Sex, Triggers & Truth Bombs: What Really Goes On in a Man's Mind

Hello.

And we're back. We're back with Another Day youy Way podcast. We actually did two back to back shows here in our home in Miami. Are you liking the podcast here in Miami? We've had some fun.

Love it. Love the lineup. Love who's come through. We've had great couples. 2025 has been great, great lineup.

It's been a really. It's been a good variety, you guys.

Big time variety.

From ex cons to marriage counselors to our first lesbian couple, it's been a variety.

We've had people dating.

The common thing is like, everybody is going through the same shit, like inside of the relationship. Like, it doesn't. What couple you talk to. They're all having these, these crucial conversations. And like I talked about on our last podcast, I was like, right now, marriage is not like it was in its 50s. It's not this feminist movement. We, people that have been married are married right now. We're literally rewriting the rules of what it looks like to be in a healthy relationship. And it's like adopting some of those rules of, like, yeah, the, the male and male and female roles, but it's also like mixing in this new day and age of how a relationship looks like. So I have a really important question for you.

Me and Chat GPT are ready.

No, you can't ask Chat gbd this one.

Oh, you want a Chat gpd?

No, no, I was gonna. My really important question.

Okay, ready.

How many times per day do you think about sex?

How many times per day do I think about sex? I'm up about 18 hours. You've got 60 minutes in an hour. I probably think about sex 15 times an hour.

15 times in one hour?

Yeah. Unless I'm locked into a.

What if you're on like a zoom call with a dude? Your brain just.

No, we usually talk about sex.

Really? 15 times in one hour. Like you have. You have like a zoom call with a guy and it comes up 15 times in an hour. You're talking about software. And then you're like, man, I really had great sex last night.

No, like you're going to stand as a guy. You'd be sitting there and you'll just be in the middle of a meeting. You'll be just hanging out, whatever, and then all of a sudden you just.

Get like a visual.

Well, it depends what happened the night before, too. So if you had great sex like we did last night, then I think about twice as much shit.

It just like pops in your brain.

Yeah. Images from last night, positions so then.

As a guy, do you just, like, shut it down because you're like, I'm in a work meeting.

Well, no, you just learn to have them back here while you're in the work meeting.

Oh, so you kind of entertain the.

Thoughts you're not entertaining. They're more just entertaining themselves.

So if you think about it 15 times per hour, is it always with.

Your wife, Am I always thinking about having sex with you? Yeah, I'm triggered by sex by all women. Not all women, just beautiful women. So you're in Sandlow is you're asking do I think about sex with my wife all day?

Yeah, that would be weird.

You know, you asked me about the topic of sex. Do I get sexually triggered and think about sex all day? Yes. The difference is my brain has been trained. If I'm Miami, I see a girl walk by, she has nice tits, nice ass, great body, I will be sexually triggered. Impossible not to be. But the next thing I do in my mind is my decision, which is do I allow myself to float down the river and think about having sex with her, or does my mind snap into reality of thinking about sex with my wife? Now, if it's been a month, which hasn't happened in years and years and years and years and years and years, but if you're a guy and you've not had sex a lot with your wife over weeks and you get sexual trigger, the default mind is to think about having sex with the woman you just saw.

At least you're being honest.

Yeah. And then if you look at porn a lot, then you tend to get pornographic images about women when you get sexually triggered. So your mind will think about you always entertain it.

Like you say, if a hot girl goes by like, you're like, do you always entertain it? It just kind of goes up and.

Then you push away only 18 seconds. I limit myself to 18.

We're getting some facts here.

So 15, if you rather. 15 times an hour.

18 seconds. The math, the numbers are not adding up.

It's a lot. No, there's 15 times 18 seconds entertaining each 15 thoughts.

Okay, then.

I'm just kidding. I don't really do.

How often could you have sex?

I could have sex on gear, which I'm on three times.

You could not have sex three times a day.

We did twice last night.

Okay, but that was last night. That's not normal.

I could do the formula. If I did twice in one session last night and we did in the morning, that's three easy.

So you're saying you think you could go for three.

I know. I could go three times every day.

You are so full of shit.

I am, like, literally 1500 plus. It doesn't even register how much testosterone's in my system right now.

Really? Yeah, it's interesting. I've noticed. I'm just curious. I'm asking for a friend. I'm asking for. But I have noticed since you've been on gear, like, you are kind of like a walk. A walking penis. Yeah, pretty much.

Does that turn you off, Ron?

No. That's why I was asking the question. I'm like, it's great, but I'm like, man, is that distracting for you? Like, is that hard?

Like, yeah, it's distracting for guys at all time. The only guys is not distracted are the ones that shut down and shut their sexual energy off, and they're asexual.

How do you. How do you shut that off? Do you think that's unhealthy for a guy to do?

100% unhealthy to turn it off?

Have you ever done that?

Yeah, I turn it off too, like. And I stopped feeling. I stopped feeling the energy from anyone. Including you.

Yeah.

So you get kind of. But a lot of guys will do this out of a place to try to feel safe, so. Versus being rejected, they just shut it down. Like, they'll literally stop looking at porn. They'll stop jerking off. They'll just, like, literally just shut it down.

I will say, like, as a woman who, like, I notice, like, when guys will entertain, and then I notice when guys are very respectful.

You can tell?

Yes.

Can you tell when guys entertain?

I can just. They almost, like, you can tell they don't shut it down. You know, I mean, most guys, especially if I meet them in a work environment with you, they are very respectful and, like, will immediately shut it down. You know what I mean?

And where do you meet guys that they don't shut it down? The gym?

No, I never met anyone in the gym. Actually. If any guys do talk to me at the gym, it's the older guys. And they'll, like, very respectful, come up and just be like, good job. Like, they're almost just like, you know.

That'S the way they're covering up their sexual trigger. Oh, well, they're doing that respectfully because inside they've thought about having sex with you while you're doing it.

What's funny is a few of the older guys that have come up and, like, said, oh, kudos. Like, I. I've never even seen them. They have. I haven't Even noticed them.

Oh, they were on the glider watching.

You do your entire funny thing is they, like, say hi to me. Like, they see me every day. And I'm like, I think it's the.

First time I see your ass.

I know, but I'm like, this is the first time I've seen this guy. Yeah, but I, I, I don't. I don't mind it if you're a.

Hot girl in the gym. You've sexually triggered every guy in that gym. Every single guy hard for a girl is.

I'm like, like, even you were giving me about my fitness page, and I'm like, I'm sorry. Like, I, I enjoy working out. I enjoy feeling beautiful. I enjoy feeling powerful. And I, in a way, I'm like, I'm like, I want to wear my cute workout outfit. I'm not gonna wear sweats to the gym.

I got it.

That's weird. You know? So then I know. I know, like, I have a cute body, and I'm gonna wear my sports around my cute shorts. I know that men are looking at me, but at the same time, what.

Does that feel like, knowing that men are looking?

I actually don't. It's funny because when I go work out, I always have, like, my hat on, like, super low, and I don't, like, I actually don't like receiving that energy.

Yeah.

Because for me, I. When I open up, like, I'm like, no, I'm not trying to flirt. Like, I'm not. I don't want to give any men that impression. Do you know, I'm nice, but I kind of give off, like, the very, like, a fuck off vibe. Not intentionally, but it's just. It's almost like I don't want them to think, like, I'm like, bro, I'm not.

Well, this is a challenge, though, like, as a woman, because if you are friendly and you are attractive.

Yeah.

The natural default for a guy is thinking, she wants me.

And I'm. And I'm like, that's so funny, because I'm like, I'm sorry. Like, that's not how it goes for girls. We're not like, yeah, I just thought about having sex with you.

You for sure have had that.

I mean, if he had, like, if he was, like, super shredded.

I'm like, you've had to have been a situation. You saw a hot guy was super shredded and you got sexually triggered.

Mm.

Don't lie.

I don't entertain it, though.

But have you had the thought, no, you've never been sexually triggered by another Good looking guy. You're such a liar.

Not at the gym.

No. Okay, so what? Out shopping?

Like if it's like a hot guy running and he's got a sick.

Yeah, I know, I know. Which hot guy you were talking about? There was a young hot guy, he used to run around our neighborhood.

There was.

Yeah, I remember you made a comment about it one day. You were like, you were trying to be nonchalant about it. And I had seen the guy earlier that day and it was the kids, probably like 27, 28.

We're at our old neighborhood.

Shredded. Yeah, shredded. I mean, Dana Point. And he was running around, the shirt off all the time. I was like that good looking son of a.

See, but you know what I will say, like if I see you sometimes, like just walking around with your shirt off, like, huh, he looks hot.

So I sexually trigger you.

So yeah.

So either way, the 26 year old with the 12 pack, I think he's great. I think I'm just saying it would make no sense to me if you saw a guy like that and you weren't sexually triggered.

It wouldn't make any sense.

Well, makes sense because it would be natural to be triggered that way.

Men entertain a little bit longer though.

Of course men entertain it longer. They got less discipline. And you got to figure for the number. How many times, how many times a day do you get sexually triggered? How many times a day do you wake up or do you have a thought like, man, I could get some right now.

How many times do I wake up and do that?

Or in the daytime, do you ever have this off?

I don't really think about it during the day.

When do you think about it in the morning?

I will think about in the morning because I'm like relaxed. My brain's not thinking about 75.

So how many mornings during the week do you wake up with 8M?

It's more of like I would be open to it.

So is that saying, like being open to it? Is that, is it? Is that, is that. Are you having like a feeling?

Sometimes, but.

So sometimes it's a feeling. What's the other feeling then?

Yeah, so I feel like in the mornings I would always be open to it. But then like there's some mornings I'm like, okay, where's my husband? And usually you're not there.

So that's a moment. I think it's okay for a woman to take care of herself.

You do?

Yeah.

You do?

I do. I think it's okay. Some guys are weird about it. I'm like, why would that not be why guys jerk off? Have I ever jerked off? Let me tell you. Let me tell you this. This was told to me by a friend of mine long, long, long time ago. It is a. Is a wise old tale that will always continue. We were sitting there, My ex wife asked this guy, I was playing football. Christy and I are married. And he said, she asked him if all guys jerk off. And he looked down. It's big dude. 356, four offensive lineman. Just big dude. And he looks down, he's like eating his food, and then he stops and he goes, chrissy, there's only two kinds of men that lie. Two kinds of men in this world or two kinds of lying men in this world. Those that say they never have, and those that say they never will. Again, all dudes masturbate.

There you go.

There are some guys that are super disabled and they don't, but they're typically sexually satisfied. And then you get your real unicorns who don't masturbate at all and don't have sex either.

Maybe they just saw me sex drive. Then they should probably.

That's gonna be a tough one. That's a tough one. So we do know you get triggered in the mornings, and we do know at times you get triggered by hotties with bodies running around.

Yeah, I mean, I'm human. If there's a hot man that goes by, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna entertain it.

I love how you're trying to downplay, like, you don't have this experience.

No, I don't think I have it like men do, is what I'm saying.

Of course you don't.

But I have to say, like, it's hard to like, to be like a pretty woman. I do notice. I'm like, I think every. If I were to give any man, like, any attention, like, she wants me. I'm like, dude, I do not want.

With your super hot eyes and your vortex eyes that you have going on, if you just look.

I'm just saying it's pretty women to an unfair advantage.

But if you walk down, if you just today said, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna look every guy in the eyes with my root beer popsicle eyes, and I'm gonna do the tractor beam that I do, and I'm gonna smile like this, and you didn't say shit but just said hi.

They would immediately be like, oh, I think she wants to have sex with you.

You would have so much sexual energy poured at you guys would be like, oh, my God. If she want talk to her, she's amazing.

But see, that's.

That's how you got me.

That's why I don't open up very often though, is because I'm like, I don't. I would love to be, like, friendly without having the man's mind go there. But being a beautiful woman, I feel like it's like natural for men for their mind to go there. They, like I said, guys that, like, you're in your business and warrior, they're all very respectful and they're. I can tell they'll kind of like push it away. But I'm just saying as a guy.

Like, listen, a dude goes into a business meeting and he's with a girl who's frumpy and 100 pounds overweight. She's successful, she's good at what she does. Then he goes into the same meeting with a girl that's bodied out, bootied out, with cleavage. That is not the same meeting for this guy. Even if he has control of it, it's not the same. He's got a sexual energy going on behind it that will change the dynamic of that meeting.

What's interesting though, like, when you were looking to hire an assistant, I was like, hey, even though I know you're like a faithful man, I'm like, I don't want you to be in a meeting and you get sexually triggered by your assistant like once a day. Yeah, like, that's not. That's like, no, like, I'm not. So that's what I'm saying, though. Like, being a beautiful woman. Like, if you're. If I want to be a personal assistant, then it's like something that, That I know, like, at some point my boss is probably gonna think about me.

Like, for sure. If you were any dude's personal assistant, there's at least multiple times a week.

Yeah.

That boss is gonna have sexual thoughts about you.

Yeah.

And people think this is just fucking reality. Right.

It's just how guys brains work.

Well, it just is how guys are built. This is how we are. And people say it's not. Now there's acting on shit and there's having the trigger. All dudes have the trigger, not all guys act on it.

Yeah.

Like, and there's like both sides. But I've seen a lot of guys, like, a lot of guys, like high powerful dudes who have beautiful, powerful assistants or executive assistants that run with them, go on flights with them, travel with them for events, etc. I just I just. I'm not going to do that.

But that's what I'm saying. Like, why would you put yourself in that situation? If you are a man and you're, like, happily married, why would you put yourself in that situation where you have, like, a hot, personal.

I know at least three guys right now having affairs with their assistants.

See, you just proved my point.

I didn't say there wasn't proof in it. I said, I've seen the data. I know.

Yeah.

And the women. The wives don't know. The wives don't know. But the wives know.

But do the wives like the lifestyle? So they don't ask.

Of course. That's the dilemma. That's the catch 22. I think women for money and backing up financial insecurity will tolerate a lot they're with. Including the idea that this guy has other women.

Right. I agree with that. But they're like, oh, but he's married to me, so he comes home to me.

It's. It's a weird time we're in right now. Like, this is happening a lot.

And I'm. I'm sure men are like, no, that's my person. I just wanted to have sex with her.

There's a lot to think that way, too. Some say the sex is just sex. It doesn't matter.

Yeah.

How do you feel about that?

I mean, it could be, but I feel like if you're in a faithful relationship, that there's a lot more scarring behind that. Like, if you were just. If you came home and went on a work trip and you're like, yeah, you know, I met this girl at a bar. We just had sex.

So I'd be like, she doesn't mean anything to me. Yeah.

I'd be like, no, you're not gonna.

Be okay with that.

No, I'm like, no, that doesn't. That's not how that works. You know, I feel. I feel like for men, I'm for. For me, I'm like, why don't men have enough discipline? Or why do they have such a big ego that they think that that's okay to do? And they're like, oh, it's just sex. It's like, okay, well, then why don't you just.

There's women that think the same thing then.

A Roosevelt once said, the credit belongs to the man. Who is actually in the arena, Whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause.

The man in the arena. 7, 000 men, one city, one day, one mission May 17, 2025, at the Maverick center arena in Salt Lake City, Utah. You are the man in the arena. You wake up every day to the weight of the trifecta. Your wife, your kids, and your business. You fight battles most men don't understand. The war for your body, staying strong, energized and unbreakable while stress and time that works against you. The war for your being, finding the certainty in God, your purpose and the reason for you to keep pushing forward. The war for balance, navigating marriage and sex and intimacy and fatherhood while trying not to lose yourself in the process. The war for business, making money, keeping money, growing money and leading your empire while everything else tries to pull you under. This isn't a game. This is war.

So, ChatGPT, I have a question for you on this. Some people say that when in marriage, if you have an open marriage and you're open to having intimacy with other people, that this is just a physical thing, a fleshy thing, and it doesn't really affect the emotional stability of the relationship. What are your thoughts on this?

Open marriages can work for some couples if there's clear communication, mutual consent, and strong boundaries. But it depends on the individuals involved and their ability to separate physical and emotional connections. It's not for everyone. So it's crucial that both partners are comfortable and on the same page.

Hey, ChatGPT, based upon all of the work that you've done with me and across all my chats, do you feel that I am an emotionally stable enough man to have an open relationship?

It sounds like you've been exploring a lot of personal growth and relationship dynamics. Whether an open relationship is right for you depends on your and your partner's comfort levels, communication, and boundaries. If you're considering it, open and honest dialogue with your partner is key.

Yes.

So the answer is no. I'm not emotionally stable enough?

Not necessarily. Emotional stability isn't a simple yes or no. It's more about understanding your needs, your partner's needs, and having solid communication. It's all about what feels right for both of you.

Clear.

Wouldn't you feel like if you're in an open relationship, wouldn't you just feel like you were always competing?

You would be. That's part of the reason why people go to open relationships. I know.

See, I don't know if I would like that. So imagine it would put me in a place of, like, scarcity. Like, I don't like if I would feel like it wouldn't be just Sex. Because with sex with becomes like emotional attachment too. So like say you have something, you're like, oh, it was just sex that one time. They're like, I kind of like her. And then all of a sudden you have a relationship going on. I'm like, that wasn't just a one time thing anymore. Now I'm competing with this other girl, but she doesn't have any of the, the backlog that I have. So I'm competing with fresh meat here. I'm competing with no triggers. And now all of a sudden, of course she looks better.

Yeah.

I'm like. Because there's no history there.

Well, listen, I don't got.

So how would you have.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. Listen, there's guys I know right now, open relationships and their wives will leave the weekend and the guy fully knows she's going to fuck other people. And he's at home hanging out the kids. And then another weekend he'll leave and he'll do the same thing. And I'm like, I just can't do it. I can't do it.

I think. But like I said, I just can't do it. It would just be like, I'd feel like you were in like another relationship with somebody else.

Well, look at the real tension.

Why would. Then at that point, I'm like, if you're more into her, then why are we still together? Right?

Like, well, here's the challenge, right? So look at the one side of it, which is it causes an interesting dynamic that I think has to be create in marriage, but can be created without doing that. But the dynamic is, I have to know that you are powerful and beautiful and that truly desired by other men. Because this keeps this in check. If you're 150 pounds overweight, you're mean and catty and being a critical bitch all day long, there's not a long line of dudes waiting for that girl. Just not a long line. So give me 100 pounds of weight. Critical caddy Karen is my middle name. And I'm kind of a bitch. There's just not a lot of dudes looking for that. But if you have high value woman who's amazing and takes over kids and makes money and is beautiful and takes care of herself, there's a fucking million dudes out the door. If I died today, within 12 months there'd be another dude in your bed. I just hope he's a worried guy.

I wait that long.

I know you wouldn't wait that long. Probably Be like three months. No, six months. I'm telling you. I've watched women whose husband passed. One was already remarried. He's been. He was dead no longer nine months. Started with another guy. So I'm like, how do you.

What are you saying? You have to recreate.

There has to be a dynamic. If I'm. If I. If, like, you know, you know, there's not just one woman in the world who would be okay with riding a Garrett JY train. I know that. I could ask chatgpt. She'd give us a number. Million women on the planet. Million, million. And a million men on the planet. This creates a game, though. It's fun in marriage because it's like, I know you are highly valued woman. I know you're desirable, which has me fight in a new way with you to create something to keep pushing myself to go. You know, the same thing with me. I'm not slowing down. Which means it compels you to continue to push yourself and to grow. That is the theory with open relationship, which is with the tension that you have to show up because there's other competition in the field. It's what takes you back to the energy of dating, which is why people will say and do things in marriage they would never say in dating because they feel comfortable, and they're just comfortable.

Yeah.

So I can get away with saying this because you're not gonna ever leave me.

So when you're coaching guys, and I know you coach a lot of guys, so if they have a partner that just doesn't want to grow, like, she's not physically. She's physically cute, whatever, but she's just not growth mindset. She just, like, doesn't have any ambition. She's just kind of, like, kind of there.

These guys suffer. Those guys suffer even with great sex.

Really? Why? Is it because they feel like they can't.

Like, they don't feel like they have a partner. They feel like they have just a person.

Really?

Yeah.

So for women, like we like, it is important for us to grow together so that we can kind of stay on the same playing field.

Both. Both have to grow. But that's like the game. Like, it's. How do you create that tension in marriage, which we have, that has both people recognize the beauty and attractiveness of their partner and who they are. That creates a little bit of this interesting tension, which is like, I choose you, you choose me, but we both have more options than each other.

Do you like that? I want to, like, pursue more in business.

I like that. You're happy finding a purpose. Like, do I want you to build a business? I take this for what it is. I don't care. I know, but what I do care about is you pursuing something that makes you feel full. Because I know there's no ways your husband, I, nor the kids can fill all of your passion desires.

Back to my question. Do you like that I actually have ambitions?

And like, of course I do. I love those. If you just sat around the house and drank champagne all day, I'd fucking be like, miserable. Unless we're having sex.

But it's. But sometimes I feel like you, like you say something like, like, well, I don't care.

Well, it's not that I care that what you're doing if that. If you want to make it a business, that's great. I support that. If you wanted to do a nonprofit, I support that.

If you wanted to. I think that sometimes, I think sometimes I feel like you don't like it though, because then I'll be stressed out with work or whatever it is. And you want to come home to a wife that's not stressed out.

Oh, yeah, for sure.

But those are different topics. But the thing is, is I will tell you as a woman, it's more stressful to be at home with the kids all day.

I get it.

So for me, I'm like, I actually there's times when like I'm doing events or whatever and I come home and I'm, you know when you come home and you're like exhausted but exhilarated at the same time. So it's like for me, I like, sometimes I don't feel like you're full. Like you want me to be that stay at home, like wife and not like work. That's kind of like the energy I get from you.

No, I don't want you to do that. I want to have a calm woman when I come home.

That's what I'm saying is I am more calm balancing both roles.

That's great. Then you should do that. Because I'm after the calm, not after.

The method to get there, but either way. What all I was saying is that sometimes I felt like you were like almost resentful that I was working because you thought it brought more stress to our marriage. And what I'm explaining to you is at being just. If I were being just a stay at home mom, I think would cause more stress and be like, here at danger kids.

I get it. So keep doing that. Keep pursuing that. And you gotta go, do we gotta wrap this because I gotta go run a huge event, so. Great show. Great topic. Way to throw the fireballs out there. At least we found out we're not gonna do an open relationship.

That's good.

So for all of you out there that might have hoped that this was gonna go that way, chat gt. You shut it down. I'm emotionally unstable and unable to do such a thing. I don't think this will ever be something we will ever choose. I know it's not. We are. We have. This thing is fun. I'll wrap this up on this. If you can't have these kind of open conversations with your spouse, and this is a. It's terrifying. A lot of conversations Danielle and I have are about pushing the boundaries of what we feel. And it's hard because most couples can't do this with each other. They can't have real conversations about fantasies, about their reality, about what they're up to, about what they're thinking. And it's scary to do it because it puts you vulnerably on the altar of saying, hey, here's some of my thoughts. Here's what's going on for me. What's going on for you? What are you thinking yet? If you don't do that, you don't have an opportunity to choose to collaborate and create something bigger. Now you're just hiding again. So listen.

And I like, actually that we have these conversations because, like, ultimately, like, you're. You know me the best, and I know you the best. And it's like when you're withholding information from your partner, that's like. You can almost feel it. You're like, what's up? Yeah, like, what's going on? You can tell something's bugging. I'm like, what is it? Business. So then I'm like, feel like I had to kind of, like, interrogate you. I'm like, is it with this? Is it with this? Because I can tell something's going on in your head. And in the past, I used to make up these, like, crazy, elusive stories, and then I get myself into a pit, and now I'm like, you know, maybe it's not about me. And he's just stressed about work or something specific. And so I try to be better at opening up these conversations.

You're doing great at it.

So that I, like. I'm not, like, assuming the worst.

Yeah, I get it. Which is the problem. And causes divorce because then we create stories. We'll save this for another show. But every man has experienced his wife or girl getting into an argument and debate with herself in text that you never were part of and somehow ended in I hope you're happy with her and what you're doing right now. And you get your phone after it's been dead and you go, I'm married to a crazy person.

I'm telling you, you can spiral as a lady real fast.

I said every guy with every woman on the planet. All right, my friends, thanks so much for being here on the Date to Y podcast. Again. If you're getting value from the show, do me a favor on one of the platforms it's on. Give us a five star ranking or whatever the ranking is. Leave us a comment about the show. We're building more and more social proof around this. Millions of downloads have happened with the Date you wide podcast. We want to help as many couples as we possibly can. So give us a review, give us a like, give us a subscribe. And on top of this, share the show up with your friends. And that brings us to a close with our threesome with ChatGPT here on the Date your wife podcast.