Marriage, Miami & The Easy Button: How We Rebuilt Love After Hitting Rock Bottom

Hello, and officially welcome to the date your wife podcast here in Miami. Garrett and I started this podcast probably six years ago, and it keeps growing. It keeps growing. It keeps growing. We were inconsistent for a while, and the last year, we've been very consistent, and we've had a lot of really cool guests on the show, but today it's just me and Mr. Make America Great again.

Hey, I. You know what I'm excited about being in Miami is the following. Don't care if you're Jewish, Christian, Muslim, black, white, Latino. It seems to be the three races here. Israeli with a lot of those. And everybody loves my Trump shirts.

Everyone loves you.

Young people. All races, everyone. Same thing. Oh, my God. Love that. The one comment they had to me is, did you have a hard time wearing that shirt in California? I was like, I didn't have a hard time wearing that shirt in California, but half the people hated me for wearing it in California.

Not as bad in Orange county, though.

Was bad. There was still the look, though. Even in Orange county, there was, like, the look. Like, the.

Well, people were like, I support this, but I can't say anything.

I undercover. I'm an undercover jump man. Florida, not the case. So we're here. And in token celebration of being here in Miami, my wife, for Christmas purchased me a David Urman mini. Cuban. Yeah, it looks like. It looks like a Cuban. It's not Cuban.

That's why I felt like it looked like it. Like, I was like, this looks like Miami style. And I got a Super bowl ring for being married for 21 years.

You did get a Super bowl ring, and then you thought it was too big.

I mean, you got to get used to this kind of carrot. You do. It's not a daily. It's not a daily driver.

And so we had some young, Young people see this ring, and they're, like, feeling all kinds of pressure and like. Like judging themselves. I'm like, Kate, you're 24. Yeah, we've been married for 21 years. We've been together for 23 years. We have been entrepreneurs for over two decades. We have had five children. We are pushing the limits to the game. You deserve it. But it wasn't just the ring. The rock is massive. But it wasn't just, like.

Just like a rebirth. You know what was interesting?

Are you asking that as a question?

Yeah.

Why are you asking as a question? You know the answer to this?

Well, here's. You hear it all the time. Like, we went to church yesterday, and they're like, you have to be reborn and people are like, what is this? And it's like, you have to let this old version of you die. You're not actually physically dying, but you're. You have this whole other level to who your spirit can become. And it's funny because it's always talked about as individuals, like, oh, you need to be rebirthed. There's a concept too. Or, can you be rebirthed as a couple? And it's one of those things, like, Garrett and I feel like we have pulled off, like, an anomaly. Like, we. We pulled off something that not a lot of married couples do, which is like, we went through crappy times and, like, a lot of shit happened. And instead of, like, cheating or getting divorced or all these things, like, we almost, like, reborn our marriage. And so instead of, like, yeah, we were reborn individually, but we literally, like, our marriage went from like, we had two kids, figured things out, and then it was almost like we spiritually got divorced.

Yep.

Got back together, reborn and rebuilt the life in the marriage that you see today. And that's why we're passionate about sharing our story, good, bad, and ugly. Because so many times people don't want to talk about what's going on. It's like, they're like, oh, I can't talk about religion, I can't talk about politics. Oh, you can't. Don't air your dirty laundry. And it's like, the crazy thing is so many couples are going through all the same shit and nobody wants to talk about it. And that's why you're seeing divorces, that's why you're seeing cheating, and that's why you're seeing all these things. So we kind of started this podcast to be like, hey, we're not perfect. We're not claiming to be marriage coaches, but we're gonna talk about what we're going through while we're going through it.

And we're doing it real time. And I think that's the piece everybody wants to talk about their dark shit from, like, 10 years ago. I just wanna talk about my dark shit from last night.

Oh, yeah. I mean, God. What? That's the thing. It's like, we'll be doing really good and then we'll have a moment. And I'm like, really?

But things have changed with these moments. Because I had a moment.

Get over em quicker.

I had a moment last night. I'm just gonna put myself out there. We're gonna put myself on the altar and allow myself to be slaughtered. The moment. Listen, every man knows that there's this One thing about his wife that just drives him fucking insane. You have your fucking insane moment. It's. It's, ah. When you're in power, you're grounded. You just don't. You. You brush it off. You're like, I don't care. Whatever. She said, she's hot. Great breasts. I'd like those later, so you don't say stupid shit. But then you have your moments where it's been too much. And for two straight days, I had a toddler who was doing everything in her mind to do defiant behavior, including calling you a bitch to your face and throwing a backpack at you.

She's five and she's like, it's. Everything's new. So she's been very.

She's very new. She learned how to flip the bird last week.

Like, she doesn't know how to feel, so she's just wild.

Oh, she knows how to feel. She knows how to feel the whole range of emotions. So I was demonstrating deep, like, guru level, guru level, patience, even my goodbyes. Jeremy Finlay was with us for two days, staying at the house, and he's like, I have a whole new level of respect for you as a man. Like, I don't know how you do it in this house with all these women. It's all women. It's like nannies and it's cleaners and it's your daughters and it's your wife, and it's so many women. I was like, you're no fucking kidding, dude, I'm serious. And I'm on testosterone, which means my balls have shrunk quite a bit. So it's like, I'm really up against a huge battle.

Are you?

I'm patient, patient, patient, patient, patient, patient. And then last night, you had to go off and ask the ultimate.

It's like, dig of a question. A dig of a question.

Yeah. Here it is. When I put baskets in your bathroom and in the closet, can you put your clothes in them? That was all she said. And that's pretty aggressive. So what did I say? I lost my shit. I lost my every.

And.

Okay. And I looked at her, I was like, are you fucking kidding me right now? Again, it wasn't the comment, but it was the straw that broke the father's back.

Well, I knew that. I knew that because what's so crazy is, like, I had been. Sundays, I like to do the laundry and that kind of thing. And it kind of hit me, like, earlier in the morning, I was like, dude, I put these baskets here. Just put the clothes, carried all the.

Baskets down, though, I carried all five of the business.

What I'm realizing, guys, I was like, gosh, I thought I was making it easier. And so when I was like, should I mention it? Because it's really not a big deal, but I'm going to mention it. So my timing might have been poor because it was at the end of the day and you just gotten some bad news from a team employee, but I was like, in the laundry room cleaning stuff up anyway, so I was like, I'm just going to ask. I'm just going to like, hey. I felt like my tone was good.

She said it really rude.

I was like, hey.

It was like this.

I was like, again, hey, I put these brand new baskets in your bathroom and in your closet. Do you think you could just put your clothes in the basket?

Can you hear that tone? What kind of woman talks to a man like that? You don't talk to a man like that with that kind of tone.

So then he's like, this is his response.

What did I say? I don't remember. I just remember I got angry. My eyes turned red.

You go, I put him in a couple times a week. I go, but maybe could you do it, like, daily? And you go, he looks me dead in the eye. Go, no, I'll do it a couple times a week when I feel like it. And I was like. I was like. I literally was like, he's not in his good place right now. So then I'm like, really?

I was like, don't tell me how to do that.

Like, you're being petty. Are you really being petty about this? This is petty. And I was like, I just really don't. I just want the clothes in the basket. I, I. And then you, like, kept coming at me, and I was like, I'm gonna go upstairs now. And the. And he's like, don't walk away from this. I'm like, this isn't even a serious.

We are in a serious conversation right now about the laundry.

And I was like, here's. Here's the crazy thing, though. There are stupid times where, especially if we both had a cocktail, that I will dig in and be like, fuck you. And I was like, he's not in his right mind. He just got this news. I didn't even take it personal because you had just gotten some news. And I was like, okay, probably poor timing, but I'm not going to allow myself now to get triggered and. And riled up. And so sometimes as a woman, that's why I'm like, I'm going to walk away. He's not in his right mind. And it's not because I'm trying to ignore him. It's not because I'm trying to wall up. But sometimes it's like, I'm going to just give him space. And then even this morning, like, you came back, you're like, hey, don't. I don't know why I got so mad. I don't know why I flipped my lid.

I don't know.

And I'm like, I know why you flipped your lid. You were stressed with the. I knew. So I didn't take it personal, but I didn't want to be reactive and say something stupid. And then we both wake up and we're like, God, how did that snowball? And we've had that happen. We wake up like, how did that snowball that happen?

So I'm like. And then we would get angry, then you would yell, then I would y. More, then you would yell, then I would yell louder. And then you. I would end up sleeping in the guest room.

And then you literally are like, did we just, like, literally a bomb went off because I just asked you to put your clothes in a basket. And so it's so, it's so human that when it happens, I'm like, really? But it, I mean, every once in a while it does happen and I just have to. Now I've gotten to this place where I'm just like, I'm not going to dwell on this. Like, I could be super irritated and be like, I just want the clothes in the basket and like, be bitter and. And wall up and let that, like, carry through you. I woke up to a text like, I love you, I'm sorry I don' happened. And it was just simple. It wasn't like bringing up other stuff. It was like, I don't know why I reacted that way. And I knew too that you were in a great space because even our five year old, you were like, putting her to bed. And I was like, I think he's yelling at her five year old for no reason. And so let me tell you what.

Went down, because Danielle's comment was so aggressive and so rude and still personally attacking. How dare you ask the king to clean up his clothes off the floor. We have people for that.

So this is what drives me nuts about producing men.

You're like, why would I do it if I got people to do it?

Yeah, but guess we do have.

I'm creating jobs, but do you know I'm creating a job. Put In a basket. I take away opportunities like washing my own cars. Why would I wash my cars? Mow my lawn, clean my pool. If I go out and clean the pool, guy doesn't have a job. If I wash my car, his washcar guy doesn't have a job. But here's how I see John goes as business.

Here's how I looked at it when you. I didn't. Your response when you're like. When I'm like, well, do you think you could put them in the basket? And you're like, oh, yeah, every other day when I want to. And I was like, at least you.

Knew where I was.

No, I was like, at least you knew. I felt, like, almost like a little bit disrespected in the sense. I was like, lack of appreciation for what I'm doing as a wife. Like, imagine if you're talking about you're producing, like, well, could you produce even, like, da, da, da, da. Like, when, like, it's like. It was like a lack.

That's what you do.

Well, I do.

But that was a bad example. That was a fucking horrible example.

I do ask you to produce.

Imagine if you were a producing man, and then I expected you to produce.

I do.

Wait a second. I do do that. Try again. Option B.

But my. My point being in that was like. I just was like, God, like, why can't. I was like, why don't you just say the simple answer, yeah, babe, I'll put my clothes in the.

It would have been way easier.

And I would have been like, thank you. Love you. And then I would have been like, oh, he noticed I did the laundry.

No, I could have been better. If I want to get laid last night, which I didn't. If I want to get laid last night.

See, that's a problem. Does. Just because you don't want to get laid, does that mean you can be a dick?

No, no, no. But see, the higher level of the game is I love my wife and love her soul. The lower level is I have a penis. So, like, these two things exist.

That's why women have to hold out.

Because if you're satisfied, and then there's my desire to be in your.

Here's okay. This is real, though. We. If I have noticed, if you get sex a lot.

Yeah.

There are times that you're like, I don't need it tonight. Therefore, I don't have to show up.

No, that's not true.

That is true.

Give me anything.

So that's why women have to withhold a little bit.

Oh, My God, when. When have I acted like that?

Like. Yeah, I can tell. When, like the last night.

Last night was on one of those times.

Okay, I'm sorry. Even on Friday night, I had to wake you up. Yeah, you were right.

But it was good. It was good for you.

You liked it when you woke up. What I'm saying is you were an asshole last night. I forgive you, and I need you to put your clothes in the baskets.

And the higher level answer would have been this, Babe, I'm sorry, that's. You know what? That's unacceptable. I'll make sure I do better with.

That kind of give me kiss.

Thank you so much for doing that today.

Then I'd have been like, shit, I gotta have sex with.

You're amazing. Oh, you don't gotta nothing. Don't pretend the gotta thing. That's like a dude. Here's my wife. She's my better half. Because I'm just a worthless piece of shit that my wife decided to pick him off the ground. I hate it when guys do that. Here's my better half. That's bullshit. Some of the better half. Other half, I know. And I used to be a huge pussy with all that shit.

No, I do. I think there's a balance, though. Like, if you're constantly putting your significant other on a pedestal, it's almost like you're like, dude, you're devaluing yourself. Well, yeah, you're like, you're awesome too.

So look at it this way. Like when a dude says, yeah. Or a guy will be like, oh, yeah, bro, you married way outside your league.

I hate when people say that contrast that.

That means a chick. Settled.

Yeah.

You're like, don't even take that comment. Yeah, yeah, dude, I'm just a good closer. I closed her because, like, you know, she's way out of my league. I'm like, okay, bro, you just said that you are a worthless pile of seven and you manage yourself at ten. Congratulations, great sales. But it still says you're a shit.

Yeah. Even if. Even if your wife's, like, smoking hot, you shouldn't say that.

No. Bad. What if she's not smoking hot? Can you say that?

Yeah.

Hey, I definitely played down on this one.

We can say that.

You know what's interesting in Latino culture that's funny is, like, if you're with your girl, they call her, and she's. She's overweight and she's got a little extra cushion or pushing, they'll introduce you at times. Not all Latin cultures do this. Mexican culture does this a lot, which is like, oye, aquij migorda. It's like, here's my.

Isn't me. Here's my fatty.

Well translated in English, like, hey, I want to introduce you my fatty. That's what it is in English, but in Spanish, it sounds a lot nicer in English, it's like, it doesn't come across the same. Like, if I walked up and I was like. And you were fat, and I was like, hey, this is my wife. Hey, I want you to meet my fatty.

Oh, yeah.

That's literally the English translation is what it is. Spanish just sounds totally different. It sounds way better in Spanish.

Can you introduce me? Like, that'll be funny.

Okay.

I'm not fatty at all.

Esme chicka tika aki.

Ay. What does that mean?

That just means my little Chiclet, my little tiny person.

My little Chiclet. Yeah, that's cute. I like that.

Cool.

So we're in Miami. Here we are.

And I'm going to talk more about this. We went to an amazing new church called Vu Vu Vo. Is it vogue? It's not vogue.

It's not vogue.

It's V O U. V O U s. Vous vows.

Vos vows. It sounds. It looks like vows.

That's good that we don't even know how to say the same name of the church. But Pastor Rick, who's the main pastor there, he was awesome.

Yeah.

And he was talking about darkness Yesterday, which was really, really cool because he was saying all this stuff that, like, we fundamentally, deeply subscribe to. And the one thing that he warned. Here's the crazy part. He warned in service yesterday. I didn't catch it. Obviously. He made a comment about fighting in the dark.

Yeah.

Remember this? He said, nothing good happens when you try to fight in the dark. Which is. It's past like 6 or 7, 8 o'. Clock.

That's true.

How many times we fight at 12 noon?

You know what's interesting, too? Whenever we fight at night, I never sleep good. Even though I'm like, I was just being a dick. Like, I kind of toss and turn and I just. I'm like, I hate falling asleep with that feeling.

I'm gonna be straight with you.

You sleep like a rock.

I don't have any problems sleeping.

No. But I'm women we like, if we're stressed, like, we have a hard time sleeping.

Here's the deal. I get laid, I sleep well. I don't get laid, I sleep well. I get a fight, I sleep well. I don't get a fight. I sleep well.

That's why you're like, why are you spending an extra three hours? And I'm like, because. By toddlers.

And do you know why I sleep well?

Because you like the whiskey.

Because I don't stay in bed till 8.

Okay. I knew you're gonna go there.

That's why. Because I wake up at three.

You sleep so hard, you quantity time beds. Yeah, I have to go to sleep. I like quality bedtime sleep watches.

Why? What would you do with it? Just so you see. You got a bed at 8 o'. Clock.

No, to see. I don't go to bed 8. So you can see like your realm sleep. Like there's different levels of sleep.

Is this a new thing?

Yeah, there's like your dream sleep. There's like your realm sleep. Yeah, look it up.

Okay, we need chatgpt to help you out right now. There's no such thing as realm sleep. That's called psychedelics.

No, I'm in the realm right now.

I'm like, literally the kid, I mean, is just hit. I'm so fucking. I'm in. I'm in the sleep realm right now.

You're 100 different levels of sleep sleep patterns.

It's not called realm. It's called rem.

Oh, rem.

REM sleep. But realm sleep is, is cute. I mean, we could, we could get high as right now and go to realm sleep together.

I'm not making a dick.

I'm not being a dick.

You're being a little bit of a dick.

You're not even on your mic if I can't hear you say that.

I was. Well, you know what I mean. Like, I know.

I knew what you mean.

I'm helping you out a different REM.

Sleep, not a girl.

I don't. I. I sleep mostly in like the dream sleep. And then I get like two hours of the REM sleep. Not to be confused with.

Well, that's why you want to do the watch so you can see.

Yeah, because I literally like, I'm like, yeah, I agree. I probably am in bed like nine hours. I'm like. But I think I sleep maybe six broken up hours. And I will tell you, if you have toddlers, it is as bad as having newborns because we have a three year old and a five year old and like our other two girls, we have two older daughters, they were four years apart, so it was like we like, we went through the same. All toddlers climbing your bed.

I think we're getting another night and.

You'Re Like, I have two choices. Should I keep walking them back to their bed or am I just too tired and I don't care? The kicker on this, the problem. And all parents can relate with this. When you're like, I don't care anymore. I'm not going to keep walking them back to their bed. They will kick you all night long. So either way, you don't sleep. So you choose. You choose your hard.

You know what it is in our house too.

We have a five year old and a three year old and a guy that snores. And he's like, babe, I don't know why you're in bed for nine hours. And I'm like, oh, my God. Like, it's literally. We had a night nanny for our fourth baby. I slept.

Rhythmic therapy.

So I got a snore. Oh, and I have a Yorkie that sleeps with us. I have a dog, two toddlers and a snoring husband.

You're lucky.

Yeah. So he always makes fun of me and is like, you don't get out of bed till nine.

I'm like, you're so lucky. I mean, seriously, to count your blessings, that's like four serious blessings. A tiny dog that's the size of a guinea pig.

I actually wake up every morning and my. My daughter, like, her cute little face is in my. In like a zombie. And she's like, I love you, mommy. And I'm just like, this isn't gonna last forever. So I'm just gonna submit to not having sleep for a few more years and then I'll be fine.

Yeah. Because within two hours she says, I hate you, dad. You're the worst.

But it's really cute in the morning. It's really cute in the morning.

So it just changes with the wind.

So what do you think about Miami?

I love Miami. I think Miami is like exactly where we need to be. Miami is not Orange County.

It is not.

Not at all. Like, there's Orange county and Orange county is a vibe. Like, we loved Orange County. We lived in Orange County 12 years and we were in Arizona. So going from Arizona to Orange county was like, whoa. And then going from Orange county to Miami was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's like a triple whoa.

Yeah.

That's why there were some friends of ours who were living in Wisconsin and they want to move to Miami. And they went from like this 4000 person town to come to Miami with us. I was like, bro, I don't know if you can handle this is like going from never drinking to nine shots. Of Costa glasses. Oh, you're done. You're going to dead night on the floor. Maybe even throw up. You should go to Orange county first. So they did. Yeah, they're in Orange County. Barber stuff in Orange County. Moved From a little 4,000 town in Wisconsin, Mark and Mark and Kendra Jennison, and they built their. Took over the Warrior hq. I think, like, crushing it.

I will say, like, when we first moved to Kennedy, California, something about living on the water feels like a rebirth. Like, once you live on the water, you're like, I could never live anywhere else. So for us, we had lived in Vegas and in Utah, and it was just in Arizona, and we just wanted to be on the water. So for us and so many couples that I see in families that move to Orange county or anywhere there's, like, beach property, it's just like, oh, like the. The water has energy. It's a vibe. It's not even necessarily the city. It's like, to me, it just symbolized, like, freedom. Like, we had gone through so much, you know, being raised the way. The way we were and like, the different patterns and the different cultures and things like that inside of ut, Utah, to where it. It felt like a rebirth as a couple. And that's when I started the show that I was talking about. I was like, this is our second rebirth. Rebirth as a couple and as a family. And I think that's. That's what's. What's so cool about it. And. And California was great because of the water. And so I wouldn't. New couples go there. I'm like, I know that feeling. You're about to be reborn again as a family, as a unit, as an. As a couple. And I even feel that here in Miami, just like, in the connections that we've had and the openness that we've had. And I don't know about you, but it's weird. Since we have moved, I notice a more openness in my. Myself. Like, I'm more friendly. I'm more like, yeah, invite people over. Let's go talk. Let's go to these. These networking events. Let's go to this.

And.

And it's. It's been fun to experience because last year, in 2024, you know, the biggest thing that I felt like God told me was like, you need to share your light. And I was like, okay. And I didn't know what that meant, so I kind of revamped my podcast and all that stuff, and I was like, what do you mean, I need to share my light? I Am like. But I realized, like, we. Everybody needs to share their light. But I was like, we need to expand and grow and socialize and network and do. We need to show people and what we've overcome and what we've built?

Do you know why Miami's awesome? Because there's less. I'm gonna say something a little controversial. White people, I think. No, I'm serious. Listen to me. Hear me out.

I think there's more culture.

Orange county, white people have, like, they have a different vibe, but it's like a very. It's different. Like on the coast from down to Corona del Mar to Laguna beach to Dana Point to San Clemente. Like, that whole lineup, cool people. Cool people. Don't get me wrong. Cool people. But you got, like, no divers. Diversity.

Yeah. It's like you don't have diversity or culture. Yeah.

Then we'll come to Miami, and for the first time in my entire life, I'm a minority.

You know what I like?

I love it. I like it. I like it.

You know what I like? I really.

I enjoy being a minority. I like it.

I like it, too, because I feel like every. Like, in Orange county, everybody's got their bubbles, right?

Yeah.

And their cliques and their people. And. And it's like here, it's a lot.

Of carbon copy white people.

Yeah. And nobody cares like you.

They don't connect.

You would think coming here, you'd just be like, oh, my gosh. It's so much drama. It's actually less drama being in a bigger city because everybody's doing their own shit.

And also, look at this Latin culture. Let's face it, it's awesome. It's just awesome. They have more fun. They're more about family. They have more fun. They like to party when they party. And they do the thing. We see it all day long on the yachts. They have a great time. And they're less. There's less sense of, like, ah. Like, I need to impress people.

I definitely feel like we fit in.

And do their thing. And they're like, we are Latinos. We are pura. Like, they just. And then you got black culture, which is kind of the same way, just a different vibe. And then you got uptight orange candy white people, which we were around a ton and just being. That's why I would never. Hard. Like, it was hard.

It was just more dry. It's hard. Like, everybody knew. It felt like everybody knew. Everybody knew. Everybody kind of thing. It didn't feel.

But they didn't really know anybody that was the problem, it was like there was so much. There's a lot of. There just was a less genuine connection. I think a lot of that has to do with just state of California. But also at the same token, there was just. And we ran with people who were amazing in Orange County. So it's only wrong by saying that everyone. Orange county was that way. I'm just saying, like, the inner. If you were to compare and contrast the two cities, what's the big difference? No racial diversity. Massive racial diversity, number one. Number two, you have a lot of people who were. Who might be. Or second generation, first generation Americans. So they're bringing a lot of this glorious desire for freedom. Like, it's like. Like freedom. And like the Cubans, the Colombians, like the Dominicans, like, everybody meeting, like, they're just. There's a sense of like, I want to be free. I love freedom. There's American flags everywhere. There's flags on the boats, there's flags down the roads.

There's a lot of gratitude.

And there is. There's a lot of just pride in the country. Pride in the freedom of the country. Even the network events we go to. No, in Orange county, every network event went to. Everybody had cell phones out 24 7, taking pictures, doing videos. Here we go out people who are big names. Nobody's taking their cell phones out. They're just like talking and connecting. They're not trying to tag everybody. They're just like, they're being in this place. And here's the other piece. In Orange county, you would hear it once in a while, the conversation of God. Here I hear it every. Oh, nearly every conversation, whether it's with the Jewish people, the Christian people, or people who are neither above. I haven't met too many Muslims here, but, like, the Jewish. Our whole neighborhood is Jewish people. Got this house from Jewish. They're so nice. They're amazing. That was like, one we came up and, like, was all passionately talking to us yesterday.

Yeah, they're very amazing. Gave us prayer cards for a flight, whatever it is. He knew I couldn't read them, but.

I was like, very grateful she gave them to me. I was like, I can't read it. She's like, it's okay. Just phonetically read it. It will work.

I'm like, okay, everyone's a passionate missionary.

It's crazy, but. And then also the piece is, there's this desire to grow. And this seems to be this. And it's not, again, that it doesn't exist in Orange County. It's that the number of people who are in that energy here is significantly higher. And I also think that there's a lot of money in Orange county that's kind of established.

Yeah.

And so people are kind of in the yeah mode.

Well, it's like they've built all their.

Now they're like, it's kind of a little here. People are like, let's build more.

Yeah.

Like Grant Cardone, perfect example. Our mentors. Like, we already got billions. Let's get more billions. Let's build more things. Let's take over the world. That's. There's just an energy of. Everything is 10x, which is kind of.

I think. I think it kind of pushes you, though, like, the. The energy, like, because where we were, it just felt like you were saying. It just felt even like the people that were billionaires or whatever, they didn't aspire to do anymore. They're like, I get to settle in and I'm here, and this is great.

Walk the dog today.

Yeah. And that's not really what this life is about. Like, the money is going to come, but you were always meant to not be comfortable. We're always meant to push past it. And I even told Garrett when we were moving, I'm like, it's not about the house. Our house in Orange county was amazing because people are like, why'd you move? And I'm like, because it can't always be about the house. If it's about the house and the retirement and settling in, you're going to be depressed and miserable because that's not what this life is about.

And you just be a dick to everyone we know. We know a few dicks to everyone.

But that's the thing is, like, when I got.

Listen, show you know who you are.

When I got that, it was like, it's. It's easy to let go. It's not necessarily mine. It's a privilege. It's a perk of, like, what we've done in this life, but it's not mine. And if you become attached to it, that's when you're actually going to become a slave to the checklist of, like, I made it. There's no such thing as I've made it. It.

So we have. We have made the move, and we also took on some big commitments.

What is our commitment? Oh, we got lots of commitments.

We got a lot of commitments we've made. I feel like more commitments than we probably ever made.

Yeah.

Bigger commitments than we've ever made.

What's yours?

Super bowl ring that was the biggest piece of joy I've ever gotten you. I was at put a car in your hand. On top of this, though, what was interesting was we made the decision to have Grant and Elena Cardone and Brandon, Natalie Dawson become our mentors. That was significant. That was a significant decision because of the time commitment and also like the financial commitment that we were making. And just like our decision, the new offices in the 10x center, 8,000 square feet on the fifth floor. Like, all the things we're building out, like, all the commitments. And it's like there's this pocket of momentum that we're in that I feel like we've worked towards for well over a decade. And like now the window opened and all the lights went green. It's like going to the gym to elevation in the morning. It's so fast from the house. Like 11 minutes. On the way back, 25 minutes. But on the way there, it's like 11 because there's just straight green lights or it's like yellow blinking lights and you're just straight to the gym. That's why I go at 5am which is also odd that I go past two strip clubs and there's people still the strip Club at 4:48 in the morning while I'm going to the gym. It's always a weird thought I'm driving past. I'm like, dudes are getting lap dances right now and I'm about to go work my lats. Super weird every morning. I'm like, dude, dudes are still at the fucking strip club right now. But whatever. So there's this piece of us that committed to go 10x and we got around two environments, got to hang out with Andy and Jacqueline Elliot at their place out in Arizona and their facility and their teams. So inspiring, so inspired by those two. And was fun to hear the backstory of how Elliott army began. And they came on our podcast and to realize that Warrior and what I've done inspired Andy to launch Elliott Army. Like, he started five years ago, was in car sales before that, and it was my videos and Warrior content that he on hit the file. He said he, like, I couldn't figure out how to buy from you. He's like, but then we just duplicated what I saw you doing. I was like, holy. I can just cuss and yell and do my thing and blow torches and yell and do workouts. He's like, you were the guy I wanted to follow. So when I got there and got to meet all of his guys, went to church with, like, 150 of his guys and their wives. And like it was nothing but gratitude. So that. And I was inspired by the standard. And he legitimately, when he says, you see videos him online and he's like, if you're. If you don't have a six pack in 90 days in my club, my company are fired. He's not fucking kidding you.

That's a lot of pressure.

There's not one man or woman in their organization that's not lean and shredded or jacked and juicy.

Jacked and juicy.

Jacked and juicy. Just jacked and juicy. You know what I'm saying? You might have a little four pack going on, but you're jacked and just.

Like women got lean and mean.

42 pack down the same, you know, like, that's a different. But his whole organization hold a standard. Go to Cardone. People were like, why aren't it us? Why do the cardones have a bad reputation for employment in Miami? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you're like. And then I get into 10x and I'm in and around the environment. You find out real quickly why Standard. They have a standard. You don't hit the standard, you're fired, Period. Natalie just fired someone on her team a few days ago. One of the bigger people on their team fired him because he was have. The person was having an affair and she found out about it and fired him on the spot. And it was controversial in the organization. She's like, no, no, no. We have standards around here. If you're gonna cheat on your wife, you're gonna cheat.

What else are you gonna do? Yeah, exactly.

So you're gone. Bye, bye. Out the door. So we're just surrounding ourselves with people who are like, you can be who you want to be, but here's our standard. Here's our standard. Yeah, this is the standard here. And the minute I saw that, I was like, I was inspired again by both Grant and Elena, Brandon, Natalie, Andy and Jacqueline for just the standards that they're holding for their organizations, which is great because I feel like we've held a huge standard for my clients.

But then it falls apart in your team.

I've not had as high a standard for my team.

I think it's hard though, like myself, I mean, I let go of my entire team this last year. It wasn't huge, but there was like 15 of us. And I was like, you know what? But it was almost. You're right. It was like they weren't living the warriors way. There was no standard. And it was like, you kind of let that slip because you're like, oh, I don't want them to. They need to work really, really hard. So then they let go of things in their personal life and their relationships, their body, and then you're like, wait, that's going to affect how they're producing for me inside of my team. And so it's not just like a standard of, like, producing, but it's. It's a. It's a life standard. It's. It's how you carry yourself. It's your body being balanced, all of that.

That.

Your relationships with people. You let that slide in your company, you better believe they're getting sloppy in your body, in their body. They're going to get sloppy on the team. And we've seen it.

We watched it happen predictably. Like, and you can see the signs on the outside of it. And 100 of the time that's happened, there's the problems come. So. But the same thing goes inside the house with the family and the kids. It's like, there's like a standard that has to be set. But here's the crazy thing about standards. Like, I can't. You can't force me to do anything right, Ever. Even with sex. Like, if I decide I'm not gonna do it, I don't care. I have a switch in my brain as a dude. I'll switch off the sex button. Don't care. Like, I don't. Done. Don't care. So this thing inside, and you have the same thing. You have the same switch. You're just like, I don't care. No, I'm not doing that. It's like, psychedelics. I was like, come on, let's go. And you're like, no. I was like, tattoos? No. It's like, no. There's no negotiating this with you. You're like, I'm never doing psychedelics. I'm not getting tattoos. I'm not doing.

I'm like, it doesn't even tempt me.

Exactly. And I'm over here going, come on, you can do this. Let's go.

I'm like, no, I got standards, babe.

Exactly. Your standards are for you, right? But having a standard for you makes you immovable. So when you have an individual man who has standards and you have a woman who has standards, now comes the rub. This is where the rub comes. And the rub's crazy because you can't have standards outside in the family, and you can't have standards in the business. You can't have standards in Your neighborhood and standards in your church if the standard in you is weak. But two powerful people in marriage who have standards for themselves. I have my standards. Like, I'm not laying in bed till 8 o'. Clock.

That's not a standard.

It's your standard. It's not my standard. I can't do it.

I'm not waking up at three in the morning because that's the middle of the night and that's silly.

Exactly.

I know I'm gonna fall asleep at 6pm Exactly.

So, but we got. So, but we came to terms with that. I wake up at three, that's it. That's what I do. That's my standard. I wake up, I read the Bible for an hour, I do my Bible stack, I do my prayer stack, I head to the gym, I work out with the boys, I come back, I do a few standup calls with my sales teams, marketing teams, my executive teams, and then out come the kids. And I see the children. And then outcome you later and there you are. And then you go do your workout and you have your routines and patterns. So it's learning how to be okay with the fact that your standard and your habits, your game is different than yourself.

Let me ask you this then, because, so you can say that's your standard. But in the end, like, if you're like, I'm very fit, like, I look great for my age. So if I was like super overweight, you'd be mad that I was waking up at 8. You'd be like, get your ass out of bed. So then you have to ask yourself, if I wake up at eight, but I still hit my list. Does that matter?

Well, we've already talked about it. This is very simple. If you got obese, we would be done.

That's, that's, that's rough.

And if I got broke and couldn't make money and couldn't provide, you would leave.

Also if you're obese, I don't think I could hang with that.

But what I'm saying is that, that's, that this is a reality. Because if I am a guy who won't go get a job and I.

Won'T get a job, my point was just saying, like, if I still have the results, then you can't really, like, for sure.

Well, now we're dealing with different method and approach, right? So. But if I was a guy who sat around, smoke weed every day and played Call of Duty and I didn't fucking make any money and I was like, babe, go provide for us, us.

But what if he makes a lot of money?

If he makes a lot of money.

Can he still take that?

Did he. Is he a billionaire and then he's like retired to Call of Duty Marijuana life. I have a hard time believing that. I don't know. One billionaire is retired to the couch.

I just have to bring it back.

I don't know. One billionaire plays video games.

I'm a mom of four.

Okay.

And I run my businesses.

Yes.

And I have a four pack year round.

You look amazing.

So you can't, you can't, you can't keep harping on me for being in bed till 8:00am no, no, no.

I'm just, I'm just saying reality.

Okay.

It's just a fact.

That's my, my standard is. My standard is not me sleeping in. My standards is the results that I get in my life.

And that's why we got such a nice bed mattress. It's high end. It's like Ferrari of bed mattresses. It's like a Lamborghini. It's like a Rolls Royce bed mattress. It's so comfortable. But I don't get to sleep in a match. You want to why?

Because your dog always wants you to pull you in.

Because I. Because you know why I do it?

So I can sleep.

Yes.

That's good.

So when I wake up in the morning and then I get going and I went and slept with like the two ninja warriors, then one of them.

Comes in bed with me and they.

Numb Chuck me all night. And I, I'm good because I'm just laying there getting numb. Chuckled.

It's gotten to the point back to.

Sleep, numb Chuck back.

I'll be like, how many times is it? Who switched where? Like, we'll wake up and I'm like, how to dog and a kid and where's Gary? Like it every night. I can't remember the last time we actually on the cruise. I slept great on the cruise.

Yeah, you did.

Oh. That's why, like, we need to have like a month of vacation, like overnight, even if we're like at the hotel across the street. Just because I just want like a solid 12 hours of sleep. That's all I want for Christmas.

Yeah. Have you ever slept for 12 hours?

No.

I don't think you've even slept for like four hours straight.

I know, it's rough.

You wake up in the middle of the night and have to pee and get drinks of water and check your phone. You're like liking my social media Post at 3:15.

I'm like, what Is she doing. Hey, it's real. If you are a mother.

Did my wife just watch my stories at 3:45am it's true.

You wake up.

Is she sleeping? What is she doing right now?

You're like, I gotta order something on Amazon really quick, and if I don't order it right now, it's gonna bug me. I won't be able to fall back, back to sleep. So I get online, and then I'm like, I wonder what Garrett's doing. And then I. I, yeah, it's no.

Wonder you have a hard time going to sleep.

I know.

And because you literally give yourself permission.

To wake up, people are like, I.

Will walk, half eye.

My mom's like, you should try an ambient. And I took an Ambien one time, and it took me, like, two hours to wake up. Like, I was like, God, I feel groggy for, like, two hours after I'm supposed to wake up. So I just suffer through.

I don't even think you really sleep on that. I think all it does is numb your body out.

I don't know. I tried that. And I was like, even on melatonin, Remember we were taking melatonins for a while, and I'm like, I sleep good, but I don't know if I do because I wake up and I. I'm groggy.

Yeah, it's bad. Anyways, we did have a melatonin season that was super weird. Every night, we were eating gummies, right? Here's a gummy 10 minutes.

You're, like, drooling well.

And the worst part is, we take the melatonin, the kids would still wake up, and I'd have to get up that one. Now I'm like, halfway stumbling, like I'm drunk out of my mind, but I'm not. I'm just melatonin out of my mind. Like, too much sleep.

So a lot of. A lot of people will look at. At, like, what we had done in Orange county, just circling him back and be like, why would you guys move? But there was a question.

Tell them.

Well, I was just thinking, like, I was talking to. I can't remember his name, one of the guys on the cruise that we just went to. And you're always like, christian, Christian. He's like. He looks at me, he's like, so how'd you know? And I was like, what do you mean? He's like, how did you know? Like, when you make decisions in your life, like, you have this because you were saying, like, oh, you just have this knowing. But it's like, for me, I'm in the process of writing a book called God Is My Ghostwriter. Because every time I've had a pivotal moment, it's not like I go out and I manifest something and put it on a vision board. It's like I get drawn, dropped the vision. And it's like, here's where you're supposed to go. And I'm like. And I, like, feel it in my heart so intensely that it's like, I can't ignore that, that this is truth. Like, I've just been dropped to the future. So to ignore it. I think a lot of times people say, oh, that's ridiculous. And they push it off. And they push it off. And I do that too, sometimes. But the better I've gotten about it, where I'm like, I can't push this off. I keep seeing this vision. I keep feeling this calling. Then I'm like, okay, let's go. And so then I believe, like, manifestation is more of, like, doing the work to go where you already know you're at. Like, times irrelevant, if that makes sense. So it's just, like, doing the work. And so sometimes people be like, oh, this is really scary. I'm supposed to do it. Like, God called me to do this. And they go. And then they hit a speed bump. Like, do you know the amount of speed bumps we hit before even getting here? And I was like, I just kept going back to what I already saw and where I knew we were supposed to go. Like, letting go of my whole teams, everything that was going on with the kids, like, there was multiple speed bumps. But for me, in life, it's like, that doesn't mean that you're making the wrong decision. That just means you're being tested to see. To go where you know you are already at. And so for me, like, that's where I have this kind of, like, internal knowing of like, yeah, you can see this from an outside perspective of like, oh, look at this grand life they have. Why would you guys just up and move? I'm like, because that's what life is about. That's how you are reborn. That's how you grow. That's. And the more that you listen, you realize you're kind of a puppet in this game. Like, it's fun, but you're like, how can I serve? Where am I going? Who am I impacting? And it's this level of just, like, kind of surrendering to that where you are blessed. And it's not to say that it's not Hard. And it's not to say that it doesn't come with his challenges, but the reward and the person you become and the people you impact on the process. You wouldn't have it any other way.

Jeez, well done.

But that's.

That's come a long way from the first shows where everyone used to yell at me and say, oh, you're always talking over her. She never gets to talk. I was like, the woman doesn't talk.

No podcast.

She's on a podcast. She doesn't talk.

Yeah, well. But honestly, I sit there and be.

Cute and go, hee hee. And that was it. I was like, oh, that's okay. I guess I'm gonna talk some more.

I would say I wasn't a very good communic. Communicator. And doing the podcast has not only helped me in business, but it's helped with just my relationship with you, my kids. And it's just this ability to articulate and communicate. You know, if you don't speak a lot and you're like, oh, I'm just quiet, I don't do that. It's. It's a skill.

People wouldn't believe that you were very quiet.

I know, but it's taken me years of just, like, learning how to communicate, and now it's. It is natural for me. So the person I was 10 years ago, I was like, oh, that's not me. Well, become the person that you're supposed to be. Like, the person you say, that's not me. That's not you. That's like, baby version of you. So that's not even really. That's not you. Like, we all have this experience in life to become whatever we want to become, but you have to put in the reps to whatever it is, if it's speaking, if it's, you know, it's a skill set. And so it's. Yeah, it's fun. And I'm kind of like, this year, I'm just like, all right, let's. What's next? You know? And I think it'll get to a season with us, where we will be. I feel like we just kind of opened up and we're eating all these opportunities. But it'll get to a point, too, where it's like, okay, now we're going to have to be very, very selective. Selective with our energy and who we strategically align with, because we were so just working our businesses, our companies, our families, and building stuff. And now we're like, let's take every opportunity, and it's great, but now it's even getting to the point where it's like, okay, let's be a little bit more strategic, which you see a lot in producers. It's just like, okay, you got to know somebody to get into here. And then ultimately it's like, can you create an opportunity together? Like, yes, it's social, but. But everybody that we've met that's kind of on this growth mindset, it's like, yeah, I like you, but how can we build something together? And that's what's really cool to see is, like, creating relationships, but not just relationships where you're like, let's go out and have cocktails. It's like, what can we build together and who can we help?

You're on fire.

That's got a lot of caffeine in it.

Yeah, well, it kicked in because you're on fire. So I'll ask you a question out of left field.

Okay? Okay.

So when a man. Well, I'll ask you a question. When do you feel like a man feels the most loved? When. If you're saying all the scenarios for a man, when does a man feel the most loved and appreciated from his wife?

Sex.

Yes.

That was like, check.

Is that ever going to change, do you think?

I don't know, because I've met men that seemed a little bit shut off there. So then I wonder, like, how do they feel? Love? Is it that? Is it, like, just appreciation and cheerleading?

Could be. And if they're shut off, do you think they just quit on sex?

I think they go. Their mistresses, their work, maybe, like, they get very, like.

But do you think they go there because there's just nothing at home?

Do I think they go to work because there's nothing at home? I don't know. I'm not a man.

But I would tell you what, A lot of guys work more because when they come home, they don't get sex. They don't give.

So they're like, I'm gonna pour this energy into somewhere else.

Yes.

I think that there's some truth in that. But two, like, for women, I'm like, I'm. I'm fine to have sex because I know on the other side of it, I actually get what I want. I'm like, oh, I get time and appreciation and the super bowl ring and all the things. So I get the game.

A lot of sex to get that right.

I get the game. And there's. There's. I come to understand.

Great couple years. Well done. You are a Super bowl champion.

I'm A Super bowl champion of marriage. But there's times for me. There's times for me where it's like, I. I used to be a chore, but now I'm like, I want to do it for you. Like, even if I'm like, not in the mood or whatever, but it also comes tenfold back to me because you're just like, hey, like, you see me more. So women, like, well, say it again. You see me more.

Say it one more time.

No, I'm gonna say it to the camera.

Say it.

So one of the things that women missed, one of the things that women talk of, they want to be seen. The reason they start, like, flirting or doing these things, they're putting themselves. They wanted. They ultimately, like, kind of want to be seen. And so it's. If you. If, like, you're satisfied, you look at me differently. If you're in work mode, I'm like, hello. Hello. I could be, like, jumping around topless. I'm like, hello, look at me. So I. I understand it. But then there's also times too where, like, I. I need my needs met too. So it goes.

But don't they get mad if you just have more sex?

If what?

I mean, if your theory is correct in what you just said.

My theory is correct. But there's been times where you have even been, like. You're like, I just. I don't think I can have sex tonight.

I'm like, oh, God, that's like three times in two decades.

Okay. No, there's been a few times where.

Like, one time I think I had a bladder infection. The other time, I. The other time, I think I was like. This last was like, hemorrhaging blood out my left.

Even this last week, we spent more time together because it was the holidays. And I could tell you were very satisfied because you. It was like 9 o' clock and you were just passing out. It's like, he doesn't. He is done. He's not even gonna try. I was like. I was like, more the instigator this week to make sure that you were showing up with the kids and satisfied and, like, into me. But I was like, he's. You're like. You were like, good. Like. But I knew. I'm like, I can't let him go to bed at nine every night. I gotta make sure he's taken care of at other times. So. I know. I'm just saying, I understand the mission. I'm just saying if, like, you understand the mission. I understand the mission. I'm just Saying, like, if you are like a total to me, then I wouldn't want to have sex.

Listen, I'm not saying that a guy can't have a bunch of sex and still be an.

Like, if you didn't apologize to me this morning, even though I know you were not in your right mind, I would have just done the podcast and I would have not. Not like, I would just been like, whatever. He didn't apologize. He knows he was a dick, so whatever.

Like, well, it was easy to just, like, here to here. It's harder for women to be sorry.

It's harder for women to be sorry.

Yeah. Dudes are like, oh, no, I. I fucked up. Sorry. Yeah, that was me. Women are like, reason story, justified. Project back to your husband eventually and land two days later.

I would say that might be I'm sorry.

And I'm like, what? What sorry? I've been waiting two days to hear that. What did you say? Did you say sorry for being a good, good job?

Say, I get over things pretty quickly, though.

No, but that's how girls do it, though. They get over it by not talking about it. They talk about every other thing under the sun, but just saying the simple thing that God wants. No, I was a. I'm sorry.

If you hadn't brought up last night or said anything like, I would have come to you eventually. At some point, do they have been like, like, hey, where are you at?

Yeah, but I did the thing.

I know. So you were good.

I know, but I'm saying, like, that. So let's go back to the topic, though. The topic is very important. It's a very important topic.

Okay.

And it's a very important topic for men. And this is when everybody's ears bend into the show already.

Where are you going?

They bend into the show.

We're ready for this bend.

There might even be some blood flow with that bend into the show. I don't know. I'm not saying I can't prove it, but here's what I'll do. If the formula is so simple for dudes, okay, just hear me out. If the formula is so simple, like big crayons, four colors only. Red, blue, green, yellow. Is it four big crayons? All you have to do is take the crayons out of the box. You can hold all four crayons at the same time.

Okay, you coach guys, because I know.

You'Re not even letting me finish my point. You just gotta let me finish this analogy so we can land.

Okay?

Because guys are listening right now. They're going get. Go for it. Show them, Bo. Show them. And I'm like trying, but you're cutting it off. You're cutting off the crayon analogy. Now they're lost. I gotta fucking start over. Cause guys don't even know where we are now.

I don't know where you're yet.

Exactly. Because you cut it off. So I got the big ass crayons. All a woman has to do, she knows where the crayons are. There's hundreds of boxes of crayons around the house. The man has literally bought from Amazon a thousand boxes of four big ass crayons.

You want her to just color them everywhere?

He's like, they're all over the fucking place. Okay, it's Christmas. What do I want? I want you to draw on me with the crayons. Valentine's draw on me with the crayons. Christmas draws me on the crayons. Celebration of Jesus birth. Draw me the crayons. Crucifixion. Draw me the crayons. It's just crayons. It's easy. Move. Easy, easy. Move.

What if it's pin cushion? Do they still want.

That's a contingency factor. So we're coming.

If it's mercy sex all the time.

See, this is the thing I'm talking about. So it's so easy. Three things.

What if she's so resentful and she's just giving him mercy sex every night?

Should get divorced. Absolutely. Should divorce. Mercy sex.

But as I'm saying, this happens.

You know how many women want to draw these crayons? There are so many women want to draw those crants. And so the problem is you get married to the one you say you're my one. I choose your vagina for the rest of my days. I want you. I want your breasts. I want your ass. I want your vagina. I want you.

But she will not be fulfilled if he is working every day, 24 hours a day.

Like one of the reasons he works so much because no motivation. Come home. Because when it comes home to is cover the kids with a wife.

So what is your question, Garrett?

I'm still getting to the point of it. Okay, you just keep interrupting.

Just really confused.

Guys are now very upset because you keep interrupting.

I just think you want to go color.

Now you're getting it. We just want a color. Now you're getting it. See, you stuck with it. You're now getting it. We just want to color with you. That's it. Okay, so we want you to draw on us with these grants every day. Cool. Easiest task, right? So, like, if you took a woman, if I took you, and I said, and all women, they had an easy button that just said, hit this four times. There's not a fucking dude on the planet would be confused by this. He would be like, so hold up. You're telling me I'm gonna get everything I want? I'm gonna get a peaceful, passionate woman who looks at me, sees me, loves me, longs me, and will do everything that I want. And you're telling me with this little red button right here or these four crayons, all I have to do is take the crayons out, draw a circle, Done. Or I have to hit the button four times. 1, 2, 3, 4. Every fucking dude, even the stupid ones who have very little intelligence, they're smart enough to know, huh, get what I want, hit the fucking button. What if guys will hit the button all day long? The problem is women don't have a button that goes, 1, 2, 3, 4.

But I have a serious crayon button.

And they pick up different crayons and they say, I don't like those crayons anymore. And then I don't like these crayons. So we come back with the crayons. We don't know what to do. You get the 643 pack of crayons. We're trying to figure out which crayon in the fucking box you're after. I don't like that one today. I don't like that one guy for easy. Four crayons, one button. One, two, three, four.

I have a really important question.

This is what you do. You don't answer my questions. You just give me another question.

I'm giving you a parable.

I've already given you the parable of the crayons.

No, your crayons are silly. So what about the guy who can get laid as much, much as he wants, married whenever he wants? Oh, has he married?

Well, if I'm single, I could go get laid every night in Miami.

But here's the thing. And then we have a few friends, and they're like, coach, why am I not fulfilled? I've get. I can get sex twice a day.

Why are we talking about single dudes?

So if that's the easy button for men, and you have these guys that. So you're a liar. There isn't an easy button. Because these single guys that are going out, they could get as much sex as they want, and they have the money and the cars and they're like, I don't know why I'm not satisfied. Why do I just want a wife and kids? You're like, you. You dumbass. Like, because that's not what you want. You don't just want sex. That's just what you think. And although it is part of says.

All women game and no.

How. How would you answer that question? So why are these guys.

Now that you've decided to try to pull a political sham on me, why are these guys. We're not even talking about your birth now. You grew up and didn't work at McDonald's, but Kamala just talks about over here, and we're trying to make a pool.

That was a. Your cringe were stupid. Answer me exactly.

K. You just comment my trump stance.

But for real.

Trying to make it simple. Build a wall.

You're. I would know.

Simple shit.

Build a wall.

Next you know, we're talking about fucking turtles and straws and trying to save them in California. You ready? Can I finish the para work?

No, you got to answer my question.

I'm answering your question. You can't. You're now comparing an orange to a watermelon.

I'm not.

You are married. Dude. Orange, watermelon, broken up.

You said all men have an easy button.

All men have an easy button. For sure. For sure.

Okay, well, if he's getting his easy.

Button, we're talking about married men. So who chose one vagina that don't have the buffet of vaginas as an option? Because, see, here's the thing. If I could go sleep with anybody and be married to you, it would put you on your heels because you would have to show up a different way, because then you couldn't just show up as a woman.

I wouldn't be with you.

Okay, that's my point. And that's why most couples, they don't do this. If you were out sleeping with other guys, same thing. I'd be gone. So now the trap of marriage, which is like, I chose your penis. You chose my. I chose your. You chose my penis. I chose your vagina. We're in it to win it. Pinky promise. Now, that contract comes with an easy button, but the girls don't read the fine print. And the fun part about fine print for the guy contracts just one big ass page that just says easy button four times. That's it. So I just hit the button. Girls, contract rolls out the door, down the neighborhood, across the street, down billionaire row, all these fucking things, fine print. We can't read them all we're just saying, hey, here it is. I choose you. I think you're beautiful. And here's the thing, dudes, once they choose their woman, they're like, they all think they're hot.

Yeah.

Short, tall, thick, thin, whatever. Big ass, small ass, small tits, big tits, doesn't matter. Dude's like, that's my vagina. I chose her. It's real easy. Here's the easy button. Just hit the button. And I'm not saying you don't hit the button.

Now I feel a little bit attacked. And I do.

No, no, I'm attacking women right now.

Oh, so that's not you.

You're a woman, but you figured out the easy button. You're the one that created qqp. Quickie. Quickie porn star.

So no, you don't do it. You don't get enough.

You created it, it took out it, it went viral. If Tick Tock had existed back then, it would just knuckle that. No. Okay. Yep. This is a resistance. See, now you're trying to represent all the women who won't hit the easy button.

I just want you guys to know my husband is not an. And he does mean. He does mean the best for people and humans in general. And he is a good guy, and he is a good dad, and he is a good husband. He's very good.

I'm very great, I'm great. All that. So here's the thing, though. We still have not landed on the premise and now every listener is laughing our ass off because they're watching the dynamics of men and women at play. Real time happening in this.

I'm just wondering where this is going.

This is what women are all saying when guys say, hey, I got a real easy, one page contract for you.

I feel like I'm pretty easy. I feel like I'm pretty easy.

I've already said you're easy. You've learned how to hit the easy button. You're a smart woman. We're talking about the dumb winner women who don't hit the easy button.

But what? Other guys are not showing up.

But this is where the paradox are.

Not taking care of them.

Yes, but here's the paradox.

Why are they not feeling safe and secure?

But you just.

Why is she out producing it?

You just said, if the guy is getting it, I see you more, I notice you more. I'm more into you when we're having sex. So if a woman knows.

So do you want me to give some advice?

Being married, I'm just trying to get to the Answer why. There's a why at the back of all this. You keep not letting me get to, too.

I don't think there is.

If the button is sitting on the counter and all you have to do is hit it, he's got to hit it.

Okay.

And, you know, on the other side of it, you can spank the. Out of it. You want. You can spank it four times. You can lick it four times. No, you sit on it in any direction four times. You could land. You could. You could change directions on every point of this. You could sit on it this way, sit on it that way, sit on it this way, lick it, do your thing. You can do all you want to the button. But if the button is so easy, why do women make it so difficult for themselves to hit the button?

I think that they're waiting for their needs to be met first before they participate.

But don't you. Didn't you tell me that if the buttons hit, they get what they want?

You don't. But you don't know that. And also, like, in our relationship, I will tell you when. You know, 13 years ago, when you. You. You say that's the easy button, but you're, like, working all the time, and I'm like, oh, I just got to be supportive, and I'm building all this resentment, and I'm young, and I don't know. And then I'm a year coming home late, and I'm like, I'm not gonna hit the easy button. Like, I just don't know. Imagine.

Imagine you imagine you were here.

Let me finish. Let me finish. So then we got to this place in our marriage where there was just no chemistry. There was no attraction. There was just nothing there. But I wanted. Wanted to have great sex. I wanted to feel free and vulnerable and safe. But also, there was this period where we lost everything. So you're the provider. We have two kids. We're emotionally disconnected. And now you're not providing. I'm like, not only am I not attracted to you, but there's no win in me having hitting the easy button for you. You. I have lost your trust financially, everything else. So why am I going to hit the easy button? It like. So it's this. We rebuilt this. Like, I was like, okay, this is when we launched our brands. This is when you launched Wake Up, Warrior. This is when I launched natural beaded Rose. And it was almost like we went into this space where, like, neither of us knew what we were doing. And for me, I kind of got to this place. I Started producing and making money, and I started feeling my own sense of, like, safety and security. But I still always wouldn't hit the easy button. No, sure, sure. That's fine. But there was still a lot of lack of trust and resentment.

Listen to this fucking show. Is listening to you right now going, oh, my God, My wife is on this show right now.

No.

Because she is just gliding past easy button with a story that's 19 miles long about why she won't hit the button.

Because I didn't want to have sex with you. I was not attracted to you.

That's honest.

I was not attracted to you. I'm like, you have no money. I am producing. Why would I have sex with you? I know I barely want to be married to you.

I get it.

And then it got to this point where I was like, well, I don't want to be with somebody I don't want to have sex with for the rest of my life. And I'm tired of what we call it, pin cushion sex or mercy sex or whatever is. I'm like, and I'm tired of having sex like that too. Like, I would prefer to have good sex, and I want to be fulfilled, and I don't. I think a lot of people get in this space, in their inside of the relationship, in their side of their marriage. They accept that to be truth, and that's how it has to be. And I'm like, it's not. And for me, I knew that wasn't just. It didn't just come with you changing. It didn't come with just you making more money. It didn't just came. It came with me, too. And so even though we were in this place where we weren't financially where you see us today, I was like, okay, if I'm a part of this relationship, if this is 50, 50 that, and I want to have great sex and I want to have great connection, then what do I need to do? And I was like, I need to stop being a prude and don't enjoy that comment that long. So when I thought that, I was like, okay, I'm gonna test something. I'm gonna initiate. I'm gonna. If we go on vacation, I'm gonna, like. Even though it was.

You're gonna hit the easy button.

Even though it was uncomfortable and I was resentful, I was like, whatever. Let's. Let's do this. What? I will tell you, there was a lot of power in this, ladies. There was a lot of power in this. I was like, oh, the easy button. Is very powerful. Like, I own this man. So close my case.

You just talk long enough to close my case.

Keep talking, woman.

All we're doing is closing the easy button case.

What I tell people, students, when I'm coaching. I'm like, listen, listen. You can always get whatever it is you want. You have to look.

You just have to. What?

You. No, you have to look.

You just have to hit the. What?

No, shut the upper. You just have to look at the end result. And sometimes you don't want to do the in between, but you gotta do it, because then you'll get the result that you want.

Oh, my God. This show is the greatest show it's ever happened.

Did you do drugs before this show?

The last 25 minutes of what just happened or 20 minutes, 15 minutes? This clip is like a documentary of cramps, just greatness. No, no, no. There's not a guy on the planet. It don't carry your race, religion, nothing that will listen to this and not laugh his ass off at how crazy the dynamic was. You remember when I said this? You did it. You went and you came right back to the easy button.

But the thing is, I have to say this. I think. I think that what women don't understand I love you, is, like, how powerful it is in, like, what, to hit the easy button? No. To feel sexy for your man and.

Hit the easy button.

And. No. And know that he looks at you like, God, this is my wife. Doesn't matter. Your shape, your size, your color. Like, this is those moments where you can, like, look at your man. And he's like, I'm the luckiest man in the world.

After you hit the easy button.

I can't. I gotta go. Guys, it's been a great podcast. We'll see you next year.

Are you leaving?

No.

Sit your eyes down. You're not leaving this show.

And I was like, are we, dude, still going back to this?

Listen, I'm gonna. We're gonna have a date night. We're gonna go back and listen to the last 20 minutes. I'm gonna transcribe it. You're in.

Transcribe it.

Yeah. And then I'm gonna ask Chat GBT what it thinks about what happened.

Okay.

Just see what it thinks because we landed at the same place. So here was what we found in therapy, which is hilarious. We were always saying the same thing. But women, as you can tell and was just demonstrated, have a very different way of arriving at the same outcome. And we have turned trying to arrive at with them forever.

We'd like you to take longer and not come so fast.

Ah, that's. That's not a problem. I got that handled. Now I get the opposite problem from you. You're like, oh, my God. Can you. Are you. Are you going to be able to go? I was like, it's been 12 minutes.

I got things to do.

You know how long I've worked to get to 12 minutes?

I got to get on Amazon.

You should be. You could do that 3:50 in the morning when you pretend like you're sleeping. So at the end, I. I watched this, and I've talked with women about this. I've talked with men about this. I've shared this online. I've shared this in our trainings and our events. There's an easy formula for women, too. It's easier than it seems. And part of that is a man being deeply grounded in himself. Right. Like, the minute I stop grounding in you, like, I don't find my certainty in you. I find my certainty in myself if I'm a certain team God. When that happened and I stopped trying to lean my certainty on you and look for your approval, and I was like, okay, here's. I am. I will tell you, a radical sexual revolution happened for us. Us. Because it wasn't. I didn't want her. It's just that I was looking for power in the wrong place.

Oh, but it's so much hotter now. I swear that just happened, like, the last, like, year. I'm like, there he is.

Yeah, well, I'm like, and. And I. What also shifted, too, is, like, I wasn't doing things to have sex. I was just, like, doing things because that's what a partner does. And I was like, living life in a different place, less reactive to the game. But also, what happened with that, too. Had you not. Had we not been having more sex? Like, had sex become, like, not an issue? And I'm telling you, this is a massive problem. Problem. Like, we watch it with our guys coming in. The reason I'm bringing, we're being funny about it, but it is a sore spot for 95% of the men that come into work. And we have thousands of guys that come in. And then I've talked to the other men's groups. Same issue. 95% of the men. Same issue. We ran our woman's event. 90% of the application is coming from women wanting passionate sex. Not having it.

I did. I just don't think they know how to go about it or where to start.

That's exactly why we're Doing a show, babe. We had do analogies of crayons and just show them how the easy button. This just release. We're going to do a date you at easy button. We're going to ship them out to people's house for free. We're going to put it on the wall and just let ladies know. Hit it. TTF Tell me. Touch me me. It's actually three if you want to add.

So now you need more than zegs.

No, tell me. Touch me me. That's part of the process.

Well, I would say, like, I.

If you tell me you're the man, but then you don't me. I was like, what do you.

Well, I would say there was this. This.

You tell me and touch me, and then you say you want more than.

Just, like, sex, because there's times, like, sex has been great. And then I'm like, how am I not feeding his needs? Am I not cheerleading him enough? It's a level of appreciation, honestly. Tf But I will tell you, women want to feel appreciated, too.

Yeah, they do.

How do we want to feel appreciated?

I'm a man. I have a penis. You tell me.

Well, you asked me.

Well, you said you're asking me like, I have a vagina. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know how to be. You tell me.

I think a level of appreciation is, like, beyond support. Like, yeah, you'll support me with my business hire nannies. Like, you'll pay for stuff, which is supportive. Right? But appreciation is, like, noticing, like, things that I did, like, for women. I will say because now, right now I'm, like, in business mode, but I'm also very much like, mom mode. And so it's like, we want appreciation for, like, little things. Like, like, it'd be like, hey, babe, thanks for cleaning the kitchen, or thanks for doing the. Like. I know it sounds like stupid and little because it's like, as men and women, we have, like, our rules. Like, I'm like, of course I'm going to do the laundry or pick up the kitchen. I don't really care if you do the dishes. Like, I don't mind doing it. But at the same token, it's like, I. I like you, but, hey, thanks for. And you'll text me sometimes. Like, hey, thanks being for what you did with the kids and managing the schools. And so I think I was doing.

That for a while. You didn't like it?

No. You just recently, though, like, you were doing it, but it was different. It was like checklist Appreciation. And like, now, recently, just last week, like, vaginal masturbation. Sure. You. You was like, literally was like, I'm gonna stack my wife and tell her about all the little, like, the general things you love about me. But recently, what I've noticed is you'll take a minute to be like, hey, I know you got the kids all, like, enrolled in schools, and you organize the teams and this and this, like, thank you. You. And there was more of, like, a genuine notice of it. Of like, hey, I. That's my wife's role. Like, I'm the mom. So I'm gonna do these things. I'm not going to ask you to coordinate somebody to fold the laundry. I'm not. You're going to pay for it, but I'm not going to ask you to do those things. So I like when you say because women feel like, oh, my God, I don't need. You're being a right now because you're a little smirk.

I'm just laughing.

No, I'm laughing because. Give you a compliment.

No, I know.

And I'm receiving little things. We like and we feel seen and appreciated, even if it's something like, thanks for enrolling the kids and taking care of the laundry.

So is it. So is it an outcome or is it an effort?

It's an effort. Okay, so it's not because I don't like. It's like when you bought me, you would go out of your way during work and you'd buy me flowers. I'm like, oh, that's really nice. And then all a sudden, flowers started showing up weekly. I'm like, that. Because it was a. Yeah, I didn't. I can go buy my own flowers.

I can buy myself 5.

I can use your money and buy myself flowers. Or I can use mine. But it was a no. Know that you were thinking about me in the middle of the day. I was thinking about you picked up the flowers and brought them home. And then you're like, how could I automate this? I'm like, how can you automate sex?

But I was thinking about. I was thinking about it because I.

Got a lot of text. Think about that in your mind when you're like, hey, I can pay for this to make it more seamless. Well, I can just have an escort.

Show up here twice a week.

No, I can. Then it can be like, like, on.

Demand on Thursdays at three and Fridays.

Yeah. No. Then it's like, it's the effort.

That would be the opposite for a guy.

It's the effort so for women in.

Sex, we'd be very appreciative.

In sex, you enjoy when your wife's into it. So we have to. We have to get in this space.

Got it?

Of not.

Can you see why? Can you see why this is so complicated for couples?

No, you're making it complicated.

No, listen, like, we're gonna wrap this show, but here's what I'm gonna tell you.

Like, we're fucked. Just like you guys.

That's it.

Have a great day. We'll see you on the next episode of the day you write podcast. I'm den you yell, and this is my husband, Garrett.

Listen, we're. We're all kind of in the following. We have chosen monogamous relationships in a growth, mindset, mindsetted world where you have two people who are trying to grow themselves, and then every day, every week, every year, have to regrow and commit to each other. And that process is really difficult. It's really difficult. And that's why it's easier to just not talk about and easier to cheat and easier to shut down and easier to just quick. Because it requires a very open dialogue. If we're this open, having this dialogue with you on this show, what kind of conversation you think we're having when we're not on the show? The same ones. Like, we have this most serious conversation to hear with you guys, but we do also. These are the conversations we have driving. Sometimes they're heated, sometimes they're not heated. Sometimes they're fun, Sometimes they're not fun, sometimes they're painful, sometimes they're pleasurable. But, like, nonetheless, we're, like, willing to have the conversation. And the thing that ended for us both was a commitment to we're in it no matter what. I mean, a few weeks ago, like, a week ago on date night, you lost your shit. And I was like, okay, like, there's a space now that's like, we're. We've learned how to open space up for the other person to be human without the conversation in the mind of I don't want this human anymore, which is where the big shifts came, is like, I'm in. You have a hall pass to be crazy at times because you're a human. And I'm just going to accept that that's a moment, and that moment doesn't define what we are. That moment is a moment, and then from that moment, we'll just figure out how to not have a moment like that. We'll have a different moment, and then we grow and we experience It. And that requires submission on both sides from man being able to say, hey, I fucked up, or a woman, I fucked up. And here's where. But this requires also honesty. Honesty. You have been very honest with me in levels. You were never honest with me. In the last couple years, like the last two to three years, you've been more honest than you've ever been about everything. Your thoughts, your feelings, your fantasies, everything. You're like, I'm being more honest with you than ever. On the flip side, I've been more honest with you. And that's painful because sometimes hearing the truth from your spouse is very, very intense for your ego to hear it. And on the flip side, there's like, this piece where you have to give it, and that hurts. And it's painful to share your truth when you know that the other person you're sharing with may feel hurt from it. And yet, what's the alternative? Get divorced, have an affair, Hate your life? Or. Or you could choose to date your wife. And in dating your wife, that means you have to recalibrate the game every week. It's like, every year, it's like, are we in it to win it? Yeah, we're ride or die. Cool. What do we need to work on individually and collect collectively to be able to make this work better? And coming to Miami for us was a commitment to shift environments, which has been incredibly powerful for both of us. It's creating massive opportunities. But what it's really created for us is a soul level connection. That's why I gave you the ring with the Phoenixes, with the AI Made picture that you didn't like, but it was an effort. I spent an hour and a half on AI trying to create it. It took me a while. I'm not an AI guy. And so I got the best two Phoenixes I could get and put them in a frame for you for Christmas.

And how'd you frame that?

I had people who helped me do things like this. That's how it showed up here. I had people help me with the ring.

Okay.

And it was a symbol of me saying, hey, I love you. I'm in forever. I'm not going anywhere. And I love you deeply with my heart, with my soul. You're my girl. You're my one. And I'm so glad that we've been able to fight through all the hard times to get to a place when we could be this connected at a soul level to the point that our souls are communicating in a way they've never done. And we're experiencing empathy and forgiveness for each other in ways we never have, because the connection is now at the soul place that has transcended a lot of the stupid shit that we'll do at times as humans.

I think it's. It's scary to share your truth with your partner, especially for women, because you're like, how is he going to react to this? So I've kind of had to. When. When I want to share something, it's like, how do I frame this? And sometimes it could be like, I didn't know that asking you to put your towels in the hampers would really set you off. You know? So it's like, even stuff like that. I like. I know it sounds like a stupid thing, but I was like, this is really bugging me. Should I, like, tell him? Because it's like, it's such a silly thing, but I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna say it, but it's. And it triggered you. Like, I said my timing. I probably could have said it on a lunch date when you were not stressed with work and stuff like that.

It had been a long day, and I just went through a hell bomb outside for an hour on the phone. And you decided to drop it right in the middle of World War iii Because I.

Doing laundry, nesting. You know, it'd be nice if he. And then I was like, should I ask him? Is it not that big of a deal? But that my point in being is, like, as a woman, it can be scary to share your truth because you're like, oh, I love my life, or I love my lifestyle. And, like, how is he going to react if I say this? And so we hold it in. And that actually doesn't serve you. That actually adds to the problem. So for me, I've learned over the years, yes, easy button, sure. I've learned that there's this. This vulnerable piece in me that he wants. Wants to see, which is just like talking about how I'm feeling. Because if you don't start talking about how you're feeling, and I've experienced this, you're ultimately like, your soul, like, starts to die. You're not happy, and you're like, ah, what is wrong? And it's because you're not sharing or communicating with this person that you chose to do this life with, how you're actually feeling. And so then that's when the resentment and other things build. So I'm still working on it, and so is Garrett, but it's like one of those things that it's like, okay. We're in this together, and I genuinely believe that you. We will go further and faster together than we will individually. Yes, you still have to work on yourself individually. But the things that we can create together is just. It's. It's fun. So here we are. First episode in Miami. Date U Wife podcast, the first one.

We'Ve done without a couple on the show with us for months. So, like, I think, you know, we were just getting it all out. You.

You were for sure.

This show. Fucking crushed.

You were like, in a silly mood and I was like, in a serious mood. But it's fine. Hopefully it balanced out.

I sit here and pet my guinea pig.

My little Yorkie came in.

My Yorkie guinea pig.

Yeah, she's cute.

She's cute. She's on it's impossible Potty train, light dog. It's impossible. They say she's fine.

It's not used. Take them outside. All right, wrap them up.

Oh, if it was only that easy.

Wrap it up.

Wait, is there an easy button for dogs, too?

Is there an easy button for dogs?

Yeah, you just take them outside.

Just take them outside. You got to hold space, Garrett.

We can just wrap this whole thing up with one simple stuff statement. The easy button is doggy stuff.

Oh, my God.

And that's how long.

I hope you guys got some value out of the show. Thanks for joining us.

All right, listen. Thank you for being here on the show. Listen here with. At Wakeup Warrior, we got so many amazing things happen and one of our most exciting things, and which would be so comical for people to listen to the show and recognize that, yes, we are all in on this too, is our Warrior men's Bible study. And you're also like, what kind of Bible study are they doing? I'll tell you which kind. Real Bible study. Real study for real men who want real results. All right. It's not a happy clappy conference. You're not going to come in and raise your hand, sing worship music for six hours, and then leave and be like, my life still sucks. Right? We have amazing group of 2,000 plus guys that meet every single week for free. You can check that out atwarrior Bible study dot com. It's very intense and it's very open and it's very authentic. If this podcast that way, you can imagine how our trainees are in our calls with our guys are. Check that out. Also, Danielle has her own private show. If you haven't heard it, the Danielle K. White.

I was like, what? I have a private show.

Yeah, she's now on only fans.

I had a podcast called the Big Money Stylist that was catered mostly to hair stylists. I run a brand called Natural Beautiful Hair Extensions. And just in the last year I, like I shared with you guys earlier on the show, I just felt like I, I wanted to expand the more than just the hair industry. So I changed my podcast to the Danielle K. White show. And honestly, like, like I, I, I just went out and asked cool people to join the show and I was, I just felt like such a warm welcome and the amount of people that came on the show and I've really enjoyed like interviewing them. Find other stories. So if you want to hear more of my personal podcast with some pretty big names on it and excited for this next year and who's going to be coming on the podcast, you can check that out at Danielle K. White Show.

All right, that's a wrap. Thanks so much for being here. And go get yourself a box of crayons, ladies. You know what to do. And that brings this episode to a close of the date your wife podcast.