Tequila, Tithing, & Framing Money Like You Want to Get Laid | Date Your Wife | EP 113

All right, here we go. Welcome to this week's date your Way podcast. My name is Garrett J. White. I am your co host here in this amazing podcasting program. Co ho ho ho. Speaking of which, Isla says that about her Christmas jammies. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. This is what she asked for. She asked for the ho, ho, ho jammies. So, like, she wants to wear the Christmas jammies, which I let her wear the Christmas jammies, including the elf jammies last night, because I always know when.

You put her to bed. Because I'm like, why is she in, like, too small of Christmas jammies?

No, no, no, they're not too small. They are right size. They're gon too small in the next two months.

Yeah, I know. And then I'm like, do I know? Is laundry need to be done? What's going on?

But nope, doesn't need to be done. She just asked for the Christmas jam. She says, daddy, I want a ho ho ho.

She's so cute. This morning I took her. So I built out this, like, gym in our house, and I bought a Smith machine, which apparently Parker thinks she can.

Apparently, my son thinks that you can't work out on a Smith machine.

Dude, I bought a Smith machine just to grow my glutes. Anyways, Isla comes downstairs. She's. She's working out with us. She has, like, my. My booty band, and she's putting it on her head. So I finally show her how to put it on, and she was so cute. She was, like, legit doing, like, these air squ with a booty band on. I was like, oh, yeah.

Like, oh, Bill. She's probably the. The best. The best nutrition of any of our children has been given to that child.

She's.

She eats chicken, fish, rice, broccoli, asparagus, chocolate.

You know, it's so funny. I used to never cook. And then when I started training for my bikini competition last year, it's not that I started cooking. I just started grilling a lot. Like, you have to eat so much protein, and then you always put it with, like, a carbohydrate. Usually, like rice or sweet potato or pretty much rice. I eat so much rice, and I just started. Garrett thinks I'm, like, the best cook ever. And all I did is I literally buy turkey meat. I buy chicken, and I buy tilapia. I buy three things of meat, but I change it up sometimes. I'm like, do you guys want burrito bowls? I'm like, do you want fish and asparagus?

Do you want it with rice. Do you want it with tortillas?

Yeah, I have like. So I feel like. I feel like if you split, prepare one protein, but then you have like multiple carbs and multiple veggies, it's like a smorgasbord.

It is a smorgasbord.

But I feel like what would happen is like I. We would. We would both like work or I'd just be tired and I'd feed my kids like Mac and cheese or top ramen or quesadilla. And then I would just like nibble them whatever they were eating. And then Garrett would come home and he'd be like, what's for dinner? And I'm like, I had half a bowl of Mac and cheese. And then you would end up like microwaving. Like I'd buy Lean Cuisines all the time. Which now sounds so gross.

Disgusting now.

But I just was like, so I just didn't care.

I would eat three of them.

You would eat all these Lean Cuisines.

But it was bad. It was like how many calories in these? I would eat one. I'm like, I ate a Lean Cuisine, I'm fucking starving. You're like, well, because that's 200 calories. Like, fine, then I'll eat three. So I like microwave punch. Microwave, microwave. And it was, you know, it wasn't, it wasn't the best. It wasn't the best.

You know, it's so funny. Like I feel like I. We actually spend more money on food with how much like food I'm making. I swear I do go to the grocery store like three. I don't go. I order the groceries like three times a week.

We eat a lot of. We eat a lot of real food. And we have a growing son who into getting muscle. So he eats shitloads of food too.

Like he. He's got his own place. And then one day he comes over and he's like got all these groceries and he's got like all. He just got a bunch of stuff and he starts cooking down. I was like, dude, you can eat our food. I don't care. And I didn't realize how much he eats. I was like, woo. I was like, I gotta go to the grocery store like three times a week.

We go through some serious chicken, serious rice, serious. You know what though? I remember being the same with my parents. I just didn't have like nice chicken.

Well, the guy only had three girls. And all of a sudden I had like a grown man child in my house. And I was like, I swear he Eats more than you do.

Of course he does. He's in the gains. He's trying to put on the big muscles. I'm like, just trying to stay lean and mean and sexy. Surfing.

I have been trying to put on the gains, and it's hard. It's hard to do. I want to do another show in June.

All right.

And it's hard as a girl because, like, I just. There's something. And I was telling you, we were talking about this the other day. You're like, I think you look better fuller. And I'm like, I think I look better fuller, too, but you look good full. But there's something about, like, just having a six pack that you just feel, like, powerful. You're just like, I'm so depleted.

Now. You've been smitten and bitten by the fitness show. So we talked about the fitness show last. We talked about sex last week. We don't have to talk about sex this week. We can talk about some different topics. Let's talk about. I'm a notice. You want to talk about sex, we talk about it again. Okay, good. So let's talk about something different. I have a different topic for us to discuss tonight, which is we're going to talk about the surprise attack with tithing.

Okay. That's what we're going to talk about, the whole show.

No, it's a principle of relationships.

Okay.

Which is this. Okay, so here's how it goes. My wife has a certain way of operating. This way of operating might say, well, how's your wife operating? I was like, well, I'll tell you how she operates. Here's the deal. My wife absolutely has zero problems. Why are you assuming that's a. That's a horrible pre frame. That's a horrible pre frame. Why would you put yourself up to feel that way?

Not always, but a lot. But a lot of times.

I like how you course corrected on that.

A lot of times, like yesterday, you're like, you need to get in the trenches with your work. You need to stop delegating. You don't do this and this and this. And I'm like, last time I checked, like, my business did really good based off of me delegating last year. So no, like, I still want to be a wife and a mom. So, like, I agree. I hear you. So tell me you're not going to be mean. Frame it up, please. A little bit sweeter.

Okay. So anyway, so I. Daniel has a way of dealing. We all do. We deal with money differently, her and I. Right. And I Believe that every man, every woman has a way of dealing with money. They deal with money, and everyone is a selective, cheap bastard about certain things and also a complete idiot in how they spend money in others. Meaning there's no limits to the amount of money they will spend in one area, while at the same time, they completely want to restrict in the other area. And it is not often that you have two people who are on the same page with it. So in our relationship, we have had a dilemma over the years, which is I did not see the value in purses and shoes.

It's not even about purses and shoes.

See, here we go. Give us a story. See, but see, to me, all it was was purses and shoes, right?

Now, what bugs me is when you choose to make, like, all, like, large investments without.

In bags and shoes. No, that's a large investment if you add up all 700 of them.

I'll give you an example. So I'm like, hey, I'm gonna buy some new furniture for our house we just got. And you're like, no, babe, we cannot. We definitely are not doing that. And I was like, really? It's really important to me. Like, we bought the house furnished, but I just want to, like, redo the front area so it feels like my home. Like, really? We can't do that. You're like, absolutely not. And then the next week, you're like, by the way, I bought my parents a home. I'm like, I'm like, well, I bought.

You a home, too. I mean, we bought a home, and then I bought my parents home.

I need you to understand when you tell me that. But then you're like, by the way. And I'm like, I'm not even saying you can't buy your parents home. Like, but you can't surprise tack me and be like, by the way. I'm like, this is a wee house. This is a wee house.

Is that how I do it, by the way?

No, that's how. That's how I imagine this.

Go down, by the way.

By the way. That's how I hear it.

All right, keep going.

Usually it's like, casually, hey.

I'm like, hey, just so you know, I bought a home from parents. All right, so what do you want for dinner? Is that how it goes?

Literally like drinking, sipping on a beer. And you're like, there's no good way to do this, by the way. Like, that's, by the way.

Bought my parents a house, by the way. What do you mean you bought your parents house? Yeah, by the way, just bought my parents house.

But here's what I'm saying is, like, you made this big deal about our new house and being like, I'm a producer and this is a wee house. And I love that you love to, like, brag. Like, not brag, but I love that you love to support that. And you're like, that's so awesome. And it is a wee house and it's great. But I. I get really frustrated when we don't make big wee decisions and it casually comes up over dinner with a fucking ipa. I'm like, I want to. We. I'm going to wear. Oh, so keep telling me about.

Okay, cool. So I'm going to keep telling you about it because. So that was one. I wasn't planning on that one. So we had another one. So my. We were raised in Mormon culture, and if you're raised in any kind of orthodoxy, relig in at least a Christian world. Tithing is something that is brought up, which is the idea of giving 10% of your net income or your profitable income to the church or to God or however that looks. So we did that for a long time. And then we left the church in 2009. We didn't go to any church. And Danielle and I got on our own path with how we look at tithing. Now I take on a few things. For example, if we are in a city and a homeless man is walking by, or we are in not a different city, we're at the target. And a family stand there playing a violin, and they're asking for money, right? I am helpless against this. I want to give them money, so. But I don't want to give them $5. I want to give them $300. So I give them dollars, hundreds of dollars. I just hand it off. And I'm not saying that a brag is just something I teach my kids. We stop, they've learned this. Danielle, on the other hand, doesn't like this.

No, you don't like this. This is what bugs me.

This is time to live by the code. But you don't like this.

This is what bugs me. This. I'm gonna live by the code.

Okay? Live by the code. Give it to us right now.

So they're like, I don't have a problem doing that. But what bugs me is like, I'll go get cash, and I might, like, have a couple hundred bucks cash. And then I'm like. I'm like, okay. You're like, babe, give me some cash. Like, cool. I'll give you like, 20 bucks. You're like, no, I want all of that cash. I'm like, fuck, you get your own cash. And you're like. And then like, in front of our kids, you're like, you don't want to give? You don't want to give to these people? I'm like, I really. I really. I really got this cash for a reason.

Do you have a problem giving?

I don't, but here's how I give. So for me and I you, this is an example, since you just threw me under the bus.

I don't throw you under the bus. I'm simply pointing out a situation.

And there's these. This. This couple there, and they're like, hey, they do photos. And they're like, hey, you know, if you take photos with us, you'd like, you don't have to pay anything. You just buy the photos you like. And I'm like, cool. Like, I love photos. I'd love to do that. So I set up a time, I cancel them, like three times. I mean, these guys are hustlers. They're like texting. They're like, we'd love to do this. We finally set up a shoot. We do this shoot. And I'm like, thinking, like, they're probably like, I don't know if they're gonna be that good. Then I go to get them all. Like, these are really good. And then they're like, let me show you our packages. And it's like $2,500. 2,000. Like 1,800. I was like, woo hoo. Smart marketing. Like, I was like, okay. And then I was like, God, I'm not gonna spend that much on photos, but good fucking hustle. And I was like, I spent $900 on photos. So the kicker is, Garrett's going down to take our luggage out. And I'm like. And I'm like, babe, can you stop by and pay the. The photo people? I don't have a card with me. When I went and, like, looked at.

All the photos, no, they came and found me.

Good for them.

Hunting me down with it. And they said, Mr. White, we're here honestly to check your wife out with their photos.

There was probably only like maybe 10 photos that I was like, I love those. But I was like, I really appreciate your guys, hustle. So I bought like an 800 package. And I was telling Garrett. I was like, to me, like, I like giving back more in that sense. Like, when I feel like somebody has. I don't know, like, for me, that's it's more fulfilling. I'm like, good hustle. Like, good job. Like, I would rather support a business in that aspect.

That.

And it's not to say that I. I wouldn't get, like, I. It's not that I wouldn't give to homeless people. It's just there was this period of time where you, like, made me feel like I was a guilt. Like, I was like, guilty or I felt guilty because I felt like you made me look like an asshole in front of our girls. Because I was like, this is my cash.

Are you a cash. Are you against homeless people?

It's kind of. There's a few people that you're against homeless people.

Are you against the white bearded guy by the gas station?

Because he just stares at me like, why don't you want to give me your money? And I'm like, because this is a full time job for you. And then I have to be like, Danielle, you don't know his story, but I don't like his energy. Like. Cause like, I'll drive by if there's, like, I'm a sucker for a mom with kids. Like, like, if she's.

Have you pulled over to the road with a mom?

If there's a mom with kids and I have cash, I'm like, here you go.

If you don't have cash, we go to the ATM and get cash.

I will not. I have a lot to do.

All right, so we have different. We have different ways of dealing with this situation. Right. I am in very free flowing with it. And I do the same business strategy, which means we've kind of had our own creative way. Both of us are paying tithing for the past, like, 12 years. We do it our own way. Do it our own way. So I go to. I go to. We go to this new church called Ocean's Church. And this is out of nowhere we decide to go. We were feeling total, like, vibey there. It's amazing. We're loving it. Pastor Mark and Michelle, like, we haven't been to any church for like 12 years, and we've gone to some church here and there, but nothing. That was like, oh, that was awesome. We want to go back. We really want to go back. So I. I'm sitting there in the front row at the church and the first week, and I feel that, you know, they give a chance for offerings. You can do it cool now from your cell phone, text message, et cetera, which is different than back in the day. And, and so, like, okay, and I send a text and, and I say, I'm going to contribute $500, but then I never complete the information. The next week we go back and I say, I'm going to. I'm going to do $1,000. And then I don't complete the information. And then I go back a third week, and there was voice inside of me sitting in the church says, give him $5,000. And I send in the text, but again, I don't complete it. Then we go to Cancun, and we're in Cancun. We're having a good time. We're paying tithing to the picture people, as Danielle just mentioned. And we come back from Cancun and go to the church again. I'm sitting there in the church and I get this message like, okay, 5,000 a week, and I don't want you to get tied up in the dollar amounts or what's happening with it. I'm like, what? So then I send the text and of course I don't do it. So I'm sitting there and I'm super frustrated, sitting in a stacking moment, which is one of the tools that we use inside the warriors way to deal with the thoughts and energy and process that. And I'm sitting in this voice inside that had been prompting me throughout all this, said simply, this said simply, hey, you didn't listen to me at 500. You didn't listen to me at 1,000. You didn't listen to me At 5,000. You're not listening to me at 5,000 a week. How much further do I have to go? I was like, oh, shit. So I get on, take my card, pay the 5,000, set up for recurring billing every week. Now, again, don't be toggled up in the money and the amounts. I'm sharing this with you. Just be very transparent with you. Now, I don't tell Danielle about any of this, right? So I'm having this moment now. Here's where a challenge and where a dilemma comes in as a couple, right? Because a part of me has an already listening. And you as a couple already have an already listening about the person you're married to, which means you kind of have a good inclination that if you say A, B and C and ask for permission, it will be a guaranteed hell no. So you find it actually easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

That is incorrect. That is incorrect because even after you initially told me, you're like, hey, I put much towards tithing. I was like, a part of me is like, well, I can't say anything because it's tithing. Like, it's a church thing. And I really like this church, too. But then I was like, I was more irritated. The fact I was.

You were pissed, though. Yeah. I don't know if you're pissed about tithing. You were just pissed. Tell me about the pissed off.

I was pissed because like, like I said pre, like literally, literally two weeks before that, you're like, I bought my parents house, while at the same time we're on vacation in a timeshare that my parents. We didn't even have to pay to be there. And you're bitching about money being spent on a vacation in which we didn't have to pay for the timeshare on, man.

I didn't. About the vacation.

Yes, you did.

Oh, I bitched about the thousand dollars in tequila that we bought.

That wasn't my fault.

You told. Little shenanigan. You stood and looked at me and you said, hey, tough guy, you're going to get this tequila.

And I was like, oh, boy, you're such a liar.

Put me out and put me in front of like all the hustlers having to show my. My true hustler status.

No, no, no. We go on a boat. And then the guy's like, do you want to do the tequila tasting? He's like, well, careful, they're sharks. And I was like, absolutely. I want to do the tequila tasting.

I thought he met real sharks. I was like, they got sharks by the tequila. How do they pull out?

I. I was relatively more sober than you and your 21 year old son. You guys were drinking on the boat?

Yeah, we didn't do that much.

So anyways, I'm like, just like sipping and actually tasting. Cause I enjoy tequila. And I'm like, oh, that's a really nice bottle. I like the smoky flavor. I'm like, sure, we'll do one of those. And then Parker's like, and then you come in, you're like, we'll do that one and that one and that one. And I knew. I'm like, these are like, expensive. And then they just marked them up so much.

This was like club status in Vegas on New Year's. So bottle service.

Typical Garrett. And I'm sorry to throw you under the bus, but I just.

Are you sorry?

I'm not.

Okay, so don't apologize. Continue.

What happens is all of a sudden we go to pay and you're in. And the guy goes. The guy goes. It'll be, what do you say, like 900 or something?

Like 900.

No, no, no, he almost went on a thousand.

I think it was a thousand straws.

Three bottles of tea. Then I go, we're not. I go, we're not paying for that. I'm like, get rid of that bottle and that bottle. And then the guy goes, I'll give you the. It was this gross banana flavor one. I was.

Who knows if Parker's even drank?

I don't know. And he's like, we'll give you the. The banana one for free. And Garrett goes, perfect, we'll take those two. And it still was, like, $600. And. And then I was. I almost felt like, no, it was still $900. I felt like I was insulting your manhood, because I was like, hell, no, we're not paying for all those. No. Like, you're gonna get like. And then you were like, perfect, we'll take. And it's almost like. I don't know if it's like a macho thing where you're like, I can pay that and I will. But then I reap the lash that night of you being, like, kind of like all like, mm, I can't believe we paid that. And I'm like, I didn't tell you to pay that. And I get a. I get fucking dickhead Garrett. And you show up and you project your. You project your feelings of being pissed that you bought that, but then in the moment, you wanted to pound yourself and say, yes, I can pay for this. And I'm like, I know. I'm gonna have a margarita and come on to you and see if this changes your attitude.

You know what? And you know what? You know what? We had great sex, and then I still didn't change my attitude.

Yeah. But then I. I.

You know what the. You know, the problem was during Cancun? The problem with Cancun was I got. I didn't do, like, 90% of my routine. I didn't take my supplements and make me less crazy. I didn't drink my greens as much. I didn't do my workouts. I didn't do, like, went in surfing. I didn't. Like, my whole week was kind of fucked up. So, like, I didn't do as well. So by the time we got to the end of eight days, which was the longest vacation I'd ever been on in my life, it was seven nights and eight days. Do your math.

Six nights.

Easy. Here. Pottery Barn class in college.

Listen, are you being rude to me?

No, I'm just talking about you and Jocelyn trying to carry your pottery into class.

That was Such a dickhead. Like, okay, pottery.

You failed math 10 in college. Yes or no?

I'm going to remind you of how much I made last year.

Yeah, well, good thing we don't need.

Math to make money.

Good job. All right, listen, so we. We. The point in all of this, as you can tell, between fucking shoes and houses and. And tequila and tithing. That's a fun podcast. Tequila and tithing. So, like, all of this is occurring. We have learned how, at some level, to just submit to the other person's insanity and actually accept it as part of the equation. So with me and with Danielle inside of our marriage, like, I came to terms with the fact she really likes the shoes and the purses. Now I am still. Still, like, it's probably better for her to purchase them away from me and just come home with them and. Because, like, I just. For whatever reason, I just have a. There's a piece of me. It's like. But if you ask me to ask to buy, like, five new iMacs for the computer for the office, I'm like, whatever.

Literally, I have to be careful about, like, unboxing something. You'd be like, oh, did you get some new shoes? I'm like, I sure did.

Well, and then you get offended when I ask you a question like, when is the last time you wore these shoes? And you're like, why are you. Why are you. Why are you judging my shoe closet?

Why do you gotta say it like, exactly?

Well, I'm just asking a simple question.

Shoe feeling somewhere else.

I'm like, have you ever worn this bag? If you look at this dress, it has a tag on it. These shoes right here. Have you ever worn any shoes? They look brand new.

I'm like, no, but guess who bought them? You did.

Well, good. And you kicked me out of the entire closet, by the way.

I know.

We moved into a new house, and I have no. I'm in a small closet on the side.

You know what, though? But here's the thing. Like, I would never make a large investment without coming to you first.

And I think, what is a large investment?

I'm. I. That's a loose question.

Well, because you. You went and made. You went and made some investments and didn't tell me.

I. No, I did tell you. I bought a gym. No, I didn't.

No, no, not that. You went and bought us rings.

Oh, well, yeah.

I mean, that was really cool, but you went and spent a significant amount of money on a ring.

Significant amount. But I.

And then you didn't talk to me about that. You just did it.

I didn't just do it. I told you.

No, you didn't tell me.

No, I told you when they were getting made and I was like, you.

Just didn't tell me how much that cost.

I told Jeff to take it out of my Isla account and my Isla account wasn't even. It was like a secret savings account because it meant a lot to me. So I did not.

So you had a good just bible for that? Well, I brought the money from my parents house out of a secret warrior wealth account with my insurance company. So there you go.

Just going nowhere.

All right, so here's the thing though. We have learned and like there is a piece inside of marriage when you get across the five stages. We talk about this at Divorce your wife dot com. You can check out the entire video there. This, this, these five stage of relationships. Seduction, strangulation, suffocation. And then you hit the gap and you gotta make a decision. The decision is, will you submit to the fact that your marriage itself, you are married to a person who is both beautiful and a bitch, who is both amazing and an asshole. Can you submit to the fact that in your relationship you were married to a person who is both extremes of these, which means they're doing things and gonna be things that are completely different than you. Right. According to the astrology charts, you and I are what we call an anomaly.

I actually think we pair really well together.

An enigma.

Well, they just say I'm a Taurus, he's a Gemini and like a purple unicorn. When you like. I'm always like looking at random stuff like that. It's like the least compatible Gemini and Taurus. I'm like, oh. But then I've also read it's like, but in a rare occasion, the stars.

In the middle of the rare equation. Yeah, exactly. That's why we're an enigma.

I was actually telling my trainer, I was like, I actually think when Garrett I. Garrett and I are on fire. And like we pair very, very well together.

Like when we come when we're conscious.

When we're conscious, when we're, when we're cohe. Like you like when we come together, like it's a pretty cool force. Like in our personal lives, in the people in our businesses. Like we come together and people are like, whoa.

But I mean there's some war to get there. Like a lot of war.

There's some more to get there.

That's where submission and stage four came in. Submission.

But I think that we're both strong Personalities. And that's what I was getting back to. Like, I think we parallel together in the sense of like, I'm like, hey, I, I, I can be very masculine, but I'm also very feminine. And I also appreciate a man who shows up very masculine. Like, that's a turn on to me, right? So I, if I expect a man to show up as a man and be masculine, then I have to show up as a woman and let him be the man.

Like, did you hear that, ladies?

Like, no, I'm just like, no, you're.

Saying it how it is, ladies. You hear that? Listen up.

I'm, no, I'm just gonna say, listen up, ladies. The only reason I'm bringing this up is because I was talking to my train. I love her to death. She's like newly dating this guy. And anyways, she's like, she's like, oh, he's so great. But he let me buy dinner last night. And I was like, oh, that's such a turn off. She goes, yeah. And she goes, but. And then she goes, I think it might have been my fault. I had had a cocktail and I was like, let me pay, let me pay, let me pay. I'm like, you showed up as the man. She's like, ah. And I was like, I'm like, you're very giving. But you kind of went, you like. So he was like, maybe she wants to pay for me. Okay, great. Like, I can accept that. I'm like, but you can't expect a man to show up as a man if you're not gonna, if you're not gonna show up and, and be the woman. I'm like, and even if he feels uncomfortable, you have to give him the opportunity to pay for dinner. Like, even if he doesn't have a lot of money, even if he doesn't think there's an extra date in there. Like, you have to let him have that opportunity to show up how you want him to show up. And so that's like one thing I realized, like in our relationship is because I'm a strong personality if I want, if I want my man to be. Because it's very sexy. There's a lot of chemistry when you are playing that role. And I'm sure by versa, when I'm kind of submissive and I can be the wife. And so that's why I think we go really well together is we've kind of like figured that out.

That's a piece of submission. Stage four. Submitting. No, seriously, it is, it's submitting. To roles. It's submitting to playing your piece on the team. It's submitting to letting go. It's submitting to a whole bunch of things. Like, for example, my wife does not do well with the fact that there are required financial commitments to be able to make things happen in life when it comes to shit she doesn't care about. And so we just had to talk about this. Recently, we have. Repairs are having to be done on one of her other houses, and she doesn't like the fact that repairs had to be done. And so she wants to figure out how we can buy a roll of duct tape from Home Depot and just fix it. And I'm like, it's not going to work like that for $12. Meanwhile, in handbags filled with Louis Vuitton.

My brain is always, like, thinking, like, okay, like, bags are expensive, but they're not. Like, and. And shoes are expensive, but I'm like, oh, they're not. Like, yeah, over time, they might be like, 50 grand. But then when you're like, we got to put 50 grand in this, I'm like, but do we have to do it right now? Like, larger numbers? I'm like, but do we. Is it absolutely not necessary right now?

So I asked you. Because it is. And I asked you. I was like, do you want me to just not tell you? And you are like, yeah. And I was like, okay, I will just handle it.

No, I didn't say to still want.

You did. You said, don't tell me. I know, because this was dealing. I said, do you want me to just keep you out of these conversations? I'll just handle it.

And you said yes, out of some conversations.

Okay, I'll keep you in as many conversations you want to be in. But this. This submission piece in conversation, money is a topic.

I think that if. If. When I think that framed correctly, I would appreciate you actually filling me in on these things. But you. And sometimes you frame it up. Well, like, even with the whole church tithing thing, initially I was, like, pissed off. And then you. But then you explained it, and I was like, you know what? That's great. I've been kind of feeling the same way. Like, we'll see where this goes. That's great. And I'm like, had you have came to me and you said it that way and you framed it up that way, I wouldn't have been triggered and gotten mad in the first place. And so that. I think there's always a conflict or an argument that can be avoided based on how you Present that idea to your significant other.

Oh, see, this is good, right? The pre frame seduction, right? Being able to present.

You can't just go straight for the boobs, Garrett.

You gotta, like, you just walk straight in boobies.

You gotta treat every conversation like you're trying to. You're trying to.

I'm trying to get laid.

You're trying to get laid.

And I did not pre frame those situations really well. So that's the end of our message for today, which is simply this.

Frame a conversation like you want to get laid.

Oh, wow. I like where you went with that, Frank. That's the name of this show. Frame the conversation. Tequila tithing and framing. Framing money like you want to get laid. So this. This framing idea, though, in submission, I really want. I'm gonna. This is gonna be our challenge for the week, which is you gonna be taking on a. There is a conversation you're avoiding right now in your relationship. And it could be around money, it could be around sex, it could be around parenting, it could be around kids, it could be around whatever the it's about. But whatever it's about, you're going to specifically look at. How can I pre frame this in a way that would allow for us to have a rational conversation? Now, I did not do this with the tithing and the tequila thing didn't go down so well. But we have had a lot of great conversations that are working really well. And those are. We're kind of throwing ourselves under the bus and giving some examples of stuff recently in the last month. Yes, we were fallible. Yes, we fuck a lot of things up. But the cool thing is we keep winning. And we keep winning for one simple reason. Because we keep submitting. We keep submitting to grow, to be better, to be a better today than we were yesterday, be better tomorrow than we will be today, and just continue this game of progress.

I think too, because we both know this, we are more likely to play the submission game. It took us years to get there, but I think now that we know the ultimate goal and because we want to grow and we know the power behind it, we're kind of like, okay, this is what needs to be done. And so we can be irritated and you can be human and you can have these feelings. But in the end, I think that's what for me at least, and probably for you too. That's when we're like, this, this is stupid and it doesn't matter. Not that it doesn't matter, but like, like, let's talk about this, you know, and have better communication as a couple. So we gotta go to dinner.

Final stage. Final stage then is salvation. That's the stage we were talking about. That's what Daniel's saying. That is the five stage. You can learn about those@divorceyourwife.com Also on top of this, we have every single two weeks happening to Wake Up Warrior Challenge. If you are a man or a woman and looking to find the weapons and the tools, the tens of thousands of men and women over the past decade, and specifically now about 600, 800 every two weeks are stepping these wake Up Warrior challenges with us. We'd love to share those tools with you and tips with you, help you have a better marriage, help you a better powerful inside your game and learn how to have it all across body, being balanced in business. So check that out. Go to wakeup warriorchallenge.com thanks so much for being here this episode. We're off to dinner and then I'm off to Costa Rica for five days of surfing and then I'll be back. We'll do this next week's episode and I'm sure I'll have tons of surf stories that my wife will not be impressed by. My friends, we're out of here. This is Garrett, Shay White and Danielle signing off this week's date your wife podcast.