Shattering Boxes | Date Your Wife | EP 125

Okay. Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Date youe Wife podcast. I'm Danielle. This is my co host, partner in life, and you're my person in life.

Talk to them about this person. Comment.

You know, I have a lot of topics I want to talk about on this podcast today. Can I share just two of them that I want to talk about you with? So I. I feel like people. Well, one is commitment. That's one thing I want to talk about. And the second thing I want to talk about is the karmic loop or the false high. Those are the two things I want to talk about.

That's good. Where'd you get that idea? Karmic.

You call the karmic loop? I. I call it the false high.

We called that the false lift.

False lift. Okay. And then I also refer to. To my artist that I'm training. I say, you're on the hamster wheel, like, meaning like the false high. At least you're, like, going high, and then you're self sabotaging and you're going high and yourself, you're burning and building and burning and building. But then there's like the hamster wheel where you're like, I'm too busy, I'm too busy. I'm too busy. I can't grow anymore. And you're like, you have this idea that you're busy. You're not. You need to measure your results based off of. Or you need to measure your movement based on your results. And you're just like on a hamster wheel is how I describe it.

Yeah. Well, before we do that, let's talk about our fabulous our hair looks.

Yeah. Oh, you got a haircut.

Hey. Hey. Oh, Just barely notice. You come in saying, oh, look at me. Do you notice my hair is longer? But you don't know anything. It's about your husband getting it trimmed up. Huh.

Okay, well, my. My hair. My hair grew, like 10 inches years.

It looks fantastic.

I cut my hair short, my hair shrunk by a quarter inch, and you got a trim. And both of us wanted to be noticed. What does that tell you about life, Garrett? We just both want to be noticed.

All relationships, people want to be noticed. And we tend to not notice the other person while worrying about being noticed ourselves.

Yeah, we're so focused on ourselves that we forget to notice others.

Should we give them a sexual update?

A sexual update?

Yeah. Anything you want to talk about? No. Sex updates.

Would you guys like a sex update?

Welcome to this week's Sex update on dating.

About the whites we'll just. We're an open book.

Well, what do you want to share? What are you feeling? You. What are you feeling? The need to share this week?

I already said what I wanted to talk about. And then you said, do you want to do a sex update?

Yeah, I forgot sex toys going on vacation.

That's your update?

Why? I forgot them.

Yeah, well, let's not go there. I'm pretty open. I'm not that open.

All right, I'm going to have an interesting topic with you. So are you ready? You ready? I'm going to bring some out on the topic. On the sex. Sex topic. You ready? This will be interesting. There was a season where you and I, we don't have to make this long conversation. Be short one. There was a season where you and I leverage porn together.

I thought you were gonna talk about something else totally different.

Well, I don't know where you're going. We could go to that one if you want to, too. But this first one, I thought you.

Were gonna talk about your buddy.

No, we were leveraging porn as a. As a couple.

I think we were just trying to spice it up.

Well, was that super weird for you when we did, like, I don't remember how we even got there. It was real awkward the first time.

I actually. I would say men are probably more apt to watch porn than women are.

Scouts proved a lot of women look at porn too.

But I don't know how, like, I don't know how it works for guys. Like, if you have an office job and like, all of a sudden you're like, huh? And your mouse wanders, and all of a sudden you're watching a little bit of porn. Then you're like, shit, I gotta turn this off. It's the 12. It's in the middle of the day. I don't know if that happens to me.

I'm confident there are guys that mashup at the office.

I don't know, but I would imagine that there are guys that probably look at porn more than, like, I'm in the salon doing hair. I'm not like, I wonder what porn's on right now. Now's a great tight. It's noon.

No. You might be sitting in a car during a lunch at porn o'. Clock. What time is it? It's porn o'. Clock.

I got my alarm set. I'll be in the bathroom. I'll see you in 10.

Like, where's Mom? Mom's. You know what time it is, kids? Four o'. Clock. Mom has her moment. Leave her Alone.

What I'm saying is, like, I feel like men's minds maybe wandered that direction. And I had. Not really. I mean, I'd probably seen porn here and there, but it wasn't until you were like, hey, can I have an honest conversation with you? And you were like. And we were raised super religious. Mormon Catholic. Not Catholic. Christian, I would say. And so I remember you. I felt like you needed to have a moment with me where you wanted to be honest. And you're like, I have to be honest. I watch porn sometimes. And I was like. I thought you were gonna say something worse. I was like, oh, that's it? Yeah, I. Like, I didn't know you didn't watch porn. I assume if something. If you didn't watch porn, I'd be like, why? Really? I thought all guys looked at boring. So I remember when you told me, I was like, oh, good for you. And then there was, like, a few times, like, you were like, do you want to watch it with me? And I was like, I don't know. Might be weird, but after a few cocktails, I was like, could be fun.

Turns out it was the first time we did. It was in Mexico, like, years ago, I think, like, 2,000. I got some moves we're going to talk about. But I remember. I'll tell you what you don't do. You don't order. You don't order. Order porn on the. On the. On the hotel. On the hotel bill in Mexico at the resort where you end up with 1974 Mexican porn.

Excuse me, sir. No, that's not mine. No, no, it's directly. It's room 275, right?

No, I wasn't worried about that. I was just dying laughing. I was like, enrique and Francesca, like, in the back by the donkeys.

But in my mind, oh, my God, Francesca. And you were Enrique.

So anyways, like, this was. Because guys will come to me when gals will come to me, too. Like, couples and be like, how do we reignite this? And I was like, listen, I'm gonna have you consider that God will use whatever method he needs to be able to get you to reconnect. I guarantee you. It is. Guarantee you.

Because you know what?

Porn gave us access to something as a couple.

I think it gave us, like, a little bit of freedom and, like, kind of risky and kind of like, hey, I know you guys are like, you know, grew up, super Christian, Mormon, whatever, like, have fun. Like. And then it got to this point where I was like, this is gross.

This is disgusting. But. But But I want you to look at the season of it. I mean, it was only a couple years. Maybe we used it once in a while and. And then it just kind of became like, eh. Was it like we found our own rhythm, our own vibe. But the interesting thing, as a woman, like, particularly for like, Christian women, we have this conversation do. Where you just don't have a lot of content. If you've not slept with like 50 guys, you've not had tons of sexual experiences. You got married when you were young. I could see that you have no. I. You have no moves, right? Cause I remember I was sitting there one day and I was upset thinking, man, how can we spice up our sex life? And I'm thinking, geez, dude, I'm a guy. I've spent most of my life like, getting all kinds of visual data about some possibilities, but it's like having a playbook in your head, but your wife's got no playbook. And you're like, well, let's run. Let's run an i73 out route. And she's like, I don't even know what the fucking out route is. What are you talking about? What's a 73?

I think I probably would have. I feel like I would learn more from that than probably like sleeping around. Like, for sure. When are you going to try that move?

It's basically a tutorial. I mean, there's a lot of how not tos. I mean, it's pretty aggressive, but you're.

Like, that's an interesting angle.

You're like, did you really just turn your eyes? Like, that's an interesting angle.

I don't know if I want to see that. I'm still watching.

Yeah, well, so like, for us it was like, it was a spark, right? And it gave us a spark. And then it got to a point that it wasn't a spark. And like, I see this utility all the time. Like, we've gone through all kinds of different sex toys and tried all kinds of different things too. And some things work. Some things were just. They were.

You find out what you like and what you don't.

Just not just didn't work for us, right? And then there's a couple basic things that work for us, and that's it. And we run with the those and. And off and off. Like. But this is a difficult piece because, remember, for a lot of you gals out there listening this too, like, think about this. And guys, if you have no access to content, what do you know? You know, movie style? And I'm not saying porn is the best description of what it looks like. You can get central porn. You can get, like, what the. There's donkeys involved porn. Like, there's all kinds of weird involved. But, like, generally speaking, there are tools that are useful to help you get from one place to another. And oftentimes you debate with your spouse about the. About the method. You don't debate the outcome.

I know. I think I'm a pretty open minded woman.

Like, very open minded.

I'm kind of like, I won't present the idea, but if you're like, you want to do this? I'm like, do you want to do this? I'm like, okay, yeah.

I mean, that's led to some fun moments with whipped cream and strawberries and hot tubs.

Nope.

Yeah, it did.

I know. I was just like, let's not. Garrett.

We don't have to go all the way there. We don't have to go all the way there. I'm just saying, like, it led to a lot of things. And now there's a place where I had somebody come and say, well, how do I empower my sex life? You know, it sounds like you and Danielle are on fire. And I said, well, start with watching porn together. And they're like, oh, no, no, I never do that. I'm like, oh, maybe it's because they.

Associate it as, like, guilty, and they're like, in their closet or their bathroom doing to themselves, and they really just want to have really good sex with their wife. So they associate it with, like, oh, my God, I can't, like, have fun with that. I will say, like. Like, I had to have a couple cocktails to be like, okay, we're doing this.

You're not doing this at 12 noon in the middle of the day. Hey, let's watch some porn. So, I mean, anyways, everyone's kind of got their method to get there, but it was one of the tools that we used to get there.

That's what you wanted to talk about?

No, no, it's just something you got to bring up. It's not like a full topic. It's like a partial topic on the side that I know would be valuable.

What's our next topic?

A couple guys.

Let's talk about.

We already said you want to talk about. You want to talk about the cul de sac?

Yeah, there was that and commitment.

Commitment. Okay, well, talk to me about commitment.

You're my person. Okay, so, like, I.

Well, it took 21 years for you to tell me I was your person.

No, no. Let me tell you how it went down for me. So when we had our rough years, there was probably at least five to six, possibly even seven years where I'm like, dude, when. When is this asshole going to stop running? Like, I speak to the mic, I. I felt like we would get in a fight and you would bring up, like, divorce or you would bring up. And so I never felt safe. And I was like, dude, I know, like, things aren't great, but I would like to work them out. But now I just. I want to, like, close you off. So you wanted me to be more open and I kept closing down because you kept having divorce on the table. And I remember you finally came to me and you were like, hey, like, I just want you to know I'm committed. And I was like, like, you're just now committing. We have two kids. If I don't show that I'm in it at this point, I don't know what else to do. Like, I. And we had this pattern of like, I felt like I wanted, like a commitment out of you even though we were married. Like, I felt like I wasn't committed. I just felt. But I think you weren't committed because you. I don't really know. Like, I felt like you kept pushing me away. And I'm like, stop pushing me away. And then finally it was like you accepted a piece in yourself. And then all of a sudden you're like, I'm committed to you. And I have a girlfriend. Not gonna say names or anything. And she keeps getting back with the same guy. And the first time she'd break up, she'd be like, he's such an. All of a sudden I'm like, yeah, him. He's dead. He's dead to you. He's dead to me. Yep, screw him. And then they get back together and I was like, I mean, I just said that. Cuz you didn't like him. I like him.

He's great.

He's great. I said you because you said you. So then they're back together and then they break up again. I was like, that. She's like that. And then we're back here again. I'm like, I'm not gonna say anything anymore. I'm just gonna. I'm not gonna say anything. And so finally they get back together. It's like the fourth time they've gotten back together. And I was like, I'm like, listen, you keep. I need you to possibly consider that you're pushing him away. He's committed. He wants to be with you. And you are the one that wants him to change. And therefore, you keep pushing him away. And then you bring him back in, and you want him to be more vulnerable, and you want him to work on communication, but he's kind of losing trust because you keep pushing him away. So the very thing that you want is openness, conversation, communication, just chipping away at him because you won't just commit. And now when you're in a place of, like, hey, through thick and thin, like, we're committed and we can work on our communication together, but what you're currently doing is not working. And I know, because I've been there. Like, I know that doesn't work. So it's like, the very thing that you don't want in marriage or relationships or whatever, we end up doing the exact opposite to what will actually set us up for success.

That was me. I mean, that was me and you, but that was me. Like, I can own that piece of me. Like, I.

But I just saw this in my friend. You know what I mean? I finally got to this place. I'm like, I. It's not that I don't like him. I love you. I like him. I don't know him that well. I'm like. But I need you to consider, like, you want a commitment, and you're the one pushing him away.

I think a lot. A lot of our relationship, I didn't feel, like, worthy to have you. So it was this weird piece of me that would kind of push away. Like, push away, like, having you pushing away, like, the. Like, I didn't know how to be joyful. I didn't know how to be, like, truly fulfilled and happy. So, like, to be able to experience that was a very uncomfortable for me. It was actually easier for me to be in conflict. Like, it was more comfortable for me to be in conflict or more comfortable for me to feel like, oh, she doesn't care about me. I'm not her person. She doesn't want sex with me. She doesn't want to be my partner. Which is funny because, like, the evidence would support that that was not the case, including being married and having children. Yet my narrative continued to be this game. And no longer, no matter what Danielle did and no matter what you did, like, you couldn't escape my story. Like, we were sitting in therapy when you were, like, telling me the first time you wanted to be fucked, and we're seeing sex therapy, and I was. My mind was bent.

I think that I was frustrated because you were like, I want my Wife to want me. And I'm like, I want you to fucking take me. Like, so I'm not sure how to show up any different. And I think it's like, we both needed to hear that to be like, oh, we both want the same thing. And when you realize you want the same thing, you're like, well, shit. Well, what we're doing right now is not really giving us the result that we both clearly want. So how do we reverse engineer that and figure out how to get here?

Well, that was. With that. Do you mean go back to that therapy session? That therapy session was like a world shattering reality for me because you. You shattered a story. It was like you said that you wanted the same thing that I had been saying that I wanted, and yet my story had never allowed you the space to be able to say it. And there we were, sitting in therapy, and you say the thing my mind has always wanted you to say. But I was thinking that that was not the case, and I've been saying it for years.

Hard for me to talk to you sometimes because. And again, we discovered this in therapy. And the. I'm sure you remember this session. And the lady was like, Garrett, you're Danielle's like a little delicate flower, and you're, like, hosing her down.

No, no, no, she didn't call me a hose.

What did she. A tsunami.

She said, you're a giant tsunami drowning this little plant.

And at first I was, like, triggered. I was like, I'm not a little plant.

And I was like, I'm not a tsunami.

But then I was, like, thinking. I was like, there's a lot of times where I wanted to say things to you, where I wanted to have communication, but I had to be so careful because if I. If you trigger me, I shut down and I just be quiet. And I'm like, whatever, bye, bye. But if I trigger you, you're like. And, like, you'll follow me. Like, you could follow me to room. To room to where I'm like, I. I don't. Like. The lights went out, Garrett, and I don't want to talk to you because I don't want to say something that I'm going to regret later. But then I would just shut down. Do you know what I mean? And I was scared to have these open dialogues and these open conversations because I was like, God, I don't want to get. I don't want crazy Garrett's lid to flip and tsunami me. You know what I mean?

That's why I took a stiletto to the forehead, you know, that's what I'm saying.

Like, if you follow me long enough, like, eventually, I'm human. I'm good. I'm pretty grounded. Eventually, you will take a fucking heel to the face.

Oh, that night was intense. That was an intense night. That's another conversation. So let's come back to therapy. So we're sitting on the couch and we're talking about this, and I'm being a big tsunami, and she's being a small, little, delicate dandelion. And here we are sitting in therapy, and our therapist is, like, totally siding with my wife the whole time. And we're asking questions, but I'm asking questions to therapists, actually yelling to the therapist. Then I'm doing pushups and burpees in the middle of our session because I'm doing release of rage. Cause I'm losing my shit. She's looking at Danielle and going, exactly what I said. Get the. The out of here. You should leave this guy right now. I'm like, did you say that they're paying you money to keep us together? What's wrong with you? And I. I say something around the topic of sex, and then you lost it. You're like, we're at two different ends of the couch. This is 2016, early 17. We're two different ends of the couch. And Danielle, like, yells from one end of the couch. Not yells, but she talks to therapists. She doesn't talk to me. She talked therapist. And it was, I want to be fucked. Because I was saying, I. Like, I was losing my mind. I was not using make love sexy more. I was saying. I was like, I understand why she doesn't want to fuck me. And you're like, I do want to be fucked. I want to be taken. And then, like, the more you said it, I was, like, sitting there. It was like I was twisted into some plant medicine journey off into some alternate universe where there was, like, 19 versions of me at the same time. And I was looking down on this situation going, excuse me. And I remember turning and look at you and going like. I didn't even know what to say. It was like my whole world was shattered. But the crazy part is, you went on to say how I had told the story for so long, so many years, that you were not a sexual woman that you started to believe it. I remember you saying that.

I think I was just like, we just were in, like, a funk. Like, I was just like, I. It was just. It was so many patterns that just built up and built up and Built up. And I think that's what's interesting in relationships is people might have a, you know, two, three years of numbness, and then they think they're gonna fix that in, like, six months. And for us, I feel like it was like we. It put. We probably had two, three years of numbness. Then we had, like, two, three years where we were just kind of in the middle, and then we started to dig ourselves out of the ditch. So it's like if you. You have to retrain, like, not only that, now you. We have these. These patterns in these history where I can see why people break up a great divorce.

They're like, holy fuck, way easier.

It's going to be easier to rebuild if I work on myself and I don't let this repeat. It's going to be easier to build my dream marriage or whatever with this new person because, like, I've been fucking it up over here for, like, five years, and, like, I don't know if I can commit another five to 10.

So that's the message for today. Just divorce your. It's easier. It's too much work. We're just here to tell you, this is. Foggies is not about empowering.

You want to know, like, how we got to where we got. And I'm like, it wasn't easy. And it's still, like, we're still. There's still Rocky times, but I think there's. Like I said, there's more of a commitment to one another, to where we're like, I think people are.

Rocky times now are more like an aggressive deep tissue massage. You asked for it, but you're in the middle of it thinking this might be a little aggressive.

I know. I literally. Yeah.

You're like, if she keeps hitting that shoulder.

There's been times, like, even recently, where I'm like, we're gonna have to put a pin in this conversation. I'm not ready to discuss it right now. Like, it's always around kids bringing up. No, it's not. It's bringing up my business. We talked about the last podcast. Like, there's still things.

Because you were a weirdo and you were a give and taker. You invited me in only to, like, kick me in the butt again.

Putting a pin in that conversation. For now, sir.

For now.

They're there.

For now, sir, we're gonna put a pin in it. Speaking of which, speaking of pins, I got some new toys.

Okay. And moving on, Garrett.

I didn't get new toys. I just got new batteries for the same toys.

Thanks.

I mean, you know what I was thinking about? It's kind of. It's like, completely unfair for girls and guys. Guys have to be able to perform at a whole nother level sexually than women.

You like it?

Yeah, I do. But at the same time, it's like the expectation from a woman is like, you should be able to go forever. And you're like, you can go forever. I mean, your vagina doesn't.

Yeah, that changes.

You can just kind of go forever.

Like, you have.

Penis doesn't just go forever. A vagina stays, like, basically open forever. Yeah, you might have an orgasm.

Like, if you go. If you're going for too long, you're kind of like.

Yeah, but even then, you're. You're, like, over stimulated. You're like, but the vaginal hole still works. It's like, at a certain point, a penis stops being erect.

That doesn't mean that you can't do other stuff.

Yeah, but I'm just saying, like, a man's penis staying erect is, like, work.

That's what I'm saying. But women, we have to time it to keep it going that direction.

I mean, to be orgasmic for you, for sure. Yeah.

You had to. It's not like.

So it's. I guess it's an up and down, right? You guys got a. Constantly.

Like, we're not 24.

Seven circle K open, ready for business.

But we.

It's not always peak state.

Hey, you know what? The women have to work harder for it. So what are you complaining about?

Not all the time. You said, work harder for me. Drinking too much tequila.

I know. I'm good. I'm good.

Like the opening.

No, no, no, I'm good. But it's also like, every woman will tell you this. Like, I could have, like, two drinks. I'm like, nice. I'm in the pocket. If I hit three and four, I'm like, it's not gonna happen.

It's not gonna happen. Okay, well, let's talk about this karma, karma cul de sac conversation then. And people in their relationship staying in the cul de sac, going up and down, building burn, build and burn, build and burn, repeating the same shit. You were giving some counsel to your girls.

No, I just was like. I was just thinking how a lot of times in life, people, the reason they don't, they kind of stay with where they're at. And we talked about this on our last show. You're like, what are you gonna do when I free up all this extra time? And I was like, garrett, I think you're scared to free up all that extra time.

For sure I am.

You're like, what am I? Who could I become if I have this extra time? Now I'm out of excuses of like, I'm too busy. I don't have time to build. I'm already at capacity. This is as far as I can go. Even though we're doing big shit, even producers still at some level have kind of that story. I have that story. Do you know what I mean? Like, everybody does. People think you have success and that you've arrived and that you don't experience that. Like, and I was explaining how, like, I'm in a really cool place in life where like, yes, I want to spend time with my kids. I freed up time in my business to do so. I felt like I had two sets of kids. In my first set of kids, I was present, but I also was like working my ass off to build my brand. So I kind of feel like I missed a little bit of a pocket. Now I'm like, I have the opportunity to spend more time with them.

But.

But I also, I also too, I'm like, like, boredom is. Boredom makes me almost want to like, not grow, but self sabotage. Right? Like, I'm like, what can I burn and rebuild?

Is that why you want to be a realtor?

I don't know.

Was that the tequila talking?

It might have been.

No, but I mean, you were committed to that. You were like, I am going to be a realtor.

I feel like there's there, there's like seasons of hustle inside of my business. And right now I'm. I'm trying not to take too much of my foot off the gas and then. But also balance, like spending time with my kids and really enjoying that why I worked my ass off to get to where I'm at. Do you know what I mean? But even now, like, there's times where I'm like, ah, but I'm so. I'm so on fire when I'm growing. Whether it's with my body, whether it's with my business, whether it's like just like, think pretty much. Like, I would say, like challenging myself. You know what I mean? So when I'm out of like challenging myself, I'm like, now what? Like, I get to this place, I'm like, okay. And I immediately, like, I find that not. I'm not depressed, but I would just say like, I'm missing the high. Right?

Yeah.

So I, I find that people maybe self sabotage because they're looking to create that fixation of that. That high so they can rebuild again, but that doesn't actually make you grow. It's a false illusion of growth. So my goal right now is just like, I want to continue to, like, slowly grow without feeling that way.

So do we fail with the duck?

The duck, we gave it away today.

I know. That's what I'm saying. Do we fail with the duck, or do we just raise and give the duck away to a farmer that has nothing to do. Was it a farm we sent the duck to?

It's a lady that, like, she raises ducks. She raises ducks. She sent me photos.

She deals with people who abandon their ducks. Like us.

Yeah.

I mean, for those who don't know, we had ducks. We had two ducks, two rounds of ducks. My daughter has a homeschool experience. We have a teacher who is an elementary school teacher teacher. And they incubated ducks twice. The first time we had, like, how many ducks? Six ducks, five ducks.

I don't remember.

I think we had five ducks. Four of the brown ones, one of the yellow ones, and then the rest of the eggs died. And then this time, the power went out over the night.

What does this have to do with the karmic loop?

It has to do with everything. Relax. Everything I talk about makes sense about everything. All right? So relax. I got this. So then the second round comes. The power goes out, and 11 ducks die. And one duck lives. We called it lucky. We were committed to this duck for about three, four weeks.

That's a cute duck.

Maybe six weeks. How old is this duck?

It's like six weeks.

Six weeks old. And we said we were keeping this duck for life. We started looking up on YouTube how to care for a duck around your house. They have ducks that have diapers that go around the house.

That's a cute duck. It's like, it's a white duck and it's. What do they call the puffy chest ones? The buff duck. That's what it is. It's a buff duck and it's white.

Okay.

It's like, like the duck lady was like, really? Like, she was excited. Like, this is a rare duck.

We were like, wow, so we have a rare duck. And we were so committed to keeping this duck. And then we said, fuck it, and we're giving the duck to the farmer's.

Long term duck people.

Did you see us even short term.

Duck people, a little weird.

Like, we have a duck in the backyard running around all the time. I think we were all about the duck till we got the puppy the puppy's cute. The puppy attacked the duck. Puppies, tell them about the puppy.

So we got a Labradoodle. I had a. A little weenie dog that was 19 years old that actually drowned in one of our fountains. She was deaf and blind, and it was kind of. It was really traumatic. Sad story. My daughter. I think. I can't remember if we shared this on a podcast or not, but my daughter Ruby, when she didn't know. But I'm like, if you let Chloe out, you have to, like, be with her. Like, she's. She's blind and deaf. She's fallen in. We have this little fountain in our backyard. She's fallen in there several times. But someone. The nanny or somebody saved her. And. And she was barking like crazy because we would keep it. Got to the point where we couldn't even let her in the house because she was peeing all over everything. So I had, like, a little fenced off area in the garage. Mind you, we have a pretty massive garage. So the dog was in there. We let her. Ruby let her out. She. If all of a sudden the dog started stopping barking and we. Garrett and I were on a date night, but we happened to come home, like, literally, the dog had fallen in the water, drowned. The nanny tried to resuscitate it, but Ruby felt so sad because she's the one that let it out. And then she's the one. They were like, where's Chloe? Where's Chloe? And it was dark, and she's the one, like, found it floating in the little fountain. But it was. I told her, I'm like, I'm surprised that dog lived as long as she did.

And dog was the close of a chapter.

Yeah, it really was. And I was like, I'm not getting another dog. I'm not getting another dog. I've. I have four children, a duck. I've got my businesses. I've got every. I'm not getting a dog. And Ruby, we. She did a bunch of reports and this. And anyway, long story short, we found a labradoodle from South Carolina and we had it brought to us. And it's so cute and it's smart. And I. I'm like, oh, you fit in. Like, I feel like the next chapter. I'm like, oh, you're cute. We'll keep you.

Yep. And this puppy. This puppy, you were. You were completely passionate against this puppy. And then you.

You flip flopped and went, well, because I didn't. I don't physically have time to train a dog. And then I was like, okay, we have the means now to hire a dog trainer. And I just made an agreement with Ruby. I'm like, this is your dog. This is your dog. Which means. And I said this several times. I'm like. Which means you get up in the morning, you need to take it to go potty. You get up and walk it. This can't be like, one of the stupid guinea pigs. We got that, like, two weeks in. You. You're over it. I'm like, this is a dog. This is a commitment for, like, 15 years to the family. I'm like, so if you.

Not even the family. She takes a dog when she moves out.

Yeah, but I just was like, so I need you to understand what you're getting into. And she's doing good. She's doing really good. In fact, she left yesterday to her little. No, she left yesterday to her church activity. And when you put Dory on the bed with me, Dory just climbed off the bed and sat and cried at the door for Ruby.

At the. At the bedroom door.

Yeah. She's already got, like, a little bond with her because Ruby's like, did she really?

She went and cried out at Ruby's door.

I put her. Kept putting her back on the bed. I'm like, no, on our door because I had our door shut.

She was crying, waiting for Ruby.

Yes.

She loves Ruby.

Yeah.

They both are building. I told. I told Ruby, like, the dog's gonna need, like, a service. Ruby is a dog service person because the dog has as much anxiety as Ruby does. Ruby's going to Bible school. Bible Bible camp. Today she left.

She's pumped.

She was super stoked. She was super stoked to get her new cross. How do you feel about her children going to Bible camp?

It's a social activity.

Yeah. I mean, we went on a yacht last week with a bunch of guys that want to be powerfully vocal. Christian men.

Oh, yeah.

And some women. That was a good experience. It was interesting, though, being there because, like, there was a whole bunch of people that wanted to have. They're big influencers and big people on social media and big in business, and they're all terrified to talk about Jesus publicly.

It's like talking about politics, like.

Yeah, but that's interesting. They're massive platforms. These guys are massive people who do big shit. I want to say their names and.

But everybody. You know what, though? Like, that's why when we had that little experience is, like, a lot of these people want to talk about it, but they don't necessarily need to Share it like you do, Garrett, like you could. That's like, your message is polarizing. Your message is, I can share whatever I want. Like, your message. Your brand is like, you share it all, and you give permission to people to share it all, and people love you for that. Do I think that people that have huge platforms or even me with hair, do I need to go? Is it going to benefit me to go talk about politics or religion on my page? No. Does that mean. Does that mean I wouldn't want to be part of a community where I feel like I have a voice or a space? Because how I look at it. And this was really cool. And I think that. What is his name? Pete Vargas. Like, I. He. His dream was to get, like, big players because. To have a space to talk about, like, Christ and Jesus and whatever. And I was like, that doesn't necessarily mean that he wants every single. We all need to take it to our social media platforms to talk about it. But if you can impact power for players and they feel like they have a safe place to share, then who knows what they could do with business. You. You can share whatever you want. Like, that's, like, your brand.

Imagine if everybody could.

But I don't believe that. So I'm just saying, like, I don't necessarily. I mean, I don't think that's why.

They invited me in the group.

I don't think that I. You're like, I'm gonna give everybody permission to talk about Jesus. I'm like, I gotta be honest. You do you. I'm gonna do me. And I don't necessarily feel called to do that, but I like being around people where it's like, you can say stuff that you maybe wouldn't say on your social media. And I know you're going to probably passionately disagree with Jesus. I do. But probably not in this way that everybody else.

Do you believe in God?

Yeah.

What is God for you?

God is who created this world to me. It's who I believe. There's multiple gods. I believe that eventually we all become gods of our own universes and planets and all that.

I like that. She's spicy. She's controversial.

Yeah, I'm not controversial.

Yeah, you are. In the typical Christian world, you. About three out of the four things you just said are complete. Blush me.

Really? It's funny. I. I think I would support them all.

I think it'd be great.

I don't think of it as, like, being, like, edgier out there. I'm like, yeah, guys, we're all gonna be gods.

Woo.

Like, I think I'm like, that's cool.

No, most people don't do that. Most people believe we're gonna sit and blow trumpets with Jesus forever.

I, I don't believe that.

I don't either. So that's why people are like, well, where are you at as a, as a, as a Christian? I say, well, it depends how you're defining a Christian. You know, it's like people trying to find a businessman. What's a small business owner, right? Smallest business owner, you could be like 45,000 a year. You could be 100 million a year. You know, technically up to 100 million, you're still a small business. So I was like, what kind of small business we talking about? Right? But like one thing that was interesting for me like in our relationship is I was constantly yelling at my wife for not being spiritual. Only recognizing most of our life, my wife is the most spiritual person in our relationship. I was a self righteous prick for a long time.

I never, I, even though I grew up very, my parents still to say are very Mormon. I never, I felt like I never really fully bought into it. Like I was like, I hear you. I don't know if it makes sense to me, like, honest, if I'm being totally honest. And so I felt like when you were like, hey, I don't know if I believe in this whole church thing. I was like, oh, cool. Yeah, me too.

Yeah.

All right. It wasn't like you had to fight me on it. I just was like, yeah, but I wasn't as. And I've shared this before, I felt like I wasn't as, as indoctrinated. Indoctrinated as you were. Like, I didn't like, I, it's not like I sat and like read scriptures every day. I didn't serve a two year mission where I was preaching to people like, hey, come join this religion. I grew up, I grew up in the culture. I would say the culture was really hard to leave. Like, I think that's what Pete is the hardest piece. Like growing up. And they called the Utah Bubble. Like you're, that was the biggest piece was just like saying goodbye to my friends, saying not goodbye to my friends, but just saying like, this isn't for me.

Like we said goodbye to our friends.

Like just physically, emotionally, spiritually, like getting out of that culture. Like, I was like, I'm free. I was like, I can breathe. And it was like when I felt like I could really explore who I have always been.

And people get, people hear this and like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Particularly my non denominational Christians. I laugh, I laugh at you. I like you. Because non denominational Christianity has become its own denomination. I love it too, when the pastors of non denominational churches want to like run their mouths about Catholics, Protestants, Presbyterians, Mormons. I laugh because they think that somehow they're not in their own box now. Yet non denominational Christianity has become its own box. It's like they follow the same worship routines. They're all planted by the ark system. Everybody's following the same protocols. You've become your own denomination. Just so you know, in case you were confused, which by the way, you've only known that path so you think that you're not in the box only cause you haven't followed anybody else's box. So the problem is, are you in a box? I'm in a complete box every single day. You're the one that taught me that. 20 years ago, 15 years ago, whenever it was 2009, we loved Mormon faith and I was like, God, these people are in a box. And you're like, oh, when you make it, you think you're not in a.

Box, but are you currently in a box?

I'm currently in a box. I'll always be in a box.

What is your current box?

I don't know the parameters of my current box. I'll tell you about them though. I'm pushing the thresholds of my parameters all the time. Plant medicine was one of the things I started doing that pushed my parameters. That was not traditional microdosing.

I think every single day was in and out of boxes. You're like that box really obsessed with this box right now.

I'm in a box.

I'm not in that box. This box is my box. This is my box. I'm going to go to this box. I shatter the box, I'm going to this box and I'm like, yep, it's.

Because I'm shattering the box I'm in. Listen, I have a deep love for Jesus Christ. I do a deep relationship, walking relationship with Jesus Christ. I don't buy into, I don't buy into 95% of the cultural and non denominational in traditional religion. Non denominational has become nothing more than a new religion to me. And people don't get this because they weren't raised in really deep religions. All my friends that are non denominational Christians pretend like they're not in some kind of rote routines. They are. The way you worship, the way you pray, the way you do your things. Even the way that you guys have conversations and dialogues, it's all patterns and routines, Patterns and routines. We do this song, then we do this offering and then we do this. And I don't think it's a bad thing. I go to Ocean Church. Pastor Mark's amazing. We love Pastor Mark. I love the quote non denominational church we go to. It's fantastic. And, and yeah, my game is constantly about pursuing what God is speaking to me, not what a pastor, a prophet or a preacher, a teacher is telling me. God's words to me today are more important to me than the words of the Bible.

How do you receive those?

Direct revelation, specific conversation with God.

I feel like I've always been doing that.

I know you have been.

It's a good time.

It doesn't mean I don't like the Bible. I really do like the Bible. I know the Bible can inspire.

I don't like reading the Bible because it's like, I'm like, I have such ADD when I'm reading and I'll like find myself reading like pages and I'm like, ah, I forgot to pay attention. And then I'm like always trying to like, I'm like trying to be like, speak to me. And then I'm like, nothing's I can find better use of my time. Like, I've never gotten into reading the scriptures. I just, I never. I don't know. Maybe I will one day, maybe I won't. Probably, probably not.

But I enjoy it. It's fun. I enjoy it. Like, I don't get. And again, there's power in it. I think there's deep power in it. I think it's a conversation that allows for like a person to discover and to open up. But if you don't have a relationship with Jesus Christ beyond the Bible and you're a Christian, you've got a problem if the only thing you can do is quote me scriptures, but you can't bear me any fruit. You can't show me the fruit of Christ in your life by what you live and behave and how you operate. Guess what? You were never. It was never the phrase. By the number of scriptures you memorize, you shall know them. By the number of worship songs you have sung, you shall know them. By the number of Bible studies you've gone, you shall know them. By the number of kayaking, canoe trips to Jesus Bible camps with my kids you have gone to. You shall know them. It was by your fruit you shall know them.

I have to tell you, sometimes I'll read your comments on your Instagram when you're talking about any kind of.

Yeah, the people like to get spicy with me.

Well, like, the comments, I'm like, wow, you really believe that? That's mind boggling. Like. Like, comments like, well, if you do this and this, then you will go to hell. Well, if you do this and this, then you can go to heaven. I'm like, who taught you that? It's like, it's.

Well, who taught everybody a lot of stuff?

Yeah, I don't know.

Everybody's kind of teaching each other stuff. That's why I say that the most this is a problem with the inside of any marriage too, is that all of you guys are coming with. Both of you came with your individual sets of rules for the way the world is. You put God in a box, you put marriage in a box, you put money in a box, you put your kids in a box, you put everything in a box. It's never that you're gonna get out of a box. It's just when the box you're in becomes no longer useful, do you have the courage to let go of that box and jump into a bigger box?

Cause you're letting go of an entire identity. And that's why, like, I explained, like, I wasn't super religious, but at the same time, I had to let that identity of who I thought I was die. I had to let, like, the checklist. Danielle. Of like, hey, I did everything right. And then I looked at my marriage and my life, and everything was falling apart in shambles. And I was like, I have this false illusion that I have the white picket fence and the two kids, and I got married in the. In the temple. And I'm not saying that's bad or wrong, but for me, I'm like, I did everything I was supposed to do. And how the. How am I here right now? You know what I mean? And so I was like, this box no longer works for me. And I think that that's what. Where the karmic loop comes back around is like, where people could they just get stuck in this. Well, I'll just redo the checklist again. And you're like, oh, okay. Like, maybe consider that culture, that community is the only true way for you to get out.

Do you know what I think is funny? How. How people try to talk about marriage from such a plastic box. Like me. They're just like, they only want to show one side. Like, I love when we were. When we were starting this podcast. I started, like, years ago. I Started listening to people like. Like couples who were doing podcasts on. On marriage.

And, like, they're bad.

It was pretty bad. And it was pretty bad. Not for. For only one reason. Because you only hear one side of the story. Yeah, it's like, why don't you talk about the dark? It's like, everybody wants to talk about the three simple steps to success, but nobody wants to talk about the pit in the hell trying to get there.

I think that people are constantly. They, like, want to help people genuinely. They want to add value, and so that's why they maybe don' like the dark side. But you have found. And even me, like, and I share this even with my artists. I'm like, hey, when the more you share your truth, like the real story, not, like, the easy, like, the real truth, even as you're going through it, and not when it's like, oh, it's easy now. So now I can share the hard. Like, if you can learn to share your story as you're living it, good, bad, and ugly. You never know who it's. That's truly. When people are like, oh, I'm feeling that way. Okay, well, what are you guys doing? And that, to me, is more valuable than, like, just sharing all the fluffy stuff, I guess.

Well, it's easier to share your fluffy stuff. It's Instagram. Yeah, you know, it's Instagram. It's all the filter pictures. It's fluffy stuff.

I like a good filter.

Yeah, your Instagram feed's a little fluffy. It's a little fluffy. It's not bad. It's beautiful. It's a little fluffy.

Fluffy is not the best word.

It's fluffy.

I like clean aesthetic.

Yeah, it's beautiful. That's probably. It's beautiful. I'm not saying it's not beautiful. I'm not saying you're not beautiful. I'm saying that your Instagram feed is a little fluffy.

You know, it matches my personality. I like things like clean and pretty and filtered and.

You're not filtered.

I feel like I'm pretty in person.

I think you should drop some bombs on your page.

Why would I do that?

I think you should just drop. I think Susan should come out and drop some fucking bombs on your Instagram page.

I would ask that you do you and I'll do me.

That would be called masturbation. I'd rather do you.

I mean, you be you. I'll be me. Okay, you do you, Garrett.

How about I do you? You want me to take over your Instagram page for you?

No. Oh, my God.

I do have more followers than you. So would you like me to.

No, you don't.

I do.

You don't.

I do.

I have like 5,000 page has 20,000.

You can't use a business page.

Garrett J. White pages, because that's the only page. Are we.

So we're comparing dkw, the brand to Daniel K. White, Daniel K. White and Gary J. White. In the game, we. I'm beating.

You're the man.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

See what you did there? You told me you touched me later. You can fuck me me or you.

Can fuck me.

If I'm you. Can you be me or is that a one person is the other one's being fucked? Can two people.

Why? This is Garrett. I love Jesus. I love fucking. I'm like, this is the weirdest shit I've ever seen. Is it porn o' clock yet? Let's see.

Here's the thing, though. I'm telling you right now, like, do you. This question I asked people is like, did Jesus have sex? There's. People say Jesus had sex.

It was a real human.

Well, they say that he did. Some people say he was married to Mary Magdalene. Yeah, I don't know if that's true.

Kind of over this conversation.

All right, well, this conversation about Jesus and sex, people have a hard time with that. You know what people have a really hard time with? Being honest.

Really?

Yeah.

Are you honest with me all the time.

All the time. You're not all the time.

Okay.

I'm sure there's sometimes I'm not.

I don't want you to be.

Like, I can't recall one moment where I'm not right now, but, like, where. I'm sure there's moments where I maybe don't say something.

But that's good, though. I think that you should learn that. I think there's a period where I think of, like, our daughter. We're like. She'll say stuff. I'm like, is that. Was that just word vomit? Like, I understand you were feeling that. I need you to, like, understand. You're 15. You're not a three year old. Yeah, there's like, come on. Like, you need to control your feelings right now. Like, please don't say everything you're thinking because now you can't unsay that.

Yeah, well, there's a relevancy factor to it. Right. But it. The honesty fact, we just saw this happen again this last weekend at a couple different events I was running. And also in the last month, I've been In a situation with guys that I have known for a couple of them, five, six, seven, eight years, and they finally got honest about some cheating. They went on the relationships like, a while ago. Are you gonna answer that?

No, I'll answer it later. I know, I'll just answer it. We're almost done.

And the freedom that's coming from that is massive. And we had one couple who went through this here just like a month ago. And I got back in touch with him again when I said, how are things going? And he said, dude, we've never been closer in our entire life. And he said, my wife said, I've always known something had gone on between us that kept us distant from one another.

So they're still together?

Yeah. And they're super on it now. They're on fire sexually, emotionally, mentally. They're older and they've been together for a long time. And they both owned their side of the equation.

But he cheated.

No, just. He did. Okay, but he cheated. A lot of guys cheat with hand job massage parlors. That meaning they don't go have sex with a woman.

Is that cheating?

Someone would consider it cheating. Somebody. I mean, if I went and got a massage tonight and got a hand job, would that be cheating?

It'd just be gross.

But would it be cheating? Like, if I went and did it, would you care?

I mean, I would care, but would.

You care if she was like, super ugly?

It wouldn't be like, we're getting divorced now because you went and got a hand job.

So I have authorization to get hand job massages on Fridays only.

I'd be a little less attracted to you if you did that.

You really don't care if I did that? I mean, I have no desire to do it. I think it's weird too. I don't want to do it. The one time I went into a massage place where they were obviously anticipating.

This, I would question my skills.

Did I tell you this when this happened? It's my last point for this story so that people can hear another vulnerable story. Well, I'm going to tell them the story. I went into this place, this new place, a Thai place, and I went to go get a massage because I was, like, very stressed out. So I went to go get a massage and I go in there and I should have known. There were signs all over the place that I was just not choosing to be aware of. I guess I go into the room and I lay down. They put the sheet on. So I'm laying down there naked with the sheet on. Ready to get my massage. This lady walks in, like, five minutes later. So I'm laying in there, just relaxing. There's no music playing. I should have known there should be any music playing, but there's not. I'm laying in this room, and the lights are kind of bright, but I'm like, I don't.

The rubber gloves.

No, no, there weren't any rubber gloves.

Smack.

There was none of that. She walks in, and the first move that she does, she just rips the sheet completely off. So there I'm laying on the table, naked, very vulnerable. Very vulnerable. And I was like, exactly. That's exactly. I was just like.

So you've never. You've never had a happy ending?

Never ever. Well, I kind of had a happy ending. Let me tell you how it went down, okay? It wasn't like an intentional happy ending. So I'm laying around the table. I'm totally naked. I'm like, am I gonna do right now? Like, I was very nervous. I was like, I've never had this situation happening before. I'm just laying here. This is weird. And I was like, white, get your shit together. You know this. All right? You're fine. You should get in a massage. It's fine. So then she comes in and she puts on, like, 900%.

I'm sorry if somebody came in and did that. I've been like. Like, give me the sheet. I'm out.

Yeah, well, I should sheet. I thought I was having a moment of just, like, you know, hey, be cool with your sexuality. Be cool with who you are. You're good. Just lay there. You're good. You're fine. I thought maybe she got. Maybe she got some techniques I don't know about, which she did have some techniques. I wasn't.

You really were. You. Were you, like, get your together, or was there part of you, like, where does this.

No, I. The funny part was in my mind. I thought, this is odd. But I was also working at the time on my brain of thinking, it's like 2015.

Was she hot?

No, dude. I didn't even see her when she walked in. No, she wasn't a dude. It was not a dude for sure. I mean, maybe it was a dude that was pretending to be a girl. I don't know. But I'm sitting there, she rips a towel and she brace. Way too much oil. And I'm like, God, that's so much oil. So I was like, there's sign number two. Sign number one. Lights are on. There's no music. Sign number two, she rips a sheet off completely. Sign number three, she puts like 900 unnecessary oil all over my body, but she squirts it all over my shoulders.

And she still were laying there like, I wonder where this is gonna go.

Oh, I'm having a moment. I listen, talking about it from 2022, looking back eight, nine years, I'm thinking that was a stupid move. But at the time I wasn't thinking that was a stupid move for so whatever reason, I'm thinking, okay, just like, you know, this thing's going to turn around and go somewhere positive. I've already paid for a 90 minute massage. This is going to go somewhere.

Paid 13.9.

That was sign number five. $12 massage. You got a coupon in a strip mall.

She said, we promise you won't be disappointed. And you were like.

You promise you will not feel comfortable during this massage. So I'm lying there and she drew in the oil. And then it happened. I mean, do you want me to say this? This is like a moment. I think I'm having a moment. It's a moment, honestly, with you.

It's more a moment of embarrassment on a live podcast. I'm really hearing the truth and I'm like, you did get a happy ending, you sick bastard.

No, no, no, I didn't get a happy ending. Well, not a happy ending that you were thinking. So I'm laying there like, where are we going with that now? Let me finish it. Let me finish the story. So I'm lying there and she's doing the oil, like all over. I'm like, God, I don't know what to do in this situation. I've never been in this situation. I'm feeling a little vulnerable. I'm feeling a little used. I'm feeling a little taken advantage of. Yeah, I am at the same time having a little, like, I don't know where this is going, probably little Garden of Eden, Risky fruit. I'm like, I'm in the pocket.

And you're like, fucking group one.

I'm in the pocket and I don't know what to do. So I'm lying there and she does this thing where she comes down my back over my ass cheek and she swipes my asshole with her pinky and then brushes my balls.

That's a direct hit. That's a direct.

So it happened.

I was like, that's a direct hit.

I didn't know what to do though. Like, I'm having a moment. I know it sounds so weak right now, but I'm like, I Don't know. Leave me telling it to. Why am I now I got up and I'd be like, I'm fucking done with this. Whatever.

What did you do?

I laid there. This happened three times.

Oh, you got ball flicked three times.

But the third ball flick.

Oh, it was a grab.

No, it wasn't a grab.

I'm so scared right now.

I'm not. So listen, I'm not hard at all.

But third ball flick, and then you felt guilty. Cause all of a sudden you got hard.

Nope, didn't get hard.

Okay, where came. No, stop. You did not tell me that.

Oh, this wins some honesty on the podcast right now. So I freaking lose my shit. I sit up, I grab the towel, I wrap myself around my. I wrap the towel around myself and I'm like, I've never. I don't even know what to do. She's like, we're done. I'm done. I'm done. She's like, what? I was like, we're done. We're good. Thank you. I'm not upset at you. Go away. Bye bye. Go away.

How did you come now?

I don't understand how. I can't. I didn't even have a hard on. Huh.

Are you sure you.

I am positive. I didn't have a heart on.

But you're.

I was laying on my stomach. Wow.

Such a juicy podcast.

So it gets worse. The whole management team from the salon.

The spa comes in right now. I'm what, you're like, repenting?

I kind of am repenting, I guess. The whole massage team comes in, including the management, looks right at me, and.

They'Re like, your balls. How many groupons did you have?

Oh, that's so. So I got four women sitting there. I'm wrapped in the towel, and the manager, they. None of them could barely speak English, right? They're all like, Vietnamese, I think. And they're all sitting there. She's like, you okay? We finished? We finished. I was like, I'm already finished.

If I can't do it, she can do it, or she can do it, or he can do it.

I'm done.

We got you.

I'm done. So they all leave. I tip everyone. I get in the car and I drive away and I feel horrible.

I don't know if I could have sex tonight. Not thinking about this story.

Oh, I may have ruined it for myself, but here's the point. Like, I did not have a happy ending massage, but it ended in an outcome of happy ending without wanting it to be a happy ending.

So should I Feel bad for you.

I don't know. You should feel bad.

Sorry.

It was one of those moments. But here's the thing. Like, I understand guys go in, but like, you're laying there and getting hand job for five, 10 minutes.

I really didn't know.

I really didn't know I could promise you. I swear to you on everything.

So pardon me is like, I had no idea because I think I was never like, a little irritated. If you're like, I have. I have a confession. I wanted to go to a hand job massage. And we got halfway through and I felt guilty and I came a little bit and so I laughed. But the fact that you're like, what just happened.

No, literally, I felt like I was. I felt like I was like. Like I had been taken advantage of.

You had.

But I left myself in the situation.

To be put your.

Yes, I left myself in. I would never be in that situation.

Stupid situation. Stupid shit will happen.

Yeah. It was eight years ago. I put myself in a stupid situation.

Yeah. Well, anyways, do you have any other stupid situations? I mean, we're here.

Let me think. No, that was it. It that. I think that was it. Okay, that was it.

Do you feel better? Do you smoke? What do we. What do we got?

I just can't believe it happened. It's one of those things where I'm like, I can't believe this happened. We talk about this to our guys all the time. Like, do you ever get me in a massage? Like, I haven't. Not.

Not on purpose.

I had a.

Sadly, your couples, they like. So they. Now their marriage is on fire.

Yes.

And he had been doing this.

He had been going every month for a couple years.

Why were they not having. What is the deeper issue?

There was. There was. There was not any. The sex had become like every like three, four, five weeks. And it was kind of what we call vaginal masturbation, which happens for a lot of couples.

Yeah, I know.

Which means there's not a lot of people.

But I. I don't think we'd ever go like that.

They would. I mean, this happens a lot where it goes to drift and so then guys drift and they go look for attention and they go to a place knowing they can get it, and they get it, the massage.

And it's a little risky. So it's kind of like, oh, but it's not like you're not, like, you're not a full cheat. You're not in an emotional affair. I feel like emotional affairs are probably like. I would consider that cheating like, when we go back and you had your affair, it wasn't like you slept with her, but you were basically, like, dating her.

Yeah.

You had more of, like, an emotional affair, which I was so numb at that point that I was just like, when you told me, like, hey, I kissed this person. And then I found out, like, I knew she was like, a client slash of yours. And I knew there was definitely a. Like, I'd seen you guys together and I was like, they're really friend friendly. But the fact that I'd, like, been to dinner with you guys and, like, I didn't even. I was just like, whatever, like, you can be friendly with him. Like, I knew that was probably the bigger issue. And the bigger problem is that, like, when you told me, I was like, I was it. I wasn't like, oh, my God, how could you do that to me? I was kind of, like, gross. And then I was like, wow, we're that far. Like, I, I. If I actually paid attention to what was going on in my marriage and actually paid attention to the red flags, why would I be surprised? Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but if, like, I mean, a.

Lot of red flags at the time.

But it was like, I, at the time, like, if you would tell me that now, I've been like, how the did that happen? But, like, then we were so numb that when I found out, I was like, like. And the only reason I didn't leave you is because, like, if you would have told me that and I was who I am now, I've been like, oh. But at the time, I was also nine months pregnant with our second baby girl. So I even think with not even who I am now, but, like, if I wasn't pregnant, I would have been like, that was a bad situation. I'd be like, thank you for giving me permission to get the fuck out of this marriage. But I was pregnant, and I was very vulnerable. And then I was like, okay. And then I just started working on myself. And in working on myself, I realized, like, I was definitely a part of the relationship. I was a part of the outcome. And so I was like, well, I don't know if I want to stay married, but I'm not really. Even though, like, I'm not pregnant anymore and things aren't great. I don't know if I'm ready to go. Like, let's see if we can make this work. Having two young kids and it was rocky, and then we came out the other end, and now we have two more kids, and now we Get a chance to, like, do it again with, like, our young family, but, like, be in a better space where we actually are, like, like, connected and that kind of thing. And it was hard, and there's still, like, up and down moments. But I feel like now, like, even when it. Like, everyone. Like, even people I work with can always tell when I'm irritated at you. They're like, you're mad at your. Yeah, but in. But in the past, if I was mad at you, I was like. Like, I was, like, planning my escape route. Like, stashing cash kind of.

Yeah, I think you still stash cash. I just Amazon box.

I don't. You know what? I do. This is so funny. I'll share this story on this podcast. So Garrett gets a black Amex, and he's been trying to get this for, like, a couple years. And I'm like, oh, cool. Can they. I want a black Amex. Give me one. He's like, no, they can't do it, babe. They can't. They can't get you a black Amex. I was like, they can't for sure get one. No. So I was like, can't you just add me to your account? Like, just get me a card. And you're like, no. Yeah, you go, it's five grand a year. I was like, oh, great, I'll get one. You're like, no. I was like, what do you mean, no? You're like, it's mine. I want the black Amex. It's mine. It's my card. I want it. It's. I worked really hard for this. I want it.

I'm like, what did you do?

I saw, so I laughed. So when you heard me, what did you do? I took your black Ame Amex out of your card, I put it on my Apple Pay, and I buy whatever the I want with your black Amex. Not only that, no wonder my bill.

Goes up all the time. I'm like, I never use it.

That's the only notification I have on, so I can track you wherever you're at. Like a psychopath.

So when I go to the Thai massage parlor, you'll know.

That's weird.

Oh, you know I got Gelson's today.

Oh, yeah? Oh, you bet your ass. I know everything you spend and where you're at, because not only do I.

Have the black card, you're a size.

I know where the black card is at all times.

Are you a tracker?

Not really. That's why I think it's so funny. I did mean to scan it on my Apple Pay.

Is that why you get the notification?

Yeah, but I didn't realize. I turned my notifications on, but now it's like a running joke. Because I'll call you and I'll be like, are you getting a Sam?

At first, I was like, how did you know that? Are you here?

I was like, you know, I got that sixth sense. I'm like, just kidding.

My notifications told me, well, you know what?

But now I can't turn it off. It's kind of funny. I'll be like, why is Garrett buying a $30,000 couch? Or restoration Hardware? Jeff, go ahead and cancel that. We're not. That's not approved, Garrett. It doesn't pick out furniture. That's me going to cancel that.

I had a moment in the middle of the night about a $30,000 couch.

Yeah, I canceled that. Buy a couch ever.

Speaking of $30,000, do you know how much my poke bowl was at Gelson's today? You should know. You got a notification.

$8.

No, 16.

I don't know.

30 fucking dollars.

Oh, I did see that. And I was like, man, you.

30 fucking dollars? No. Do you remember when I got you a salad at Gelson's years ago? Like, six, seven years ago. But they. They do it by how much it weighs. And I told her the salad was, like, $110.

Was it?

And I was, like, losing my. I couldn't believe the salad was so expensive because they weigh it by the pound. I looked at the lady, and I said, she. So I got a bang Energy drink, a water, and a. And a Poke bowl. And she was 40 some dollars. I was like, 40? I'm looking at the bill like that. That poke bowl was $30.

Why did you get one at Gelson's.

Going, because I was at Gale. I know, but it was gonna take too long.

Who buys.

Why would they take $30 at Gelson'? My best Pokeballs ever. Like, 18. And they make it for you? I had to make it for myself, and it was $30.

What's the deeper issue here, Garrett?

Deeper issues? You track my spending, so you need to knock that off. All right, we're out of here. Well, there you go. There's truth for you. Truth for you. We got almost happy ending.

We need a seance. Like, we not a seance. We need to. What are they?

Burn some sage.

We need to burn sage flickings.

Listen, I was traumatized by that. I'm not gonna die. I. I kind of told you. I told you about it, but I was like, it was very embarrassing. I was super embarrassed. Oh. I didn't feel. I didn't feel like it was a liberating experience at all. I feel like.

Do you feel better now?

I mean, I don't really feel better either way. I just, like, think it's probably a positive thing that everybody knows everybody's got one more thing to go. This guy's a psychopath. Don't look at me. I'll get people. Just do the finger flick. Hey, Garrett. Hey.

Gross. I'm like, oh, all right, that's it.

We're out of here.

If you guys want more information on either of us, I am Danielle. I'm the creator of Natural Beauty Row Hair Extensions. I have a hairline called Isla, named after my third baby girl. And we do tons of education. Every single month, we do a virtual event. If you want more information on that. And again, you're a hairstylist. Go to MBR Education to learn more.

If you're a human being looking for more power and the ability to have an operating that sounds like a commercial and operating system that's personally and professionally sound, head on over To Wake up, wakeupwarrior.com WarriorCon4 coming up October 26th to 29th. Only men in person. Only men VIP. But we have men and women attending virtual. There'll be over 10,000 people virtually. We have 200 people in person at $30 million studio in Las Vegas, Nevada. If you'd like to participate and learn the Warriors Way system, yes, men, you can come, and your wife can come with you. Learn the same system. It's going to be to both genders. Our first time doing a conference like this again, October 26th through 29th. You can check that out@wakeupwarrior.com right here. This show's over. I just don't have any more embarrassing shit to tell you for this.