Slip 'N Slide | Date Your Wife | Ep 010

Well, hello there, my friends. My name is Garrett J. White, founder, Wake Up Warrior, and your co host here inside of the Date your Wife podcast. Good news is this week is that my wife decided to show up. Course, babe, you've been able. You've been willing to show up every. You showed up at every single show we've done so far. How do you feel about yourself?

You showed up your entire life, buddy.

You showed up my entire life.

I am the secret in your ear. I don't know what I was going to say.

Secret in my cuff.

I am the secret secret spice.

You are the cream in my java. All right, anyway, so welcome. Welcome to our show. Here, if you are here for the very first time, is episode number 10, Inside of the Date your Wife podcast series. This show was launched in the making about two and a half years ago. I actually bought the domain dateyourwife.com, which, of course, we have nothing there quite yet. But we do have stuff@dateyourwifenow.com where you'll find all of the show notes, the action guides, the tips and tricks, also the video, audio, and and text versions of all of these shows. If you missed this so far, let us catch you up on what's happening here. The Date youe Wife podcast is all about accomplishing the following, which is speaking to the message of couples inside of the Warrior movement. Now, I have no problem with single people, divorced people. I've been both. I've been single, been divorced. We almost got divorced ourselves multiple times over the last eight years. And inside of that, there were certain situations where it would have made sense for my wife to say, fuck it, I'm out of here. This guy is no longer worth the time, energy, and effort. But through the uncovering of a doctrine, a system, and a science that literally put my life back together inside of a book known as the Warrior book, found@warriorbook.com, the science of the warriors way changed the way that I experienced myself as a man. And inside of that place, it changed our relationship here, inside of the podcast. So we're gonna work on a couple topics. Every single week, we're gonna focus on a different one. Danielle and I are trying to bring the message of the Warrior's way into a couple conversation. If you haven't listened to our past shows, I'd encourage you to do that. Today's topic, though, we're gonna talk about sex.

I feel like you have waited three whole long weeks for us.

I've literally waited three weeks to talk more about sex. I've managed to work.

That's why I wore my sexy ball cap.

You wore your sexy ball cap?

Yeah.

Is that your. Is that your I'm gonna pretend I'm an athlete ball cap? Is that a little sexual?

Do you wanna talk about sex?

Foreplay? Do you wanna talk about sex? I'm wearing my large braided ponytails with my white fitness hat.

It actually just came from the gym.

It just came from. Well, I appreciate your effort. Okay, cool. So here's the deal. Little work in the gym leads to a little nice naked body. All right, here's the deal. Topic of sex is where we've gone. We've covered the topic of sex every time we circle the bases. Imagine our shows are like, first base, second base, third base, home base. Interesting. We would talk about that on the sex show. Oh, yes. We make our bases. Base number one is sex. Base number two. Base number sex should be the final one, but for whatever reason, it's the first base, second show. Every week we're gonna go from that to money. Then we're gonna go from that to third base, which is going to be our topic of parenting. And then we're gonna come home all the way and dealing with communication.

So I have gotten a lot of responses on Quickie.

Quickie Porn star.

No, on. Just on my Instagram of women saying, like, I look forward to the Date your Wife podcast show. I listen to it every week. I'm so stoked. I'm like, oh, yay. Cause, like, I feel like I promote the big money stylist one a lot. I mean, I promote the date your wife one too, actually. I do. I promote the date your wife one more.

I think you promote the date the Date youe Wife. Good.

Yeah. Cause, like, photos of us on my Instagram, but you never know who's listening. And I don't even really know, like, how you share podcasts and that, but I've noticed a lot of people it's kind of trickled over to the. My social media platform, which I'm mostly in is Instagram. And they're like, oh, I love the show. So I'm like, oh, yeah, good, thanks.

So, like, we're gonna. We're gonna. I appreciate that. That was great that you just shared that last week was fun. The comparison we got from our team that writes our copy, they said that it was like watching a sparring match between Danielle and Garrett on the topics of communication, which, interestingly enough, a lot of the conversation we were having inside of now we've introduced two really Powerful systems over the last four, eight weeks. Because we've rounded the sex topic twice. Danielle shared the first one. Quickie, Quickie Porn Star. I'd like you to review the Quickie, Quickie Porn star.

You love it so much.

Guys love it, and I believe it actually helps women, too. So talk about this. Quickie, Quickie Porn Star. QQP I feel like.

Okay, so since we're on the topic of sex, I feel like there's couples. Either you're not having sex or you're having sex. But even I have, like, yep, we're having sex. I even have, like, friends and couples. I know that they're like, yeah, we're having sex. But, like, they don't like it. And they don't even like the person they're married to or they're with. And I'm like, well, you're still having sex. That's weird. And so I noticed for. With Garrett, like, he. He doesn't want, like, empty sex is what I'm gonna call it. Like, you can't, like. I can't just, like, throw him a.

Bone and be like, no, I call that vaginal masturbation.

And so I was like. But, like, oftentimes, like, I'm not like, I. I'm like, I don't need, like, a full show every time. So what, they like a show by me?

You don't need me to do a strip show for you.

I do. Can you do that every night?

I've actually done a strip show. No.

Whenever. If I joke around and say, yeah, show me a strip show, it gets, like, almost. It gets creepy. Because you don't. You're not trying to be sexy. You're trying to be funny.

And I'm like, no, I know. I do the pull my. I pull my. Under my pants.

You show me some weird thong, and I'm like. I'm like, I don't.

Little thong.

You're trying to be funny. And I'm like, that's not sexy at all.

It's not very sexy. So, like, I probably wouldn't, but for some reason in my mind, it's actually, like, more fun to be funny than it is to be sexy.

You know what? I would invite you to be more comfortable with your sexuality.

Okay.

I'm being serious.

I am being absolutely receiving your seriousness.

Yes. Like, I want to see a legit thon back.

I think you legit.

No.

You literally threw me under the bus on that. I think I probably do have a problem with, like, being comfortable with my sexuality. I think I do Yeah, I think let's talk about that today. But right after you talk about Kwiki Quickie porn star, we'll talk about my sexual dysfunction issues, I guess.

No, the only thing I was saying is, like, listen, there's, like, times where it's like, I feel like Garrett. Well, specifically Garrett, I guess I could say. Or maybe guys, maybe some girls. But, like, if in our relationship, I feel like he could want it more than I could, and I'm like, whatever. So I just came up with this concept of, like, quickie, quickie, boring start. Because I was like, listen, it has to happen, like, every couple days. And. But it can't just be like, oh, look, I mean, I get it. I have kids. You're tired. You don't have kids. You're still tired.

Whatever.

From work and whatnot. And so it's like, you just have to make sure you have, like, for me, it was like, on the. Every third time, it was, like, really good, like, connecting, take your time kind.

Of sex, which is the porn star side.

Yeah. And I don't. I guess porn star wouldn't be like, the. That's just what came out of my mind. Okay. When I said the show, let's just.

Allow the truth to flow. You said quickie, quickie porn star, which we all understand. I appreciate you being direct with your copy.

You didn't need to bullshit away so people know what I mean when I'm saying that. So I'm like, listen, there's some nights, like, top stays on and the bottom half's just going, okay. And that's fine.

Yep, that's.

But then there's times where you get, like, kids are in bed, and they've been in bed for a couple hours, so you're good to go.

You're good to go. That means the top can come off. That means you could even leave some lights on. That means that you could do some dancing around. That means you could deliberately just be in your thong and be leaning over the sink and.

See, that's. That's what sexy is. Like, you just casually come out sexy underwear, and you're just like, this is what I do. This. I'm just gonna tell you, ladies, I like it. You don't literally like a new pair of underwear and, like, a new bra. You just casually walk across the room and say, have you seen my toothbrush?

Yeah, you could even just skip the bra. Just save some money.

Don't buy the bra.

Just buy the tooth brush.

Yeah, Usually, like, if you're really. If you're really, like, let's just skip all the small stuff and get right to it. You could just have a cute pair of underwear. Not say anything and just brushing your teeth with underwear on. Does it.

Oh, man. There's nothing more inspiring than watching your wife and her naked ass with the thong and the brushing of the teeth.

All right, let's not give them a visual, but all right.

So anyways, given too much on that. So you've got your idea of quickie, quickie porn star. I came out our last one, and we talked a little bit about this idea of tell me, touch me, fuck me, ttf, and this was actually me uncovering the formula for myself. It also applies to women because there's some women who tend to be more like this and some men who tend to be more like this. So you could apply it either direction. TTF is not biased on sexuality or preference or even race or religion. It just says, hey, listen, you might be a person that has a desire to be touched frequently. And I mean like this. Let me demonstrate.

I'm scared where you're going.

Okay, Just this, like, a little touching. If you're watching it on the video, you'll see what I'm talking about. It's like a little touching. Okay, so that's the first kind of touching. It doesn't have to be sexual at all. The second one is like, to tell the person that they're important, which would be like me turning and saying, you're important. You're awesome. You're creating so much great stuff. Like, I.

If you ever look at me again and say. And say that creepy look, you're important. You're special to me.

I love you.

Thank you so much. I want to make babies with you.

All right, so, okay, so obviously that was probably not the best demonstration. You could probably do a lot better than my demo. All right? And then the third one is actually fucking, right? So this gets to the sex part, which is the actual ties into QQPs, right? Which is quickie, quickie porn star tied into tell me, touch me, fuck me. So the minute that we got these two things figured out, which was, I just need her to tell me, hey, listen, you're amazing. You're doing a great job. I need her to touch me a few times. Not sexual. Didn't need to touch the penis. Just, like, touch my body somewhere on my head, on my ears, touch my amazing gray beard that makes everyone think I'm 55 years old and I'm some fucking sugar daddy who just scooped up this young teenager over here.

Does it mean, like, if I think shaving the beard's sexy, does that play a role?

It's a balance. It's a balancing act. I'm not gonna lie. Like, I'm shaving it for you. I mean, I'm looking at it right now inside of the camera. I am looking. And then my mom's here.

I'll brush my teeth more in underwear if you shave your beard more.

Done. Shave today. Will you do the panties and toothbrush tonight?

Yeah, if it's clean shaven.

All clean shave. And then you're gonna.

I'll brush my teeth every day. If you can maintain a clean beard.

With a thong on and just giving me.

No, I'll just brush my teeth every day. I'm just kidding.

Okay, well, the truth is out. All right, so both of those topics, then they catch you up to the game of where we're at with this topic of sex. But we're not talking about sex. Like, hey, I'm on Tinder, or, I'm on Bumble, I'm single and I'm trying to go on. Or you're, like, on Ashley Madison, you're looking for somebody to cheat on your partner with. We're only specifically talking about how this works inside of the game of being in a committed relationship and being married and having kids and running businesses and having the chaos of life come up. Now, today we're going to talk about some other stuff about sex because you learned some things. You learned some things we talked about in last show. You became an astrologist. You got into astrology.

I wish you would have read those articles.

I did read the articles.

Brushed over them.

All right, I read one of them.

No, you read one.

I read one of them.

You read one paragraph and decided it was putting you in a box and stopped reading and told me I was an astrologist.

I did not tell you was putting me in a box.

No, I could tell. I could read your energy.

You could read my energy?

I could read your mind.

Is that because you're a Taurus?

No, it's because I'm awesome.

Okay, so you figured some things out about yourself sexually. Now, here's the one thing that was interesting. We went to therapy. What are your thoughts about sex therapy? We went to sex therapy.

Yeah. I didn't really dig the girl. The specific girl. Her vibe and energy was a little weird.

So you weren't down with the sex therapist girl, but what did you think about going to sex therapy? Because a lot of people may not have made a lot of couples may not have even realized that there is such thing as sex therapy.

We actually only went to two sessions. I didn't. I. If I'm being honest, I didn't really find anything out. I don't remember thinking there was, like, any breakthrough moments for me, but I. I'm sure you had some as a.

Fucking huge breakthrough for me.

Well, then it was good that we went.

Well, it was a fucking great. That was a horrible setup to sex therapy. I'm gonna give you the truth.

Well, I was just from my perspective, and from my perspective, I. And I even think, I bet a lot of couples that go in there for specifically on sex therapy, it's. It's way deeper than just the actual sex.

It's not even about sex. I mean, it's about sex, but it's not about sex. It's about communication.

Yeah. And I got the feeling like she didn't go that deep with people, and it was like a. And so it was like she was more literally, like, all about, like, the sex.

Well, we went to sex therapy with her after we'd been to therapy with a whole bunch of other therapists, and we'd been working through a lot of our communication issues. The coolest thing about sex therapy, though, was one thing that changed my entire story. Okay, so I'm gonna have you consider inside of. Inside of our game here today as a couple talking about sex on the Date you, wife podcast and that all of those who are watching, listening, or reading through this, that you have a story about sex. Now we're gonna look at my fucked up story because it appears that I have even more fucked up story that you've already identified.

I was just thinking that. I was like, how come we can talk about it?

Okay, I'm willing to talk about it. Let me set this first piece and then we'll come to that piece. And we could just continue to throw me under the treadmill here and have it rub my face. All right, so here's what happens, though. So we had gone to all these therapists. Like, when Danielle and I hit this final collision, we're like, that's it. We are going to therapy. Now. You didn't want to go to therapy for a long time. And there's a lot of people don't.

Want to go to therapy. I think I looked at therapy as, like, admitting that I'm broken. And I was like, I'm not broken, it's you. If you want to go to therapy, that's great. Go ahead and figure yourself out.

And so we didn't Go to therapy. Like, I tried going to therapy by myself. That didn't work out so well. My ex wife, I tried to go to. I mean, there's a pattern here. Obviously, I'm the asshole involved in the equation. We try to go to therapy. I ended up by myself. She didn't go to therapy. We ended up divorced. So we finally go to therapy together as a couple. The window opened, I seized my opportunity, and off to therapy we went. And for all of those on Livestream, you're not gonna get to hear about the single greatest breakthrough that happened inside of our sexual lives that happened while sitting on a couch in sex therapy. You're gonna have to wait for the show when it comes live on. Bye. Bye. All right, so for everybody else that is sitting here in the show, let's continue. And maybe you were on live stream with us and you got a little sample participating here a week early. So we were sitting there on the couch, and I'm having this story in my mind, and the story in my mind tells me the following. It says, my wife doesn't want to have sex. Now, I had been playing this story in my mind for a decade or longer. I had been playing this story that my wife does not want to have sex. Now, the crazy part is I had created that story in my first marriage because that story started even back then. That story started almost 20 years ago of my wife doesn't want to have sex. And I just pulled that story into our marriage, and it continued for over a decade. So we're sitting there in sex therapy. Do you remember this? Remember what you said inside of sex therapy? I'm going to lead up to you, and I'm going to see if you remember. We're sitting there and we're going back and forth. We've been through months of therapy. And my wife makes this comment to the therapist, and she says, I want to have sex. Say it one more time. Say what you said.

I just was expressing. Garrett just thought I didn't want to have sex. I was like, no, I like sex.

Yeah. Like, no, say it the way you said it. I want to have sex. Say it that way.

Because that's how you said. I remember that's how I said it. But sure you did.

Say it. Say it one more time.

I want to have sex.

Yeah. And I am sitting there on the couch, right? So people talk about when they have an accident with a vehicle and, like, the car slows down and, like, everything slows down and collapses.

I didn't realize it was such A.

Moment trickling across the face, and there's like this. So I'm sitting there on the couch, and we had gone to war so many times over this topic for so many years. And my story was that Danielle didn't want to have sex. And here we are sitting in therapy, and Danielle smashes my story. Like, just smashes it. And my mind didn't even know how to compute what I was hearing. We had gotten ourselves into an environment where Danielle could be free to speak, because she had never once said that to me our entire marriage. Why had you never told me this? Our entire marriage, that you wanted to have sex. Why did you wait till sex?

Why did you assume that I didn't?

That's a good question. I'm going to get to that here in a second. I'm asking you the question, though. Why did you not.

I asked you a question first.

I already asked the question.

I asked you a question first.

Oh, my God, woman, answer the question. Seriously. Why did you never say it? Because I'm throwing myself under the dust.

I don't think that the couples normally will say that.

That I want to have sex? Yeah, that I want you. That I believe you're amazingly sexy and.

Attractive and I want to fuck you, obviously, like you. That just happens. And you assume when it happens, like, oh, they wanted to have sex with.

Me, but it was not natural for you to say, I want to have sex with you.

I would argue that a lot of couples don't come up and say, don't go about. A lot of couples talk about sex.

Talk about yourself.

No, I don't think that. What I'm trying to get to is, I don't remember if I did or did not ever say that to you.

I know you never did, but you're.

Acting like that's a common thing that should be said, and I don't.

No, I'm not saying it should be a common thing at all. I'm just saying you had never actually said it. So my story was, Danielle does not want to have sex. So for the very first time, I'm sitting in therapy and you say, I want to have sex. Now, my mind can only accept one of these two as true. Either my wife doesn't want to have sex, or so do you. You like your stories, too, called I don't ever answer a Question without a rephrase of a Question of Myself, and I always make it about Garrett and not about myself. Oh, yeah, that's right. I just tried to.

You just tried to flip it again.

No, you were the queen of flipping.

You are the flipping.

You might as well have a fucking TV show on flipping. They're like, what is this? Well, flip that story. So we're sitting there. It's not even like, flip that house. Like, flip that story. So I'm sitting there, and Danielle says, I want to have sex. And I'm blown away, and my entire world shifts. And I remember sitting there in therapy, and my story about my wife was shredded. And inside of that place, I had a new place where a new story could be created, a new story that my wife actually wanted to have sex with me. Now, this was, like. This was almost two years ago that we went through this, and we had gotten a lot of things figured out as a couple, but this was a big one, and it changed me, and it also changed Danielle. So now I'm gonna come back to you, okay? So communicating about sexual desire and what you want is not natural for you.

Why is this communicating what?

Communicating about sex and what you want is not natural for you. Meaning? We didn't ever have, like, really? I don't remember having, like, really? I remember having lots of fights about sex, but I remember having, like, sit down and talk about sexual conversations.

I think you were hard to approach. I think. I think that you. I don't know. Like, even if I wanted to, you'd made it so hard for me to, like, punch your door down. Yeah, there was, like, such a wall there that I was like. I was just like, God, I don't even know how to approach this. Like, if I. If I do, is it get. It's. It gotten to the point where it was, like, so awkward, like, even if I wanted to talk about it or if I just was like, hey, love you. Like. Like, last night was great. You know what I mean? I mean, now it's. It's. It's gotten better. I still think it could be even more better. And I don't. I just. I think I didn't feel safe because of the story you had about me. And I even at some level, think I started to believe the story. And then I think honestly, too, that's why I started studying more of astrology. I was trying to figure out, like, my kids at first, and then I was like, I'm going to read about me. And it kind of, like, a lot of the stuff it talked about, it kind of, like, really hit home to me. And I was like, yeah, I think that's who I am. And I think when I think forever, you were like, oh, you had your story. And I started to believe your story, too, which made it harder for both of us. So it was kind of like. But I. In my heart, I didn't feel like that story or that person was me. But now I'm even trying to break out of this story. Do you know what I mean? That has been created.

So, like, how much of this do you think circulated around? Like, there was so much taboo topic about sex? I mean, I was 15 years old. I had a girlfriend who was 18 years old, and we had planned on having sex at the prom.

You know what's interesting?

What? You have a thought on this? Sex and prom?

No, no. I was trying to think back to even when we were first dating. I feel like I was always the one. Like, all right, let's get into this. And you would always. You had a lot of guilt around it.

I had a lot of guilt.

And I was just like, okay, cool. And I didn't want. I wasn't like. I didn't want to be the weird girl, like, pressuring either one of us to do anything. But I think I maybe had a little bit less guilt around the topic. I don't know if that has anything to do with the story you're about to share, but that's what just came to my mind.

I'm sure. I'm confident that there was less guilt. I mean, I had a ton of guilt. So I'm like 15 years old. I have this girlfriend's 18. I'm going to have sex with her, but I'm being raised Mormon, and having sex before you get married is just like a no bueno move according to the belief. And so. And which I have no problem with. People who believe this or go that way, it's no problem. But I had. I. So I had made the decision. I'm gonna have sex with this girl named Angie. And Angie and I are connected for, like a year. And my parents and I. My parents are up in arms about me being a. You know, dating her. And I get it. You know, I'm 15 years old, she's 18. And she was 18. She was 18. She was a senior in high school. I was a sophomore, and she was a cheerleader, and I was a starter. I was a starter in high school in football. And that was how I met her, was she was a cheerleader for the football team. So anyways, we dated and we had this plan, and then I came and shit went sideways. I talked about the plan with my parents. That was probably the worst idea at the time. As a 15 year old, if you want to have sex with your 18 year old girlfriend, you don't tell your parents that you're planning on having sex with your 18 year old girlfriend. And inside of that place, I think I was really nervous around the whole topic anyways because I had a ton of feelings for her. And then I ended up getting packed up, shipped away. I lived in Washington at the time and I got shipped to Utah to live with my grandparents in a small place called Perry Utah. And I hung out there for a couple months and then went back to school my junior year. And I feel like I left that entire situation very incomplete.

Yeah, that's weird.

Like I never got to have, I never had closure conversation with her ever. Like we never like, it was just a year dating. I'm like totally in love with this girl.

And then it was like your first love.

It was. And I was kind of fucked up about it. So then I get married and I'm still practicing at the time, I'm practicing Mormonism and my ex wife and I get married and we have some exchanges that happen sexually before we get married and then we lie to get married and then we get married and then I feel all this guilt again. So I have all of this shit that's going on for my teenager and then I have all this shit that's going on for me with my first marriage. So then I'm feeling guilty and then I get cancer and then she gets pregnant with my son who's now almost 19 and sex is a shit show. And so I'm just building this game of this cocktail of guilt and shame and all this fucking stories and cesspool and sinner and all this stuff builds in. So by the time I actually met you years later, like I had. I think I actually, I think I'd actually really fucked myself up, like mentally. I think I did, like in a big way. I think that you are absolutely right.

Maybe you didn't have closure.

I'm confident that I.

Neither situation.

Neither situation. And inside of that I think that that's what I brought into the cause. I remember now when we were first dating, you were far more aggressive than I was. Meaning I was like, I really like this, but I'm just like, whoa, you know, we should probably put the brakes on this. But you were just like, hey, I.

Wasn'T being that aggressive.

You were aggressive.

I was just in like wherever the moment aggressive.

In a good way.

Yeah, wherever the moment take us.

Exactly.

I was just like, all right.

So then I killed that. Is that What I'm hearing, I killed that. I actually killed this little plant.

I don't know.

I always just, like the therapist said, a little plant. I'm a giant tsunami, and I fucking killed you. That's literally what our therapist said.

What a bitch. See, I like that one. Yeah. I don't know. I just know, like, I felt like now that I'm retracing steps, I think that there was a little bit of a story even when we first got married, and it just kept building about building and then building. And like I said, I'm kind of even doing this podcast live with you guys realizing, oh, my God, maybe I even started to believe kind of a little bit of the story of who Garrett told me that I was. You know what I mean? And I was like, I don't really feel like I'm like that, but it's gotten so awkward. I don't really know how to approach it. But then, even then, I had to destroy my own story, and I had to be like, no, push past it. And I would come at him, and I would just be like, hey, let's talk about it. Or I'd initiate sex. Or I'd. You know what I mean? I had to be the one. And it was. I remember in the beginning of our marriage, too, you would always. You were always the one initiating. And then you got to the point you're like, I'm. You said this to me. You're like, I'm fucking tired of initiating. Like, you should want to have sex with me. And I'm like. And I remember thinking and feeling like, I just feel awkward at this point. I don't know how to initiate it. And now I would say if now when we do, I usually am the one to initiate it. And it's like. It's like. But I've had to, like, force it. But it puts this. It puts an interesting thing on me, too, because, like, forever, I started to believe this story is like, I'm not a sexual person. I don't initiate it. I wait for Garrett to come to me, and then I was like, no, I can't. I can't think that way. I'm not. I'm not. I don't really feel like I'm like that. So then I started breaking through my own story of, like, hey, no, I. I need to initiate, and I need to, like, have fun with it, and I need to loosen up and I need to let go, you know, kind of thing.

The thing is crazy, as I'm sitting here, as I'm Realizing that, you know, my story was so strong that. And I think it just dealt with, like, just from my first marriage, like, my story was so strong that my story started to convert you to my story, and you started to believe the story at the same time. Like, question I have for you as you're listening to the show is like, what is your sexual story? And I'm not talking to the ladies. I'm talking to the guys right now. Like, what is your sexual story? Right? I mean, there's guys I know who are significantly not fit and do not have tremendous success in business, but when it comes to sex, they're complete. Like, they're just comfortable as shit. And I have this. Like, I'm more comfortable getting into fights, making money, doing shit. It was weird. Like, sex for me had become, as a married man, such a problematic experience. And it was wrapped with so much pain. And it was interesting. I remember having sex, and I would be in this weird place of joy and panic at the same time when we were dying. Panic because I didn't know if it was gonna come back for weeks. And then pleasure, because I was, like, cool. It just happened. But then, like, panic and was this weird place where I, like, I would almost sabotage having sex because I didn't want to have to go through the pain of wondering when it would happen again. And I also started withdrawing from the conversation. But you weren't approaching. Cause I had made it super weird for years, so there was kind of this. This thing going on in the middle. So I think the therapy did far more for us than you ever imagined.

All right?

And we went to therapy before. Not just about sex. We went to therapy just to get our feelings out. I think you started communicating a lot better. You weren't studying astrology back, you know, a couple years back.

You really, like. You're, like, excited that I'm just reading or what?

You're reading. I'm so excited you're reading. No, I'm just. I'm excited that you're studying about yourself, though. Like, you've. You've learned about yourself according. Like, listen to this. Look. Look at what you've learned. Like, from last week's show to this week's show. You were studying. You were studying astrology, and you started studying the topics of. Even how you operate as a. I.

Mean, I'm trying not to give, like, so much credit to astrology, but it just kind of made me, like, be like, oh, yeah, that kind of hits.

Okay, well, what did it tell you about yourself sexually? Because you were saying this. Like, you told it to me in therapy, but it was also saying things to you.

Last week, it said that it will.

Like, you have it on your phone right now.

I don't. I mean, it was. I've been reading, like, multiple websites. I get, like, sucked into the vortex, and then I start Googling, and next thing, you. Most people, when they're on social media at night, I'm literally Googling shit or shopping, and I get sucked into these weird vortexes, and I either end up with three pairs of shoes or information about astrology.

Information about astrology.

So, yeah, what did you ask me?

So inside of knowing about yourself from astrology, what did you find out about yourself sexually?

It said from everything that I'd gathered that Taurus.

I'm gonna give you a clue on this because you taught me something from the astrology chart that is true about me too, but I haven't told you this. I'm gonna tell you live right here.

Okay. I'm excited.

And it's. It's not actually that I'm very large in stature, if you know what I'm talking about.

Is that, like, the awkward side of Garrett coming out and making Juggle it or.

No, let's go. Here we go.

So I was just like. It was saying that Taurus women tend to be very sensual. Like, we actually enjoy being touched. And, like, we literally could, like, hang out on the couch all day. Like, we're hard working, but at the same time, we can, like, sit and relax. And, like, we don't necessarily have to be, like, talking, but we could just, like, cuddle and, like, like, like. So then I was like, what is he talking about? And I was, like, realizing. I was like, yeah, I actually do like to cuddle, like, at night. Even if Garrett and I weren't, like, engaging in a stimulating conversation, like, even if we were on our phones working on stuff, or even if we were, like, just sitting on the couch watching a show. Like, I. And I said this in our last show. I'm like. I like to kind of have, like, my hands on him. I like to be, like, in contact. I. I don't know why. I just. And I'm like that with my girls, too. Like, I, like, climb in bed with them in the morning, and I just squeeze them, and they're like, mom. And I'm like, shh.

Stop it.

And so I was like, I do. I love in the morning. Like, I'm very. I'd say I'm pretty snuggly in the morning for some Reason. But you are. You wouldn't know that because you get up at 4:30 and I get up at 7.

I know, I know. Like, you want to cuddle in the morning and I want to go in the ocean.

Hey, you know what?

What?

If you could commit to cuddling twice a week, you would for sure get laid. I'm just gonna put it out there.

Well, I should get laid already.

Like, we're doing good, but even more so.

Even more. Get laid.

Yeah.

Like four times week, maybe.

But you've never tested that theory. So anyway. But yeah, I was just like, this.

Is going to tie into my astrology. You're going to hear in a second.

So that's all I really learned about myself. And then it also said specifically in bed, because I went on this one website that was specifically for women and in bed. And it was like. Because Garrett always makes it sound like I'm kind of boring in bed. I was like, I don't feel like I'm boring. I just like to take my time and enjoy it and whatever. And it was saying that Taurus, like, they may. They may not be like, they. They're very good with, like, just traditional, like, keeping it, like traditional. But don't ever. It was saying, like, don't ever think that that's boring because it's something that they'll always enjoy and they'll always go back to you so you don't have to worry about, like, we need to change it up. She's bored. She needs to do this and this because it's like, they'll always, like, appreciate a good thing. So that's what I got out of it.

We've got our positions.

That's what I got out of it is like, you like. Because I kind of am routine, I would say in the bedroom, like, I'm like, oh, and I'll change it up every now and again because I know you like it. And even when I was reading about you, it says, like, Gemini is like, change and variety. And they like Quickies. And I was like, okay. I feel like I'm really. I'm going out of my way to do the Quickies. And I definitely feel like I'm trying to spice it up a little bit, you know? So anyway, that's what I learned about myself. I was like, that makes sense. Because I thought I was like, you're always worried about, like, trying new things and positions, and I'm always like, babe, I really like it. Just like the standard, like, this is really good for me. So, I mean, I'M open to trying new things, but this never gets old. Like, a good thing never gets old.

Wow. All right. Now, you also taught me some things about bisexuality from the astrology charts.

Your sexuality. I thought you said bisexuality for a second.

Teach me about my bisexuality. That'd be.

I would reject that immediately.

You're like, yeah, I just read astrology and you are bisexual. I'm like, well, I appreciate that info, but I reject your data. All right, continue through here with this. So you started studying about me.

Okay.

And the change upside is where quickie, quickie porn star came from. Like, you really were, like, already on the astrology bandwagon even before you were on astrology bandwidth. You realize you need to change that for the Gemini.

Yeah.

Okay. Now, on top of this, you also said something interesting, which is you said that I want to.

That's why I just want to point this out. That's why sometimes when you're getting ready, I'll come in. I'm like, hey. And you're like, really? I'm like, yeah. Because I know, like, the atmosphere and the time of day for you. You're like, this is awesome. And even though I'm like, I'm not really that into it, like, I know that it's just out of the ordinary, and that's what you like. And so I'm like, that's fine.

7:15 on a Saturday morning. Why not?

And the kids are playing downstairs, and we literally have five minutes, and the.

Chair is sitting right there for me.

I'm like, eh. I don't get anything out of that. Like, I'm like, you gotta wine and dine me, and I'm gonna take my time, and that's what's good for me. But, like, for you, like, you're easier. So I should just succumb to that more often. I'm like, this can take me three minutes. I take, like, 30. So, yes. I mean, you are easy.

I'm so easy. I'm like, I'm losing.

Okay, tell me what you learned about yourself.

Here's the thing, though. You started sharing this with me inside of what you were studying, and you said that you are good with some quickies, and you are also. You do want to change it up, but that sex itself is not enough.

Oh, yeah, you are.

It's not enough. Tell us some more about what you discovered about me, because then I'm gonna tell some truth about myself, and we're gonna work through some shit right now.

Okay. It was just saying, like, a gem night is like, they don't want just good sex. Like, they want to be stimulated, like, more mentally than anything else. Like, they want a challenging conversation. Communication is huge for them. And. And it. That. Yeah, that's what I said. Like. Like, that's what. Part of your needs of being met is communication. That's really strong.

I'm literally having orgasm right now.

I know. It's funny. Sometimes you'll look at me, like, when I'm, like, on fire, and I'm, like, preaching. I'm, like, really into it. And he'll look at me with these, like, googly eyes. Like, he's, like, in my heart, he's like, you couldn't be hotter. And I'm like, oh, my God. I'm like, okay.

Oh. But I didn't understand any of this. Like, you had. You brought this to my awareness.

I think that's what kept us alive, because I was mentally. Even when sex wasn't great, I think I was mentally stimulating you more than form of balance than anything else or anyone else in your world could. And even though you fucking hated it.

It turned you on for sure. Like, there's a piece inside of. There's a phrase I use. I was like, I love to loathe and love to and loathe to love My wife and I would share this at events and people like, what are you talking about? I said, there are pieces about my wife that pissed me off so bad. Now, I'm not saying that I don't have a whole bunch of those pieces for Danielle, too, but I also love those pieces of her. The stuff that pisses me off actually keeps me connected. And then the flip side of that, there's this loathing piece of loving when I'm so fucking angry, realizing the thing I'm angry about is actually the reason why we're together. And so getting into this space of just colliding with Danielle over sex and over and over and over again, I was after something more. What I was actually after is what we get to experience here on this show. It's very fun for me. It's like doing the podcast with you was like having sex more play. It's not even that it's like having sex. There were three emotional experiences I'm having the last week. I can't make the announcement because there's an announcement we're going to make sometimes, but there's this thing that happened, and we'll make an announcement about that sometime. But there's these other two things, which is having sex and then also just doing we did the podcast for some reason, the last one was so much fun. We had sex that night and we laid down and we're talking and we're almost like forehead to forehead kind of talking and holding hands while after sex and just laying there. And we fell asleep. And I'm lying there as I'm falling asleep and I'm thinking, this is a complete day. And yet the thing at the bottom of the list that was like, don't take this wrong, like, this does not mean I don't wanna have sex, but. But what I am saying is, like, I had so much fun with you as a person and as my partner that it was actually some level more stimulating than even, like, quickie sex. Like a quickie pales in comparison to a super fun, challenging, intellectual, very, very back and forth conversation.

I think you thought it was just about the sex.

It's what I'm getting to.

You even told me you were like, if I could have sex every day, then I still think we should test this. I know, but for years you told me, like, if we just had sex every day, I would be happy. And I was like, you're fucking lying to yourself.

I was obviously lying to myself. I had no idea, though. So I've investigated. You think I'm not paying attention, but I am paying attention. You're sharing these things with me. And I'm then thinking about it myself and I'm like, what do I actually want more? Do I actually want penis and vagina? Is that like what I really, really want? And I'm like, yes, of course. I want some of that connection big time. But then I'm like, what do I really want? Do I want to see my wife walking around? You know, the better visual image, which is interesting, the better visual image for me is you and bathroom brushing your teeth with a thong on. Like, that for me is like good content. Like it's in my brain. And I'm like, yes, for long periods of time.

I will just say, when you pull your underwear up, that's bad, bad content. I'm actually gonna tell you to not do that because literally I'll be like, oh, go away, go away, go away.

Oh, man, our mics are blowing out.

And don't. Don't send your. If you're a guy, don't send your wife bad selfies. I'm sorry, like, you, I know you don't know how to take a selfie, but just. Then don't send her wife.

Bell, have I sent you some bad selfies?

Yeah, one time you Took your beard, and you, like. You, like, made it look like it was eating your face. And then you did some weird, tard face. And I was like, sorry if you're offended by that comment. But, yeah, I was just like, I can't erase that from my mind.

I can't erase that.

I guess it was like something you send to your dude buddies, not to your wife.

Oh, I guess it'd be like a picture of you, like, you know, taking a shit or something.

I'm like, look, honey, I'm wiping you. Like that angle. You're gonna get it tonight. Haven't had a wax in a few weeks. Too far. Sorry. Now everybody on this podcast is like, oh, God, I can't look at Danielle ever the same.

Oh, shit. Oh, my God. I'm laughing my ass off right now. Okay, all right. So we come back. Come back to my realization here. So we're also got a key tip here of the show. Don't send shitty images to your wife or husband that will stay in their brain forever. Encourage the good ones. So here's the thing I got from this babe. What I got from this was that I have been living a lie. I have been living a lie. The lie that I've been living, you've been trying to expose me to. But underneath that lie, I found the truth. Would you like to know the lie and the truth?

Sure.

The lie is that what I wanted was somebody just to have sex with every day. Meaning. That's kind of how my mind had gotten. I had gotten so disrespectful as a husband. I was just like, listen, I need a vagina. We are married. Your vagina is mine.

I bet a lot of men. I bet a lot of men feel like that towards their wives, and it devalues the actual qualities that they want and need to create fulfillment in them, and they devalue those qualities in themselves and look at their wives as objects. And so I.

Did you ever feel like an object?

Yeah, all the time. I was like, he fucking thinks he wants to get laid. Like, you better give me more credit than just a good piece of ass. I'm sorry, but, like. Like, that's not gonna be fulfilling for you. And to me, I was like, I'm sorry, but I'm, like, confident. I'm independent. Like, I feel like I'm a very sexy woman. And so I'm like, you better give me more credit than just, like, the way I look and having sex with me. Cause that's not gonna work. And I think you did. But it's like, you didn't know that about yourself.

Well, again, I think it's because. Do you remember we'd sit there and I was like, you know, I want to end this fantasy. I remember there was. I was actually sitting with a couple of my friends one time, and I was having a talk with them, and I said, you know, I want to end the fantasy. And, like, what do you mean, I want to end the fantasy? My mind is linked up to this story that if I had lots of sex all the time, that I would be happier. Now, I'm not foolish enough to believe at this point in the game for myself that more money or more anything is going to make you more happy. If you are not connected to what is true inside of yourself, it doesn't matter what you get more of. Like, shit's not going to turn around. So I had this story, this fantasy. If I have more sex, then I would be more happy. When Danielle, for some reason, she shifted. Now, she downplays how much therapy happened and what it did, but there were some major shifts in therapy for us that completely changed her and I, and if affected us sexually, and it took us to a whole nother place of comfort sexually. Like, that just was more open. Now I'm acknowledging I probably still have some awkwardness around it and trying to deal with the residual fatigue of 20 years of, like, fucking myself up in my own head about it. I mean, I didn't get. I didn't have the experience as a guy who, you know, where I was single on Tinder and running around with, like, three different girls every weekend. Like, a lot of guys I know in their 30s and 40s are getting divorced. Women, too. They're hitting the bumble. Men are hitting Tinder. Guys run the bumblebee. I got text messages today from a single guy's divorce. I'm just like, hey, dude, it's going so well. I'm like, bro, I get all that. But your advice, all your counsel is not helping me because I'm a married man, and I'm playing a different game than what you're playing. So as I'm sitting here and I'm recognizing, though for myself, what I actually wanted beyond that was to dispel the fantasy, and I needed to. And the greatest lie that I was living was that a lot more sex was going to make us a lot more happy. But what really made us happy and what really changed the game and also exploded our sex life was the connection to truth. And that was hard. That was hard as a Couple to be honest with each other. That was hard to get through a lot of the shit that we've gone through. We fought through a lot of very painful times as a couple and had to unravel a lot of lies about ourselves. Stories that we were telling that just were getting in the way. What was the biggest story I'm gonna tell? I've shared my big story. What was the big story you had to get rid of? And you can't ask me a question for what's your second biggest story?

Well, my story fed into your story. Like, I started to believe the story, too. And then just, like, how we were raised, I'm like, I'm not really like that, but I like when I kind of, like, think back to how I feel and how I am. It was like I wanted all these things, but somebody else was not somebody else's. Myself too. And what I was around and religion and whatnot and just kept stifling the way I wanted to, like, come out and be like, I. Like, it was like, telling me not to be me. I was like, okay, it's like, wrong, wrong, wrong. And then I get married, and I'm still told wrong, wrong, wrong. And I was just like, I don't fucking know. I'm just gonna, like, I'm survive, survive.

And that was kind of the mode that we both went to into, like, this survival mode. And so, like, there's this challenge that I'm gonna give you as a couple and as individuals that on the show is like, what. What if your story is actually your biggest problem? What if it's a story about yourself or the story about your wife? Right? Like, I had a story. Do you know what? I'm gonna be really vulnerable about one of my stories.

What? Can I just say something about stories and why I think people stick to the same stories?

Okay, go for it.

And actually, this was actually something I learned at Tony's Date With Destiny when we went a couple years ago, because I was like, why do people stick to the same story? Like, if you have a story that's not serving you, why do you stick to that? And then he kind of. And I. I don't know if that. This is, like, exactly how he teaches it, but he was, like, saying, because it's validating some other needs. Like, by telling this story, it's validating these other needs that you think you need met. So, like, by telling yourself a story of, like, I can be a sexual victim or I can be this or whatever in the relationship, then, like, it validates some other. Some other emotion, I guess, is how they teach it or something. It's validating something else, you know? Otherwise, we wouldn't hold on to these stories. And when they explained it like that, I was like, oh, that makes sense. And so then I had to, like, reframe. And whenever I was trying to recreate my story or trying to break the story, I was like, what emotional need am I feeding by holding onto this story? Do you know what I mean?

Yes.

And for me, and this doesn't have to deal with sex, but I have a little bit of anxiety. And when I would go back to stories, I'd be like, oh, I'm feeding this need of anxiety. Of, like. Like, I. Like, I'm not feeling safe and feeling this way, because then I feel like it's almost like I have an excuse to live here and retrain my story. Because then all of a sudden, what would I do if I don't have anxiety?

Right?

What would he.

What?

You know what I mean? And I was like, obviously. What? Yeah, what would I do? And I was like, so it's just interesting when I would think about things on that aspect of, like, changing your.

Story with me and you as a couple. Like, I didn't know who I would be in a relationship with you if we weren't having anxiety and stress and fight about sex.

I thought I was like, well, like, literally, I was like, well. So I was in this fearful place of like, well, I mean, this is our story. But if we have a new story, does that mean a new story with somebody else? I think that's kind of what I thought.

Me, too. We had gotten to a point where our stories had become such intensity with us that it was almost easier in both of our minds. Getting to a place. It just seemed easier just to burn a story, burn a relationship, and then just try again with somebody else. But the crazy part was, guess what? We would have took with us.

Us, the same story. And I bet people do not do that in life.

Yeah, I watch it. I watch guys get divorced. We run Wake Up Warrior. I've watched thousands of guys come through our programs. We watch guys get divorced. They don't change the story. They have a good time. About six to eight months on Tinder, and they have, like, more sex in six to nine months on Tinder as a single man after 15, 20 years.

Searching for the same thing, well, they.

Have a blast for about six to seven months. Months. And they probably. And you'll get guys who've been married with one person had sex with one person and they end up having sex with 25 people over a six to nine month time period. They're out every other night and they're literally just chasing vagina for six to eight months. But they get at the end of that six to eight months as a divorced guy, and then the dust settles and the sex becomes horribly unfulfilling. They're spending way too much money and the reality of divorce sets in. And then they're left with this reality that they're still fucking like this. This reality hits them of I haven't actually changed. Like, my story didn't change. You and I came to that in terms and didn't get divorced because of that one single breakthrough, which was you had an insight inside of yourself. And you had an insight when you and I were like, put it on the line. And was like, dude, maybe like, we just need to be done with this. And we were making steps towards divorce. We were making steps towards being done. And you came to a realization inside of yourself that it wouldn't. I you. Things might be easier with somebody else.

But I always. I just knew that from the beginning. I think the minute we started having issues, I think I even remember thinking like the very first fight we had, I literally remember thinking that I was like. Because I was contemplating my head, okay, I like, I was like, okay, if I found somebody else and I got married and this. And I. It was almost like I had a crazy, like a flash where it was like, Danielle, like, you could marry somebody who's totally different than Garrett, but that if. If you're. You'll still. You'll just. What problems you have here, you'll just create new problems with a new person. So it's like, you have to figure it out here. You know what I mean? And I think I kind of like thought that early on. And I was like. Because I've seen. And I've. Even as we've gotten older and we've had friends go through divorces and things like that. There's. There's, you know, some that they. They get remarried and they're totally happy and maybe they create a whole new story together. And then you, like you said, there's some you see that get divorced and then get remarried, and then like, they're happy for a minute and then they're in the same story. So I don't know, I just think it's such a personal and individual basis. But for me, I was like, okay, well, even if it didn't work out with us, like, I've got to take accountability. Like, I don't want to have history repeat in this aspect because then I'm not really learning anything, and then I'm stuck right back in the same situation. And I thought so. And honestly, too, for me, I think my story in the beginning was I was super dependent on, like, having a husband just take care of me. And when I shattered that story and I was like, fuck it. I don't know if I want to be married to him, but I don't know if I want to be married at all, I learned how to. To take back the control in my life and not, like, live my life for anybody else, but, like, live my life for me and create my own story and create my business and my success based on who I wanted to be and not be dependent or accountable on anybody else. And not to say I got to this place in our relationship where I'm like, yes, I want you to take care of me. Like, I. I know how to take care of myself, and I'm glad I, like, got to that place and that realization with myself. But I also was like, I. I want to put away the man shoes, and I want to be the wife, and I want you to be the man, and I want you to be the husband. And I. And. And then. But also, too, with me going through that transition, I think we. You had. We had a lot more respect for one another, and we could have better communication, and we could have better sex, and we could. We could kind of rise and Together at the same level, I guess you could say. But I just think it's important not to. Yeah. Not to get stuck. I mean, if something didn't work out, you have to take some accountability at some level. Like, even if your wife fucking cheated on you, I don't care, dude. Like, what did you. Why did that situation happen? Like, don't be that entitled asshole that thinks, like, she. Like that you're the victim. Like, clearly you did something and you played a role in the relationship. So take accountability for that. And if you could work it out with that individual person, good for you. And if you can't, don't take that into your next relationship and figure out how to be a better person. You know what I mean? And same goes vice versa.

Yeah. Well done.

Okay.

Okay, so I'm gonna share one thing.

All right, you ready? I sometimes get lost.

No, you didn't get lost at all. It was beautiful. It was wonderful. None. So on the topic of stories, there was another story I was telling myself that actually Created a lot of drama for me. So watch how this happens. So for my first marriage, for two years, divorce, chaos, shit show, 15 year old. The thing continues to push. I've got all this sexual anxiety. This sexual anxiety led to one big challenge for me, which was we weren't having sex a lot when we did. There was a lot of anxiety around it. There was a lot of stress around it, a lot of pressure on me, and I could not last.

You couldn't last?

I couldn't last.

Like, sexually. You couldn't last?

Yeah, I couldn't last sexually.

Oh, I didn't know.

Like, I was like, saying, like, I would have a quick orgasm, like, within like a minute. And I was like, I was, like, stressed out about this so bad that it actually added to the confusion. And so I would end up distancing myself from all of the game because I was so stressed out. Because even if I did get in this situation, I was so stressed out that it wasn't gonna last very long because I couldn't, like, last very long. And I didn't know how to last long because I had so much anxiety about all this shit and so many stories. So I would end up getting this place where she's like, fuck it. Like, I would start to distance myself from the game completely. Yet I wanted it. Yet I would do this shit to completely fuck the game up.

I like a combination of like, this. This may not. This may not have anything to do, but I like the combination. For a girl, like, specifically in bed.

Yes.

It's like you care, but you don't care. Like, you worry about you.

Yes.

Like, you put in the effort in the beginning.

This ties right in. I'm gonna link it.

Okay. Because in the beginning, I think girls need. At least I do. I need a little more wine and dine. And, like, I'm not like. I think guys, you. I could literally, like, jump on your lap and you'd be like, yeah, let's do this.

I'd say, no. I'd be like, no. Okay. Yes.

Well, it wouldn't take a lot of convincing. Brushing your teeth in your underwear. Like, again, like, you're like, wow, let's do this. Whereas girls, we need a little bit more time. There's some times where like, Like, I can be quicker, but for the majority of the time, girls need a little bit more.

More time, a little more motivation.

Yeah. So I would just say a little more stimulation. Yeah.

I do not. I have the opposite problem.

So I was just gonna say, like, in bed. My advice to guys From a girl's perspective is like, care, but don't care too much. Because there had been times where I'd be like, garrett, worry about your fucking self. Because I'd be so stressed out that he was trying to help me out.

Do you know why? Do you know why I was doing this?

I was just like, oh, my God, I'm doing it.

Do you know why I was doing this?

All I need is care in the. That's all I can do.

But do you know why I was doing this? Because I was so stressed out, I wasn't gonna last very long.

Oh.

So then I would put all this energy and attention into you because I was like, shit. I was like, if we go straight. If I straight go after it right now. Then you had a game that if I had already gone, then you were like, oh, you're already gone. And then I was like, fuck, I already gone. And so it created this weird game where I would try to pour into you so that I could delay the time where I had to deploy the.

Assets just a little bit. You just need it just a little bit.

Well, I figured that out.

Yes. Because sometimes I'd be like. I'd be like, well, I'm done. I'm not really that into him. Like, I wouldn't be. It's not that I wasn't into you, but it just. It's. It's different. Obviously, for a girl, if you're a party, you're like, I'm good. So it's like you just want to take her there just a little bit and then worry about yourself. That's all I'm gonna say.

Well, do you wanna know how I figured it out?

Okay.

All right. So I figured out the following. I figured out that I did not have a curse. I have figured out that I actually had a gift.

Oh, that's where you're going?

Yes. Do you know what my gift is? I'm a goddamn assault rifle. I am not like a one shot pistol. What I'm saying is, like, I can.

Literally go, no, sometimes you can't.

Twice.

Sometimes you can't.

So. Well, there's been a few times.

Sometimes I'm like, you fucker. You're greedy. Weren't you? I'm like, this is taking way too long. Like, come on. You're like, I already went once. And I'm like, God damn it, Garrett.

But you went.

I know, but sometimes I'm like, gosh, I'm ready. I'm ready. Let's do this. And I'm like, you fucker. You already win.

Yes, it has happened, but those were usually on the greedy going for a third round.

Oh, my God.

So my point being is this. Like, our sex life got a lot better because of telling the truth. I had to look at myself and say, what if the fact that I am a quick draw McGraw, what if this is not actually a curse? What if I got some other gifts behind this? What if I got two rounds in the chamber? So I started testing it, and if you think back what you are right now, what ends up happening is that you're wondering now. You're like, shit. There's some nights you're like, man, Garrett, how did you go so long? Well, my round two has got some endurance. My round one, he just wants to let everybody know that he's at the party. He's like, hey, everybody, just so you fucking know, I'm at the party. He's the guy that rolls into the party. He takes 19 shots in two minutes and passes out.

I just want one good round. I don't need three medium rounds.

Well, I wanted one good round too. I just found out that my good round is round two. It's not round one.

There you go. There's your advice, guys.

How are you feeling about me telling you this right now?

I already knew that. No, I knew.

We've talked about it. You knew.

No, I already knew, like I said, because I'd be like, you already went, huh? And you're like, no, I'm like, I'm not gonna go too far on this show. But I'd be like, I would suggest otherwise. It's like a slip and slide in here. So I'm gonna say, Okay, sorry, too far. Again, I love that you're throwing us.

Like, straight off the ledge here. You're like, what?

Cause every married couple in here got a visual and they're like, it's like a slippery slide.

Oh, my God. There you go. There you go. I mean, I would love to see another couple in the couple space training on marriage, competing at the level of truth that we are willing to throw.

Qqp, we have the slip and slide. And for any other sexual tactics you'd like, tune in weekly.

Tune in weekly. We got ttf, qqp. And we have the slip, a slide of plaque, and we have the two rounds, two round guy strategy. You know, you might be a two round guy. As we kind of wrap up the show, here's the point I want to get to. Whether you're a two round shit, maybe you're a five round guy. I've tested the three round guy and one time I've accomplished the top of the mountain three round guy.

We had had been.

We had been drinking quite a bit. It had been going a long time.

I press. You go three times while drinking.

Yes. And like backing away from this, though, what opened up all of this possibility for us was a shifting of stories. Stories like that's it. Like there was a lot of action and collision that had to happen. But the action and collision were really a pursuit of truth underneath the surface of all the lies that we were telling. And the lies that we were telling came in two forms, which was the blatant lies we were telling. But then more than that was the stories that we started to believe. And I want you to see inside of this episode that your stories are powerful enough to convert your husband or wife to believe. So whatever story it is that you're telling, you actually have the power to convert them to believe shit about themselves that is not true. True. And Danielle and I have talked about this today and we've laid down some tracks for you to be able to have a conversation that hopefully is a little bit different. I hope that throwing ourselves under the bus here on this show is leading to you getting to have better conversations with your husband or wife. Use us as an example. The Wake Up Warrior movement was built to support men, but the Wake Up Warrior movement is ultimately built to support marriage and family. This is why it was built. The only dilemma we had was that men were so ridiculous, me included, so ridiculous that we needed specific programs just for men so the men could actually fucking get it. So there was even a chance inside of the marriage for the marriage itself to turn around. Stubborn women are actually easier to break than very stubborn men. Stubborn men just get ridiculous. They'd be just stupid. And I know because I was one of them. And this show itself is about broadcasting not just the idea of change, but about broadcasting the warrior's way message. Now, Danielle, you've gotten to see the impact of this inside of Warrior. You've come to our events, you've been able to stand inside of our conventions and see hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of men at the same time. I think, because what do you see from this, from your perspective? It's also part of the purpose behind us doing this show.

I think that because you were trying to figure out me for so long that you were like, you just, just started to incorporate it into the whole Warrior message was like how to communicate because communication, again is so strong for you. And it's Maybe not a lot of men's strong suits, but maybe some it is. But for you, it is. And I think that if you can figure out the communication game as a couple, then I think that it can help, like, in many areas across the board, inside of your relationship. And so I know for you and I, like, our communication has always been somewhat decent. Even though we've had. Had. Even though you're like, oh, it's hard to talk about, I still think we don't give ourselves enough credit for how much we are willing to talk about.

Right.

And so I think that as you. As you were figuring out things and we were figuring out things in marriage, and when you started your whole brand and your movement and everything like that, when you would figure something out, you'd be like, oh, my God, you guys. And you would take it to them, be like, you need to date your wife more. You need to do this. Like, all these stories of, like, hey, like. Like the traditional. Like, you go out once a month or you go out with friends, or you do do this. Like, you need to take her out. Oh, and then guess what? Like, maybe you should take her flowers for no reason. Or, you know, it was just, like, little things that we were implementing. And it's so interesting because as we grow as individuals, and I think that's even why we do this show, because it helps us grow as a couple for sure. Then it's like, something that you can, like, we'll have, like, moments on these shows. We're like, yeah, that was so cool. And then it's like, you'll pay it forward or you'll share it with your men, and then they share it with their wives. And. And it's like. But I think in the warriors thing, it was like, it was always coming from your perspective. So this is what's really cool about being on the show, is that I'm sure a lot of the warrior men listen to this, and I get a lot of messages from people are like, oh, we listened to it as a couple is so great, because now you're hearing the other side of the story, and hopefully that you guys are hearing some things. And even though we can joke around about a slip and slide and whatever else, like, hopefully, hopefully you're. You're getting a lot of, like, value. But we're also not just, like, being like, hey, we're gonna teach you these tactics. And this is.

We're like, hey, here are the three simple steps to a marriage.

Sometimes we're literally on the show discovering stuff about ourselves. And it's. And hopefully you guys are hearing that and it seems real and it seems raw and you take what you're hearing and you apply it. Because I think oftentimes somebody can give you a checklist of things to do, but it doesn't work if you're not willing to kind of change your mindset and go into it in a different perspective. And then I think both having both of our perspectives on the show, hopefully you guys get a ton of value out of it and understanding that you're not, you don't need to be perfect. You just have to be willing to learn and grow and figure things out.

Out the end. So we're going to wrap this show up with the final message. Is this your date night? Topic of the week is your sexual story. And what is your sexual story? And we're going to encourage you to have that talk with your spouse. What is the story? Or at least to go as far as to have that investigation in yourself and share with your spouse, not asking them what their story is, but sharing with them what your sexual story is and then being able to consider that maybe your sexual story is the problem, that it's not your partner and it's not the situation you're in. And say you have a story that is not working, it is a story that is broken. And, and there are tools that we have created coming up this year, The Stackbook and Core4. The book will be available to the marketplace to men and women. But for now, for men, there's a powerful tool we use called the Stack. It's a tool that I use that ultimately changed the way that I think it changed the way I operate. We created Inside of the Warrior book and I'd love to give you and encourage you to take that step forward if you haven't hear from the show, even if the only reason you're doing it is to go find power so that you can have more sex and connection inside your relationship. You can do this by heading over to warriorbook.com, make $100 investment. We'd love to ship that book. It's a manual, 535 pages to teach you the soup to nuts game of the code, the stack, the core, the keys, the game across the board and in 10,000 plus men in 27 countries all living this belief system at the same time. Check it out. Hopefully it fits for you too. We hope it does. We hope you got joy and pleasure from this show, literally from listening and we look forward to having you next week. Next week, we're going to be into the topic of money and we're going to bring this show back to you here as we discuss money and we also discuss spending money, which will be our topic next week. So until next week, again, if you want all the video show notes, tips and tricks, you can head to dateyourwifenow.com and you can pick them up there. Otherwise, we'd love to have you subscribe, give us a review on itunes, Google Play, Stitcher, SoundCloud, and soon coming to Spotify. Until then, until next week. You guys have a great week.