Parenting Challenges & Victories | Date Your Wife | Ep 047

Well, hello there, my friends, your boy, Gary J. White, the founder Wake Up Warrior and your co host here in the Date your Wife podcast. My wife finally got her headphones on in time, ready to do this show.

I was sweating. It was like. The camera was on. I was like.

It was rolling. It was rolling, you know? And this is. You are the founder of DKW Styling and the creator of Natural Beaded Rose. It's your boy, Gary J. White.

It's so gangster of you.

No, I don't know if gangster is.

Reminds me of, like, college.

Hey, what's up? This is your boy, Garrett J. White. This is a DJ style.

Yeah. I don't know.

DJ style. I'm running DJ3 in the morning. This DJ said DJ Garrett J.

White. I think you have this inner.

I do have an inner DJ in there.

No, you don't have an inner dj. You have an inner person who wants to be a dj.

No, I am a dj.

Really?

Are you kidding me? Do you not see me? I have an event in two weeks with 1200 men, and I'll have a microphone in my hand, and I will be DJ because I'm in front of 1,200 people. No, DJs. A mic. And also, the tables are MC now. All right? I'm MC South.

You're the MC.

Okay? True MC South. MC, not DJ.

We know you're the MC.

The MC.

You're the MC of Warrior Master.

Master.

Let's bring them in. Welcome to the Date youe Wife podcast.

Welcome to Date youe Wife podcast. I don't even know what our topic's supposed to be, meaning what focus is.

Supposed to be the focus. Last week, I think, was sex. I swear, the last, like, three weeks have been sex.

I keep slipping one past the goalie. Keep slipping one past the goalie. And we keep getting to talk about sex. So we're gonna talk about something different right now. We're gonna talk about. We're gonna talk about our daughter. We're gonna talk about parenting.

Oh, we haven't talked about parenting in a bit.

We're gonna talk about parenting. We're gonna talk about some problems in the parenting quadrant you and I have been facing recently.

I feel like, you know what's so funny? My daughter's in junior high, and I remember last year, like, she would still snuggle and, like, kiss me and say goodbye. And I remember, like, thinking, soak it in, Danielle. Soak it in. And I.

People would tell us this, too.

No, nobody told me this.

Why people tell me this?

Well, I didn't think, like. Cause I was like, junior high here. I was like, no, she's still young. But, like, literally over the summer, I was like, who is this monster?

She went from, like, little girl to, like, junior high.

Well, no, like, she doesn't. Like, she used to. Like, she was always my cuddly one. And I'd go to leave, and she'd be like, mom, one more hug. One more hug. And now I'm like, bailey. And her head is, like, in her phone. She's like, what? Like, every time I say Bailey. And I say it just like that.

Yeah.

I'm like, bailey, what? I'm like, I'm sorry.

There's a bit of aggression.

There's so much aggression. I'm like, I don't even know what's going on. And I just think the cell phone needs to be limited. But then she's always pulling out, like, I got homework, and I got this. And I'm like, well, show me. And then she'll really be doing homework. But I'm like, well, whatever. You heard me coming. You put on some. You got your homework up, and then you went right back on FaceTime with your friend or whatever. I don't know.

But she doesn't listen.

And you know what else is sad about this year is, like, she's old enough where if she doesn't want to go with me to run errands, or she doesn't have to go if she doesn't want to go. I booked a family movie. And she's like, I don't want to go. And I was like, I booked a family movie. You'll like it. She's like, I don't want to go. Or I'll be like, bailey. I'll give her, like, warnings. I'm like, kay, you have 10 minutes to get ready. K. You have five minutes. Get ready, Kate. We're leaving in two minutes. And I go in. I'm like, you've done nothing in the last 10 minutes.

It's got shit in care.

She. No. I don't know what happens to, like, the preteens. Like, they lose. They lose all consciousness of time.

I think it's different, though, too, because you got cell phones. I think it was already a thing, but now cell phones make it worse.

I'll go in the bathroom, and she still has, like, a towel in her head and she's on her phone. I'm like, I told you 10 minutes ago.

Yeah, it's a phone thing.

And then I'll be like, take away. And then I'll be like, give me your phone. She'll be like, you don't trust me? And I'm like, you say that every time, but you've proven that I cannot trust you.

That's why she's asking.

I'm at a loss this year.

We have no answers for you on this show today. We have zero answers.

I just wanted everyone to.

We have zero answers. We just want you to know that.

We understand moms out there to laugh because they have kids that are going through this, and they're like, ha, ha ha. Don't worry. They're either gonna say it gets worse or it gets better. I don't know. Don't tell me. I'll figured out.

Well, listen, we have a daughter who is. I mean, like, cell phones have changed the game for kids. Like, they have made. They have forced our children to grow up much quicker, yet at the same time, it's like. It's like they're not growing up. It's like they're growing up, but they're not growing up at the same time. Like, they're growing up intellectually very quickly. And articulation and communication, meaning they have so much data in their brains and their brains think so quickly, but emotionally, I swear they're, like, going backwards. No, I think they're going backwards.

Really.

I don't think the emotional fortitude of children is even like, what it used to be.

They text so much. You don't actually have to have to have that conversation. Like, I was just thinking, like, it when I was in junior high, and, like, the first time a boy called me or whatever, it's like you were, like, sweating bullets. You were like, I have to, like.

Get on the phone and talk and.

Not sound like a dork and not stutter and, like, not pause. And now you can literally, like, edit, erase, text. Like, and so you don't actually learn how to communicate in a way.

Well, it's not that you don't know how to communicate. I think they've gotten very good at being able to communicate through text.

Yeah, that's true.

But they haven't learned how to communicate face to face.

Right.

Like, we were sitting in and saying, okay, there was a little boy that my daughter liked, and this little boy liked my daughter. He was in the seventh grade. She was in sixth grade. We were friends with her parents, his parents. So we ended up, like, spending some time together with the families, et cetera. And we were going to his house to pick him up to come to dinner. He was coming with us.

Oh, yeah, that was funny.

And my daughter, like, we could. With the address we had was, like, a little confusing. So we couldn't find his house. So we're about to go to the house, and we can't find the address. And I'm talking to my daughter in a vaccine. I said, just call him. And she is freaking out, and she's like, oh, my God. Jesus Christ, dad.

You did not call him.

Freaking out about the idea of calling him.

We're like, we can't find his house.

Call him. No, I'm texting him right now. Call him.

People don't do that.

Call him. Dad, you don't even understand. Call him. So there's an inability to communicate with each other.

I mean, but I'm struggling as a parent to even, like, know how to.

Communicate with our kids.

Yeah. Like, no, just. No, I.

Do you mean communicate with people?

No, I don't know how to. Like, my new.

You're sitting here on a microphone talking.

My new human being. My new daughter.

Oh, your new human being.

My new human being. I'm like, I don't know how to communicate. Cause literally, I'll be like. Because Bailey. And she's like, what? I'm like, I just said your name. You're not in trouble. She's like, well, whatever, biatch. I'm like, don't say that. That's super rude and disrespectful. I was just kidding, Mom. Like, that's her little attitude.

And I know you know that. You know the. Like, do you think your mom would have tolerated that, or you think your mom would have beat you?

You know what my. I remember.

Did your mom beat you? Like, would she smack you in a face?

I got backhanded one time, and I. My nose was bleeding. And then my mom felt really bad because I think she felt like an abusive mom. But, like, I remember my mom backhanded me one time, like, when I was in probably, like, seventh grade, because I.

You probably deserved it.

I probably did it.

You probably said biatch.

I don't remember. I was yelling at her. We were in the car, and next thing I know, my. Her hand flung across, and my face went into the windshield, and literally, my nose, like, started bleeding all over. And then I went upstairs, and she came up later, and she's like, are you okay? And I was like, no, my nose is broken. And it wasn't. And she was like, well, I'm sorry.

My mom threw my shoes out of a car in a new city we had just moved to. We'd moved to Yakima, Washington. I was in the eighth grade, and my mom. I was fighting in the backseat with my siblings. I wouldn't stop. She stops at an intersection. She throws my shoes out the sunroof in this Ford Festiva, says, get out of the car, and drives away. I've never been to the city. It's the first day we're in the city. We just moved there. My mom leaves me a place. I don't know where I'm at. And for some reason, the always the thought goes to, I hope I get kidnapped. That'll show my mom. That was exactly what. Bailey was actually telling me this when I took her cell phone away here, like, two weeks ago. And I said, you lose your phone. And she's yelling at me the whole way to school, and she's telling me that she's going to get kidnapped. She's like, I hope you're happy that I get kidnapped because I don't have my cell phone. I was like, so help me understand how having your cell phone helps you not get kidnapped. She's like, well, I could call someone. I'm like, unless you're learning how to use a cell phone as a weapon, I don't see how that, like, actually supports that.

So you didn't finish the story. Your mom threw your shoes out.

So my mom threw my shoes out and left me.

Like, for reals?

Yeah, like four hours. I went into a Montgomery Wards. It was a store. Have you ever heard of a Montgomery Wards?

That's funny. I know.

My mom couldn't find me.

My parents would do the whole get out of the car thing, too, but they would always just drive to where we could barely see them. And. And then they would stop the van, and it was one of those big old sliding door vans. And you'd see the van door slide open and we'd be like, ah. And we'd run and we'd, like, get in the car.

No, I got left.

And then we'd just shut up.

I got left for four hours.

Wow.

Your mom really didn't. I moved my way. Well, she had four other kids. My dad was out of town. It wasn't even one. I was the oldest. And I was a pain in the ass. I was picking on all my sisters and brothers. I wouldn't stop. So my mom did exactly what she should have done. She threw my fucking shoes out the door. And then she said, get the fuck out of the car. So I end up in a Montgomery Wards, trying on clothes. I have no wallet. I Have no cell ph. There's no way to communicate. Can you imagine being a parent and you dropped your kid off? Things were way different back then. Like, you didn't know where your kids were all the time. I mean, back in the day, your parents had no idea where you were.

Come home at dusk and you're like.

Where are you going? You're like, I'm going with Johnny. Was Johnny's mom home? You're like, yes.

You never. I never even had to tell my parents where I was going. I was. They. They literally, back then, they were like, get out of the house. Go ride your bike around. Get out of the house. You know what I mean? Like, go to your bike.

For sure. Our parents send us out of the house all the time.

All the time. They're like, go ride your bike. And so always, like me and my girlfriends, we'd jump on our bikes and ride to the mall or ride to the gas station. We were like in fifth or sixth grade, dude.

I remember riding the bike, my bike from our house, like three or four miles down a busy road on the side. Going to the Smith's grocery store and stealing candy. I would go to a 711 and I would steal candy.

Your mom found you in the Montgomery's driveway.

My mom ends up finding me in the Montgomery Ward's department store. And I'm trying on clothes and I see her and she sees me and I'm trying to be strong, but then I cry, break down. I run to her and I'm like.

Oh, I'm so sorry. You don't know how old you were.

I was like, eighth grade. Let's see, wait, eighth grade. Seventh grade. I was seventh grade. Cause I was going to. Yeah, seventh grade. We had just moved there seventh grade.

But that's scary though, because you didn't know where you were.

No, I was in a brand new city. I had no idea where. I couldn't have gotten to my house. I couldn't have gotten to any.

I bet she was a little scared and got kidnapped.

She was terrified. She told me later, she was like, oh my God, what have I done? My son has gotten kidnapped in a white van and he's gone forever. And I was like sitting there thinking, oh, I hope I get kidnapped. That would show her. So kids do weird shit. I did weird shit as a kid. But the difference.

So what do you do? Do you just try to like steer kids where they don't? Totally.

Like, I've started having conversations with her and it's been going good for the last Few years. Yeah.

What I realized with her is, like, when she starts opening up, and she'll be like, mom. And she'll start telling me about her and her friends. I'm like, okay, this is your in. And I'm like, oh, that's so cool. Oh, how did that go? Oh, what did they say? It's like you have to operate, like.

When they're present to what their issues are.

Well, no, when you're. When they're little, you can be like, hey, we're gonna go to the store. And you're just like, oh, hey, we're gonna go to a movie. And they operate on your agenda. And as they turn into teenagers, you operate on their agenda, and that's your window in. And so I'm like, ah. It's like you lose a little bit of that control, but it's. In order to gain that connection, I'm just constantly looking for my windows. I'm like, ooh, okay, let's hear. And like, literally she can just be like, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. And I'm like, I have to really focus because, like, she's so excited about, like, the funniest little things that I'm like, oh, this is so silly. You know, but she's just.

But this. I think the principle that we're getting at is we actually do know what we're doing.

Yeah. No, I mean, well, that's because we've started it.

We have some traction in her world.

You know what we both said at, though, is follow through.

Well, let me tell you what happens. I take her cell phone away, I store it away, and then do you know what happens? Her little sister Ruby hunts it down, finds the phone in one of my hiding locations, and then gives it back to Bailey.

Okay, when you were like, yelling at Bailey and you're like, give me your phone, Ruby goes, oh, I hate this part. And she puts a pillow over her head.

No. And I was like, really?

Yeah. And she goes, I hate this part. And I was like, oh, that's the saddest. And so I jumped in bed with Ruby and I was like, yeah, it's okay.

That really was happening.

Yeah. She literally goes, I hate this part. Like, it was like a horror flick that she's listening to on the other side.

And I was like, do you know why? Oh, so that's. Let's paint this out.

That's why she.

So you're in. You're in one room with Bailey or with Ruby, who's our 7 year old. You're laying in bed, getting ready for bedtime. I tell Bailey to give me your phone. It's time for bed. She refuses. She fights. She goes in a crazy mode. I start reaching for the phone. She hides it down her pants. She then takes out of her pants, and she throws it, and it almost hits me in the face and hits the wall. Then I spank her butt, and I give her two spanks, hard on the butt. She starts acting like I just beat her with a baseball bat.

She does the funniest thing, though, when I'm like, give me your phone. She's like, no. And she, like. She, like, engulfs it and lays on it. I'm like. And now she's like, that's what little.

Kids do with, like, clothes.

I know, but she's my. She's my size.

She's a lucky.

She's taller than me. And so she's like, five foot four. Yeah. Literally, like, she's taller than me now. And I'm like, I can't manhandle. I'm like. Literally, like, she. She does this, like, sumo squat on it and, like, lays on it. And I'm like, I physically can't even move you anymore. And I'm like.

So that's why. That's why Ruby goes and gets a phone. Because Ruby's feeling all kinds of, like, sadness for her sister.

Well, and then it's hard, too, because she does the weird, like, I'm gonna tuck it, and she's strong, and she grabs it, and I'm like, I'm not gonna fight you. So then I have to, like, take it when she's not looking. And then she'll.

I don't wait. I just go for it.

Take it. But then. But then I get in trouble because she's like, you don't trust me. You took it without asking. I'm like, because I had to take it when you're sleeping, because otherwise you're gonna, like.

I just go right after it when she's in the judo mode.

Well, you're twice her size, and you can get it from her.

So that's when Ruby went crazy.

So. No.

So, Ruby. Ruby. I didn't know she was saying that.

She's like, I hate this part.

And she puts a pillow over her ears.

Yeah. And I was like, aw. Cause she could hear you yelling. And then.

And then I hide the cell phone, and Ruby goes and hunts it down.

You know what? You shouldn't hide it in the same place.

I don't. I had it in one of three places. And Ruby Knows where all three are. Cause every time I. You know what's funny? I went to go take Bailey to school, and, like, she had lost her cell phone. Like, I took it away, and then I came back from, like, I saw. But she was so calm, and I was like, yeah, you knew what's going on?

She thought she.

I was like, you're being way too strong.

Did you have your phone? She's like, no.

She's like. And then she plays this card like, what did you do to my phone, dad? Did you lose my phone? And I'm sitting there looking at her.

This is making me feel guilty. You know how I knew she had it?

You hid my. You got your phone back. Then I look at Ruby and I'm like, you took the phone back?

No. Then I called her bluff, and I was like, well, bab, you lost it. I don't want to pay the bill, so I'm just gonna call at and T real quick and just let him know to go ahead and shut the phone off. And she's like, why would you do that? And I was like, well, I mean, I don't want to pay the bill. That's silly. So just. It'll take five minutes. Mom, don't call him. Why? Why do you care? We'll get you a new phone. And don't stress about it. Mom, don't do that. I'm like, you're lying. You have your phone.

Did you do this?

Yeah.

No, I don't.

And I go, give it to me right now. And she's like, no, I'm obviously not.

What do I do?

What do I do? I'm like, you're grounded. She's like, fine. I like being in my room.

I'm like, I didn't even know this. Yeah.

I literally was like, that's fine. So then the next day, I'm full of, like, threats and very little follow through. So then the next day I'm like, fine, I know you have your phone, and I'm still gonna shut it off. Have fun with that. And she's like, okay. And then I didn't shut it off. And damn it, like. Because then I'm like, can you shut it off? And then you have to pay like, a reenactment.

Why do you think it is? Why do you think it is that you don't fall?

I get so fired up that I just. Just in full of empty threats. And then I realized sometimes. Sometimes in my threats, I'm, like, punishing myself. Because then I'm like, now I gotta pay $350 to reactivate the phone because I couldn't take it away from her. Or I, like, send her to school. And I'm like, you can't have your phone. And then the whole damn nervous. I'm like, is she okay?

Maybe she.

Maybe something did happen. And then it's like torture for me. And every mom out there is laughing because you know it's true. So you're like, man, is there a punishment where it doesn't feel like you're punishing the parent as well? I don't know if it is. I feel like our parenting shows. It's always like, please help us.

I feel like we're actually sending out a helpline, like sending out a smoke signal for please help us with our parenting. You know what, though? Here's the deal. At the end of the day, let's move to some victories, though, okay? Some Victories are my 19 year old.

Oh, yeah. That's fun.

Parker. Parker and I are in a complete. Parker and I got a tattoo together. If you're on the video stream, you can see this. It's a. On the inside of my right arm. It's not a small tattoo. It's the entire forearm from, like, the crux of my elbow to clear down to my wrist.

It's a lion.

It's a huge lion.

I got the same lion.

It's like a Transformer's lion.

I put it on my chest as a chest plate.

Oh, it's so gorgeous. Right between your nipples.

I know.

All right, so not really.

Got real weird.

But this tattoo, which you can see on the video, me and my son got together, and it was funny cause I was not gonna tattoo my right arm at all. Now it's inevitable that it'll be sleeved also. But I was not going to tattoo my right arm.

Did you ever do color?

No, I don't like color.

Well, I think that. I mean, I think that'd be weird. Like, if you're gonna do color, you go all color.

If you're color. No, I don't like. I do color, actually. There's white on this one. Yeah, it's color, but it's black and white. It's color. It's white and black. That's all I'll do. And I'll have Jason.

I don't think I would do color. That would clash.

No, I don't like color. I don't like how it looks on my body. I mean, I've never had it on my body. I don't like color. So anyways, Parker and I decided to get a tattoo and Parker and I, over the last year. He was sitting there for Thanksgiving yesterday and we were having a talk about just where he was a year ago. I mean, a couple years ago my son wouldn't even talk to me. And this is my son, if you're not familiar with the show, like, I have a 19 year old son. His name's Parker James White. He and his mother Christy and I used to be married. Christy and I, we used to be married. Christy Lindholm, she remarried 14 years of Manshee with Larry and great woman. And we're in a good relationship right now. But Parker and I came back full circle.

But I will. I just wanted to say this really, really quick because I think that like there's such a difference from 18 to 19 and 19 to 20 because like big time, because like at 18 you're still in the, at home and high school. And the minute you're like 19 and on your own, like, it just changes. And you, even if you, when you're 19, you start to put on. I remember being 19 and all. I mean, I got engaged at 19, so I mean, all of a sudden you're like, you become an adult, you know, And I think that he's really like transitioned to becoming an adult and being accountable for his actions. And I think what happens is when you're 17 and 18 and you're feeling confined and you're trying to figure yourself out and so you probably do stupid shit. And all of a sudden when you're 19, you're like, okay, I gotta like act like a man or I gotta, I gotta grow up a little bit. And I think that those two years, I think people really kind of like reel it in a little bit. I don't know, maybe at least that's how I experienced life. I remember I felt like I went from like, like I just changed a lot from 19 to. Or from 18 to 20.

So we, I actually talked to Christy today for about 40 minutes. We were discussing the, the moment on stage with Parker and you and I at the Warrior Week for Women event that we ran this year with like 300, 300 women. And there was like basically an intervention with me and Christy. My ex wife and my son was completely altered. I feel like a big difference inside my relationship with Parker. I feel a difference in relationship with you. I was talking to Christy today. She feels a difference in relationship with her husband Larry. They've been together 14 years. Danielle and I have been together married for 15 years, but we Actually talked about taking that video, that two hour documentary video from stage, and we're gonna go public with it.

Really?

Yeah. And Christy's okay with it, Parker's okay, that we're gonna really give a message to divorced couples.

What are you gonna put it?

We're put it online and we're gonna run. We're gonna run ads soon. We're gonna share with the public about just this, like, what's possible for families, because there's so many families that are divorced now. I mean, you've never been divorced, but you're impacted by divorce big time. And you have a sister that's divorced, you had a brother that almost got divorced, you have another brother, probably should get divorced. And then we have like a whole bunch of, like, in my side, I have a sister that's divorced, I have a brother that's divorced, I have a sister that probably should have got divorced, and I have a sister that's contemplating divorce. Like, there's like all, like. I'm not saying she's actually contemplating, but just saying they're, like, in a rough patch. So, like, there's a lot of divorce around us, and divorce has become the game. It's over 50% in the United States right now.

Yeah.

So your experience throughout that was, like, part of your voice isn't gonna be important inside of this message when we're sharing, because a lot of women who are married, getting married or get married to a man who has child from.

Another relationship, I think that everybody. What happens and what happened, even in Warrior Women, is like, there was no hiding and there was no stories. Like, it's like everybody creates stories based on who the other person was and this and that, and it bleeds into the children. And the children are like, I don't know. I want to, I want to be, like, connected with this person. But based on how my mom's operating, even though she's not saying anything, I'm feeling like there's some weirdness against, you know what I mean? Against you or whatever the, the family or the situation is. And so having that on stage and we were like, literally, like, you just kind of exposed yourself in front of 300 women. And it was, like, interesting to see both sides of the story. And I, I, I kind of always, like, throughout Parker being little and stuff, like, I never was, like, super involved. I'd kind of just be like, Garrett.

Like, you were actually the one that was encouraging me, and I was not.

I don't know much about it. I just felt, felt like as a Woman. And as a mom, I'm like, don't let that go. There's no reason. There's no reason to let that go. You know? Like, you have a son. You want to at least put forth the effort, like, hey, I'm here. You know what I mean? And then I never saw her perspective until we were on stage. And I just was like, oh, my God. Like, she just felt so, like, abandoned by you and went into, like, protective mama mode. And, like, I literally felt like I was having, like, an outer body experience and neither person was right. And it just. What was. And I just was like. And even I went to dinner with her the next night, and she was like, I. She's like, I can't tell you how grateful I am for you. And I'm like, for why? And she's like, just for standing in your place and, like, not really judging me. And I'm like, I didn't really have anything to judge you off of. I didn't have the son. I didn't have the son that, like, had the husband that left me. I didn't have any of that. There was no reason for me to think anything of you or judge you. I didn't know you. And so it was just. It was just now I feel like we're in a really cool space. And I. I told Garrett, I'm like, this is the next chapter. And I kind of always felt like this is how it was gonna be.

Really?

Well, I'm like, supervisor.

I was like, oh, my God, this is.

I don't know if I, like, I'm super visual and I'll, like, see things. And I'm like, wow, that feels really real. And I remember, like, seeing Parker get married. And I remember, like, we were all there and, like, Christy was there and you were there, and everybody was there. And I remember feeling like, wow, I'm really. I remember feeling really connected to Parker. And I'm like, wow, we must have had more time with him or something. Like, I just got that feeling in my heart, like, we were all connected. So I knew. I didn't know how. I didn't know he was going to move to California. I just, like, knew that we were going to be a part of his world and that we were all going to be connected based. It was like, in dreams, I have, like, feelings that feel so real to me. And. And so that was one of them. And I was like, I think we're gonna be good. And so then just kind of see how everything's played out. I'm like, oh cool, this is the next chapter.

I mean it's been incredible. Like getting the tattoo with Parker was his idea and he wanted to move here. He dropped out of college, came to work here for Wake Up Warrior and has done an amazing job. He's been here less than 12 months. Radical alteration. Youngest kid to graduate from Warrior Week. Youngest kid to grad. Youngest man to graduate from Kingdom Challenge. Currently in our certified trainer program in 2019, launching our millennial program for young teens. And here we are, we're about to launch this documentary. We're going to share a clip from a two hour documentary with inward interviews with Danielle and Christy, my ex wife, my son Parker, myself, the kids involved, Christy's husband Larry. And we're going to share this with the marketplace because we just feel like there are so many couples who are in and impacted by divorce and the part that nobody's considering is the impact on their relationships for the unhealthy reality of their past marriages. And I feel like there's trickles down.

Like you never like realize, like I never really thought about that. But like, yeah, you move on. But then even talking to our friends Katie and Jesse yesterday, and he has a son and this and this, like you never know where that's going to trickle down now. Like his son who never got to connect with him, maybe he looks at like his relationship's different and something that can be like stopped in its tracks, you know what I mean? And so it's behaviors that we don't realize can affect so many generations based on two people just getting rid of their stories and letting go and like coming to a peaceful term and building a new relationship and getting, getting rid of all those past stories. And so I think that the, that, that, that is true is that people think small and they don't think of the generations that they could actually be impacting.

I mean it's a, it's a, it's a life. I mean I, I sat on the phone today, I told you I was on the phone today with Chris for 40 minutes talking about this and rolling this out to the public. And that's probably more in one 40 minute call. That's probably more than I talked to her between then. We got divorced when Parker was nine months old. What did she say until he was 17 or 18? That's more than we talked in like 16 years. We talked more than that today in one phone call. What'd you say?

What did she say? Was she like, oh God, oh yeah.

She'S all about it. Yeah, she Thinks it's great. She has a huge. She's like, listen, I feel like in my heart, like family matters and family is redefined nowadays, but family's being destroyed.

An attempt to keep Parker. She was losing him because she wasn't. You guys weren't allowing us to have a relationship as a whole together.

Yeah.

So people I think go into that like, oh, I'm protecting my kid. But you're like, because you are so mad or so bitter and not dealing with your own shit and your own stories, it ultimately is actually holding you back. And I think that a lot of like divorcees, like, they don't want to like talk bad about the other person in front of the kids, you know what I mean? But the kids know. And I'm sure there are certain situations, like I look at my, my sister and her ex and he seems a bit loony.

He's fucking crazy.

So then I'm like, that may not be something that can be re. Like they. That might not be.

It's not even that he's fucking crazy. He's just like lazy as shit and he's these guys out of his mind.

No, literally, he's like down. He's gone too deep. And I'm like, like a situation like that, I'm like, yeah, you probably can't ever, like, you can't be together as a whole family. Do you know what I mean? Like there's.

And you know what though? Even in those situations, I swear that it is possible.

You think?

Yes, but both people have to be. Both two people have to become radically responsible. And that's what happened on stage with Christy and I as we became radically responsible. I wasn't even planning on it. It was just part of one of our events that we were running and I was a lead trainer and I threw myself under the bus. And you were willing to be part of that. My mom was there, Christy Parker, myself, and then my trainers that I had trained, that worked for Wake Up Warrior ended up processing me, coach Kevin and coach Sam and. And next thing you know, this thing turned into. I mean, it was the most amazing, one of the most amazing things I've ever had happen to me and one of the most painful things I've ever emotionally gone through in my life. So although we may not be figuring out the 11 year old thing and we're sort of figuring out the seven year old thing, we're starting to figure out the 19 year old thing from a previous relationship.

Can you believe you have a 19 year old?

No, it is weird. I'm 42 years old.

I have a 19 year old. But if you have another one, then they'll be 20 years old apart.

That's weird. Are you hinting to something?

No, I'm not. I'm just saying.

You're hinting to the fact that you'd like to be pregnant.

Possibilities are endless.

Well, yeah, my youngest would be if we had another baby in the next year. We would.

20 years.

I would have a 20 year gap between my first child my. And my. Whatever my next child would be.

I'm trying to think how old my oldest. 20 years old.

46.

No, he's got to be 40. 57.

Not 57. He looks like he's 57.

He's gotta be. No, I know.

He's late 40s.

I guarantee he's like 40, like 46, 47. He's got to be like 48. And my youngest sister is 25, so.

That'S like 20 year gap. Yeah, it's the same thing.

Yeah.

But I was telling Parker that last night. I was like, if me and Danielle have another baby, like you're gonna end up being 20 years older or more than your youngest sibling.

I had.

That's crazy. I mean, he'll be like a 40 year old man by the time, like that child was like 20.

I'm still young though. I can.

You're 35, babe.

I know.

It's not like. Do you know that I just was like, I was just in a conversation about today with one of our clients and they have a. She has a client. Sometimes I feel like 55 and has twins that are 8 years old. Wow. Does that mean she had twins when she was 47?

You know what's so funny? And in California, like, I. Cause I. My. We have an 11 year old. Like, I feel like. Cause I started. Started so young. I'm like a decade younger than most women.

When we are a decade younger. Everybody in Orange county doesn't get married until they're 30.

I know. And then they start.

You got married when you were 19?

Yeah. A lot of my clients and friends that live here, they're literally just starting to get pregnant. Like 33, 34, you know, their first.

Babies and we're like, you know, already two down. Yeah.

And I'm already like, man, I just got to the easy part of kids. They're both in school, they're older, but I'm like, ah, but I'm still young and I might as well just.

Are you saying you want to have another baby?

I don't know I'm not announcing anything.

Are you saying you want to have another baby? Are you saying you'd like to practice to have another baby tonight?

Let's see where things go in the next few days.

Are you ready to practice having a baby tonight?

Let's do it. All right.

That's the end of the show. We are heading out to the rest of our date night. Hope you guys have a great rest of your week again. If you are wanting more of the video and audio and actual text transcripts to this show, you can head to dateyourwifenow.com and or check out Danielle's blog@dkwstyling.com and if you are looking down the path of the Warrior's way to having it on your man listening to show, head on over to warriorbook.com we have a journey over there for you we'd love to introduce you to. Otherwise we'll see you guys next week. Have a great wish week. We are out.