how maybe it was just this last time, which was, like, eight years ago, things are so different, and it's just, like, cool to be in a place different, different space, and Puts a different perspective on thing. And one thing that I'll leave you guys with on this show is, like, think of gratitude, especially with your. Your children, is like, when you're in a space of gratitude, nothing can get you down. So use it as like a protective shield for yourself, for your family, for your children, and ultimately to, like, feel more powerful in life and get to where you need to be in life. Just, like, going into it with that mindset and that attitude. Because I just notice for me, when I'm in that space, like, I don't know how to describe it. Like, I just kind of feel unstoppable. Like, I just feel more powerful. Not in, like, an egotistical way or just like, I just am, like, super confident. And I'm like, you can't tear me down right now. Like, you can't even ding my shield right now. So kind of like go into that if you're a mom or whatever, like, protect your family with that sense of gratitude.

The end. My friends, thanks so much for being here again. You can check out a few other things going on with us by going to dkwstyling.com or head over to warriorbook.com we also have a new series and a new movie series online right now found@warriorwealth.com so check all of those out. Thank you so much for watching.

Do I get to see a pitch?

I did. I said DKW styling.

Oh, yeah. DKWstyling.com, we have education coming up. If you're listening to this podcast right now, it's your last week to get in.

Last week to get in for 2019. And it's only the first week of the summer.

If you're new to our podcast in general, though, if you go to DKW site, like, I do two podcasts a week. I love fashion, hair. So anyways, that's where I kind of put everything I'm doing is on my blog.

Well done. So talk about gratitude on this week's date night and we'll talk to you guys next week.