I Don't Want to Go to School Anymore! | Date Your Wife | EP 067

Well, hello there, my friends. This is your boy, Garrett J. White, the founder of Wake Up Warrior and author of the book Warrior book, found@warriorbook.com. how about that? I changed my title.

I'm CEO.

Nope. I changed my title. I've been fired as CEO.

Oh, man. I am still being held hostage, and I'm kind of CEO, and then I'm kind of not.

What does this mean, you're kind of CEO, but you're kind of like, come in.

And I'm like, I'm the boss, guys. And I, like, lay out this plan and then, like, follow up. And I'm like, did any of this shit get done? And they're like, well, we gotta check with Garrett. I'm like, I'm the fucking boss. Do you understand this? They're like, but should we check with Garrett?

And I was like, no, but here's the real deal. The real deal is that being the.

Man at home, you can't be the man of my business anywhere, all right?

I'm not trying to be the man of your business. Although you were asking for a little assistance.

Because I was. Because I had these ideas and these plans, and, like, they were not moving forward. And Jeff's like, well, I don't think it's quite necessary to run ads. I'm like, I said run ads. Like, this isn't. I don't care what you think. This is what I said. And he's like, well, let me talk to Garrett. And I was like, did you just.

Break out an accent?

Let me talk to Garrett. And I was like, son of a. Oh, greaty.

Great job. I like that you broke out your accent. I don't know what that was. You went to, like, drunk Irishman English. Yes. I don't know.

I don't know what it is.

So I got a really big sunburned face right now. And I had to cancel a photo shoot for tomorrow. So I had an idea with my client. We were walking around. He wanted to go outside, which I thought was great. So we spent. We spent about five hours walking around. We probably walked, like, six miles. And we would stop in different walking trails right here. It was beautiful today. The only thing I wasn't anticipating was literally, my forehead is fucking bright right now.

What's funny is, I was like, doesn't your moisturizer have sunscreen in it? And then I was like, who am I kidding?

Who am I kidding?

Because, like, for girls, like, any sun, any, like, moisturizer you put on your face is, like, always SPF 90 or whatever. And I was like, oh, silly.

No, Our girls. Girls stuff always has sunscreen on it.

Yes. Like, you. Any kind of. Like, I don't wear a ton of makeup, but, like, tinted moisturizer or, like, just like, my regular daily moisturizer. It's like everything has SPF in it. You don't even have to think about it.

My nose is getting red.

You. And it's so funny.

Like, I'm so burnt in my face right now.

She was like, mom, I really want to be tan. And I was like, it's not in the cards for you, sweetie. And she's like, but why? And I was like, cause Garrett's your dad. And she starts laughing. And I was like. And to be honest, like, I barely tan. She's like, mom, you're, like, Puerto Rican. I was like, that's a spray tan, honey. And that's when she was like, well, can I get a spray tan? And I was like, no.

So our daughter has decided she doesn't want to go to school anymore.

Oh, my God. She is in school.

She's 12, and she's middle school, and she's out of school.

She says, I just feel like. I feel like. I don't.

I'm.

Every day, I'm like, on eggshells. I'm like, are you. Are you my sweet daughter? Are you my crazy daughter?

So let's have a serious talk about this, though. Like, school for you and I growing up. I mean, like, you were not exactly a student.

I'll just tell you a quick background of, like, give us. Because we were having this discussion, like, at dinner, and we were just like. We're like, to school or not to school?

That is the question.

And honestly, I graduated high school. I went to. That's pretty much it. I graduated high school.

But you barely graduated high school with some shenanigans.

I did not. Okay, I.

You pulled some serious shenanigans to graduate from high school.

I had a B minus average, which I am actually.

I don't understand how you did that when you were almost not gonna graduate with, like, four months left to school.

Because I am smart. Although I didn't do homework ever.

By smart, you mean you're a conniving shenanigan artist?

I just. I'm like a procrastinator. And then it's like the last minute, I'm like, well, I gotta graduate. Cause that'd be weird. I mean, I've been here for the. I've been writing this out here to my senior year. It's just weird to not graduate.

Probably finished.

So I just, like, went in and I literally talked to every senior teacher and was like, what can I do? Tell me what I can do.

Were you literally at the point where you were. I mean, it was no go. You were not going to graduate?

Literally, like, my. My mom was like, I can't believe you're not going to graduate. And then I graduated. Not only did I graduate, Mom, I graduated with a B minus average.

But what percentage is a BMI?

That's 80%.

No.

My mom's always like, you graduated with a D average. I'm like, I don't even think you can graduate.

But 80% would be B minus.

It's a 2.98. And I looked it up, and we can google it.

2.98 is right there. That's like B. That is.02 away from a B minus average. So 2.98 is not a B minus. 3.0 is a B.

Let's Google this, because I think we already did Google it. And you had to read your words a little bit. So, anyways, that doesn't matter. I just didn't do homework. And I was kind of sad because in junior high, I got in really bad habits, and I wanted to try out for cheerleading in high school. And then I obviously didn't want it bad enough because I didn't have good grades and I couldn't. I got to high school, and I was like, oh, damn, that would have been fun. And nothing ever happened. And I was always like, I'd blame my parents, be like, why didn't you make me do my homework? And my mom would be like, you.

Would not do your homework because you were a psycho.

I wasn't a psycho. I just didn't care. I didn't see the point of it. I was like, what is it? Do you pay me to do my homework? You give me a letter? That's cool.

So here's the deal. Like this exactly we're facing with Bailey right now.

I know, but she's a lot of.

She's doing exactly what you did. No, I went to school, and I got solid P's.

I know, but what I'm saying is, Bailey, our oldest daughter, is very vocal. Like Garrett. She's very, like, high, low energy. But then she's so stubborn, like me, and she's, like, kind of a conniver. And, like, you're just like, ugh. And so it's like you have, like, these weird combination of both Garrett and I, and I'm like, I don't know. What to do. I'm at a loss. And then there's moments where I'm, like, kind of proud that you got out of that. Like, as a parent, I'm like, can I be. Like, when she finagles stuff, I'm like, oh, good job. But I. And then I'm like, no, Bailey, you have to get. You have to get good grades. And then. So, yeah, it's been. She's not been getting great grades. And I'm, like, trying to tell her the one thing that I. The only thing. This is my only regret that I can see now because, like, really, I can blame my parents all day long. Really, I don't really care that I didn't become a cheerleader. Like, the only regret that I have.

Here I am, 36 years old, I've got my third baby in my belly coming out in a few months, and what I finally come to terms with is I don't want to be a cheerleader. I just.

Like, the skirt and the pom pom was cute. I don't know. But I don't regret that. What I do regret is now in life as an adult, I felt like I didn't learn to learn. And still to this day, like, coworkers that I work with, they're like, oh, yeah, you don't read, so we'll send it to you in some kind of video format. And I'm like. And I've always, like, chalked that up as, like, yeah, I'm just visual. But the truth is, like, I didn't force myself to, like, learn very well. I didn't force. I'd always find a way around, like, doing the work and around, like, actually reading it. And I felt, like, kind of smart that I pulled it off, but I got away. I, like, didn't learn to learn. And so that's, like, really, my only regret is because now it. Like, when I go to tackle a project or something as an adult, I'm like, oh, my God. That's a lot of information. What's next? You know? So that's where I'm like, I really. I just had bad habits and patterns, and I'm like, would I have been better if I actually went to school? Like, was in sports, whatever was required to actually do the work and learn to learn better. Like, I legitimately feel like you are way smarter than me. Like, book smart. Like, I feel like I'm very intuitive, and I'm very. Like, I have. I don't know. Like, I feel like I have, like, a natural knowing of things. Whatever you could say. But you are 100% more book smarter than me. Like, you do. And you love reading. And I. You can like, quote stuff, like, just. And I'm like, oh, man. Like, that's like, one thing I've always even, like, envied about you. I'm like, he's kind of smart. Like, I know you didn't, like, get.

Like, straight away from my brain.

No, you're a smart man.

Thank you.

You just are. And I'm like. And I know. I just feel like you, like, love to learn and you love to read and I'll sit and see you, like, highlight. And I'm like, I don't. I don't ever desire to, like, sit there and study like that. Like, I'll listen to a shit ton of podcasts. And I'm very. Like, I said, I watch a ton of, like, videos and like, how tos and I'm.

Which was new for you in the past, like, four years? No, I've always listened. Yeah, but you weren't listening to podcasts and audiobooks, and I don't think they were last four years, you know, you know, who set you free.

But that's what I'm saying. Like, as an adult and as I've tried to, like, figure out life and further my business, I'm like, oh, shit. I think I need to be smarter. I think I need to learn some things along the way, you know? And so doing a podcast makes me feel like I've legit, like, become a better communicator, better speaker and whatnot. And so I just wish. I don't know. But back to, like, the topic of, like, school, Like, I don't know if school. Other than that, like, just learning to learn to learn better. Like, the information you receive in school, like, is it necessary? Do I think that you could learn all these skills in a shorter, condensed time? Probably. Do I feel like it's unfair that, like, some kids genuinely have a harder time. Like, kids just learn differently. Do you know what I mean?

Yep.

So I understand that.

Well, imagine. Imagine though, if you had been raised with YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Google, Amazon, Postmates.

But I think you knew both. I think you both.

Yeah, but if you had been raised. If you'd been raised with all that, you would have learned. Like, I swear, our kids know, kids are. Our children are smarter than we were. Like, at their age. They're way fucking smarter than we are. I wasn't reading the encyclopedia.

Yeah, but there's. I don't know if they're smart And.

I wasn't watching smart videos.

I would say they're more aware. There's, like, an abundance of information that.

They'Re more aware, which makes them smarter. Like, they have more data. They have more data in their brains. They have more point of reference. I'm not saying it doesn't come with its problems. I just say that, like, our kids have access to shit that we didn't have access to at all. And inside of that, they know stuff and learn stuff. Like, if they want to know. How many times you see Ruby Siri, things like, she's. From the time she's like five years old, I. Four years old. I remember her clicking and talking to Siri and finding things. You know, take it back in the day, if you wanted to know, like, you know, the date of Abraham Lincoln's birthday, you had to know that shit from an encyclopedia. Now they just can, like, literally ask Siri. I remember sitting there, like, four years ago.

Here's what I'm gonna ask is, like, we watched this whole video on schooling. Like, is it necessary? Is it not?

My daughter sent us a video from.

Yeah, that was compelling video.

It's a fucking pretty damn compelling video. I was like, maybe I'm not gonna. I'm not going to school tomorrow. I think. I know.

I was like this. I'm sold. What's your program? Like? This guy was good. Like, on camera.

He was a college kid.

He was a fucking smart kid.

Like, he's definitely got. He's a lyrist, so he's definitely a hip hop guy. He was very, very good, though.

Very charismatic, very smart. Like, I was sold at the end. I was like.

So Bailey sent us this text to this video, and it says, before you go to school, watch this. What is school for? And then the question from Bailey is, it's Bailey, watch this and tell me why I have to go to school. So the problem is I watch. But that's the shit I'm talking about. Like, we didn't. Like, if you didn't want to go to school, it's not like you could look up on YouTube and there's someone, like, super profoundly done video with, like, an entire high school with teachers supporting it. The traditional school sucks. Like, I didn't have a choice. You're like, I don't want to go to school. Smack in the face. Shut up and get in the bus.

In this video, he talks about, like, you know, they don't teach it. What did he say? The number one thing is, like, you have to learn how to self like.

He'S like, self care and dealing with these have the two greatest successful principles studied by Harvard Business School. Of all successful individuals outside of college, outside of school was they had two things with them. One was they had self control. And the other one was they had, they had self love or self care.

Self care and self care.

And they had emotional, emotional stability.

And they're saying like, kids are not taught like these things in school. But don't life lessons teach you those things? Do they?

Because we have a lot of pretty ridiculous people.

Hold on before you play it, because.

Listen, we're gonna play a little bit.

Feel free to call me slow. But I spent 16 years going to school and I still don't know when I finished. I didn't know how to do my own taxes, purchase a home or apply for a loan. I didn't know a thing about investments, building credit or getting a job. I graduated at the top of my class and what did I have? This fancy diploma to sit at home with my mom. But luckily they did teach me some important skills like factoring trinomials and how mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. I'm so happy I remember the Pythagorean theorem. Cause it helped me a lot. Okay, I'm lost, let me stop.

Because all this stuff, so like it goes on and on. This is like an eight minute video and it's actually very, very good. It's actually very well done. Shot in high school. It's very, very good.

Very well done. His argument is like, the school systems, how they're taught, doesn't work. And that's to say that education isn't important and learning isn't important. It's just saying that like schools doesn't really work. Like it's a system that doesn't really work.

I love that he goes down the list, Ikea didn't go to school.

He picks like the Apple dropout. Yeah, he picks like super simple people.

WhatsApp dropout, Facebook dropout. He's just like going down the. She's like, yeah, pretty much every tool you use right now is built by a dropout from school. And listen, I.

But here's the thing. When my 12 year old daughter sends us, there's a piece of me that's like, you're just being lazy.

And then a part of you thinks, What?

Nothing. At 12 years old, I'm like, you're just being lazy. Like, she stayed home sick two days in a row.

And then it's, today was a fake day, yesterday was A fake day.

And then I was just like, bailey, you're just like. It's just being lazy. Like, you can't.

How do you know that? Are you taking a hard stand? Are you taking a hard stand on this?

Here's what's so funny. I gotta share this.

She would let. She would let us let her drop out right now.

So Bailey has braces, and she would not wear. This is how stubborn my daughter is. So she has these elastics where you wear elastics to move your jaw forward. And they gave them to her, like, six months ago. I'm like, bailey, you need to wear your elastics. It moves your jaw forward. So you wouldn't wear them. Wouldn't wear. Like.

I think it was a year ago.

It seriously was like. I'm like, bailey, you've been wearing your braces for an extra year because you won't just put your elastics in. Oh, they hurt my teeth, Mom. So does braces. Yeah, I'm not going to do it. Like, just flat out was like, I'm not going to do it. So I came to her and I said, all right, well, you're not going to do it. And then they were like, we can put this huge contraption in her mouth. And I'm like, thinking, like, that's aggressive. That's going to scare the shit out of her. She's going to put the elastics in still. She's, like, knocking it. She doesn't care. So anyways, I came. I, like, basically was like, listen, you're not wearing your elastics. So here's your choices. We take off your braces or we put the contraption in. She's all, oh, well, let's just take off my braces. And I'm like, okay, well, let me tell you, find out the consequences if you don't move your jaw forward. So I call the orthodontist, and he gives us, like, a whole spiel, and he says, like, oh, well, you know, aesthetically, it looks nicer, and it could affect your bite later. And, like. And then she's like, prodding me for questions. She's like, well, what happens if my bite's off? And so then I'm like, well, what happens if her bites off? He's like, well, nothing. Some people live an entire life, and they're just fine. I'm like, well, nothing people live their entire life. And so in the end, like. Like, as an orthodontist, we pay him to perfect everything. And I said, bailey, they pay to perfect your jaw. They pay you to perfect like, that's his job. We've already paid him to do it. Of course he's gonna be in favor of that. So I, like, just let her decide. I was like, oh, I'll let her decide if she likes how she looks. And she was like, do you like how I look? I'm like, I always like how you look. I'm like, I could care less if you got braces or didn't have braces. I'm like, I think you're cute no matter what. And so I let her decide. And I think the orthodontist was like, what? And I was like, yeah, she wants to take him off. He's like, no, no, no. But she's 12. I was like, yeah, no, I'm cool with it. We had a conversation.

So if this is a slippery slope, if she can do that, then maybe she's a dropout at 13.

But I was like, the logic behind this is very compelling.

Do you know when she was sharing something with me this morning? You know what I was thinking? I was like, I will let you drop out if you surf with me every day.

No, she won't do that.

I know.

And that's fine. She'll do it for like, a day.

Yeah, I know. She'd be committed for literally one minute. And then the water be too cold. This sucks.

A minute. All I know is, like, I'm kind.

Of too early to throw in the shit. Well, here's the thing. I think back to school, the only reason I went to school was social.

I thought about homeschooling her. That's the thing is I thought about homeschooling.

Are you going to teach her?

No, I would hire somebody to come and homeschool her.

They don't do that.

They.

Do you have a teacher come to your house and teach it?

Yes. And then, like, for homeschool is not. Like, you're not teaching them like, nine to five. You come maybe for like, it's like.

Two hours, and then you give them.

Like, you're like, hey, here's your work that needs to be done, and then they do it. And I thought about that for her, but she's such a social little butterfly. Like, she feeds off friends. And, like, I know she. Like, there's moments in junior high, like, it's super dramatic, but I know she. Like, I moved her to a bigger school because I felt like I was holding her back at her other school because she does. She just. She's very social.

And I go to a bigger school now, only public school.

I Know, But I think it's. She's. I feel like I'm always caving with her. I'm like, okay, sure. Okay, let's. Oh, you don't like these friends? Sure.

But she thinks that, like, listen, let's come back to the education thing because, like, I think about. I think about high school and I think about middle school. I don't remember shit from elementary school. Like, nothing. I don't remember anything from middle school, really. I don't remember one, actually. I remember we did this egg thing. We threw it off the roof of the building. I remember I was a scientist project. So whose egg didn't break when you built the carton, like, canister we threw off the school?

I remember I was a little shit face in junior high.

Of course you were. Everyone's a shit face in junior high.

It's a rough time.

And we've got three rough times ahead of us. And you're about to birth our final rough time.

No.

So I'm convinced that this is a conversation we're gonna continue to have to have with her because it's a weird thing for me because I look at even traditional school and I look at the stuff they study, and I'm like, yeah, you might be better off to study Facebook ads right now.

I don't like that.

You might be better off to study direct response marketing. You might be better off to study persuasion and influence. My mind literally goes there because at the end of the day, if you look at your family and my family, the people with the shittiest education have make the most money.

I don't think my dad actually graduated high school.

He did not.

I don't think he did.

Your mom didn't graduate from college? No, your mom did graduate from high school. I don't think your dad graduated from high school.

I don't think he did. My dad.

My parents both have degrees.

Yeah. No, Both my parents are entrepreneurs. My dad builds custom homes. My mom does. She owned a bridal salon, and then she was an entrepreneur, and now she sells real estate. But I've always felt like I grew up in abundance, and my parents were pretty successful at what they do. And they. I'm. I don't. I don't know. I know they didn't go to college. That's for sure.

Best college. My son's life is working for us. Like, he's. He's Learned more in 12 to 18 months working for Wayne Boyer than he ever. He went to college for a year. I paid $25,000.

Here's the thing.

$25,000 for his first year of school. He didn't do shit.

Said they were like, if you want to go to college, great. Like, we can help you out for a little bit. And they said, or you can go to trade school as well. And I was like, okay. I tried college for a semester and I literally came to my mom and I was like, I'm wasting getting a D in ceramics.

And you dropped your ceramic on the way to school.

And I did. And I was like, I literally only went for the social aspect. Cause they were like, hey, do you want to move out and go to college? I was like, yeah, that's an option.

Yes.

And I did. And then I like, I came to my mom, I was like, I think I want to go to hair school. And she was like, okay, fine, that's great. So I ended up going to trade school. So that's what I'm saying. Like, I don't really care if our kids go to college, but I think graduating high school seems important. Like just having your.

But here's the thing. If you think about it for a second, like, what does graduating high school mean? Like, so I'm going to take all the employees. I have 27 full time employees in one company and then we have another. Oh, another 13 or 14 in another. And then a whole bunch of contractors who do work for our businesses. Okay. In not one of those interviews, not one interview we have ever done.

But you're an entrepreneur.

But that's what I'm saying though. In not one interview have I ever done. Have I asked to see your middle school transcripts. Not one time have we asked to see your college or high school degree. There's only one thing we care about. Can you do some shit?

Okay, I like, that's it.

Like, I'm like, can you do some shit? That's all.

Where do you draw the line of it just being flat out lazy.

This is another question. Like, this is another conversation.

Every kid could go both ways. You could have somebody who drops out and you're like, you work at Subway.

Down the street, you're a sandwich guy and you're Orange county surfer.

And then you have somebody who is. Who is the IKEA guy, You know what I mean? So it's not like it could go both ways. So it's.

So what if you're nurtured? Like, imagine this. Imagine.

Yeah. Is it not schooling? Is it down to literally like your DNA and then the direction that you take that and decide if you don't.

Graduate from High school. It's not like you can't do life. Like, I'm sitting thinking about this right now. You can get a driver's license. Like, shitloads of people don't graduate from high school. Like, if you didn't graduate from high school. So imagine this. Imagine the next, like. Like, I'm not even saying we're doing this, but let's imagine next, like, six years. All we focus on was turning our daughter into a weaponized speaker marketer salesperson.

You gonna do that? You gonna homeschool her?

But, like, let's just say that those were the three things. And then she had traditional, which was reading, writing, and math, which she needs all three. She doesn't need polygon theory, but she needs to know how fucking basic accounting and math works.

Math, okay.

And sometimes English. Speaking of English. Oh, yeah, you speak of English. And, like, that was the focus. And that was only three hours every day. And then the rest of the day, we said, hey, sing, do art. Go play piano. Be on a volleyball team. You know, with local high schools, when you do homeschool like this, you can actually go to the high school and participate in sports.

Here's the thing that I want to say about, like, homework and grades. Like, there's this your thought. Like, if you get a D, you're like, oh, you're a dummy. And it's like, you're not necessarily a dummy. But then are you considered lazy because you just didn't do your homework? Do you know what I mean? Cause that's a struggle that I'll fail. Like, Bailey's teachers will say, like, I know she's smart.

She's like, she's failing my class because she doesn't do her homework.

She doesn't do her homework. But I'm like, but how does she test? But she doesn't test great because she's not doing her homework. So I'm like, so how is she smart? She has good potential.

No, I think even in summer classes, she actually does really well in her tests. She has, like, B's and A's. But then she, like, literally turns in nothing ever, right? Like, nothing. She turns in nothing.

But it depends on the class and the teacher.

She failed religion.

She's failing art.

Yeah, she's failing art. She has an effing art. But that's because she's late to class, like, every day, 15 minutes.

I don't know. Wow. I mean, this is, like, it's.

This is not throw our daughter under the bus game. This is, like, literally sitting in A situation.

I don't think it sounds like we're throwing under the bus. We're, like, at a crossroads where we're like, your logic is very compelling. And then the fact that you find this video and you send it to us. Cause we're, like, arguing tonight about her how school's dumb. And we're like, just please get your grades up.

Well, that's a constant game. It's like, if you don't have Bs, you can't have your phone and your friends for a week.

Yeah.

Because her grades have been down.

I don't think she's dumb. To me. I'm like, you're being lazy.

And that's. I think the piece I want is I want her to learn how to work hard.

She's not in hardcore sports right now. She does track a couple days a week. And that's it. I'm like, you don't like. That's the thing is, my parents always said, like, if you don't have good grades, if you're not in sports, then you work. And I was like, we make money to work, right? And you're like, yes. I had my first job at 13. I worked from 13 to clear.

Now I had a paper out when I was 13 also.

Yeah. So, like, my, like, 4:30am I feel like if you're not heavily involved in sports, like, there's no. Like, if you're not getting good grades, you're not working, and you're not involved in sports, then you're just being lazy. Like, I'm sorry. Like, that's. That's kind of where I draw the line. Like, if she was heavily passionate about something, then I could be like, okay, but she's not doing a whole lot. And that's where I'm like, I never said. Cause kids say this. Do you think I'm dumb? I'm like, I do not think you're dumb. I think you're brilliant. I just want you to do the work. So how do you instill the work ethic in your children? And schoolwork is part of doing work in life, Learning to learn.

I'll tell you what my parents did. So we used to have this giant lawn. It was about an acre and a half of just grass. And my dad had a push mower, and there was no bag. There was just a push mower so the grass would come out the backside. And my dad took stakes, and he divided this lawn up by three. There was me, my sister, and my brother. My sister was one under me. My brother was two years, three years younger than me. My sister was one year younger than me. And my dad divided up the lawn. Of course, I had a little bit bigger one because I was the older one.

You had the high grass, didn't you?

Yeah, well, we only got. But here's how it went down. You had to mow your patch of grass every week. If you didn't mow your patch of grass, you couldn't go out for the weekend. So you couldn't go out to friends, couldn't meet at McDonald's parking lot, sit there and do nothing but talk to each other like you couldn't go out. So I learned pushing this mower. And then I learned hard lessons, which is. Some weeks I didn't mow it. My dad's like, well, you can't go out. And I'm like, eh, okay, I don't wanna mow it. The next week the grass would be twice as long. And eventually the grass got to a time that it was like three or four times as long and. And I couldn't go forward without the mower dying. And it took me literally two days to mow the entire section of my lawn. And the funnier part was my sister mowed her lawn and my brother mowed his lawn. And so mine was three times longer, four times longer, and all their grass was cut. So my parents kind of put me into school of hard docs with this stuff and required it. And the only reason my parents required me to get grades and the leverage they had was because of sports, because they said, if you get lower than a B minus, you are no longer able to participate in sports. And sports was my life. So I just studied. Only to get B minuses, but I would literally study. But what I did learn is I learned how to study shit. I learned how to learn shit, but I didn't learn how to retain shit because I didn't care about anything.

Yeah, you just crammed it in.

I just literally cram it in, give it on the test and bulimically vomit it out on the floor and try to do everything I could to forget everything I had just learned. But it did help me because, like, my skills in studying shit and learning in frameworks, people say, how do you pull this off? I was like, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I have a college degree and I have a high school degree.

There's a skill in that, memorization. Like, there's a skill being able to do that.

And it's like, take the test under pressure yeah.

And, like, there's little bits and pieces that you retain. You know what movie I always think of as Limitless with Matthew McConaughey.

No. What is her name?

I don't know. Hot guy.

Hot guy.

Oh, he was just, like, up for a Grammy.

Oh. Oh, the guy was just up for the. I don't know, the movie with. What's her name? Who wears meat dresses?

Lady Gaga.

Lady Gaga. And damn. Anyways, not Heath Ledger. He's dead.

No. Okay. So anyways, Limitless, when it's like all of a sudden he takes a pill and he, like, all of a sudden has all these superpowers, and all of a sudden he's like. He can remember Bradley Cooper.

Bradley Cooper. Bradley Cooper. There you go.

And he can, like, remember it, like, the drop of the hat, like, moments in these books and these things. And he can retain. And I really feel like, even though you're not going to remember the algorithms of La La La or whatever it is, like, I didn't get that far in school, so I didn't get to.

Oh, I remember that but a shit about it.

I don't even remember that word. So you got further than me.

You're welcome.

But what I'm saying is, like, you take bits and pieces and you're like, wow, I did retain a little bit of that information. So regardless, if you can say, kids just cram. Kids just cram. You learned how to learn. You learned how to memorize, and you still can recall certain things and piece, like, things together.

I did learn how to learn. Like, that was the one thing, like, taking tests under pressure. So, you know what I'm getting to is, I guess we're not gonna let her drop out of school yet. Okay, you're convincing with your conversation. We'll let her stay in school.

So bad about taking off the braces and signing away and being like, she's fine.

But I do. But I do say there could be a new way to this, okay. Because there is a huge issue right now in just like, in the college education side of things. High school education does not guarantee you a job at all. And a college degree is guaranteeing zero. Shit, nothing anymore.

I like that you shared the mowing the lawn story, because I think about where Bailey is right now, and she's, like, so far behind that it requires so much work to get even caught up.

And that's why they're great.

And that's why she's like.

She's kind of quit.

And, like, if you could, like, give kids a free pass where you're like hey listen, it's, we're going to give you another go on this. Like we're going to just try.

She's going to go, she's going to go school bankrupt.

Yeah, you're school bankrupt. You bankruptcy for you now have all A's. All you have to do is maintain these A's. You know what I mean? Like here's a, here's a golden ticket. You realize that's not this way you're.

Coming up with right now for her.

No, because are you going to give.

Her a bankruptcy box?

Because then people would know. Kids would know like every semester they just could call bankrupt and then.

No, like we're, we're heading into the final months of school for sixth grade.

I know I worry about just creating good habits, patterns and routines but she.

Does not have good habits patterns.

That's what I said. It's even coming down to waking up in the morning. He was like, hey, you need to sleep in and do this. And I'm like, I'm sorry but I get up every day at 7 o' clock and I'm way like 6:37. And you get up at 4:30 because you're a little bit.

I am absolutely on fire.

But what I'm saying is like pure.

Fire ladies and gentlemen, but early.

You get a lot more done in your day. When I get up at 7 versus getting up at 8 or 8:30 my day is set. Get more done and I feel more positive about your day.

Imagine what you could do at 4:30.

And I go to bed a little bit earlier is what I'm saying. And so I don't disagree with self care but just because you get up earlier doesn't mean like kids need to sleep in. If you need a certain amount of time to sleep then you go to bed earlier. That is self care to me. So.

No, self care is getting your daughter up to go for a walk for an hour.

Well all I'm saying, it's just like.

I need to teach her these kind of stuff.

Waking up is lazy. It doesn't. You should know to go to bed earlier so you can wake up earlier. Not getting your homework done, not getting good grades when you're not involved with a whole lot of other things to me is just lazy. It doesn't mean dumb, it means lazy. So for me I'm like, you can be gifted and as smart and has so much potential but if you don't learn to work, you're fucked.

Do you know that I took 7am classes in college, 7am I would wake up at 4:30 in the morning when I was in college and my friends would be coming home from drunken fests and late night shenanigans with the ladies and I would be getting up to work out and then go to college class. My morning routines started when I was like 12, 13 years old with my paper routes.

Now I am not a morning routine. The fact that I get a morning person, the fact that I get up at 6:30, 8 or 7, I'm like 6 super proud of myself.

You've done, that's taken you, that's taken you 17 years to pull that off.

Literally. Like I used to like be a.

Complete crazy person before 9am Like I.

Used to like literally when we first married. I remember I'd go work out at like 10:30 or 11.

And you thought you'd woken up early.

Yeah, and, but I know, but that's.

Why you stayed up till like midnight.

I always stayed up till midnight. And you'd be like, are you coming to bed? And I was like, well I'm not even tired. So it's like, it's not that I wasn't sleeping about. You just have to like shift your schedule a little bit.

Yeah, it was rough. I mean I would go to bed and then you would stay up and then I would wake up and you'd be in bed like we were strangers in the night for like four years.

You know what, it's so funny with both of my kids, like I would get them on sleep routines. Super like young. I just really like sleeping. And I remember like when they were babies, I'd get them to sleep until like 9, 9:30. And you'd be like, how are you doing that? And I was like, I don't know. They just sleep as long as I.

Do sleep as long as they do.

And they would like kind of self soothe. Like I'd go in, in the morning and I'd put toys in there and they'd just be playing in their cribs and I was like, oh cute. And I was like, I kind of feel bad. I'd be like, oh, should I have gotten up earlier? But they were so, they were so cute and happy and I think they would wake themselves up and like play with toys and I'm a big fan of self soothing.

So like this whole topic on education then that we, that, that, that was, that was played up. We're gonna go play another little tiny clip of this video for you.

I don't really, I don't really know the answers. This is just like a frustrating conversation that came up with us on date night and it's, we're gonna have it.

We'Re gonna hear a little bit more about it.

I feel like you and I are like both sides of the spectrum. Like, we're like, we value learning, we value hard work, but do we value the traditional ways of school? And it's like, do you take a side on one or the other? Is there a hard line?

I think the hard part is we both live in integrity with ourselves at a certain level. And so we both can see the legitimacy of the complete fallacy of education the way it's done. Meaning we both see it and go, ah, yeah, school's kind of bullshit, but it's learning. I am a kid.

You can tell kids that, especially if you're a kid.

No, but I think what he's saying in the video though is that school is bullshit. Education is not. You must be educated.

But getting, becoming but careful how you like is very persuasive. And selling that to a 12 year old, you have to be careful because they could again have lazy behaviors like, well, you know, like, school's not for me. I'm educating myself. I'm playing Minecraft. I'm on YouTube. That's educating myself. That's not fucking educating yourself. That doesn't teach you to study at.

A certain level because.

No, I'm sorry. If you watch YouTube all day, you are not required to retain information and do a test.

Here's the thing, that's crazy. If you, if you watch six hours of YouTube videos on specific topics through the day, let's just say you were searching up, you know how to crochet within like a day, you'd know how to fucking crochet. You'd be really good if you want to. Pretty much everything's on YouTube now. You can look up and learn Adobe Illustrator. You can learn, you know, how to edit movies, videos you could learn how to shoot.

I'm very self taught. I'm aware.

You could learn Natural Bead of Rose with video.

I am very self taught and I'm very aware of that.

Here it is, Mom.

Remember when you would ask me, what did you learn in school today? And I would say nothing much. I wasn't being modest. The truth about it, mom, is I had already forgotten. And it's not just me. Millions of students sing the same song. How many of you guys avoid eye contact with the teacher to try not to get called upon? Afraid to raise your hand for fear of being wrong? Which proves that school isn't an environment for learning or building up the intellect. It's just a game you play for grades and how many A's you can collect. But I guess, what do you expect when the most commonly asked question in class is, is this gonna be on the test? Is this gonna be on the test? See, if school put learning instead of testing and memorizing as the top standard, then the letter F would not stand for failure. It would stand for find another answer. And if school was really interested in our personal and academic success, students would wake up later, have more freedom and homework a lot less. And that's not my opinion. This conclusion has been scientifically tested and proven. And any teacher that doesn't believe me, feel free to check my works cited page to inspect. Oh, and I did it in MLA format because I know that's all you will accept.

See, students will get more benefit from.

An extra hour of sleep than putting them through the torture of an extra essay, reading 150 pages, doing problems 1 through 60 on a worksheet, and having three projects due by the end of the week. Not only is it pointless pain, but it's also dim with it because we get so much work, but they don't teach the time management skills to deal with it. See, in school. School, we are controlled by bells. We have to learn in rooms with the feng shui of a prison cell. We have to ask permission to relieve bodily functions, but not before the teacher asks a million questions like, why didn't you go before class? I'm sorry, my bladder is kind of on its own schedule and it's not always timely. See, teachers always say, use your time wisely. But that never made sense to me because these six cruel I was of our lives we call school might literally be the worst use of time management ever in history.

So here's the crazy thing though. So our daughter has probably watched that video five times. Here's a society her kids are being raised in, though, so she will watch this video. We think there's some logic in it, which means As a 12 year old, your entire worldview of life has just been reframed by a YouTube video. And now this is why I understand why she has such a passionate stand for schooling being bullshit and she wants out.

Here's what I'm convinced of in life, because I didn't know, like, what I was gonna do as an adult. I literally was like, I'll get married, get taken care of, have kids, live happily ever after. That's how it's Just gonna work out for me. Even though I've always, like, kind of been a hard worker, I just kind of. I think I didn't, like, expect much for myself. Do you know what I mean? I was just like, oh, whatever. I get married, the guy takes care of the girl. That's how it is. And it wasn't until, like, later in life where, like, with work, I started to enjoy hair. When I kind of started, felt like I started, I was kind of good at it. Do you know what I mean? And then the more as I got good at it, I was like, damn, I'm pretty good. And I started, like, teaching people. And then at that point, I considered myself, like, an expert in my craft. And after that, that's when I launched my brand and everything. And then that's when the passion came. The passion came was not only did I. Like, at first, I was nervous and scared, and I wasn't that great. But I was like, well, I gotta do something with my life. You know what I mean? So I went into hair school because I was like, well, I dropped out of my semester of college with D's and ceramics. So I guess I'll do a trade. Cause I literally went into hair school. Cause I was like, I guess I'll learn a trade. Cause, like, I'll make more than minimum wage and I can set my own schedule. That's cool. Like, I had such low standards. I was just like, whatever. Like that. That's fine. And then again, like I said, I started to, like, the more I did it, the more reps I did. I was like, I got kind of good. And then I became an expert. And then in the educating phase, I was like, I got really passionate about it because, like, not only did I realize I was pretty, pretty good at it, but I could teach other people and they could apply it, and I love seeing the success they would have. And so then I became, like, passionate about something that I first started out being like, I guess I'll do it. I have nothing else to do. You know what I mean? And so it takes. Like, people are like, you hear things all the time. Like, Gary V's big on, like, find your passion. But I didn't really know what my passion was. I didn't know how I, like, defaulted on something that became my passion, Right? And I have no doubts that if you find passion in whatever you do, you will become driven and successful at it. Like you will, because you need that passion and that desire to fuel and push you. Like, amongst so many obstacles that hit you. Along the way, you will learn to become a bigger and better person, fueled by passion. And so that's where it's like, yeah, can you educate people like kids? Can you help them to find their passion? But, like, if I look back, I was scared shitless of doing hair. I fucked up so many people's heads. I mean, I, like, remember your first haircut. I mean, it was. I wanted to quit. I was like, I'm just. I'm not really cut out for this. This is. That's for sure. Like, I turned this old lady's hair, Ronald McDonald, red. I was like, oh. But I just kept. Because I was like, I'm making pretty good money, you know, and it just took reps. So, like, how do you instill the passion in kids where, like, I didn't really even know I had this passion in me?

I think as a parent, the only thing I'm getting right now is that our children expose us. And they expose our fears, our doubts, our worries, our inadequacies. At the same time, they expose and bring to light our strengths, our abilities, our talents. And at the end of the day, I have huge faith in the idea and knowledge, in the idea, in my world, at least, that we tend to become. We tend to become what we saw modeled in our parents, but also we tend to become whatever our path is. I think as a parent, we have this story that we have so much control over our children. And at the end of the day, there is no rhyme or reason to why kids become the way they do. You can call it nature, you can call it nurture, but at the end of the day, there's some point which a person makes a decision. You know, my son's on a path right now that a few years back, people never would have guessed he would be on this path. He never would have committed it. He created it himself. He lives in his own apartment, drives a brand new car, makes great money, works for one of my companies, did not get a job because of me. Got a job because he earned it.

You know what? He was in college, and you were like, you kind of. You opened up a door and said, if you don't want to be in college. And so as parents, you always feel like, am I leading them in the right direction? And like, as a parent, you're like, I just paid for a whole year of college. And now, I can't believe I'm saying this, but, like, if you want to quit, here's another door.

Well, I had told him, listen, I want you to go to school. This is 25,000 for your first year of school. I was like, I'm not gonna pay for your second year of school. I'm gonna pay for your first year of school. And the whole goal is not for grades. I don't give a shit what grades you get. I said, what I want you to figure out is, who are you and what do you want? And go have a good time and socialize, which he did.

Would Parker's path have changed had you not opened that door?

For sure. I don't think there's no way he'd be here if I hadn't sent him to college.

Well, and that's what I'm saying. Would he have found his path that he's supposed to? And who's to say this was the correct. Do you know what I mean? It's a different path, and we hope that it's the correct path. But ultimately, like, does the universe have a way of manifesting a path in which we should take. Are we supposed to assist and open those doors as parents along the way?

I think so. I think as part of it, our job is to open the doors and give them a chance to explore different rooms. Kind of like playing an adult.

When you're an adult and you're a 21 year old, or 20, your son just turned 20, when do you stop opening those doors? And when did they choose to be adults and find those doors and open them for themselves?

Does that make sense? And I think that, like, I mean, there's plenty of doors that are gonna. But I think also that as a parent, you open the door and then you watch what your child does. Like, my son is. He works harder than. He works as. Harder. Harder than anyone on my entire team. Like, he works his ass off, and he's growing. He's 20. He's doing his thing, but he's earned his way because of how he's shown up. I think that's probably the piece. If Bailey was waking up in the morning and she was getting up and she was on point and she was making her bed, and she was getting nothing making her bed matters.

Is Parker side by side. How do you know. How do you know that he's working this hard?

Because he reports to all the people who I pay who manage him, and.

They say he's working his ass off.

He has been already put in management position. He's been given other people to be responsible for. He leads and manages people that are literally double his age. Yeah, he does great shit. Great shit. And I watch him at our events and the way he runs our teams. Yeah, he does a great job. And it's not because he's my son. He does a great job because of who he is. And in all reality, that was why I wanted him to be able to feel like he had created it for himself. Yeah. Did I open the door? Sure.

But I.

Every. Every 19. Is the baby Isla just kicking jab?

She was like, bam. Like, say that.

I was like, mom, talk about me.

Well, I think. And then you'll see families. You'll see families who, like, both kids are, like, raised in the same family and they go, like, opposite directions. And you're like, how did that even happen? Do you know?

It's happened in all our families.

Right. And so that's why I'm saying, like, is it personality, path? Is it circumstances? Is it timing? Is it like, we're put on this earth and we're, like, literally ordained to do, like, we have a certain path and, like, it's up to us. So, like, does everybody have the equal opportunity is what I'm asking? Do you know what I mean? And we choose to discover our gifts and talents. Or some people are like, hey, this lifetime, you're gonna work at the sandwich shop, but don't worry, you're gonna learn a lot. Next lifetime, you're really gonna be passionate about, and you're gonna own a chain of sandwich shops. I mean, I don't know.

Could be.

I think that you. At some level, everybody's given, like, this opportunity and they have to find it in themselves. And that's, like, kind of the point of life.

I agree. Well, it appears that we're knocking on that door with Bailey and we share some videos. The show's gone long. We loved having the conversation with you this week. And our resolution with this entire thing is we have no fucking idea.

Don't worry.

So we're going to bring it back up, and we're going to keep fighting this game with my daughter.

And we brought up a ton of valid points today. And I'm sure a lot of you can. Like, with kids and teenagers, you have perspective and opinions on both sides.

So we're going to put out an interesting one here for our show that's coming up the week after this one. I'm going to test something right now. If you would like to make a comment or on the topic that we are going to be having next week. You ready? You ready for this topic?

Sure.

Okay. The topic we're gonna be having next week is babies. And it's gonna be on kids, but it's gonna be different. It's gonna be on this. Like when. When do you know it's time to have a baby? When do you know it's time to stop having more babies?

You know what? I actually wanna test this.

And then here's what I want though. If you'd like to be part of that conversation of babies and having babies, you have a question and. Or you'd like to be part of the conversation with us by sending in an audio so we see your thoughts on this. Feel free to email those to garretteupwarrior.com that's Garrett G A R R E T T wakeupwarrior.com and we will throw you in the mix. I'm going to play your audios right here. We'll play your questions on parenting and stuff we can talk about and. Or comments that you have on the idea of babies and getting pregnant.

Like an interactive live podcast.

We'll play your audios.

The other thing I want to test this week and actually, and I know we're closing the show, but a client of mine who's a principal of a junior high was like, she was listening to one of our shows two weeks ago and she said, hey, I was listening to your Date youe Wife podcast and you guys were talking about the stack. Like, what is this? And she goes, can junior high kids use the stack now? If you don't know what a stack is, go back a couple episodes and listen. Because we're coming to a close on our show. But it's like a process that kind of Garrett came up with. And I was thinking like, you know what? We have happy stack, we have gratitude stack, we have angry stack, we have mega stack. We have all these things to kind of help cope and self soothe really. And I was like, and we don't have that for kids. And so one thing that I would like to test with our daughter is stacking.

I like that.

Would we have to tweak some of the questions based on.

I don't think we'd have to tweak many of the questions.

So I would like to try that with her because I feel like she's so hot and cold like you that I wonder like if a lot of times if she went and stacked. If like say for example today the argument I had with her today and I was like, bailey, come on. Like there was no getting through to her. Cause she's like, just wouldn't let me in. And I was like, if she stacks it Would that actually help her? So that's one thing that I want to test with her is like the. Not the mega stack, but just like, angry stack. No, the angry stack. The gratitude stack.

Happy stack.

Happy stack. Or wasn't there like a mini stack?

We haven't created a kid stack yet.

But that's what I'm saying. I want her to start stacking and then I would be. I think that it would be huge. Like, when my clients are telling me about this, she's like, oh, my God. She's like, I wish, like, my kids had something like this. She's like, because the number one thing that goes away in education is counseling. She's like, if we're short funds, like, we get rid of counseling. And she's like, and kids, like, she was talking about the suicide rate and all this. And she's like, kids need this. And I. She's like, and if I meet with one of my students, if I, like, had them, you know, hey, can you stack this? Like, take 15 minutes and stack it and then like, come in and she said, what else might be cool in the stack when you're talking about this? And I'm like, oh, but like, would you want it to. You want the kid to feel safe, like, sharing the stack? And she goes, you could have it be safe, but if there was like, words like suicide or like, just trigger words that then it's like, automatically shared, like, through the principal or whatever. Do you know what I mean? And I was like, I don't know. But anyways, I want to try doing stacking with Bailey and just see what it does.

I like it. I will take that on this week and we'll come back with a little report on it. They're going to send us some, some audios with your comments and or questions around the idea of pregnancy. Should you have some babies? Should you have some more babies? It's baby number four for me, baby number three for Danielle. And I've had zero babies come out of my body. So I've actually zero babies.

I was like, thinking, maybe one more. And now I'm like, I'm past. I'm like, at the six month mark, I have 15 weeks left. And Garrett's like, what do you think? Are we done? I'm like, we're done.

And the other question we're gonna add to this is, as a pregnant woman, when you're getting to the end of your pregnancy, are you rational enough to make decisions about your body for the future?

Oh, yeah, because we do.

Which is a Topic of question we had, which, you know, hysterectomies and things like this while they're in there. Yes. Mature and emotional, you know, should you be making decisions about permanently stopping the baby game or not?

I will tell you, like, girls come in, like, postpartum or after a baby or whatever, and I'm like, they want to cut their hair. And I'm like, no, they want to cut bangs. I'm like, absolutely not. I'll see you in six weeks. And they're like, no, I really. I want to. I looked at pictures. I'm like, I'm not gonna do it. So find yourself a new stylist, because I think that you shouldn't make. Yeah, we're.

All right. So we got some good topics around the pregnancy game next week. If you'd like to be part of that, record an audio, send it to garretekoboardia.com the flip side of this for men is we'd love your feelings and opinions on this also on the show. So if you do, we'd love to hear your thoughts on that side. I'm gonna be talking about the male side of pregnancy next week. Danielle's gonna talk about the female side. Oh, no. I've got more to talk about with this. What to expect when you're expecting. Penis additional. And I'm gonna bring some audios in next week from some of my guy friends who are currently in the pregnancy game with their wives and their thoughts on. This is gonna be a very interactive show. We're excited to have you. I've already stacked it. It's very exciting. That's why I'm still moving forward. We're done. You guys are amazing. Have a great week. We'll talk to you next week.