The Game of Having It All | Date Your Wife | EP 126

Hey. Hey. This show brought to you by Aloe, Aloe vera and Aloe workout gear for fit women who want to turn their husbands on.

This hat turns you on?

Does turns me on because I only think about you naked while wearing it.

I am literally.

You've been naked. Wear that hat before.

I have no makeup on. I've been at the beach all day with children.

Hot.

And I barely rinsed off. Threw on a ball cap, hotel and a pair of jean shorts and a.

Tight T shirt that barely covers your tits.

It's just like cropped.

Barely covers your tits. Wow.

I can't wear. I feel like I'm like so covered up right now. And the first thing you say is, you're like, you're hot.

I've been working all day.

You're going to get it. I'm like, I don't know how to respond. Still in mom mode at some point. Give a girl a minute.

Is it weird in mom mode to be when I come at you like that?

Compartmentalize your thoughts. Have kids. And then I'm like, have sex with my husband. And I'm like, Then I'm like, multitasking.

Is there ever time you're thinking when you're with the kids, I'd like to have sex with my husband. Has this ever happened while you're with the kids?

No.

Never. Not one time. You've been with the kids and looked.

At me and said, it does happen. When we are having sex, there's sometimes I'm like, can I like, did I ever talk about you having sex? I think about the kids and I'm like, no, no. Don't think about kids while having sex.

Turn it off.

Turn it off.

Oh, shit. I've not thought about the kids one time when we're having sex.

Any mom who. You fucking ladies, you know, you know this. You're going over the checklist, you're like, did I get that done? Did I take out the garbage? Did I call this person? Then you're like, baby, I like it.

Woo. Woo.

And then you're like, back to the checklist.

Oh, my God, you're horrible. That's why. See, that's why it's so tough for women to have orgasms. Well, not all of them sometimes because your brains are thinking. Guys can't think about anything. But I mean, when we're in the heat of the moment, there's not thinking about anything else. That's not true. You probably think about, you know, other guys. Some guys think about other women while they're having sex. With their wives. I. I've heard of this. I like, have you ever thought about having sex with. Were you ever in your mind having sex with another man when you were.

Having sex with me, Was I ever having sex with another man while I was having.

In your mind.

In your mind, it's like this hot.

Like, it's always Brad Pitt. You're always having sex with Brad P. Always Brad Pitt.

Damn it. It's always Brad.

That's a good looking guy. And you're trying to mess up my.

New haircut and look like Brad Pitt. Fight club. Not German soldier Brad Pit. It's just always Fight Club.

Fight Club. Pretty hot. Hard to beat that guy in the fight club. Look like that walking around 24 7. See if you're thinking about kids while having sex.

Licking his abs. Licking his abs.

I was like, God, woman, you're getting dirty.

Anyways, welcome to the date your wife podcast.

I'm this guy's wife and I'm this girl's husband.

You fucking fired.

So people say, I cut you off on this show.

No. One guy did that turned into some. One guy's lame ass comment on that turned into some. I know, I read more people. It's funny because I started collaborating, posting. I never get any, like, even remotely spicy comments. Like, I used to, but now I just don't.

You're not disciplined. The shirt brought to you by warrior greens. Keep going about comments. I don't know.

Like, it's funny because when I collaborate with you, then we get some more spicy ones. Roll in.

Yeah.

And I, I sometimes when I read the comments, I'm like, did you eat? Did you listen to more than like the 32nd reel? Like, did you actually go to the show or did you just like, I know. And so that's why I'm like, whatever you're talking about.

The overweight, definitely undersexed.

I don't even go on their profile.

Nerd collision therapist.

Now I'm at the point where, like, when people make comments, I literally just send a laughing emoji. Like, you're. You're the dumbest. I can't even. Yeah, I'm like, I can't even respond. I'm like, I'm like, I can't even respond. Like, go fuck yourself.

It's like, you're a stupid bitch. Laughy heart emojis. Yeah. So, hey, we're going to a wedding this week.

I don't think you're supposed to say.

I'm not gonna say. Well, no, we get. No, can we say, I don't think.

You can say sorry, sir.

Oh, we actually can't. We can't say, can we?

No, you cannot, sir.

Okay.

So stay tuned to our looks. I have a really pretty.

They're gonna know if you're doing looks at the wedding.

I don't have to say whose wedding it is.

We're going to a wedding. It's a high profile wedding. You have to sign like waivers to go to the wedding.

I can say I can show what I'm wearing to a wedding.

Well, I'm the best friend. I'm not. I'm one of the best friend, not best friend. I'm one of the co ally friends of the guy getting married.

It'll be fun.

To a very high profile woman and he's a high profile man. But I'm excited for them. I'm excited because the thing is we only know them. We don't know them as high profile people. We know them as just cool, amazing people.

But I think the reason this is like important to him and you is like, you Warrior really impacted him and his relationships. And then like it was like after he was involved in Warrior that he met this woman. And I didn't realize. I'm sure there's a lot of times like you don't realize the impact you're making in somebody's life until they come back and they're like, hey, I need you to know, like I pulled a 180 because you intercepted at this time in my life. You know what I mean?

It's crazy to think about just the impact. Well, the individuals are gonna be there. Like pretty much the bro line at this wedding is like dudes who are like, have been very connected. Warrior. And it was interesting thinking like the impact, you go back to 2017 when I first met these guys and just the amount of change that they have gone through in five years to end up.

How long have you known this specific guy?

Five years, 2017.

That a lot can happen in five years.

Yeah. Well, he's the graduate of Warrior week twice. Graduate of all of our programs. Him and his partners have done like amazing shit. They actually took the, when they coming to Warrior, they took the business from it's right around 35 million a year to a billion. When they came into wire in less than five years, they went from 30 million a year to billion dollar get on that plane. Publicly traded company. Yeah, it was amazing. But that, but the biggest change that happened for all of them was what's went off in their relationships and marriage. Like it's interesting like how complete an individual can feel once they're in relationship with somebody that's like their person.

Well, and you know what's crazy is like, I think a lot of times, and I'm sure it goes for men and women, like, you pour so much time into your business that you're like, well, I can't possibly have it all. But you don't understand the impact if you don't have a healthy relationship where you could take your business and vice versa, and they kind of bleed into each other. So I think you get to this place where it's like you just prioritize your time better. And if you have more time with your kids or your significant other or whatever it is, you really value what you do in business. You're like, my time is worth X, Y and Z. And, and that's just, that's just kind of like in my experience, like, even after I had kids, that's how I felt like it was. I was, all of a sudden, I was like, no, I'm only working with these people. I'm only working these hours. Like, end of discussion. Like, I don't care. Like, these are my boundaries.

Very interesting to get clear on rules. Because you know what? I don't think in the beginning, like, people hear us talk about going on dating dates and, you know, take your wife on a date and date your wife. Obviously named the podcast. I'll hear about the, you know, the children and hiring nannies and things like this. And over and over again I hear from guys the narrative of not being willing. Like, they don't see the value in their time. So they don't have the willingness to invest the money to buy time to be with their spouse.

I think that's the bigger thing is they'll, like, if you look at what it's costing you by not doing that, right. Like, I was talking to my teams this morning. We were having a call and we were, there's this ad company we want to hire. And Jeff is going back and forth. He's like, they're going to charge us way too much. And I said to Jeff, I go, jeff, what, what is this? What is the cost of not hiring them right now? Like, yeah, they might be higher price, but we've been sitting in this six month limbo of trying to find the perfect person. This has already cost me money by not investing in somebody. And so that's why I look at it. Like we were like, oh, you know, I don't want to invest in trips or I don't Want to invest in what? Whatever it is. And it's like, we'll look at the return in your investment and what that can do then feeds back directly into your business.

Did you guys drop Grow Revolution?

No, but that's who. We were trying to figure some stuff out, and they're taking forever to get back to us.

You guys don't get it figured out.

We, we are working on it. We were waiting for proposal back, and that's where Jeff was like, I think this is either out of their wheelhouse or they're. It's more customized, so they're going to come back with a higher quote. And I. And he's like, so I don't know, I'm going to look at another direction, another option. I go, we don't have any other options. So, like, I mean, there's technology.

I mean, there is.

I was like, but let's entertain this option because we've been sitting in this place of like, no, not you, not you. I don't want to date you. I don't want to date you. I don't want to date you. And I'm like, you got to date. You gotta have some reps and experiences to date somebody else, whether it's in business or in life. Like, you, you gotta, you gotta.

But here's the crazy part, right? If you're not willing to put in. I tell people this with ad teams too, and this is relative to marriage and relationships. There is no miracle cure ad team. Like, there's no company that's gonna step into your business and just magically make your shit work. There's no funnel team that's gonna build you a fucking. If somebody could give you a $10 million year sales funnel, and it was as easy as that, they wouldn't give it to you. They'd keep it themselves and tell you to fuck off. You think you' thousand dollars for a million dollar sales funnel is actually. If I could actually do that with you doing nothing, I would just keep it and hire you to work for me. So the same thing goes for dealing with like, like a couple in a relationship. Keith and I were talking to this on the Married Game podcast, which, by the way, we're having a lot of fun on that podcast. We did two podcasts today.

I'm glad that Keith got more of your time than I did.

No. Did you know the Las Vegas Raiders football players were there?

5 o' clock's kind of a rough time for me to do.

We can do podcasts in the middle of the day.

We do the middle of the day.

I'm willing for a.

Can you give Keith my spot?

I can. But you weren't willing to be committed in the middle of the day. You always have an eyelash appointment or some tanning cream, special sign up facial.

You got a Groupon at the local massage.

You don't do Groupon anything. If there was a program for opposite Groupon which is had it paid three times much. Oh, you didn't know this. Look what Keith got me. Keith got me a brand new Rolex.

Fucking Keith. I was. I have surprises going on. Keith, what the fuck? Keith.

Keith got me a Rolex.

I have surprises coming up for something. And you're.

You see this? I got a Rolex.

Stop trying to one up me.

My best friend gave me a Rolex. What did you give me for today's episode?

I didn't give you anything for today's episode. But I had some stuff in works not for this weekend, for something else.

But this weekend took care of things.

Oh, that's fine. I can always.

You were amazing this weekend, by the way.

Oh, my God. How does it go back to that?

It always goes back to that.

You were saying something else. Yeah, but you forgot. You got like.

I thought about this weekend and then I forgot everything about what I was talking about, which typically happens to guys. Okay, so coming back. So relationships. We'll come back to this TTF weekend. But here, here's this thing like, like if you put in. Oh, this is what we were talking about. So Keith's like, listen, it's not about finding the perfect. You know, it's not about finding. What was the fucking quote he used? It was like dealing with relationships. That marriage is not about finding a marriage. Finding a marriage that you work on. It's about finding a marriage that works. He's like, getting a relationship with another person is not about finding a relationship you can work on. It's getting into a relationship that works. And Keith was like talking about how this kind of him up a little bit psychologically with being a relationship with women, period. Because there was this idea that you would get to something finding a relation.

Say that again.

Find it. You are better off to find a marriage that works than to be in a relationship where you have to work on your marriage. Meaning the premise of the principle, you're.

Always going to have to work on your marriage.

Well, that's the point though, is that the message that he was giving it was Dan Sullivan from Strategic Coach, according to Heath. I don't. I've never read A quote by this. So, I don't know. I mean, I was student at any consultant for 10 years. I have nothing bad to say about him whatsoever.

I was trying to wrap my brain around what you were saying.

The principle, though, was like. Like, the idea, at least way it's interpreted, is I get into a relationship that works, that does not require me to keep working. Meaning, go find one that works, and then you won't have to work so hard on your relationship.

But I disagree.

I. Well, that's the whole point of our Mary Game podcast we did today, because.

I feel like you find something, obviously you're gonna find something that works. Like, you're not gonna get. You're not gonna, like, marry her, get together with somebody if it's like, there's not an element of, like, this works. I really like you. Like, otherwise you'd move on.

I think the interpretation is probably more this idea that you're not going to have to do a ton of work.

Well, yeah, but that's still kind of a stupid thing, because who would get like. I guess unless. Unless you're like, getting with somebody because it's like an arranged marriage. Like, obviously you're like, that might not work out.

But the idea is that. I think the fundamental. The reason it came up is because we were talking about the propaganda lies of marriage and this idea that you can get into a relationship without collision.

Yeah, that's how I feel. Like, most healthy relationships start, like, you're gonna have a chemistry. You're gonna get along. You're like, in the newly wed phase, right? Like, that's why they call it the newlywed phase. And then all of a sudden, that wears off. And all of a sudden you're like, you. You're like, how did I not see this before? Because you had your freaking goggles on. You're like, this works. Goggles on.

This works.

And then all of a sudden you're like, how do I turn this around? Because this no longer works anymore. Right.

Well, this become.

And you have to work toward work for it. Like, to say that you get married and you don't have to work at it after is silly.

I think one of the things that people have to work on a relationship is the. Is the. So, like, it's like the commandment in the mind has been, thou shalt not fight. And yet the. Well, this is like, if you think about it, fighting was, like, kind of a taboo thing. So we didn't really do it.

Well, if you think that you're taboo.

I did. We didn't fight that often. When we were first growing. When we first married, when we were first growing up. First growing up, we were doing that too. We were first growing up. We didn't fight a whole lot.

No, I remember we fought.

I think we fought, but not a lot.

Race those memories. I remember fighting you. I remember living in Vegas and being, like, fighting all the time.

Really?

Yeah. I remember sleeping in another room set lots of times. I remember Vegas. I remember, like, being mad at you because I'm like, we had no kids, and you worked till like, 10 or 11 every night. And you were like, I'm building my mortgage company. And I was like, I might as well work. But then I would. Then you would come home exhausted at 10pm and then you'd be like, well, are you coming to bed? And I'm like, I. You're welcome to come spend time with me. And you'd literally, like, we fought all the time. You don't remember this? I remember, like, sitting. I was really into, like.

I was lost, wasn't I?

I was really in my.

I can't even fucking remember the fights. I blanked.

I'd come home and I'd watch shows.

Like, what time would you come home?

I usually worked till about seven or eight. Cause I was like, well, if he's gonna work till 9 or 10.

And I would work later than that.

You. I just remember always eating dinner by myself, like, literally. And like, we didn't have kids and I didn't care. We still did date nights and stuff when we in Vegas. But I remember you would work a lot. I remember you would come home and I would be watching. I love, like, these home rendition shows.

Where they'd, like, yeah, the home makeover show.

Yeah. And I'd always be watching those. And you didn't like them. And you'd be like, so irritated. You're like, well, I'm going to bed. Like, you.

I was going. I was saying, like, you're gonna miss out on all.

I realized that. And I was like, you should come hang out with me. And you were like, I don't want to watch these dumb shows. And I was like, I know.

And then I go upstairs, masturbate, and feel bad about it.

I want to go have sex with you right now. Then. So pretend like you might like my dumb shows, and I'll pretend like I want to have sex with you right now.

How much do you think drinking had to do with that? Because we weren't drinking at the time.

No, you have this story that, like, we had to we. Like, I enjoy drinking. That's fine. But, like, you're like, couldn't have been who we are today without drinking. I don't know if I necessarily believe that, but I think this element of us just, like, surrendering to one another and just being like, oh, like, just getting out of this bubble and this, you know, being raised Mormon and, like, this guilt and the shame, and here's a checklist, and here's how you should do it, and the man should work and the woman should want to put out. And like. Like, it's like that. What I remember when I was. We were first married is it was like, we. When we were dating, even though we. You worked a lot and you still got home at 10. I remember we'd hang out. Like, we'd go. That's how college life was. Like, we met in college, and we'd go and hang out and talk. And then it was like, we got married, and all of a sudden, we didn't have to. We were like. We didn't. We stopped talking as much. We stopped, like, hanging out. It didn't matter what time we were hanging out, but when we were dating, we always wanted to hang out. And then we got married, and it was like the story of, like, you must hustle and grind and build an empire for your family, and she must be grateful and she must put out. And that was like, the narrative of how we were raised. And so no wonder we kind of drifted. So I would say we. We definitely fought, but we kind of. That's when the numbness started. Like, honestly is. We. We. We met. We had chemistry, like, right out of the gate. Like, I was like, God, I don't even want to like this guy. And there was a lot of chem. And then it was like, we tried to follow the checklist, and then we kind of went numb. And then we drifted, and then we, like, came back, and then we built, and, like, now we're here. We are, right? And it was like, increments of, like, two years here, two years here, two years here. It was like. It was like a roller coaster. And then I was like, it's kind of stabilized for a little bit. And now I'm kind of finally, like, to this place where I'm like. Like, if I don't show that I'm committed at this point. And I think both of us kind of got to the place where we're just, like. We said this in our. Our last few podcasts. Like, I was like, you're my fucking person. I have Four kids with you now, Like, I'm not sure. I'm not like, going anywhere. Like, I'm here. And I believe that we're in business and in life, we can do more together. But in order to do more together, we have to stop competing. And it has to be this like, thing of like, I support you, you support me. I support you. I support me. Because in the past it was always kind of like competing because we didn't feel safe.

I get that 100%. We had a. We. We had gotten, I mean, the spirit of collision. We were at dinner on Saturday night and I was fatigued. I'd worked 13 out of 14 days in a row. And prior to that, we were on family vacation for seven straight days. And prior to that, I could tell, even I was gone for five days on a plant medicine.

I could tell you were so tired, even just like going out, like four.

Weeks of just fucking grinding.

And I was like. I was kind of in one of those. Usually when we go out, I'm usually like, let's talk and connect. And I was kind of like, let's just fucking get hammered.

Let's get hammered naked later. But.

And it turned out well.

It did turn out well.

Sometimes you need meaningful conversations and sometimes you just need to get fucking hammered and. And have lots of crazy sex. And that's great.

Well, I'm gonna dress before the crazy sex because that was amazing. We'll talk about that in a second.

Let's not.

But okay, we can still. Anyways, but I was in fatigue pocket and I tried to start a fight.

I know, I could tell. And I got so fucked up.

I tried to start a fight at dinner.

And you, like, even, you're like, you never say this and this. And I finally was like, are you. I'm gonna punch you.

Just tell them what it was about, though.

No. Do you wanna tell em what it's about?

Yeah, tell them what it's about. So there's a text thread called the Whites. It's not racist. It's my last name.

It's our family and we happen to.

Have that skin color outside of the tattoo parts of my body. So people are like, oh, it's racist. I'm like, eh, fuck you last name and the color of my skin. So be what it was, right? If I was black and my last name was black and we called it the Blacks, it would be the same.

So anyways, it's our family text thread.

So I'm sitting there in the text thread and there's this comparison game Going on because my son is getting very fit.

And I wasn't comparing you.

No. And I. I'm going to quote a few things. Go to the white thread. Let's.

No, no, no.

Let me. Let me quote.

Nope.

You, You.

Let me tell you how the conversation.

Here's where I went. Here's. That is.

I knew you were.

Dad doesn't like. No, no, no.

You are so jerky by this.

Here it is. Dad doesn't like thinking about it. So I took. Nope, nope. Let's come back up. Here it is. Hahaha. Dad, I think likes the dad bod. This is from your son of muscle.

This is from your.

So with a hint of dad bod. The fact that I even get compared to dad bod at this point in the goddamn game. We are so off of fucking center and our true north as a family.

Just to be clear, I need to.

Call a conference of the family just to clear up this fucking delusion that's happening.

People say you cut me off. So I just want to address, just to be clear, one guy, sexless marriage therapist. I just want to make sure. Because you said the people. You said some people.

So makes love to himself in a toilet.

Anyways, I just want to be clear. I did not say that in the thread. Your son did.

But you were bringing it up at dinner.

No, here's what I brought up at dinner and don't you cut me off.

Go.

What I brought up at dinner is you were talking about how fatigued you were and I asked you, what are your workouts you're doing? Because I was laughing. Because that morning I had a virtual event and I did a spin class. I don't ever, hardly even do spin classes anymore. But for some reason, the day I had an event, I decided to do a spin class. I got there, I showed up, I couldn't even get my words out. Like, I was like, so you put the bead. And I was like. And Ani was like, are you okay? I was like, I don't. Maybe I need more caffeine. And they're like, what are you. What is wrong? I was like, my brain's like, not computing. I was like, you know, I did a hot, sweaty spin class. And they were like, oh my God, Danielle. They're like, you cannot.

You.

You can't do that. And I was like. And I never thought about my phone's ring. I never thought about the fact that, like, I have to be pretty mentally sharp to train. And you trained really, really hard this week.

Yep.

So my mind and then I. So I was thinking about that, and then I'm laughing at the text thread that your son is talking about. So anyways, you took it as like, I don't have a dad bod and then tried to start a fight with me, and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I was just saying, like, you're tired. I get it. I'm tired. I trained all week too. Plus, I work out a lot. And I know how you work out affects your mental clarity in order to teach and train. So I need you to reel it in, sir. And you kind of did this thing where you kept wanting to start a fight, and I finally was like, I'm not gonna fucking fight with you. I'm not gonna fight with you. I'm not gonna fight. Are you gonna continue this? I will walk out of this fucking restaurant. And then I finally just. You kept going. So I finally just changed the subject. I was like, hey, let's talk about this. And I just was like, I'm gonna let it go.

You need to talk to dad into lifting more. He thinks swinging a kettlebell around is lifting. Hey, it appears that you're the one that took this conversation off the rails, because prior to this was simply complimenting my son on his gains, and now we. You, not him. You pulled it off the rails right here.

That's not what I meant to bring.

Up dad into lifting more. He thinks swinging a kettlebell around is lifting. So let's talk about this really quickly. Why do you think that kettlebells and surfing is not a workout?

I. Let me. Okay, you need to calm down, sir.

I'm not trying. I'm. Do you hear anyone outrageously upset right now? I'm not fatigued at the end of 15 days of working.

What I'm saying is, at dinner, I was not thinking. I was thinking about how my day. And then I brought up that. And then you started talking about the text thread, and that's how it all kept going in.

Well, I just. You were talking about my shoulders, but also.

No, I think kettlebells is a workout. But what I will tell you, my experience.

It is a workout.

Okay, that's great. My experience when I swing kettlebells around is my whole body hurts. It's like my whole body hurts, like, every muscle. My sides, my arms, my back, my.

We went and played with a tennis ball, throwing back and forth with a.

Sticky, and only one muscle hurt.

And your. You got sore. So I don't really take this I used to kettlebell and got sore thing. Okay, well, I Did a salt here.

Bikini competitions, and I learned a lot about fitness and lifting.

You look hot too, right now. Yeah.

So I'm just saying, like, you. You're talking to me like I'm not educated in lifting.

You like that. You are talking about. You're like. You're educated surfing kettlebells.

What I was trying to tell you is I think that kettlebells fatigues your body too much.

Okay.

It's my personal opinion, and I think it's like, when you do. People do full body hit workouts, I'm like, why are you doing that to yourself? You're just fatiguing your entire body. Then you're infl. And you're inflamed the next day, rather than just pick and working that and letting your body recover in between. And then you're not mentally like the next day because your whole body is sore and trying to recover. So that's.

I don't really get sore like that, though.

Okay. Well, I. I just know when I do kettlebells, which is very rarely, and if I do them, I'm working, like, a single leg deadlift or I'm working, like, one single part of my body. I'm not swinging them around. I watch you. You're like, oh, you're. I mean, I'm. I. My body hurts just watching you do that.

Some guys ran by and said that.

I'm not saying it's not a workout. I'm saying, is that an effective workout for how hard you have to train? And could that add to your fatigue level? And if it does, why would you not cut that kettlebells out and find a different workout that helps assist with your mental clarity?

Well, when I'm training for my bikini competitions, I don't do kettlebells.

I don't give a shit if you train for a bikini competition. I was trying to get the simple fact out that how you train your body affects your mental clarity. And then you got So I had to be like, I'm done. Like, I don't care. You look great. You look great. You look hot.

What?

I. You. You do. You look fit. I even told you. I'm like, I don't care. You. I think you look great, so I'm gonna put a pin in this one.

Do you feel like earlier in our relationship was hard for you to give compliments?

Do I feel like, what early in.

Our relationship, do you feel like it was hard for you to give compliments?

I'm not like, someone who, in general, thinks you give people compliments.

Why do you not. Do you care about getting compliments?

I'm not a person who.

But do you like to get compliments?

Honestly, it depends. Because, like, sometimes when somebody gives me a compliment, I'm so awkward, and I'm like, I don't. I, like, don't know how to respond. I'm like, please don't give me a lot of attention. Like, don't. Like, I, like, I feel like I'm like, I know I'm pretty, but, like, if somebody's like, oh, you look really pretty or you look really fit, I'm like, I. Immediately, I'm like, thanks. Like, I get, like, really awkward. So I honestly don't know. Like, I. I don't know if I love compliments. Like, I. I think I like them from you, but in general, I don't know that I care. Like, if anything, I get a little bit weird and uncomfortable. And even Ani, she'll laugh so hard at me because, like, students will be like, danielle, you're awesome. And, like, in a class or whatever, and I'll be like, yeah. And Ani will laugh and be like, danielle is the most awkward person with a compliment. Just so everybody knows.

Is that so? Is it because you're awkward in receiving them? Do you feel like other people are awkward in receiving them, too?

No, I just. I think because it's not necessarily, like, my love language, I don't think to do it, so. But being married to you, I know you love. Tell me. Touch me and fuck me.

Yeah, I do.

I feel like I have gone.

That's a love language, by the way.

Out of my comfort zone of being like, you worked really hard this week.

You did real good on stage.

You're welcome. Fuck off.

So what do you think about taking pictures of yourself or your husband?

It's a secret file.

I know. Why do you think. Do you think most women do this? Take, like, very scandalously, powerfully sexy photos for their husband?

I don't know. Probably. I think it's not.

I know the fact is not. I know. The fact is that Disney.

I don't know if it happens in married life a lot, but I know.

That in dating, single life, for sure.

Yeah, for sure.

I'm talking about married couples at 20 years or longer. That's it.

No, probably not. But I bet married couples do it. Young married couples, young married, mid married, old married. I don't know.

I don't know why someone would ever send a picture of their dick.

I don't want you to ever do that.

It seems weird.

Like, if I Got a big ball shot on my phone one day, I'd.

Be like, you're not putting that in your ex file. And just like 2:00 clock on an hour.

Don't say delete, delete, delete, delete.

We come over in the middle and you're bored. Afternoon. Like, what are you doing? Holy. Holy balls. What are you looking at, Danielle? I just. My husband's dick. Yeah, probably not working out.

You know what, and, but do any girls like this?

I don't understand. There's like this dick pic thing. Is your thing though. Like people do this.

I don't think I would like it. We could try it. I'm open minded. But it better not be. I mean, you better be showing off. I mean, don't just send me. Just don't just send me. Don't just send me a photo after your kettlebell workout. If you're gonna show up, you better show up.

Oh, all right, I'll try one. I'll try one.

I'm scared. Make sure you have a ring light or like some good lighting. Oh, God.

Some good shadow work. I'll go get a spray tan.

You know like when you're like flexing in the mirror, it's all about the light coming out.

Yeah. I get a spray tan on it.

I need you to trim it up.

That'll be the next adventure. You're like, what was the next breakthrough in your marriage? When I started sending very strategic dick pics to my wife.

I don't know, I'm kind of curious now.

But now you're curious. Has anyone in the history of your life ever sent you a dick pic?

No. I've been married to you since I was 20.

I've never sent one to you, so I didn't know. I mean, back in the day it would have been impossible. Then a project, you'd have to look at a picture, get it developed, ship it in an envelope.

Okay, listen, this is what I like. I like being able to have said photos and it's like the middle of the afternoon. I'm like, this will be funny. And I like, I think that's very powerful. I can just send you a random photo and literally if I can't get a hold of you, like immediate response, you're like, holy shit, I was just in a training and now I can't even focus. And I'm like, you did that last week. I got him like, to me, I think it's like funny. It's not funny. It's like kind of like. It's a Very powerful thing. I'm like, I hold the card there. Like, if you sent me a picture in the middle of the day, I'd be like, holy shit, I'm trying to work. Like, it wouldn't be. It wouldn't hold the same power.

I was sitting in this exact remote of the podcast, and I was doing a training for a bunch of clients and. And we were talking and having conversation. I have my iPad open next to my, you know, my command center that we're sitting here, did the podcast. It's my zoom room too. And she texts me this picture that's just like super hot, super nice, super spicy, super nasty. Like, just a great picture all across the board. Just that five star, amazing shot.

I'm a five star lady, and I.

Don'T see, like, I hear a bing on my iPad and I look to the right and I'm looking at the camera, at my guys, and I look to the right and there it is. And I'm like, oh, my God. I quickly look back to the camera to focus on my guys, and I'm like, all right. Kind of look back at the iPad and I start smiling. Like, I can't stop smiling. And I can't stop, like, smiling, smiling. Finally, I start laughing, and my clients are like, coach, what's going on? And I was like, dude, my wife just sent me, like, the hottest picture and they all just, like, started laughing. We were laughing.

Guys get said pictures.

No, most guys do not go. How many years did I go and not get those pictures? Your idea of a scandalous photo was like, a warrior T shirt with some full cover.

I think, honestly, I will say, like, the bikini competitions definitely helped me feel more, like, confident with my body. I always had a cute body. But I think, like, when I had to actually, like, go on stage, pose damn near ass hanging out, I'm like, was that intense?

What was that like for you the very first time, like, knowing you were going to do that? I mean, I can imagine it's very intense. Very.

This is very vulnerable. Yeah, you're like. Because I felt like I looked good, but I'm like, I'm getting older. I've had four babies. I'm like, all right. Like, this is still scary. Do you know what I mean? And I felt like I even didn't get my body to where I wanted it to. Like, but I still won in every category that I entered. And so for me, I'm like, oh, like, I'm such a perfectionist. And I kind of was like, okay, maybe I'm Being a little hard on myself. I look pretty good for my age and. And how many kids I've had, I'm like, okay. And I think it just, like, it gave me permission to just like, feel sexy and confident in that way. Do you know what I mean?

Do you have. Do I remember in Vegas you were talking about, I mean, when we first got married, like, almost 20 years ago, you were talking about fitness competitions.

Is that something I wanted to do.

It you wish you would have done sooner?

I honestly think I was so scared. Like, I'd always been kind of into. I think it's because I am a perfectionist. And I'm like, oh, how do they build their shapes? Like, everything is so balanced and like, I just always kind of had a draw to that. Plus, I really enjoy fitness and working out. But I would get scared in the sense of, like, I won't be able to do that, so I'm not going to try. And I'd think about it and I'd be like, oh. And the reason I did it is with. With our third daughter, Isla. I had such a scare with that DVT and everything else and preeclampsia. Did you know I got up to 168 with her?

With Hila?

Do you know I weigh like 108 pounds right now?

Wow.

60 pounds on my frame. And I just remember, like, looking in the mirror and I was like, oh. And I. How old was I? I was 37 when I had her. And I remember just being like, oh, I finally, wow. Like, I finally now have, like, the mom bod. And then I was like this.

Oh, yeah, dude. I remember your post pictures. You were super.

And I just snapped. I was like, I'm done. I'm like, what? I'm like. Because I felt like I even started eating healthy and I started working out and I wasn't getting the end results that I wanted. And I felt like I was like, busting my ass. And I was like, I refuse to believe it's because I've had kids and because I'm 37 years old. No. And I said, so I'm going to hire an expert nutritionist. I'm going to hire a specific bodybuilding coach. Like, at least if I try and educate myself, then I can see what my body can do. And I learned a lot.

And it was super hot watching you rise. I mean, like, even beyond, like, like beyond the sexuality, like, side of it. Like, just like, as a man, watching you claim your primal masculine and feminine intertwined power of certainty on that rise Was. I mean, it was incredibly invigorating as your husband to watch it happen. Like, I was very proud of you. Like, I was probably one of the most. I mean, you having babies was, like, so proud that I passed out on baby number two. I mean, I was super fucking proud of you with those too.

I think it was scary, too. I mean, I coach artists and hairstylists and I get up on stage with them and I'm like, those are my people, right? Like, but then to, like, put in this amount of, like, training and then get on stage and, like I said, damn near naked, plus posing in the routine, like, it was a lot.

I mean, you're. You're. You are. I was sitting there in your first show with me and the kids. It was during COVID and the world has shut down.

I'm trying to put on all this muscle with basically, like, hand weights and bands.

No gyms are open. You went into the. It was. You went into your first competition. We sat out. Cause of COVID we couldn't be in the room.

Yeah, it was rough.

So we're out on the hallway at the hotel on an iPad, buying it, watching it streamed, and you're in the room, and me and your coach and her boyfriend and Parker and Bailey and Ruby, and we're all just sitting there and we are just so nervous for you. And you come out and we're just like a pins, like, pin could drop. We're just like, all watching. And I'm looking at our girl and Arsana is like, everybody's so proud of you and everyone's pulling for you in a way. Like, it's not that we weren't pulling for you before, but there was something about the vulnerable nature of you doing something brand new you'd never done before, putting yourself in an environment of complete, nearly complete exposure. I mean, you're like 98% naked on stage and you're. And it's not. It's sexual, but it's like, it's a judgment of every single aspect of your physical body and what you've been able.

To do, which is, like, hard for women. Women already judge the shit out of themselves. And so I was like, well, here we go. But, you know what's so funny is I actually had more I fun with that show than I did my second one, but I felt like my body looked insane.

The second one, boss. On your second show you were on.

I felt like my body looked better than I was seven weeks pregnant on stage.

Do you have a desire to do a third show now that you're done with all the babies. I got a V or a doc.

I really like where I'm at right now, like, mentally and physically, but part of me is like, I got new boobs.

The new boobs have changed it.

So I'm like, so. And I'm kind of like. And I told Val, I go. My trainer. I go, you don't. I'm not putting on weight this summer. I'm skinny and lean, and you're not gonna give me shit about not eating my fucking rice. She's like, I know, I know. I go, in the winter, I'll put on some size, and we'll see where we're at next spring. She's like, okay, fine, but I mean, I gotta eat more. Like, I just.

But do you have. Do you feel like you're an intuitive woman? Do you see yourself doing a third show?

I don't know. I don't have the desire to do it, but that doesn't mean I won't. Like, I. I felt like I thought I was actually gonna do one this fall. I was like, my body. After I had Charlie, I was like, I'm definitely gonna do another one. I'm gonna have my fourth final show. I'm gonna do it. And then I was like, God, now I feel like I'm like, my standard of where I want to go if I do another show. Like, I almost look right now like how I did going into my first show. Yes. So I'm like, I look pretty good right now. So I'm kind of like. So my standard has risen. So I'm like, okay. Like, I'm like, I have to put in. In more work to get to that next level. I've already hit the level I did the first time. So if I want to get that high, if I want to be like, ah, I did it again, then I have to push my body somewhere where it's never been again. So kind of. So that's why I'm like, I'm not ready to commit, because it scares me, because I feel like I'm back at square one, even though I look as good as my first competition right now.

That's exactly what people face in marriage.

They face.

They face a marriage, which is, like, you have these moments where you push your marriage, and then you get to a place new and it's exciting, and then you are faced with another decision. Do we keep pushing? We push to another level?

Cause you're like, things are good. Yeah.

And, like, your standard raises. Right? So, like, what you expect for yourself what you expect out of your partner. What do you expect out of life, like, goes up. I mean, it's crazy when you think about it. We've been together for 21 years, 19 years after being married this summer.

Where do you feel like we could. Could challenge one another?

I think the. Challenge each other as a couple. I think the biggest challenge for me in 2023 would be to. To operate in my business life the way you do in your business life, which is to.

Do you think that'll change the dynamic.

Of us, our marriage? Yes, because it's going to create incredible amounts of space and time around the kids and you.

Yeah.

And I think that element alone of all the elements that could change in our relationship will be. That is me not working 50 hours.

I feel like I'm in a space where I am. I feel like I'm in a really good space right now. Like, I feel like I'm in this pocket. Like, I'm, like, just teetering on, like, on the edge of just feeling like I'm on fire. And I. I love it. It's a really good space. It was a rocky, like, year or so, being pregnant back to back and having two babies within two years, a lot of babies. So I feel like. I feel like I'm kind of riding out this high of, like, my knowing that I'm in this next chapter and even, like, feeling like my business is running and operating smoothly and I can come in when I choose on my terms. And I. But I also will say I kind of have this feeling like I want to create something else, but I don't know what that is because it's not necessarily internal right now. Like, I feel like if I. Right now, if I get too back in the trenches, I almost get in the way. Right. Like, there's certain things that are set in motion with my companies that, like, it doesn't make sense for me to come in and, like, come in and intercept the plan. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm better off, like, letting this kind of carry out and just, like, making sure that I'm not completely out of the picture, but I'm also not intervening and getting in the way. And I think that will be hard for you because I had to work on it really hard for the last year where I was like, I need to get out of my team's way. Like, I like the ripple effect of. Because I think it should go this way based on my lack of. Of being involved. You know what I mean? So if you decide you're gonna step out. Like, I just need you to know there's this piece where you have to. You really do. You have to work on letting go. And I don't know if you have that ability to do it.

That's why I say, like, this is one of. I mean, it's been the message over and over from God, like every day.

But it's not just about creating space, hun. Like, once you create that space, you literally have to get out of your own way.

Yeah, I know that. So you asked me what's the next stage for me, that'd be it. I've spent 20, 23 years straight working 50 to 60 hours a week, every week. So, like, the idea, like, I was talking with one of my buddies and he works 16, 18 hours a week. And he does good. You know, he makes a million a year. Million five. And wouldn't pay for our life. But I'm like, I'm saying, like, it's like a. It's like, it's interesting because, like, there's, there's this. I also have this feeling too, with our kids. I'm like, you know, Bailey's going into sophomore year. We're sending her back to public school. She starts like two weeks at Dana Hills.

I'll tell you why you're gonna have to free up. Because I look at Bailey and her being 15 and I'm like, I don't think I will survive for teenage girls.

Yeah, there's gonna have to be a little more dad time.

I'm like, I need help.

I need more dad time. I need to be more. I need to be more around.

I don't want to look 75 when I'm 50.

Well, I just, I really do think that's the case. So if I were to say there's a massive breakthrough coming for our relationship, it's going to be me co parenting. Yeah, it's not that we don't co parent now. I mean, we have lots of help and you do an amazing job and I cover my part and you do your part and I think we do a great job of volleyballing. I just think it'd be wild to be in a place where I wake up and I told my teams this. I said, one of my commitments in 2023 is I wanna wake up. I don't want no fucking commitments. I don't wanna wake up to another, like right now, between. Right now at the time. We're doing this podcast through till roughly Warrior Con 4, the end of October, nearly every single week, five to six days a week is already scheduled and booked out. So I'm like, in the next, starting this Thursday, we will be in New York, New Jersey, Bear Lake, Utah, Miami, Florida, Leadville, Colorado, Dana Point, California, all within 14 days. A lot of places.

And then we're going somewhere else, aren't we?

And then we're leaving to go to a place for our anniversary, like five days later. And then I come back from that anniversary trip and I go straight into my plant medicine.

I have journey. I've had a really good summer, but I don't have the business commitments that you do.

Like, even from my, even from my.

Last virtual event, I was like, hey. I was like, guys, am I still involved? They're like, do you want to be involved? I was like, yeah. And I was like, okay, it's not.

An option for me right now. Like, I'm the guy.

You are the guy.

Yeah. It's different though. You know what's been interesting is I have guys who run successful seven figure business and brands that are collapsing into warrior now to assist and take over large components of what the brand is, which is really exciting. Like, this is what God's like, you know, let go and allow real power players to show up. And it's been happening and it's been very exciting to watch happen. So again, the more I'm talking about this, the more that I'm realizing that you and I being able to have every morning together for a little bit. Me being able to get the kids off to school with you, me spending time with the babies in the morning, you and I sitting down next to each other, holding one another's hands and drinking pre workout while gazing out over the horizon went.

Let me tell you how my day went. You want to hear how my day went today? It's wonderful. Do you want to hear about it?

Yeah.

Are you wearing a bra? Don't stop. He's looking.

I'm just asking.

I don't remember. I am wearing a bra.

Okay, well, I'm just feeling to see.

Okay, you do so. Yeah, no, now you're right.

I mean, the T shirt's super hot. So literally, like, listen, there's nothing hotter than a gray tank with no bra that kind of shows your belly. That gives you the illusion that you might be able to raise your hands up and your tits would hang out. And I'd be like, yes.

Let me tell you how my day went. You tell me if this sounds like you want to be involved in my day.

I'd like to get Involved.

I don't like to get up at 4am I usually wake up about 6:30, but then I don't actually get moving till 7. And then I like to drink my pre workout and slowly sip on it. Then I usually go to some kind of class. I was supposed to go to a yoga class today, but it got canceled. So I went and worked out in our home gym. Then I came and then I did a business meeting meeting. Then I came and did a business podcast. Then I took Isla to the beach for three hours. Then I came back and held Charlie for an hour and did tummy time. Then I came to the chiropractor. Then I came here and it's like I still had a little bit of work, but I still had me time and I still had kid time.

That's awesome.

You know what I mean? Like, and every, it's funny because every.

I don't have that.

Every day I try to pick one kid because I feel like, I feel like, like I'm always, I mean sometimes I'm like multi juggling all kids. But now, because I have helped during the day, one thing that was really hard for me as a mom to let go is like if you have a nanny there, they can just help assist. Like how when you and I are juggling together. Right. I don't need to physically. I mean sometimes I physically leave and have appointments and things like that. But I like being able to be like, hey, I'm gonna jump in the shower, hold this baby. Okay? I don't want to go change the laundry. You go change the laundry. I'm gonna play with the kids. You know what I mean? And I like. And not only that, it's like I like being able to pick like one kid every week where I'm like, I haven't hung out with Bailey in a little bit. Bailey can. Let's go to lunch. Okay. Remy, let's go to the beach. You know what I mean? I don't ask all the kids to go with me. It's like special one on one time. So like, like I said, like I, I want a challenge, I want more and I want to create something with you. Maybe. I just right now, like I'm in a super content space. So I just keep getting this message. It's like, enjoy this, enjoy this season.

Yep.

And we're going to, we're going to. Something will happen, you know, towards the end of this year where it's like, okay, we've stabilized. That was a beautiful season because I felt like last summer I Didn't get a summer. Like, I literally got the best shape of my life and then found out I was pregnant. And then I get severely, like, depressed and hormonal when I'm pregnant. Last summer, and I just was, like, got our first year in this amazing, beautiful house. I just worked my ass off to get my body here, and I just found out I'm pregnant. So this summer, I've really settled into, like. Like, enjoy this season. And sometimes that looks like too many margaritas at Hotel Laguna. And then I had.

I literally. So I drink, like, once every, like, six, seven, eight days now. And I was only two drinks in, and I was already done. I. I was like, I can't take that shot. You're like, take the shot.

You know what? I was two drinks in. But I think my tolerance is higher than yours. And I was way higher than me.

Stop drinking.

And I was like, let's just do a shot to go. And then you were like, I can't drink that. And so I took mine, and then I took yours, and then I paid for it the next day.

We had some great sex that night.

Yeah, that's what happens.

But it, like, legit. It was like. I mean, it kind of had all three variables. Tell me. Touch me. Fuck me. Do you know the fun part about that is you left the door wide open. Oh, God. To our bedroom. Bedroom. And my. Our daughter and her best friend were there. Our other daughter was there with the dog. Everyone was on the same floor. You were responsible. You went to go get chips.

Had to feed the tequila.

You're like, hold on. We interrupt this sexual moment for chips. We had strawberries and chocolate and whipped cream. That was fun.

That was a wild man.

So we've never done that when young.

I actually gotta.

You gotta be done.

I gotta be done.

You got somewhere you gotta go?

I gotta go.

You know that I really enjoy this podcast with you.

You do?

Because even if nobody ever listens to Dating Keith.

Keith.

And oh, my God. Do you know that Keith said this today when he gave me this Rolex?

He did.

He gave me this Rolex. And you know what he said?

I love you more than your wife.

No, he. And Jess was there. She was super happy to give it to me for him. Here's what he said. He said, you know, this is a gift for you from me for all the value you've added to helping launch Mary Game. Like, I could never be where I am without you and your influence in my life. And, like, giving me the courage and intensity to rise and Jesse was saying the same thing. So my best friend, he said, but what I also like, too, is the fact that you have a best friend that your wife feels jealous about. Keith, he said that, but he really likes you.

I really like Keith. At first I was like, who is this guy?

He's in my life forever. He's gonna be like, that's a commitment. He will be there forever. We will both. One of us will look down on the other who's dead and be like, that's a bond.

Fucker you guys are.

Look at you. Dead like this.

Good for you.

Well, we talked about marijuana today on this podcast. I. Somebody like it. Marijuana?

Yeah, I. I tried. I tried an edible one time and I thought the couch was eating me. So that's a no.

He likes that, though.

Solid no for me.

He likes that couch eating feeling.

I. I think I've shared this before, but it was. The first time I took, like, a full edible was on Easter.

Hello. Praise Jesus.

Because that seemed like a good idea. I was like, I don't want a day drink. I'll just take this edible. I took half, and then I'm like, that's not going to do anything. So I took the other half against the consultant, like 5 milligrams.

Was it Keith that gave it to you?

No, it was Ani. And she's like, just take a fourth.

And you don't feel anything.

Take a half. So I was like, fuck it, I'll take the whole.

She's an undergrad all of a sudden.

I'm like, the birds are chirping. This is the most beautiful Easter I've ever seen.

And then.

And then I was like, I'm starving. And then I was like, what a beautiful peanut butter and jelly sandwich. And then I was like, the couch is eating me. And then I was like, I'll take a nap. It'll go away. And I took a nap. And then I woke up.

I'm like, it was worse.

I can't get out of this. Why do people like this feeling? It was awful.

You leaned over to me and you, like, told me.

I felt guil.

I was like, I gotta, like, I gotta be honest.

I gotta be honest.

So high right now.

So high right now. But it was not fun.

She's like, what did you. When did you smoke weed? She's like, I didn't. I ate it.

And then I think I ate, like, I ate like, a whole bull casserole. Breakfast casserole. And then finally I sobered up. I was like, now I can see why. People eat when they are high because you. You're panicked and your body's like, please feed me and get rid of this.

Something happens in the body when with marijuana for me too, where I just literally want the to devour like 15 Dove bars. I just can't help it. I don't feel that way with other plant medicine. But here we are. Show's over. This has been amazing. I love you. You're great. You can go home, take that bra off and just keep wearing that gray shirt if you'd like to.

Oh, my gosh. Are you coming home?

Of course I'm coming home.

Did you drive your motorcycle, Batman?

I did. Can you put my backpack into your car and drive it for me? Because I gotta stop and get gas. I don't like to form a backpack, but I have it. All right, that's it. That's all we got for you. A couple little announcements here as we wrap up. Since my wife took her headphones off, she can't hear me right now, but she can. Warrior comp four coming up here. October 26th to 29th. This is a men's and women's conference available for women. Yeah, women can come to this. General admission tickets virtually. We've got Run of War A studios, massive virtual, $30 million virtual hybrid studio. We'll have 200 guys in session in person. Those are 10,000 tickets. At the time of the recording of this podcast, we already have 100 plus of those tickets already secured at 10,000 a ticket, 200 available. Those should be gone by the end of August. Then we'll open up VIP Virtual, which will bring 500 individuals virtually into a different experience with us. And then unlimited number thousands and thousands of tickets will be available for $250 in general admission. So anywhere around the world if you'd like to participate. As you can see, I'm finishing this podcast. My wife has literally abandoned me. She's abandoned me. There's no abandonment issues here. I check my wife out at DKW Styling. Also, you can check out our other podcast, Married Game, that I do with Kitiacke every single week. Look that up in itunes. Fun perspective. He and I. Totally different angle on this topic of marriage. Thank you so much for being here. This is Gary J. White, your host. And my co host has bailed already and now she's coming back for her rendition. There she is. Say something. You went to go get fucking chips. I knew it. All right, we're out of here. Pow. Wow.