Recognizing Strengths: Embracing Diverse Roles and Personal Goals

Most guys don't care what they want to be is told they're amazing. They want to be touched frequently. Be frequently.

Well, see, and I can. I mean, I don't know.

You give. You show me guys hitting those things with a woman.

He can have conversation with.

Me. Go play pickleball, babe. I'm. Go hunt. I'll be back.

Okay, great.

Tell me I'm the man again. Thank you.

If I flip it though, and you were like, you can buy whatever you want. We have fancy cars and yachts, planes and whatever. I would be bored out of my mind.

Well, well, well, Back at it again. Got my wife in the bedroom on me this time on camera. Welcome to Date Wife podcast re release version 75.

Do you know the last time we did a podcast at our house, it was right after we moved into this home and we were like, we're going to get all consistent and do it all over again. And we set up downstairs in front of the main living room. And so now we're kind of in this more like intimate vibe of like, being in our bedroom.

Well, you know, and since, since the last time I think we shot a show. You had two children.

No, I already had two babies. I had Isla.

Oh, we already had.

Yeah, she was little. She was like a year old.

Okay.

And. But yeah, when we first started this podcast, we had two kids and now we've got four, so.

Well, you just turned 40 and I gave you something amazing to commiserate. To commiserate. To celebrate this. This, this amazing piece of jewelry on your wrist. I know, I'm proud of it. I'm doing the guy thing. When you spend that much money on a piece of jewelry to custom make for your wife, you want people to see it. You're like, check it. I want you to wear it every day.

I do wear it, but I have to get used to it because, like, off, I like, you can't not notice it. It's 40 carats. I was like, woo.

Yeah, it's beautiful. So there was, that was, that was the thing that I didn't get forever is being your husband was the idea that gifts mattered.

Still think that men have a, a funny thing about gifts. It's like the, it's like I was talking to another girl the other day and she's like, yeah, like they, you finally get them to turn the corner and they finally want to like, buy you a present, but then it's like, you, you better wear that every day. Like, she's like, she's like, my husband bought me These, like, really expensive. Like, she's like, they're like 500 pair of boots that, like, I love them. And like, every time we go out, he's like, why aren't you wearing your boots? She's like, don't want to wear my boots.

Exactly.

So she goes. She goes. So what I started doing is, like, before he comes home from work, I put those boots, like, in the windowsill right by the front door. So he, like, comes in, he sees.

Those boots seductive in the.

So he's like. She's like. Because guys want to, like, they want to buy you gifts, but then they also want you to, like, celebrate these gifts all the time and be like.

Oh, like, does she ever wear the boots with just lingerie before they know she probably should. I mean, that'd be good strategy.

She's. She was excited about those boots.

We actually talked about putting a stripper pole in right here where we're sitting.

I know. I'm so excited for you to take stripper lessons for me.

Yeah, I am. I'm excited, too. Upside down. That's how we're going to do it. I'm going to wear a thong. Go upside down. I got massive hamstrings, quads, not much glute, but I got great grip strength.

I don't. You're too big of a guy. I can't even imagine.

Couldn't hang from the pull at a break. Yeah. And let's get serious. I'm not doing the pull dancing.

Can you do a pull up?

Can I do 27 pull ups? What's wrong with you?

I don't know. Can you do a pull up?

Can you do a pull up?

I can't.

I know you can. So why are you even ask if I can do this? You know I can do this. Do you know how many times I've had to, like, lift you over my head during sex? That is not zero. Absolutely zero.

I'm sorry for that comment.

So, seriously, you have. You have turned a corner in your old age of 40.

And you know what I love about you the most? Your mustache.

Oh, yeah, I forgot. This is inaugural comeback. We got. We got the stoosh, we got the mustache. You love the mustache.

You know, it's. Here's what's so funny. It's Mother's Day.

Yeah.

And you come down. I'm like, really? You know I hate the moustache.

You like the moustache?

So creepy.

I think there's a part of you that deeply desires.

No. No. So I'm like, really on Mother's Day.

Yeah.

You know, it bugs me. And that's the day you come down with a stash. I was like, also on Mother's Day.

Yeah.

Your post was bu. Time.

Yeah.

Happy Mother's Day.

Not the best post ever.

A picture of you and wasn't thinking outfit, and you're like, be you all the time. I was like, most people are like, I love my wife and my kids and happy Mother's Day. Not Garrett.

There was nothing popular about that post either. The. The. The. The audience let me know quickly. I had broken many, many rules.

It's funny, though, because, like, you are awful with, like, dates. Like, it could be birthdays, anniversaries, it could be Christmas Day. And you're like, oh, like, maybe not that bad, but, like, you're not. You're not great at remembering dates.

Well, let's. Let's. I think what the real problem is the fact that I have a challenge. Would you like to hear about my challenge? Yeah, of course.

I'm really excited.

I'm your husband. Let me tell you. Oh, wow. Let me tell you about it. It comes back to, like, you. You getting pregnant. I'm not disavowing the fact that you're pregnant. I like that you got pregnant. You made four children. It's beautiful. I will never be able to do this. I will never be able to push a human out of my vagina. A, I don't have a vagina. B, I can't make babies no matter what the dick. Guys with dicks that call themselves chicks say they can do. I get pissed about the transgender.

Don't let it trig.

So here's a piece. So you push the babies out, but no one talks about what it's like to be a husband with a pregnant woman.

Are we. We're going back there?

We are. We're going to go back there and we're going to fast forward a little bit. Seriously. I keep thinking about this because the greatest problems inside of relationships I see happen are with guys in the nine months their wife is pregnant and the six months of recovery after.

That's the hardest thing for a guy. It is because the guy carrying the child.

Exactly.

Super stressful for him.

I told you. I want to write a book. What to expect when Expecting Penis Addition.

You know what is.

I'm doing this.

When you have four companies, you decide to have two babies in two years.

Yes.

You still are a mom. Plus you homeschool your kids, plus you manage your teams, and then you push a baby out. That's that's stressful.

Do you know how stressful it is? Wake up with morning wood. Oh, my.

I got nothing.

Exactly. You got nothing. That's a stumper. Right there is a stumper of all stumpers. Listen, and seriously, it's like about it. Like, I come and I play this back, and I play back. Here's why the Mother's Day thing happened. I'm ready to give you. I'm tying this back for you.

Because you're feeling bad when I was pregnant for yourself.

No, I'm just giving an example of how guys don't get any credit. We did a lot of stuff. We pumped. We made a deposit. Without our deposit, there's no baby. Right. I get it. It's not much, but it's a valid. It's a. It's a hinge on a door that makes a big impact. Without the sperm, there is no baby. You do all the rest of the work. I'm not going to take that away from you. You. But there's no celebration for what it is, nor concern for a guy's feelings while his wife's pregnant, particularly if you get back to backers. Now, a guy's, like, in the desert sexually for, like, two and a half, three years.

You know what, though? I did actually, though, like, we had a guy come to us. It's like, he was so cute. It was his first baby. And he's like. He looked. We went and spoke at this event down in Miami, and we're talking to a few people after. And the one of the. I call him a kid. I don't know how old he is.

They're like, in their 20s. Yeah.

And he had. He's like, my wife's pregnant with my first baby. Like, what would you recommend that I do? Like, he came to me, like, I was like, really? That's the question you're gonna ask me? And he's like. And I go, you know what? Be sensitive to the fact that when you're pregnant, your hormones are a little bit all over the place. But be sensitive to the fact that, like, don't lose desire or lust for her. Like, don't act weird. Like, even though she's pregnant, she still wants to be, like, seduced. She still wants to be, like, dated. She still wants to talk a little dirty with you. Like, you know, she gets bigger. You're just gonna have to, like, give her some space. But, like, don't treat her. I think guys almost go into this. I can't touch you. Yeah, you're in a plastic bubble. Wrap. And the girl's like, I already feel frumpy and ugly and now my husband doesn't want to come touch me. So I was like, try to be sensitive, like, to her needs. And I love when like, you're kind of more doting when I am pregnant. And it's like, I definitely, like, I'm like, yeah, babe, can you grab my slippers? Yeah, babe, can you grab me my food? Like, I love, I love kind of like having that time where I can just like let people do things for me. Because I'm that type of person that's always like doing things for people. So I, I, I like that. But at the same time, I just feel like for guys, it's like kind of, I like, like when you do on me, but don't treat me like I'm in a bubble wrap that we can't like, still have sex and talk.

And, well, I'll never get to repeat it. I mean, we're done. I got snipped. It was a huge award. They gave me an award for it.

Expressing like, for like, because you brought it up. And I was just like talking about how this kid came to me. And specifically I was like, what advice? So I was like, it's hard sharing that in the sense of like, if you're a new husband to be like, if from a woman's perspective. That was my advice.

Well, it's great advice. And you understand you're talking about like a 27 year old. He's like, it is like sexual peak. Like he wants everything. So his wife gets pregnant. Then he's like, no, no.

But here's what do I do? I can't speak for all women, but when I'm pregnant, I'm all, I'm like always ready to go. Like, so the hormones change and I'm like, please don't treat me like I'm in a plastic.

But you couldn't tell me that when you were first pregnant? I didn't know that. I was left in the wilderness. I had no idea.

Two babies. I don't even remember. That was so long ago. We basically had like two sets of kids. So Garrett and I had, we got married when, when I was 20. He's seven years older than me. He's 17 years older than me.

Listen, you have plenty of friends that are like married to guys 25 years older than them, so. I know, let's not even go there.

I'm like, joke around.

I'm like seven years, but with this mustache, I'm basically the same age.

Anyway, so Garrett and I got very young and then had two babies. Young. And then didn't know if we're going to stay married. And I literally always joke around. I'm like, I feel like we have, like, two. We got divorced. We have, like, two sets of kids. I've got, like, the teenagers. I. Shit, I got to go check on my teenager. I'm currently bleaching her hair out. You might have to hold the show for, like.

All right, well, go, and I'll talk all kinds of shit about you while you're gone.

I got to check.

That'd be great.

She's going to be bald.

All right, so here's the deal. I'm going to tell you right now. This is the moment. I'm not supposed to look into the camera, but I'm a. Look deep into the camera. I will look you deep in your eyes. So stay with me. Here's how it goes. While she's gone. Here's the point that I was trying to get across there is the reason why I was feeling a little less passionate about Mother's Day was not because I don't celebrate my wife for being a creator of human life. I will never be able to compete with this. The woman creates people. So all my ladies out there, you create people. Congratulations. You do shit no guy can ever do. There's no skyscraper. A man can build a bridge. He can build an empire. He can build. That creates even remotely close to the magnitude of what it is to be a woman that God created that creates life. This is real. You cannot compete with this. There is no competition with this. No matter who you are as a man, women will always be, in some element by God's design, more potent and more powerful than we are now. That being said, knowing that women have this ability, here's the challenge. Guys get basically thrown to the wayside. Mother's Day, huge celebration, right? Father's Day, Seriously? Nobody gives a fuck about Father's Day. You pretend like you give a shit about Father's Day. There's no big celebration. There's no parades. There is no big move. It's like, almost like, hey, it's Tuesday. Oh, it's Father's Day next. So we have all these men who are being taught that being a father isn't really something we should celebrate mainstream. We also have the entire media train and all the propaganda from feminist idiots and all the rest of the extreme out there that continues to tell men they don't matter. You don't matter. Stop telling us about your feelings. Go make some money. And by the way, Father's Day doesn't matter.

Nobody's telling you that.

What have you done that's glorious for me on Father's Day ever in the history of our marriage.

I'm like, the best. I'm very thoughtful. I like. I plan things out.

What'd you do last year?

I don't know. What'd you do last year for Mother's Day?

Easy. Last year was amazing. What did I do last year? I don't remember. What did I do?

No, but I'm just saying, like, you. You don't play a victim card.

I'm not playing a victim card. I'm saying it's a double standard.

No, here's the thing.

We celebrate moms, but we don't celebrate dads, okay?

I don't care what everybody else is doing. You have always been celebrated very well. I take care of you very well.

Why you give me that eye?

Because, you know, stop trying to be a victim. You're very well.

I'm not being a victim. I'm fighting for my guys.

Well, they don't.

Which is. People don't think about this, though. Seriously. Mother's Day is held up on top.

Of the mountain of greatness.

I know, but there's two peaks. No, no, there's peak one, women up top. Peak two, men up.

Do you know why it's like that, though? Because I genuinely believe, like, women value, like, the experience and gifts and guys are just like the thought. They're like, oh, thanks, you're thinking of me. Like, they don't. Women expect that. Men don't expect, like, this big ordeal. Women are like, oh, my God, like, I expect to be pampered all day. Guys are like, you cooked me dinner. This is awesome.

Well, that's. That's generational though. Like, so you look at it. If grandma did with mom did with you, it's like a roll down. It's always been, by the time I was born, it was already a game that you should celebrate moms, but there's no celebrate dads, okay? So seriously, think about it for a moment. This is why, if you look at Mother's Day, Father's Day is coming up. It's not a big deal. People don't give a. There's gonna roll right past Father's Day.

You really need to stop feeling bad for yourself.

I'm not feeling bad for myself.

Sticking up for the guys.

I'm sticking up for the guys because the fact that men.

Why does men have to carry away so controversial? Why don't you just be like, why.

Why is he. This is even controversial. We're having a conversation. Have a conversation about what? Equality, which is what women want. They want equality. We want women superheroes. We got men superheroes now. It's like 90 women superheroes. Okay? Equality means equal Father's Day celebration.

Okay, here's what I'll take it back to. That's fine. I believe that women can do it all, and there's been just a really low standard.

Can they. Except for open the bottle of their water while we're in, you know, Miami. But that's okay. You're not listening to everything except for.

Open up water to the whole point. Okay, so my. My theory is, like, men were always to grind and hustle and work, and that was the standard for men. The standard to be a husband, a father. It was really low. It was like. The standard is provide for women. It was like, the opposite standard. It was like, just be a mom, take care of your kids, whatever, like, if you're not expected to be successful. Right, Right. So now I would say the standard has to raise for both men and women. Men have to step up and be better husbands and better fathers and better mentors. And at the same time, women can. It's okay for women to work and have purpose and. And. And do that. Right. You know what I mean? Like, there I knew right. When I had kids, I'm like, I freaking love my babies, but I want to do more with life, and I believe I'm capable of impacting and doing more than just being a mom. And for a while, being raised in the culture and the community that we were raised in, that was a hard calling for me to accept. And so I just think, like, what you and I are passionate about is, like, we. We have to show up. Like, the. The women have to show up, and the men have to show up, which means, like, it's a. It's an. It's an equal conversation in the sense of, like, yeah, I actually want you to be with our kids. Do you know what I mean? And you actually like that. I work and I have purpose, right?

Yep.

And so that's where we can kind of come together and raise the standard. But still, I feel like you still play a very masculine role, and I still play a very feminine role. But we've demonstrated that you can have it all and do it all, both being. Being married and being male and female. So as much as, like, you. You want to, like, fight for the men, I feel like you should really fight for the men and, like, stepping up in the sense of, like, making time for your kids, taking those vacations. Like, even if your wife's, like, nagging you to take those vacations and you're like, I don't want to spend the money, but, like, kind of being like, okay, I want that time, that quality time with my family and, And. And that kind of thing.

I get it. I hear you.

I feel like you're. You were just really fired up. So I wanted to, like, really bring a little bit more of us. I'm hearing you. A softness and a softness, but just more of, like, a reality check on both men and women is like, you can create whatever you want.

So why do you think there is not a bigger celebration for fathers?

I. I think there is a big celebration. Do you not feel celebrated?

No.

Really? Every year, I usually plan something.

No, I'm saying, guys, I'm saying, you give me a gift, that's great. But I'm saying, like, generally speaking, generally speaking, when it comes to men and it comes to women, there is way more propensity to celebrate motherhood than there is to celebrate fatherhood. And there's way more propensity to say the value of a woman in family over the value of a man.

Well, it's like saying the value of a man that's a producer, like, the man. Like, even if you have a producing wife, it's like, if you have equal producers, it's still like, the man is kind of, like, expected to be more in the workforce. Rather, even if. Even if the woman makes more money, it's, like, expected that the guy has to physically work more versus and it's, like, expected that the woman has to physically be with her children more. But I will say women and men are just wired differently. Like, the mom guilt thing. I know dads have guilt. Like, I experience it with you all the time. I think what guys do when they feel like the dad Guild is that's why they come across, like, Disneyland dad, because they feel guilty for not having time with their kids. So they just want to come back and play, play, play, play, play. And. And women are different in the sense that they have this. This time guilt frame. Right?

So.

So it's really hard for women to, like, we don't necessarily want to play with our kids all the time. I mean, I said, I'll play Barbies here and there, but I just want to be with my kids. So for women, it's like, you almost have this chip. It's hard to be away from them. And I genuinely do believe that physically carrying a kid there, it's something you are always bonded in that way. Like, there can be times where I'm, like, working at the salon or doing whatever, and my mind is so wired and for my children that I'll be like, oh, it's two o'. Clock. This is nap time. The Isla's usually waking up. Like, I literally, like, have markers in my brain of what my kids are doing, and I can be in the middle of having a conversation and doing a podcast and all these things. And, like, I just think that women's brains are wired a little bit different than men.

And that's.

And that's okay. I think there's. There's nothing wrong with that. And so I don't have a problem with a guy being a provider and carrying that masculine role. And for the woman to be more feminine and be with the kids, like, I feel like that's kind of how you and I are like. Like, you love being with the kids, and I do, too, but I definitely spend more time with them. But I'm also a producer.

I get it. So you have. Again, we're coming back to the point. It's a celebration to be a mom, and there's not much celebration for being a dad. There's a lot of expectation on guys, and I'm painting a story on this because this is why guys would draw. And guys get to a place where they just feel sedated and they hide in the corner and they stop giving a.

But women do the same thing.

Women, for sure. For sure.

I'm not saying if they're bored and they don't have a purpose and they don't feel valued, they'll sedate women.

They feel the same way, and they both would do their thing. Right? So I'm just saying right now, you brought up the quality of Mother's Day, and I was sitting thinking, my brain. I'm like, no, you brought up. And I was like, okay, well, why? Like, what is my thoughts around that? I was like, what is the deal? Because you're like, oh, you don't really care about holidays. You only care about this. And I was saying the thing. I was like, I'd already around that time was having thoughts about Father's Day and how, like, there will be almost no celebration for Father's Day. People will talk about it, but not really to you.

Like, I always plan something.

Okay, I agree with that. But I'm saying, even in our relationship, your ability to demonstrate value to me as a man Was not always there any more than mine was about being able to deliver value to you as a woman. You had very little understanding or empathy for me being a man while you were pregnant, going through what you're going through, I had very little empathy for you being pregnant and going through what you're going through. Most cheating happens during pregnancy.

Now.

Most of my guys who have cheated, cheated during pregnancy or right after for the next 12 months because of. Yeah, that's why these young guys coming in that are having these situations, like, what should I do? I said, you should be worried.

Is that true? Because I. You've told me about a lot of the guys, and it's not during pregnancy. It's just like your wife cheating for, like, 25.

Well, that's. Wives cheating. That's a totally different situation. You got people who've been cheating on each other for decades. I'm saying that the. If you look at the beginning, foundation of relationship, the minute that woman gets pregnant, everything changes. And now the whole dynamics of the relationship flips up, die down. And for the next 18 months, the woman's totally different. Now there's this thing that's born she cares more about than him. For sure. 100%. I'm not questioning that. I get that you will care about our children way more than you'll care about me. Like, come down to a choice between the four girls. Me, I'm out. I get it.

I think it's. I'm. I'm a little bit offended, to be honest with you.

Why are you offended?

I, like, it's so funny because, like, well, maybe, like, wait, like, years go back in our. Our marriage, but I feel like I definitely, like, I'm always, like, wanting to spend time with you.

Yeah. Now. Yeah.

So. But that's what I'm saying. Like, maybe in the beginning, I didn't really understand that, but now I think I feel like, in a lot of ways, put you first before the kids. My. The kids will be fine. And you're the ones, like, stressing out. And I'm, like, trying to get out of the house. I'm like, babe, it's day night.

Let's go.

You're like, go, go. And you're dealing with the kids and hugging them.

Got it.

Let's go. What are you doing?

I agree.

I'm constantly planning trips with you. And I. When you travel to speak, I'm like, can I go? Because I think a lot of times when you're disconnected, especially if you have a husband who's traveling and providing it's like, well, then go travel with him and be with him and work with him and. And spend time. Equals connection.

You didn't used to do that. When did you change? I think you used to do the opposite. It used to be anger at me when I would travel. And that became now like, hey, I'm excited. Let me go with you.

That's what's so crazy is like, I was thinking the other day and I was like, I was like, there's really no excuses. We have four children. And I mean, I guess we financially, we're in a space where I can travel and do all these things, but even then I'm like, we're traveling more than we've ever traveled. We're spending more time together, we're working together some. Sometimes that creates a lot of collision, but it still creates this, Creates this dynamic of even by or like chemistry and.

Yeah.

And it keeps us connected. And so I like, I'm in a place where we have four kids and I. It's not that I. I put our relationship, like, not ahead of the kids, but I do in a way because it. If our relationship doesn't work, then our family splits apart. And so even down to like, it was so funny. Like the other day I was like, making dinner for everybody and I literally plate your food first and make sure you eat first. You know, I do that. I'm a good wife.

You're amazing.

And then I go back and I'm like, the kids are like, mom, do we get food? Like, get your own food. Just. Can I say. I'm like, no, you guys can get it. But I literally.

That was to the one year old too.

No, the one year old. I'm like, I've given nuggets or whatever, but, like, I just want you to pay attention to like, oh, that little things that.

I agree, I agree. Listen, the reason why I'm saying all this is because our listeners. I'm saying this because I know where guys are. They're listening to this. And as much as you've evolved and I've evolved in our relationship, there's a side to this game that was not what we are right now. And it didn't. It accelerated and changed in the last four years in a radical way. Like this connection, unity, sexually, mentally, emotionally really happened in the last four years.

Well, the biggest shift for me, I think that I've kind of been abiding by this rule forever is like, I think I used to, like, want to argue just to be right or I like, I don't know, I'm. I'm pretty, like, stubborn and hard headed, I would say. And I was just like, I wasn't open to listening another side of things. And so now, like, even if I don't agree with something or I'm triggered, I always ask myself, like, what do you want? What is a win for you? And I always then try to flip it to like, think that maybe that you want, you want to win too. And we're both after the same thing, but we just speak a little bit different language. And so I have really figured out how to be like, okay, there's no reason to open up this conversation right now. And as much as I'm like, I'm gonna. I'm a feisty lady. I'm like, there's no reason that I'm not gonna win. I'm not gonna get what I want out of this if I go down this path. And yeah, sometimes I do go down this path. And the next morning, like, that's stupid fucking conversation. You shouldn't have that kind of conversation. Nine o' clock at night after you've had a couple margaritas. Like, there's no reason, like, there's no reason to open up a conversation about kids and this and that and whatever and start an argument, right? So sometimes I'm not saying that doesn't happen, but most the time I tried to not like diffuse a situation, but more like less to react. Like, even yesterday, for example.

Yeah, you did great yesterday.

I. Garrett had sent me like a series of like, stressful texts and I could have responded, been like, you like, I'm doing a little. And I was like, I just kept my cool. And I was like, we got this. And I just kind of listened and I didn't. I felt like I was like, well, I mean, I said a little bit back, but anyways, I ended up being like, I love you. We're gonna crush it. We did a training together. It was like one of our better trainings together because I, I thought, okay, he's stressed out and it's not worth it for me to fight. Like, I'm not. Wasn't trying to fight, but I was like, you were thinking of it as like. I was. I'm like, I'm not trying to fight you. I'm just trying to tell you where I'm at. But then I was like, you know what? That's fine. I'm going to follow your lead. And then I think that opened you up to even have listening to me train. And it was like one of our first trainings where it was like I felt like there was dual respect given and we both learned from each other.

Dual respect, right. So that's the, that's the statement on it, right? That's why I come back to the Father's Day thing. Pause. Dual respect, which is like, there are roles that women play in family and in marriage that a man will never be able to play.

Does he want to ever?

I mean, some do, but I'm saying they will never. Single dads do, right? Single moms have to handle both sides of the equation. I'm just saying there are roles. No matter who you are as a woman, you will never be able to teach our daughters what it is to be with a man. Meaning in the following, you're not a man. You can't teach them about men. You can teach about your experience as a woman with me as a man or other men. So. But as a man, the only example in this house is me. There's no other example in this house but me. I'm the fucking example in our house of what it is to be a man. You're the example, what it is to be a woman. Together we come together as a couple and we demonstrate what it is to be married as a man and a woman to our children. So that's why I say this respect piece that opened up for us was a respect for motherhood, a respect for you as a producer, a respect for you as my. My lover, a respect for you as the leader of our home, as a woman, the bringer of femininity to this place. The gift of God to spill into the world of our children and to pour into our daughters, into our son and to give them examples. Parker looks to you as the example of what it is to be a woman. Right. But at the end of the day, I'm the man teaching him how to be a man. Vice versa. What can I teach our daughters about being a woman?

I think it's so funny because, like.

But wait, I identify as a woman. Maybe I can't go yourself. You can.

Here's what's so crazy. Like with I, I, I feel like I'm a little more open minded than you, but I still think they're just slightly. I'm a lot more open minded than you, but I feel like raising four daughters, they're being raised in a world where you've got to teach them to have a spine, but also be like somewhat open minded. And I see that in Bailey and I, because even though she says stuff that triggers you when she says something. She says, it was so much conviction and so much like, I don't care. So to me, it's like, she's got least standards and boundaries and, like, can hold frame.

Dude, it's awesome.

So even though you guys banter a lot on certain topics, I just love that both of you are, like, just holding your own. Do you know what I mean? Because I think that's really with how things are going to be playing out. That's where you just got to, like, stand with what you believe and have integrity with what you believe. So I feel like we're raising, like, four savages.

They're amazing. Four savage daughters. Here's a piece. I'll go back to this word respect, right? Which is hold this whole Father's Day, Mother's Day. I know you're like, stop coming back and stopping and is. Because it's a perfect example. If a man shows massive respect to his woman for being a mother, then that woman must show respect to him for being a father. It's like, you don't get these babies without these guys. And at the same time, you don't get these babies without these girls. And at the same time, if both these people are not showing up in power, then the children are double fucked. Because again, bombarded by the cell phones all day long with all kinds of propaganda and bullshit. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. We now got dick tuck underwear at target. Like, the amount coming down the pile. I'm never gonna get off this transgender topic. I'm gonna blow this until the end. Will you wait? The elections are coming next year. I will lose my.

Why do you. Why do you let things make you so angry?

They don't. I like to feel this way.

Cool.

You don't like to feel angry. It makes me. That's basically an internal emotional hard on. I'm like, who wants to fight? Let's go. It's exciting for me. I like it. I like.

Is it ever, like, exhausting? A little bit, like, you're like, yeah.

After a couple years, I might have a break for a day. I've been married to you for 22 years.

I think you're married to me.

You better get up close to that microphone. They're gonna hear you at all.

I. You're so much bigger. I'm in this chair.

You can slide the. You can slide it back.

This feels silly.

There you go.

Like this. I'm like.

And just lounging. Just lounging. So here's the thing. That was a piece that changed for us in our relationship. Though, was respect. I swear to you, this is it. People like, was it sex? Was it love? Was it. No, it was respect.

Reason. The reason that there was respect, though. There is because I honestly think, because I started, like, working, and then you started have a little bit more respect for me, like, oh, she understands me. And then, like, you started going all in with the kids and, like, he gets it. So I just. I'm coming back to the point of, like, men and women can have it all and play dual role and still be masculine and feminine.

Yes.

And that's how it needs to be. Like, the old. The old. The old thought process that our parents were taught of, like, he's the hunter, you're the wife. Like, it does. Nobody wins in that situation. Like, the women want to have more purpose. And I think for women, it's very hard to have purpose and get paid for it. Right. There's even this, like, there was this place for me where I was like, well, I'm a hairstylist by trade. It's just a hobby, and I kill it now. Like, I make. I built an empire, but forever. And I was always working, but I called it a hobby because I didn't want to be labeled the provider. Because then there was this. This guilt of, like, I. I can't. I have to just be the mom role. Right. And so I feel like now it's just. It's more of a conversation of, like, that we. We really can. You can create whatever it is you want. And inside of these both, like, male and female roles. And I think that you and I have done it at some. Some level. And that's why there's that level of. Of respect. Because now I'm like, we can kind of play toe to toe, and we've and we've kind of, like, figured out this rhythm with one another.

Yeah. We used to have all kinds of narratives about me until she started producing.

Like, okay, so if. If I would imagine, like, if I was a guy and I'm married to a beautiful woman, whatever. She doesn't really have a purpose. She has no desire to have a purpose. She goes out with her girlfriends every the night or plays tennis or whatever. I'm not saying tennis is bad, but, like, she just is, like, content being, like, taken care of.

Most guys don't care what they want to be is told. They're amazing. They want to be touched frequently, be frequently.

Well, see, and I can. I mean, I don't know.

You give. You show me guys getting those things with a woman. I can have Conversation. Give a.

If she's playing, I flip it.

You were like, hey, go play pickleball, babe. I'm Go hunt. I'll be back.

Okay, great.

Tell me I'm the man again. Thank you.

If I flip it though, and you were like, you can buy whatever you want. We have fancy cars and yachts and planes and whatever. I would be bored out of my mind. Like, that would not like a guy that had that much wealth. I'd be like, I don't.

Well, now you know why all these. Now you know why Ashley Madison now you know why Ashley Madison website exists. Desperate housewives who want to. Because they're bored.

But that's what I'm saying. That to me, would not be fulfilling.

Of course. Why do you think all these women.

I. I'm like that. I would just be like, I have so much. I don't. There's not a bag. I don't.

And there's some. And there's some women. That's totally fine.

I don't think that. That's my point. I'm trying to get across those. I don't think a woman can be content with just like constantly like having this. This wealth. There's got to be something else to happiness. And that's why when you. That's why I flip the conversation. You're like, yeah, if he's getting a lot and touched and he'd be totally content. I'm like, woody, because a woman speaking from my perspective, if I had everything I wanted financially, it wouldn't be enough for me.

Here's what I'm telling you. Guys are easy. Guys do want powerful women in their lives, but power comes down to different. Power isn't say producing woman. I love that you're a producing woman. It's fantastic. I don't think all women have producers. I think the val. What? What? The relationship dynamic, the guys. Really?

You don't think you get bored? Like say we like this didn't work out and you're with a little 28 year old piece.

Why. Why we always go to the 28 year old?

Because she's definitely. I hear that's your window. That's your. If you're in your 50s, it might be like in their 30s.

But you're saying that because all these divorce guys are in their late 40s dating 28 year olds.

Like if it's young 20s, it's creepy. So it's definitely like 28 is the number.

Okay.

But like you're with this like hot piece of ass 28 years old. Tells you you're awesome every day. You frequently. Yeah, whatever you want. You. You'd be good with that.

And there's no drama and intellectual like. No drama and intellectual like, she can talk.

She's 28. She's hot.

Yeah.

She's super smart.

Tell me more.

She tells you she's.

Yes.

Every day. It you Every day.

Awesome. Let's get her.

I'm done. This podcast is officially or.

She's smart. She.

Thank you for.

She graduated from college.

Us today.

Hey, you painted the scenario. I'm just telling you, like, the bottom line for a guy. Yes. If she's dumb and she can't talk. Yeah. It's not gonna end life. But if she can talk, she's intellectual, she can carry a conversation.

She's never. She's never works.

Guys don't give a.

Okay. They don't give a. I promise, zero life experience.

Do you not understand?

She has the best pair of tits you've ever seen.

Yeah. That's great. It goes a long way, I'm not gonna lie. Listen, guys are really, really simple. It's funny if you look at women.

And men here, so it's so real, what I'm hearing.

You should believe it. Let me.

Like, here's what I can't believe. Term, like, more than just, like, six months.

I love that you're just trying to stretch the parameters so you can find a reason for this to be bullshit. But it's the truth.

Well, it just makes me sad.

Well, don't need to be sad. What makes me sad is all these older women who act like cunty in their marriage and expect their husbands to show up. They're country.

They're not taking care of.

They're not. They're being cunty, and they're not being taken care of because they're cunty. That's why they're criticizing. Constantly cutting his balls off, constantly talking shit, being negative. They need to be the crown, not the neck. Don't turn this man's head. Celebrate him, huh? That was fucking good.

Let's take a turn.

Record that shit. Good thing we did.

I was actually. I kind of tuned out for a minute.

Yeah. Well, here's the thing I want you to look at. Check this. If. If a guy. If somebody. Here's what guys want to know about their wife. Another guy's wife. There's only one thing I think in their mind is what she look like. If a guy's dating, like, dispersing. All my single guys get divorced. The one thing I'm not saying Is, hey, bro, does she have good eyelash extensions?

Is it like, is she having a good conversation because you said, no, we.

Don'T ask that at all. Not one guy asked that question, right? Hey, dude, she a sweet spirit? Tell me more about her soul. Not one guy asks. Not one. 75, 25. Doesn't matter. Same question. Guys will ask the same question. What does she look like? Then it will be all right, dude, you know, so how is she? Let me finish. Stop. Let me finish. You gotta do. Let me finish.

Okay.

They'll say that what does she look like? And then they'll say right along it. Okay, well, cool. Why do you like her? Like, tell me more. Right? Which typically be sexual, emotional, spiritual. Like, what? Like, what's going on? Tell me more about. But the first question is, what does she look like? What?

Do women ask, how much money does he make?

Exactly.

No, it's true.

All women ask my friends, what does he do? How much money does he make? So our entire game has been built, Women in their own circles. The. No, the first question women last, they don't ask, is this guy a good man? Is he good looking? Does he have good hair? Does he have good cheek lines? Got good glutes? I don't know. I don't have good glutes. So it's pretty old. They're asking questions. Give me a no. So, like, there's all these questions. No, you. There's about money, money, money, money.

My single friends, usually money. No, usually I will first ask if he's hot and then I will ask what he does.

I appreciate you change your answer right here live on the show.

Well, no, I'm thinking about a couple of my single friends.

And literally the first question I'll say is, what does he look like? Yeah, don't you see how you stutter right there? That was called stutter. Then.

But then if he's like, really cute, I'm like, oh, shoot. Then I want.

If he's really cute, here's what you pretty much know.

Then I figure he doesn't make money and he's just like a cute.

If he's a 12 packer and he's like 29, super shredded, works out a.

Lifetime nine times a day, I'm like, oh, cute. Good for. But I'm almost like, good for you.

Yeah, good.

But then if I'm like, is he cute? And it's like a conversation, then the second question is, what does he do?

I know. Guess where, guess where. What does she do? Sits on the list for guys like number 74. Question. Wow. Guys don't give a shit what you do.

So here's guys give a shit about.

How you show up with them. Men want to feel like the man. That's it. There's not one man. Black, white, Polynesian, Asian, Latino, don't give a fuck. Don't care if you speak English, Mandarin Chinese, Spanish, doesn't matter. All guys are the same. At the end of the day, a man wants to feel like he is the man if his helm. I'm the man of my house. The problem is most women are being taught to be cunty. And so they constantly are checking and cross checking and pecking and pecking and.

Pecking and pecking, pecking and pecking.

I'm gonna go until you let me finish my statement. Stop cutting me off. Cross checking and pecking.

And cross checking and pecking.

Cross checking and pecking across chicken. And pecking, and cross checking and pecking and cross checking and pecking.

Are you done?

Are you done?

You've been talking for, like, 20 minutes.

So I just don't even have a watch on.

I do.

You didn't look at it. You didn't know.

Your internal body clock say women are being cunty. It goes both ways. Like, of course, it could be like it does. Like, it doesn't go back to. The woman doesn't just want to be financially taken care of. Like, she still wants to be seduced. She still wants time.

Yes.

She doesn't want her man to just be the hunter. She may have thought that she may have been like, this is enough for me. I just need him to go out and hunt and produce and do all that. And then all of a sudden, she's like, oh, I'm, like, bored. And like, now I'm kind of resenting him because he's traveling all the time. And now, like, I'm not even attracted to him. And now, like, freaking. The pool boy is looking pretty sexy right now.

Yeah.

And so you can say these women are being cunty, but the guys are not showing up for being more than just the hunter and the provider. The guys are taught that that's enough and that's all they have to do.

And that's what girls tell us.

And no. And so women tell you.

Been married for seven years.

Women have been.

Women start interrupting me.

It's because women then get to this place where they want more. But you're right, they don't know how to communicate it. They're like, I've got everything I wanted. I've been told that All I need to do is, is be taken care of and that should be enough. And so then they're like, confused and they're like, well, I want more. And that's what drives them to cheat or be disconnected or whatever it is. Because the man is not showing up because he's been told that if he's a producing man, that's all he has to do. Men are literally just taught, like, why money? So I don't have to do any of the other work. And that's what I want to bring across is like, you show up differently because I demand you show up differently because I know that we both want the same thing. I know that we both want to be connected. And that doesn't just come with being a provider. And also, I've, for me, it's like, okay, then I can be this feisty person, I can have my purpose and my business and all this thing, but I have to dial it and be more feminine for you. And so I feel like I do a good job of crossing the line sexually, like doing the feminine role at home. Yeah, I mean, yeah, there's times I'm gonna be a. Like that'.

So what was the shift, though? Because for a long ass time, like.

I said in the beginning of the show, like, my, my theory was like, okay, I'm not getting what I'm wanting by, like, even if I, like, I'm like, I don't want to cross the line in whatever it is. Like, by being like, when you come home and be like, come on, let's go to the bedroom and have sex right now, like, whatever it is, like, there was. I wasn't crossing the line to, like, meet your needs. But then in not crossing the line and meeting your needs, my needs were not being met either. So I got to this place where I just kind of was like, why am I so angry? Why am I so mad? Like, what is going on? I'm like, well, what is the story that I'm telling myself? And what is the exact opposite thing that I could do? And that's honestly true. Like, so true. And that's even one of the reasons I started down, like, my fitness journey. I had all these running stories of like, well, you've had kids, you can't. You have to lower your expectations and your standards of yourself. And then I was like, flip the narrative of like, like, what if that isn't true? And what if I could do something different? And it's scary when you flip the narrative and the story because you literally have to like, change the thought process, even dealing down to relationships for me. And, like, my fitness thing, I was like, there's no way I can do this. And what was cool is to see the progress was so rewarding, because there's no such thing as being perfect, whether it's in your body or your fitness or your business. But progress, progress. When you see progress in yourself, that's when you can keep the momentum going, and that's when you're truly winning. And like I said, there's no such thing as perfection. But all of a sudden, you go from being. Having a crappy marriage to having a good marriage to having a great marriage, because you. You decided you weren't going to settle for this, and you wanted to break the narrative of how our parents were raised or taught or whatever it is. And so there's so much power in just being like, what if that's not true? And if I'm not getting the results in my life that I don't want, then I must do the exact opposite. We train so many people and we tell them this all day long. We're like, what if you did the exact opposite? And literally they're like, huh? You're like, yeah, what if you did the exact opposite? And you're. They're like, never thought of that. You're like, really? Because our patterns are so ingrained based on, like, how our parents did it and how we've been doing things for hundreds of years. And so you and I are, I think, are like a stand for, like, let's flip the narrative and do it differently. Like, truly, like, let's. And you're going to always fight for men, and I'm always going to fight for women. And you're always going to try to wake the men up, and I will try to wake the men and the women up, but I think, don't be greedy. Just try to do both.

Just wake the women up. Actually, I'm going to wake the women up, long as you might, too.

You do. You train thousands of artists that are primarily women.

Yeah. You've had all these major shifts, and I've had all these major shifts as individuals. And those shifts as individuals have allowed us to feel more and more respect and for the other person. And that has allowed for us to have collisions and conversation, but also to be two independent individuals, two independent people who do not need each other, who want each other. And out of that want comes respect, not need. And with that respect, and without that neediness comes an opportunity to truly choose. But it also keeps Everybody on edge because it keeps us on point of saying, all right, let's go. I came to you and collided with you in 2016. I said, Level the up or I'm out. Out. And you changed. You came to me in 2023 and said, Level the up or I'm out. And I've changed. Like, this is the power of the. These were significant collisions, both of us, very serious. I'm out of this marriage. You don't level this up and this up and this up. You came to me four months ago, three months ago, said, you don't level this up and start seeing me, I'm leaving you. So like we've had people looking from the outside and they're like, what happens as the game gets bigger? Well, I'll tell you what, look at the statistics and number of power players that stay together, it's almost zero. The number of couples who rise in power together and both have independence that can stay together is almost zero. This is why most couples have. You have doormats, either the guy's a purse boy or the woman's a doormat. And you've got these weak ass marriages where everybody, there's no polarity, there's no excitement, there's no passion. And in that place is because people don't have the courageous ability to be themselves and at the same time to respect fully collide with their partner.

I think too, like, I think there's this place of pain for a person when they're like, I'm no longer willing to tolerate this. That that place came comes so painful that it's like the topic of like, either you feel my pain, you see me, or I have to move on because I'm in too much of a painful place. So I feel like that was kind of like when you finally came to me and you're like, I can, I can't feel this pain anymore. Then I, then that's when I'm like, I have to shift. You know what I mean? Then same thing with you. I'm like, I don't want to feel this way, but it takes a very courageous person to have that conversation with your significant other. Of like, this is where I'm feeling, this is what I'm thinking and I'm no longer going to tolerate this anymore and I'm tired of feeling this way. I'm, I'm not interested in marrying somebody else. I'm not going to go out and cheat. But here's what I'm fucking thinking and here's what I'm feeling And I think that's where things. That's where I would say, you know, maybe couples, they. They feel guilty for communicating their feelings or, like, you know, whatever it is. But then when you get to this place where you're in such a painful space for yourself, that's when you're like, I. I have to communicate this to you. Otherwise nothing's going to change.

That was great.

It's just really hot by the fire.

Yeah, it's a little born by the hot. So I turn on the air conditioning inside the batch we got.

I'm like a mixture. My shoulders really cold on this side.

Cold on the left. Basically, you're warm. Then line it up together. You're good.

So I feel like this was a good, like, rebirth podcast.

Yeah. So you're. You're.

I didn't know what we're gonna talk about.

You're even spicier anywhere but forward last five times. You're doing great. High five. What's up? You've also gotten better sex and better being a mom and better being a woman, and better being a CEO and entrepreneur. You're just better and I'm better. And that's the fun part about this whole game. This is being better. Like, if you go back and even watch our first episodes where we are right now, you guys go back and watch the very first episode of My Daughter or My Wife and My Daughters on the podcast. You go back to 2018. Danielle could barely even talk. She was like. People were like, confused if she even had a conversation. Is she awake?

She's awake.

That's right. Leave her. Let's just wrap the show up, you know, Go get her yet. She's fine. Look at this. Come over here and get this. This is our life.

Well, see, my mom brain kicked in. I'm like, it's to. It's almost 3 o'.

Clock.

My baby gets up at 2:45. I'm like, she probably.

Look at her. Look at her dancer right here. Look at it. Look at this.

She's the best baby ever. Literally. She will not cry. She takes a nap and then she wakes up and, like, bounces in her crib and, like, sings to herself. But when she cries, I feel really bad because she doesn't cry. See, she's not.

She just.

You gotta wrap it up. I gotta get her.

All right, let's wrap it up. Okay, so here's the deal. I'm gonna leave you, bottom line with an idea. As a man, listen, respect is what you're missing. With your wife turned down. So we don't hear that if she's fine. Are you kidding me? All of a sudden in the middle of the podcast, you have to worry about it. You don't worry about it in the.

Morning, I'll bring her in.

All right, go grab her. Oh, you're giving me the microphone again by myself while you're gone? Okay, go get the baby.

Okay.

All right, so here's the deal. You ready for a little behind the scenes? Here's the behind the scenes truth. My wife is feisty as as you can tell. And the challenge is most of you want your wife to be feisty as. Most of you women want your husband to be feisty as too. You do. If you're honest, you want somebody has a courage to tell you how it is. The challenge is it's hard to hear what it is when you're in relationship where you get to hear what it is. That means you get to be confronted with truth from your spouse that you might not want to hear. And where the greatest change in your marriage comes is being willing to hear what you don't want to hear. And in hearing what you don't want to hear, having the courage to go do something about what you're hearing that you didn't want to hear. Oh, where's the baby? Breeze here. Breeze here. Okay, well, so there we are. That was a sneak peek. And the message. So being able to stand in that courageous place is what I've been doing with men for the past 10 years, which is true training and guiding men. And so if you're a woman watching this show and you have a husband or a boyfriend, that is not getting it, or you are currently in a marital relationship situation, you are a man, and you're watching this and you're like, dude, I'm hearing you. I'm feeling you. I get what you're talking about. But I, I, I don't get it. I have put together a series of tools. These tools we use every single day. They are tools about predictable power, predictable perspective on the world, the ability to produce, and the ultimate ability to drive people profits across body being balance and business. What we call having it all. This is how this marriage works out. It's how this podcast was even born. It's how our world was built. Our home, our kids, our family was built on this operating system called the Warriors Way. So if you are listening to the show, you were getting value from the show. Don't allow this to just be a mental hand job that you get every week. Listening to it's great. I appreciate it. It's fun. It's enjoyable. I'm an at times. My wife's going to be a sometimes. And it's going to be fun being on the show this way. And we're also amazing. Both two human beings have our own perspectives. But if you keep listening to this show and you don't go to WakeUpWarrior.com and get the tools, just know you've chosen to be a spectator in this game. And the minute you stop being a spectator, the we're talking about in this show will start to actually unfold for you also. So go to wake up, warrior.

Amazing wife.

You do have to have an amazing.

Wife who wants to play the game with you.

Exactly. And that means that many of you watching this, you ready? You ready for this? Here's the hard part. There's a percentage of you, probably 20, 30% of you listening to the show right now, you should get divorced. That's a hard one to hear. Yeah. You're married to the wrong person. This person you're with is never going to grow. Well, they're. They're never going to. Let me finish. They're never going to grow. They're not, and you know it. There's not a damn thing you could do that's going to change this other person. Edit. Let me finish. Don't. Don't jump in on my flow right now. Hold on. Not going to change. There are guys listening to this thing right now and their women listening right now. You know, your entire world was led to this episode right here, right now, to this exact moment. The message I'm sharing with you. God called you into this message right here. You need to hear this. Choose to find you. And in finding you, get committed to a marriage and a relationship that matters to you. Invite your spouse into that journey. But if they are unwilling to take it with you, you got to ask yourself a really hard question. Are you willing to settle for the next 30 years for a life of mediocrity, disgust, and ultimate suppression? Or is it time to just cut the cord and move on? And while that may seem negative and dysfunctional, here's the truth. Most marriages, Most marriages are not going to work out. And the worst is people who are not going to work out, who pretend they are. Because then your whole life becomes nothing but plastic and you have to pretend that everything's okay. When I got done being pretending in our marriage and my wife stopped pretending in our marriage, things got real. And they got real fast. They got real and it Got heavy and it got hot, and it works. So give us our final words. Now you can talk. I'm not trying to control you, woman. I'm just saying don't cut me off. No, I wasn't shushing you. I don't like it when you don't listen to what I'm saying in my flow.

You're not gonna pause. So I'm like, oh, should I jump in? And then.

You weren't hearing my pause. You weren't hearing my pause. My pause was for dramatic effect for they could listen to it. It. You were trying to jump right into the middle of my moment. You're seeing happen real time right now, by the way. This exactly how we are all the time.

I thought you wanted me to have final thoughts.

You were kind of having some thoughts, and then you decided to talk about some other thoughts. So what do you got?

I. I don't have any more thoughts. I. I'm. I'm kind of like, hot and sweaty from the fireplace.

My.

My final. My final thoughts, I guess, for this show would just be don't be afraid to speak with, like, what you want, like, truthfully, like. Yeah, Be courageous enough to have tough conversations and to be shushed by your hot husband.

Ah, at least we got a hot one. If it's not a hot one. Don't let him shush. It's the moose.

It's the only reason I let you shush me.

All right, we're out of here. Check it out. Wakeupwarrior.com if you're following either one of us on Instagram or social media, you can check out at Gary J. White on Instagram or Danielle at Danielle Kwhite Much Brands inside of the hair world too, at DKW styling.com we got a lot goes on our world. We are not trying to be perfect. And nor are we educational professionals on teaching you how to have a perfect marriage. What we are going to do is bring our imperfected lives to the table every single week in this show and show you how we live. Some of what we do may inspire you. Some of what we may do be totally ridiculous to you. And there are many things we do. You're going to go, that is stupid. I should never do that. That's okay. We're going to show you all of it. And from that place, you can make a decision. So until next week, have a great one. This is Garrett J. White and Danielle K. White signing off. What's our sign off?

You always say love and light, and I think it's so cheesy Signing off, saying signing off quickie, quickie porn star at a girl.