Learning To Read Between The Lines

Harmony would be like us playing a song together. And like, we're not going to play every note equally. Otherwise we don't have music. We're going to play a specific rhythm of music that creates song or harmony. When two voices come together, they don't sing the same notes.

Now we're going to say create harmony in your body. Being balanced in business.

Exactly. Welcome to having it all, harmony in life. Welcome to the sick version of date your wife, the podcast. I'm here with your host, hostess of the mostest, and your partner in crime, my partner in crime, Danielle K. White, who officially broke into the sweats today. Literally sweats.

Literally sweats and sweats.

Sweats and sweats.

I was feeling we have our little babies are sick. And I was like, oh, I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. And I was like feeling really great. And then yesterday, you know, you can feel it creeping up. I'm like, no. And then today I was like, oh, yeah, it's here, it's official.

So do you know I've made it the last like almost two years and I'm getting sick. Do you want to know my magic trick?

Sure.

Every morning, Every night. No, every morning. That's part of it. Every morning. Vitamin C. I take all the vitamins. Zinc.

I take all the vitamins. No, I don't usually.

I do it every morning, every night.

You know what I noticed when I was like eating super clean, I didn't get sick and I usually eat pretty clean. Then over the summer I didn't eat as clean. And then I like got sick and then I don't really know how I managed to get sick this time. It's cuz you worked this weekend and I was more with the babies and I was like thinking I wouldn't get sick. And then I was like sharing spoons and bites and hugs and kisses. And then next thing you know, I'm like, damn it.

And you pushed it three times in a row with alcohol, so that probably weakened your immune system.

You say that. You're so funny.

I'm not judging about it. I'm just saying alcohol reduces your immunity.

No, it doesn't. I'll tell you what it doesn't.

It increases it.

I don't. You always like, you're so judgy.

I'm not judging about it. I'm just saying you got sick.

No, it's because I literally on Saturday I was like huggy and kissy and touchy because I was like, I thought they were getting better and So I was like, sharing literally, like, chicken nuggets with them. I was like, if you're a mom, like, you just know, like, you have to make sure the chicken nuggets are safe.

You eat them.

So you take a bite and you share a bite and then you just. Lots of sharing and snuggling faces and next thing you know, you're sick.

Unless you're trained for fitness competition, at which point you do not eat the chicken nuggets.

No, see, that's. That's probably true. Like, when I was like, eating healthy, I was like, I'm not having a bite of that Mac and cheese. That's not worth it. Now I'm like, one for you, one for me, one for you. Okay. I'm gonna drink lots of water and be fine.

You have to be fine. We speak at Funnel Hacking Live this week.

Well, not till Saturday, so.

Yeah. Well, it's gonna be exciting. We're going to Florida. We'll be there for. Let's see, we'll be there for. We fly out Wednesday. So either Wednesday night, Thursday night, Friday night, Saturday night, four nights, and we'll fly back on Sunday.

There we go.

Right? And I speak. I speak on Thursday and by myself. And then we as a family speak together on Saturday. So I'm wondering if we should give microphone or not.

She is so funny. She will get too shy. She won't do anything.

You think?

Yeah, I know she will.

You won't. She won't like, magically say like or something.

Stages that are obviously not as big as clickfunnels, but there's quite a few people in there. And she, like, immediately like, freezes like.

Oh, are we gonna bring Brie on stage with the babies?

Yeah, I think we should bring the babies out.

Why are we bringing them? No, we have all the babies out there.

I was like, otherwise we would have just kept Bri here home with the babies.

We could always still do that.

I know. I'm think. I'm literally like, thinking that. I was like.

Because traveling with sick babies is going to be.

I know. And I was like, it's a lot of work to travel with babies.

Like, and I don't know if those girls care.

I know, but we did book Disney World. That can always be cancer. Charlie wouldn't know. Shoot. Are we deciding this?

Are we literally deciding this? Well, here's all I can think about is I think about Charlie having a hard time on a flight for six hours.

I thought that would be better. Cuz I swear they got like back to back Colds. Cuz last week they were kind of sick, but then they started to get better and I was like, oh, good, they're going to be fine by the time we go to Orlando. And then like, they both started like getting sick again over the weekend. But I thought it was maybe like the same cold lingering. And now that I have it, I'm like, no, it's definitely like a new cold.

Well, the only challenge is going to be, is they're going to be stuck in a hotel room.

I know it's going to be.

It's going to be a little rough, I think.

Well, they have a pool there. No, they have a pool. It.

We're having a moment right now, and I think our moment decision is we're starting to weigh the reality of having kids who are slightly sick on a trip to Florida with our nanny would almost be better off to have breed.

Just staying with us. I stay here with the babies. I know, right? We're like, well, we changed our mind. Let's think about it. Let's see how we're doing tonight.

Well, good. We're recording this podcast within the next hour. We're gonna make a decision about when.

We go take a nap after this podcast.

All right, well, okay, so before you take a nap, what do you want to talk about after this podcast? Well, we had a great conversation during our therapy today. Let's talk about that, you know, talk about three levels of sex that, that our therapist introduces to I.

It's interesting because now that we've been, like, having therapy every week, I realize that you and I are learning how to read between the lines with each other, maybe more so me, I don't know, but I feel like you have become way more conscious and patient and conscious much more. And I. I've kind of felt like this was the next, like, push to our relationship. So it's kind of fun, like, seeing, seeing like. And I don't think we give ourselves enough credit how, how far we've come as a couple. So then when I talk with our therapist or meet with other couples, we just started our group therapy. Date your wife.

Experience.

Experience. And I'm like, I think we're actually a lot more, like, evolved than we think.

Well, we'll explain the three levels of sex. Even in the three.

The levels of sex. Yeah, I know we both got married.

Young and like, but we did it backwards.

No, but what I. But I'm. What I'm saying is there's a lot of people that get married young and like, at the Christian Cultural bubble.

Never get out of it.

They never get out of it.

Number two. I bet you most are in number two.

And I realized, well, you better explain the three.

All right, here's the three levels. Level number one, levels. Bubbles is the soul connective version of sex, which is about something beyond orgasm. It's not necessarily about coming, it's about connecting. Yeah, there you go. That's a good statement. It's not about coming, it's about connecting. So that's level one. And that is what traditionally people call making love.

Yeah.

Okay. So there's number two, which is more primal. So it is a. I just want to fuck, meaning I'm here to come. I'm not so worried about you. I'm worried about myself. And it may be a give one. One giver, one taker. So I'm blowing you, you're blowing me. And it's just about you. It's like, just about you. It's not about me. It's about me giving to you. I need you to disappear into the infinite universe and just worry about coming yourself. Don't worry about me. You just come. Or vice versa.

Which is like an interesting place to be in too, because I think women a lot of times are like, less receiving. So the guy's like. You had to realize, like, the guy has to communicate like, hey, let me serve you for a while.

Do you know a lot of guys want to go down on their wives and their wives reject it.

I know, but I'm just saying, I.

They don't want it. Women are like, eh, that's weird. Some women choose that. Their whole marriage is.

I really realized this with you a long time ago. I go, oh, he enjoys it. Okay.

A lot of guys want to just devour their wives down there. Actually, most guys I know want to do this. And then of that there's a smaller percentage of women who are open to receiving it. And then there's another percentage who will do it, but they don't really care. They don't really like it, but they do it because the guy likes it. And then there's a. Like more than half of the guys I talk to, their wives are flat out no won't allow them. And I'm like, well, how you feel about. They're like, I. It sucks, man. Because then what ends up happening is she doesn't blow him. So he wants to be taken and blown as much as he wants to blow her. But then she. So in the relationships where the woman.

Rejects it about oral, it's just like one Person kind of giving, like me, like giving myself to you. Like, have your way with me. And you're like, thank you. And you the same way. Like I think of it more like that.

I think that it's probably one of the most intimate things. If you're blowing me or I'm blowing you. That, that, that in that engagement of giving is like a game of submission as a giver to your partner.

Giving, it's like I'm yours. Like, yeah, yeah.

Give to me with only one desire, which is make me come. Which I think is a problem. I'm not a problem. But like there's a, there's a, that's a, that's a hang up. So that's level two. Yeah. And level three is role playing and fantasy, which is the ability to put and like be characters to watch porn together. To even go as far as maybe go to a strip club or he was even saying like go to a sex club where you're having sex and other people are watching you have sex or you're watching other people have sex.

Hotel like a.

Not like a hotel, like a sex club.

What do they call?

Like there's strip club.

No, there's some hotels in like. I know.

Oh, like a nude. Like a nude one. And we know some friends have gone to those where you go to the resort and you're just with your partner but everybody's naked and people pretty much having sex everywhere.

Yeah.

So there's like.

What do you call that one though?

I don't know. There's like a line like sexual adventure, adventurer, sexual adventure, role play. And then there's just like role playing your bedroom or role play being with you. And I was like, okay, so we entered the game of sex. We never went to one. Do you remember actually making love when we were together?

Because I feel like I don't remember at all when we were dating. I was 18, we got married when I was 20. And there definitely was like an intimate connection because we weren't having sex. So I disagree. I think obviously there was a lot of sexual chemistry, intimacy. Although we didn't actually have sex. There was that kind of making love sort of connection. Like definitely like kind of like a. I would say like a soul. That's like soul sex, if that's what you want to call it. But then what happened is we got married.

Really? Shame.

No, I didn't have any guilt and shame in the beginning. We got married really young and sex like kind of became awkward. And then we kind of. We came in that bubble Where I was like, you were working a ton. And then I was kind of resentful. And then the chemistry was gone. That soulful chemistry was gone. And then sex came kind of robotic or. And then after that phase. I'm explaining the phases for us. Then after robot sex.

I think robot sex isn't even any of the three. I think robot sex is, like, obligatory sex.

Yeah.

Which is like, level zero.

Yes, exactly.

It's like, like, negative in hell. It's like, like vaginal masturbation. And.

Yeah. Like, neither of you connected sexually, emotionally, or physically. You're just like, it's been a week. Should we have sex? So it's definitely, like, obligatory. Yeah. So he didn't talk about that version. But that's like. We went from, like, soul connecting, even though we weren't having sex till we got married. Then we went to, like, negative. Like, the sex.

Obligatory.

Yeah. And then it. Then we went to, like, two. This is stupid. Like, let's have fun sex. And then it got like.

I think it went to two. Getting off ourselves.

Oh. Then we went to two.

Yeah. So we went from connecting when we were dating to zero without. Well, we weren't having sex when we were dating.

No. But there was definitely, like, intimacy and connection.

Yeah, well, we had intimacy and connection. Probably way more intimacy and connection then than we did in the first five years actually having sex.

Oh, for sure. That's why I think that's what we held on to. We were like. We. We thought we, like, imagined we were going to get married. It was going to be, like, so, like, mind blowing. And we were both like, this is really bad.

We had no idea the hell we were doing.

We didn't know. So. But. So anyways, that went on for a while. And then we went to this other side, which was like, what was the next phase for us?

So we went from obligatory zero to number two, which was, you take community, I take care of you.

Yeah.

And then there was number three, which became, like, role playing and, like, kind of intense aggressive. That's where he said, like, yeah, rapey sex was like, sounds bad. I know. And he's. He explained. He's, like, not, like, actually like a.

Woman being taken when you feel comfortable enough with your significant other that you can share role play, as long as it's a we thing. So whether you decide you want to watch porn together or you decide you want to go to a strip club or to club together, as long as it's like. He's, like, describing it. It's like a wee thing. Like, it's fun and adventurous, but it's not. You're not like, with other partners. It's like a fantasy together.

Yeah.

So.

So number two is not happening in number three, meaning it's not us having. I mean, he was playing that out. Like, there's that the fantasy one and number three can go to a lot of levels.

Right.

The one thing he was talking about is he said that the. The minute that a couple crosses the line sexually with somebody else, the thing he's noticed as a therapist is a radical change in connection with that couple. Even when they're doing it for the. The we, there's still a. Almost a destabilization of.

And we've talked about this. We've talked about this on some of our other podcasts. Like, we're like, what happens if we decide that we. We, like, entertain options? Like, would you ever have a threesome? Would you ever have an open relationship? And we've actually had these conversations to the point where we're like, I don't know. And then we always arrive at the same place where we're like, no, because I see it doing more harm, and I believe that we can get there without having to go, go that far down the path. And when I look at the risks, I'm like, it actually seems less fun and more risky to do that and actually risk losing connection. Right. So you're like, I want to spark things up and it'll reconnect us. And I'm like, for me, because we were married so young and we've gone through so much history together, to me, I looked at it as like, no, I can see how that might be fun and, like, kind of dangerous, but, like, I could see more harm in going down that path than good for us.

Yeah.

And for most couples, really, I kind of think it's like, I don't want to sound like a dick, but I think kind of think it's like a cop out. Like, it's just like, oh, that sounds more fun on that side. It sounds like a weaker move. Like, it's just like, I'm like, why can't you figure it out together? And so I am always, like, entertaining. Like, the thought of, like, ooh, what, what's next in our relationship? And I feel like for a woman, I'm fairly open minded, but it always leads me back to the same place of like, like, how can we do it together? And that's one of the things I like that he said in therapy when he talked about the different levels of sex he's like, listen, as long as it's a we thing. And that's kind of how I've always felt. I'm like, hey, I, I, I'm. I'm fine with role play, like, whatever you want to do, but it needs to be a wee thing.

Yep. Well, we had, We've had some experiences where, like, it didn't feel that way sexually, and we ended it. Meaning it was like, either stopped having sex because you weren't feeling connected because I was somewhere else mentally, and vice versa. Has been that way for me too. It's not even just fantasies. Like, your brain can be thinking about grocery shopping, and, yeah, I'm over here.

Like, doing the checklist, and you're, like, looking at my eyes, and I'm like, dude, I got so much shit on my mind. But what I was thinking, too, what's funny is, like, there's been some times, too, where you're like. Like, I'm into role playing and you're not, or vice versa. And so what I kind of got to the end with this conversation is it's like, it's almost like we talked about this on another show. Couple bubble. Like, not planning your sex, but you're like, reading your. Your partner, what kind of sex are you gonna have tonight? And whether it's fun, crazy sex, it's roleplay sex, it's intimate sex. It's just like, we're gonna get her done sex. Like, we got kids. It's almost just like reading your partner's energy of like, oh, this is the kind of sex we're gonna have tonight, you know?

Yeah.

So that's kind of where I got, like, none of it is. Growing up Mormon, it was like, this is bad. This is naughty. This is. You can't connect with your partner this way. It's total. So I'm like, okay, but what if you could and you had fun and you didn't feel guilty and it actually made you feel more connected? There's not just one way to have sex. You have a lot of, like, Christian women are like, it's always soul sex. I'm like, you poor. You poor soul. It's not always soul sex. And so I'm like, that person that's like, I believe there's so many different levels that you can explore and connect. And I think we have kind of done that. And, like, this year has gone back to, like, more of that, like, soul sex. We've gotten good at all the other sex. So I'm like, let's get back to, like, the soul sex mixed with the good sex and see where that takes us.

I think it's the first time that we've had, like, it's probably the first time I can think of where there's been enough satisfaction sexually that the idea of even debating have sex or cuddle with my wife is a viable, like, on the table decision. Where night. Maybe in the past, I've been like, there's a window for sex. We're having sex right now.

Yeah, yeah. You're like, if there's a window we gotta do, we have to do it. Yeah, but sometimes still like that. But it's like, literally read the room. Like, that's the only thing I can think of is, like, on Friday, we had, like, really wild sex.

Wild sex.

And then we were up for a long time. And then on, like, Saturday, I was like, babe, I don't know if you're feeling this way, but I'm so excited to cuddle and fall asleep. And you're like, me too. And I was like, thank God. So it's like, we both knew, like, in the past we both had this weird, like, okay, there's a window. We've. It's date night. Okay. But it was like, the previous night, we'd had, like, crazy, wild sex for hours. That it was like, I gotta be honest, I gotta go to bed. So I think it's just, like, it's fun to kind of get on that level of communication with your partner. And that's, like, one thing that we've really been working on this year is better communication with one another. It's so interesting, like, studying the Enneagrams and things like that. It's like, you. You know your partner almost better than they know themselves, especially when we've been together for so long. So there's times, like, you might say something like this morning, and I'm like, I'm not gonna. I'm not even gonna be offended, but I am going to bring it to his attention, right about the behavior I just saw. Whereas in the past I might be like, what the fuck? And, like, gotten triggered and, like, said something to you, but instead I was like, okay, like, I'm learning how to read you and, like, know, like, the energy and the space that you're in so that I can almost, like, intentionally read what you're saying out loud, which is like, Ben.

Something we did not have the skills to do last year. This year, we had better skills. Like, we're understanding through therapy and through the Enneagram, understanding each other better and Understanding each other better. It's almost like. It's like what Stephen says, too, is like, you're giving your partner the benefit of the doubt. Yeah, but it's, hey, my partner loves me. They're not trying to be a bitch, not trying to be an asshole.

They're not trying to be a dick.

Yeah, what if I just gave them benefit of the doubt now you can't keep giving them benefit of the doubt. They keep fucking it up over and over and over again. But.

Well, it's funny too. Cause the more we've kind of like learned how to, like, understand the energy of the other person, there's more chemistry between us. It's almost like I can just look at you from across the room and we will start smiling like, I got you, you know? And it's. It's definitely built back again just like that chemistry with one another where it's like when you're dating and you feel like you can kind of read their mind, it's like we're kind of getting back to that original phase, but having been. Been married 20 years, so it's kind of like I was telling you today. I'm like, gosh, like, I don't know, a lot of Tuttles couples, a lot of touchels, couples that can touch our experience we've had together, what we've gone through, what we've built, and where we're at on every level.

That's one of my clients. They said, dude, why do you. These are like a series of 10 clients that all invest 500,000 a year to work one on one with me. And that's a program I've run, like every year for a number of years. And I was asking one of them this morning and said, what is it about your work with me that has you trust me in a level? And these guys have worked. The guys I work with, work with, like, worked with everybody. Like, worked with big name coaches that you would know that I know names, big name brands in our industry, in the game of consulting or coaching and personal development. And I'm like, you lean into me. Like, why do you trust me more than you trust all these guys? Like, what is it about it? Because they'll tell me this. Well, dude, I trust you. I share things with you, I grow with you, I create with you. And I said, well, what is it? And they said, three things. One, vulnerability, which is you are open about your dark, your light, your ups, your downs. You share your stacks and your world with us at a one on one level to where it's almost ridiculous than none of them.

A lot of them, like, almost want to look too perfect.

They do. They want. Well, because the old standard in coaching was I need to be the symbol of something for you to aspire to. And I find that what's even more impressive is when you realize just how fucked up I am. And yet I keep fucking winning. It's like, what's more inspiring, thinking somebody is perfect or they don't have any problems and they've got their shit dialed and perfect all the time and they're winning. That's like the ideal movie game. But the reality of life is, is that in order to create anything big, you find yourself in a shitty place. Like, it's hard. And you're gonna have dark days, dark nights. That's why I don't trust pastors. I don't trust priests. I don't trust because they feel like.

They have to only say, like, half truths.

Because they can't. They only can't say, you're not going to get a pastor show up there on a Sunday night.

Why doesn't somebody do it?

I am. I'm a Pastor White right here. I'm Pastor White Church.

There you go. I like it.

But I'm saying, you're not going to get a pastor on a Sunday that's going to get up there and be like, hey, guys.

And you know what?

Last week I was looking at porn and masturbating on pornhub, One of my favorites, Reverse Cowgirl. You know, my wife was not, like, really putting out. We've been having a hard time for, like, three weeks. I wouldn't be here. But you know what? Let's go to the book of Matthew and hear about Jesus today.

But you do it.

I would do that all the time, but I would think to do that in a church environment, people lose their shit. Because the church environment has taught people to only look at one side of the equation. Look at the light, look at the light. Look at the light, look at the light.

Right?

Which is funny because they tend to quote Psalms. And Psalms is an entire book written by a prophet and a king of God.

Oh, you know, dark shit was who.

Murdered a man and then fucked his wife. Murdered him so he could fuck his wife.

Right?

And that's him writing how bad he feels in Psalms. And then all these people that only want to live in light are quoting the guy who murdered a dude to fuck a girl.

Yeah, well, it's. It's funny, though. Not funny, but it's. That is One of the things, like in our. Your event that you did last week, and one of your students was like, you know, at first when you find Garrett, you're like, this guy is like a train wreck. I can't stop watching. He's like. And it's funny that he said that, because when I met you, that's what I would tell people. I'd be like, I don't know, he lures you in somehow, you're like, who's his nut job? And then all of a sudden I'm like, but I married to him. So who's the bigger nut job? But he was like saying, he's like. He's like, what Garrett is brilliant about is like, it doesn't matter what he's talking about. It's truth for him. So you trust him, even if you don't agree with what he's saying. And it just goes to say that authenticity sells. If somebody is speaking, whether it's in social media or on stage, if what they're saying is true to them, it resonates in people's hearts and they immediately trust you. And that's the art of sales. And that's why you're so good at it, is because you can always speak the truth. So if you can do that, people are like, here, I trust you. Here's my money, here's my exchange. And so that's why one of the reasons I believe that you're so good at sales, even though people are like, he's crazy, there is this side of vulnerability mixed with trust that just makes the magic happen.

So that was reason number one. Trust, which is vulnerability and truth, which is I show my dark side and my light side all the time to people close to me and not close to me. And this created an opportunity for me to live a life that I really wanted, which is I didn't want a life. That was a box. That was my first 10 years as an entrepreneur. I felt like I lived in a plastic box and I was a self righteous prick and Mormon, and I lived in this box of, like, I had all these other thoughts and feelings and desires, but I couldn't talk about them because my box was so fucking small. So I said, I'm just going to create a massive box, and anyone tries to put me in a box, I'm gonna smash that box so that my box just keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger and I can do whatever I want, say what I want, besides murder people. So that was first piece. Second piece was that I have what they want. And like one this morning was like, dude, look at you. He's like, your wife's gorgeous. She's beautiful. You two are open in dialogue. You co create and train together. You both run eight figure brands. You've created four children. You've brought in your son. She's adopted your son as her own. You're fit, she's fit. You guys are rich. You live in a massive house, you have the cars everyone wants. You spiritually are on fire. About Jesus, he's like, bro, you might be a fucking psychopath. He's like, but the reality is I trust you because of your truth and because you have what I want. Your truth and your fruit. That was good. Good job. And this is the problem that most couples have is most of us don't have examples of people to look to.

Well, they have examples of somebody who's really good at one area. Yeah, he's a great businessman. Well, okay, he's great. He's had a great marriage. Okay, well, his family dynamic looks great. Well, his body, his physique is amazing. But like, and everyone always, I hate when people are like, oh, balance doesn't exist. I'm like, yes, it does. And harmoniously exists and must in order to, like, have everything. Not like crash and burn.

But I think it's a game, like you said. And I think the word for just semantics and definition, harmony is does exist. Balance does not. Like, balance assumes that we can balance the amount of time that I have with you versus the business or each one of our children. I don't have enough time to balance equally everything. What I do have is the ability to play from my heart.

I think that balance is like. Balance isn't like an equal number. Yeah, it's just deposits in every area.

Harmony. It's so harmony would be like us playing a song together. And like, we're not going to play every note equally. Otherwise we don't have music. We're going to play a specific rhythm of music that creates song or harmony. When two voices come together, they don't sing the same notes.

Now we're going to say creep. Harmony in your body being. Balance in business.

Exactly. Welcome to having it all. Harmony in life. There you go. Like that. Have it all. The harmonic. The harmonic.

What are we speaking?

Harmonic science. To living a great life.

Yeah.

That didn't have anything there for you. Oh, we were speaking at Funking Live.

I just don't think a T shirt says harmony is gonna sell.

But no Harmony. I think of eharmony, the dating website. We're Talking about fire is what we're going to talk about. We're going have the family there. We might only have half the family there, which I'm not opposed to.

I know the morning. I'm not feeling good today.

So like the thought of n. I'm feeling fine right now. And I know what this event is and how busy it is and how intense it is. And I know that hustling a one and a half year old and a four year old who's bored in five seconds with everything, the one day they're going to have fun is Disneyland. And the rest of the time it's going to be trying to coordinate two babies in a hotel room. Yes. There's a pool and there's good. The hotel is going to be packed.

I know.

Packed.

We should bring them.

I would like to bring them, but I am.

Why are you telling me this? Literally, like, I plan the whole thing, set up the nannies, pack that, the suitcases, bag and what we still.

I picked up.

I have transportation, flights now you're like.

Nothing changes, we just don't bring.

I was thinking about last year and I was like, that was fun. But it was just you and I and then I was like, well, it'll be fun to like introduce the real.

White House and like Ruby Bailey Parker would be awesome.

Would be fun.

Oh, Isla and Charlie, we are in our nightmare. It's a night, just a flight. I already see the headache happening.

I. And we need to be focused and then we need to plan our thing. We got. We got planning to do.

I just. I feel like we should take the Olders and drop the Littles.

Oh, no. I. I will be so mad at you.

Well, I just feel like we should drop the Littles. Even bring in Isla's ralph.

It's just cuz she doesn't feel good right now. She's so. She has a dress. I bought her a dress.

Well, leave Charlie.

I can't leave Charlie.

Why? She could take care of herself. I think, I think it's. Seeing them would be great. I think having them on stage would be fun. But I think that I'm weighing this out and I'm saying, why are you weighing it out?

Six hours before we're supposed to fly.

We still have time. We don't fly out six hours. We stop. We fly out like 12 hours from now. 15 hours. Got plenty of time to decide. But I just look at the overall experience. I'm like, would our kids have fun? They're not gonna spend the whole day at the pool. And I'm gonna be in speaking on Thursday. The one day will be awesome. Charlie could give a shit. She won't remember. Isla would like being involved in all of the Disneyland part and the pool part and would be bored out of her mind after 20 minutes inside the training room.

I just. There's. If it, if. If Isla didn't know better, I'd be like, yeah, leave them both here. But she already thinks she's going. We've got a dress. Like, she would be if you were like, sorry, baby girl, we're leaving you home.

What if we just leave Charlie home?

Who's going to watch Isla?

We'll bring Isa with us and then we can have Ruby and Bailey and Parker be babysitters at time for Isla. We just leave Charlie. Leave the nanny with Charlie.

We're already bringing all of them whenever.

Yeah, but Isla can, like take care of herself. She's not going to have a meltdown.

It's a rough age.

2 year old Charlie's in the. I can't see it still. I want to throw everything and call. Ha. She's in the. She's in the phase.

But like, they can't even walk up the stairs by themselves.

She can't even be outside anywhere. She can't trust it. Tries to eat everything, chokes on everything.

Yeah. It's almost like I weigh out the risk of like bringing her. That's the only reason I'm bringing.

Let's just take it. I love that. Our kid. We're literally negotiating child swapping right now. I think it's a good idea. I think we should just leave Charlie. Oh, man, I love her, but she'll be a pain in the ass.

Okay.

Someone's gonna have to hold her. That flight alone, that's 12 hours. A nightmare. She's in that nightmare phase. She's not fun. She's gonna scream and fight and punch and kick and throw Cheerios and do her thing. If we were flying private, I would say.

And one kid to manage is actually pretty easy.

I let. To manage by herself is great, but.

No, I'm saying one kid you like. Meaning if Brie doesn't come, one kid manages. Charlie naps.

She can take naps. She's fine. I think we've already made a decision. And then we've got.

I was already kind of stressed about it.

We've got older kids. Parker's come by himself. Taylor's not coming. So we got Parker, Bailey, Ruby, and that's three.

When I thought about Parker. That's Parker, Ruby, Bailey. No Charlie and Isla, plus me and you.

I was like, we got coverage.

We're the Brady Bunch. What are we doing?

We got coverage. We can put Isla in Parker's room. Isaac can hang out with her. Look, Parker can hang out with his little buddy.

Oh, man.

And Isaac had to stay with Parker.

We'll talk about this after.

Well, they could put Darby. Her and Bailey and Ruby will stay up all night long.

I know.

We're literally having a planning session right here on this podcast. Well, one of the children is getting dropped. We don't know which one. So what happens when you have five kids?

You know where my mind goes?

Where?

Like, what if something happens? We left one kid home and we all died. Yeah.

You just want them all die with us.

No, I was like, where. Who's Charlie go to? That's where my brain goes as a mom.

But what if. If we all die, that means she would. She lived. So it's a good thing for her.

It's true.

But my mind wants her to die with us. That's selfish motherhood.

That does sound dark. My mind, what if.

What if she's the only one that lives and we all die? I'm like, good for her. She's living. It's fantastic.

Who's gonna take care of my Charlie?

Bree's officially a mom.

We in? All right, Bri.

Congratulations. Here's $100 million. You now officially own the game. That's what it be worth if we died. Isn't that weird? Life insurance is weird.

What?

There's value being alive with life insurance. Why don't I have time to talk about on this show?

But that's good. I feel like we had a good show. We talked about.

How's it going?

Click funnels Sex.

It's a good show. It's only like 40 minutes, but it's perfect.

It's good. I'm feeling closure.

Feeling complete. I feel like we orgasmed on the show. Level two.

Level two.

Level two.

Which level would you like to have tonight?

I'd like to have sick. When did sickness ever.

One.

Oh, that's good. Let's do level one.

Level one.

That's level one's connecting. Cuddle sacks.

Cuddle.

Yeah.

Maybe just cuddle. No, I might get you sick.

You cuddle and I'll come backside.

I think we should just go for.

Just lay on your side and we'll.

Go, oh, my gosh.

I'll cuddle you from the backside and handle it.

Okay. Sir, I feel like I should tell this is a story of this morning to Wrap the show up.

Sure, go for it. We'll wrap the show up. Today's funny, today's. We call this putting your wife in the bro zone.

Yes. Don't put your wife in the bro zone.

Don't put your wife in the bro zone.

I. Last night, I'm like, sorry, babe, I'm not feeling good. Like, it's not gonna happen. So we fall asleep cuddling. I wake up to him snoring in my ear at like midnight. And I'm like, intentional. He normally wears this tape that's been working really good. But my theory is, because you're growing out your beard more, it's not sticking to your face, and it's not like a little snore. It's. I've talked about this. It's an aggressive snoring.

Do a demo. That's not Alice.

Yes, it is.

Are you serious?

Yes. It's so loud. So I'm sitting there, I'm not feeling good. He wakes me up with his snoring, and I'm like, I. I'm like. At first I'm nice. I'm like, hey, babe, your face tape fell off. Then I'm like, babe. And then finally I'm like, I got.

Another tape and I put it on there.

I know. But finally after that doing that for like an hour and a half, I was like, babe, you got to go. I didn't say that, but I think you got the hint. And you left and went and slept.

In the other room, Charlie's room.

But the problem is, for women, this is like really normal for women. If we wake up in the middle of the night for more than like a pee break and our brains just turn on. So because I was like kicking you and tapping you for like an hour, by then I was like, my brain is now turned on. So then I'm like thinking about the trip and the planning and the kids and the da, da, da, da. And that's just like, would this have.

Been a good time to come back and have sex with you?

I did. My brain did go there. I was like, maybe I just need orgasm. I don't know. So then, anyways, long story short, I finally fall back asleep. But like, 3:30, yeah. I'm like, but when you get broken up, sleep like that, it's like, it's. You're like a zombie, right? So then I'm already not feeling good. My. Literally, my throat was, like, burning. I didn't sleep good. I. I get up, I've come downstairs. I'm just looking through some Emails and stuff. And Garrett comes in just like. I mean, he's just. I mean, he's doing the strut. He is walking, and you could tell he just got done with his workout. He's got the tightest shorts on I've ever seen in my entire life. He's got this little tiny tank top on.

Not tiny.

I'm like, hey, babe, good morning. He immediately starts flexing. And I was like, oh, here we go again. Because he's getting ready for his fitness show. So I'm like, I'll be playful. Like, it's fine. I'm like, yeah, you know, it would make this. This flexing show better. Why don't you take off your pants? Like, just joking around, like, being funny, and then you, like, keep going. And I'm like, but, yeah, I don't feel good. I don't feel good. And, you know, I really didn't sleep. And maybe if you weren't snoring, you're like, maybe you should get out of my bed. And, like, anyways, it was. I felt like I was like, oh, my God, I'm, like, so sick right now. And he's just, like, really into, like, bro mode. And I'm like, oh, yeah, you know, maybe I'll be able to sleep tonight. And you're like, I'm sure you'll figure it out. Peace. And, like, walk down.

I said. I said, hey, you know what? I think it'll make you feel better if I ate my rice off your nose.

Oh, yeah. He's getting his rice ready, and I'm like, telling him how I don't feel good. My ears are burning, my throat's burning. And he basically told me he wants to lick my nipples.

No, I didn't. I said, I want to eat my rice off your nipples.

So at that point, I was like, gross. It wasn't playful anymore. It wasn't.

You were the one that started with your pants. Take your pants off.

So, like, I was like, flirty, but.

Then I was like.

And then I was like, hey, I really don't feel good. And that was your response. I was like, yeah, you know, that snoring really kept me up. And you're like, maybe you should get out of my bed. And I was like, what the?

Like, yeah, you didn't say what the. You looked at me sad.

And then you said, I didn't say anything because I was like, he's just in his pumped up mode. He's had his workout. But what. What made me say something after is as you're skipping Off. I'm like, yeah. You know, from you snoring and me being awake all night, not feeling good, I just, you know, I'm just, I'm dragging this morning. And that's when you said.

I said, oh, I'm. You're a champion. I'm sure you'll figure out how to handle it.

Yeah. And then just skipped off and did some spirit fingers.

And I was like, number one, super gay. Did no spirit.

But you literally were like practically skipping this morning.

You're like skipping still gay. And probably was doing a little bit of that.

So anyways, I. I was like, oh, man. And then I was like, should I say anything about this? And so I had to tell him. I was like, hey, just wanted to bring it to your attention, not taking it personal, but I'm not. I'm feeling like shit. And your responses were not great. And you basically were like, oh, man. I realized that, like, I was totally in like, bro mode. And I was like, I'm your wife and I'm sick. And it was cute and fun for like half a second. And then when you left, I was like, that was the weirdest 10 minute exchange ever.

You needed some love, you needed a hug, you needed some chicken broth.

But normally I've been. I don't experience if I'm in pain or if I'm.

You don't share.

I don't share. I'm always like, just, you're the strong one, Danielle. Like, and so I've been trying to share more. So the fact that, like, that was the response. I was like, oh.

And I told, I told Stephen, I said, I'm so used to not having my wife emotionally share what's going on with her.

Even think when I was pregnant I was like freaking dying.

You were dying. You would still act like you were just fine. Little did I know you thought you were dying. Every night going to bed, I had no idea. So I got. I've been used to not having that. So when you are trying to do it, I didn't even get the signs. I was like, yeah, whatever, champ, you're fine. You found her natural beat of rose. Fucking figure it out. Okay, cool. See you. Therapy. And I'm like, all right, well, that's into the show, so we're gonna. You'll know next week whether or not we took any of our kids. Maybe we'll drop all five and just say, hey, forget it. You're. None of you coming. It's. My mom and I are having a good trip. See ya.

That actually crossed My mind too. That was so fun.

We'll take all the kids. It'll be fun. Except for the littlest two. Actually, it'd be fun to go to Disneyland with Isla. She'd have fun. Isla's in good stage. Isaac can relax and be good. She can even fall asleep with the dollars. Charlie's a nightmare and she's not feeling good. That's gonna be rough. I'm telling you, it's gonna be a nightmare. It's gonna ruin the experience for everyone.

Side.

When she wakes up, what is she gonna remember? Nothing. They'll say, do you remember when did this one? When you were one and a half years old. And she'll say, no.

But then when we're going up on stage, who's responsible for I like and.

Just come with us, okay? I'll be fine. She's old enough and mature enough to be miked up and stick right by Parker, right by Bailey, right byla.

Yeah.

Or she's good enough. Charlie is the nightmare. Charlie would take one of the caps off a microphone and choke on it backstage in front of everybody.

She won't. She won't say.

She'll be out on stage and she'll be looking at everyone and she'll end up seeing a fuzz on the floor and pick it up and try to eat it.

Yeah, that's true. I'll be all having anxiety and I'll have a little one year old and I'll be like, where's. Where's Charlie?

Plus Bree's gonna have to run around with her. Plus watch islet the same time.

That'll be hard.

Let's go one on one. We know what we need to do.

All right. Thanks for tuning in.

Thanks for listening to us figure out how we do life. That's how we do it right there. Just sometimes when life is rough, you just got to get rid of a kid. Hey guys. Hey. Listen. We got an experience happening every single week called the date your wife experience. It's actually this real, but I want you to imagine this real talk with a hundred couples all learning to live the worries way but men and women coming together as couples with our therapists, myself and Danielle and a bunch of power couples together to work on this different specific issues in our marriages every single week to learn more about the date your wife experience which has been exclusive at this point. Part of just my mastermind programs for our guys. But we are going to open it up October to everyone if you'd like to come participate and make a small investment monthly to Come taste it and see if it works for you, if it gives you value to your family, and if it can help you in your marriage. You can check that out@dateyourwife.com on top of that, too. Well, we have the real White House reality show. Episode two is coming out, and we're excited for that, actually.

By the time they get to this specific podcast, episode two will be out perfectly.

And then every week from there on out, the month of October, we'll get a new episode every week of the real White House coming out, showing our family and giving you kind of a deeper experience of what we do here at date your wife. And that's it. So real White House, Check it out. Date your wife experience, founded dateyourwife.com and all of this, of course, brought to you by wake up Warrior, the number one training company in the world for married businessmen with children who want to have it all. Do you want to see my routine? I'll show you my lats.

This is a story, kids. At least three times a day.

Four weeks usually.

I'm like, boy, do I ever.

Four weeks. Well, you're gonna get to see my lats tonight.

You're looking good.

If you're lucky. This diet's on, and I'm in the cut, and it's intense.

It's fun, huh?

It's a little weird. I'm starting to get into kind of superhuman feel.

No, it's like when you're foggy, but you're like, but look how good I look. You start cutting carbs, and when you see results, you're like, but who cares if you're starving? Have you seen my obliques? Exactly.

All right, we're out. See you next week.