The Accelerator VS the Refiner | Date Your Wife | EP 124

All right, well, welcome to this edition of the date your wife podcast.

Why do you have to say it like kiost? Are you from. Where are you from?

Dana Point? California.

That's where you're from.

Nope. Where are you from? LA Dodgers?

I'm from Utah.

What was the deal with this LA Dodgers hat you started wearing recently? It looks, I mean, it looks super hot. It looks like you're an actual athlete. Like you, like you're a fan of the sport. Do you know what you want? You know what sport the LA Dodgers are?

Is it soccer?

No.

Oh, it's not.

What is it?

Confused, sir. Could it be baseball? Maybe foosball? Foosball is wonderful. I hear that's an amazing sport.

Oh, all right, well, listen, we're back. We're back with another episode. We just got back from a week long vacation in Mexico with the kids and Danielle managed to get sick with the tequila again.

You know what? My.

Why don't you be honest on the show about you and tequila and the problem you have on the.

You cannot judge your tequila tolerance because of what you think mine should be.

Sir, I'm not the one shitting myself from three to nine in the morning every night.

Hungover every night.

Okay, two nights.

Okay, sir, calm down. You and your gummy bears.

I don't have any gummy bears. I'm just more into the plant life these days.

Yeah, no, I don't think you have.

A problem with tequila. I just think you have a problem with tequila. On vacation.

I can't day drink. Like, I love, I love, I love vacation. But I'll always be like, okay, I need to pace myself. And then it's like you're at the pool and you're like, why would I not have a margarita? And then all of a sudden you're like, okay. Then you get like sleepy. So you have like two choices in the afternoon. Take a nap, take a n up or sober up. And it's like. Or keep, keep going. Sadly, I choose the third path. Often on vacations I'm like. But a lot of times when we're doing family vacations, I tell people, I'm like, like, we'll do pool days. But we are playing hard. Like, we are like zip lining and cenote and scuba snorkeling. And I was exhausting.

I was exhausted.

I actually slept great. But I slept great too. I woke up, I had to set my alarm. Like, I don't normally have to set my alarm. And I, I like woke up and I was like, oh, I gotta get moving. I gotta get going. Like, I feel like it definitely took me. I definitely felt like I jet lagged.

I thought I woke up this morning, I was fatigued as fatigued, which is horrible because there are such good waves right now. Oh, I mean I surfed good, but I mean there was like real good waves. But I was so tired this morning I could just feel it. Even my stack game was a little forced.

I do think though, when you fly and you travel like your body just kind of is like, oh, like jet lag's a real thing. Like even if it's only a five hour flight, it just, I don't know, something, it just, I was feeling it this morning.

So what were you. What are your biggest wins from this, this last family vacation? Bit of 7 days, 6 nights in Cancun at a place called El Cid.

Ye was fun.

We got it. We got a timeshare given to us by our in my, my in laws, my wife's parents.

I, you know what I will say. Like, I, and we discussed this on the beginning of. Or we discussed this at the beginning of the trip. Like you and I have grown so much as individuals and as a family and like the way we travel is always like top notch because I'm kind of at a place where I'm like, I only take my family on maybe like three big trips a year. So if I'm going to take the time away to travel with my family, like if I have the resources, which we do now, I want it to be not only an amazing place, but I realize important the experience is for me and customer service. Like, you can build out a beautiful resort. I tell my, my artist all the time, like, like if I'm referencing this back to hair, I'm like, you can build out a beautiful salon, but if your customer support is not there, like you're not going to attract the type of clientele that you want. And that's one of the things we noticed inside that hotel, like the first thing. And I was like, God, the pools are beautiful, the beach is nice, the spa is great. I was like, what do you know? And we were both like, what are the top two things that you are noticing? And I said, number one, the customer service. And number two, just like the Dynam people. Like, it's, it's, it's different. It is a different class, it's a different environment. Like, it is what it is. And so I was like, yeah, this is like, this is nice. But we, because we've been experiencing, we just started flying private this year, you know, so it's like now when we're experiencing life at a kind of a different level. I was like, oh, it's interesting to, like, come back to this place where, like a year ago, we thought we were like, wow. You know what I mean? And how many times.

February. It was February of 2021. We had come to El Cid with your parents for the first time. It was right after we moved into our current home. It was halfway through Covid. And I remember being a fun experience, but I also was. I was 18 months ago. And in between then and now, it was so crazy to watch just how much we have changed in what we see as normal and what we call and what we expect and what we tolerate and what we don't tolerate. Because even our kids. Even our kids were saying the same thing. I was kind of irritated they were saying it. But the more I started thinking about it, I was like, my kids can only understand.

They only know what they know.

Showing them.

Yeah, it's so funny, too, because I remember being. When we were. Well, not even first married, but there was so many times in our relationship and in our marriage that you. I. You felt like I was putting a lot of pressure on you or I expected certain things. And I finally, like, looked at you and I was like, I will not apologize for who I am, what I expect, and how I was raised. It is what it is. Like, so these are my standards, and you can either meet my standards or you can sit there and whine about how I'm pushing you to meet me at my standards. And I think it took me a lot of, like, that back and forth resistance of you and I of you, feeling like I wasn't grateful for what we had, but I was. But I just expected a lot. And even with our kids, I noticed that same thing. Like Bailey will say, snide remarks. I'm like, you spoil little shit. And then I'm like, well, look at where we live. Look at the environment we've created. And kids will be kids. You know what I mean? Like, I don't care if you're raised with money or if you're not. Like, kids are gonna be assholes no matter what, especially teenagers. So it's like, that's. If they expect a certain thing, like, hopefully they look at it as, like, when she's older, like, she expects things out of relationships, out of marriage, out of places she goes, and she strives for that.

So we're going through a new stuff.

Although she is a little.

She is shit She's a little shit face. She's a shit face. The contrast between being there in February 2021 and then being there in July of 2022, I was looking at 18 months. Like it was incredible to just see how much we had changed. El Cid had not changed, we had changed. And what was interesting to watch was like things that we had even called acceptable 18 months ago were completely unacceptable today. And there was like lots of small, little, small little details of things that matter to us that didn't seem to matter to anyone else. Like just things that matter.

What you don't know.

But we were used to being in Cancun, at Four Seasons, at the Waldorf, at Nusuk, at one and only in Cabo, at Petrel. Like we're just used to staying at like very high end resorts. Fairmont, Rosewood, Banyan Tree, which when you say these places, I mean you're not going to stay there for a week for less than 30 or $50,000. Like just for hotels.

For the whole family.

For the whole family. And you get something with that. Like there's something that comes with it. It's like the difference between somebody who buys one shirt at a high end store and it's a nice shirt and they may spend $600 on it and then you got somebody who buys 600 shirts for a dollar at Walmart. It's like there's just, there's a difference in desire and quality. And that's what I saw on this vacation was a radical contrast in what's happened for us, but also a radical change in our family. There's lots of things going on for our kids.

Yeah, it's so funny.

Like it's crazy.

It's crazy because Your son who's 23, was there with his girlfriend and then I have four daughters. I have six months, three years old, 15 and 11. So we got, we had quite the party going on, but it's fun. Like these party, these parties, they are parties. Like I feel like during the day it's like play with the little, we call them the Littles and the Olders. And then like at night I feel like it's like we're going out with the olders and we're going to these like fun restaurants, restaurant, clubs, club slash dancing, hanging out. Like it was fun. It's like fun. I feel like we're living like two dynamics because it's like we have, I always say, I'm like, we had like two sets of kids, you know what I mean? Plus you have a son who's like, old enough to be married. I'm like, we have like almost three sets of kids, so we'll get the.

23, the 15, the 11, the three year old and the newborn.

Yeah.

So it was fun to be in that experience. What was crazy for me is being on vacation for that, for the week. There were so many memories that we created this last seven days that we will never forget as a family the rest of our entire lives.

Well, what's so crazy? I was telling you, I think I was telling you this. I'm like, you know what? We almost contemplating like moving to a new hotel. And then we were like, no, we enough fun wherever we're at and we try to create new experiences for our kids. And I remember there was one night we were sitting there and we couldn't get into any of the shitty restaurants at the all inclusive resort. There was nowhere to eat. And I was like, who cares? Let's go get a sandwich. And the sandwiches also were not good. But there's this little cafe and it has like some crappy turkey sandwiches and BLTs and stuff and like some ice cream. And then they were doing like a fire dancing show. And I'm like sitting there, we're all sitting around this like little lawn table, we're eating these shitty sandwiches and we're having like meaningful conversations, like, and I was like, I mean, the environment is nice, but like, I was like, you know what, this is fun, like having these memories and connecting. Even if it's like over a crappy turkey sandwich and mediocre entertainment.

Well, getting dressed up and going out. Like there were a couple times we were at Ilia, which is this Greek restaurant in Cancun, which is amazing. It's like basically these restaurants are all owned by the same brand. And Harry's, Porfirios, Elio, and then another one that we went to and they're like a club meets a restaurant, like party scene. It's super, super fun. But there was. We were up as a family dancing and like taking the entire restaurant down. And everybody's watching us. We're just going nuts. Right over by the bar with all the professional dancers there. And we're going off, all of our daughters are up, my son's up with his girlfriend. We're doing our dancing, we're getting on. You're pretending like you're one of the girls that works at the place. Like, you're like damn near up on top of the tables doing a Coyote Ugly, you know, dance routine. And I'm like, it's fantastic. And you, like, that memory will be embedded in our children's minds forever. The conversation around the sandwich table, me and my son going golfing for six hours and getting to have real talk. You know, just being in that environment. And that was something that we never. My parents attempted to create with us when I was younger, but it didn't happen when we got older. Like, when we were, like, in our teens, if we didn't really travel, we didn't go do anything.

I think it's hard, too. Like, as your families grow. Like, I know it becomes like a family reunion, right? And I think that moms, like, try to fight for these family reunions where you bring in the spouses and the kids and everybody. But even, like, with my family and with your family, like, the dynamic gets so big. I always say, we're big fat Mormon. Wedding. Wedding. We're a family. Like, we're. There's a lot of fat kids and everything going on, and a lot of.

A lot of fat people say that, but a lot of. A lot of people eating too much sugar and drink.

I might like my tequila, but my diet's pretty on point, so that's my downfall. No, but I just. I think. I think that it's fun right now because our family isn't so big towards. At that point where we can go. But I'd love to, like, create a place. I mean, with where we were now, maybe we have homes, other places, and we invite them and their children and that kind of thing. And maybe not everybody comes, like, every single vacation, but maybe it's like. Like what my parents do where they're like, hey, this family gets to come this time. Okay. This family gets to come this time.

Well, you only have. And the thing is, you only have that spot, this pocket, like, for a period of time, and then it's over. Right. I just watched the same thing out with my parents. Like, they're trying to put it together, but, like, once your kids get married and they get older and they have their own kids, like, life just changes.

You're not gonna get a show?

Yeah, I'm just gonna eat my lunch. I'm hungry. I got meetings right after this, too, and I had meetings right before this. So we're just gonna kind of eat a little. Little pokey while we go. You want something pokey?

No, no. I had a. You like, I had a. I'm. I got to cleanse the tequila out. I'm just going to drink this water.

Yeah. Do you know what you said to Me during the vacation, which was interesting. I never heard you say, I'm scared.

Don't say it.

You know what you say.

No, I don't want to hear it. Don't say it.

You want to hear it.

No, I don't. Say it.

You laid down.

You say something you can't unsay.

I'm not worried about unsaying it. It's like a badge of honor. You said, babe, I'm kind of sexed out. I think. I think. I think I need to sleep tonight.

So true.

How's that feel to be sexed out as a woman?

Why does this show always have to go there? We're talking about meaningful conversations.

This was a meaningful conversation.

But making a legacy. And you're like, but my. What's more important about this trip is my wife got sexed out.

Yeah, but let's talk about this. We don't have any legacy if we don't have any sex. So, you know, in the end, it always comes back to sex.

I just. There's.

You got sexed out, though. That's the first time I've ever heard you say that in my whole marriage.

I. You know, it was a lot of days.

What does it feel like to be sexed out?

I don't know what you want me to say, to tell the truth.

What does it feel like?

I just was, like, tired. It wasn't like even, like, it wasn't like, just the sex. It was like the drinking and the food and the playing and the zip lining and the snow tang, and I.

Was just like, oh, but you blamed it on sex.

Well, no, because you came in one night like you were, like, ready to roar, and I was like, I can't even keep my eyes open. Like, I'm like, I'm sexed out. What I should have said is, like, I'm vacationed. I wasn't, like, vacationed out. I just was like, usually I, like, I'll, like, get into it.

So you use false, false red labeling of sex?

No, no, no.

I was fatigue.

I was. I was sexed out. I didn't want to have sex at night.

Yeah. How many town girls do this? They use overall fatigue as an excuse not to have sex. I don't care if we didn't have sex at night. We had great sex on the vacation.

Yeah, I'm sure they do all the time. I used to do it all the time, too.

Yeah, you should do a lot. You just feel like you were asleep.

You know what, though? Now, like, here's the thing. Like, even if I'm super tired. What I don't like with sex is, like, when it's like, you come to bed and there's no foreplay and there's no. It's just like. It's just like, you have to seduce a woman, like, even if she's tired, if you don't come in with the intent of, like, hey, we're gonna have sex right now. But you just are like, hey, can I give you a massage? Or, like, do you want to talk? And your intent is not, like, I want to have sex, but there's foreplay that could possibly lead to sex. Foreplay doesn't always have to lead to sex. But usually if there's nice conversation, if you are massaging my back, if there's anything else involved, it might lead somewhere, then you've got a shot.

Do you like to say might lead somewhere just because it lets you feel like you have options?

Yeah, well. Cause that's what I'm saying. Like, if I'm tired and you come in, you're like, hey, do you want a massage? After we have a massage, I expect to bend you over. I'm gonna be like, I would never.

Say that it's inappropriate, but I am definitely thinking.

Did you just say, I would never say that that's inappropriate?

Isaiah would never say that? I didn't say that. I wasn't thinking that. Of course, you know I'm thinking that. It's not like I'm looking at you going, God, my hands really just want to massage.

That's just how. But that's almost how it feels like. There's no tact in how you come about it sometimes where, like, you don't even have to say, like, you' energy is like, babe, I will rub your shoulders if you let me bend you over. Like, that's kind of like the best.

The best sex we had on vacation was the night I fell asleep on you.

That's not a very good pokeball.

Oh, great. Pokeball. I fell asleep on you.

You did? On me?

Yeah.

You're too big. I don't.

No, no. I didn't fall asleep laying on you. I fell asleep. I was watching a movie.

Oh.

And you'd pulled your shirt up and I was sitting there.

Let's not go into detail.

We don't need to go into details. And I was. And I fell asleep, and you were laughing the whole time because, like, you didn't even. I didn't even notice. I just shut the light. I woke up, I shut the laptop. The movie was still going I went to bed. I. And then we had great sex. But you were laughing at me because the whole time you're trying to get my attention, and I was.

That's what's so funny. I was like, maybe if I do this. Maybe if I do this. I was, like, trying to be subtle, and then I just started laughing. I was like, I'm, like, half damn near naked. Like, what are you doing? And I was like. At that point, I kind of was like, I'm just gonna roll over. Like, there's not much more I can do. Unless I'm literally like, there's a lot more I can do.

But then it's funny. So I was out enjoying the movie, because the movie's good. But then I fell asleep.

You were tired. You were sexed out. Bam.

I wasn't sexed out. I was a vacation diet. See how I use the terms correctly? I'm never sexed out. Actually, I think I've been sexed out a couple times. Not too many times, though.

Yeah, Sometimes I like. Sometimes it's like, we could have sex, but then I'm like, oh, but if we wait another day or two, it's gonna be even better. You gotta build up sometimes. So the trip was good.

Trip was good.

And the. And then let's talk about the kids.

Okay, so we have any strategy going on with our daughter?

You have no strategy going on.

I got a huge strategy. No strategy throwing her back to wolves.

Yeah. Here's what's gonna go down.

Going back to the wolves.

So Garrett will say things like, we're gonna do this with our kids. But then I'm primarily the person at home every morning. And so you go to the office, But I'm like, with the kids and very involved with the kids. So then I. You'll say things like, we're gonna take Bailey out of her homeschool environment. We're going to send her back to school. And I'm like, cool, let me get it. Let me. I'm going to share how this is going to go down, because now I am going to be dragging her ass out of bed and trying to get her out. And then you're going to say things like, no cell phone, no money, no this and that. And then she's going to complain about how she's anxiety and this and that. And then she's just going to start her routines of crappy eating and sleeping all day. And like. Like. And the funny thing is, it's so hard to limit technology with kids. Like, you could take away their Cell phone. And, like, we did this with Bailey, and, like, she would magically find every freaking iPad in the house. And, like, I. There. There was one point. There was, like, four iPads in her room. I was like, there's one stashed under the bed in the inner side drawer in her dresser. I was, like, losing my mind. I was like, I can't this. She is so much like me in the sense. I'm like, if you tell her she can't have something, she's like, I hear you. Which is, like. Can be a strength later in life. But, God, she's stubborn.

I'm like, did your parents drag you out of bed?

No, I tricked him.

Yeah. Listen, we're living the karma of your existence as a teenager.

So in high school, not mine, I was terrified.

You know what, though?

Yeah.

I, like, I did everything they said to do.

I wasn't terrified of anything.

I added my own activities on top of that. I just made sure I always did what they told me to do so I could do the other activities.

My parents were pretty flexible with me. I was the fifth out of six children, and they were pretty flexible with me. They didn't. I don't think they expected a ton out of me, but I always worked. Like, my parents were like, you either do sports or you work. And I'm like, well, I don't have grades to do sports, so I guess I will work. And I enjoyed working. I was a lifeguard in high school, and I taught little kids swim lessons. And it was fun, and I liked it. But it's funny, because I will do. I'm like, bailey, I'll do it if it's something I enjoy, right? And. And if I can borderline be obsessive with it if it's something that I like. But I was trying to communicate this to our daughter. I'm like, she's like, I don't need high school. I'm like, I agree. High school's total. But you have to learn to learn. Like. And you have to learn how to work, and you have to learn how to get on a routine. And there are so many things where, like, I wish I would have applied myself more in school, because even to this day, I'm like, I can blame my ADD and everything else, and I'm like, I'm a sucky learner. Like, I didn't apply myself in high school. I barely scraped by. Like, as an adult, I was like, man, I gotta relearn a lot of. Because I just coasted by in high school. So Regardless if you think you need high school, like if you're an actual student in high school or college that applies themselves and Goods gets decent grades, I believe that you learn how to learn. So that's what I'm trying to communicate to her. I'm like, I don't care if you're passionate, if you love music and that's the direction you want to go, I can support that. But just because you have a good voice doesn't gonna get you anywhere. Potential doesn't get anybody anywhere. Hard work will always be potential every time.

So where do you draw the line?

I don't know. This is my first teenager, so I'm just kind of like fucking holding on for the ride. I'm like, I'm trying to keep her in the bumper lanes, but secretly being like, oh, you're 18, bye. It's my fun.

Yeah, that's about how we feel. You know what though? We're not the only ones.

I know there's a lot of parents that are like that. It's like, yeah, I love my child, but like she's, she's very hard.

Well, again, what I'm noticing too is if you don't have sports in your life or a passion about some kind of hobby, then you got all this free time. And when you're a teenager, I didn't understand that life. Cause I just was like, football, football, football. I worked into paper at 4:30 in the morning. I went to school by myself. I got to school by myself. I went to football practice after school, came home, I did homework and went to sleep.

You are a very routine person. That's how our little Ruby is. Like you, you just like, you're very routine and you're very disciplined in that way.

Yeah, but we're doing something new.

What are we doing?

We're just gonna let go.

See, but when you say that, when you say that and you're like, we're gonna let go, we're gonna put her in school. I'm like, it's gonna be a madhouse. Like, she's not. I don't know.

We're gonna let her go.

I know, but how I'm.

That's real easy. We're gonna let her go.

I feel like I'm just gonna put you in charge.

I. I already am in charge, but I can't completely.

No, I'm definitely way more in charge.

You like to be involved. I'm in charge.

No, I'm not that involved, actually.

You just told everyone you're involved.

I know I am. Involved. But I'm like, I feel like I am home more, and I see more.

You're definitely home more.

And I feel like what happens is you make decisions, and I'm like, okay, I can support that. But then I have the backlash of the decisions that you make. I'm like, it's really similar.

We got four variables we're dealing with. Cell phone, friends, money, car. Those are our bartering chips.

Well, I'm excited to see how you handle this.

It's gonna be great.

Okay.

Yeah. Do you know why it's gonna be great? Because God told me to do it.

Because God told you to do it.

Yep.

Did God tell you to wake her up in the morning and get her off to school?

He didn't tell me doing that. I said, let go. Too many voices in her life. She didn't have enough. She did not have space around her for me to get a hold of her. Let her fall on her face, and I'll pick her up. I'm like, okay, there we go. Off you go. Good luck. Because the reality is, nobody babysat me, like, when I was a kid, nobody babysit me. The reason why I became who I am is because of how many times I fell down and got back up. So it's like, if you take away the opportunity for a child to fall down, they can't ever find the feel of power of getting back up. Right. If you take away the opportunity for them to really fuck things up and, you know, I mean, it's a rough line. I get it. But we're past the middle school window. She's almost 16 years old.

Yeah.

I think we got a lot more railings on the rest of the kids, meaning we didn't really know what we were doing this first kid. But every first kid gets a blessing and the cur. The first kick. It's a blessing of the pressure and the intensity, and they get the curse of it.

I think it's, like, personality based. Like, some kids. Like, I feel like I trust Ruby more than I would with Bailey with, like, our baby. You know what I mean? With Charlie, it's like. It's like. It's personality. So you can say, like, yes, I believe how you were raised dictates certain patterns and behavior. But literally, like, there's. There's DNA chips in all of us. That is why we are the way we are. And Bailey, to me, is that person where I'm like, I can't. I mean, I could never understand what my parents would be like, like, how they treated each kid. Different. You know what I mean? I'd always be like, well, Nate didn't get that consequence. Well, Nate didn't get that. And they'd be like, well, Nate's not you. And I was like, whoa. What? You know what I mean? Like, every kid is different. Like, they just are. So it doesn't. Like, there's certain things that I'll give Ruby that I won't give Bailey because Bailey's crazy. So I. I hear you. Like, I hear you. But I also am like, I. And I agree, like, she needs to experience that on her own. But I also think I'm like, I'm also like, Bailey's like, my kid. That's like a few chips off. Off. Like, Like, I feel like I need to put on extra high bumper rails so she doesn't go so far off the clip to cliff to, like, hurt herself. Do you know what I mean? But I understand, like, the element of, like, letting go. I'm just expressing as a mom, like, but her crazy.

Her crazy gift, right? You're crazy. You're crazy.

You're crazy.

Of course I am. I didn't say I wasn't. So, like, her crazies are gift, right? So, like, you can't figure out you're crazy if you haven't had a chance to create with it. And you can't figure out what to create if you haven't it up.

So what is. Okay, so here's. Here's the thing. So Bailey got diagnosed as bipolar. I've told you since the day I met you, you're bipolar. Of course I am positive.

You are more than that. I'm nine. Four. Stop. Stop downplaying my greatness.

That's not a thing. So how.

Nine personalities.

So, so then I told Bailey, I, I. We've been very. From the time she was like, three years old. I remember coming to me like, She's. I don't know. She's. I can't do this. This is really hard for me as a mom. I'm not sure what to do. I think we should have her looked at. I think we should have her analyzed, maybe do medic. That's the cop out. That's. That's what people do when they don't want to parent. Like, I don't want to do that. And I'm like, okay. So I felt like I was on this fight with you for our daughter. But also, like, again, like, I was like, I don't think you understand because then I had Ruby, and Ruby was a good kid and pretty chill. And Bailey went from, like, zero to, like, a million. And I was like, oh. I was like, the lights. It was like having a toddler. But, like, still as a teenager, she's like a toddler. Like, something can set her off. And it's like, whoa. I'm like, is this Jekyll or Hyde? Who do I have today? And I'm a pretty, like, grounded person. And so I can. I have a high capacity, and I can. I can take on a lot of energy and that kind of thing, and I can stay pretty chill and pretty grounded. But for my daughter, I felt like I needed to help her. Like, I can't express to you, like, Garrett. Like, it would be like, the light. Well, I can and I have, but it was like, the lights would go out and I'd be like, where's my Bailey? Where's my Bailey? Where'd she go? And. And finally, you know, she went through wilderness boarding school last year. She's gone through a lot of therapy. No one's ever told me she's bipolar. And then recently, her psychiatrist that she's been working with said, I think you're bipolar. They put her on some medic for bipolar ness. And I said, bailey, how. Let me finish this thought. I said, bailey, how do you feel on this? And she said to me, I feel good. At first, I was worried it was going to affect my gifts and. And I wouldn't be me anymore, right? And she said, I didn't know it wasn't normal to cry two or three times a day. I was like, you cry two or three times a day? And yes, I do think she exaggerates everything she says, but she was like, I didn't know it wasn't normal to always have, like. Like, she was just expressing to me things that she was like. Like, wow, I, like, feel like me still. But now I'm not experiencing these, like, crazy high lows, and I can tell when she doesn't take them. And so I think that, like, I. I agree with you in the sense that, like, my craziness of, like, just getting obsessed with things and, like, being really hard on myself is like, it can be good and it can be bad, right? I can use it into work into myself, into my body, into, like, anything I'm doing, and it can give me a really great outcome. But on the flip side, it's like, I'm always fucking tired and I can't turn my brain off, right? So it's like, how do you take something like that where it is your blessing and your Curse and teach your daughter how to navigate through that.

Let her go. You give her a chance to figure it out. She's saying she's a powerful girl, super powerful. And we've given her all the tools, all the talents. God gave her talents, and we gave her tools, and Marilyn would just love her. Give her a chance to figure it out. She's got some new boys. I like her.

Gee.

Or is it big boy? She's kid's like NFL bound.

She's like a crazy little horny teenager is what she is.

You know what, though? They all are.

They all are.

Were you a horny teenager?

Probably not. Real.

No. Probably. You were horny. You were a super horny teenager. Were you like, a high level horny teenager?

How's your podcast with Keith going?

It's great. It's going really, really good.

Why are you guys doing this like, once a week?

Yeah, it's male perspective. Marigame podcast. It's going well. Keith and I get to talk about some, like, you know, the guy side of things. And here, here you and I get to talk about the guy girl thing, which tends to lead to sex all the time.

Okay. Give the listeners what they want to hear, I guess.

Well, here's the reality. I mean, if sex works out well in a marriage, it gives you a whole lot. If you have sex and money figured out, marriage, you can work on a whole lot of other things. Like most marriages, most relationships. Never get past those two topics. There's always a fight about sex or a fight about money. And if you're always fighting about sex, you're fighting about money. What your whole life becomes simply about trying to survive inside the conversation of sex and money. If you got those two things figured out, like, the whole world opens up with opportunity. Because now it's like, what do you want to create now? What do you want to co create now? What do you want to be about?

Our next chapter is what are we co creating? I don't know.

That's exactly it. You were a little spicy with me a few nights ago. You were super open to me one night, and then you were so working with my company.

Like, I'm like, Like, I don't know if I can let you back in, but I feel like there's, like, this other chapter that we need to explore.

I know. Tell me about this ptsd. Because it's real.

Is. It is real.

I might as well just deal with it right now on the show.

I tell you why. I had PTSD for, like, two years while you were in My business. And you were helping me get it going. I got to hear how it was just an annoyance to you, and it made no money. And it was. And it was this and that. And then when I actually looked what was going on in my own business, which, again, my fault, I kind of, like, handed over to you because I was overwhelmed and stressed, and I think I lacked the certainty to actually do what you were doing on my own. It's not that I couldn't do it on my own. I lacked the certainty to get it.

Going, which means you couldn't do it.

Sure.

It's not a change. No. But look at that. It's not even a function of skill. It's a function of certainty.

Right.

And the willingness to go.

And I probably didn't. I was like, I don't know what to do. But it's not that you knew exactly what to do, but you were certain.

I had the certainty. You did not have. You had the skills I did not have.

Right. So then I have you step in heavily with my business for two years, but I almost felt like I was, like, beaten down on the sidelines. Like, it was like, your business sucks. Your business is this. Like, I just was like. And even my teams were like, oh. Like, it just. It was, like, kind of rough. You know what I mean? And then I came in. I literally, like, restructured everything, and our profitability, like, skyrocketed. I think then you started to have more respect for my business. Then you were like, oh, there is some money in this. And I. I was really proud with, like, the direction that I took it. And I felt like you kept saying, like, you. You're welcome for those two years, and would get so pissed because in that. In those two years, although, like, you were heavily involved, I just felt like I was being told that my business sucked. It doesn't pay the bills. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. And I had to, like, believe in the vision enough to be like, no, it matters. We're doing this. I don't care. And then it got to this place where you're like, I'm done. I gotta step back into Warrior. I will burn this to the ground. And I was like, hell, no. And I was like, just found out I was pregnant with Isla at the time. And that's when I came back in and got more involved. And I had to almost win the respect back. Back of some of my employees three and a half years ago because you had trained them. So anyways, like, so even when, like, you want to come in. Like, I think there's things that you can add value in the DKW side, but I just kind of felt like a beaten puppy dog for two years, and I'm like, I don't know if I can let you back in. Like, I was told my company sucked. It didn't produce, it didn't do this, it didn't do that. But yet you were in charge. So is that my fault? Like, I, Like, I was. I'm still, like, a little bit, like, sure by it. Like, I'm like, I don't know it, like, and I feel like I'm like, I. I built the skills up. I built my. My company up, and then I'm still building it, and I'm still kind of, like, figuring stuff out. But what I realized too is like, I'm like, okay, even though I'm like, I want you to come back in, and I value everything you're doing. With Warrior, like, I'm. My teams are like, please don't let it back in. Please don't let them back in. I'm like, okay. So then I'm always constantly trying to, like, figure it out with just the resources that we have and let my team understand, like. Like, we don't need that. And even though you said something interesting, you're like, in my journey, it said that DKW is losing its heart and soul. And I thought, oh, my God, maybe it is. But then I realized, like, anytime you start with a small company and you grow the originals, and I'm sure with Warrior 2, they always feel like you lost a piece of Warrior. You're not the original Warrior. But then in scaling or growing, you're gonna attract a whole different audience. And if you limit yourself to the this small people, you know that, like, don't. Like, when you scale and you grow, then your impact becomes smaller than what it could actually be. So it's not that it loses the heart and soul, but it. It adapts so that I believe that we can help and affect more artists.

I agree.

So anyways, that's. That's my. That's my two second frustration. And yes, after a few drinks and tequila, it comes out a lot less calm.

Well, I mean, you're crying one night.

Yeah.

And about me being involved, and then the next night you're yelling at me. So I was like, man, this tequila needs to make up its fucking mind.

She did. She did.

I'm like, are you wanting me back in or are you now yelling me to get out?

And this is what.

Please come back in. I'm like, okay, I thought about it. I'll be back in.

And you're like, fuck you.

Just kidding. Don't come back. Get him.

This is where my landing point came is. Danielle, you need to continue. I'm talking to myself, the third person, but I was like, I need to continue to grow and push my business. I need to understand that I have the certainty, the confidence, I'm steering this fucking ship. And if we come back and do something together, it's going to be because we're both now full throttle throttling our own businesses, and we can continue to rise together, and then we can just keep creating our own thing together. It doesn't necessarily like I have to step over in a Warrior or you have to step over into dkw, but there are things being obviously married where it's like, you created the Stack. We utilize that with all of our artists, and it's a phenomenal tool. Does that mean that Garrett J. White has to come over and train on the Stack? No, but does it mean I'm like, hey, I figured you're. I. We have this amazing software and I want to use it. Cool. I will kind of implement things that you. That's how I look at it as like, you coming back into my business comes in the back, back in the form of, like, you keep plowing forward with Warrior, and then you guys share what's working with Warrior and I implement it.

So I don't spend all the money to figure everything out and then give.

You the hacks you do.

Oh, good. So I build your business. I. I'm just. I'm just saying this. That's what you're telling me. I go spend all the money on research, development, software, ad teams, software program systems, process people, executives, team. Then you guys take the best of the best ever. I've spent millions to figure it out. You figure it out and then all of a sudden, you hit a home run because I tell you exactly what.

Pitch to swing on. The only thing we use of yours is the Stack.

Oh, no, no. You use my executive teams and anybody else on the backside to lead your teams.

No, I don't.

Who's Jeff?

Jeff. Jeff is the only other person I use.

You notice how you stutter there? Listen, here's the deal. We're going to.

Being rude.

We're not being rude at all. Here's the piece you're looking at. I think that you come at me about my ego. I think that you got a little bit of Ego in this. Your PTSD allows your ego to be in charge.

I do. Because I feel like you're kind of rude about it. And you're like, I built all this shit.

I'm like, you're not even say, built all this. That's where you always do it. You're doing the generality thing you always do. Again, I like this spicy. It's been a while since we had a spicy show.

All right.

It's not about sex. Seriously, you got a little ego with your ptsd?

I do, because I'm like. I don't think I could actually like. And even my teams, they're like. I'm like, hey, Garrett has some good ideas. And they're like. I'm like, okay.

Do you know why your team's like, ah. You know why? Because your teams are very comfortable.

Well, we're keep making pretty big.

You're making good money, and you're moving exponentially slow compared to the way you currently could.

We probably could move faster.

You 100 could.

But as much as I am involved and as much as I want to, it's Monday.

Where's your teams at? It's Monday. Where they at?

They're having. It's salon hair.

Yeah, exactly. That's a hard job, getting my hair done on Mondays. Welcome to my hard job.

They do that every eight weeks. You don't need to.

I'm just. I'm just saying, like, you know, it's not like, what are I talking about? I don't see anybody screaming, running around, losing their minds around here. I see them all the time. What I'm saying is this. You could have a $100 million business in the next two years, or you could have a $10 million business.

I've been saying that about a warrior from the beginning. Beginning?

Yeah. Well, I do have that.

Do you?

Yeah.

You do 100 million dollar business?

No, not quite.

Or an idea now.

Because half my teams are always supporting yours.

Really? No, I think, you know, I was wondering, legitimately, 100 million dollar company. A long time ago, legitimately, I actually tried to get into your company. I was like, hey, do you want. I'm like, I feel like I'm a pretty valuable player. I think I can hang with the guys. I'm like, I think I see things, you know, a little bit differently.

You showed up as a consultant for, like, one month.

No, I. I literally kind of told you guys some ideas and some feedback and that nobody gave a. And I was like, okay, cool. I don't care.

That's what Happens when you just show up as a consultant.

Well, no, I was getting involved. I was like, hey. I like. I'm like, do you want to give me a project? You want me to take this on? I was like, let me take this on for like, a month. I'll do this. Let me show you what I can do. And there was like, what project did you take on? I told you I'd take on helping you plan out your social media calendar.

Did you plan it out for me?

You said, no. You're like, nah, I like it. To post whatever I want, whenever I want. It's just me. I'm like, okay, that's fine. So I did offer to kind of help on that level because I feel like that's something I'm good at. And you were like, no, know.

I was like, okay, got it.

So turns out we're not going to come into each other's businesses because you don't want me in yours, and I don't want you in mine.

But you can go mine all you want.

Really?

Yeah.

No.

Yeah.

What do you want me to do?

What do you want to do?

I gave you one idea and you shot it down.

Okay, cool. Come in and train the wives. Come in and train the wives and.

Girlfriends of systems and, like, restructuring things.

I get it. I'm not saying you're not. I'm not saying you're not great at that. I'm an accelerator. You're a refinery. Refiners don't know how to accelerate anything. They know how to refine. What is. Accelerators know how to create ideas from nothing, turn them into millions, but they can't keep them because they're not refiners. You're a refiner. I'm an accelerator. The minute you accept that, I'm a.

Pretty good quick start, too, though.

I'm not saying you're not a good quick start. I get dirty in ways you don't get dirty. Unless, of course, we're talking about over there. And then over there, you get way dirtier than I do.

No, you. You. You definitely.

You don't even like when I'm dirty over there.

What?

You're like, stop being dirty.

I'm so confused where this is even going right now. My brain's, like, thinking, oh, I'm just.

Reframing you to keep you from not being super angry and leaving the show.

That's true. Don't trigger me.

Listen, listen. If God came to you and said, hey, DKW is yours, meaning yours and your husband's, it's Ours.

It already is.

I know. Okay, so if we operate from that place, ours.

I just. This is what I got really triggered out in Cancun is it was like you said something to where we're like. Like, it was like very, like we're competing, like, well, you're welcome for. And I was like, we're on the same team. Like, I understand we have individual businesses, but like I've told you, like, what's mine is yours, what's yours is mine. That's great. That doesn't mean I need you to step over into my business. But like, we are co producers in this together. That's why, like a couple weeks ago in Punta Mita, I was like, you're my person. Like, I just kind of had to get to this place where, like, I submit, I'm like, you're my person through thick and thin, whether I fucking hate you or I love you. Like, we have so much richness, we have so much history. Like, we have a lot of PC PTSD together on different topics. I was like, you're my person. So then I feel like I can have conversations. And that doesn't mean I'm not human and gonna get triggered. But it's not like I'm like him.

I'm over it.

I'm done. I'm done again.

So let's. Let's pretend like I had easily enough money to pay for all of our lifestyle, which I do was pretend like I had easily enough life without your money. And I had set up Warrior in a way that allowed me to be involved less than 10 hours a week.

It'd be good.

What would you want me to do? Do?

That's what I do.

Surf. I mean, it's good waves today. I could just go surf on the afternoons.

That's what I do. I've set up my business where I'm involved probably about 10 hours a week and still grows. And so we just be.

We Both just work 10 hours a week. And then what we do is we.

Were tired, we're like, woo.

We can't have any more babies. That's what we do. We just have sex to go shopping, get our nails done.

Maybe when you, when you get to your place in your business, where I'm at and mine, as far as time commitment goes, you let me know because, okay, it's fun. Because then you can choose to work with and on projects that you genuinely want to be there. You're like, God, I got a lot of extra time, but I really value that extra time because I had to work my ass off for the last two decades to get this valuable pocket. And I'm always one that wants to stay busy and keep doing stuff. So I don't know, like, I like to be involved. I think right now, for me, because I have brand new Charlie and Isla, still little. Like, I like to pour that extra time into, not necessarily, like, creating a new business. Although recently I kind of want to get my real estate license. License. But it was more like I was like, this is. You worked really hard and you had your first two kids and you have momentum. You need to still stay. I keep, you know, my message is like, I still want to be involved. I still want to be the rudder of my companies. I don't want to step so far out to where I lose the.

The connection, relevancy.

The connection and just the respect from my teams. Right. But I also have two young children where they're so yummy. And I want to. I don't want to miss that window either. So right now, for me in life, I feel like I'm in a really solid space. I'm like, I'm really enjoying life. Like, it's great. And I know when I teeter on the side of, like, okay, not enough mom time, too much work time, too much tequila time, too much this time. And I feel like I'm pretty well balanced with you. I don't think you've ever allowed yourself permission to have that kind of space. I think it scares you. So I think in your mind, you think you need that. You're like, I gotta work 80 hours a week. Which is a great quality. It's like one of the things I saw when I first met you. I was like, this guy is a fucking workhorse, which is great. Like, I was like, I don't care what he does. He will be successful whatever he does. Because you have really strong work ethic, right? But work ethic that, like, kind of could be condensed and consolidated or prioritized differently will actually free up more space to do bigger shit, I believe. So even though my free time is like, really being a mama bear to my kids and my other kids are approaching teenage years, I know that's what I have created my space for. And I value that time. So. So I know you. I honestly genuinely believe you're a little bit scared to have that time. But you're. I'm telling you right now, you'll make moves you've never made before when your time is that much more valuable and you worked your ass off to create that space. And you're not on the hamster wheel of time anymore.

Yeah, I agree with you. So I'll meet you naked in a hot tub. Christmas Eve, Park City.

When does this happen? I'm excited for this.

10 hours a week in Park City with you.

Why are you naked?

Because we're in a hot dog tub.

Okay.

Kids are asleep. We're in the hot tub. We're naked. Snow's falling. We're just staring at each other with the glow of the light off the hot tub.

And so you're saying by Christmas you're only in work.

Yeah. And then we're having. Then we're going to have this conversation. So I'll just go to work.

Do you have an actual map of how you're going to get lots of maps but you don't need lots.

I need lots of maps to get myself out.

I would consider condense those maps. Too many maps.

You can easily condense maps. Because I go create 10 of them, figure out who work and then give them to.

Don't over complicate things. There's no reason to do that. Just pick two maps. Apps, sometimes down to one.

Sometimes I wish I had a Garrett in my life. I. Garrett worked for me. I could get it.

I have a Garrett.

I know. I wished I had a Garrett. That work for me? Yeah. Sometimes I wish I was married to myself.

That's good for you. It's exciting. Way to end the show.

That's somebody who has had somebody who.

Was like, sometimes I wish I was married to myself.

Sometimes I wish. Welcome to Date youi podcast. Sometimes I wish I was married to myself. Now it sounds like an offensive thing. Like I'm upset. It's just. I'm saying there.

There's why everybody wants to double them. They're like, it'd be awesome if I had two but me. Would it be weird having sex with yourself? Yeah. Actually not.

You already have sex with yourself. You have sex with yourself. It's not a problem. I think occasionally when you're trying to, you know, we're going on a cruise tonight or a little yacht cruise tonight.

Y. I got. I. I got a spray tan.

You went spray tanned yourself?

Yeah, because I was sunburned and I was like, it looks gross. So I just. A little. A little.

A little mist. Who. Who sprayed you? Ruby, you got a new sprayer in the house. You sprayed me.

I know. It was fun.

Yeah.

That was so funny. It was so funny to see you and Parker next to each other. And Parker's like, maybe I can get A tan. I was like, no, Parker, that's a spray car wash. Like, no, Parker, you cannot. You're even more fair than your dad. You cannot get a spray tan.

Yeah, it feels nice to get a spray tan, though.

You like the apps look nice, right?

Yeah.

I saw you filming yourself the whole trip. You were like, okay, any opportunity to unbutton that shirt a little bit?

Any opportunity. I was like, you like that, though?

I laugh. I laugh.

You laugh? What, you like it?

I laugh when I can tell you are, like, filled, all sexy. Cause I'm like, I think you're the sexiest when you don't know you're sexy. Like, when you're not actually, like, trying, like, I'll be like, it's really fucking cute right now. But, like, when you're trying to be rique, suave, and you're like, I'm buttoning your shirt. You're like, hey, babe.

I'm like, you're just talking about the photo shoot. That's all. Otherwise, besides that, I was, like, rocking it.

No, you looked at me.

I did have a moment where I was trying to be sexy, but I didn't know how that worked when you did that.

Sometimes I do that too. Sometimes I.

Sometimes. You do that all the time.

No, Sometimes.

That's like, every single one of your reels on Instagram every week.

Sometimes. Sometimes I'm not trying to be sexy. Sexy. And then my team calls me out and they're like, this is creepy. You need to delete it.

I'm like, oh, yeah, you did some sexual reels, didn't you? Without even trying to be.

I didn't even mean to. They're like, no, Danielle, there's. They always say, there's guy hot. There's girl hot. You're trying to be guy hot right now. I'm like, oh, no. I was like. I was curious. When Garrett texted me, I was like, I loved your last reel. And I was like. Then I went back and watched it, and I was like, huh? Yeah, I'm gonna delete that.

Oh, well, listen, we got really proud of your real. Thank you. I did a real by myself today. Yeah, it was a real. Real.

Is it real Real.

I'm actually famous on Tik Tok. Did you know this?

No, you're not.

Yeah, I am. One of. One of my first posts on Tik Tok has over almost a million views.

You don't even have a Tik Tok account.

I don't, but Keith does from Air Game, and he put it off. Put a clip of Us on there. And I was almost a million views in three days.

Keith is famous.

I'm the one talking the whole time.

Let me see this.

It's on Tik Tok. Do you have Tik Tok?

I don't. I do have Tik Tok.

You do?

I never use it.

All right, well, I don't even have Tik Tok, so I can't even.

So what people do is they create a T. So then you.

Ow.

Then you just. My foot just fell asleep. You create, like, dual reels, basically, but one's like a TikTok, and then you share it as a reel on your Instagram and it's.

Well, you create a TikTok and then share it as a reel on Instagram. So you do two.

No, you do one.

Oh. You do one on TikTok.

It's like you double up.

So it's like sharing on Instagram and sharing to Facebook.

Yeah. So you go do. I should do TikToks. I just don't. It seems like an extra step. So you do a TikTok.

Isn't it the same as a real.

It's literally the exact same.

So it's not harder than. So why don't you just do a TikTok?

I know. Because I don't have a following on TikTok. So part of me is like, why would I famous?

And you want.

You don't have an account, so you're automatically less famous.

I do.

Okay.

I have. I have people following.

You don't have a Tick Tock account.

She don't have more followers than you on Instagram.

Nada.

You can't count your business. Danielle's in Scarrett. Danielle.

My hair page was my first one. I started.

Hair page is natural. Be Rose. It's not. It's not Danielle.

It's primarily 90% of my work.

It's not you.

Why are you always competing, Garrett?

I'm just saying right now we're in the spirit. In the spirit of competition and be free in the spirit of competition. I am boring.

I'm gonna rub your boobs.

Actually. Feels nice. I know. Made my life.

You know how I feel.

So, last topic.

Oh, we're still going. Okay.

How you feeling about the new breasts?

They're pretty covered up today, but.

No, but. How you feeling about them, though?

They're good. They're squishy, soft, big.

Was it worth the pain?

That was the most painful thing. I mean, I've had four kids, and that was really painful.

Was it more painful than birth?

No. But it was painful. It was rough. It was like, it. The recovery for that, I would say was like, almost the same as birth, other than you have to like, lose weight. But, like, it was rough. Like, I was like.

But feeling good now?

Yeah, they, they, they're big.

Yeah, they're great.

I feel like I'm like such a conservative person. And now I'm like, wow, those are fun.

I really like them.

I'm sure you do. Why are we. That's your final topic is my wife's boobs.

No. Here's my final, final topic. Okay, so we have, We've got. We've kind of gone through the surges, which is kind of weird. It's a weird phase to be in where we went to Punta Me, we're together for like a week straight, then we come back, and then I go on a plant medicine journey. And then I come back and then we go to Mexico with the kids for a week. And in all that time, we haven't actually had like a date night. Date night. Like, in our normal jam.

Yeah.

And we've had a date night. We're in Mexico a couple times.

Yeah, that was fun.

But, like, it was, it was different.

I think that you and I both were. We like being on our routine and then like, I think the different. Okay, here's the difference. With the date night vacations, it's like every night's like a vacation and family date night at party, party, party. Whereas, like, date nights are very meaningful for you and I because we both go really hard in our businesses and with the kids. So it's like when you do that for a full week and then you sit down and you're like, ah, you know, it's like you just get like, breathe and like, reconnect and that kind of thing. And honestly, like, people that tell me they don't have date nights or they can't afford it or they only do it once a month, I'm like, how's your marriage? Seriously, like, even if you're like. Or if, like, the husband's traveling a lot or the wife's traveling a lot or whatever it is, like, that can. That's hard. Do you know what I mean? It's hard not to have that, that, that normal routine and then have those, those moments together.

Very rough. So it works out for date night this week. We're kind of going on a date night tonight.

I know, but it's not like you and I. Like, that's why when you have friends that are like, hey, so and so Wants to go out. I'm always like, God, I really just value. If they do, then we have to pick up a second date night this week. Because I'm like, I really value just you and I. I don't care if it's a fancy restaurant, although I do like that because I like getting dressed up or if it's like, just kind of like something casual. Like, I don't care, but I just need that time with you and I together.

Yeah. So how many times are gonna be you and I and five guys?

Why am I the only girl? I thought you said Jesse's going.

Jesse's going with Keith, but they're going their own car.

Okay.

I was like, oh, there'll be a couple girls. Couple girls. I don't know if Ed, my last friend, and his wife.

I, I don't. I thought it'd be fun to go. Like you said, it's like an entrepreneur cruise thingy.

It's our pastor, Pastor Mark, and then some guys from church. It's a Christian entrepreneur yacht cruise Cruise. There's like 30 guys.

What if you're not Christian?

Can you go, are you Christian?

I'm. I. I don't know.

I don't think you are. I think you're kind of, like, in, like, in your own spot, though. It's good. Yeah, it's a great spot to be in.

Yeah.

I'm Christian, but not, like, the Christian way.

Christians, I think people assume, like, they'll follow you on social media and you're like, very, like, are you Christian? What are you?

Yeah, but not like, Like, I don't operate as a Christian the way most Christians operate.

But you're very, like, preachy, I would say. Like, you're always preaching scriptures and Christ and God.

Preaching scriptures. I tell stories. I tell stories from scripture.

Think, people think. But you're very educated in that kind of stuff like that. Like, people always ask me, like, where do you stand with politics? Or where do you stand, you know, with God and religion? I'm like, hey, honestly, I, I. Everyone assumes I'm as passionate as you are, and I'm like, I'm really not. And it's mainly because I. I do feel like I'm in a pretty, like, good space with myself. But also I'm like, I'm not going to be that person that chimes in about some kind of political whatever if I'm not well educated in it. Like, I'm just not going to do that. Like, I'll kind of sit on the sidelines and observes and observe and have my like little opinions about things. But if I'm not educated I'm not going to go on social media or anything and like profess anything. However you are, you're always reading, you're always like learning, you're always like you're, you're a very well educated man and you went on a two year mission so you're even very well educated inside of scriptures. Whereas like I was never really involved in the Mormon church. I mean I went because my parents made me go and that kind of thing. But I would never say I, I knew the ins and outs of being Mormon. Like I felt like I, I kind of did like the checklist and got married in the temple and did all that things but I never felt like Mormon. Do you know what I mean? I wasn't well versed in the doctrine of what it meant to be Mormon but I'm that type of person that I'm very much like in tuned and I very much feel the spirit around people and energy and like I'm very, very like if God tells me to go, I'm like go. If God says I'm going to use you to communicate a message to people, I'm like, I trust that. I believe that. Do you know what I mean? So that's where like I have a lot of trust in myself when it comes to that kind of thing, thing. But I'm not like very, I'm not like a studious person by any with.

Scripture in that I might get interesting. Like I have deep, deep, deep communion with Christ. But the church is still and somebody said listen to church is not the church is not the organization structure. The church is the body of followers of Christ. But like I don't, I don't follow the game the way that most Christians follow it. Most of what people follow is Christianity is like this little boxed up church game. And I don't really subscribe to the church box up church game at all. I mean I enjoy it. Pastor Mark's amazing Ocean Church is great but even in that frame there's just a lot of stuff that's just very, it's about structure and organization which is great, has nothing to do with Christ, has nothing to do with fallen Christ at all.

I think I have a hard time with any kind of like church or religion or whatever because I feel like a lot of it is very guilt operated.

Yeah.

And I think, I think that guilt is a friendly reminder. Like I've, I've told you this before. Like I think a lot of people guilt is fine. It's a friendly reminder of like, hey, you took it out of your capacity or your whatever you're feeling bad about. But it's, it should be a reminder, not a place to live in. Because what happens is people like live in this space of guilt to where then they want to take a 180 and they're like, I'm gonna like, it's like doing 75 hard. Or like they want to do a juice cleanse. Because it's like they're, they're feeling so guilty that they want to like go.

In this opposite direction, do something extreme, the other direction.

So then the problem is, is then they like go extreme for a second, but then they dip lower to even that original feeling of guilt. And they just keep living in this low level of consciousness.

Basically, when that, that's, that's, I mean, that scene for me. So when people talk to me, they're like, well, you know, Gary doesn't say this in the Bible. I'm like, well, it does. And they're like, well, it doesn't say this. I said, no, no, you don't want to see what it says. And they're like, well, this is what it means. I was like, that's what you say it means. The funny part is with theologians and the rest of what goes on in with church and church and religion etc, is the fact they all describe disagree. So depending on the denomination, depending on the angle, you take the same scripture in Bible and It's like interpreted 19 different ways, right? That's why a lot of people trying to reference the Bible, use 15 to 18 different versions of the Bible, trying to just help people understand what the hell's going on here. And in the end, the most important revelation is direct revelation.

I was going to say, you know.

What'S crazy directly with God?

And you could take one message and you could take two people sharing one message. And based on where you're at and who's communicating that message is how it's responsible received. Like, you could literally like, it's like, it's like when you're texting, you don't have an emoji. People are like, oh, you're bad. Do you know what I mean? But then you have an emoji. But it also depends on who's reading that. So that's where I'm like, I don't think that's a problem to have different versions of whatever. I don't think it's problem because people hear what they need to hear in that moment to Help them in that moment. Like you'll hear have people all the time, whether it's church or anything, say like, wow, that really resonated with me because they needed to hear that in that moment moment. And it was delivered better through me than you or you than me or this pastor or that pastor, whatever it is. It's like that's where you kind of have to find your, like what's going to help you and listen to that. That spirit is will. That spirit will deliver what you need to hear. I believe through whoever.

So my final statement idea on this, simply this. I am a follower of Christ, but I'm not a follower of church. I participate occasionally in the church game. I enjoy it. There's some elements of it that are fun.

Yeah.

And they're really good. But my relationship is not with the church. My relationship is not with the Bible. My relationship was with Christ and it transcends all of the rest of those relationships, including the Bible. People are like, oh, you can't do the Bible, Zeke. No. Christ existed before the Bible. Bible was written 30 years after Jesus. So Jesus existed before the Bible. Bible didn't create Christ. The end. Right. So for me, the direct communion that Adam speaks about in the book of Genesis, that's what I'm looking at. That's why I'm after. So whatever's useful to help me get there, I'll use it. Right. So if you're going to church or going to worship music or you know, going on a yacht cruise with a bunch of Christian entrepreneurs tonight, I support them. I don't see the world the way that all of them see it, but they all don't see it the same either.

Right?

Right. I put my friends there. Jehovah's Witness, Mormon, Catholic, Southern Baptist, non denominational, evangelical, Pentecostal. Put them all in the same room, read the same Bible and they'll read it differently. So I'm glad all you of them excited because at the end of the day, if you just, if you just go to the root of what the whole game is, there's Christ. That's it. The rest of it is all frosting. That's it. It's all frosting. Right. So this is what it is. My wife, my wife's find her bath. She's always found her path. I think she had the path figured out long before I did. My path is like what it is. So people watch my path open up. They watch our path open up and they're inspired by it. That's why we're so Open about it, open to our lives about it.

I think that you and I, I always say, I'm like, we're living in the pocket. And I think that if you're open to listening to whether you want to, say Christ or God or your higher self or the spirit or whatever, if you're open to listening, that and following, it's cool. It's like, you can. You're literally like, writing in this. This. This pocket of life. And people are like, well, how did. How did you do that? You're like, well, I just kept listening. I just kept listening. When I didn't listen, I kind of, like, went back a little bit, and then I started listening again, you know, And I just think that's what's life about is like, you can fall on your face so many times to where you're like, that's hard. And this is tired. And I'm tired of feeling this way. And I'm tired of, like, we've gotten the results. Results that we have in our life and our business and our marriage and everything else, because we just, we. We fell on our face a lot, probably for. For a solid like 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 years to where it's just like both of us, you have to choose, like, you got to do something different. Like, this is exhausting. And I think that oftentimes we're afraid of what's next because we already think, well, I'm already tired here. How can I experience more? But when do you get tired of being in that painful place or that victim mentality where it's like, listen, listen, listen. I'm trying to dig you out of the ditch right now. I'm trying to, but you just keep digging yourself back in the fucking ditch. And so you kind of have to get to this place where you're like, I'm going to trust, I'm going to have faith, I'm going to believe, and I'm going to listen. And when you do that, things unlock opportunities, unlock people and communication and conversations, unlock to where you're like, wow. And God literally can pour through you and direct you because he's like, I've got. I've got a winner down there. She's on the right path. Like, throw her information, give her people, give her opportunities. She's in the fucking pocket. Like, I don't know how to describe it, but, like, for me, that's how I see it. It's like, if you just keep listening, God will keep giving you opportunities, but you'll never see an opportunity that you didn't prepare for and that you weren't ready for.

Bradley dropping bombs. That was a bomb sound. That was amazing. All right, we're gonna wrap the show up. Listen, we got Warrior Con 4 coming up here in October. October 26, 27. So 8 to 29th. This is a multi use experience, which means we'll have about 200 guys in person in Vegas at the Warrior Studios and then the rest 10,000 guys and gals on virtual. So it's gonna be open to men and women on the virtual experience, but will be only men only indoors at the event with the 200 or so October 26th through the 29th.

Okay.

Happening in Las Vegas. Yeah, it's happening like three months. So check that out. You get more details@wakeupwarrior.com that's amazing there. And then my wife always feels like.

She'S always like, wait, you got it?

When I say a domain. So now she can say what you want.

No, I have. So I trained thousands of artists on the hair extension technique called natural be to Rose. I have a hairline called Isla. It's actually named after my third baby girl. And we run virtual education every single month. So if you're interested in, if you're a hairstylist specifically, that's the only kind of training I do right now, is for artists behind the chair who want to learn naturally real hair extensions. So we do that once a month. You can go to NBR Education to find out more information on that.

All right, we're out of here. This is Gary J. White and my beautiful wife, a new LA Dodgers fan. Bam.

I love foosball.

Love that foosball. We're out.