The Divine Divorce | Date Your Wife | EP 093

Hey, everybody, it's your boy, Garrett J. White, the founder of Wake up Warrior and the CEO of DKW Styling. And I'm here with my beautiful wife, Danielle K. White, who is the founder of DKW Styling as well as the creator of Natural Beaded Rose and started a movement inside of the hair industry. And together we are your co hosts here in the date your wife podcast. Welcome to this week's episode. We're driving back from an amazing experience. Danielle's going to give you the rundown.

We are. If you guys are missing seeing us in action, it's because we've been so busy that we have been doing the podcast kind of just on the go via cell phone. So today we are actually just leaving Cafe Rio. Actually, I was raised in Utah in Cafe Rio. If you've not had Cafe Rio, everyone in Utah is like our Cafe Rio. But when you don't have it a lot, it's just so good. So anyways, no, we actually just left my 20 week doctor appointment. I'm pregnant. Having a little girl. If you just heard the news or if you don't follow me on Instagram, we are having our third little girl. And I'm 35, so I get all these, I get all these extra tests. You know, that 35 number puts you at high risk. Even though she's like, everything looks great and normal and you're not high risk. But it's cool because I get extra ultrasounds and like, all the perks, you know. So we just went and saw. We're naming our daughter Isla and we just went and saw a little Isla. And it's like so crazy. They did like the 3D ultrasound and it just starts to get like more and more real. I know, like, if you're a mom, like in between visits, you're like, oh, my God. I mean, I know there's a bump, but is there still a baby? Is everything okay? And it's something that's not talked about. It's, you know, I feel like I have fairly easy pregnancies. But I will say, like, just something about being pregnant, you always feel a little bit like, just a little bit like, oh, my God, I hope everything's okay. A little nervous and it's like it's no longer. It doesn't operate just around you and it's. Your baby is always on your mind. So it's cool and reassuring to go and to an ultrasound and see and check and confirm and see that everything's okay. So that's where we're coming Home from.

So I have a topic for you.

Okay.

So we were at. I was actually spend. I've been. Man, I've been all over the damn place. Got it. I've been all over the place, all over the country doing events and speaking and training and just drove down from where we lived in Orange County, San Diego, the Traffic and Conversion Summit and had an opportunity to spend time with Pete Vargas and Keith Yacki and a bunch of buddies of mine and a whole bunch of guys from Mike Kanigs and Yannick Silver and a whole bunch of guys from the Internet marketing space that the guys were mentors of mine and people who 10 years ago I started studying from and now I'm a peer with them. And the stuff that we do inside of marketing and sales. Huge event run by Ryan Dicetown San Diego. If you had a marketer and you don't go to it every year, probably should. But anyway, so we were down there and I was talking and Keith and his wife were there with us and Amazing woman. An amazing story for those two as a couple. But as we started talking, I was having a conversation with a series of. Of guys. There are a couple of the wives that were there with us and we were talking about the. The requirement of the. The divorce to build the divine relationship. That's our topic for today. Like why you must get divorced to build the divine relationship. So here was the answer. I know you're not divorced, but we basically got divorced. Now let me play this scenario out and then you're going to talk about this. So we were sitting and talking and there was. There were two people, two different couples in the past. Okay, Two different coup have met in the past probably two weeks who have gone through the following situation. Married, had kids, got divorced, dated other people, did their thing, got remarried. Really two different couples. Okay, Second, second place inside of this is then is there were two or three other couples that I've had conversations with where they actually got separated. So they didn't get divorced, but they got separated from each other, went their own ways for six to a year, were not divorced, but when separated then came back together. And across all of these, there was a similar conversation that I felt like me and Danielle went through as a couple also. These are just like people that I know, individuals I know. And some of them were just people I was just talking to and having conversation with. And this topic kept coming up in marriage about this, what I'm calling the divine divorce, which is like a necessary time phrase in which you and as a relationship like, are kind of in chaos and you have to choose all in again. And everybody hit this. I was even talking to some couples that were Atlanta last night at this party we were at, and I was talking with some couples there, and they've been together for 18, 19, 20, 25 years. And they all concurred that this thing that I'm calling the divine divorce is an actual thing, a divine divorce. Okay, so we didn't get divorced, but we. We had a divine divorce. And we're going to talk about this, like, this decision. Well, I want you to disagree. You're looking hot right now and you're like, pregnant. Super. Get dressed. So talk to me about this. This is what I'm throwing out there. We're talking about the divine divorce and how every couple must go through a divine divorce in order to find their divine destiny. All right, give it to me.

No, like, you can't. That's like somebody who's like, in a long term relationship and they're like, we don't need the piece of paper to be married. You're like, how do you know? You've never actually been married. That's like. That's like comparing apples to oranges. Like, you don't have. You don't get a say because you've never been married. We've never been divorced. So we can't necessarily say that we went through what somebody actually went through, that they through a divorce. And you're. When you're divorced, I'm sure they, like, slept with other people. So that's going to create a whole other emotional dynamic to the relationship. So I get what you're saying. Like the topic of like a divine divorce where, like, we were like, on that road knocking on that door for a while and we had to kind of like reinvent our relationship. But you definitely cannot compare it to. But you definitely cannot. No, I didn't.

Your lips look amazing on a kiss. Here you. Right now. Listen, you can't look what's happening.

You can't talk. I have the phone. So. You don't have a mic. I got the mic.

You got a little baby in your belly that's blocking. All right, listen, here's the deal, okay?

Here you can.

No, I'm gonna set the frame so that. So that everybody gets this. Danielle's gonna come along with this ride, I promise you. Okay? So, yes, we did not actually get divorced. I've been married and divorced before. You've not been married and divorced before. We were married. We were knocking on the door of divorce. And in this space, there was a separation emotionally that occurred for us. There were several years where we were dysfunctionally disconnected. I should actually say we were very functionally disconnected. We were not, like, it was not dysfunctional disconnection. We were literally very good at being disconnected.

Passing the volleyball back and forth.

Well, yeah, it was not. Like it was not working. Okay, so there was a moment, though, where we had to choose. Like, we had to choose. And this is the point I'm making about the divine divorce sets up your divine destiny as a couple, which is there is a time of decision and that. Yeah, these are extreme examples. People get divorced and they. They move in the relationship and then they get back together. But I know I watch this common thing happen with the relationships of any significance, which is not. You don't just get married and head down this path of, like, bliss and all is great, and God is an awesome God who reigns from heaven above. And you're like, my marriage is on fire all the time, constantly posting happy pictures on Facebook. But that's. There's a moment of the divine divorce where you as a couple begin to drift, but it's actually setting up the next chapter of your relationship. All right, we're coming back to Danielle to see if me adding a few more pieces of the puzzle is helping her mind not go so matter of fact on me here and to stay up in the clouds while we talk about some principles. Here she is. What are you hearing me say now?

It's. I mean, it's. It's. I would say it's a divine disconnection. Then.

Fine, you win. Divine disconnection for where I'm going to continue with divine force, but just run open.

Okay, all right.

Divine disconnection then.

Go think about back when we were.

Going through our shit. Like, it's not that we still aren't going through shit, but I'm just saying to go back to the divine disconnection years. 2008-2009-2010-2011, 2012. And then the decisions that came beyond.

That, I just feel like we just kept butting heads. I don't. I don't know, really know where you want me to go with this, but I just. I kept feel like there's, like, always these arguments you have with inside of a relationship. You're like, holy. These are never gonna get solved. Am I with the wrong person?

You're like, you're on. Keep going. You're on the right.

Okay. So you just keep looping back to the same argument, and it just gets exhausting and literally, I think there was times in our relationship where we're like, there's nothing we can do. Like, we felt like it was out of our control. But I think, I just think. I just know in relationships you're always going to have different issues and that relationships, it kind of is. It's. It's a give and take thing. And so things that you might say, oh, well, this is not me. This is not how I operate. Like, if you want a good relationship, you have to kind of change that story and operate around new principles. And the more you do it, the more you're like, wow, I actually, I can change. Or I am this kind of person and things start to. To mold together, I would say more cohesively.

Okay, so let's take this, let's take this. Continue down this path here. So there's a. There's a point of disconnection that happens in every relationship. And the reality is when you start having kids, like, shit just gets spicy. It just gets spicy. And if you run a business and you get married and you have babies and things just get spicy, and when they get spicy, there is a. There, there's disconnect action through sedation. It begins to happen. It doesn't matter who you are. I don't care who you are. Like, you sit here listening to the show right now, any of you, and try to make pretend that you've just got it all figured out and that you sit on the cloud nine and things have always been amazing. I love couples that are like, don't.

Know that anything's wrong. They'll be like, no, like, I'm good. And I'm like, but are you great? Like, is there. Is there a distinction between the two? Like, yeah, I thought we were good too, you know, and then like, hit the fan financially and like, all this, like, trials and stuff came up in our own lives and in our own marriage. And I was like, wow, you know what? When things got spicy, maybe we're not as strong as. Maybe we're not. Maybe good is not good enough. And it's. I think that things like that happen in our life to, to. It's like a test to see where we're at and see how we rise and, and ultimately in this life, it's about growth. And so you can't expect to have growth inside your relationship, inside your business, inside anything if you can't face those trials and win. So I think within our own relationship, it's. It's not necessarily the person. It's like, hey, here's. At least for us. I didn't feel like it was. I think we both. We're so different. And we. There was obvious. There was a ton of, like, chemistry and attraction in the beginning. Like, definitely opposites attract. And then it's like opposites annoyed real quick. So opposites attack. And just like every little thing that maybe was funny and cute and quirky, I was like, I swear to God, I'm gonna punch you in the face. Like, I don't even know. Like, literally, like everything he said that didn't. I didn't even notice before he'd say things. And I was like, why. Why do I want to punch myself in the face? And you, like. And so it just became this, like this. It went from this crazy chemistry to this, like, repulsive chemistry. And for us, I was like, God, that's when I'm like, how did we get here? When did this happen? You know? And I don't know. I don't know where I'm going with.

This, but you're doing a great job. Like, you're doing a great job. I know where we're going with this. You're doing a great job painting the picture you painted in. It was like, I built the frame. You took your markers and you colored all inside the lines. Well done. So here's a piece I'm gonna. I'm wrap this not around in the show, but just wrap this concept so we can keep going on to a couple others years. So if you look at the two words divine divorce. Right? Divine. Just considered that part of our relationships is part of the. The order of being in relationship as human beings is that you're going to be in connection and you're going to be in disconnection. And we look at this as like a bad thing and yet consider that the reason that the disconnection occurs is so that a higher level of connection can appear. And most couples stay stuck in this loop of just chaos, chaos, chaos, looping, looping, looping, looping, looping. Which was us for years and years and years thinking, thinking that the collisions were a problem, not recognizing that what was a problem was the disconnection that was happening and the reconnection that wasn't happening. So if we take that game and we look at this divine game of. Of collision and separation, connection, disconnection, there's another basis which is divorce. And. Right. What is it? What is a divorce? What does this word divorce means? It means, I think it's like to put. Put put aside, to leave behind, to separate From. And so if you look at how most marriages operate, take, take a couple that doesn't go on dates, take a couple that does not, take a couple that's not having sex. You know, you've been to, you've been married, but you're not having sex one time every three, four weeks. And you go, you go on a date night like once every six months and this is like, not. But people think this is like some extreme thing of. If you're listening, it's like you're getting this. But most couples that we meet, and most couples I am in connection with, with what I do with Wake Up Warrior and what we do inside the hair industry, the vast majority of the couples are operating in very minimal sexual connection and very minimal emotional and spiritual connection. And they are surviving. But the challenge, they don't even know they're surviving. They're just like, well, I guess this is how it is. And if you surround yourself with people who, who believe that's how it is, then it's not until something traumatic happens where it begins to expose how shitty things actually are. And that's what Danielle got to was, was when the money disappeared. And if you got money, it's easy to make it, make it feel fine. Go on some trips, buy some, etc, and it feels like everything's okay, right? Or maybe you're in a relationship where you're a woman and you hold out with sex until the last possible moment and then you have sex and then you, you restore order to the game. But inside of this, the divorcement of the way your relationship now is, must happen in order for you to arrive at the new divine destiny of your next level of your relationship.

Well, you know what I think of too is like you'll have maybe a couple or who like I can only. The only person that comes to mind right now is my sister. She doesn't listen to the show and even, even if she did, I don't think she'd care that I'd share this. But I found like the, how she operated. She got divorced and remarried and I found like how she operated with her ex husband is like she, she doesn't operate that way with her new husband. Do you know what I mean? So it's like you say you're a certain way and like you can't change or. But it could be, you know, just old like, just patterns you've with that particular person that like makes you react and do the things you do in the relationship. And so it's funny because like she seemed Like, a totally different person being married to this new guy, you know, like, more doting and, like, flirty and girly. And I was like, man, you just look like a frigid bitch. Like, you know, but she wasn't happy. So I think that it's. This new person can arise and, you know, oftentimes in relationships when they. I've seen couples that do get divorced, this person sadly doesn't arise until they're in a whole new relationship. And I think, think the challenge is, can you recreate that in your current relationship?

Divine divorce.

Divine divorce, divine connection. Because it gives you a fresh start if you both choose it. So just meaning, like, Garrett and I feel like it is possible, like, there we could have. We could have gotten divorced. Not to say we wouldn't have been happy and found a great other person to be married with. Like, I'm not saying that, but we were able to literally kind of be like, hey, we want to figure this out together and get back on the same page. So sometimes you have to look at, like, you know, trials in your relationship is like, hey, if we're both willing to do the work, we can create and start a new thing together. And it's going to take more time again because you have. Because of the history you have, but it's also that history that really holds you together. And oftentimes, you know, children and other things that. That come into play. I think. I think that you see the bad in the relationship and you don't look at, like, so much of the great history, and you think, oh, it's so hard to rebuild this relationship. But, like, look at what you have with that person. Of course it's going to be work to put it back together, but I think that with having that history, it would be worth it.

So this divorcement game, I'm going to continue down this path. So you take it. One of the fascinating things for me is to look at the number of couples we know got divorced, which, again, I'm a divorce guy, so I'm not talking down on divorce. What I am talking down on is this reality of how people show up. So I can tell you the number of couples I know who together, were both out of shape, didn't take care of themselves physically, didn't go out on dates, didn't seduce or flirt with each other, and had been in survival mode for, like, a decade. Overweight, pasty, white, no taking care of themselves, no dating, no engaging, just managing and surviving with kids and work and life. And then they're like, I can't fucking do this anymore. And they get divorced, right? And then this funny thing happens over the next six to nine months. It, like, blows my mind every time. All of a sudden, they both get fit, right? They start losing weight. They start going tanning. They start. The girl stops not wearing just a ponytail every day and Lulu pants. And all of a sudden she's, like, dressing up, wearing nice clothes, taking care of herself. The guy's, like, taking care of himself. And they're both. You're studying personal development, and they're starting to improve themselves so that they don't ever face this again. And I'm sitting there like, well, what would happen if you' shown up like that when you were married? Like, what if you could have just. Instead of having to get divorced, what if you could literally go through a divine divorcement, which was this ability to say it? I'm like, our marriage doesn't work. I had a client of mine call me up on a Sunday morning. He's crying. He's emotional. His wife texted him divorce pictures. Pictures of their divorce papers that she had left. Yeah. Of the. Of his.

Did you take a picture? Ribbon hat?

Yeah. I don't know. That's weird, right? So she takes a picture of divorce papers that she put on his desk, and he's calling me, and he's, like, crying. He's upset. And. And I'm sitting there. I'm not emotional with them all. It's part of my job is to not be emotional with them. Just to listen to him and then also help him think through. So he's sharing with me, and he's super emotional. He's super upset. And then he goes, well, what do you think? And I was like. Like, I asked him his direct question. I was like, are you surprised? Like, I've been working with you for six months. Are you surprised this happened? Come on. He's like, what do you mean? I was like, come on, dude, you're not stupid. Stupid. You think this is. You're surprised by this? You're surprised she filed for divorce? I said, let me ask you this. When's the last time you guys had sex? He's like, six weeks ago. I said, exactly. How's that work out for you? It doesn't. Okay, when was the last time you two didn't. Didn't fight? Like, you fight all the damn time? He's like, well, you know, we fight all the time. I was like, exactly. She's got. She's stronger than you are. She's at least saying this Relationship is, I can't do this anymore. Now, the cool part is, is fast forward this game six, seven months. They didn't get divorced, but it took her taking a declaration of, oh, wait for it, divine divorce for them to shift. Now, what ended up happening is the way those two were showing up for each other in marriage was dysfunctional and it was demanding divorcement. And you're listening to the show right now. You may be in a relationship like that where your, your marriage, it demands a divorcement so that you can open up to a new divine destiny. Destiny. Like you can create a new possibility inside your relationship because the current relationship has restrictions to it. Danielle and I are not the same people. I mean, come on now, let's like, be serious here.

I feel like we've all softened a little bit. Like, I don't know how else to describe it. I mean, like, people will be like, well, how did you do it? And the only thing I could tell them is like, time, patience, commitment. Like, I mean, I know those are all, like, cliche answers, but there's so much truth in that. There's so much. I did a post today, I was like, people, people underestimate the small consistencies daily that create a big win in life and that go in a relationship as well. And so many people are quick to be like, well, I've really been trying for six months. And you're like, motherfucker, like, how long you been married? Like, come on now, six months. Good for you. You really gave it your all. So you kind of have to look at it in that perspective of like, how long did it take you to fuck up your relationship? How long have you been married? How much time are you willing to put forth? I mean, if your relationship is not in a good place, that's not overnight. That's by little things that you were doing every day. So you have to reverse it. And over time, all of a sudden you're like, wow, I kind of like you a little more and more. And that' a relationship is built off is just that energy of both committing to making good choices together and knowing. I think when you it up too, like, you're in this space where you. You see signs of like, we're not going back there. Like, there were so many times where Garrett and I wanted to slip back and do, like, old, stupid things, and we still do. And. And then I have to look at myself and be like, come on, you're. You're better than that. Like, come on, this is stupid. And when I, like, call myself out in my own head, I'm like, okay. And I'm able to look at the situation, whatever it is, more clearly. And I think that Garrett can do the same. I mean, I don't want to speak for you, but used to set us off in the past or arguments that would reoccur. I've noticed we both just like, are kind of like, no, this isn't going anywhere. Let's not snap back into that. That old relationship that we used to have.

This, my friends, is what we call divine divorce.

Oh, my gosh.

You knew I was going to wrap that in. I knew eventually. I get you seduced onto my side. Yeah, it's the backside of the song. So this came inside your own world comes down to the following. A decision. Right? No. Notice the world. I was talking to another gentleman on the phone, another client of mine, and I said, and he was, he's having problems, his relationship. And he's like, you know, I just can't keep doing this. I can't keep doing this. And I said, I can't keep doing what? He's like, well, I just can't keep doing this. I can't keep doing this. And I was like, listen. I was like, by. By can't keep doing this, you keep referencing dealing with her. I was like, here's the thing that I know, though. What I know right now, listening to you, is you're not committed. That's what I know. I was like, you flip flop. You're like a flipper flopper. You're committed today, you're not committed tomorrow. Like, the thing that changed inside my relationship, the, the divorcement in my mind.

I think that had a hard time trusting you because I felt like you were a flip flopper. I was like, I'm like, oh, okay, so you're cool this week, but you're not cool next week. When divorce is on the table, it's hard to or like, have trust with somebody. And a built on a relationship is built off of trust. So if you have a partner where you feel like, like divorce, they're. They're dangling the divorce papers on you, like, that doesn't work either. It's. I felt like that, you know, if I'm being really honest here, I felt like that's what Garrett was doing for, like, years to me. And I. I was so tired. I was just like the point where I was like, okay, if this is not going to work out, like, I can't even trust you. Like, if you're just going to like, dangle these Divorce papers, like, because you feel like we're married to the wrong people, like, that's not going to help the situation. And then something. And I don't know, maybe you can share, but something shifted in you where you, like, were, like, okay, like, you just. You change. You're like, I'm committed. Like, and to me, like, I knew, like, okay, we can get in an argument. We can get in a sticky space. But I know that you're not, like, dangling the divorce papers anymore. Like, you, like, I don't know. I don't know. From your perspective, what changed? If it was just such little things.

Over time or there was a decision. Like, it was crazy. Like, it was literally a decision. And we had been going through so much stuff back and forth, and I've been doing so much work trying to figure this out, and you and I had both kind of gone to this place of, you know, we. We all both acknowledge we could get divorced and be married to somebody else, and we could both be happy down the path. But the one thing that wouldn't have changed was either of us. Like, we were still going to the same people, which means it was highly likely. For me, that would have been divorce number two, Danielle. Divorce number one. That we were going to head down the same path and find the same problems because we wouldn't have changed. And so inside of me, what allowed. I kept wanting things to be different, but what was not different was my commitment to Danielle and my commitment to our marriage. Meaning I just emotionally was not committed in the sense of saying, okay, divorce is, like, not a negotiate, not a negotiable conversation right now. Like, I'm in. Like, I'm in long haul. Figure this out. Let's go. And when that happened, I noticed in Danielle there was a. Like, things started to shift. And what shifted us was not some magic. What shifted us was a commitment. And that commitment opened up trust. And so maybe as we wrap up today's show, the simple thing you need to take a look at is this. Is that your challenge is not that you have chaos and conflict in your marriage. Marriage. The challenge is. Is that you. You're literally knocking on divorce. Door of divorcement, which means you've got a divine divorce on your hands. Doesn't mean you're gonna file papers and leave each other and go sleep with other people. It's like, listen, no, you've got to be willing to divorce the way things have been and open yourself up to the divine possibility of the way they could be. Now I'm just gonna Pull right here because I'm leaving.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

You're amazing. Dropping. Dropping her off to get her hair done. So final thoughts, Final thoughts from you.

Final thoughts for me. I think I already said it. Like, don't. Don't underestimate the small consistencies in life that will create big wins. Stay committed and be patient and kick your husband in the ass every now and again if he needs it.

Well done. And sometimes some blow jobs. That'd be nice. Anyways, that's all we got for you this week, my friends.

Have a baby this month.

Might get a baby this month. Yes, this month. You're making a baby. We'll give you pass. I will see you tonight for date night. Have a wonderful get down on that giant G wagon with your baby belly. Mini skirt, baby belly. All right. Love you. All right, we're gonna finish the show up now and I'm gonna give you a few, few more thoughts here on this. As my beautiful wife walks into the salon to go get her hair done. She is going to her own salon and her artists are going to take care of her natural beady rocks. Are that intentions? I love her. She's walking right now. So hot. It's crazy. So the first two babies that we had together, Bailey and Ruby, are 12 and 8 year old. Things were very different, my friends. They were very different. Different as a husband, different as a partner. Like, they were extremely different than they are now as a couple. Couple. And it's. It's super fun to be in a place that we are right now. And all of that has been driven by where each one of us got individually, where I got and where she got. And so if we want to continue this path for next, like, couple minutes, wrap the show up of this divine divorcement, like, this is a real thing, guys. Like, it's a real thing. Like, you've got to be willing to divorce you. Do you realize that no matter what, no matter how good things are right now, no matter how great things are right now, no matter how. How powerfully connected you feel to who you are and what you guys have, do you realize that the next version of your relationship as a couple is impossibly held hostage by the current constraints of what you believe is possible today? Like, let. Let that sit for a second. So, like, you might be in a really shitty marriage right now, or maybe you're in a very. A powerfully connected marriage marriage, but no matter where it's at, there's another level calling you. And in order to get to that next level, There's a divine divorcement upon you. And divine in the sense that, like, God's giving you an opportunity with agency to choose. Like, to choose what you. What you believe, to choose what you do, to choose what you want, to choose how you desire things to be like. All of this divine mind game is a part of being a human being inside this experience. And then we choose to be in relationship with another person and things get spicy and there's. There's a decision. And that divorce, when I'm talking about, is something that happens daily. Now, just today, driving with Danielle to the doctor's office, there were several moments where conversations, we were talking and I normally get triggered and I got triggered, but I did something different. Instead of, like, making it a big deal, I. There's like a. It's okay. And I could feel the emotions rising inside and the frustration, a little bit of irritation in the moment. And then I made a different decision. Well, that's divine divorcement. And on the other side of your divorce is a new path and a new possibility of destiny. Like, there's a new destiny on the other side of divorce. And divorce is simply choosing to do something different. To lay down and to put aside that which is old and not what. Working for something that is new and can work and should work and will work. Danielle and I work. We're not perfect. Doesn't mean we don't fight, doesn't mean we don't debate, doesn't mean we don't argue. But is like a thousand percent better than it ever was before. And this is the first time in the last, like, couple years as a couple where we start to have the visions of literally growing old together, lying in bed, holding hands. Hands and dying. Like, when we're 90s, hundreds, I don't know. But there. There's no end in sight. And the minute that our marriage got to a place where it didn't matter, there's no. There's no set of titties on the planet. They're gonna pull me away from my life. Like, there's no. There's nothing. There's no guy, like shredded six pack guy that's gonna pull my wife away from me. Like, we are all in with each other. And this has created a respect and a trust and a bond. And here's the biggest trust piece. It's created a vision for a future that is so much bigger than the current one that we live in and the one that we live in right now. Our current reality is amazing. But without a bigger vision and Without a bigger future for you as a couple, you will perish every single time. So what do you choose? What do you choose? Right. It's, it's a simple decision. If you're a woman listening to this, what are you choosing to divorce? What are you choosing to divorce and how you show up. If you're a man listening to show, what are you choosing to divorce and how you show up? Because without the divorcement and without the decision to do it, nothing's going to change, my friends. So I got free today. Here's a couple reminders. If you are currently inside this game but do not have access to the Warrior book, you can check that out by heading over to warriorbook.com and we've got access to the curriculum of the Warriors Way, which could be very powerful for you. Also, we have a powerful podcast at Warrior on Fire. You can look that up on iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher and you can find a daily 20 minute discussion that I have every single day around the principles of power and production linked up to the principles inside of the Warrior book. So it may be a free tool for you. Another supplemental tool to be able to use here with the date you y podcast. Either way, I hope you guys have a fantastic rest of your day and we will talk to you next week.