The 5 Stages of Divorce | Date Your Wife | EP 111

Well, welcome. We're here.

We were debating who should do the intro.

So we. We started the show date your wife the podcast as therapy. It was our way of being able to show you guys real time what was happening in our lives. Both our students inside Waco Warrior.

I don't think we started as therapy. I think it turned into therapy. I don't know, our higher self. We were honestly, like, thinking we were gonna do some kind of merger of, like, business. We tried, like, be the woman and all this stuff. And then you're like, we should do a podcast. And then it turned into therapy.

This was January. January 2018. We launched the podcast date your wife. We went solid all through 2018, built a huge group of people to listen to it every single week, inspiring you to have conversations that were real, raw and relevant to produce results in your life inside of your marriage. And then we went into 2019. Danielle got pregnant.

We still did it. Clear up until.

Only halfway through. No, no, halfway through.

I remember doing a podcast, like, right after I had her, and I was like, it was rough, guys. I made it.

Did we? Yes.

I'm quite.

Yeah. Either way, we quit our commitment when her belly got bigger and the baby got bigger, it just went down.

I think we had been doing it solid for a couple years, and I'm like, I was a little overwhelmed with the baby and everything going on, and I'm like, where are we going with this? Are we pitching something? Are we promoting something? Are we just adding value? Like, either way, I just. I need to know what we're doing with this. And we kind of were. It became something that was, like, really fun to Something that was a little bit stressful. And I was like, I need to put a pause on it. And then we had a lot of people asking us, people saying, even just inside of our communities and inside of our tribes, like, saying, hey, can you guys bring back the podcast? And then we just recently. We just recently made.

We've been talking about bringing it back.

For three months, but we tell them we recently where we're at right now.

We are currently in our new castle, and it's exactly what it is. It's a we Castle. Explain to what we mean by we Castle.

Well, that's kind of when I felt like I wanted to bring back the podcast, and I'm like, gary, should we bring back the podcast? I feel like we're making, like, a pretty major leap inside of. Inside of our lives. We've had a lot of major leaps, lots. But I felt like this one was the first time that it was like, both of our efforts have come to fruition, and we purchased this amazing. It's not even a house. It's a castle. And it's somewhere where I kind of had my eye on it for the last couple years and kept telling Garrett. I'm like, I think. I think we end up getting that house. I'm like, I don't know how, but I think we end up getting that house. And I'm not someone that, like, believes in. Like, if. Oh, if you just put it out there, it comes true. You definitely have to work towards your goals, but I also think that you have to entertain those goals in order to make them happen. And honestly, that's what we did. We were like, no, I don't know if we can get into that house. I don't know. And that's what we said four years ago at our last house. And then everything just happens so smoothly. And here we are. And I have to ask myself, I'm like, okay, who are we supposed to become? What's next? Like, it's meant to be kind of thing. Like, as cheesy as that sounds, I'm like, I feel like if this wasn't supposed to happen, then it wouldn't have happened.

So, bottom line, here's the deal. Danielle and I spent three stages in relationship. We had. I should say stage number one was 17 stages. 17 stages. But they're actually. I created a video@dorceyourwife.com that you can go check out. Right? Sounds. It's a very catchy clickbaiky headline. Clickbaity headline. But it gives about 500,000 people every single week who opt in to watch a video. And I talk about the five stage of relationship Danielle and I went through. We've been together for 20 years. We've been married. Coming up on 18 years. As you heard, she got pregnant. Does not look pregnant now. Went off and won some fitness competitions, got sexy as hell, grew a booty through her squat workouts, and impresses me even more every single day. We'll talk more about that maybe in the show, maybe later. Or maybe we'll save that just for the great experiences of memories and photos and videos inside my own mind. But nonetheless, that video, divorce your wife.com, going to walk through these five stages. The seduction phase. They're going to move from seduction to strangulation to suffocation. Right. Which we may discuss those a little bit. And then there's this void. Right? So we have these three things. Seduction, strangulation, suffocation. And every relationship hits a suffocation point where you're like this, I'm out of here. Her. Fuck him. I'm done. I can't do this relationship anymore. You. And this is why divorce has skyrocketed. And this is why people keep repeating the same shit.

I think that what was different about our relationship. And I constantly have women asking me, I own a salon in Laguna beach called DKW Styling. And, I mean, I work with a lot of women just like you work with a lot of men. And people are constantly like, how did you guys do it? And, yeah, marriages work. And there's times I'm like, to this day, I'm like, hey, I don't really want to be in the same room as you today, so go way. But what I felt like was cool is we went from this space in our marriage where I literally, like, I was severely, like, turned off by you. I was like, I don't want anything to do with him. And now I feel like we have this great chemistry back. So it's almost like I feel like we went through this place where we wanted to call it quits. We went to this place where we were like, I don't want to be with you anymore. And we had to rebuild trust. We had to rebuild our relationship. And through that, we rebuilt our chemistry. Now I think we like each other.

Oh. After last night, it would be evident that you like me. So we'll keep going. All right, so here's the deal, though. Like, we're going to use some frameworks throughout all the shows to help you find some progress. And I'm going to keep coming back to this model. You'll find@divorceyourwife.com, which is this. Your first phase is seduction. We're back in seduction phase, which is quite fun. I love it. This thing just repeats itself over and over again. And, gentlemen, let me spell that in English. That means lots of sexual. Let's come outside of the lots of sex phase. Next phase is strangulation. This is when you start to recognize your relationship, that somebody has some flaws. You start to acknowledge. You're like, what? She. She what? She has some problems. And she's like, ah, he's. He's. That what I thought was kind of annoying is actually becoming annoying now.

People say like, oh, their true colors came out. I'm like, maybe you didn't notice those true colors.

You were blind to the true colors. So the true color start come out. But guess what? Seduction phase is still blending into the strangulation. Phase. So you don't care. You're like, all you can think about is the connection and the sexual vibe and the energy.

So let go of those stupid things. That.

That's why it's like, I'm strangling, but I'm not suffocating yet. Then you get to a point where no amount of sex or seduction is enough, because strangulation is now the dark side or the dark warrior or the dark side of my wife.

They do. You're like. Like, you're. There's no seduction. You're just kind of, like, severely turned off. You're just turned off, and you're kind of like roommates. And you're like, well, we got. We got kids, so we should probably just continue to be. Just settle, I guess. You know what I mean? And I talk to a lot of women, too, who stay in relationships for kids. And I'm like, you have to understand that how you operate and who you are is maybe not the best for your kids. So I'm not, like, saying, yeah, get divorced, but I'm also saying, like, maybe where you're at is you think is the best situation for your family and your children, and. And it's not.

So there's a decision to have to be made at this suffocation point, and the answer is divorce. Isn't that crazy? The answer is divorce. And@divorceourwife.com I go through that. I'm not trying to promote that side, except for, like, there's just a training video there for an hour. They'll walk you through. And it's been very useful to thousands of couples. I think it'll be useful to you. We didn't have it in the first round of the shows because I didn't have it figured out yet.

So we were still in therapy sessions.

We were still in therapy sessions figuring out. But you have a baby. Baby's a year and a half over a year and a half old. A lot has just changed since we launched the original podcast, including purchasing the home of our Dreams together as a partnership. Both our companies coming together with the profits to be able to make that happen, both our brands exploding and the impact we're making in the world being massive. But most importantly for us is a marriage and a family that's on fire, which is what we want for you guys. So this jump between stage number three, which is suffocation, like, I can't do this anymore. The only answer is divorce. I'm out of here. This is when people. Guys, start looking at porn all the time. And jerking off, cheating on their wives, doing all kinds of crazy stuff. You speak about what happens to the ladies.

I mean, I feel like, what about the men that just like, drown themselves.

In work that is called seduction or suffocation too, right? Sedation. No, like, you will, like, so you'll start doing whatever. You just work all the time. You'll ignore your wife, you'll hope, you'll pray, you'll scroll the Instagram and look at all the asses because there's plenty of them. And you'll do all this stuff, like, to distract. You might be a great church guy, right? You're a good church guy.

And is it because for men, are they uncomfortable, like, being with their wives?

They're stuck. They're. They're in this. No, see, here's the deal though. Even when guys are in this, like, suffocation phase, they want to get laid.

You're a workaholic. I'm not a workaholic, but I work a lot and I'll even. There's been times, even this last year, where I'm like, hey, I know that if you just came home a couple nights a week earlier, like, not at like 7, that, that means a lot to me.

Yeah, I started coming home at 5:30 in 20, 21 and our sex game's gone up by like 300%.

Well, I don't need a lot. I need like an hour a day.

An hour a day of sex.

No, I just need to. I need like, you physically to be. I don't even care if you talk to me.

I can be there too.

I just. If you could just stand there, hold the baby, just be good looking. You just be. I don't know, just be here. I guess my love language is time. But I would argue that any couple's love language should be time because that's how you create. That's how you stay connected.

So our goal is to help you get across the jump, right? There's a jump that has to be done between stage number three, which is strangulation, where you feel like there's no way out. It's all dark. And even in the moments where you're super drunk in Mexico and you have sex and you think you're good, you come back to reality and you're like, this sucks. And you just kind of settle. And a lot of people may even not be in a place where they're cheating or looking at porn or drinking or doing that. You just get to a place, you're like, you're numb. And you're raising your kids and you're numb. And then you hit your 50s and you're like, eh, fuck it. When you get divorced, right? There's. Divorce is skyrocketing. Covid exposed the shit out of marriages, right? Divorce is through the roof. Alcohol consumption, 600% increase. People sedation, through the roof. Marriage has taken a hit like it's never taken before because of just a condition with masks and everything else we're facing. So there's a leap that has to be made. That leap is what led to the life that we have now. We made the leap in 2016, 17.

To like, I'll get comments like, how did you guys? And I'm like, I feel like we're in a really good space, but we're far and few. Like, we have rocky moments still to this day. But I think for me and I think for you, we recognize when we're in that space. And for me, it reminds me of old patterns and habits and things like that. And I'm like, fuck that, Danielle. You're better than that. You need to work on your communication, like, whatever it is. And so sometimes I fight for things like that might seem little, but I'm like, no, get your ass home at least two to three nights a week before 7:00'.

Clock.

Like. Like, I have to fight for little things like that. Whereas in the past I'd be like, no, just be grateful that he's. He works a lot and he takes care of you. And I'm like, I fucking work a lot and I take care of us too. And these are things for me that I know will actually make our relationships better. It's not even like, I want it just for me. Like, it's things like that that I want for us and I know will make our relationships better. And so it's like little things like that. I think people think we have it all figured out, but we just recognize when things are getting kind of rocky and. And because we've gone through so much together, we quickly course correct. And in doing so, I feel like it makes us stronger a lot of times.

So there's a jump, this jump that we made that led to this, right, which is the ability to. We closed the door in divorce number one. Divorce was an option for both of us. It was a thought in the back of our minds constantly right up until 2016. If you don't know our story we had. You can go. We'll go into it over the. Over the shows that are coming. But here was the reality. Big pivot for us. 2016, her and I were, like, done. Like, I was very public about this with our tribe. We were not one of those people that are going to be like, oh, my God, we love each other. Best friends, soulmates, pop. And then next week, hey, dude, we're getting divorced, so please send us your prayers and blessings and some biscuits in a basket. So we were. We were very open about where we were.

I feel like you were very open. And I was like, no, you were not as open. But then I got to this place where I was like, fuck it. I can't worry about what people think about me. Like, I don't care. This is where I'm at. Like, I can't keep pretending. We're like, we had a really nice home at the time. We had really nice cars. We basically, like, lost everything. Our marriage sucked. And I was like, I can't. Like, there's no pretending anymore, and there's no power in pretending. Like, there's power in submitting and then starting over and rebuilding something that matters.

So 2016, we were at that place again, and things were really good, but I wanted great. And we didn't know what greatness looked like. We were hunting for. We were hunting for the life that we'd had here. Because if you rewind, eight years ago, eight and a half years ago, we moved here from Gilbert, Arizona, to Orange County, California. We moved into a place called Adair Ranch. And right here above our. Our home is right now in the estates where we're at on the beach. Last coastal property in Orange county is right here in the place where we live. And we came to this place eight years ago with our two. Our girls. Eight years. So Bailey would. Ruby would have been like, maybe two.

I think she's like two.

Almost two. And then Bailey was. Bailey was like. Would have been six years old.

Six and a half.

So. And we're standing at this walkway up above the parking lot at Strands beach, above where our house is, and we're looking down. It's just green, lots of. And we just started asking questions at that time eight years ago. We're like, well, man. Like, what do we have to become.

To pull that off? Like, holy shit. Like, who lives there? They must be awesome. And then I immediately was like, how do I get there? Like, it wasn't like. I was like, oh, that'll never be me. It's not possible. I acknowledge, like, that's amazing. But then I was like, I want that. How do I get there? And so that's how we've always, like, gone about life, that we've always been like, oh, that's scary. But not, like, I don't believe in myself enough to think I can get there. You know what I mean? And I think that that mentality has really is why we are where we're at as both individuals, as a couple and in our businesses as well, because we're like, okay, what's next? Like, we crave that growth, and we see things that might seem too far out of the reach. And it's like, cool. There's my target, there's my goal, and let's go get it.

So this question became the question eight years ago, which was, who do we have to become? And for eight straight years, and I calculated out it was 56,000 hours. 56,000 hours. Myself and Danielle combined together have obsessed about the outcome that we have right now in our lives. Our marriages, our marriage, our children, our family life. My son, back in our life eight years ago. My son was estranged in our relationship. Me and Danielle, we're not connected to him. My son right now is taking care of the baby. Right. Right now. Like, Parker's here. He's on 22 in a couple, like, a month or so, and he's taking care of the baby. That's a year and a half inside of our house. Like, we. He's. He was not part of lives. He would not be part of lives without Danny.

I talked to your ex wife into moving here, too. They live in Canada. She calls me today. She goes, I bought a house. I'm like, you bought a house? She's like, yeah, it's like 15 minutes from you guys. I was like, all right. So now I feel like there's this whole other chapter because, like, as crazy as that sounds, I really like his ex wife. They weren't married that long, and Garrett and I. I feel like I'm like your. Your first wife because we've been married together so long. Like, you guys are only married long enough just to have Parker.

We were together long enough to have Parker.

And she's funny. Like, we talk and connect and that kind of thing. And I almost am. Like, when she told me she was moving, I was like, cool. Cause I always felt like I wanted to be here for Parker, but I didn't necessarily. I felt like his mom, but I didn't. You know what I mean? He was like three when we got married, so I'm always like, hey, buddy. And now he's like, 21. I'm like, hey, buddy. And I'm like, you're a huge adult, man. And I think it'll be cool to have her down here, too. And it's like another part of the chapter.

She's amazing. Her and Larry are amazing.

I feel like our story's a pretty good one. Our goal with this podcast is to help individuals to help couples and share our story and share what we learn throughout the process, and hopefully you guys get a ton of value out of it.

So there's this gap. I'm going to talk about it on every single episode. I'm going to talk about the gap and the jump you're going to have to make. And you're going to need to assess where you're at in your relationship. Right. If you're brand new and you're dating, you're watching this, you're in the seduction phase, and you're like, and I love meeting people who've been together for like a year, year and a half, and they don't have any kids and no dogs and no bunny rabbits. The bunny rabbits. Never buying a bunny again. We keep getting rid of these damn bunnies. Here's the deal. You're going to be in there and you're not going to listen. I'm being like, hey, listen, just so you know, we just had this happen on a date night with a couple friends of ours. We were at dinner with them here a while back. They've been dating for like a year. And I was trying to get through this guy. I was like, I need you to understand, bro. You are in stage one. He's like, da, da, da. No, we're gonna. Da, da, da. We're gonna have sex forever. And I was like, I'm sure you will have sex forever. I was like, but this phase comes to an end, my friend. And doesn't matter how beautiful she is or how amazing you are, you. It comes to an end. There's a point where things start to shift, right? And annoying shit happens. Not everybody. Everybody's not sexy all the time to each other. Even today, there are times, I mean, it's hard. Half time I see her, I can't really think about it tonight.

Except for when she's kind of a little bit. You're in that infatuation phase.

I'm back in seduction at another level. So now she walks in. I'm like, oh, my God, he's so high.

I'm like, your clothes off.

Literally.

I'm like, I own you.

Like, she literally said to me last week or two weeks ago, we get.

Done having sex, you can't even seem.

Mad at me anymore.

I just. Yeah, it's kind of fun.

I mean, when you sit naked on my keyboard, I don't have a choice. So it's like you deactivate the deep penis.

You used to be like, you used to, like, have a little more control.

Now he's like, well, listen, a few weeks ago. This is completely off topic. A few weeks ago, we done having sex, and Danielle goes, I conquered you.

I did not say that.

She did. She said, I conquered you.

I think I said, I own you.

No, you said, I conquered you.

You said you conquered me.

I said you looked at me on top of me. You clawed my chest and you said, I conquered you. Now, to her own credit, I. We have been going for an hour, and it was amazing experience, and I was having a great time. And there was just put. I got multiple bullets in a chamber. I'm just going to put it out there. So here's the deal, though, that experience and everything we're at right now, we're at a new level after having jumped the gap. So what's the gap? I keep talking about the jump between suffocation, where the strangulation, now it's become suffocation. Now it's like, I can't fucking do this anymore. I have to be divorced. This moves in. Danielle said the word submission. You have to jump the gap. Divorce the marriage the way you know it as. Divorce yourself, as the way you see yourself. Divorce the game in your family the way it's been. You have to let go. That's why I say divorce is mandatory.

I think the biggest thing in submitting or letting go is, like, for me, and I've shared this on so many other podcasts, I'm like, you have to look at what you want the end result to be, and then you have to reverse engineer and figure out what those steps are in between to get you what you want. There's things that maybe, like, I don't want to do. Like, we might get in a big fight and I might be pissed. And then I'm like, you know what? Who fucking cares? And I kind of like, go to you, and I'm like, you know what? This doesn't matter. This is stupid. And I do little things like that constantly because I know if I don't, I'm not really winning. I'm not really winning anything. So oftentimes when I kind of come across collisions or whatnot, I'm like, what's a win, Danielle? What's going to be a win? For you, your family, your relationship. And it makes me react different to situations. So if you're that man or that woman and you are like, so you're in that strangulation phase. What do you want and how do you get there?

What is available in the submission phase, which stage number four is? You submit to the reality that your partner is human and you submit to the reality in your own life that you're human. What does this mean? I know I'm an asshole. I know I'm a workaholic. I know I steamroll people. I get it. And I also know on the flip side of that, I'm a badass. The things I can do really well, the things I'm great at, I'm great at, there's a lot of shit I suck at. But the things I'm great at, being a leader. I am damn, like a damn good father. I'm an all in father. People watching a Super bowl in this house. We'd barely had the house for a week. I'm in a pool with the kids the whole time, right? Didn't even think twice about it. I was like, I'm going to pull the baby. Baby swimming. I'm going to pull the baby. But I also know Danielle's a total bitch. And I also know she's fucking brilliant, but she's both. And what's amazing at the submission phase is you stop pretending that you are perfect and your partner is flawed. You start recognizing she's amazing and she's psycho. I'm amazing and I'm a fucking psycho. And there's this power that opens up in that. That stage.

Well, I think that everybody has those two sides of them. You know what I mean? And it's like, it's not if, like, everybody has these sides of them. And when you're married to somebody and you're around somebody that much, you get to see every side. And you have to, even for me, like, if you're being a crazy asshole, I have to be like, I'm just like, he's got work. He's in work brain. He's in work brain. Like, this morning we were walking up to the old house and he was like, well, did you get this? And this? And I was like, I just didn't respond because I'm like, you're in work brain. And I just. There's no reason to even, like, argue about it. I was like, I don't care anymore. In about 30 minutes, we're both gonna forget about it. In 30 minutes, you text me and you go, love you, appreciate what you did. I'm like, yeah, no worries. I was just trying to take care of it, you know what I mean? So there's certain situations where you're both just, like, angry. Cause maybe you haven't got your workout in or whatever it is. And those are situations where I don't let that even, like, escalate. I'm like, give it 30 minutes, it's fine. But, yeah, I'm excited. I'm excited for the next episode.

You can't conclude the episode. I have to finish the framework.

You're still going on that.

Listen, I know that there's gonna be a lot of you listening. You're just gonna go get a lot of Daniela, randomly talk about stuff, and we talk and collide and have a good time. I'm gonna keep this in a little bit of a framework.

I don't like frames.

Well, I know you hate frames, except for. Then you take all my frames and build an empire with it. So you're welcome. Here's the deal. This last stage, though, submission we submitted to each other. Here's what was born, though, that was missing from our marriage. In the first three stages. There was love, there was fun, there was hate, there was desire, there was desperation, there was get me the fuck out of here. There was a. I'm out of here. This is getting divorced. Literally, there was just. Divorce was an option. When you jump to four is the first time you close the door. And when you close the door to divorce and you say, fuck it, we're not getting divorced working on this shit, here's what's born.

Respect, I think. Trust, trust.

Both talk to me about trust. Go.

Well, I felt like you. It was weird. I always felt like when we were in that kind of limbo stage, when we were still, like, going on dates and talking and communicating and therapy and whatnot, I always felt like you were kind of pushing me away. You're like, maybe you should go. I knew we were in trouble. When you're like, maybe we should have an open relationship. I was like, if that's where we're at, like, that's not going to be work for me, and we should probably be done. And I felt like you, like, you were kind of pushing me away. And I was trying to regain trust from some situations in the past of, like, you know, like, losing everything and cheating. And I was like, like, you. I'm trying to work on this marriage, and you're. You're put. You're trying to push me away, and I'm trying to rebuild this trust. And then I remember there was finally, like, several conversations where you're like, I'm not going anywhere. I was like, finally. I'm like, holy. I've just been waiting for some. Like, we can fight. We can figure this out, but I'm not gonna fight for somebody who's on the fence, who keeps bringing up divorce. Like, either you're in or you're not. And I think that's when we both got to this place where we were kind of in this place where, like, I don't like you. But we both knew that we wanted to work it out, and we had enough spark and chemistry and work that had been done on ourselves individually, together, that we weren't willing to throw away that history and that spark, that little teeny glimpse of connection we still had. Like, I don't believe that we were fighting for each other, for our families, for ourselves. Like, we were fighting so hard that I think we were both refusing to give up. And through that, we finally went all in and off of that built trust.

Respect became the second level of this, which is you started to understand what the other person was going through being married to you. Like, Danielle started to understand what it was like to be married to her and could see how she painted me into a corner. I started seeing how I'd shown it for her. I started having deep thoughts, going, fuck, man, being married to me, what an exhausting proposition. Like, if I was married to me, I'd fucking be pissed at me. If I was married to me, I wouldn't fuck me either. I was like, what the hell? Like, look at you, dude. Look who you are. So there's a radical sense of accountability where both individuals start to recognize we're the problem.

Or, like, I played a role in this, and I can. I can understand that he played a role, but I played a massive role in this as well. And my role might be a little more quiet than Garrett's, might be a little more passive aggressive, but either way, I played a role in where we're at, and I have to own that, take accountability for that. And then literally, like, I think that's what we both started to do. I was like, oh, God, I am a bitch. Like, I'm very sweet. I think I'm very giving and very sweet, but I was like, oh, man, I'm a little feisty. Okay. I could probably reel that in.

A little feisty.

I'm a little feisty. Like, this feisty, sweet way.

Oh, listen, I love your feistiness because when it turns the other direction, Feisty has conquered you.

Feisty's fine.

Feisty's conquered you. And I'm okay with you.

But I feel like I'm very like, I'm like out to please. I'm very doting. I'm very doting. You're lucky.

That's a very intense word, doting. You've been watching Bridgerton too much?

No, he's not watching that as bad.

So, final step and then we're done with this episode. The final stage, when you start to establish respect and trust, there is a divine moment that happens. That and this final stage I call salvation. And this is when the marriage is saved and the relationship is saved and there's a moment of healing that occurs, that is deep. And I can't speak to what it was like for Danielle, but it was for me. And it was like my eyes for the very first time could see the power and the beauty and the history and the amount of time and energy and an ability to look at all the pain that I caused and to. To be able to let it go and to look at all of the pleasure that I'd caused and to be able to let that go and to let go of all the days and the times and the mess ups and the fuck ups and everything and say, okay, I love this woman, she's ride or die. I want to create life with her. I don't see any other woman. I see her. And that for me was the ultimate closure. And I feel like that happened about. It was interesting. That phase happened about the time Ida was born. I feel like that was probably the first time until then. No, I feel like that was the first time where like her coming into our world here a year and a half ago and you even being. It was while you were pregnant too. It was like that whole two year time period there was just God was working on my heart and God was like, listen man, this, you need to stop fucking this up. God might not talk to you like that way. God talks to me that way in my world, speaks my language, which is, you need to stop fucking this up. And also, you're not a piece of shit. Let it go and grow and just be all in and co create with this woman. And from that place of salvation came this double down commitment from both of us. And while most companies and most people were getting crushed during COVID I feel.

Like, you know, you know what was cool about 2020 is I was like. Because we kept telling our students, we're like 2020 is not a reflection of where you're at. It's a reflection of where you've been the last five years, 10 years. And I was like. Even though it was kind of scary and unsettling, I was like, we fucking showed up. And not only that. Like, we were like. We innovated. And I was like, wow. Like, my company did the most it's ever done in 2020, when my salon was closed down half the year. Because I knew how to. Course. Correct. I knew how to innovate. We had built such a strong foundation. It's like, we fucking showed up. And I felt like our true colors really, like, came through. Yeah, there was crazy rocky moments. Our kids are in homeschool. Like, yeah, like, I mean, there were some. There were some rocky moments. You know what I mean?

Rough. Rough.

Susan came out hard. A few moments.

Susan came out hard.

When we moved to this house, I was telling everybody, I'm like, susan died. Susan. Susan's dead. She's not classy enough to be here.

Susan is Danielle. After five shots, you know what?

I didn't start drinking until my 30s. And sometimes I. I'm a lightweight. It just takes me over the edge. And then I'm like, that was fun. And then not so fun the next day. So Susan's dead for now.

So the place we're in right now is our dream home. And we purchased this home here just a couple weeks ago. We closed on it, moved in. It's a beautiful home. We saw this home for last. This home took five and a half years to build. It was started construction about the time that we stood on that balcony and said, who would we have to become? The home was built over five and a half years. And then for the last two years, we lived three houses down from this one where the home we purchased in 2017. And we would walk past this home as it was opened up, and the owners only came for about three weeks over two years, because it was a second or third home. They had divorces, and some other things happened in their life. So things changed. And Danielle would tell me every day when we walked by, and I'd run past every day to go sell our house.

I was like, that's nice that they're taking care of our home for us.

And then things lined up, and the universe opened up and said, hey, let's go. And we were like, okay. And we had history with this. And Danielle and I looked at each other and we said, okay. You know, we're making a leap into a world that we want to be in a world that we knew we would be in and a world that we feel very comfortable being in. And this path that we're on right now is not about money. But I will tell you right now that money and intimacy in your marriage and the money that you create and co create as a team and the relationship with your families and. And the way your bodies look and the way your spiritual life is on fire. We started going to church like a month ago to a beautiful church here in Orange county called Ocean Church with Pastor Mark loving that church. First time I've seen Danielle be lit up, I think by. Just be lit up by spiritual fire. She's all very spiritual woman. Been much more spiritual than me.

I think that's why I always had a hard time with church. I didn't feel I would have more spiritual time with myself, doing my own thing and reading and learning and that kind of thing. And so I kind of shied away from church. Grew up very like Mormon and never really had the same feelings I did as when I actually left the church. And then we tried some other churches and things like that and I just like, I felt like I had more spiritual time on my own. And then we went to this church and I was like, that's the first time I've actually gone to a church and felt such an abundant spirit with the community and everybody else. So it was great.

So lots of changes, right? Couldn't have told you that we would be. That we would be heading down a path with Jesus Christ. That this would be something at the core of who we are and what we do. Not that we'd ever been against it or opposed to anybody who went that path. It's just for the past decade we've really worked with, I know, directly with God to create our lives to be what they are. But there's a. There seems to be a definitive path that's opening up both with what I do at Wake Up Warrior and the explosion of now making Wake Up Warrior available to men and women as well as teams. And the conclusion of the six books that I published in 2019, the six apps that we published in 2020, and now the Wake Up Warrior Challenge. It happens every two weeks with roughly a thousand plus participants from around the world who are participating in these live, interactive experiences with us every two weeks. And amidst all that, change has happened for Warrior. At the same time, there's been an explosion that's happening in the salon world and the hair world too.

I feel like we've been grinding so hard that finally stuff's kind of, like, taking fruition, and it's just cool to see. I'm like, oh, it's almost like, I don't know if you ever sit back and you look at your company and you're like, wow, I did that. But then you're like, well, yeah, I've been hustling and grinding for the last 10 years, minimum. And so it's kind of cool to have those moments where you sit back and appreciate what you built and where you're at, and you're like, all right, we're just getting started. Let's go. It's go time. And then to take those tools that you have been building and see them, see other people use them and have it bring so much abundance to their lives. And that's kind of with. With. With my education. Like, Garrett kind of helped me. I started it, and then Garrett kind of jumped in, and then I kind of took over about three years ago. And we have hairlines out. We have a whole online academy. It's so crazy. I built a whole online academy before I knew everything was going to go online. Like, I just kept having this. This guided. Whatever you want to call it, it guidance, higher self, whatever, this voice that was like, you need to go this direction. And. Because I feel like I'm very tapped in, and when I hear that, I'm like, I need to go this direction. And we built this online academy, and it took off, and it's. I feel like, in a way, I still kind of think I'm a baby business, but I still. I feel like I'm getting. I'm making some waves, and I'm really excited to where both of us are going and where we're currently at right now.

So the ultimate goal for us, for you, in watching and being part of this podcast every week with us, is for you to have it all. We want you to have it all. This is the desire, we call it the warrior's way. It's embedded at the core of what happens in the hair world, which is the ability for you to have it all in your bodies, to be fit and lean and on fire as individuals. Number two, to be being, which is your spiritual connection with God in a sense of purpose and connection, spiritual with each other and your children and ultimately God and you. And number three, inside of your balance, which is you and your wife, her husband, being on fire, sexually, emotionally, spiritually, mentally in your conversations. And also a bond and deep intimacy and clarity and transparency with your children. And then finally, money. The money and business itself lines itself up. So I'm going to make an invitation to you every single week to join the Wake Up Warrior Challenge. You can do that by going to WakeUpWarriorChallenge.com or WakeUpWarrior.com here inside. That is my agenda. I have a massive fucking agenda with this show, and it is to get you and your wife or husband into the Wake Up Warrior Challenge together. The tools that are in there will set you free. They will give you opportunities to do things that you never could have done without them. But regardless what you decide on there, I'm excited to have you on the show every week. And Danielle has.

We'll see where it goes. I'm excited to hear people's feedback. I want to know. I feel like when we started, I feel like I've grown a lot. I feel like we've grown a lot as individuals and couples. So I'm excited to honestly this next chapter, and I feel like this was a perfect time to rebirth the Date youe Wife podcast. So, you guys stay tuned. We're gonna. We're gonna be in Cancun next week, but we are gonna do a show.

We're gonna do a show from Cancun.

Do we have a camera? Yeah, well, sometimes if we don't have a camera, we'll do it from a cell phone. Our goal is to just stay consistent and give you guys value every single week on the Date your Wife podcast. Where you going?

In the spirit of.

I was like, for some reason, I thought you were going to pick me up and toss me in the pool.

No, in the spirit of conquering me.

I'm not going to conquer you.

Welcome, date your wife. All right, we'll see you guys next week.

Is that. We're ending it.