The Art of Entrepreneurs in Marriage

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Date UI podcast. We are here in the studio.

Studio. I like to clap Studio.

You seem a little low on. Low on energy, so I was trying to.

No, I'm not low on energy. I'm in angry mode.

I can tell. I'm like. It's like I can feel your body, like, radiating steam. I can see the fire from your eyes.

Yeah, well, not.

It's me, but.

Yeah, well, I think this is the challenge that men face who are married, who have children, who are running companies, who are dealing with pressure, which is you don't like. Women don't tend to sit in the environment that men are in most days. So husband goes to work, he goes to run. He's an executive, he's an entrepreneur, he's out running the game, and he lives in a war zone. Business is a war zone all the time. All the time. Some moments are peaceful, some are not. When you run into chaos and lawsuits and cash management and payroll and all the things that happen, like business goes up and business goes down, when business is going up, you have a different war on your hands. You're dealing with abundant supply, and you're dealing with systems breaking and process breaking and tech breaking, and you're trying to fix things. So there's the pressure of when things are working, and then there's the pressure when things are not working. You have a pressure all the time. There's not. There's a pocket in between where things feel all right. But this nebulous game in the sky of like, being a visionary with an integrator taught by Eos exists for very few entrepreneurs.

An integrator. Say that again.

An integrator and a visionary. Like you're a visionary. I'm a visionary, but I'm a visionary operator. You, a visionary sort of operator. Like, you operate, but there's also, like, a lot of support teams around. There's like, an ability for you to operate as a visionary more often than me. So I get to operate as a visionary, but I spend most of my day doing shit that has nothing to do with transforming men's lives. It has to do with running the operation and dealing with the business that manages the transformation of men's lives.

But it hasn't always been that way. I think that you are in a season that you're heavily in the operation, and that's not like your genius. And you shouldn't. You shouldn't be in that place. But it's like in a season where you should be in it for now. Because I don't think that you've ever been in a space where in order to advocate or delegate it to somebody else, you kind of have to be in the trenches. Like, there's been a lot of things in my career that I don't want to do, but it's like you're kind of in this space for a season. And I feel like. I feel like, yeah, not to take away the stress that men go through, but you are also in a very particular, different type of stress because you're not in a space that you want to be. You're not in your genius. And that's what's hard for visionaries because we want to be the rock stars all the time. And essentially like, that's like the fun part of it. But.

Well, this exactly was going on. Man Arena Tour. Everyone wants to speak on the Man Arena Tour stage, but nobody wants to build the stage.

Everybody wants to do.

Everybody. It's like I got two messages in the middle of the night last night from big name speakers who were great guys and they said, hey, do you want me to attend the event or do you want me to speak at the event? I said, I don't need you to speak at the event, but if you'd like to come to the event, I'd love to have you at the event, come to it, experience it. That'd be great. We'd love to have you. Like, there's a mile long of people who have a voice and there's a very short list of people willing to build the stage. And there's a long list of people wanting to get on a stage and then there's a very few.

Why do you keep building the stages?

Yeah, well, listen, maybe I should burn it off.

Well, cuz you're such a. Maybe I should stop.

Maybe I should stop building st. Every.

Time I go see like to an event and their speakers, I'm like, Garrett. Garrett is like so much. Not better, but like, you're. You're such a phenomenal speaker. I'm like, why aren't you doing this? Why?

No, I'm better.

But why you always building the stages if you don't like doing it?

Because the stage that I want to be on is the stage I built.

Why don't you let it go?

I could. I could let it go. I've considered letting go many times over 14 years. I can't let it go.

I think you could speak on other people's stages and still spread the message of warrior and man.

I totally, I totally agree I don't disagree with that one.

Maybe you're just meant to build the stage and then you sell the stage and you speak on your own stage that you sell.

I sold the stage to someone else, and it wouldn't be my stage anymore.

Yeah, I know, but you got to build it the way you wanted it. You got to build the stage exactly what you wanted, and then you sell it to somebody who likes owning stages.

I don't know, like, me. I like to own my stage.

That's good. I mean, we did the same thing in the hair world. Like, I wasn't. I was one of the few people who was doing, like, huge hair events, but I never went and spoke on anybody else's stages. I was like, screw you, Then I'll build my own.

Well, for the number of people who can make it to big stages and speak online or digital or hybrid or in person, again, there's a long list of people who can communicate. There's a very short list of people who can communicate and build stages. Like, it's. To do both is, like, an incredibly difficult challenge. Right. But also, like, the fact is, like, I'm in a business where the business is different and people say, no, my business is different. No, legitimately, it's different. The closest people that could relate to what I do at Wake Up Warrior are pastors. Pastors of churches are the closest correlation to what I do. Because if you look at a church, we just had 15 pastors in our event last week, and we're rolling out Warrior to 60 churches right now. We start with pastors in training tomorrow morning.

How do you look at churches?

We have pastors who have engulfed themselves in the Warrior message, and they're changing the way they engage their congregations and the way they lead their people and the way they do their teams.

Because it's not like Warrior in the churches. You're just.

It's Warrior Church operating system, Warrior Church os. It's the biblically backed version of what way Caboya is. So you look at a pastor, a pastor has to spiritually care about their people and financially care about the church, because without the finances, the church cannot continue to spiritually care for the people. Well, where do they get the money for the church? They have to get it from the people. Scientology is just like a Scientology of the church. It's not really a church. I mean, it's a church, but it's like, it's not classified the same. They classified that way for tax purposes. We've dabbled in Scientology. We're experiencing Scientology purif. Right now people hear this and they lose their mind. I was like, dude, I've done psychedelics, I've done a shy meditation. I've studied Buddhism, Hinduism.

They have a hard time.

I've gone down every path of Christianity you could imagine. I believe and know Christ is who he said he was. And yeah, I do. Some Scientology people hear this and they lose their minds over and over again. I'm like, stop losing your mind. There's no reason to lose your mind over it. I'm pursuing truth now. Come into this though. This is where the, the business of breakthrough is. Why right now the coaching space is getting slammed because ChatGPT is completely eliminating 95 of coaches.

Is it eliminating or exposing?

Both. That's how it's eliminating. It's exposing. Well, dude, listen, you can get more information from ChatGPT in one hour. That's pretty sound.

Yeah.

Then you can from 99 of life coaches and pastors.

Yeah, I'm gonna go to my pastor.

I'm gonna go to ChatGPT.

I talked to like, are like, yeah, you know, I asked Chad about it.

And I'm like, completely. Chad's become the new coach.

Yeah. First I thought that everyone was calling him Chad. I'm like, who's Chad?

Who's Chad? So the business of breakthrough, which is what we do in hair too, if you look at what happened in the hair world and what we did for 10 years in the hair world that you're reigniting again, there was spirituality, which is the growth of personal development of hairstylists as women, as artists, as entrepreneurs. And then there's the business side of running that movement like mbr, Warrior, all these, any of these brands where we see a collaboration of two energies. You have the energy of soul and you have the energy of profits. Now, a non profit church is still a for profit organization. They just are classified as a non profit church.

How do you make Warrior non profit?

You are asking questions. People have asked me too. Why don't you turn Warrior into a church and you don't have to worry about it? I was like, no, you'll still have to worry about it. You still have to market, you still have to sell. You still have to do the things. It's just now under the blanket of a nonprofit which has its benefits and its disadvantages. I'm sharing all this because, like, it's always been a complicated game for me with Warrior because I am the standard if I run a software company. Nobody's asking you about your marriage. Hey, I'm checking out your new software for our CRM. I'm going to go high level. I'd like to know about the founder's marriage. I'd like to know about his kids. I'd like to know about his addictions. What are his spiritual thoughts about God. Nobody asks this fucking question. They're like, I want software, give me software. I'm done in the world.

Maybe you're in the wrong line of business. I think I heard insurance does well.

Oh my God, stop with your temptations, woman. That's been just so you know, that's my default answer to everything, which is I love life insurance and I could sell the out of it and I do and I could play.

But you know what? You say that, but you haven't actually. Like, I have dabbled in.

I have that. Well, I've dabbled in from the side, which is referrals and commissions and directionally in the insurance space. Plus I own an insurance company for two years. Compare them. Life, which still operates with Patrick on ho, started in the genesis of our banking days when we opened an insurance company which we thought would be a good idea, which it was. We just didn't anticipate the market crushing us in 2009. Okay, so what does all this have to do with Date your wife. Because this is the shit that goes on in guys all day long. Men are having to problem solve as entrepreneurs. And then we insert this idea of having it all and you're like, you should care about your wife. And dudes are like, bro, I want to care about my wife. But right now I can't fucking hit payroll in two weeks. So let's talk about this challenge in it because you have the pattern for men is so predictable. As entrepreneurs, when the pressure hits, they tend to collapse. They don't collapse and lose the company. They collapse part of their life that they have to. They feel they have to collapse to protect and provide, which is they ignore who Their women, their woman, and their children. And they tend to move away from all spiritual disciplines. Yeah, like it's like this order. They move away from spiritual disciplines, they distance themselves from their wife, and they distance themselves from their children. I watch the. Watch the dichotomy of the woman. Now I want to hear your opinion about this. When the pressure builds with the business, they stop the spiritual disciplines trying to do it on their own. And then they want to have sex because they're under pressure, but they want to have sex to release. But the woman doesn't feel connected because the man has isolated himself into the creation of the business and solving the fucking financial problems. Because in his mind if I don't pay the bills and provide and protect for these people that I'm in charge of my wife and my children, my teams, we're all. So they hunker down, disconnect from God, hunker down. And in their hunkering down, distance themselves from the wife, but still have deep sexual desire to release. Which means that it stops working. So then the rejection stops because she's not feeling seen, she's not feeling heard, she's not feeling connected with. Maybe the date nights are happening. Or even if he is home, he's showing up like this. And then they'll go to tactics, which is drink so they don't blow up. Okay, I'm going to drink just so I don't blow up. But then I'm just a numb statue in the house and I'm still like wanting to be careful.

So what does the guy have to do?

I don't know. What can a girl do to help in this situation? Well, because again, this is not going on. Just, this is not just like we're in a season of oppression for sure. Across all the brands, markets are shifting software.

Well, if I'm just.

Everything is shifting.

Yeah. If I'm just going to share like about us, I feel like since we have moved here, it's like a different kind of pressure. And it's, it's different because it's like we've done, I feel like we're like starting over. But we've done this before, you know, so it's not like we're necessarily starting over. It's just everything in the market, everything's shifting. Like the world is shifting. It's no different than the market crashing like forever ago.

2008, 9.

So for me, like what I am trying to do as a wife is back then when the market did crash, we lost everything because I ignored the signs. Even though I was like, oh my God versus like I could feel shifts happening in the world a couple years ago. And I was like, we gotta start making moves, you know, And I, I remember like sitting in our office and I was like, we gotta start making moves. And so for me, I was trying to alleviate pressure from you. Cause I could already see building. We've talked about this before on the show a ton. Like your addiction to, to pretty much anything was at an all time high with a substance called feel freeze. And I was like, this, this is not worth it. We need to, we need to, we need to, like, contract a little bit and rebuild. So.

But.

But specifically, like, right now, I knew we were going through another season because, like, you just. With manly arena tour coming on, you just let go of your CFO that you'd had for, like, over 10 years, and all of his responsibilities were being put on you. But if I can tell you, as your wife, I am so grateful for that, because I knew, like, I didn't. I just felt like we were not seeing the big picture.

We weren't.

And I am a little bit of a. Like, that's hard for me. I'm a. I can be a bit of a control freak, and I like to see everything that's going on, and doesn't mean I want to run it all the time, but I want to, like, kind of see things that are going on. So I felt like I was trying to. I was trying to be the wife in the sense where I'm like, hey, he's got it. Like, he's got it. I trust he's going to provide and protect and all these things, but inside I was like, we're missing shit. Like, so I'm grateful that you have, even though it's stressful for you that you're going through this season, because I do believe seeing the bigger picture will help us get to where we need to go. Go. So me understanding that, I feel like I can have a lot of grace and gratitude, and I can. I. I don't make it about me, necessarily, but I also don't want you to shut down, you know? So I think even I was the one. If you don't know what the Purif is. So. Garrett and I have dabbled in Scientology. Just. I used. I used to. I didn't know anything about it, and I found it's like, it's almost like self development teaching and things like that. It's not like, just because you do courses and it doesn't. I don't consider myself a stuff Scientologist. I'm like. I found some of the courses they had in the books very interesting. One of the programs that they have is called the Purif. It's a. It's kind of a detox thing. So you go and you sit in a sauna, you go run on a treadmill, you take some supplements and some vitamins to help you start sweating. You jump on the treadmill, and then you go into a sauna for up to two hours. And it's just supposed to cleanse you and detox you from chemicals, drugs, like alcohol. Like anything in your system. And I just kind of felt like I knew I could see where this season was going. And I was like, we can't numb with alcohol right now. And I just kind of felt like maybe we should do this program. And I had mentioned it to you because we had been introduced to it over a year ago. And it's something you have to do every single day. It's a huge commitment. And I was like, there's never gonna be a good time. Why don't we do it now? Because like you said, I'm like, I feel like when the stressor. The stressor, that's the stress and pressure is high. People go to alcohol addictions, they want to numb out. And that if anything, when the pressure is high, you have to have the mental clarity and the discipline to get through it. If you just numb out, you're like, did you even see or learn what you needed to see at some level? Sure. I mean, maybe. But if you have more mental clarity, I also think too, we make things in our mind a bigger deal than what it is. And you know, being drunk or being on something is not going to. It's going to numb you and you're actually going to tell yourselves your stories, that it's harder than it really is. When you have the clarity. You're like, it's heavy. We can get through it.

Yeah.

So I mean, that's even the experience for me. Like, I'm like, okay, when, when I'm thinking more clear it, I can see the storm ahead, but I'm not like, oh, like I can't get through it. If anything, I have to weaponize myself to, to be in the space of thinking more clearly. So anyways, long story short, we don't have time to do this at all. And we're making it happen. And the other reason that I, to answer your question, this is because men and women have a tendency when there's a storm, to distance themselves. I was like two hours in the sauna every day with my husband. I told myself, this can be fun. I go in the spa. It's not like going to the spa at all. Sucks real bad. But I just thought, you know, I could have this, you know, three week period go by where he's cleansing and I'm not and we're not in the journey together. And it's. I'm like thinking I'm supporting him. But sometimes in my experience as being a wife, support doesn't mean standing back and giving him space. Support means immersing yourself in the process or in the event or in whatever it is. Like, support doesn't always mean stay home with the kids and watch the home front. It means pack the fucking kids up and let's go. So I am in a season where I know that we are making correct moves and I have to be aligned with you in those moves so that I too can trust the process.

That was really good. This is like, I don't think that we could. I don't think that we could step into. I mean, I stepped back. I was talking with. We had a team that came over about. We brought a woman on named Mary Kay, and she's incredible at tech. And we moved our entire CRM that we've been operating off of for eight and a half years. All the web hooks, all the tagging sequences, everything in it for eight and a half years at Warrior mbr. And we moved it all to go high level in three weeks. And I asked her today on our team, stand up. I said, how much? How, how crazy is that? Shared with the team, how crazy that is? She's like, this is like unimpossible. She's like, you would never. With the amount of complications been going on. Organization that's been running for 14 years. Two brands have been running for over a decade to take all the data and all the references and all the, all the tracking that's been built and move it into a new, centralized, more efficient platform. And to do this in two to three weeks is an impossible feat. And yet we did it. And I step back sometimes and I have to remind myself of all the things that we've actually done in 12 months. I had my guys at our event this last Thursday, Friday at Pivot Protocol do this. And I said, let's step back and let's look at the amount of change that's occurred over a 12 month time period. And I take us. We shut down enrollment at MBR with DKW styling with artists. We had been serving artists for like 10 years. And we said, we're gonna stop enrollment, fulfilling the enrollment we have until we reopen, which actually reopened today. We're doing the podcast. We actually reopened a couple weeks ago. We let go of the Entire team at DKW, all the team members, 100% of them restarted with a brand new team. We sold our property and sold our salon and shut it down in Laguna beach that had been going for 10 years, sold our properties, shut down our training facility in California, packed up and moved our family and the companies to Miami. Lost 95% of the people who worked for Warrior at the time a year ago are no longer with Warrior. Replaced the entire new team. New executive teams, new sales teams, new coaches, new trainers, all in the last 12 months. Moved our teenagers, both during the high school seasons. Moved our son, moved our toddlers, moved everyone here. Reestablished ourselves in a new home. Re establishing new offices in the 10x center. Reestablished new teams. Continued to move forward. Launched the man arena tour. Launched everything like this. The amount of change in a 12 month time period from when we sat down at Coastal Kitchen in August of 2024 and you gave me the look and I accepted the look and I agreed with the look, which was, we need to sell everything in Miami, in California and move to Miami.

Because I could feel something changing and I knew a retraction at some level needed to take place. And I feel like people are now just being like, is there a retract? I'm like, yeah, there is. Like, you should probably make some move and stop putting duct tape on your fucking boat. Like, I felt at some level we had built a massive cruise ship, but along the way we had some duct tape in all these different places. And you can either ride that out for a long time, but that's essentially going to implode like it will. And I, I think a piece of me could see that the amount of money that was going out, our lifestyle, things like that, and we were, we were. Had a lot of money coming in, but it just felt reckless and I knew it was. And so, like I shared before, like, it felt reckless when the market crashed and I didn't do anything. And I was like, we're too powerful. Like, we cannot ignore the signs that are like, we can't, we're too powerful. We cannot do that. And so it's, we're, we're definitely like in a transition and a lot has happened out of necessity.

Well, I was, I was talking to a bunch of guys in tech and they were talking to me about my app and they're like, how many years are you in on Warrior app? I said, I'm, I'm in. 10 years into it. I said, how much? 12 million. And they're like, what are you seeing change now is we stopped development four months, four and a half months ago, five months ago we stopped development because we started seeing what was happening with AI and now we see what's happening with AI right now. And now that Warrior app is like, amazing as a weapon, but also the innovations we're being able to make and move with AI Are allowing things to occur in months used to take years. And allowing it to happen for 20, $30,000 that used to cost 2 million.

Are you going to have your Garrett JY AI? I know you were kind of like, against the AI stuff. Like, you watch, people are going to unplug and this and that. I. I agree and I disagree. Like, I think that AI people will be able to utilize their AI character for people to consume their content quicker. And it feels more human, like, because it's. It looks like Garrett, it's. They know it's an AI thing, but they're still feeling like it's, like, a little bit of a connection because it's wrapped in a human package. So I think. I think it's. Even though you're like, ah, this is stupid. I do think that innovations happen like this in the world, although there's, like, a lot of things that it can go wrong. I do think this is a way for people to consume content and essentially, like, learn so much quicker. And so I think that you should develop your AI character and stop messing around. Like. Like Imagine, like, the warrior, like, send time. Like, Imagine, like, the warrior app now is just like. It's literally like a 3D version of you. And you're like, all right. And instead of talking to chat, because chat's cool, but chat doesn't have a face, they're like, I just want to talk to Garrett. I want to talk to my Garrett coach. Garrett is my chat GPT.

Cool.

You are somebody's chat GPT, but you're their coach. Your AI is their coach. I think that's where it's going to go. Is that everybody. Instead of having, like, oh, I'm talking to Chat GPT, they're like, I'm talking to. I freaking have Garrett's. I'm on Garrett's AI. He's so much better than ChatGPT. Like, people are going to have their individual AI people, like, instead of just a ChatGPT, or they might have multiple AI.

I don't disagree with you. I don't. I'm not saying it's not going that way. Here's the thing that makes it different. Here it comes. Get ready for it. There is a knowing I've had for well over a decade, watching as many men as I do, watching as many women as I have. Information has never led to transformation just because a person knows what to do. ChatGPT can deliver up the most amazing feedback. It can. I've been programming mine for 14 to 16 months. I was in AI before people were starting to even think about using it. We weren't cutting edge because we were in software. I had teams of mine that were in AI. Two years ago, we started going down the path of it. My AI bot that I have built for myself, that holds all my books, all my content, all my copy, all of my content that I've created In the last 10 years, all my stacks, all my information, when I engage with it, it's not the same as somebody else engaging with their chatgpt because my brain of my AI has all of my work. My body of work for 10 years sits in my AI. So when I engage with my AI, with myself, and I'm engaging with it, it is not like. Like you couldn't go into your chat GPT and produce what my AI chat can produce, because prompter is better, because my brain is operating so the source data, the source datum, is different than your source datum. Your source datum, the mine still has access to the web, your slow access to the web and all the information being loaded up that's accessible to everybody in chat GPT, but the web doesn't have access to all of my thoughts. So if I put all of my thoughts, and I have 5,000 stacks and I have 10,000 hours of my personal memoirs loaded into this thing, all nine of my books, thousands of hours of content, and all of my email copy loaded I've ever written in 10 years is loaded up into this brain, which it is, is it all it is, it's loaded into in that it's in the brain. We have it in multiple different AIs, it sits in there. So when I'm engaging with it, it's sourcing my data and it's sourcing the world's data. So it's sourcing data out on the web, and then it's sourcing whatever you've loaded the brain up with. That's why you can have custom AIs that operate different than other AIs because they have a different brain source. All of them have access to data, but then there's specific data. That's why there's a tool called the Architect, which was built by a bunch of guys that are mathematicians and very smart in their shit. And it mirrors back, it's a good tool. But I said, I look at that. The thing that still doesn't matter is that whatever the data gives me, for example, say I go to AI and the counsel the AI gives me is have the hard conversation with your wife. At some point, this man, he's not going to go voice to chat and say, talk to my wife.

Maybe he should. Maybe she should. Maybe he should, because maybe ChatGPT's tone is gonna be much nicer. Usually most chats is a woman, and so maybe that would be better. Babe, I've been really wanting to share something with you.

Do you have your. Do you have your cell phone right here with me?

It's been really hard.

Do you have your verbal here? Do you have your verbal. Do you have your cell phone?

Yeah.

Okay, pull your cell phone out. Let's pry this. Pull up your voice chat. Oh, God.

Do you have something to tell me?

No. Well, I'm gonna try something. Let's try something and see if something works on this matter. We're just gonna pull this out of her ass right now. Maybe this will work, maybe it will not.

Hi, how are you?

Hey there. I'm doing great. Thanks for asking. How about you?

So chat. This is Garrett J. White, founder of Wake Up Warrior. And I am married to Danielle K. White, the founder of Is It Going On Audio. Yes. Founder of Natural Beaded Rose. And we're sitting here in a podcast trying to have some hard conversations, and we're wondering if you could act as a therapist and translate our thoughts and feelings to each other.

Absolutely, Gary. I'd be happy to help out. Consider me your translator and a bit of a conversational therapist if you like. Just let me know what each of you wants to express, and we can navigate those hard conversations together.

Holy. All right, so here's where our situation is. We have an incredible amount of pressure happening in the market right now. Lots of shifts and changes, lots of personnel changes in the business, and this is putting a lot of pressure on me as an entrepreneur. I'm trying to express the weight that I'm carrying to my wife, and she's kind of getting it, but wondering if you could language the pressure, because I still want to be connected to her, and I still want to be intimate with her, and I don't want to distance myself from her. But everything in me as an entrepreneur wants to isolate, shut down, and just focus on the business. What are your thoughts?

Yeah, I hear you loud and clear on that. And I think a lot of people in your shoes would feel the same way. So maybe what we can do is just put it into words that really reflect that you are under a lot of pressure, that you feel that instinct to kind of pull away and focus only on the business, but that you don't want that to mean you're shutting her out. We can just kind of frame it as, hey, I'm carrying a heavy load right now, and sometimes I do retreat into work mode. But I want you to know that that doesn't. I want to be distant from you. It just means I'm trying to navigate the stress. And that way she can understand that we're not pulling away from her emotionally. It's just a little bit of a balancing act. Let me know if that sounds like a good start.

Sure. She's sitting right here. Do you think you could say it to her in a way? She's 42. She's beautiful, a mother of our five children. She runs her own business, but doesn't face the same kind of pressure, different pressure than I face. But she's sitting right here, and I was wondering if maybe you could tell her.

Absolutely. I'd be happy to. So then, hell, just imagine me turning to you and saying, garrett really wants you to know that he feels this immense pressure. And sometimes it makes him want to kind of go into his own shell and just focus on the business. But that doesn't mean he wants to shut you out. He wants you to understand that he's carrying that load. But he deeply values staying connected and close to you. And he just wants you to know that you're still his partner in all of this. So hopefully that helps bridge the gap a little bit and makes easier for you two to have this conversation.

Holy. That's really good. She now has a thought she'd like to share with me to you as our therapist.

Hey, Chat, can you tell my husband I understand that he's going through a lot of stress and pressure? However, sometimes I feel a little bit abandoned. And I still think that even though he's under pressure, if he still wants to be intimate and have connection, he's also going to have to make some time to notice me. And, you know, just. Even though he's stressed out, I want him to make sure that he kind of has to turn that off and be with the kids and be sweet with me. Otherwise, if he doesn't give me any affection or time, then I end up shutting off, too. So I understand the pressure he's under. But maybe you could help communicate what I'm saying to him so that he understands I feel for his pressure, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't have to pay attention. Attention to me.

Absolutely, Danielle. So, Garrett, here's the gist of it. She totally understands that you're under a lot of stress, but she also wants to feel that connection and that intimacy, and just have those moments where you can turn off the business side for a bit and just be with her and the kids. And it doesn't have to be a huge thing. Just those little moments of affection and attention go a long way. So she's basically saying, I get it, but let's not lose each other in the process. And I think that's a pretty fair ask.

Thanks for your help. Chat. All right. We're. Human beings are gonna go a direction. That's insane.

But this is. The thing is, like, I feel like people will be like, oh, my God. They'll want to focus on, like, the negative side of it. And I. Like, when we did have real life therapy, it was almost like I would always tell people. I'm like, yeah, it was great. It was like, you're working on your marriage and you're having a sounding board because, like, you could be under, like, so much stress and pressure. And, like, if the tone comes off wrong, like, you're like, you're both irritated. I'll give you, like, a funny example. The other day, I was like, hey, babe, we're laying in bed. It's like 10:30. I'm like, Babe, do you think you could turn up the temperature 1 degree? And you started laughing. And I was like, I knew you would think that was funny. But I was like, how many times, especially for women, are we not clear in what we want? And then we're irritated that we don't get the exact result that we didn't actually communicate? And I was like, I didn't want it two degrees up. I wanted it one degree. So you laugh, and then you turn it up. And I'm like, how funny would it have been if you. If I say, turn it up, what are you're gonna go, like, 3, 4, 5 degrees down or down?

Down?

Yeah, it would have been, like, 62 degrees. I would have, like, fallen asleep. Then I would have been. Then I would have woken up delirious. Then I would have smacked you and been like, what the hell? You're like, you told me to turn the air down. I'm like, I didn't tell you to turn down that locust. I'm half asleep. Then you get up, you go to change the temperature. I'm like, ah. And then I'm feeling like he doesn't even listen to me. He doesn't understand me. And then you're like, I'm going to sleep in another room. You're like, screw her. And then you go to another room and Sleep by yourself. And then we both wake up feeling unseen, unheard and unappreciated. Why? Because I didn't communicate that. I only wanted one degree.

That's probably one of the few times that you've communicated that clearly. I was laughing because I was like, not only was it out of like character for you to ask for one degree, I'd never heard you ask for one degree in our whole marriage. And it just was funny to me. I was like, just one degree. That's it? You just want one degree? Yeah, I just want one degree.

And I would assume that you should.

Know that I would have definitely gone 2 to 3. I think it was a 70. I probably would have put it to 67.

Yeah.

So listen, this, the reason why too is because I'm sitting in the groups. I get, I have data, real time data on entrepreneur men, like every day. So like I, I get to have the conversations every single day. I'm in the conversations and text, I'm in voxer, I'm in chat, I'm in phone calls, I'm in zooms, I'm in, in person, I'm in sit downs. And one on one. Like my whole day is involved with two things. It's involved with running the operations of Wake Up Warrior and it's involved with dealing with the men of Wake Up Warrior. It's both. I have other men and women that are supporting in those roles too, both in operations as well as dealing with the people. But there is a pressure, like a spiritual pressure that's building, like a spiritual pressure that's building and that I'm, I'm convinced of this, that what we're seeing on the outside is a manifestation of what's happening on the inside of people. And we've hit a pressure cooker of humanity where people are just no longer. The functional game that we have built does not work the way we built it. Like if you look at our government, our government does not work the way we built it. If we look at spending in the US it does not work the way we built it. If we look at schools in the US it doesn't work the way we built it. If we look at marriage in the US Just because you have a document that signed and stamped by the governor of your state does not mean your marriage is going to work. We look at porn consumption, we look at sexless marriages, we look at dysfunctional drug use, we look at obesity, we look at what's going on with teenagers, and we look at sexual gender confusion, and we look at Sexuality and its extreme polar opposites of the church and pornography. You look at the cesspool that we are living in right now called life.

It's wild, wild west.

Most of the that our parents, parents operated off of is irrelevant. Now you look at what's happening in religions. Major exodus from religions, yet a major push towards the Bible and the more purchase of Bibles in 2025 than there have ever been. It's like a mass exodus to people searching out God. There's this thing occurring and in the middle of all this occurring, you have two groups of people. We have people following who are lost, who are trying to figure themselves out. And you have people who have the courage to try to innovate into the unknown and figure out the path. And I'm one of those people. And you're one of those people too, which is a stressful place to be because you're trying to find a map to a place that nobody's ever been.

Yeah, it's definitely a turn.

It's like the race to AI right now. The titans are all at war. Google and Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg. Everybody's racing to try to Apple. Everyone's trying to race to figure this game out. And they're investing billions of dollars into infrastructure and servers to try to figure this out, game out. But nobody has the map of what it is. But when it comes to the soul, the soul is being left behind in many ways to the expansion of technology. Like technology is advancing faster than people's spiritual consciousness. This is a problem because if, if technology, if, if AI can be smarter than your pastor and smarter than your coach and smarter than your therapist, it makes you smarter. But it doesn't guarantee awakening. It doesn't guarantee that you have the capacity to deal with all this knowledge. There's some studies we were reading recently about it too, where because of the AI use that's happening, short term critical thinking is going down because I don't have to critically think anymore. I can just pour a simple question into chat and it spits out a map for me. So now I don't even have to think through maps anymore, which means I don't have to think through solving problems the same way anymore. That's a good thing because it's accelerating it. Like having our kids study.

Yeah, but it's, it's like, it's like before people had a calculator, you had to like hand write your math out.

Yeah.

Now you're like, I'm not gonna do basic stuff like that. Does that mean you're dumb because you have to lean to a calculator, or does that just make the process quicker?

You're right and I'm right. It's like both. It's like both sides. Like, there. That's why there's always an up or down, you know? Is the sexual revolution of the 1970s, was this a good thing? Yes. Was it a harmful thing? Yes. There's both people. That's why, like, in Scientology. There are Scientology in the Bureau of. They're always referencing LSD because this is when it came out in the 1970s. We're like, LSD, who does the LSD? LSD? Because that was like, the major drug of choice at the time, at the same time of a deep sexual explosion for women. And now you're sitting in this place today as couples trying to figure out how to navigate. Like, I'm watching guys right now. Just like the poor. And three conversations I had yesterday with guys are just. They're stressed out at a level of breaking. And we keep coming back to this one thing, which is why. Why is the breaking happening? Is the breaking supposed to happen? And my experience is, is that, yes, it's supposed to happen. That there's something that's trying to come out in us as humans, like a soul level shift that's trying to happen. And we are the containers of it coming through us, all of us.

I just think of Terminator.

There's a lot of people talking about Terminator right now, too.

I was like, it's gonna be the people against the AI.

Who knows? But the one thing I do know is that we won't even get there if we don't figure out as humans, and particularly as couples, how to not only get along, but how to be bonded.

Yeah, I think, too. I think there are a lot more like the real couples kind of coming forth and not trying to pretend like this shit is easy and that it's. We're working through it. I think, too, when you're like, you don't understand, like, the pressure and pressure and stress that I'm under. But it. It would be bad if we were both in the same amount of stress and pressure.

Oh, it'd be horrible.

So it's like, at some level, you're right. I play. I play the part where I'm like, I don't want to know too much, but I also don't want to know. I don't want to, like, live in La La Land either. It's like, I want you to make important decisions. With me, you're like, hey, we're gonna buy this condo. We're gonna do this. This is how much we're putting down. This is like, I need to know. I don't want to be totally in the dark with things, but it's. But I don't think it's healthy if you're. That's why when people like, like couples work together, I'm like, how do you do that? Number one, it's hard to work together. And number two, that means you're both kind of like in the pressure cooker of building something together. Like, how do you do that and have kids?

I don't know too many couples that are successful at it.

I don't either.

Truly. I don't know. Unless, of course, they're on the third marriage and the man is much older than the woman if that's the case or they do not have children.

Yeah, yeah.

If you do not have children. I know couples that are doing it that do not have children. I know couples that are doing it where the man is on his third or fourth marriage and his wife is 20 years or younger than him.

Right.

Those couples seem to be figuring it out because the age gap, difference in maturity. You know, a dude in his 50s married to a girl that's 30, a woman is 30, that age gap, that dude's already gone through all this.

Right.

Which means at 55, this guy doesn't see the world the same way he would have reacted to her at 35.

Right.

The same way he would have reacted at 45. Which is why you're seeing so many age gap differences and new relationships that are happening too. It kind of makes sense to me because you have a girl pre, menopausal, she's not in menopause, which means her sex drive's still going fire. And you have a dude who's like, in a place where he still wants to have sex, but he realizes sex is not. It's important, but it's not everything. That's hard to convince a dude who's in his 30s that sex is not everything. And a dude in his mid-50s is like, I've kind of run the gamut. I've seen my share of vaginas, and I've been through some marriages and I'm after something different. I'm after a partner. Which is why you see this gapping. You're seeing gapping everywhere right now. That didn't used to be normal.

No.

At all. It wouldn't have been normal for a 30 year old to be married to a 55 year old, that's like her father. Truly. That's 25 year gap. That's like father. And I'm like, okay, well, I don't think it's a problem. I don't care if people get together like that. I understand why they do. I mean, we know women, that age gap, the other direction, they're like 15, 20 years older than the man they're with. And I can see why that happens too.

I feel like when I met you, I was 18. So like you were 25 back then. I was like huge, super controversial, very controversial.

And I was divorced and I had a kid.

And you, I remember thinking you seemed older, but I like that about you. I was attracted to you being older because I'm like, oh, you're pretty much done with college. You're like on your way to your career. We don't have to go through the bullshit of college and broke life and, and we connected on like a spiritual level and connection, just communicating.

So, I mean, I sure like you.

You what?

I sure like ya.

You still like me?

No, I said I sure like you.

Oh, I'm like, you still like me? Thanks.

Yeah, of course I still like you. I feel like. Here's the thing. That's crazy.

I don't feel like you're that much older now until you grow your beard out. And then I'm like, babe, we're getting the age gap question again. Can you shave that shit?

When I grow the beard, people think we're 20 years apart.

I mean like at least 15. Yeah, but, yeah, but if I was.

If I was, let's see, if I was 15 years. If I was 15 years older than you, I would be so another, another eight years. That would put me at 50, 57, I'd be 57. You'd be 42 if you were how old. If I was 15 years older than you, I'd be 57. It'd be a big difference between 49 and 57.

That's old.

That's old.

That's like almost six 60.

That is Cialis necessary. You have to take some Cialis to keep up with it.

I. It's weird. I feel like I, I feel like I. Look, I could get away with 35.

Yeah.

But I feel like I have a lot of life experience that I.

You don't operate like 35 that way. But people are always shocked when you have four children. Like when you have, I mean, our five kids. But you have four births and six pregnancies. Like, and people See our older teenagers, and they don't. I can't understand. Because our girls are all blonde and taller than you.

Yeah.

And our other two are going to be taller than you, too.

That's right.

You're gonna be the shortest one in the family. That's all right. You're the cutest. So listen, this, this show, like, the, the energy that I want to get across is, is simply this. Like, you're gonna have all kinds of seasons. And I think the mistake that I made for so many years was distancing myself under the pressure. Pressure. So I'd feel the pressure.

And I thought, well, you did. That's what exactly. Like, I don't. I keep comparing it to, like, the market crashing because it's essentially like the world's going through something similar. It's not like one industry. It's like everybody at some level is going to have to contract. And it. When that happened before, I was pregnant with our second daughter and you distanced me. You distanced from me because I was pregnant. And I don't know why, if this is common in men to do, but, like, you think you're, like, giving us space when we're pregnant and you end up just distancing yourself and wondering why you're not connected. And you're like, listen, I know I'm gaining weight and, like, I'm carrying your child, but I don't need space. I actually need you to come closer.

Yep. Well, and again, I thought at the time, I mean, I had babies in my 20s, we had babies. I had babies on one of my.

30S babies for a long time, and.

I had babies in my 40s. So for three decades, I've been having children. Well, I've been having any children. I've been contributing sperm to make the children and then been raising the children. Like three decades of kids. And it's definitely different now. Like, being 49, the world, I see the game, I see the way I see you. Just very different than 39. Extremely different than 29. 29. I was clueless. 39. I was still clueless. 49. I'm probably still clueless. I'm just less clueless than I was.

Do you think you enjoy our babies? It seems like you're more connected to, to our babies now. But I don't know, it was so long ago with Ruby and Bailey. But it seems like you're, you're pretty connected with Isla and Charlie.

Yeah.

Like, even yesterday, Char, we came home from the beach about 2, 2:30, and, like, I was like, all in mom mode yesterday and they were like the whole thing. She kept asking me all day is, but when's dad coming home? I'm like, I'm like in the waves with you right now. Like now you got to ask is when's dad gonna be home? But I think it's cuz they've been missing you.

Yeah, well, I've been gone to the this hot sauna box every night for a week. I've been doing the hot sauna boxing.

How's your brain feeling? It's good days and bad days.

Yeah, it's good. I think it's definitely, that's definitely better on the weekends because we do it during the day versus at night. @ the end of a long day, I'm up at three and then we're at the hot sauna box at like what, 6 o'. Clock. We're home at like 10:30. It's a long day. 3:30 to 10:30, definitely. So the piece we figured out is this. If we figured anything out, it's communication. And we have. Are we perfect at it? No, but we're way better. And it appears that ChatGPT can help you with this too. I. We just tested it. I don't know how effective that would be of us trying to have a conversation while talking to chat, but because I feel like we communicate pretty well to each other now. Like, I think there's some huge pieces in this. We've taken huge risks with ourselves, with each other and being able to communicate what our truth is and what our pain is, but do it in a way that's healthier than we've ever been able to. So amidst this, the thing I can say, I sent this text to one of my best friends a few days, a few hours ago. He's like, what's going on? I said I feel like I'm in a five front war and for the first time in my entire life, I'm not at war with my wife and my children. Two most of the time in the past, in the last 24, 25 years as entrepreneurs and when things have gone into hot pocket, I like created friction with you too. And this is the first time where we're in the hot box, but I'm not creating friction with you.

Do you feel that maybe you're just too tired?

Could be.

No. This year what I, what I can say with you is I felt like it was like my feelings were actually being validated. And even if I was going through something crazy, emotionally, spiritually letting go of like everything in California I felt like you were at least. And maybe I was trying to communicate it more where I'm just like, hey, like I would try to bottle it up. And now I'm like, hey, I need you to know. I just, I feel like shit today, you know, because I've always been one to like, power through and I think I've been better at like communicating like, hey, I'm not in a good space mentally. Can you take the kids to school? Can you help out here? Versus before, I thought that showing support meant I couldn't ask for help if I was emotionally a shit show or if something was going on in my mind, like that was burdening you. So I was like, well, that doesn't really give me what I want because he doesn't know I'm in pain. And then he's building resentment against me not doing certain things, but he doesn't know what's going on in my head. So I think in me being able to communicate my feelings more and not trying to be supermom or not even supermom, but just like pretending even to myself that my feelings don't matter and being like, yeah, I am going through a transition, that it's harder than I expected and I'm having to show up for my kids and be an example and be there for my 18 year old and my 14 year old and my 6 year old and my 3 year old and even your stepson or our stepson being here, you know. So it's just, I think I hold my stress differently in a way for like the kids in that sense of like, I've got to be the rock, like, I've got to like, make sure they don't see mommy hurting and that kind of thing. And so that's kind of where it gets sticky, where I don't want my kids to necessarily feel like I'm hurting, but I need somebody to come to if I am hurting. Which, like I said this year I felt like I've been like, I need to, I need to share how I'm feeling so that you have some empathy with where I'm at. Even though, like I look like, I always joke around, I'm like, I, I'm beautiful, I'm physically very fit. But that doesn't mean, like mentally sometimes I'm dealing with.

Yeah, this is, I think it's the last, the last year was the greatest gift was the ability to actually get inside your head. I got a level in inside your heart to have you share, you know, to be a mess or to Share your pain or to share your hurt from years and truth that I didn't, I truly didn't know. Like, I didn't, I didn't understand it because you weren't communicating it. And maybe I wasn't asking the questions in a way that would allow you or even showing up as the man that you felt safe enough to share with. Obviously say I wasn't. Had I been safe enough, you would have shared it. But I wasn't safe enough until the last show.

You know what I think it was too is I, I didn't share my feelings because I was like, how dare you be ungrateful. Look at your house and your life and your cars. How dare you burden somebody with how you're feeling and, and almost even blaming myself. Like, how dare I have these feelings? Which is stupid, right? That's like, that's like blaming our teenage daughter for being a teenager. And we're like, you live in an amazing house. I'm like, she's still a teenager. She doesn't know any different. Don't punish her for being raised in. She doesn't know any different. She doesn't know any different. If she was raised in a 10,000 square foot home or a cardboard box. She doesn't know any different. She's a teenager.

Yeah.

Don't judge her for that.

Yeah, well, tough too, again, because a comparison game is always my life growing up versus their life growing up, which you're always. The natural default is always to compare the world to what you experience.

And we've shared this so many times. But I remember like during my. I was raised in a 12,000 square foot home. My parents were both entrepreneurs. Now they weren't like the wealthiest ever, but they were hard working and I saw that and we had a great life. And I remember there was so many times where I felt like you were trying to compare my work ethic to your work ethic or how we were raised. And I was just like, I can't apologize for how I was raised and I will not apologize for having a certain upbringing. Like, that's kind of like the standard for me. I would like, I would never have somebody say like, who's raised in abundance? Be like, oh, I aspire to do less. They expired to at least do that in how they were raised and then hopefully succeed that. Well, like I said, I was raised in a lot of abundance. So to me, that was like my floor. And for so many years I was like, hey, I can't change how I was raised. I can't Change that. That was my floor. But I. I'm not saying anything against how you were. You were raised like that. That was your floor.

Yeah, well, just different standards. This is why you see families like the Trump family, where you have the kids who were. Trump was raised by a father, was successful real estate investor. He made it bigger. His children were raised at another level and are experiencing even more abundance than or will experience even bigger abundance than President Trump because of the access they have, which has been an interesting thing for our kids, too, because a lot of times they push it away. They felt like they were. They were being given an advantage. I was like, you were being given an advantage. That's why I work so hard. So you have an advantage.

Yeah. Take advantage.

Take advantage of the advantage. Don't play like you have to play from scratch. Zero.

Yeah.

All right, we're gonna wrap this show up. This. Listen, these topics are topics that are coming up in every single men's group that I'm part of, every group that I run. These, like, topics have changed. And we're watching guys unravel and then put themselves back together. We're watching breaking and remaking happening. You know, one of the most powerful tools we have here at Warrior is the stack. You know, Danielle and I are actually blown away at the number of people that show see us around the world. We were just in Puerto Rico and we had somebody at the gym come up to us about how amazing they love the Day to Y podcast. But the thing that's always funny to us is people always said the second comment, which is like, what do you guys do? What do you guys do? How did you get here? I was like, how did you not know what we do? Like, we talk about on every single show. Like, I run. Wake up, Warrior. For the last 14 years, training men, we've been leading men, 73,000 men over the past 14 years to deep levels of freedom and power in business and marriage and life. And that has been the model. And we just had a huge, big event. We have another big event, man arena coming up here November 8th here in Miami with several thousand men. We're excited for that conference. We just had our first one May 20. So while the world's contracting at the same time, we're exploding, we're kicking it in high gear, and we're going. You know, you only have two choices. When the market does what it does and things are shifting, you either go or you contract into a small box. And for us, we're not. We're contracting where we need to and still continuing to throttle down and push forward here at Wake Up Warrior. So you can learn more about warrior@warriorbook.com It's a great place to start. It's actually our entry experience. You can pick up a free copy of Warrior book by going to warriorbook.com and that'll take you down the cycle with us. If you like what you see, fantastic. If you don't, you tell me to fuck off and just keep listening to Hy podcast and ask me what I do and my wife is in the hair industry and has been in the hair industry for two decades and been a hairstylist by trade, but also became an entrepreneur. Launched DKW Styling Academy Natural Bead Rose Isla Hair built one of the largest non, non sponsored hair training academies in the country.

They're gonna say non profit.

No. I mean like, no. I started promoted by big brands.

So anybody you run into that's like, I have the beaded ones, I have the hand tied come. I'm like, hand tied extensions. I'm like, I was the original who innovated that in the marketplace. Prior to that it was two tape ins and glue ins and nobody was doing, nobody was doing them this way. And now there's a lot. But I always say, like, I was like the, the original back 15 years ago. Back 15 and still top three.

Still top three.

Still top three.

Three still top three. Owning it and a relaunch of the Mastermind happening and the training company here in Miami for Natural Be to Rose, which actually kicked off here just about a month ago and excited right for this podcast to do a webinar to several hundred hair stylists and talk about the truth. The truth, the truth.

Who knew those emails would go off.

Of what has occurred in our silence over the last 12 months as several people have been very vocal about their opinions about us, including some lawsuits that are complete accusations and allegations with no substance for any entrepreneurs ever built any of significance. You've been sued and you know exactly how those lawsuits go. They cost you money in defending yourself against something that was made up and fabricated with no evidence and no support whatsoever and no way to validate or confirm anything they're saying. But that's the problem with where we live today. You can put anything on the Internet and people believe it and I understand that's where it's at. But in the court of truth, the truth always comes out. So excited to be here with you. Excited to have that webinar and speak some truth to the marketplace and also wrap up this podcast. So listen, the best thing you can do to help us here with the show is share this show up with other people. These conversations change every single week. Sometimes we have guests, sometimes we don't have guests. But here at the Date 5 podcast, we've been running strong since 2018. Millions and millions and millions and millions of downloads on this show and couples all over the place that never connect with us at Wake Up Warrior or DKW but get value from the show. So please share the show up with somebody else that you know could get value with it. Listen to it with your spouse and you got a new example. Test ChatGPT for therapy. I don't know how that worked out for us. I'm not really saying that was very therapeutic.

I was like, I don't know about that.

It's kind of like I said it and then it repeated it. It was like, repeat back. Anyways, give it a shot and share the show up. We'll see you here next week on the Date your wife podcast.