Primal Connection |Date Your Wife | Ep 040

Hey, everybody, this is your boy, Gar J White, the founder of Wake Up Warrior and CEO of DKW Styling. And welcome to the date your wife podcast. Currently sitting in the back seat, well, of a car of my man Adeline, sitting with my wife coming back from a trip to New York City, babe. First thoughts. Coming back from New York City. Off you go.

My first thoughts are. That was fun. I mean, I think there's times I feel like we need a little reset in our relationship. And it's like, usually when we're like, crazy busy and there's like, never a good time, so we. We'll do these kind of long weekend getaways, and then it's like. And then I feel like we can both, like, get back to the grind of things, and it's like a reset. And honestly, I think, like, this is, like, something I think that couples should do every quarter, because I think a trip doesn't have to be like, a really long. I mean, the week one, like. I mean, I like the long trips, but I honestly think, like, every quarter, at least four or five times a year, we. We do a lot of these, like, little long weekend trips. And I think it's a good reset button, I would say.

We never used to do these. I mean, we did these, but we didn't really. I don't think we actually, like, really took them serious.

Don't you think it affects, like, other areas in your life and business? I mean, I. I mean, I mean, we always talk about body being balanced in business within your work, and it's like, when one area is off, it ultimately spills over into the other area. And the biggest area, while in most a lot of married couples lives is their relationship. And as much as they don't, like, like, I don't know, I feel like if. If your relationship is not doing great, it actually spills over into your business. So, like, if you're wanting to up your game in business, you may have to take a look at your relationship and see how you could make that more complete and see if that helps. Because in our. I don't know, in our situation, I felt like when we're on point, we like, are both, like, on fire with business and other areas as well.

So there's a. There's a concept that I actually was taugh. Shit. It was probably 12, 13 years ago in a program called Strategic Coach, which I'm still part of, with a guy named Dan Sullivan, and he created what he calls the entrepreneur time system, which I do not follow very well, but I follow some of the principles of it, which are three types of days through the week. You have focus days, which are the days you get shit done. You have buffer days, which are the days you prep for the days you're gonna get shit done. And then you have free days, which are the days that you don't do anything. You don't do any prep and you don't do any work. Technically, on those days, you're not supposed to read any business. You're not supposed to think about business. I literally don't know how this works. I'm 42 years old. I've yet to be able to pull this off. It's mostly because I'm not committed to pulling it off yet. But what the principle of it is, I have followed, which is I'm constantly creating opportunity inside of our relationship to have space away. This is actually a second time we've gone away. Right before a big event. Tomorrow we start a huge event, Warrior wealth for Women. And the last one we were gone was right before Warrior Week for Women. Yeah, we went to Cabo.

Maybe we don't realize we're planning that.

I think we're playing it on a purpose. I think it's part of the plan. So talk to me about what happens for you when we get away and you're able just to. You and I, we were just in New York for the last couple days. Like, I have it my way and my vision, my intention. We're gonna end up having a place there and offices there, and then we'll be have offices and stuff here in Orange county too. So we'll be back and forth between New York and la. New York, la, New York, la. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth through the salon game. We exercise. We actually. You actually got your hair done at a salon called Federico. Federico Salon, right by the One Hotel, right by Central Park. What was it like getting your hair done there?

No, it was nice, I think. I think it gave me appreciation for how cool my salon is, because, I mean, this was a nice salon, but it's like downtown. Is that the Upper east side? What is that considered? It's like by Central Park. So it's like the nicer area of downtown New York. And I walked into that salon and it was nice. But I can honestly say, like, I'm feeling pretty good about my salon and the experience we offer and how it looks and just how it's ran and the energy. I think I'm just really happy with just, like, the overall energy and vibe of my salon, so it was cool to go there. And I was trying to pretend like I didn't do hair and was hoping nobody recognized me. But the girl was really sweet, and she did a great blowout. I mean, I had some serious Texas hair curls, but that's okay. I had some big hair, but the blowout was nice. And it was just. Sometimes it's just nice to be the client and enjoy the experience and just. I don't know. I kind of like doing that.

So we never. We never really committed to these kind of weekend getaways. I think there were two, two. Two issues I faced. Number one, I couldn't see the economic ROI, return on investment. I think for about 10 years. I was like, holy. I don't know how to spell this. Spend this money.

I feel like for you, it was always like, you don't have time. You don't have time. And honestly, like, we both have, like, three calendars right now, and if you merge all three calendars together, you're like, oh, my God, it's scary. It's frightening. So you don't. So you just look at the one calendar that's like, kind of our personal calendar, and we're like, yeah, this. This weekend can work. And, yeah, we have to. Like, I mean, I missed half of a BMS event, and I. Sure you miss things as well, but it's like, it's cool to, like, step outside and realize that you can. We've built our businesses up to where we can take away that time if we really want to, you know? And so I think in the beginning, in the grind phase, how many times are we saying, like, I can't, I can't, I can't. I gotta grind. I grind. I grind. And I think that you don't realize the importance of a getaway and how it can even set up your workweek to be even better. So I would challenge all of you married couples who, even if you're in the grind phase, ask yourself a simple question. Is that true? Am I stuck to this? Could I rearrange things? I remember when I. I stopped working Saturdays. And it's interesting, as a hairstylist, everyone always is, like, for some reason, it's like you sign your contract in blood and you say you'll work Saturdays the rest of your life. And I remember when Garrett, one day, I was, like, so sad, and I wanted to hang out with my girls, and I was like, I'm so sick of going in on Saturdays. And he's like, well, then don't And I was like, no, you don't understand. Like, I'm still. I'm book. I'm building up my book of Business. And that's just what hairstylists do. We work on Saturdays. And he's like, well, don't. And I was like, I don't. I can't. I have the whole. I have, like, the next eight weeks planned out. And he said, then cancel. I was like, I can't. He's like, why can't you? And I was like, because I don't. I don't know. Where would I put him? He's like, pick up a different day. That's not a Saturday. And I was like, shit. And so what I thought I couldn't do or couldn't take time to, or thought I was too busy and just had surrendered that this is what hairstylists do. I was like, oh, my God, I can. So. I don't know. I feel like in just with where we're going in this conversation, like, you can always take time, and you have no idea how many other areas in your business and in your direct marriage and life that will. It will actually affect.

So I have the same story that Daniel had about working on Saturday. I had the same. I had the same concept around taking trips. I mean, I don't think in the first 10 years we were together that we took trips. We don't. We didn't ever do a little weekend getaways. I don't think we ever did. I actually can't remember at all. I think I have like one or two trips every year, but they were. I don't know, they were kind of lame trips. I don't know. We didn't. We didn't really go away. And I'm not. And I'm sure we didn't have the money at the same level. Obviously we do now to be able to pull off a lot of what we pull off, but nonetheless, like, we could even done staycations, but we didn't even do that.

I think we started with staycations. Remember when we first moved to California, we would do like, little. We lived up in ladera, which was 30 minutes inland, and we'd do little staycations down on the beach for like an overnight. It was fun.

Remember staying at the hotel where I thought there was no air conditioning, but there was air conditioning.

Oh, that was the worst.

And you're like, is there air conditioning? I was like, no, there's no air conditioning on the beach. And then we're, like, sweating. Sweating our asses. Off in the middle of the night, can't even sleep. And then we wake up, turn the light on and look around, only to find out there was air conditioning.

That was rough.

Okay, so part of this then, is about getting away. But when you get away, there's a couple things that happen, and this is what. Ultimately, I'm going to come back to. The strategic coach principle, which is the reason for free days, is to be able to refresh yourself, right? Same kind of game. On a diet, you might have one day a week that's like your cheat day. And your cheat day, like, scrambles your system and then gets you remotivated for six more days to be completely and absolutely on point with your fitness or with your routine or your diet. Same thing goes with. Same thing goes with, like, being able to give yourself a chance to unplug. Like, it's hard to unplug. Unplug. It's very difficult for me to unplug.

You slept in.

I know. Talk about this.

Oh, my God. So Garrett. Garrett never sleeps in. Like, literally on a Sunday morning, his alarm goes off at 4:45, and I'm like, what is he doing? It's Sunday. Like, it's a rare moment if he will ever sleep in. And I always tease him. I'm like, I have to get you away on these vacations because it's the only time, like, I just. Like, you're all mine and, like, you're gonna. You just sleep in. And it was weird. We. I mean, our body clocks were a little bit off, but I was, like, waking up before him, and I was like, oh, my God, is he still asleep? I think you slept, like, eight hours. Nine hours. See, but sometimes you even need to sleep a little more, like a few days, because now we have, like, a crazy event week coming up. And I swear, like, even though I swear your body needs it. Do you know what I mean? So it's like you just sleep and do nothing, and then, like, you're on point and ready to go.

I literally slept two nights for nine hours.

It's not like we did nothing, though, because we were walking.

No, we were doing tons. But, like, I'm saying, like, I. Like, I went to bed at, like, midnight and woke up at nine in the morning, east coast time, which is really, like, going to bed at like, nine and waking up at six. But it means going to bed at nine.

Yeah.

Going. Which never would happen. Like, normally I sleep seven hours. Six. Seven hours every night.

All right. He's having a cough attack you. Good. So anyways, we are a firm believer of these little quick long weekend getaways. And it's funny because we went clear to New York, which is a six, seven hour flight and we were only there for two days, but it was plenty of time. Like we had two full days. Well, three nights. But I mean it takes a whole. Like we got there Thursday late and then did Friday, Saturday and then left Sunday. So really it just feels like two days. But it's like two full days of walking around the city, connecting, hanging out, talking. Like I could have done another day, but at the same time that used to hold me back from taking vacations because I'd be like, oh, you needed, they need to be at least five days to make it worth it. And then I was like, eh, I, I feel like two days is, is still good too. So that kind of. I feel like for us, I mean you would, you. Most people would not go to New just three nights. I feel like they seem. Because so far I feel like you need to go for like five nights. But I think three was fun. I think it was perfect. Like I said I could do one more night, but it still was tons of fun just to go for two days.

So there's a lot of things that we didn't used to do because we didn't feel like we could put the entire all in game on it. Right? Five day vacation or maybe we didn't have the money to go on a bigger trip or we didn't have the babysitter or we didn't have. There was always some reason, there was something in the way that was saying, hey, listen, you don't have time to do this or the conditions aren't right to do this, or if you can't do it all the way in, then you can't do it at all. And this I think really limited us. I talk to couples all the time and individuals all the time. Inside of Warrior and inside of a Warrior woman programs and inside of BMS Big money styles or hairstyles programs.

Lately we've been talking a ton about people's stories and how they say they can't. And it also, like when people say, oh, I can't take time or I just got this, I'm too busy. I think it validates your story of being like. Like if you're in a bad place in your relationship or marriage, it validates the story of being right. Of being like, oh, I can't because I have work. And instead of just taking accountability and being like, oh, I can make it happen. There's always this can't. And then in saying that, you validate your own story. So it's funny, you even have to, like, allow yourself permission to not say can't and figure it out.

I was talking about this on a daily Fuel podcast inside of our memberships and with our membership, with all of our students, a couple thousand students in different programs with us. And I was sharing this last week about how often we get stuck in this game where we only can focus on what we can or what we can't do or not. Well, we can't afford to do that, or we can't afford to go on that trip, or we can't afford to go to Europe, or we can't afford this, or we can't afford that car, we can't afford a babysitter, we can't afford cleaners, and we can't afford to go out on date night. Like, there's all these things that start to pile up about why we can't, why we can't, why we can't. And if your marriage is in a place where it's really rough and things are not working out and you're. You're definitely disconnected and you're struggling and you're frustrated, it's very. It's even easier to justify why you can't do something because you're like, man, that's super, super painful to do it.

You prove yourself right in listening to that story by saying, I can't. And having a crappy marriage or relationship or whatever it is, it validates the story of being right. Because you said, well, I can't. I didn't have time. And there's not. There's not that accountability. If I think it's important to, like, take on that accountability. And. And I don't know, for us, it's like, always been a battle of both of us kind of taking accountability for ourselves. And I don't know, I feel like marriage works. Both people have to be willing to put in the time and the effort and the work and what in relationships and marriages you get. And it was funny. Cause we were doing a hot seat. We do a hot seat with some of my hairstylists. And we used to play this game too. And the only reason I want to bring this up is because. Remember how she was. We were asking her, like, hey, when's the last time you had sex? Or something? And it had been like two weeks. And what happens is, like, the girl will get kind of standoffish, and then the guys get kind of standoffish. And then both of you are in this mode of like, well, fuck you. Well, no, fuck you. Well, no fuck you. And like nobody will kind of like it's like a double fuck you well. And then it just creates this weird energy and then it's like they're both out to be right and be bitter towards one another and neither wants to be the first to crack and be like, okay, this is not cool. I'm gonna have to on the guy's perspective. I think the guys get kind of standoffish. Like they just pour their energy into work. And same with women as well. But then I think women don't feel wanted. And it's just literally you get in this place of just kind of like weird fuck you energy. So it's important for us even. I mean, we've been married 15 years and we still get in this place where I can feel the, I could feel it creeping up. But now because we've been married long enough, it's like, know our formula. And I'm like, okay, let's hit the reset button before it gets too far into the fuck you mode.

This is why little weekend getaways or overnight staycations or send the kids to go be with your parents or your friend or do a swap or whatever. And listen, I realize there's some of you listening to this and we have tons of listeners of the show date your wife. And there's some of you listening and it's very difficult because you're like, oh, dude, you're flying to New York, you're doing this, you're doing that. Listen, long before, long before we were able to do these kind of things economically, we got very, very, very clear six, seven years ago that one of the big problems that we had was the fact that we just did not spend enough time together away from kids. Like this was an issue. Think about easy it is. You wake up in the morning, you do your workouts, you can avoid each other, right? Somebody handles the kids in the morning, you go to your workout, you head to the office, you do whatever you're going to do. You can avoid each other in the morning. No connection. You go all day long, you work at work. Work. You know, you're dealing with the kids, you're dealing with the kids. You get back from, you know, kids get back from school, you end up dealing with the K with the kids. Dinner, homework, showers, bedtime. Chaos, toothpaste terrorist. My 7 year old who refused to brush her teeth and throws a tantrum. And it's very easy to be 9, 30 at night, 9, 10 o' clock night, and you've literally not connected with your partner at all. Right. It's very easy to pull this off, and then it's easy to pull it off day one and then day two, and then day three and day four and day five, and next thing you know, you're two weeks down the road and you haven't connected and you're three weeks down the road. That gets super interesting because I was sitting in a conversation with one of the one woman. I was like, well, listen, you know, you, you and your husb. Husband haven't had sex in a couple weeks. It's been like two and a half, three weeks. I was like, you realize your husband's going to porn, he's jerking off, or he's going to a strip club or he's doing something. He's not just sitting there like saying, oh geez, like his sexual desire is rising. So you think you're holding a hostage and you think you're like, you know, giving him the cold shoulder and he's giving you the cold shoulder. But I can guarantee you that he's doing something to release that sexual energy. And his thoughts are not on you, they're on some other woman. They're on like, strip club, literally on a woman who's, whose breasts are in his face. Or, or you're sitting in porn and the guy's mind's focused on something else too, and he's not thinking about you.

It's probably even harder to come back and connect with your wife, I would imagine.

It's not harder.

Right. It actually even disconnects you even more, I would think.

Well, I can tell you from experience 100%. There's a numbness that comes into it when you start to look consistently at porn and masturbating.

You probably can't even look at your wife and even think she's attractive anymore.

No, it totally strips away. Well, you know what it does, stage one is it creates anger, right? Yeah. Because your mind starts to go to a place where like, what's wrong with you? Why don't you want me? And so here I am as a guy. I'm alone. I'm having this experience. I want to be wanted by you. I want to be connected with you, but you're not, you're not demonstrating any behavior. Of course, as a guy, I'm not doing anything actually to create any conditions. Guys get weird too, because they don't know how, we don't know how we don't know how to actually bridge the gap, particularly after it's been a week. Like, I joke around all the time. Like, literally, my. My. My. My crazy sex cycle.

I call it pouty phase. But Gary used to go into, like, pouty phase when I felt like I standoffish. Then he would go into this weird kind of pouty phase, and then would come the you phase. And. And then there was. It was, like, harder for me to get, like, back in. And he was just like, it's not like you were mean, but you were just, like, kind of cold.

No, I went from.

Yeah, just. It just went. It just went kind of cold and dark. And I, like, I was almost like I couldn't find my way back in. And it was, like, harder for me to, like, literally, it's harder for me to, like, just get your attention and just get back in and get on point with that relationship. And it's interesting, too, because I think. I always, like when I think about coup, and I think, okay, I mean, again, we've been married 15 years. But I always think back to how whenever I'm in a weird spot in my relationship, I'm always like. I always think back to when we were dating, because I always felt like we had a lot of spark and a lot of chemistry and we were dating. And I try to, like, think what were the behaviors that I were doing that all of a sudden I don't do anymore because I don't care because I'm married. And I think that one of them. And it's so funny, even when I met Gary, he was doing mortgages. Like, he. You'd finished college and then. And I was in beauty school, and. Yeah, yeah. And so he. He's like. We started dating, and we're. It's funny, when we met, we were actually in Both in, like, a really chill vibe. Like, both of us were just like, yeah, whatever. Like, you were finishing up school and you were working at the Mayan, which is a Mexican restaurant. And I mean, I was 18 when I met Garrett, so I didn't care. I mean, I. If you were too serious and already into mortgages because you're seven years older than me. I think I would have been, like, freaked out and been like, oh, he's got. He's got his light. This. No, I'm here. I'm here to. I'm in college. I'm here to have fun, you know? But you were still finishing up college, and you were like, just so. Even though you're older than Me, Like, I didn't actually realize. Realized I thought you were maybe like three or four years older than me. And then I found out you were seven years older than me. I've been dating for a bit, and I had a son and you had a son. And then I was like, oh, Jesus. Literally, it was like on. We've been hanging out for six weeks and some girl comes up to me and is like, oh, you're dating Garrett. Oh, my God, he's the nicest guy ever. Did he tell you about his son? And she kind of was a. Like, she said that to, like, she must have dated you or knew you or something, because she definitely. Like, it was kind of like a jab. Like, I wanted to be like, oh, cute. He dumped you for me. Sorry about that. But I didn't. But anyway, like, it was a lot that happened at once. But I always try to go back to, like, how are we? When there was that chemistry and that spark. Because you were working even all the time when we were dating. Like, after you graduated college, you look went through. One of your buddies was like, hey, you got to do mortgages. Like, you're gonna kill it. You're gonna make so much money. Screw being a PE teacher. Like, you gotta come do mortgages. And you started doing mortgages and you just started working a ton. So here was this, like, fun, kind of chill guy that we both were in this fun, kind of chill phase. And then all of a sudden, you got, like, super focused. But at that time, I really liked you and I thought we were gonna get married. So I like that you were focused. I was like, okay, cool. Like, he's gon money. Like, I. I knew he would. Like, this is great. But even then, like, we would still. Even though you'd work all the time, we would always create time and space. Like, I remember we'd sometimes. I mean, in college life, obviously, but you'd pick me up at like 11pm and we'd just sit and talk and hang out and whatever, you know. And so it's like you create the time and space even when you're dating and super busy. And when you're dating, it's like, there. There are no off hours. You know what I mean? You're like, oh, it's 11 o'. Clock. Let's hang out. Oh, it's 2. It's 2 in the afternoon. Let's go hang out. Like, there's. You just create time and space and it. And you want to, you know, matter how bus are you? Like, at the same Time, you're like, oh, I can't wait to see. I can't wait to see him, or I can't wait to see her or whatever. And you create that time and space. And I think that the more you do that, the more you genuinely actually want to hang out. So it's. Something happens when we get married where we just go into autopilot and we start focusing on ourselves. But in the initial stages of a relationship, you. You focus on one another, and that's what. What creates the relationship.

So what allows this to occur is the stepping back, giving yourself a chance. Step away from the game and return back to the roots. Almost like your primal nature of who you are as a couple. And that gets really tough if. If you've had some serious distance sexually for a while. Just saying, I don't care if you're dating or if you're married. Like, in that case, like, if you have some distance sexually and intimately with each other. It's very easy to get us stuck in a routine where you just kind of start operating from a place of. I don't really have standard. Like, the first phase is like anticipation, and then it turns into some desper. And then the desperation turns into you, and then you turns into apathy. So you go from like anticipation to desperation to you to apathy. And apathy is like this. This weird place of not being angry, not being excited. You're almost numb to other person. And having had as much experience I've had with as many guys as we coach and work with thousands and thousands of new men every single month inside the wake of warrior programs, I can tell you, like, this not a. This is not an anomaly. This is a standard of. The majority of couples really struggle with this idea of communication and they struggle with sexual intimacy. Struggle being. It's one thing to be, you know, we can be all over each other when you're dating, easy. Not a problem. If you're not all over each other when you're dating, you probably got a problem. Like, you probably should not get married whatsoever. But like, most couples are all over each other when they're dating, then they get married. They're so all over each other. And then you add kids and businesses and stress and mortgages and dog on the carpet in laws and problems and religion and purpose and all these other things into it. Next thing you know, you two get lost. And what you really lose is you lose the ability to connect at the primal level that you used to connect at when you first got together. There was a deep Sexual longing for each other. There was a deep intellectual longing for it. Maybe not for you, but for me and Danielle, like that. I was interested enough. I was super sexually turned on by her at first. But what was even bigger for me was, and actually dominated the first part of our relationship was our communication. We would just sit and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and tuck and tuck and tuck and tuck. Like, we'd go for drives for a couple hours and we'd just talk and talk. And then we'd sit on the floor and talk and we would sit at our apartment and talk and we'd sit at my apartment and talk and we'd lay in bed and talk and we would talk. We'd just like talk, sit in the park and talk. Like, ditch out, go get ice cream at like 11:30 at night and talk. And we just talked, constantly talking, talking. And then of course, there was some deep sexual desire for each other too, which a couple months into our dating relationship finally started to flourish itself. And then there was a connection there too. But we lost both of those. Like we had been married and we lost both our ability to communicate with each other and we lost our ability to sexually connect with each other. And we got into this. I don't know, like, I got focused in making money and I felt like my purpose was to ultimately produce, which was a catch 22 for Danielle, because it was. It was a good thing. She was acceptable of it and she was excited about the fact that I was doing this, but at the same time, I was not. I was forgetting about her in between. So the trip allows us to reconnect inside of that space, to be able to actually talk to one another and be able to connect with one another other away from the kids, away from the businesses, away from family, away from friends, away from business stress, etc. And for whatever reason, recently we continue to do this right before big events. And tomorrow we're going to be on stage in front of 300 people and we're going to have. We're going to have great. 300 of our students are going to be here tomorrow. And it's going to be great.

I think that we know. I think that the universe tells us that we need to be on point and we need to set ourselves up to do a good event. And so I think we just keep planning these trips, not realizing it, but I think. I think we have a bigger impact. I think we do realize. I know, maybe I do, subconsciously. Yeah. And I feel like I. I go into an event, like, I have a hard time going in. What are you doing right there?

Just. You're holding up pretty close.

I have a hard time when I do events. Like, the thing that's different about me is I have a hard time going into autopilot now. The thing that's interesting with me with events is I'm not very structured, but I like to. When I go into an event, I just like to really tap into what I need, what I feel like these women need to hear. And always, if I'm in the right frame, I literally feel like I can tap into source, like, at any time and just be authentic and share what I'm feeling and thinking. And it doesn't. It's not. It's not rehearsed. And it's interesting in events, like, every event we do, whether it's a hair event or we have the Warrior women's event, everybody wants, like, a checklist. They want a series of. They just want. They literally. Women want. I don't know if men do, but, like, women want a checklist of how to have a better marriage or a checklist of how to go about business better. And it doesn't really work like that. And even if I were to give them, like, a paperback of our checklist, that worked for us. Like, a lot of times people don't remember those things, but what they do remember is the feeling that they have inside of an event. And so when I go into an event, I really try to, like, bring my all, I guess you could say. So for me, it's important to, like, feel refreshed and feel, I don't know, just like you. If you were a sports player or anything else, like, you set yourself up to have an amazing game.

I think it allows me to just unplug. I managed to work on the flights, and I still do my thing. It gives me a chance to unplug and just connect on you and connect to you, which I think is really important. As we go in and doing women's events. These are our first Warrior Women events. It's our second event with 300 plus women. Our first one was Warrior Week for Women, and now we're doing Warrior wealth for Women, which is a business conversation, which is going to be a very, very fun conversation. We talk about money and we talk about producing and we talk about getting paid, which is our first time doing women events outside of what we've done in the hair industry for the last two, three years, which has really taken off too So I think the summary inside of today' show is simply this. Like, the game is about getting space. If you don't get space from away from your current environment, away from your current situation, you can't return back to the primal nature that actually connected you to. And if you're not frequently returning back to the primal nature that connects you to, you end up becoming just simply partners in a game. And partners in the game are great, but if you lose the lovers and you lose the lust and you lose the primal connection of communication and authenticity and transparency and sexuality, if you lose those peace inside a relationship, then in things just become stale. And I, I don't care how physically attractive two people are. Like, I can line up the checklist of quote unquote, Barbie and Ken doll couples who are completely dysfunctional as fuck when it comes to communication, when it comes to sexuality, when it comes to intimacy, when it comes to anything, they're not connected at all. They walk around, they take pictures, they look great on Instagram. Yet the truth is, behind the scenes, their marriage is a complete shit show. Their relationship is a complete shit show. Oftentimes there's cheating. Oftentimes there's just complete chaos and there's just people who are drinking and sedating, just doing everything that I possibly can just to survive. So final thought for today then, inside of this week's show is simply this. Getting away matters. But it matters because it returns you back to the primal nature of who you are and who you were when you first met. And this is something that has to be refreshed over and over and over again. Otherwise it becomes stale, it becomes stagnant. No different than having a loaf of bread. You have a loaf of bread, it has expiration date on it. It's not going to sit there great forever, unless it's a McDonald's hamburger bun. And then it'll probably last like 15 years. So if you want marriage, it's like a McDonald's hamburger, then, well, off you go. But if you want one that's fresh, like some nice Italian bread or a nice Italian French croissant. Daniel has some final thoughts on this. Off you go.

I think in the end, Garrett and I are both very, very busy. We both have our own companies and we both do our own thing, but we both work together as well. But even when we work together, it's not the the same. And it's funny because Garrett and I will be in any kind of a business meeting and he'll have to look at me because he'll Sense me wanting to tell him to off. And he'll be like, I'm talking to you as a business partner, not husband right now. And so then it, like, calms me down a little bit. I'm like, all right, all right. Okay. So even though we spend a lot of time together inside the the workplace, we're both very, very busy and we have to have this other side of the relationship that we are with one another as well. So if you are also a married couple and you work with your spouse, don't be confused with time together as a business partnership and time away as a couple with your relationship. Does that make sense as a couple? Anyway, so I just wanted to put that out there because I know people all the time are like, oh, we'll get Garrett and Danielle work together. Like, when our work hat on. We are very much in work grind mode. So it's important to like, literally step outside that box and create a situation where you guys can reconnect. So anyways, that is our show for today. We are getting ready to step into Warrior Women tomorrow. And it's actually the business conversation, which I'm kind of excited about. I love. I love marketing and I like working. And yeah, it'll be good, good times. So you can listen to our podcast every week on itunes. It comes out on Tuesday. Go ahead and subscribe and make sure to go back and listen to some of our other episodes for a good laugh.

I 40. I think around 40 episodes. 41 episodes now. We started the show at the beginning of 2018. Danielle thought I was insane for doing it. We actually deployed four or five podcasts at the same time. Warrior Wealth, Warrior on Fire, date your wife, big money stylist, Warrior Week, and all deployed at the same time. Warrior wealth is actually coming back online here in the month of November heading into 2019. So there's about 20 episodes on there. I stopped that on purpose for a little bit. As well as Worry on Fire, which is actually coming back online also the first week of November with 5 minute daily fire instead of Daily Fuel episodes that will be available inside the marketplace. So thanks so much for being here. Again, if you are a man and you are learning this for the very first time, we encourage you to check out Be the Man, the book on Amazon, also now currently available inside the itunes store. You can download the audiobook and or get the physical book sent to you. Also available on Kindle. This will be the beginning of your journey. The title of the book is Be the Man. Stop lying. Start leading today as well. As that. You can check out some of our other experiences found@wakeupwarriorwoman.com Andor Warrior Week.com thanks so much for being here. This is Garage signing off, saying love and light. Good morning, good afternoon and good night.