Sedating The Truth: The Dangers of Avoiding Conflict

And before that, I was drinking. It just takes the edge off. So you don't actually argue.

The problem is our life is good. Like, we've got, like, an abundant life. And so it's like, yeah, when you're sedating, life's good. You're like, there's not a lot of fighting.

There's not a lot of fighting because you've cut off all the. It's like. It's like getting a dog. It's like having a dog with no teeth. Try to. Try to eat meat.

Hello, and welcome to another episode of the date your wife podcast. Garrett and I started this podcast, like, five years ago under the premise of, like, probably 10 years ago, 12 years ago, we weren't sure if our marriage was going to make it, and so we started with the simple commitment of weekly date nights and going back to basically dating. Because there's a lot of things that work when you're dating, and all of a sudden you get married and, like, everything that you did when you're dating kind of goes out the window. And then you're like. You repeat those patterns for so many years, and you're like, how did I get here? So we started this podcast just working through our own shit as a married couple. We have five kids together, a dog, and we're still figuring things out. I follow the most random, funny Instagram account, and ironically, right when I we go to start this show, it's this account called Moms behaving badly. If you have a sense of humor, you probably like it. It stranger says, hey, is that guy bothering you? Me? Yeah. But he's my husband, so I signed up for this. How you feeling?

Today was spicy therapy session.

I wasn't planning on it being spicy.

But.

I don't think I felt like I. We, like, the last couple, or at least yesterday was like, a very, like, lovey day. And then I don't know if it's a problem.

Things can be lovey, but you still have to work on.

Yeah.

So the problem that everybody get into, gets into is you sedate truth.

Yeah.

And then you make pretend that everything's okay, even though underneath the surface, there's that you need to deal with, which is hard.

I think. I know. Well, that's like, one of the things I thought would be good to even talk about on the show is like, having the courage to be honest with your significant other. Because oftentimes when you. When you share your truth, it might not be their truth, and it could just be, like. It can just be painful and it could be something where it's like, fuck it, I don't want to fight anymore, or I don't want to have this collision or whatever. It is probably on both the guy's space and the woman's space. It's like, you worked all day, last thing you want to do is come home and fight. I've been with the kids all day or work, too. And, like, so it's hard to have these kind of tough conversations. And that's why we have found a lot of value in therapy, because it forces us to have these tough conversations, but also in a sober environment during the day, where we have a sounding board.

Why is sober environment important?

Because whether you partake in any kind of substance or alcohol, if you try to have a serious conversation, it will always end in either some kind of a fight or tears or something. So at least for. Or you say stupid shit. Like, you're like, I'm going to regret that tomorrow, versus, like, if you're in the middle of the day in a. Like I said, in a sober environment, and it's like work, you treat therapy or marriage like you would your business. At some level, it's work that needs to be done, not an afterthought after a couple drinks.

Are you coming to say hi? Oh, that's a beautiful picture. Is this for me? Thank you. Thank you.

Hey, you're cookies. Your cookies are so good.

Oh, wow. Beautiful design. All right, take some cookies and Dory and go to a different room while we do our podcast. Dory's got a slipper.

Well, but, yeah, I think that's an important thing to talk about as a sense of, like, it's hard as a married couple to have to work on things. And it's like, always, you can't work on things necessarily on date nights, especially if there is any kind of, like, drinking involved. And so it's like, you have to set aside time where you can actually talk, communicate, and work through issues. And so I think that's why, because we are so busy, and our date nights end up being kind of like, a little more chill. Like, I think we're both at the end of a work week, just kind of wanted to, like, relax and, like, lean. Lean into one another so well.

I mean, if you look at the topics we discuss in therapy, when would we have ever sat down for two hours and talked like.

Well, yeah, like, at dinner. You're not. It's work. It really is work. And like I said, like, on a date night, you almost don't want to Work. You're like, I worked all week or I was with the kids all week. You're like, you don't want to have these conversations because you're like, I want to relax and be with you. But that's what I'm saying. There are conversations that have to happen. It's like maintenance in a marriage.

Hugs. Come here, mug.

Good job on your cookies, Isla.

Job on your cookies, Baker Acre. Bam. Should we do free swimming tonight?

Oh, free swimming.

Oh, yeah. Naked swimming.

So free swimming is a new concept. We were swimming with Isla on Sunday and she has this cute little mermaid tail, is my four year old. And her mermaid tail kept falling off. She goes, mom, can I take this off? I am like, yeah, girl, go for it. So then she. Her swimsuit top kind of kept coming off too. She goes, mom, can I take this off? I might. Go for it. So anyway, she ended up stripping down naked. And I look over and she's. I'm just like laying out on the side. She's like, I'm free.

She was like, cheering it. Like she was free at last. Free at last. God almighty, free at last.

But it was cute. I mean, I'm sure we put her in the pool when she was like a baby, but now that she's gotten older, she's like, can I do this? And we have a pretty private backyard. And I was like, go for it.

I came out to go swim with her and she said, dad, you are not free.

Yeah, yeah. She was like, she wanted you to experience it.

So we were skinny dipping in the pool. It was fun.

I think that's cute that she wanted you to experience this dream.

She wanted me to feel free. She'd never skinnied it before.

She's like, do you want to try this?

So here's some interesting statistics. You ready?

Ready.

40 to 50% of divorces anticipated today will end in divorce. Women get divorced at a significantly higher rate compared to men.

Women do. How is that possible?

In particular, they get divorced at a rate of 7.7 per 1,000 citizens in the United States. I don't know. Maybe they get divorced, may get married and redivorced more. The most divorced state is Arkansas. Second one is South Dakota. Oklahoma's a third. Kentucky. Fourth. Oregon, Indiana, Nevada, Utah, Missouri, Tennessee. How is California not.

I know, right?

California's down big.

California's too big.

Too many people.

Too many people.

Well, the interesting thing about divorce though, too it's interesting is a lot of statistics. It's showing here@divorce.com. huh, is it? I Mean, there's like, a massive spike of divorce rates happening with men and women in their 50s, but 50s is.

Like the new 40s, I feel like.

But it's happened. If you look at what's happening there, though, if you, for example, if you leveraged a substance, marijuana, alcohol, feel free, whatever the fuck your choice is, and you leverage this substance for 20 years to cut the edge off of any collision in relationship, which you could. And if two people were sedating regularly, if you're in the Mormon culture, you just eat 15 bags of donuts and call it good, or you pop pills, because that's legal, right? I'm not actually doing anything. I'm just popping 5 Xanax. I should be good. So, like, we. Everybody's taking the edge off with something. And so the challenge, I told you is when I got off Feel free, and I detoxed off feel free, which people don't know this is. I'll tell you right now, it's not. Feel free is not. Listen. The instructions were simple. Feel free. The Feel Free company out of Santa Monica said, drink one a day. So it's like when you drink one a day, and then it becomes two a day. And then over, like, nine months, it became like three a day. And then over a year, it became like four a day. And then, like, I hit a huge stress level, and then it became like six to eight a day, and then it was like drinking them all day. And then there was a couple days with, like, 10 where I literally was, like, waking up in night sweats in the middle of the fucking night. During all that, though, like, there was this. There was not much fighting. You would yell at me when you were drinking, and we were on date night about how much feel free I was drinking, but really wasn't a lot of fighting. Which means. So the challenge was like. And before that, I was drinking. It just takes the edge off. So you don't actually argue.

The problem is our life is good. Like, we've got, like, an abundant life. And so it's like, yeah, when you're sedating, life's good. You're like, there's not a lot of fighting.

There's not a lot of fighting because you've cut off all the. It's like. It's like getting a dog. It's like having a dog with no teeth. Try to. Try to eat.

What was there a lack of.

Well, there's lack of connection and there's lack of edge. You can't have connection without edge. The greatest sex we ever have is after we fight. No. Yes. Some of the greatest sex we've ever had is makeup sex. We never used to have it much because we were both just sedating the edges.

Yeah.

So now it's like the polarity of that push, pull up, down, like creates all kinds of interesting things. But here's my point is, like, you get into these addictions and then you're in a relationship, but you're kind of not in a relationship same time. Because you're like in a relationship with a person, but you're muting a piece of you at the same time. So if I'm. If I'm doing this for 20 years, though, and then the kids all move out of the house and then you try to get sober. And I told you this back in March, I remember specifically telling you, I said, the minute I go off this, I need you to understand there's rage and anger under there that I'm still trying to process. So when we go into therapy and it comes out, don't be surprised. You've been surprised. You're like, I can't believe this is here. I told you this was going to come. Because when you use any sedation mechanism, even strategically, you're holding down pressure and truth.

Yeah, but I would take that and being more connected to you versus the numbness. I would. So as much as I'm like, God, you're so angry. You can't say, like, I can't say that to you. I'm just simply stating you're so angry.

So are you. You were so angry on Sunday.

Okay, but. But what I'm saying is I would rather have feeling than numbness all day long. You can give me all the cars and the houses in the world, but if I'm not connected to the person I'm with, I'll give it all back. I'm like, take the house. It's not what I want. I don't actually believe that that's what people want. That's why they sedate, because of lack of connection. And so for me, I was like, like I said, like even last year, even though I could tell we were both sedating a little bit, I was just. There was this piece of me that like I told you in the beginning of the year, I was like, why am I sad? Why am I sad? I have beautiful children, beautiful cars, beautiful house. I have, I built dream life. I've got a very purpose driven job. So do you. Why am I sad? And I was like, because at some level, we're both sedating And I don't want a B minus marriage. I want an A plus marriage, which comes with natural connection and otherwise the money in the cars. It does. It's. It's fun, but it doesn't really fulfill me enough.

I mean, here's the thing. If you look at. Just take for a second. We go on two date nights a week. We go on vacation nearly every month to five or six weeks. We have therapy two hours every week. We do a podcast for an hour every week. We sit with our CFO for an hour and a half every week. And most nights, we're hanging out by like 8 o'. Clock. From all intents and purposes, we have fucking won the game. And if we can get to that place and still be irritated as fuck at times, then what chance do you think you have? You don't even go on a date night. You're like, well, we're good. Most, here's the thing.

You submit to a B plus or B minus marriage if you're lucky.

B plus. It's like a D minus.

Yeah, you're just. You're just kind of there and you're like, he's cute. We have sex sometimes. He pays for me. And I love him. I think I love him.

I don't know how guys. I don't know how guys and girls can endure it. I think that's why most, a lot of people are not getting married now. I think it's why there's so many open relationships.

I also think, too, that we essentially have it all and built it all. But how can you feel this emptiness when you have it all? And I genuinely believe it's because human beings are meant to have connection like you just are. And whether it's with your significant other or somebody else, like, we want to be seen and heard and connected, and the money's great. But when you get to this place where you have the power to produce and you're like, yeah, I could burn this business, probably rebuild it, because I'm kind of bored. But ultimately, why would I do that? What am I really searching for?

So we've had collision at the core. There's been collision. And we talked about the collision in March. I've had collisions with you, you've had collisions with me. One of the things interesting is that, do you really believe that what we have is a we, we built this.

I was thinking about that just recently.

Upstairs, because sometimes you like to just say I. It's like looking at your kids and when they do bad shit, you say they're My kids. But then we do good shit. They're our kids.

I'm asking you this question. I'm really hoping it doesn't turn into a fight on a podcast.

Well, I'm gonna find out. Off you go. I'm eating blueberries. They got magic in them. These are magic mushroom blueberries.

I feel like I'm a very. I feel like I'm a very hard working, conscious woman who has also worked on herself. And I sometimes believe that you think I feel I could be totally wrong enough that you feel like you could have built everything without me. Maybe not like the same way, but like the success that you have. I believe that you believe you could build on your own. And I think that you don't think that I could have the success that I have. I think that you think or believe that you built my company. And I don't resonate as that being truth for me. So when you say things like, do you believe this is a we? I'm like, I do. I believe that you, you, you did help me inside of my business. I'm just using business as an example. I'm like, but I don't think that you built. I don't think it's your business. Like, I do an immense amount of work in it. And so I feel this weird thing where you want all the credit for my business and your business. And I'm like, but why can't it goes both ways? Like you want words of validation, all these things, but like, I want credit for the work that I've done in my company.

You said like 10 things, so what do you want me to focus on?

Huh?

You've just said like 10 things, so what do you want me to focus on? It went from one idea to another day to, you're like stacking ideas right now.

I was just like thinking upstairs, I was like, I think he thinks he. He built. I don't think he acknowledges how hard I work.

And I think these are two different things. There's acknowledging how you hard you work and there's acknowledging what I did to make sure your brand went.

Did you say acknowledging how I hard work?

How hard you work? There's acknowledging how hard you work and there's acknowledging what my role was. For example, you can. Eckhart Tolle is a good example. Eckhart Tolle wrote the Power now. Eight years the book had been out. He was great. He's got a little weird voice teaching people about being here now. He's a great spiritual leader. Son of guys outside doing the Lawn.

Tuesdays are wild around here.

Son of a gun. Anyways, he had written the book for eight years. Walking around, poor, handling himself, doing okay. Doing a little vent here, a little vent there. Then an event, a group of marketers came along, found Eckhart Tolle in his book, took his book to New York Times bestseller. Took him around the world, filled up stadiums, he speaks in trains, Best friends of Oprah. Big name blows him up. Eckhart Tolle was always Eckhart Tolle. But without these marketers, Eckhart Tolle was just Eckhart Tolle. In a smaller way, I was the marketer to your brand.

I feel like I am a phenomenal marketer.

I'm not saying it.

And I believe that I built my brand. And so there's just this. This. This piece where, like, Because I was thinking about in our conversation with, like, therapy, and you want me to, like, acknowledge all these things you've done. And I'm always trying to find, like, there's what you're saying, but then what is. Like, I believe there's truth in what you're saying, but there's also, like, an underlying what do you want?

What I want? What do I want? What do I really want?

No, I know what you want. I know what I'm saying. I was just like. So then I was like, thinking. I'm like, he. He. And. And I. I imagine that a lot of men, they want this. They want credit, they want. They want to feel validated and heard and credit and all these things. I'm like, does he think that I. That he built my whole company? I. Your energy is that you have done it all. Like, you just even said you, Eckhart Tolle, would be nothing without these markets.

I didn't say it'd be nothing. I said that was totally.

Weird. I actually think I am a phenomenal marketer.

You are a phenomenal marketer.

And I built a product, and I feel like I'm fairly smart.

Who pushed you to do YouTube?

It doesn't matter.

Just acknowledge. Who pushed you to do YouTube? Me. Who pushed you to get a blog? Who built the contract?

But listen, just to be a cheerleader is not to be my brother.

There's more than cheerleader. I was behind the camera compelling you to do it. You wouldn't do your first videos. Who recorded the hair extension in the kitchen?

See, this is where I, with Michelle Money. Want credit for all my.

No, I don't want credit for. I want credit for the power of my influence on your pivots and it wasn't one. It was hundreds of pivots in the brand called DKW Styling. So you are the brand. You created the method. What shit do I know about beadwork and stitch work? Nothing.

So what pivots have I made with you?

And we can go down that list. You've made tons. But if you come back to the very beginning, who pulled out the camera and recorded the YouTube video that got you traction with Michelle Money from the Bachelorette? Me. Who was feeling uncomfortable at it? You. Who didn't Want to do YouTube videos? You. Who didn't want to tell people what I want you to do next is. Nope. That was the origin, genesis, and that's the beginning of a thousand things that happened. Who didn't want to buy the salon? You're good at getting people, but that's what I'm saying. Who didn't want to buy the salon? You. Who didn't want to bring on team members? You. Who didn't want to push to get the hairline? You. There was a lot of things you didn't want to do. Who didn't think we could charge 5,000 for ticket? You. Who thought it was stupid to put them in the hotel? You. Who thought it was dumb to get the training room? You. What I'm saying is that each crucial piece I played a role in you exploding to the next level.

That's what you do with your high end clients.

You get them to know and guess what they say. And guess what they say. I could not do it without Garrett J. White. This is what they say. Because it's a fact. It's a fucking fact. So then you get to a place of saying, okay, I know what critical pivots I played in your business becoming what it is. I'm not saying you couldn't build a business by yourself. You'd be a totally different woman without me in your life. I have no doubt that you would rise and be who you are. But what you have wouldn't be what you have. It may be something different, maybe something bigger. Maybe you found a different guy who was more logical, more emotional, way better with the spreadsheets, way better with the data. Maybe. Fuck, he's maybe even better in the bed sheets because he was better in the bed sheets and the spreadsheets.

That's what I want.

I'm an asshat. This safe guy.

I want the sexy spreadsheet.

Give him an ass hat. And I'm not saying that you couldn't do all those things, but I'm saying is across the board, even the big meeting that's happening tomorrow, who's being asked to come into it? Me. Why do you want me in the meeting? You can handle it.

No, here's what I'll tell you.

You guys bring me in as a heavy hitter to fuck shit up so that it goes.

No, I bring you. I. I bring you in because people take it more serious. They're like, oh, Garrett's in it.

So I do matter in equation.

Then, yeah, I'm using you.

Yeah, okay, that's fine. Use me. That's fine.

On your stages, you use me because I'm the hot wife.

I get it. We didn't put you on stage for the first eight years of Warrior because you wouldn't be on the stage. Do you remember when I said, you're going to speak on stage? Remember when I made you do the first podcast? You wouldn't do it. You're like, I'm not doing this podcast. I said, you're launching big money stylist. I want you to just look one thing. You are amazingly talented, beautiful, and exceptional in who you are as a woman. I'm not taking that from you. I am saying without me as nitrous up your ass and willingness to do shit that makes you fucking terrified, you would not have done 85% of the shit that's happened, period. Because we have a track record, including the people that we've hired.

I've done a lot of work, and I have not. Not acknowledged you for it.

Oh, you haven't acknowledged me for it because you.

I'm. I don't feel like it's reciprocated in the sense that I'm given credit for the work that I've done. It always comes back to like, you're welcome in dkw. You're welcome.

You've done incredible.

You're welcome.

You did the most important.

Okay, but you're welcome.

You did the most important work that exists in anything. There'll be nothing I can ever do in my entire life that can eclipse what you've done. Nothing. There won't be one thing on this entire Earth. Nothing. I create nothing. I build nothing. I know how much money I make. No matter how much impact I make, no matter what change I bring the world, I can work with every fucking president in the world as the nation's leaders, as my clients. There's still nothing I could ever do in this fucking lifetime to compete with you. You have done the single greatest things that have ever been done in our family. Bailey, Ruby, Charlie, and Isla. No matter what happens, you created physical life God gave you as a way. It doesn't matter. What are you talking about?

That's not where we're going with this.

This is where I'm going with this. Which means in my mind, there's nothing.

No matter what I do, for making the babies.

Didn't say, you're only good for making the babies. Don't be a feminist psycho right now.

I'm not being a femin. Listen, right here, you're trying to switch the subject to be like, I'm going to acknowledge you for the children, but nothing else.

I did. Did I say that? Did I say nothing else? Did I say nothing else? I want you to watch how you do that. I am making a comment, and then you fill in the blank like you're smearing peanut butter from one gap to another. I didn't say any of that. You would just assume.

You change it to that.

I didn't. I. Because I teach in parables and I give examples.

Okay?

I'm elevating you up on a pedestal and saying, no matter what I do. You're not listening. Listen. No matter what I do, there'll be nothing I can ever create that will eclipse the greatness and the vastness of who you are as a woman, in your ability to create life. I cannot touch this. Never. Nothing I will ever do my whole life.

Well, you planted the sperm.

There's. Yes, but there's. You created the body. You created, you nurtured, you carried, you recovered. You did all of it. You, as a woman, need to be elevated above me forever. And I used you as a shield in production for years. I threw you out in front of people. And we were talking about this at our event this last weekend. And I know that. I know that as a man, I did that. And so it turned you, in many ways, into a hardened woman. Like a lot of hardened women have become. Were super soft, super feminine, super in the power that God has given them. And fucking idiot men like me and so many other men we couldn't see. And so we threw you out on the front lines. And nowadays it's even worse. We even have our son talking about his girlfriend should pay half the fucking bills. I'm like, you're a fucking embarrassment, son. Don't do that. I love you, but that's stupid thinking. Pay all the fucking bills. This split the game. So the challenge is that for years I treated you like this. I did not treat you like a queen. I did not treat you like a woman. That should be Valued and held up and esteemed. I did not protect the space for you to feel safe. And so you started going into production full bore for one reason, because you thought I was unsafe and unwilling and incapable of providing. And I was at the time. You didn't start in a production because you were purpose. You started because you were like, this guy's a pussy and I'm out of here. So have I played a role? Yes. Have you? Are you the thought process, the brand, the beauty, the brand, the whole thing. Are you all of the beauty?

And I'm glad that you did that because I, the person I've become in the process, like, I'm a very shy, introverted person. And like the woman that I've become, I'm like, whoa, I'm never going to go back to that person. Like, I feel way more powerful now.

Yeah.

So even if you feel like you threw me out in the front lines, like you came back and rose, had you not, we wouldn't be still together. I would have rose in my power and been like, see you later. And so I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing that you did that.

But it created this interesting dilemma, like, because like we talk a lot about, I'm gonna come back to this. So what credit is doing Warrior, Wake Up Warrior can't exist without you at all. I would not have done Wake up Warrior. I would have been in financial services. Could I have made a buck ton of money in insurance? Yes. Would I make money in financial services? Yes. If we gotten divorced in 2009, would have I found my way back to financial services? Yes. Would I still have been rich? Yes. Would you have been rich? Yes. And you'd probably marry to some fucking billionaire that's like 67 years old who has a big ass jet and a fleet of jets and you fly around the fuck you want and that'd be great and that'd be great for you and I would have gone on and done some shit anyways. I wasn't gonna sit around on my ass and do nothing. I would have figured shit out and made money. I would have got rich too. The challenge is though, was that you were a key piece. You are the story of Warrior. We've already talked about this. You are the wake up to the wake up Warrior. How the fuck could you be anything else? You're Genesis, chapter one, verse one, two and three.

I get really scolded for waking up the Warrior though.

No, you take the heat of waking up a sleep warrior, which comes with the consequence but you don't think I pay the price every day. I pay this price every day on the audience that I deal with. There's a price to being one called to wake people up. You stepped into this, and I'm proud of you. I'm proud of the woman that you've become. If I go back to the girl that was so terrified to be on a microphone in 2018, when we launched the first podcast, you were terrified. You were just like, go back and watch videos. Go Google it. Go, go Google big money, stylist or date your wife. Podcast 2018, you'll see Danielle and you'll see who she became because you became confident, certain empowered. Everything for me was about trying to elevate you. I just got confused along the way, like, trying to do that.

I do believe that women in general, though, are called to wake their men up. Like, I think it's just me. Like, and that was like, one of the things when in the past, whenever I felt like I was in a situation in my marriage where I didn't like the direction it was going, it was because I didn't communicate what I wanted, what my feelings were. I didn't wake my man up to being, like, present to what I needed to be connected. And so I think, and I've said this on so many podcasts recently, but I think that that is whether you're a working woman or not, it is our responsibility to continuously wake the men up. Especially successful men, they need connection more than anything else. So I, like, I said, like, I, I feel like I, I, I think I operate and think a lot like a guy, because I have been in, like, the trenches and had to figure out how to provide and took on that role. But ultimately, I actually think I am, like, a very feminine woman. So it's just trying to, like, toggle this, this, this woman that I become, but, like, know when to kind of reel her back in and, like, be feminine and be sexy. And I feel like I've actually done a really good job of, of figuring that out. And I think that was why even in this last year, I was like, with that lot or the last couple babies we've had, I really had no choice. I was like, I've got to put time into the kids. And it just kind of felt like I was. Couldn't put as much energy into my business than I wanted to. And then this last year, I felt like I, like, kind of was like, okay, well, my kids are done and I'm ready to get back. Not as heavily involved in business because I don't like that like aggressive, masculine side of me, but enough to where I can kind of do both. I can tap into both energies.

A lot of work.

But then I feel like it's like you like this kind of aggressive side of me, but then some. But. But then sometimes you don't like it. Sometimes she's an aggressive bitch and sometimes she's sexy aggressive. I'm like, I don't know. Now this is just me.

Weren't if you weren't doing business and you were, you were just like, you were like not a businesswoman and you weren't a producer. I know we've talked about this at times because I had this conversation a lot. Guys, a lot.

I would just be passive.

But a lot of guys don't want producing women. Why? Is it not because they want. It's not because. No, it's not even because it's threatening. It's because they don't want the masculine shield from a woman.

I think it's threatening.

No, but it's not. It's not. Listen, I talk to the guys. You can think what you want. You're a woman. I talk to the men. The men. The common response is all the men is this. They don't really want, particularly guys that are divorced or guys who are single and even guys who are married to hardcore producing women. It's a very difficult prospect. There are way more 40 plus single hardcore producing women who are single who don't have a prospect. Then there are guys over the same age. And the reason is why, because you, to be successful in the business space, have to have a masculine access point.

I think that you don't think it's intimidation.

I'm sure at a certain point it is, but at another point it's not.

There was a session that we even had in therapy where the therapist straight up looked at you and said, do you find your wife intimidating? And you're like, yeah, yeah. So I would imagine that guys don't like to have that feeling.

Well, no guy wants to come home and feel like he's in competition with his wife. Nobody wants to feel that.

Well, yeah, but there's not.

It's not attractive to a guy. Guy doesn't want to come home and be like, oh great again, I just fuck him as a competition all day long. Now I got to come home and be in masculine competition with boobs and vagina over here.

What if I don't want to be in competition but I still want to produce?

Well, that's then you have to drop the shield.

As a woman, I feel like I do.

You do sometimes. And you're doing a lot better than you've ever done. So what? But that's the thing, though. You had to learn to pick the shield up to go wage war. You. Part of that was brought on by me. Part of that was brought because guys go through this too. They're like.

But then guys say on the flip side, they're like, I really want a woman who has purpose. Like, I hear so many guys in.

Your event, but a woman having purpose and a woman full time running a business are two different things. A lot of guys like, is your.

Problem running a business? My business operates with or without me. Like, I can choose to be there. I can choose to not. I can delegate. Right now, I really love my business. I bring in a few million a year with just hanging out with the kiddos. Like, that's great. That's really sexy to me. I can. So for me, I'm like, I think that men are confused about even what they want, which is going to take me right back to the same thing. They want connection, just like the woman wants connection.

Do a lot of telling what you think guys want.

Well, that's because I hear guys in your event all the time where they're like, I can, I can tell they're almost like attracted to my energy.

Of course you're attracted to your certainty.

They're. But they, they almost want their wives to have this certainty or this purpose. Or they, they're kind of like, I want you to work, but don't work too hard. Don't work too hard to where I feel intimidated because I don't want to feel like you're a dude. So it's like, women are confused. We're like, wait, you want me to show up and have purpose and power and have a business, but not too successful? Because if I'm too successful, I'm intimidating. And now I'm a dude. Like, that's what I don't get.

Because you're not listening.

I don't know.

You're a girl. Trying to tell me as a boy what I think.

Okay.

And what guys think you're a girl. So how about I tell you, since I'm a guy, you can tell me how girls think.

Oh, I was just telling you what I experienced from the guys, but why.

Don'T you tell me what you think? So your, your story and your experiences, that. That's your story about guys.

Okay.

What else do you know about girls and their perspective about guys, what else do you think? Tell me, because you're a woman. So tell me what else you talk and the girls and the girl talk in the salon. What do girls think about being producing women? I don't know. I'm not sitting in those conversations.

No, let's take it back to, like, your guys, like, do they, like.

Do you not talk to your girls about it?

No. You didn't answer my question.

Like, really, do guys feel threatened? Sure. Some guys do. Yeah.

No, but how come on the flip side of guys saying, I just want this feminine wife, I believe that they want a wife that has purpose, who has drive. That's sexy to a guy, isn't it?

Not to some guys, but what do you mean by drive?

Is it sexy if a woman just plans luncheons and spends his money and goes on it?

Depends. Is she nice? Is she kind? Does she speak words of positivity over him? Does she fuck him a lot? Does she touch him?

She spends his money, but she's pretty.

Okay, so all she does is do luncheons, spends his money, and that's it. No guy wants that. Tell me more. Because she's got to have more than just spends his money. And it looks nice for a woman.

To never argue with her husband or never be, like, trigger him.

We're not talking about arguing. Look at you. Go to the negative. I said the following.

Yes.

Does she show up?

She shows up.

Is she positive? Does she him? Does she touch him?

She also fights sometimes. She.

We're not talking, but now we're talking about fighting and being a bitch. We're not talking about working, producing. You're at like. I want you to look at you. Your own head gets fucked up in this.

No, no, no. You don't like what I'm saying.

It has nothing to do with life. There's no reframing. You want to put words in men's mouth about what men feel. You're a woman.

I just experience from your events that I go to.

Okay, what did you hear specifically? You've had one or two conversations.

I've gone through the last. I've gone to a lot of your events, and a lot of the guys pull me aside and want to, like, pick my brain.

And I'm like a lot being two or three in the last year, every.

Event I go to.

Okay, good. So you've had some comments from a few guys.

And what, you bring me in and I talk. It's multiple comments with multiple men. And when you bring them to our house and we're talking and there's multiple conversations.

What did they do?

I feel like I'm actually more involved in conversations with your men than I am in the salon because I'm not working behind the chair that much.

Okay.

So I feel like I'm actually more. Like, when you're telling about the salon, I'm like, I really can. I have more experience hearing from you and going to your events and talking to these guys. So, yeah, that's all I was getting at is like, I just don't believe that you're gonna have a pretty woman who just shows up and says nice things to you, and that's gonna be enough.

That's. Again. There you are. You just cut all the. I didn't say that. The case. No. Guy's also going to sit around, look at the. Look at the interesting parts. I forgot the politician cutting shit off.

No, I forgot the original question. I even asked you, and I feel like you kind of dodged it.

I didn't dodge anything. We're coming back to giving you credit for what you built. I know loops. I close them. I'm a fucking professional. I got them all open. We'll close them all up.

Let's hear it.

We're just opening loops because they're relevant. So coming back to this, all I'm coming down to, as I said, we started talking about divorce and relationships and marriages. You have a man. Men are simple. Women are complex as fuck.

I disagree. Men are very complex.

Okay. What do you think is complex about a man?

Tell me the same thing. I feel like it's like. It's like two. Two human beings. You're speaking Japanese, and I'm speaking Spanish, and I'm like, why don't you understand me? I'm so. I'm speaking so clearly, and I'm like, I don't know. He sounds like gibberish to me. So as much as you think men are simple, I think women are simple. Okay, but keep going.

So tell me what's simple about a woman.

As much as everything that's simple from a guy you want to be taken care of. Okay, you just asked. And if you're going to laugh, then I'm not going to give you the answer.

No, you just reframed it back on guys. Come on, politician. Give me an answer.

Give the answer to.

What is this?

Close up your loop, Mr. White.

Okay, I'll happy. We just open another one. So now we got five open loops. I'll close all five. Like, little buttons on your shirt that I took off and I'm putting back up. You know how many buttons? But I wish you did. I'd take them all off right now. So this last. This last piece then you're talking about what makes it simple for. What does it make simple for a guy? Guys are very simple. Very simple.

Guys are easy is what they are.

Simple.

They're easy.

They're easy for you because we're so simple. But you girls like to fucking make it complicated and ridiculous. Touch me. Tell me. Fuck me. There are not anything you could do as a woman if these three things are happening and you are daily touching your man. Stop.

I didn't say.

You're doing the mouth thing, though. You're doing the mouth thing.

If I even like, look like I'm gonna breathe, you're like, don't cut me off.

It's not breathe. You breathe. I don't know what it looks.

You breathing. How dare you. Take a sip of your water. Don't cut me off. I will let you get your words out, sir. Go for it.

Let me.

What?

Let me. If a man is getting touched daily, I'm not taking. Listen, there's a whole shitload of stuff that guys got to get their shit straight with and focus on you. Give me the list of what that is. That's fine. Touch me. Tell me. Me. Here's the funniest formula to guy. If a guy is being told. Thank you. Thank you for all your work. Thank you for providing for the family. Thank you for protecting the family. Thank you for being the man in this house. Thank you for being a husband. Thank you for being a father. Thank you for taking on the stress of what it is to have to concern yourself daily about financial survival of your family. And at the same time, thank you for dealing with doing your best you can when you come home for a long day. Being all in with the kids. I know you're tired. Thank you for going all with the kids. Thank you for staying up later and listening to my emotional situation as a woman. Thank you for. Thank you.

If he gets all of these things.

You're not letting me finish the full description.

Let me finish. You paused. I thought you were done.

I was pausing for emphasis and you filled the space.

Okay, keep going, sir.

Touch me. Touch me physically. That's actually. Touch me. Some women do this. Many women are shitty at this.

I've gotten better.

You've gotten better. You were horrible at it. You wouldn't even hold my hand.

I wasn't raised in a really touchy family, but sit on his lap like I'm Pretty touchy.

Scratch his back, touch his arms, touch his neck, come up and kiss him from behind on the neck. Touch his face, touch his arms, legs. I'm not talking about talking. Touch his penis. That's number three. Number three, fuck him. Like, here's the deal. If guys had an easy button to women that included three things. Every day, I had to tell you, you're beautiful. You matter. Thank you for what? And then I had to be specific. Thank you for and something specific. Number two, I had to come up and touch you. Not sexual. Just had to touch you. And three, I had to fuck you. Men would master the game of relationship, but that's not how it is for women. Women don't want to hit those three buttons. Why I get to say an easy button every day. If you. Your husband, every day, touch him every day, told him every day, you'd win.

For me, I can't speak for all women, but for me, I speak for all the women.

You're a woman. Go for it.

I'm not gonna speak for all women. I speak for all. I feel like I am definitely more open to that if I feel emotionally connected with you. But I would agree that women want the same thing too. Maybe I didn't in the past, but, like, I. I love being touched as well and would love. Like, when you came home and you're like, you look hot and kiss the back of my neck. I'm not gonna turn that down. So I think that that goes both ways. Honestly, like, that would mean a lot to me if, like, you stop. If you. When you came home and you weren't, like, trying to finish up a thing or watching your latest live, if you literally. You came home and you walk through the door, and I'm the first thing you see, and you're like, God, you're hot. I'd be like, I'm yours tonight, buddy. Like, which angle do you want me? So I would say that it goes both ways. I don't think that that's.

You're telling me all this time we have been missing the TTF for the women you want to be told touched and fucked.

Yeah. I was like, but here's. Here's the only thing I was going to ask you. If the guy is getting all these things, then he has to be okay with the bitch that comes out every once in a while too. You can't have it all and not have a little bit of spice, because if you don't have the polarity, then you're. You're really just kind of well, then.

It gets dumb and it becomes normal, and normal becomes numb and numb. Yeah.

So that's what I'm saying. So as much as you're like, I want all these things, well, you also are saying that you want a spicy woman who's gonna call you out on your shit, too. There's not a man on the planet who is, if he's getting touched, told, fucked, or whatever, if his woman doesn't challenge him at some level, he's gonna get bored. So I understand you, and I'm agreeing with you, and I'm saying that women want that same thing, but there's also more to that. I do believe that both men and women want connection and polarity has to happen. Which is what takes us back to the beginning of this podcast, which is like, you've got to be willing to have tough conversations. Like, you just do. You gotta be able to work on your marriage like, you're gonna work on your successful business. And that's what we're doing right now. If we didn't do that, we would just kind of numb out. And we're both too powerful to just kind of numb out and, like, be like, well, you're the person I picked. I'm like, no, if you're the person, pick, then I want to continue to grow with you inside of this relationship and inside of our communication. And we still have kids that we're raising and communicating with. So I agree with your tell me, touch me me. And I'm going to raise the bar and say it goes that way too. But the only other piece, and I believe that men want it too, is connection and communication.

Connection is a function of tell me, touch me, fuck me for a minute.

Okay, well, if I were to verb.

When I'm told and I'm touched, if.

I were to verbiage it for the women, the ladies out there, we want to also feel validated that we are beautiful, amazing. We want to be told as well. We want to feel this connection that when we walk in the room, that we are the only thing that our man sees and that we matter.

So if you looked at it on a chart, on the left side would be told, touched, fucked. In the middle of the chart would be connection. On the right side of the chart would be told, touched. If we drew an arrow on this chart, on the left side, again of the chart, told, touched, fucked. The word connection in the middle of the chart and the far right side of the chart, told, touched, fucked. And then we drew an arrow about how to win the arrow Would start way over here on the left side of the chart. And it would point to the first column of items that says told, touched, fucked. That leads to connection, which leads to told, touch.

Does your brain always thinking, like drawing things out.

So what happens? Watch this thing, how this works? We just. I just solved marriage problems for everyone. If everyone would just get on the same page and we would start with the left column. Told, touch. Fucked is for the man. When a man feels told, touched and fucked, he feels connected in that connection. The woman now wants to be told, touched and fucked also because she feels connected. If you tie this in a circle and you put the word connection on the other side and you made this bend. We took the chart on this paper and we bent it and we put the word connection on both sides. And then we had two columns. It's an eternal circle. But in this world, we lay it flat. The entry to a happy life is just make sure your husband's fucked.

Gonna punch you in the face. This is stupidest analogy I've ever heard.

Hey, I would beg different. I talked to women all the time and I'm like, listen, you're upset at your husband. Can I ask you a straight question? Like, yes.

Yeah. What are the women say in your events lately?

I'm at women's event. I see women all over the place now. They're all over in our events. I asked the women straight. I said, let me ask you a straight question. You're unhappy with how your husband's showing up? Yes. Okay, say, I'm going to ask you. Like, this is going to be direct. Just. Just don't let your panties get written. And not big, huge knot. Here's the deal. How often are you fucking him? I'll ask him directly.

You know what I love about you?

What?

You say the most beautiful things. And then you'll be like, don't get your panties in a bunch. And you say something like, it was so beautiful. And then you had to say that.

Yeah, it just makes it better. It's great. Sprinkle in.

Almost you're like, now I don't. Okay, but keep going.

No, it's fine. Not apologizing for my beautiful analogies. Keep everybody's attention.

Yeah.

So ask her. I'll say, how often do you fuck him? And it always is silent. And the girl starts thinking. And then you'll start seeing the guilt over the face of some of the women. And then some of the women, like, like he gets it. Like he gets it whenever he wants. I go whenever he wants. No, Bullshit me whenever he wants. How does he really get it? I don't know, like maybe twice a week. I'm like, good. Is it vaginal masturbation or are you fucking him? She's like, what do you mean? I was like, you know exactly what I mean. I don't have to even describe vaginal masturbation. You're on top.

But are the guys not voicing how much they need it or they just need to.

No, most guys are just tired of being rejected. Business, they don't care, they're just tired of being rejected. So they stop asking, just like I did. They just stop asking. So then they end up in the suffering place. So then you have these guys that you want to feel connected to, but you're not fucking them. You don't drain his balls. He can't hear your. He can't hear your words. With full balls, he cannot hear you. All he can think about is God, all I'm looking at is her mouth right now and all I can think about is just drain them up.

Where does it go with us then? Because I feel like I'm a pretty.

Frequent purchaser of product from my balls.

I frequent the land of.

Last night I almost gave you a deposit. And then our baby ran in.

Geez, Nothing like a 4 year old when you're like, don't come in, don't come in.

We were trying to negotiate with her too so we could both finish. And she was hearing it.

I was like, if you just. I was like, Mommy just needs five minutes.

I was like, we need five more minutes. I was only 10 minutes. We're almost done. So you come back though. Listen, I'm not gonna say sex is gonna fix everything. It's not. But I like, I look at the foundational issues and it's like guys don't show up in their way. At which I come completely back and beat the guys on that. Yeah, I think girls need to start showing up sexually, but it's not even like connections.

Like if we lose trust or we don't feel like we're taking care of it, it's like a turn off.

We're like, no, we have 92 reasons. And then you want to be connected.

I'll tell you right now, if your husband. Husband's not producing, it is a turn off for sure.

But guess what's not going to get in producing faster? You holding out, making him jerk off to 15 different girls.

I'm just saying for women it's really hard. Like when, when we were in a space where Like, I just felt like you weren't. I. It was hard for me to be, like, attracted to you. And I felt like you were kind of like, I get it, you were, like, not producing. But not only that. Like, you were just very, like, down on yourself. And I feel like I married this man. I was like, I see you for who you become. You're very charismatic, very strong. So when we went through this period where I felt like we lost everything. And. And not only that, it was like, you weren't the man I married. I was like, where'd he go? And it was. It was hard for me to be attracted to that physically, emotionally, mentally, everything. So a lot of these women, they might be in a space where they're like. Especially if they're the producer and the husband's, like, kind of producing. Really. Even a producing woman at some level is probably like, in my experience, I'm like, please produce more than me, please. Like, I can produce and I want to. And that's great. But I need you to out produce me. I just need you to. Otherwise, this just not. I. I want to be taken care of. And I think that's natural for women to feel that. And I think that that's what creates very, like, hard feminist women is when they are. There are so much about, like, I can take care of myself. That's great. So can I. But I actually ultimately find it very sexy for a man to take care of me.

Yeah, well, I'm that man. And I'm telling you, we don't really know. It's like, people like, well, how do you know it would be better? It's like you saying to me, I'm saying, send me words of affirmation every day, please, via text. You're like, well, how do you know that's what you want? I was like, how do you know you haven't done it? Why don't you do it and then we'll find out. Same thing with sex. Like, well, what? How do you know that? It's just not all about sex. Relationship is blah, blah, blah. Well, why don't you fuck your man five times so we can find out.

What. On the flip side, what could the guys do?

Why don't you tell me? You're a woman. Tell me what a man could do to get more sex.

Make more money.

Okay.

If you're not producing, that's like, one thing girls want to be taken care of.

Okay, how much is more money?

I don't know. It's not necessarily about the dollar amount. It's Just like a producing man is sexy.

Okay. Guy can pay the bills and a little bit extra.

Sure. Everybody's. Whatever your standard is, is your standard.

So if a guy's paying the bills, he should get. Is that what you're saying?

Yeah, it's sexy. I don't care if you're young, old, whatever. Like, if you're taking care of your woman, that is sexy. So that's one thing.

That's okay. What else. What else would a man need to.

Do to be, like I said, like, when you. When you come home, especially for a successful producing man, you. If you could just, like, drop everything you're doing and just, like, kind of acknowledge. Hey, babe, how are you? How was your day? You look beautiful. I don't care if I'm in sweatpants. Like, literally. What?

You look hot in sweatpants.

I'm wearing sweatpants right now. But I think that the acknowledgement. Because successful men are so. Because you're so busy, it's. I'm sure. I mean, I can respect it. Like, you come home and I'm like, gotta shut it off. Gotta shut off. There's 17 more emails I could write, but I've got to shut my brain off and be present.

That's why men drink.

But that's. I'm saying, so if you. So instead, if it was like, not like, I'm so excited to get home and have a drink and sedate and relax instead, if it was like, I'm going to make a conscious effort to show my wife that I notice her right when I come in the door.

My God. Okay, so number one is make money. Number two is notice your wife when you come through the door. Equals lots of sex.

What else it equals that you're noticed? Women want to feel noticed, especially by their husband. They're like, I want to feel like he thinks I'm the most beautiful person on the planet.

Yeah, I agree. I can see that. I can see both those. Okay, what else? Pay the bills and a little extra. Give her attention right when you walk in the house.

Give her attention right when you walk in the house. And those, Those are my top two.

So two things. If a man produces and pays enough to pay the bills, Annie. And he makes more extra, so there's a little savings.

He gives his wife, like, conscious attention to, like, where he's like, locking in.

Like, babe, you're like, two minutes, one minute, five minutes.

I don't know. I can't put a time stamp on it. I just. I just feel like there's that, like, the days that you do that, I notice, like when you come home and you're like, hey, babe. And you literally, like, just come in. I'm like, I just, like, I just feel like I melt into butter.

I'm like, all right, okay, so I got that.

And then the days that you come home and you're like on your laptop or you're listening something, I. I'm like, babe, can you please turn that off? Do you notice I'll say that I'll be like making dinner or something. Babe, can you please turn that off? So it could be something as simple as that. Like how you say men are simple. Like, I promise, like, give that a shot. Doesn't even have to be every night, but, like, consciously, three, four times a week. When you come in the door, I'm the only thing that matters.

Okay, so we've got the formula for success. For guys, it's tell me, touch me, fuck me. And for girls, it's money. Produce matters.

Money matters.

Money matters.

And I don't care if you think I'm a shallow bitch. Like, that's why I didn't put like a number on it. I'm just saying, like, money as they produce, I still find it sexy to have a man take care of me.

Of course. And most feminine women feel that way. Most aggressive, hard women end up single.

They get so they get so they get.

You're aggressive and you make a bunch of money and you're producing woman. Don't be surprised. You're 27 year olds. Because you're here. Here's. I'm going to say something and I want this to land. This is going to land.

Please make it land with love.

It's going to land with love. And it's painful. If you take a woman single at 40, you take a man single at 40, divorcee, both counts, both producing, both equally producers in money. Okay, and we play this out over time. Play it out. What I will tell you right now is stock value on that man goes up every decade that goes past until he's in his 70s. Stock value on that woman goes down every decade she passed. She hits menopause in her 50s. It just keeps going down.

It doesn't necessarily go down.

It just means that she attraction factor and the available pool of men that want to date her gets smaller. As a guy gets older, the dating pool gets bigger.

Are you measuring that on successful men? Because I bet that successfully, I imagine.

That on successful men and women, if you put a successful man, successful woman together and you take and you say at 40, divorced, both of them, both had kids with somebody else. Both single, both on the prowl as the decades pass. If we take those 40 year olds and put them at 50, that man's stock value is higher than that woman's. To the marketplace and to demand.

I disagree.

And that there are more highly qualified women available to a 50 year old man than there are men to a 50 year old woman.

Hear me out. So you've got all these, you got the two 40 year olds and they got divorced. What does the 40 year old guy immediately go for? How old is she?

Probably 28.

Okay. The successful 40 year old woman also goes for the hot body. That's 28.

Yeah. And the only difference is at 50, he'll get the 28 year old. At 60, he'll get the 28 year Old. At 16, she's not getting the 27 year old.

Still get a 30 year old.

Not gonna happen.

I'm a hot 40 year old.

You are very hot.

In 10 years I'm just gonna go.

I'm not telling you you're gonna go to the crabber.

I'm telling you right now. If, I mean you look at somebody like all the celebrities in their 50s.

And you're like, yeah, what did Kim K. Say? What did Kim Kardashian say? She's a high producer, but I'm like.

Looking at like a Gwen Stefani. Isn't she like in her 50s? I'm like, she is hot.

Yeah.

And her boyfriend, he's not that much younger than her or hers. Her husband, I don't know, the country dude, he is younger than her and he's a producing man. So I hear you and I actually disagree with you.

That's fine, you can disagree with me.

This stock value does not go down. The 50 year old guy is still going for the 28 year old. And guess what, the 50 year old girl, if she's hot and in shape, she could still probably pull a 28 year old. Problem is women in their 50s, they're like, I just can't have a conversation with a 28 year old guy. I have to like go to at least a 35 because I just. His pecs are just not big enough and I feel dumber.

I'm just telling you right now, sitting.

Dinner with this guy right now. So I'm gonna have to notch it up to 35 at least. Here's why I say have a conscious conversation.

Here's why I say this, ladies, you're.

Not going to win that argument. That was A dumb parable.

It's not a dumb parable. And it's fact.

No, we'll come back at all. It's a fact to you.

It's 100.

No, it's not.

It's 100 fact.

It's not.

It is. You're the number of quality men.

Can you please pull up the number?

Quality men, show me the number.

Can you please pull this up? That 100. This factors. I love the certainty. What's 100% is your certainty in this conversation. And that's why you're so sexy. Because your certainty certainly, let me tell.

You right now, let me tell you right now, here are the facts.

Don't listen to a goddamn thing he's saying.

I love, but let me tell you why I'm saying this.

7.6%, people.

I'm like, you're not listening to the second half of what I'm saying. But, but listen to me, woman. Here's the but. The but is this a woman who's 40 also to her man that she's married to? Maybe he's 50, maybe he's 54. Maybe he's 40. Maybe in my case, I'm 47. You're 40. You're not in your 30s anymore. Congratulations, welcome to middle age. You're 40, I'm 47. Okay, in that pocket. The difference to a man who's married to the woman he loves. You thought I was gonna be an asshole on this whole thing or not. You just weren't fucking listening for the punchline.

You're just backpedaling.

I'm not backpedaling at all. This is part of the plan the whole time. And I'm gonna close the rest of these lo. You've already forgotten about. I'm a goddamn professional. As this woman gets older to her man, she becomes more beautiful to him as a man. So when these women don't put out and they end up divorced at 40 thinking the fruit's going to be better on the other side, I am telling you right now, 27 year old dudes are not bagging 60 year old women and going, you're fucking hot. I can't believe I'm with this one. That's amazing. That shit is not happening.

Why did the age gap grow?

But guys at can still hang out with girls that are 30 and have no problem with it because the measuring scale is totally different. So if you got a good man and you're being stupid and you're not fucking him, you're not touching him and you're not telling him and you love him and he loves you. I promise you this, man. If he's not doing his best, send his mask to wake up Warrior. We'll help clean it up. But the game for a guy, they will see the 20 year old. But I see you, and I'm like, get richer every year goes by. That's why you, half the week are doubting yourself. Oh, my God. I'm this. Oh, I'm bloated. Oh, this blah, blah, blah. Oh, my boobs are blah, blah, blah. And my legs and blah. My sweatpants and my blah. My eyelashes sideways and blah, blah, blah. My hair extension, Blah, blah, blah, blah. And the whole time I was like, y', all, fuck you right now. You're hot. You look great. Pregnant hot, skinny hot, lean hot, fit hot, curvy hot, thick hot, whatever. I'm like, down. I'm like, you just get hotter. Just ass at me the rest of my life. I am good to go. By the way, for those that don't know what ass hatting is, this is the time it was brought up by our therapist. It was super funny from podcast last week. We're not gonna repeat the story. Go listen to last week's show. You'll hear about the ass hat. Listen, let me close the loops. Let me close the loops. Ready? Okay, so we're gonna close the loops. That was like a little side tangent. Just food for thought, ladies. And by the way to my guys, here's my last caveat to the dudes. I know when you hear me say that, you're thinking, oh, yeah, these girls are gonna get me. So here's the downside for you. You ready? There's literally the ideal man that's being pursued in the marketplace right now through media, through marketing, et cetera. And what women think they're pursuing, they're literally pursuing a guy. They've done this kind of fucking research, and they've interviewed thousands and thousands and thousands of women of different age groups about this. All looking for dudes over six feet. All look for dudes that make over 150,000 a year. There was this laundry list of things women were saying they deserve, they need. And they would say this. Do you realize that what you're talking about is the 1% of what's available in the marketplace for men. So, guys, I'm telling you right now, too, like the piece, you have to recognize, you're not just fucking be Sylvester Sloan. You're attention not paying. You're not James Bond right out of the gate. Unless, of course, you choose to put yourself in that place. Which means if you look at your body and you're unfuckable, you can do something about that. If you look at your bank account and you're unfuckable, you can do something about that. If you look in your world and you're like, I have no certainty, and you're unfuckable because of it, you can do something because of that. If you look around at your world and you're not leading people, you're not doing anything productive to your world, guess what? That makes you unfuckable. And you can do something about it. So on the guy's side, the challenge that we have is your wife doesn't want to tell you touch and fuck you, because you're kind of unfuckable. And that's hard because that means that you're not getting touched, you're not getting told, you're not getting. Because you're not showing up. And if you start showing up for you, there's a better chance of getting the TTF if you don't show up for you. And that means tell yourself and touch yourself hell yourself. That's great. Just if you don't go all in on you, you got no chance for her to go all in on you. That's why I built Wake Up Work. It's what I've been doing for the last 11 years, guiding men just like you to be able to have real, open conversations like this with your wife. Most of you couldn't have this conversation in private, in a closet in the middle of Tibet, with your wife, let alone have it on a podcast, public, for everybody to see. We're not trying to be perfect here. We're trying to show you. This is how relationship works, how we're working it out. We're not the way it has to be, but this is the way it is for us. And I love this woman. She's amazing. She gets more beautiful to me every year. She's conflicting and challenging and provocative and encouraging and a fucking psychopath. And I love her. Her anxiety and her depression and her upset and her passion and her fire and her excitement. And I could not be the man I am today without her. No way. I'd have been a good man. There's no way I could have been this great of a man being who I am. So I appreciate the push that you give me when I say, what have you been? Wake up. Warrior could not exist. And while you like to tell me you could just build all this shit on your own, I know I couldn't build all this shit without you. And someday you'll come to your senses.

Why do you gotta say that?

Because you say that. You tell me that about the hair brand all the time. If we weren't together, you could go do it on your own. And I said, no, you couldn't. We have built this. We built our lives. We built our families. The fuck ups, the fired ups, the pits, the peaks, the ups, the downs. You've course corrected me. I've course corrected you. We have put ourselves on a path to win. I feel like we're in the best place we've ever been. I'm very grateful that you helped me kick an addiction this year. It was not helpful. My eyeballs were falling off my face and I kept thinking I needed more eye drops. Nope. You see it stop the fucking addiction. And too much kratom and kava and I feel free. So I did. You smashed me and I found it. Not drinking every night. Not feel freeing every day. Not smoking weed every day. Not fucking drinking 52 caffeines every day. Drink one pre workout every day. I smoke cigars.

Can I tell you that's it. Even though we still battle, I would rather have that then see a numb version of you.

Yeah, well, that's what you got. I'm back.

And because this is a very powerful version of you and not a sedated version of you. And there's a lot that you can do with this version of you. And so as much as, like, it was your very strong personality, as hard as it was for me to, as you call it, kick you in the.

Dick, I like it when you say that.

I had to. Like, I was like, I'm sorry. Like, I, I. It is my responsibility as your wife to call you out on your. What does our therapist say? You are the resident.

Resident expert on your husband's.

On your husband's. And I was like, the only way I could get your attention is not to be like, hey, babe. Like, like with your personality. As much as you're like, you're a psycho. I'm like, I am married to you and I have to get your attention one way or the other. And I will never stop trying to do that. And I will never fight for what I know is possible in a marriage. So amongst having crazy moments, I'm like, well, you can have a C minus marriage or you can have an A plus marriage, and I'm not going to settle for anything less than. And I might have really high standards and I will never apologize for that.

Don't just TTF me.

Well, then you know what you do.

You are the wake up of the Wake Up Warrior. Well, and I am.

Somebody's gotta wake up all these strong men.

I am the styling to your dkw. And guess what? The Real White House coming out shows upcoming here in the next couple weeks from the time we did this show. And we're excited to have that release happen, showing our whole family all the ins and outs, helping you understand that you are the real White House. You are the solution to this country, not a president. Whether you're Republican, Democrat, Christian, you're Muslim, you're Jew, or you're none of the above. And you're just kind of hanging out, trying to figure out how to do life. Either way, real White House is going to be a perfect show for you. It's going to be available on all kinds of different platforms. We'll be talking more about that as it gets closer. We got about another month or so until the release time. We're recording this. But until then, also remind you of Wake Up Warrior, right? We've been leading this movement to Wake Up Warrior for the past 11 years. It was the tools that I used to be able to get myself personally as a man out of the pit. Helped me find my power, help me find my purpose and help me find my ability to produce and ultimately the perspective what it is to have it all right? To be able to juggle the trifecta of insanity of running a business, being married and having kids and trying to do that not just in a survive way, but do it in a thrive way. So we can help you out. We got free tools and available also in paid tools as well as programs available for you@wakeupwarrior.com check out our Wake Up Warrior challenge and or some of the other programs or events we have coming up. Would love to have you head on over to wakeupwarrior.com for all those in the hair industry. Want to follow my wife and or natural Bead Rose. You can check out everything she's got going on by going to Danielle Ky on Instagram. Follow her on Instagram.

You gotta go to NBR Education.

Never mind. You go to NBR Education or you.

Can follow me on Instagram. Danielle Kwhite.

We're out. This is Gary J. White signing off.

Thought you're gonna say love and light. Good night.

Yeah, I wasn't gonna say that.

Stay tight.

Hug tight. Stay tight. And you know, final piece. Ladies. Your man's valuable. Don't ditch him too soon and watch your stock value plummet.

Oh, my God. That was the worst. And, ladies, his facts are wrong. There's just random numbers pulled out of his ass. Have a great week.