Karmic Loop | Date Your Wife | EP 105

Hello and welcome to the Date your wife podcast.

Date your wife podcast.

You know what? Ooh, did I show you? I don't know. Somebody was listening to my podcast and they. They wrote a random Yelp review. Did I share it with you? Yesterday?

You literally didn't even start. Finish the intro.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Danielle. I'm married to this guy. His name is Garrett. And together we created a podcast called date your wife.

And we created three babies.

And I have a three month old. And I am. I'm like, damn near back.

Damn near back.

They said 36 was advanced maternal age. And I have to say, actually, I looked at a picture of me when I had my first daughter at 24, and I was like, damn. I snapped back fast.

You were 24 years old when you had babies.

I know, but I still think I'm snapping back fairly fast. So I have a theory that. Because I work out a lot and I have a lot of. I have, like, some muscle in me.

I think the genetic. You have two things going on. You got genetics going on, number one, and number two, it's genetics.

I work out really hard and I eat good.

You didn't let me finish, number two. Okay. You have great genetics. And number one. And number two, your handbags are so fucking big that you're constantly working out when you walk anywhere. You got a baby in one arm, you got a handbag in another. It's, like, impossible to not have great fitness. I got handbagfitness. Com.

I have a funny story now.

Okay.

I have so many funny stories about your bag. It's kind of about a bag.

Was that about the guy that delivered the bag to your front door?

No. That was good, too.

That was nice.

That was good, too.

Okay, well, what's your bag story? Off you go.

Well, no, I was thinking, like, how I obviously work. I'm a working wife and mom, and I treat myself to nice handbags. Cause I'm like, I don't care. I don't feel guilty about it. I think that's part of the reason I work. I'm not even gonna lie. Not to buy handbags, but just because I like to be able to kind.

Of have your own freedom.

Yeah, Just freedom.

I actually don't know too many women who don't want that.

Exactly. So. But. And there's a lot of times, like, when I'm not working and if I almost, like, feel a little tinge of guilt, like, oh, my God, I can't buy this for myself. And I hear that that's pretty common in women. Make sure those are in the shot.

Just putting those warrior greens in the shot. Just make sure the warrior greens.

I was dying because I was working out with my personal trainer this morning, and she was saying. We were talking about how, like, why is, like, women. Even though I make my own money, I'm like, I get a package from Shopbop and I'm immediately running up the stairs. Though I bought it because I don't want you to be like, huh, another package? What's that?

You guys were talking about this during your workout. We were.

We were laughing really hard. And so then she was like, does.

She do the same thing?

No, every girl does the same thing. In fact, I own a salon. And it's so funny because women will be like, can you put it on this card? And this card and discard. I'm like, your husband thinks you're paying half this amount for your hair, doesn't he? And she's like, yeah.

So why do women hide the money? Why you hide the money?

It's out of guilt.

I still feel guilty about spending money.

We don't want you to say, like, another box, huh? Because we know we're, like, dumb. Damn women in their shoes were, like, off. Let me have my shoes and my swim in them. I want to swim in my shoes.

But listen, Amazon. Amazon's like modern cocaine. Between that and Instagram, it's like both nostrils are completely, like, being destroyed.

I. The funniest thing is. No, you gotta hear this. This is a bad idea. But she's like, oh, I knew this girl, she was going through a divorce, and she would go to, like, the grocery store, and she started buying gift cards, and her ex just thought that she was buying lot shit ton of groceries. She was literally buying Visa gift cards.

Oh, my God.

To just go, whatever. And I was like, you know what?

Who knows, though? Maybe the guy deserved it.

Yeah. I don't know.

Maybe she was just a crazy guy.

I just thought it was funny. I'm like, can you imagine? You're like, babe, did you spend $2,000 last month on groceries?

That's a lot of bagels.

I swear we didn't have that much food in the house. We did, babe. You ate it. So.

Yeah, but if you were divorced, that'd be weird because. What are you saying? You know? I mean, you're like, you don't want.

Your children to eat, you big asshole.

Exactly. Exactly. Oh, I tried the trifecta food orders. I went with that for about seven weeks, and then I had A couple of big mistakes, which was I microwaved fish at the office and I microwaved fish at the house, and both were a major fail. So I. I'd stopped ordering the trifecta. Food, which I don't have a problem with. I think the food was good, but somehow I.

Why can't you select it? Why can't you say what you want?

I don't want. Well, you can, but what I mean, the truth of what really happened was, is the one card that was on file, we canceled. And so I haven't put a new card in, so. Nothing new.

You're gonna be sad because I'm eating some so healthy that there's nothing but broccoli and cheese in the fridge.

And Lean Cuisines. And Lean Cuisines.

I don't eat those a lot, but when I'm desperate.

You're not eating them anymore. There's a whole fucking freezer.

I know. Because you know what? When I'm starving and there's no food, I'm like, you know what? I just need to. I'm hangry. I just need to eat or I'm gonna. I'm gonna hit up Jack in the Box real hard right now.

You will not go to Jack in the Box. Come on, you've been to Jack in the Box like twice in the last, like five years.

When I was pregnant, I ate my feelings a lot. But I'm not pregnant anymore, so it's fine.

Okay, listen, we got a topic for today. Topic for today. It's kind of a dual topic. One, we have a child who's been missing from our home for four days. Four days. This 12 year old child of ours has been missing. And the crazier part is we've had no communication. I'm not gonna lie, I'm feeling a little ping of like that kind of dad, like, hey, I need my daughter back.

You know what?

She's been gone to camp for school.

Yeah, it's fine.

But this is the first time she's been gone. We've had no cell phone communication. The school doesn't update us. It's like all the kids are gone with their friends and their teachers.

Good. And I miss her, but I'm kinda like I'm gonna allow myself to enjoy this a little bit. Like just a little bit.

It was weird last night at the house though, when she wasn't there.

Well, she is like, she brings a lot of energy. She's like a girl, Garrett.

Yep, she's a girl, Garrett. If I was a girl and I was 12 years old. I guess I'd be trying to wear a thong back bikini.

No, literally, like she wants to go to Starbucks twice a day. And I'm like, no, you can't go to Starbucks. Why?

But she does go to Starbucks twice.

A day because you went this morning. But why, why do you keep asking me if you don't like the answer I'm giving you? I just told you, you went to Starbucks this morning, you don't need it. And then I'm like, logically I'm like, if I wanted Starbucks twice a day, I would get it twice a day. So at some point I'm like, backfires. I'm like, that's a good question. And I did give you a lame answer, but here's a point. And then I end up saying, cause I'm your mom.

Yeah, well that's always a default answer. It will work every single time. Here's the thing that's crazy though. Last night I noticed that for the second night I get home, I've had a lot of events this week, so I've been home late. And I get home though and it's interesting because it's just Ruby and Isla and no Bailey and the house feels empty.

I know.

And the thought that I had today about this was this morning early, I'm sitting doing my stack work and which is our work for Warriors Way. If you're not familiar with this, you can check this out. Today@betheman.com we have a series up there called the Seven Pits for married businessmen with children. If you are one of those type of guys, go check it out. I think you get a lot of value from it. But anyway, so I'm doing some stacking and I'm thinking what it would be like for like what it's like to be a parent when you're like done. We've talked about getting the snip, the snippety snip, snip. And that means that the game inevitably now is in play of all kids are going to be gone from the house and at some point it's just.

You and I, what are we going to do?

Well, that's the thing that I was thinking about. If you, if you don't have a relationship with your wife, you don't have a relationship with your husband and all your energy is poured into your kids. I mean this has gotta be a pretty depressing day when your kids leave and there you are and for the past five to 10 years, 15 years, you poured all into your kids and you have depressing if you didn't have any relationship.

No, no. Once a mom, always a mom, though.

I know, but Jenna, let me finish the thought. If you didn't spend time together, if you didn't go on dates together, if you didn't go on trips together, if you didn't spend time investing in each other, I would imagine that if your sole focus had been your children.

Some people stay in marriages a long time, just until their kids are out of the house.

And then what?

And then they're like, today's the day. Let's sign those papers and get the fuck out. Like, they don't you mean divorce? Yeah.

That's what I'm talking about, though. Like, that's a depressing day. And that's why I think a lot, like, if you don't start dating now when the kids are young and you use your kids as an excuse now, then you're gonna use them excuse when they're in middle school and use an excuse when they're in high school. And then you're gonna be that couple that's been together 15, 20 years, and.

You'Re like, it goes by so fast.

What the fuck are we together for anymore? We should just, like, move on and do something. But the simple solution to this, we're saying, is go on dates.

And, like, things are droopy and it's.

Just saggy, saggy, saggy, saggy. All right, so that's just one thought.

What's our topic for you?

Our topic is, on top of this, is this idea of the karmic cul de sac.

Yes.

So the karmic cul de sac is this. I was waiting for this karmic repetition. Back around. It did loop. Oh, it looped with the karmic cul de sac.

Yes.

So there's a phrase and a term that we use inside of warrior. It's actually something I teach inside of what we call the drift and ship model, which is part of a new book I wrote called the Attack with a Stack. We've been using this system. You can learn about that@attackwithstack.com but anyways, inside of that system we've been.

What about the hamster wheel?

Okay. It's the same concept. Why don't you explain the hamster wheel in your terms? And then I'll marry that to Attack with a Stack and the terms of.

My mastermind and my hairstylist. And I'm like, listen, I get it. Because I always say, oh, I don't have time. I don't have time. I'M trying to teach them, like, to have a better life, to implement new marketing strategies, and they're doing the same damn thing. They're like, I don't have time. I don't have time. And I'm like, you're literally, like, on a hamster wheel. Like, you say you don't have time, and you're extremely tired, but you're not actually going anywhere. You're literally just looping and looping and looping. And I'm like, you can't afford not to have time. Like, you're standing still. You're literally standing still, but you're saying you don't have time, that this makes no sense.

But it feels like. I mean, the feeling is because I'm doing.

Yeah, but I think that people hide behind that. I think that people hide behind the fact they're like, I don't have time because it gives them an excuse to not actually, like, go out and try something new because they have this. This story that, like, oh, my God, everything's gonna fail and blow up, but I'm gonna crash and die and burn. So I'd rather just loop and take my mind off of actually doing anything with my life.

Well, you and I looped in our marriage for, like, 10 years, I think.

I think.

No, I think a decade we looped.

I think that every area in your life, you loop, and what happens is, like, there's certain areas in my life where I loop, and I'm like, okay, well, that sucked. I don't want to experience that. And I learned from it. And I move on.

And I forget, oh, key phrase. You did what?

You learn from it and move on. And. Anyways. But you have, like, multiple loops and multiple stories running throughout your life. And it's funny because, like, you start to recognize those, and then you're like, oh, my God. And some loops take way longer than others because maybe that's, like, the harder part of your life or whatever it is.

So this idea of looping is using. I use a frame and a model to describe the hamster wheel that she's talking about. And we call it the karmic cul de sac. So imagine going along. You're going along, going along, and then you get triggered by something in relationship with your spouse. And. And then you drift into the series of feelings of anger, blame, guilt, and shame, and you end up in what we call the pit. Now, the pit is this bottom place where you're upset, you're miserable, you wanna fix things. You're not sure how, but then this ridiculous thought comes up in your mind and you think, I wanna go back before the thing happened. I wanna go back to the way things were. I wanna go back before we had the kids. I wanna be like we were before these things happened.

It's fake progression, okay?

Fake progress.

Stop faking it.

That fake progression we call the false.

And I think that people almost self sabotage so that they can get back to just being norm. And then they feel like it's this false growth.

So you fall. Watch this. You drift down from the peak to the pit. Then you have a false lift. Or this fake. What did you call it? A fake growth. What did you say? It was a fake lift. A fake.

It was fake. Fake growth. I don't know.

I can't remember.

It sounded good.

I don't know. You said something. So there was a. We call it the false lift. Which is I lift back to the same peak that I was before. So I tried this for 10.

False progression.

That's like progression. That was a fancy way. So false progression. And that was our sense in marriage. So I would go through this. We would hit a trigger in a relationship about sex or about kids or about money or about something. But I would never fix it. We would never fix anything. We would just have this fight. The trigger would happen. I would get angry. I would blame Danielle. Then I would feel guilty for blaming Danielle. Then I would feel shameful about the fact that I yelled so much at Danielle. Then I would end up in the pit. And then in the pit I would think to myself, I just want to go back before I was an asshole.

Do that. You can't allow yourself to grow. And you're literally like false growing. You, you, you're like. You're looking for that high in the growth. So you self sabotage looking for that high in the growth and you don't actually move forward. And then you get to this point where you're on this loop for so many years or so many times. It gets so painful that you finally break that barrier of that false loop. Cause you' like I can't fuck. I just can't keep looping like this. Like this is. It's so painful now. And sometimes there's loops that are way more painful than other loops. And that's when you're just like, I can't live like this anymore.

So we identified a false lift loop.

But everybody does it in every area of their life. It could be with business, it could be with children, it could be in a relationship. It could be like everything. And we have this idea that, oh, life sucks and I have to be unhappy. And that's just how it is because we're in this false loop.

So the only way to change in this is to identify, number one, that you're in the loop, right? So if you find yourself repeating the same arguments over and over again, you argue about the same shit the same way, right? And there's. There's drifting times in between. Then you. It is very, very, very, very, very indicative of the fact that you are stuck in this karmic loop or the hamster wheel. So in marriage, how do you get out of it? Well, you have to recognize you're in the wheel. You're in the loop. The second thing you've got to do is you've got to collide, which means there has to be a collision. First collision's with yourself, accountability. Second collision is with your spouse.

I think, too. Like, in any loop, you have to literally, it's almost like admitting defeat. You're like, I have to take accountability that this sucks. And I have to stop dropping down to feel that lift in order to feel like I'm progressing. I have to take accountability that this sucks. This is where I'm at, and this is the new low, and I have to reach higher.

I'm stuck in a loop.

What are you stuck in?

We talked about it two mornings ago.

I know. Why do you. I'm just.

I'm stuck in a loop.

Well, don't do that.

Well, I'm gonna tell them about the loop. So here's a loop I'm stuck in. Okay?

So it's always about sex.

It's always about sex. Cause I'm stuck in a loop. Let me tell you about the loop. In the last four or five years, I've asked my. I've like, been the hunter of sex maybe three times. Like, I've, I. I literally just don't hunt. And. And I've recognized.

I think you're tired.

It's not just cause I'm tired. Like, I. I mean, I have the drive. Like the sex drive is there. And there's a time I'll go to the porn and masturbate or like, try to offset it to just deal with the energy. But what the real problem was this morning, I stacked the shit out of myself. It took me an hour and 15 minutes.

I was going to ask you, but.

I'm in a loop.

I was going to ask on date night, but I guess we'll fucking do it right now.

I'm in a loop with this topic. Because I have trained myself to not.

I don't like initiating my wife. Like, I don't. I'm like.

So it's like, I will. I will sit here and wait for you to, like, jump on me, which you literally do. I do.

I'm like. I like, mask. I'm like, we're doing this.

It might be a green light. I can't quite be sure. I do have an erection against her vagina. I think it's.

I have to walk by, like, damn near naked to be like, we're open for business.

But you know what? Like, so what happened is I was studying myself this morning. What I think happened is I created a. Like, there was a story based upon rejection that did exist in the first four or five years of our marriage. And then from that place, I created a pattern of, okay, I've been rejected hundreds of times. I will not let me.

I have to just, like, touch base on this. Because I. I was thinking about this last night when we were talking about it. I'm like, you know, fear of rejection. I'm like, literally, babe, there was like, maybe like, the only time I can think of where I, like, actually kind of rejected you is like when we lived in Vegas and how you came about, how you asked for sex or how you came about. It was such a turn off. And I was like, oh, babe, I'm tired. Like, maybe, maybe later. But it wasn't like you were trying to seduce me. It was literally something like, babe, do you want to touch my wiener right now?

Like, I did not say, you want to. I probably did actually say, did I call it a wiener? No, I didn't even call it a cop.

Do you want to give me a hand job? I was like, yeah, I do.

No, I didn't. Yes, you did.

I say that. You fudgeing? No, you.

Unbelievable. I know. I said that when you were pregnant.

No, I didn't say that was like.

When the first baby.

I always feel like the bad guy when you're talking about this and you're like, oh, for the first 10 years. And it wasn't 10 years the only time I could really remember it. No, I'm going to go with three to four years because.

All right. But it was the first three to four years of marriage.

You live life in your own way, and I live my life. So you tell your story and I'll tell mine. But I literally remember I was, like, newly married. I, you know, I got married and I got married 19. I got married at 20, and I felt like we had great chemistry when we were dating. Like, there wasn't ever any time when we were dating and you're like, do you want to give me a hand job? Like, I would have been like, we're not dating anymore and you're creepy. And so I had to say I.

Would just take your clothes off.

Yeah, but you were seducing me. You didn't just take my clothes off.

It was like, Well, I know.

Hey, like, there was seduction in it. And so there was.

Okay, so I'll give you the point. No, I lacked seduction skills.

So you lacked seduction skills. And then I'm the bad guy and I turned you down. But it wasn't like, I was just like, I'm not having sex with you. I was trying to figure out why I didn't want to have sex with you. I was like, I just. I'm tired. Because there was no seduction.

Okay, so the pre frame on the. I get it. At the end of the day, it's always my fault. Okay, that's it, guys, just listen. No matter what happens, it's always your fucking fault.

I wasn't good with communication either.

And maybe so it was an equal fuck up.

Now I could tell you like, babe, don't go like, no, but I don't.

Do the weird thing. So here was the thing. I get it now that I do nothing.

And I'm.

Yeah, I do nothing. I don't do the weird thing. I do nothing. That's progress.

I will be the man.

And yeah, I mean, I don't. So. So, like, listen, I go through the phase of I don't really know how to approach her. I'm trying to work my ass off and be an entrepreneur. I'm very consumed, obsessed by this. And at the same time, I'm acknowledging that I didn't approach this really well. I don't really remember seducing you at all. I do remember working my ass off and then coming home and kind of being a weirdo about it. And then going to bed and waking up early again too.

Like, I loved. Like, I love. I still love watching tv.

You like watching TV until like, midnight.

Well, but here's the.

We had no kids. You had two dogs. You would hug the dogs, watch TV at midnight.

We had sex on the couch. And I remember you. I'd be like, come down and watch a show with me. And I remember we were newly married, no kids. And I remember you'd be like, you'd be like, well, I got a long work day ahead of me. You're not coming to bed. And I like, kind of pouty. And we've talked about this before, like, don't go. Don't pouty, pouty, pouty. And I remember, like, thinking, like, you'd be like, fine, you're not going to bed. And then the wife feels guilty where she's like, oh, shit. I mean, how you said it. And now I feel guilty, and now I for sure don't want to have sex. So there's like, women, like, feel this weird guilt and then they're kind of turned off because of the pouty. And so you can see how this was the perfect style and it replayed for so many years and both of us were like, God, what the fuck happened? Like, we have good chemistry, but what happened? And I get so irritated with you now because sometimes I'll see you, like, slip back into this. It's not pouty.

I don't go pouty.

It's not.

I don't go pouty.

It's just kind of like standoffish, where.

I'm like, it's just shut off.

That's fine. Which I'm like, I can shut off too. But I actually kind of want to have sex. And I appreciate that you're not. You're not coming about it in a creepy, weird way anymore. But at the same time, I'm like, I don't. I don't want to. I don't know how as a woman. I don't even know how to seduce you. Usually I'm just like, I just put my hand in your pants. And you're easily seduced.

But I'd like.

I acknowledge girls, we're not seduced that way.

I will share with you a part of my.

How did this show turn into sex?

I will show you. You always take it to sex. I don't know what you're talking about. You got a problem with it? I guess.

Just kidding.

Here was. Here was. Here was the thing. My title, My stack was Garrett intentionally is avoiding sex. Here was my original story. In My stack, Garrett is a viciously. Garrett is in a viciously fucked up cycle and has deliberately gone out of his way to not have sex with Danielle. And they have now crossed the two week mark of no sex. And it's not because Danielle hasn't been open to it. It's because Garrett's in some fucked up pattern right now, avoiding it.

I like when you're not in this.

Pattern, because even though here's the pattern. So let me do more statements. I want to know why Garrett is so fucked up in his head when emotions with sex. I want to know why Garrett has chosen to be so weak in this area. I want to know why Garrett chooses reactionary mode and why he would oftentimes be 100% okay with 100% with okay with sex once every 10 to 14 days, even though he really wants it two to three times a week. I want to know why he's chosen to be a victim sexually. Play some fucking stupid games that make no fucking sense for him as a king. I want Garrett to take a stand as a man sexually and stop this waiting on the sideline game with his wife. I want gear to become a sexual hunter again in his marriage like he was in the first year he was married. I want gear to break the chains of sexual dysfunction in the game he is playing.

No, I think you were actually, I would say like last year you were, you were better than our first year of marriage. I don't know if I'd give. Our first year. It was like a confusing time. We were like, well, this is different.

But then you had a baby, right? Which is like. So we had the baby. So we go. I go to the desert for 12 months.

I know. And then.

So I think that's what happened. I think that a part of me went back to.

But you know what?

You can't hunt the queen. You already hunted her and you impregnated her.

Okay, but like here.

So now I went back to like non hunter.

Okay, so last week I had events for three days straight. You went out of town and then you had another events for three days straight. So we had a good nine day stretch where we were just like fucking high five on the way out the door. And like we got this. And I just barely got a full time nanny that started this week. So my baby is now three months old. And I, I did everything. Worked. I worked at home. I had my baby. Like, I just, I'm a busy gal, but I didn't care. It wasn't that big. And then I was finally like, you know what? We gotta have date nights without the baby. And like, I'm ready to leave her at home. Not really, but we gotta do this. And so I feel like it was just. We drifted because of life and we were busy. And so I think that it's not that you don't have love and appreciation and respect for your partner, but you have to be careful with that drift where you're like, shit. Because then sex and intimacy becomes awkward. You could totally like Love them to pieces. But you're like, oh, my God, like, this got awkward real fast. And if you continue that loop, then you go into that story of, like, even if it hasn't been that long, or even if you have a better relationship or a better sex life, you go into this story because you start to hit that drift. You start to go into that karmic loop because of what happened 10 years ago, because of that drift. So you have to be careful not to let yourself get into that drift. So that's why I think the pregnancy.

Pulled me back into the old pattern. I don't know, because I listen, because, like, you got to think about the last, like, two and a half, three months you were pregnant. Like, we weren't having sex. There was nothing going on. So I was like, having to put myself in a holding pattern. And I was very good with it. If without surfing. Surfing is interesting because surfing fulfills me in some emotional ways, like sex does.

Well, stop making love to the waves.

Well, I'm. I can't stop making love to the waves. She's amazing. She never says no. She's all. And she changes every single day. She always has different patterns.

You know what? You.

She slaps me.

You know what, though?

She throws me to the ground.

You go in.

But I do have to pursue her.

You go into the wave. Like, I'm gonna finesse you. I'm gonna warm up.

I do penetrate the wave, and I do seduce it. And I slap it a little bit. Yep. It's true. I do. I mean, the ocean's not coming into my bedroom. I do go down. I stretch out and warm up.

I need you to stretch out and warm up. You know what, though? I bet a lot of couples experience, like, what we're talking about.

Yeah. But the pregnancy thing is like a throw off.

Fucking Stop talking about the pregnancy thing. You've been doing this goddamn loop for 15 years. So I'm gonna call you out on the show, and you can keep going back to pregnancy, but I'm gonna need you to fucking man up right now.

Are you asking me to, like, do.

It on the table, Take you right.

Now on the show? Because I will.

Listen, all I'm saying is, like.

So you're giving me authorization?

I know you want to know what happened, though. Okay. Because this is what I realized. I'm gonna get real real. I'm gonna get really, really.

I appreciate you getting real this.

So usually what happens is when I experience the drift or when I know it's been a while, I literally had to physically mount you and be like, stop being a fucking pussy. I don't say that, but that's what I'm thinking. And I. We just have really just.

But I don't pout. I'm not pouting.

I'm not saying you do. All I'm saying is when we get to that point, I just, like, mount you care of business. And I have fun. You have fun, and it's great. I was kind of annoyed. Like, I was just thinking about the drift. And I was like, I'm sick of being the one that always has to break the drift. And I kept trying to be like, hey, babe, like, we should.

Like, when were you doing this?

All fucking week.

All week. You go to bed before me. You're, like, in a comatose, like, coffin bed every.

Every night. I'm literally like. I'm like, hey. I'm like, I might be laying there.

Hey, I told you. You must be sending smoke signals through the shoes.

I told you at least three times this week. I'm like, hey, I know if I'm laying there, I look like I' dead. I'm not.

If you.

If you came up and literally started rubbing my back and you did that a couple weeks ago, I was like, that's nice.

You know why I did, though, that night? Because you wearing lingerie and you fell asleep with your lingerie.

I had to initiate.

I know this. Like, I had to.

I don't have a problem putting on lingerie, but, like, do you need me to put on laundry every night to give you permission?

Oh, no, no. Well, I guess, obviously at this point, I've required that. But here. Here's the deal. Here's what my commitment is. I'm going to read the end of my stack. Here's. Here's the end of my stack. Ready?

A girl just wants to get laid.

Action. Oh, my God. I can't believe you're even saying this. Who is this woman possessed of a demon? I love it.

I'm just kidding. I'm usually really tired at night, but.

I'd be up in the. Oh, no. Action. I will go out of my way to. Or out of my way. I will go out of. Whoops. I messed. That was supposed to be way. I will go out of my way to hunt my wife. Okay, this starts. Don't tell you anymore.

No.

Okay. You don't get to hear any more of the secrets. What is hunt?

What is hunt?

Hunt is like, you're saying, be proactive about it.

Yeah.

Because there's many times I want to have sex with you.

Don't you think, too. When you have kids, you want it to be passionate and spur the moment. But I'm sorry. When you work a lot and you have kids, sometimes you gotta look at your partner and you're like, tonight's the night. And that doesn't mean that it can't. Cause there's times when I'm like, I'm kinda tired. Let's just make it quick. But then it evolves. I'm like, wow, that was not quick at all. That was great.

Think about last night, though. I'm putting Isla to bed. You go to bed. I put Ruby to bed. I'm pushing Isla around in the stroller in the house for her to fall asleep. You're in bed.

I was so tired last night with the dog.

So then I get Isla in bed. She's finally ready to go to sleep. It's been like 20 minutes. You're laying there, not moving at all. You're just like a lump, like a giant sack of potatoes.

When you fall asleep with Ruby, what do I do?

You come in and wake me up.

Exactly.

But why are you waking me up? Because you wanna have sex.

I'm waking you up to say, now's your window.

Oh, I thought you were waking me up to tell me to go to bed.

Why would I care? You could go to bed in roomy's room. I don't care.

So all the times you're waking me up, I'm coming in there. That's my moment.

I literally am like, oh, I bet. I'm, like, literally thinking like, oh, we should have sex. And then I'm like, oh, shit, he fell asleep with my daughter again. I'm like, babe, babe. And there's times you're like, oh, I'm. No, just leave me alone. And that's when I kind of. I'm like, okay. I'm kind of tired, too. I offered. You said no. Good night. See?

Well, all right.

So now you know.

Fair enough.

But no, like, I.

So in the end, it's all. It's my fault, always.

No, no, no. Here's what. I'm going to challenge you, Garrett, in this podcast. I was like, this is really weird. This is. This is our therapy. Thank you for listening.

I'm gonna challenge you in this podcast. I'm right.

Give it to me instead. I feel like I'm always the one that you're 100.

Always doing. You're not just breaking the drift. You're the one that always pursued. Because I went. I got for Four years I've gone into.

And I told you this.

Don't touch the queen.

I need you to pursue. It's like. And pursue doesn't mean, like, come up and start fondling. It's literally like, kiss the back of your neck, rub your shoulders, rub the inner thigh. There's so many things you can do that it's not just like, we're doing this.

All right, so you're. I'm down with this. I'm down with the commitment.

Good show. Godspeed. See you next show.

Godspeed. I don't even know if this show brought to you by warrior greens. I'm gonna put some powdered warrior greens on you and lick it off.

Let's go to date night.

All right. We're going to date night. So anyways. Yeah. Welcome to. Welcome to another closure of an episode of date your wife, AKA Garrett and Danielle's therapy show. We may not be teaching you shit, but we're definitely exposing some ideas for you, which I have had people tell me in the past couple weeks. But that's why they like to listen to the show, because they're like, it's not like you guys are up there trying to tell us exactly how to do shit. You're pretty much just, like, demonstrating all the shit we're going through. But they're talking about it in a way that seems to help.

You know what I think? People. People tell me, I think we're a.

Lot better than we were before.

I think that people tell me all the time, they're like, I was listening. I was dying, laughing. I went and implemented the same strateg that you guys were going to implement. And I'm like, everybody wins.

Yes. Everyone's winning. I mean, listen. Qqp, quickie, quickie porn star goes down into the record books is one of your greatest moments of all time. But obviously, I have got to ship this game. I've stacked the shit out of this. I got a commitment to stack, and I'm going to actionably deal with this issue that I have. And it's not my. Listen, I'm not the only guy. Like, the shutdown game, there was an evolution. I went from the pouty guy to not the pouty guy. Now I'm not the pouty guy. Now I'm just like, whatever. I got whatever. I'll handle myself. I got this. Whatever.

That's why I said, I'm sure there's, like, tons of couples, especially if you have kids, if you're both working, if you're not like, life gets busy, and it's just you. You, like, love and appreciate. You connect with them. You have communication, but you're like, that's a piece of communication is having sex. And so when you lose that intimacy part, you feel like partners, even though, like, you love and respect them. But it's. If you're in a marriage, you want to have that spark and that chemistry. Agreed. As well. So.

Agreed. Let's go to the rest of our date night while I put my hand on your inner thigh.

I knew you'd like that. All right.

Hey, we'll see you guys.

See you guys when we see it.

And here's a couple things. Number one, warrior greens, our powder greens, available@warriorgreens.com. go check it out. We got to move there. Talk about the new powder greens by Wake Up Warrior. Also, we have a new series online called the seven Pits of Married Businessmen With Children. I think you might get a ton of value from it if you're a guy. And if you're not and you're a woman, you might want to recommend this. Your husband might help you out also. You also get a lot of value to it. You can kind of see into the mind of businessmen and what they're facing every single day with the stress inside of the office, the teams, the employees, et cetera. Plus trying to come home, be an amazing husband and father. Check that out. You can get that at betheman. Com.

I got nothing to pitch. Okay, well, we're done in fashion and stuff. You can go to dkwstyling. Com later, guys.