Parenting Decisions & Communication | Date Your Wife | EP 058

The show starting officially right this minuto. All right, you in there. All right, so listen, here's the deal. This is your boy Garrett Jay White, the founder of Wake up Warrior and CEO of DKW Saving. And welcome to the date your wife podcast.

Are you gonna start acting like the CEO, or are you just gonna kick that out?

Nope, nope. I just take the claim of CEO. I don't actually do CEO. I just take the claim.

You know what? If you're not gonna do the dirty work, quit taking the title.

Listen, I do the dirty work all the time.

No, you don't.

I do. I do the dirty work all the time. Like, let's not pretend like I don't do the dirty work. I do the dirty work. All right, so listen, here's the deal. We're coming live on Facebook. If you're on Facebook, you're watching this. Wonderful. We'd love to have you here. You can ask some questions live in today's show. This is the second time this week we're actually coming live. We're recording this pre. Early. We're recording this. This show actually, like, three days. Three days before the actual show will release in itunes, Google Play, Stitcher, SoundCloud, YouTube, and also@dateyourwifenow.com and exclusively early on Facebook at Wakeup Warrior, the fan page. So listen, we're gonna get into a topic tonight. Here's the deal. We are. We went to dinner tonight at an amazing place in Laguna. The name is SK. You're horrible. Seastar.

Yeah.

Sea Star is the name of the restaurant in Laguna Beach, California. We went there on date night tonight, and it's amazing. We've been there. We've been to this place probably like, 50 times or so.

I don't know.

Probably probably like 50 times. Anyways, the owner of that restaurant was there with his wife. They were working tonight, and he made a comment about my story on Instagram here a few days ago about you being pregnant.

Oh, my God.

I was doing some funny shenanigans at the pregnant store.

We were in the pregnant store. I finally, like, was like, okay, it's time. I can't fit in any of my pants, and it's too cold to wear little summer dresses. Like, I need some pants.

Is that hard to, like, get to a place where you have to, like, acknowledge, my pants don't fit anymore.

It just gets uncomfortable. And so you're finally, like, whatever. So anyways, I was like, let's go. There was a pee in the pod, which, if you've been pee in the pod. That's the name of the pee in the pod is. And I swear, when you're not pregnant, you walk by that store and you shudder a little bit and you're like, oh, maternity clothes. And. But I was like, you know what they have? I mean, they have some designer jeans that are like maternity. And I'm like, I just gotta have pants. Like, I literally, I'm. I'm going to work in leggings and I'm not that far along. Like, you can't go to work in leggings until you're like, at the nine month mark. And then you have the leggings pass, but before that, like, it's too early. So anyways, we're sitting there in the dressing room.

Is there a rule to the leggings legit? Is this like a thing? You can't do it?

No. Like, you just like, if you like towards the end, like, I kid you not, like the last month, you're like, fuck it, I'm wearing sneakers and leggings. And if you don't like it, you can let your hair fry off, you stupid, stupid bitch. But you're not really mad at your client. You're just like, you're just fat and miserable. I shouldn't say bad, but you're just like big and miserable. And. But you're. You think like, oh, I'm gonna slow down. I'm not gonna like, work my life. I'm gonna, I'm gonna take maternity leave early. And then you're like, literally like watching paint dry. You're like, when's this baby coming out? And so for me, I find it better towards the end. Just like, to, to pace yourself, but to keep busy because it gets really uncomfortable. And in the end, like, you're like, I don't care. I'm wearing flip flops because my feet are too damn slow woolen to, to fit in anything. Or like sneakers that stretch. And like, nobody tells you this before you have kids. Like, you don't know your foot size goes up a shoe.

And so anyway, okay, so like, listen, I mean, I'm sitting there at the pee in the pod and I'm having a conversation with myself because you won't talk to me and I'm asking if you want to snoogle.

I'm literally trying to get my ass to.

But you don't want the snoogle, do you? Why are you denying the snoogle?

No, I'm sitting there.

You want the Snoop?

No, I'm sitting there and I'm like, trying on a bunch of pants, and it's like, you kind of get to this place where you're like, well, it's just gonna get worse from here. Like, I'm only four months. Like, it's not gonna get any better. So, like, shimmy these pants on and, like, get on with it. So I'm, like, literally, like, jumping, and I'm trying to get into these pants. Because maternity pants, if you can visualize some of them don't, like, unbuttoned. So, like, if you can get him past your bum, you're like, ah, I'm in. I'm in. It's like a. You gotta, like, really. You really gotta, like, shimmy in. So I'm in there, and I'm in the dressing room, and I'm, like, refusing. I'm like, I'm not getting a bigger size. These are going on. And I'm, like, shimmying into him, and Garrett's like, do you wanna snoogle? And there's, like, this pillow in the dressing room.

It's awesome. The snoogle is awesome.

And I'm like. I'm looking down at this pillow as I'm shimmying into these pants. I'm like, I do not want a snoogle, babe. And he's like, do you know what a snoogle is? And I was like, I don't want to snoogle.

You want to snoogle?

No. And then he's like, do you know these lights in here have dimmers? And I was like. At that point, I was just like, shut the fuck up. And then he's like, babe, are you sure you don't want to snoogle? I was like, oh, listen.

So here's the deal. Like, the body pillow thing is intense. And, like, here's the deal. You can't be a married businessman with children if you don't have children. So, like, at some point, you've got to get children to be a married businessman with children, which is the entire stand of Wake up, Warrior. And so the only two ways you.

Can get it, You're a married businessman, you have to have children.

Well, if you're not inside it, if you're a married businessman with children, that implies you have children, not a dog or a fucking cat, which means guinea pigs and cats and goldfish don't count. By the way. Side note, how funny is it when we think back to the time when you think that your dogs are actually children?

I never thought my animals were you did. No, I never did.

You did. You acted like you're. Listen, we live in a place where people push their dogs around and fucking strolls.

I always wanted children. I never, ever. I love animals. And I still have one of my original children. One of my original.

Exactly what you just said. You just said, my original child. You treated our weenie dogs like children. In the beginning.

I mean, I. No, I didn't just acknowledge it. I could not, like, live by the code. I cannot leave my kid in a bathroom with a pee pad. I mean, that would be great, but.

Listen, I realize there's some quite distinct differences, and you also don't throw leftovers from dinner into a bowl for your child, so. But nonetheless, like, let's admit, though, in the beginning, the first children that you have are dogs. This happens for a lot of people. I don't think it's a bad thing.

I know where you're going with this.

But I'll tell you where I'm going with this. Where I'm going with this is to be a married businessman with children. Married means that you have a partner that you were committed to. Children means that you have children. And this trifecta of insanity is literally a suicide mission. And only two outcomes can happen from this. One, you win. Two, you lose.

What do you win?

This is what we're still figuring out. We're still figuring out what we win. All right, so listen, like, think about it, though. How much more complicated is life with kids?

I mean, I think, like, what? You don't have perspective until you have kids? And then, like, when you do have kids, you're like, oh, my God. Like, at least for young moms, you can maybe relate to me. You're like, I remember when going to the grocery store was so easy. Just in, out, grab some bread, and go home. And then when you have little kids, you're like, oh, my God. And it's funny because they're like. They're literally like, diving out of the shopping cart. And you think, like, every time you're naive enough to be, like, it's fine. I'm just going in to grab a few things. And then you're like, dear Lord. But as you get, like, I feel like as I'm on my third Baby, I'm 35 or a little bit older, like, I've gotten wiser. I've gotten smarter. Now I just know better. I'm like, no, I'm gonna sit at home and play with my kids and do whatever and send the nanny or the housekeeper or whatever. To go do my errands and do all that shit. I used to get a babysitter to go run my own errands. And then I was like, I used to stay home, play with my kids. So it's all about. You kind of figure it out as you go.

There's a lot less stress, for sure. I mean, like, we would sit in a situation. Like, there was. I look back to when we were first married and we didn't have kids. I had my son, but he lived with his mother, and you and I didn't have any children. And so he was hardly with us at all. And, like, I can't figure out how we were so stressed out, because we. I remember thinking, oh, shit, I'm so stressed out. And then I had kids, and all of a sudden everything changed.

I don't ever remember being stressed out when we didn't have kids. I just remember, like, we kind of just did our own thing. Like, I remember during the week, I'd work late and you'd work late, and we'd go out on the weekends. We were kind of like homebodies. And I think when you have kids, you kind of get to this point. You're like, we should have done more.

Like, you do think you should do more.

You, like, have this, like, reality set in. We're like, oh, my God, we're never going on vacation the rest of our lives. Like, because even if you can, like, afford to travel and whatnot, like, for a mom, when you have young children, like, the idea of. And my kids are even getting older, but the idea of, like, leaving your kids more than, like, four or five days, like, I can't do it. Like, it's. It's hard. And then it's never going to be the same. Even if you bring your nanny on vacation with you, it's never, ever, ever the same as when you didn't have kids. And so you're just like, all right, this next 20 years, like, here we go. And then it's funny, I was talking to my mom, and she's. I mean, her kids are. I mean, they're all grown. We're all grown.

How old is your oldest brother? He's like, 50. Is he 50 yet?

I don't know. I have five kids in my family. I don't know.

He's older than me. I turned 43 this summer. He's like, 48.

He's gotta be almost 50.

Looks like he's 70.

And then I have a sister who's 25. Almost.

Yes.

So we Got a big range. But anyways, I remember my mom, like, telling me, she's like, you know what? It's so crazy. Like, even when your kids are married and like, in having kids, like, you think that stress and like a. Being a mom goes away. She's like, but it doesn't. Like, even when they're married, you're still like, I hope they're making good decisions. Like, I hope she's like, so you're always a mom. Once you're a mom, you're always a mom. And I was like, oh, shit. But it's like, you would never want anything different. Once you are a mom, you're just like, I can't imagine my life without my children. So is this a parenting show or.

Listen, here's the thing that, here's the thing that I'm getting to is that, like, I sat in a situation as a businessman and I, you know, it's one thing, it's one thing to build a business and have nothing else to worry about, but building a business. It's another thing to build a business and then get married.

I think the kids.

Right, but wait, wait, wait. And then it's a whole other conundrum to build a business, get married, have babies, but not have a baby, have multiple babies, and then to raise the babies and then make a decision inside of the insanity of middle school to have another baby. But I'm excited. I'm excited to have a baby, but my mind does go to weird places with this. I have an almost 20 year old. He'll be 20 on April 4th. I have a 12 year old who just turned 12 here a few days ago.

You have a 20 year gap.

I have a 7 year old who will be 8 on April 4th. And then we have a newborn coming in July. And this means that I literally have a 20 year gap between my oldest child and my youngest. This makes me feel. This makes me. I do this weird math thing. I started. Well, yeah, I started thinking about, I think about when she's 16. When she's 16 years old. When she's 16, I will be 43. 53. I'll be 50. I'll be 60 years old.

Yeah, but you know what?

Like, I'll be like 60 years old.

I have a feeling, like, it sounds old, but I guarantee when we're like in our 50s, we're gonna be like, I don't feel 50. Like, you know what I mean? So age is relative and a number is relative. And I think that we, like, think that we're like, oh, my God. But when you're there, it's like, ah. And I always knew, like, I started young and I always knew. I don't know, Like, I remember being pregnant with even Ruby, our youngest one, right now thinking, like, I want one more, but I don't. I kind of want to wait. Like, I don't. Like, I felt like I just started so young. I was like, I don't want to be done so early with having kids, you know? And I think that women start having kids and there's always like, I don't care what age you are, you could start having kids at like 25 or 35. And women always have this, like, mentality, like, I just got to pump them out. For the next six years, I'm going to be pregnant, I'm going to get all three out and I'm going to raise them and la la. And I just. I don't know, I. I had two and they were four years apart. And even that, I was like, I don't know, I just kind of like to sit and enjoy each one. And it wasn't necessarily on like a time restraint or. I don't know. I hear women all the time are like, oh, I'm, you know, I got to. I got to hurry this up because I'm getting older and I'm like, at that point I can understand. But don't just have kids to have kids, you know, like, do it because it's like something you want to do. And I don't know. I don't know. So we're going to.

I know exactly. We're going to go with this. Here's what happens with the kids. The kids get older. Today we found ourselves in a teacher conference. We found ourselves in a teacher conference with all three of the teachers from the grade that my daughter is in.

Does this show in parenting or communication?

It is. It's on the communication of parenting. So we find ourselves getting called to the principal's office. And the challenge is, is that my daughter is not getting good grades because she never turns in her homework. Now, this is our topic, Parenting decisions and communication with our children. And we're gonna talk about what happened this afternoon. So this afternoon I walk in, my wife is sitting there. My daughters are in the hallway at the school, both Ruby and Bailey. Danielle is in the classroom with three teachers from the sixth grade. There's only three sixth grade classes inside the school, and Danielle is having a conversation with all three of the teachers. This was scheduled by the principal of the school in regards to My daughter Bailey, who's 12, and her current grades, or should I say lack thereof. Now talk to me about your grade philosophy as a parent.

You know, when I was, like, towards the end, I was fourth in line of five kids, and I swear to God, my parents were just like, please survive. And I remember they wouldn't really put any kind of restraints or accountability or consequences if I didn't get good grades. I remember I tried to, like, forge grades and trick my parents, and they knew. And my mom. I don't ever remember getting punished, but I remember my mom just being like, you're a dummy, or, like, saying something super rude and negative. And I don't know, maybe that's just a story that stuck in my head that she said one time, and I'm carrying it for the rest of my life. I don't really know.

Probably you should go to Tony's event for that.

Yeah. I don't know, but I just remember, like, thinking my mom would be, like, irritated. But I never got disciplined or got taught the importance of learning. And it's so funny, as an adult, like, I always was like, I don't know what I want to go into, so why do I. I don't want to go to college. Like, my parents are entrepreneurs. Neither of them went to. And I was like, you guys are doing great. So my argument was, like, you guys barely graduated high school, so as long as I graduate high school, I'm not, like, a total failure. Like, that's literally how I thought. And my mom would be, like, irritated that I would get bad grades. But I'd always had this philosophy of, like, you don't have a leg to stand in, and you're doing well, so I'm sure I'm gonna be fine. And it wasn't. It's not until later that I realized the importance of learning, because, like, owning my own business and, like, doing my own thing, it's like, you have to have a love for learning, and you have to learn to learn.

Yes.

And so I think I didn't understand concept, and it wasn't necessarily about grades. It's about building good habits and patterns and. And that kind of thing. And I think I thought as an adult, I don't have to learn anymore. And, like, some people. Some adults may take on that mindset, but now, like, seeing, like, the person that I can become by learning, I'm like, oh, my God, like, I wish I would have became a better learner when I was young. And so even though, like, we'll say to our Daughter. We're like, you don't have to go to college. I still want to instill the importance of learning, to love, to learn.

But you didn't give. Let's be honest. When we're dating, you're taking, like, you're taking pottery classes, and it's the shittiest pottery I've ever seen. You and your friend Joselyn are not even trying.

You're not giving.

Like, you, like, took play doh and you put it on a thing, and.

You didn't give a shit. I didn't value any education. It was just like, I guess, like, literally when I graduated, I was telling Bailey today as we're sitting there in parent teacher conference, and I said, bailey, I know you're super passionate about singing. And I said, and maybe you want to do that in your career. And I said, and that's great. I said, guess what? In junior high, it's such a pivotal time for you. I'm like, I remember being in junior high, and I really wanted to try out for, like, dance and cheer in high school, but I wasn't great with my grades. And then when it came down to it, like, I just didn't have enough motivation. And when it came down to, like, tryouts, I couldn't try out because I didn't have good grades. And so high school, those patterns and behaviors of learning and getting medium grades continued. And I never did sports. And who knows what I would have pursued had I have done that or how would that have shaped my life? And I said, so singing to you is important. Like, junior high is so important to set. Set those goals, to have good grades as you go into high school. I said, any high school you go into, there, there's a standard just like sports, of, like, being in drama or in choir or whatever it is. You have to have decent grades to get into it. And I said, so I know, like, hanging out with your friends is awesome, because I know that's why she's getting bad grades. I said, but if you really, really want to pursue this, you have to get good grades. And now, not when you decide to go into high school. And she was like, okay. And that was something I always regretted. Like, go in junior high, like, thinking, like. And I'd always blame my parents and be like, God, why didn't my parents push me to do more? And I can be stubborn, and I get. I was probably hard to raise from what my mom has told me, but there was just no consequences for not getting good grades. And so as we sat Bailey down Today, it was kind of like limiting social activities because that's what she thrives in, and that's what she loves. She's like a girl version of Garrett. She's very social. She's so, like. She's just witty. She's like. Literally, she looks like me and is a girl version of Garrett. And so I just was like, you have to set a good foundation for yourself. And I think we just have to monitor it more with her.

I mean, listen, the only reason I got good grades in high school and the only reason I got good grades in college was because it was always linked to one thing. If you don't get good grades, you. You do not play football. The end. Like, it's not like I gave a shit about, like, making money. I didn't think I needed to be educated. I graduated from college having read five books. My first point on this with us is that we as parents have a very different philosophy about education with our children.

Think, like, you got good grades, and you probably learned better.

I got B minuses, and I learned how to cram for tests, which I would agree are very, very good skills for learning.

But you graduated from high school.

I mean, college, and I graduated from college.

So I feel like you have a better education than I have a degree in P.E. but still, you have a better education.

Which, by the way, is a very healthy thing for Warrior.

And you know what? Like, you love learning. And I've, like, since I've met you, you, like, just love consuming information.

But I didn't like that in the beginning. I wanted to lift weights, chase girls, play football. That's all I cared about. I didn't care about anything.

You had to have some kind of foundation to stay in weights and football.

True.

So my only problem is my passion.

For learning did not come until I read the book Rich Dad, Poor dad. As a PE teacher, I read this book in 2001, 18 years ago, I read Rich Dad, Poor Dad. I'm reading this book, and I'm like, what the fuck is this? There's this whole other world that opens up to me. Then I get a passion for learning. Then I cannot stop learning. I'm addicted to it, obsessed with it, cannot consume enough. So do you think there's a point that Bailey comes to that on her own then, and do we just let her have her time?

Still have to instill good foundations? I'm telling you, like, for me, I always had the story of, like, I can't pay attention. I never chose to pay attention. There was nothing that Motivated me to actually want to learn. And the better I. The bigger, the more I love to learn, the more I'm like, oh, like things become easier in life. Like, you're smarter and so it's. You still. Even if she values social activities and all this, like, I think there, there's so much, like, I don't know, so much is taught in just like doing homework and having grades. I agree.

But here's the thing I get to. The only reason I did homework was because of sports. I don't feel like we have any leverage with Bailey.

Yes, we do.

Her cell phone. That's the only leverage I can think of.

Her leverage. Like, I told her I felt like I got through to her today. I was like, you like to sing, right? She's like, yes. And I'm like, if you have any chance of going to. She wants to go to this big performing arts school called osha. And I was like, you not only have to sing, but you've got to have sing. You've got to have good grades. Like, it's not good enough to be good at one thing anymore. Like, you have to be good at multiple facets. And, and that's just, that's just how life works now. And I think she was like, okay. I'm like, so if you don't get good grades in junior high, like say bye to OSHA or any kind of performing arts school in high school. And she's like, okay. But then it also has to be followed up with like a consequence. Like, that's which we created because, like, because it's like one thing. And I liked how the teacher was like, listen, I want to lose weight, but tomorrow I'm still going to eat. Yeah.

But we put. Let's talk about what happened. So I walk in, the girls are sitting in the hallway. My wife is sitting with the three teachers from the sixth grade. I walk in, Danielle and them already been having a conversation. I sit down, I get the update on where we are. I gather data. Now I notice one thing with parents I've experienced parents who no matter what their children do, their children are always right. Right. They always take their kids side.

I think because there's a lot of guilt in being a parent that if your kid's screwing up, you feel like you have to defend it a little bit.

There's nothing to defend if your kid's fucking up.

But I'm just telling you, I think in the back of like minds of parents, there's always like, it's like they want to be like, but I. But I'm doing everything I can. Like, yes, but really. And I think that's probably a teacher's fear going into a conversation like that. Like, hey, like, we're not trying to put blame on you. We just really care for your child.

Well, I think parents are pussies. Like, most parents are, like, total pussies when it comes to dealing with their kids. Like, there's all this idea that somehow your kids are always right. I think I. Hey, I have a degree in pedagogy. Stop it.

Okay?

I did teach.

No, you didn't.

I did teach.

You did your student teaching.

I did. Stop. I did teach. I am a PE Teacher with a second degree. Second or secondary education certificate.

Live by the code. Did you teach school besides, like, your student teaching? Live by the code.

I didn't do a whole lot of teaching outside of football coaching and student teaching.

So you did student teaching.

It's still fucking teaching, okay? So I'm teaching, and I'm having this experience, and I'm not enjoying it at all. So I end up doing something totally different. But I come into the meeting, and so I have a respect for the teachers because the teachers are constantly on the defense. Because most parents take their kids side regardless. They're like, my kid is right all the time. Well, here's a harsh reality. Your kids are fucking up most of the time. You know this. You know how they act at home. You know how they behave with you. Well, guess what? They're not acting like Prince Charming out in the marketplace. So I assume that my daughter is amazing, because I know she is. And at the same time, I know my daughter is also a shithead. So I'm coming into this meeting saying, I know my daughter's a shithead. I know she lies to me at times. I know she fucks things up. And also, I know she's amazing. And I also know these teachers are doing their best to try to navigate and guide my daughter in the classroom. So I come in and we gather the facts. The facts are what? Give me a drum. I'm giving you a drum roll. They tell us what she's not. She's getting Ds in some of her classes.

But you know what?

Fs in some of her classes. Cs in some of her classes.

I'll take some accountability for this because she literally, like, Bailey would be like, I didn't ever check her homework, and she's getting older, and I didn't want to feel like. I kind of, like, think, like, hey, if you don't.

You don't even like homework.

No. I feel like if you're lying to me, then you'll suffer the consequences. Like, I don't. I got to this place. As they get older as children, you're kind of. Listen, I have to kind of let you suffer the consequences. I remember even, like, in, like, third grade, like, the teacher was like, bailey's not turning in her homework. And I go hold her in at recess. And she's like, really? And I was like, yes. She needs to understand the consequences of not turning in her homework because she didn't have a cell phone. And, like, no playdates were just, like, kids in the street riding on their bikes and whatnot. So then I go hold her in a play at recess, and she's like, okay. And she did that a few times. She's like, bailey started turning in her homework again. And I was like, yes, that's right. But my point being is, like, I think I. Like, I knew. I knew, like, I'd be like, bailey, is your homework done? She'd be like, yeah, I did it in study group. Or she just, like, every night. Like, I'd very rarely see her doing homework. And I. But I'd ask her every night and say, is your homework done? She said, yes. And I just. I kind of knew she lied. So it's like, I remember my mom, like, asking me, like, a straight question one time in high school about, like, something being out with my friends too late, and I was like, no, I didn't do that, Mom. And she looks me straight in the eyes and goes, you're a liar. And I was like, how'd she know? And, like, I'm sure parents, like, always know. You know what I mean? But anyway, we gotta wrap this show up. We gotta. No, listen.

I know. Like, the thing I'm gonna wrap to is what happened. So I come to the facts with the teacher, and this is the baseline of my life at the highest level. I try my very best. I'm committed to this. Sometimes I'm perfect at it. Sometimes I fuck it up. But I'm getting much better than I've ever been before, which is, like, I'm gonna get to the fuck facts of what's actually happening. And the fact was, my daughter is doing well in tests. She's doing well in school. She just never turns any homework in, ever.

And it's hard to get good grades.

When you don't turn home in ever. So she has D's and C's because not. She's dumb. Not. She doesn't need help. No. She just doesn't turn her homework in ever. So all three teachers say. I say, so the problem is she doesn't turn in homework. And they're like, yes. I was like, is it the problem that you experience? My daughter is dumb. Does she struggle with this? Is this, like, is she struggling in knowledge? Like, they're like, no, she's very smart. She just never turns her homework in. I was like, okay. So we come up with a game plan together. And the game plan was she needs to have grades at a certain level by Fridays, every Friday. And her teacher is even saying, no, no, no, we're not gonna report on it. You're gonna have her report on it to you. Now, when I grew up in middle school, I had to bring a note home on Fridays, and if the note said I was naughty, I didn't go get a play all weekend. If it said I was nice and I got to go play. So I was a kid who had that problem too. So then we come to the decision, and I invite my daughter into the room, and we have a hard conversation with my daughter sitting right there. She's feeling all kinds of pressure. Her three teachers are there. Me and Danielle are there, five adults. And my daughter. And I came pretty direct at her. She is. And I came direct at her. And we came to the bottom line, and we created a very clear consequence, which I've done in a whole bunch of areas with her, and it's worked really well.

Are you gonna follow through?

I've been following through with the phone all the time. We don't get in the car by 6:45. There's no Starbucks. We don't get in the car by 6:50. There is no cell phone. I take the phone away.

Personality. And I, like, lately, it's been good for me, honestly, that you've been following through more.

I follow through like a motherfucker. Now.

I try to follow through with her and, like, let me just tell you how it goes down. She's now taller than me, and I'm like, four months pregnant. And, like, the other day I was like, give me your phone. I'm like, I told you. Like, I can't remember what it was about. I'm like, I told you. You're being a little butt head. You're back talking like, give me your phone. I told you you lost a date. She's like, no. And I'm chasing her. I'm literally, like, running around the dining room table. And I'm like, give me the phone. I'm like, I'm pregnant. Give me the phone. She's like, no, no. And she's taller than me, and she's, like, holding it above my head. She's like, no, no. And I'm like, jumping. I'm like, give me the phone. And then I'm like, ah. And then I, like, bump in her. I'm like, oh, Bailey. And she's all, oh, are you okay? And I was like, ha, ha. And I took the phone.

So I have a new strategy for this. I have an app that we're gonna. I have an app we're gonna download on her phone, which means I can shut her phone off at any time.

It's weird to be, like, jumping. I'm like, I can't get it.

Yes, yes, yes. Now, listen. The final piece was, my daughter's sitting there, and I commit with her and her teachers, and I make her tell her teachers what her commitment is. And at the end of it, I said, listen here. On Fridays, you're gonna come to the general's tent, you're gonna bring your laptop, you're gonna give me a report on your grades. If any of your grades are below B minus, you lose your phone. And no friends for the whole weekend. Clear cut. Friday's grades have to be up. BN I was like. I looked at her, I said, do you think you're dumb? She's like, no. I looked at her teacher, do you think Bailey's dumb? They're like, no. I looked at Bailey and I said, bailey, I don't think you're dumb either. Bailey, why are you not getting good grades? Cause I don't turn in homework. Exactly. Which is a game of laziness and commitment. You wanna spend more time with your friends than screwing around on Instagram and than you do want actually doing your homework. So the game is simple. Turn in your homework, get good grades. If you get a B minus, you're fine. If you get less than a B minus, you lose your phone and your friends for the weekend. She was very clear about this. Teachers were clear about this. We were clear about this.

Bailey's hard, too, though, because what I've noticed with her is, like, she'll be like, can I hang out with friends? Can I hang with her friends? Can I hang out with friends? And then finally, when she, like, knows it's off the table, it's almost like she doesn't care. And you're like, huh?

Have you noticed that she's nicest? She is listening. She turns into, like, sugar and spice. And everything nice without herself.

She's defiant. And then finally her cell phone turns.

Her into her crazy.

And then you, like. But then it's like, literally like, she, like, doesn't care. And you're like, this is supposed to.

Be a punishment, but she actually is nicer. Which I actually like her being punished from her cell phone because she's a.

Nice person, because she's not into the drama.

So I'm gonna wrap up the show with the following idea. Here's the deal. Your kids are not always right. They're not.

They're not.

No. And most of the time, as a parent, when you try to defend your kids from the consequences of life, what you're doing is really defending your own ego and your own self doubt as a parent. And possibly the greatest gift that you could give your kids is to confront your children with the facts in front of the people that matter. Today I did that with my daughter and her teachers. I could have had the conversation with the teachers and then implemented. I was like, I asked the teachers, can I bring my daughter back in here? We're gonna close this down together as a group with her because we all want her to win, but she has to know.

We'll give you guys an update here in, like, the next couple weeks. So the. So our parenting communication tips for today is have clear expectations of what's gonna happen and a consequence if it doesn't happen.

And I've been doing this in the last, like, three, four months. Very well. I was shitty about it before. I've been doing it really well.

You got a toothpick in your mouth.

Yep, I got a toothpick like an old guy, and it's working. So that's all we got for you on today's show. We're gonna head off on the rest of our date night. For those who are live with us on Facebook, thank you so much for being with us live.

My last tip is.

You're amazing. And for everybody on the ipod.

Our ipod teaches children the importance of learning. Because as you're an adult, if you want to get ahead in the game or just become an overall better human being, life is about learning. So if you can teach your children to love, to learn, they will have more success in their life. And if you don't, just hope they figure it out later in life. And for me, starting a business and wanting to do more in life, I had to kind of like, go back to figuring out how to learn. So that would be my tip of the week.

Well done.

Let's do this. We're going on date night.

We're going on date night. So here's the deal. If you want to learn more about some amazing things that are happening with Wake Up Warrior, you can head to warriorbook.com where you can pick up a copy of our books for free. We'll send those to you with just the cost of shipping handling. Also starting here at the time this show releases, we will have available in the marketplace the new be the man 30 day challenge. So if you've not experienced that, you can learn more about that@bethemanchallenge.com, which is inspired off of the book that we now have over 40,000 copies of this book that have gone out since it released here just about eight months ago. And I would love to have you a part of that. You can check that again@bethemanchallenge.com and or head over and pick the books up at WarriorBook.

And if you're a girl and you love my hair, natural beaded rose does have a hand tied hair extension line coming out in the next couple months. And you can pre book at my salon. So there's my pitch.

DKW StyleSalon and or go to haerextensionsecret.com that's too many fucking domains. We're all over the place. All right, we're heading out of here. We're done with this show. Hope you guys have a fantastic.

You had a pitch and I did it.

Oh, well, now you got it in there, so it's great. All right, three, two, one, off we go. Talk to you guys next week.