The Power of the V | Date Your Wife | Ep 024

Well, hello, my friends. This is your boy, Garrett J. White with a cracking voice. Going through puberty, obviously. No. Just coming out of the wake of ten days of events. I am your host here at the date your wife podcast, and I am here with my beautiful wife, who's waving in my background, doing a little video by.

Hola. Como estas?

Hola. Como estas?

Let's do this.

You ready to do this? You're taking your jacket off. I like that. Keep taking your jacket off. You're doing this on purpose. You're doing this on purpose. This taking the jacket off thing.

Yeah.

Do you do this because you knew today's topic was sex?

Taking it off for some sex.

Taking it all off for some sex. What are your thoughts about keeping your clothes on for sex?

Well, it depends. Is it qqp? Is it quickie night? Quickie.

Quickie. Porn star night.

Is it quickie night or porn night?

It's porn night.

Well, obviously, it all comes off.

All the clothes must come off.

It all comes off. Do you ever keep your shoes. Segue to what? Our show is about sex, which.

Our show is about sex. Today we're gonna talk about sexual. Now you're gonna put your jacket back on the air. All right, well, there we go.

I wasn't trying to be sexy.

The entire sexy show has now ended. It's now over.

I'm just a big tease.

Just a big tease. All right, listen. If your first time here with us here on the date you I podcast, we'd like to welcome you here on this show. This is a show produced and sponsored.

By wake up Warrior and DKW Styling.

Stop throwing in your sponsorship. You can't throw that in right away.

Yes, I can.

No, you can't. I am.

I am now a sponsorship. Yes, I am. You even told me. I looked at my bank account. I'm a sponsor, you asshole.

All right, so you're the spons. But listen, I'm the primary sponsor.

I'm the secondary sponsor.

You are the secondary sponsor.

I'm the primary sponsor.

When it comes to the topic of sex, you are definitely the primary sponsor.

I am the sponsor of the.

You've become a much better sponsor on this topic over the past six weeks.

It was his birthday last week.

We're gonna discuss this.

I tell you, ladies, it's four times a year.

Four times a year. She's talking. She's talking about blowjobs. We'll talk about those here in a little bit. All right, listen, here's the deal. This podcast itself is brought about by my wife and I as an effort to give a message to the marketplace to married individuals, particularly those in a power play situation with a man and woman who both run companies together who are trying to figure out how to live the worries. Way to having it all for men out there, gentlemen. Check it out. @warriorbook.com we got a guide for you. I'm gonna promote that shamelessly throughout today's show.

And also, if you're a lady and you like clothes and you like clothes.

Or hair or anything else in between, you go ahead and head on over to dkwstyling.com what will they find there?

At dkwstyling.com you'll find amazing hair.

Amazing hair. You will find life tips.

You will find life tips, hair and clothes. That's how deep I go. Let's not go there.

I know where you're going.

Stop now.

All right, so here's the deal. Every single week, we have a different topic. All this is driven by the warriors way to having it all. But particularly we do this show not because we are licensed therapists, not because we have gone to school about marriage and counseling.

We've gone to medical school.

We have gone to the school called School of Life. The School of Life we've gone to. That's what qualifies us to be here. I am a kickball teacher, Arguably the number one highest paid PE teacher in the entire world.

You never actually did that, though.

No, I did do that.

No, you didn't.

No, I did do that.

You never actually did it.

I actually am.

You got your degree in it, but you didn't actually do it.

Teacher. Stop discounting my past.

Just let go of that. No, you were never. I know it's like a relatability factor for you, but you are always destined to be more than a PE Teacher.

I'm not saying.

Shut up. You never made it past the degree. Like, stop using. Stop saying you were a PE Teacher.

Too much, too much, too far, too far, too far. Listen, PE teachers, they need sex, too. All right, so we're gonna talk about sex tonight. I've got a few people here on the live stream inside of our brother John. What's up, Jeremy? What's up, Randy? What's up, Mark? What's up, Jason?

What's up, Alex?

What's up, Jack?

What's up? When it comes out on Tuesdays, John.

You guys get to listen a few more minutes and then. Oh, you want me to end it right now?

Yes. Tell them.

Give them a hint about what we're Going to talk about tonight. We're talking about blowjobs.

We're talking about.

No, nope, we're not talking about blowjobs.

We're just about sex. One of our regular.

One of our regular shows.

But you'll have to see it on Tuesday.

Have to see it on Tuesday. So for my livestream audience. Bye. Bye. And go and check this out on Tuesday. All right, listen, so we're getting into the topic tonight. You ready?

I'm ready.

So we change the show up every single week, and one of the things we put on the show is the topic of sex. That's our first week of our first show. That's our first topic. Then we move from sex to money, and then we move from money to parenting, and then we from parenting to communication. So it happens to be that we finished communication last week. So we're back on the topic of sexuality. All right, you ready to take an angle on this?

Sure.

You sure?

I'm always ready.

Positive?

Yeah.

Okay, cool. So I have noticed a tendency in you the past couple months.

You're not even going to be able to keep it straight.

Not even going to be able to keep it straight. It's definitely going off the cliff today. But here's the thing. I have noticed a shift in you the past few months.

It's nice.

It is very nice. Let me ask you this. What causes a woman in marriage who's been married for a while to begin to experience what I'm simply going to call the shift?

The shift is when you realize you can get all your little heart and desires and dreams by realizing that men are actually pretty simple.

Okay, explain more about the simple life inside of the ship.

Women are so stubborn that they realize they're really holding back in a lot of things in life. Sex is, like, such a big tool. I have two men that work for me that are not straight. They're gay. And we always joke around, and they're like, the V is an important power. Or what do they say? The V is very powerful. And I'm like, it is. And it's like, when they say V.

Are they referring to the vagina?

Exactly.

Okay.

Because I think if women own that space, powerful that you. Not to say that we, like, use it. But in a way.

No, you do use it.

We do.

Okay. So why do you think it's.

Every woman uses it.

Every woman uses it.

Every fucking woman uses it. Like. Like, I don't care who you are.

Yes, I agree.

Like, it's not. They. You think Donald Trump's wife didn't use it.

No.

She knew exactly what she was doing.

She sure used it. She's like 20 years old.

She should probably continue to use it.

She is.

I don't know if she is.

I don't know. Hopefully she is using it.

Hopefully.

So here's the thing. Why do you think women have a hard time with this idea of just accepting that having a vagina gives you power?

Because it's like, you feel like it's like, beneath you, maybe.

Really?

Have you had this, like, you feel like there's like this story of like, oh, I will not be treated like that. I am not going to be used. I am not a dah, dah, dah, dah. And like, it's not that I'm like, hey, if I have sex, then I'll get this. But it's like, you come to this appreciation where you're like, hey, it's not that big of a deal and everybody's happier.

Like, do you actually experience. Like. Cause this is the thing. Like, I look at this. This hasn't been a problem around. Like, I have family members who've gotten divorced over the fact their husbands look a porn, but there wasn't sex happening. And I hear this constantly happening over and over again. Did you have something you want to add on that?

Well, I was just thinking, like, because I know couples where the relationship is, like, the woman is, like, after their guy and the guy is more standoffish. Why does that happen?

These men make no sense to me. They should be buried in a box.

And thrown into a deal with themselves. So they don't, like, why does that happen?

I think. I think there's a couple things.

Number one, do you think they don't care? Maybe they don't care.

There are some guys, I believe, that do not actually care. Their sex drive is very low. Their testosterone levels are very low. It doesn't mean they're not a man. But literally, they chemically are low. And so their sex drive is down. So they don't have any. They don't have a desire for it. The other thing you have too, is you have guys that get into a. Guys I think get into a place, particularly guys who are overweight, tend to get into a place where they lack a lot of confidence. Just like a woman.

That's what I was going to go to.

They don't want to be naked.

Want to specifically say overweight, but, like.

Well, there's overweight guys and they feel.

Like men that are not confident. And do you think they just pour themselves into Work or.

I know that for sure they do. And that's why it's like the problem inside of Waco Warrior. Like, not in Wake a Boy, but inside of the men. A lot of the men that we've gotten to have conversations with tens of thousands of men over the last six years. The one thing I can tell you inside of it is it is more than a few who their body consciousness actually causes them to operate from a place of no certainty. Now I'll give you another thing that guy sent up. Okay, go.

Nevermind. I'm not gonna say it.

You could say it. Go for it.

I'm just like, trying to envision, like a big dude just like taking me in the bedroom.

And what are you feeling?

It's all about the energy, but I think.

You think the energy. You think a big guy could take you in a bedroom?

If I was a big guy, I could see it being awkward for the guy, let's put it that way.

But if his energy was on point, do you think he still could do it?

Yeah, totally.

And it wouldn't even matter, really.

No.

Yeah. So that's the thing, is that guys will get on themselves.

Cause that's what's funny is like, here's what's funny about women. Women, even if you're a big. We know if we have like boobs and a butt, you know, like, even if you're a big girl, like, you know, like at some point, that's kind of sexy. Even if you're a big girl.

Well, I think it's. What we're getting to is an energy thing, right?

Yeah, it's totally an energy thing.

So there's guys who are super fit, shredded, but have shitty energy. And I was a guy who's super fit. And honestly, no, I had like a lot of weird energy.

Where does that take you?

I had a lot of weird energy.

Sometimes I have to take you.

I like it when you take me.

I know.

You know why, though? I think because you actually are more open to taking me than me taking you. What I say that is that, like, you're not open to be taken as much as you're showing you want to take.

I think this is.

If I grab your hair, it's very different than when you grab my hair.

I think.

All right, what do you got from that?

Well, like, it's interesting. If we're going there, we are going there.

Let's go.

Sometimes. Sometimes I think girls want to be taken. But you, if you're gonna, like, just go at it, you have to because there's times you do, but your energy is like, I'm going for it. And I'm like, wow, he's not backing down. Which is like kind of hot. But then if you're like, can I take her? Can I not? It comes across like, hey, babe, how are you? And it's like, it's weird. It's not just like, take you, it's because in taking somebody, I believe that there's this like sense of like, I don't really need you, but I might take you tonight. And if you come across kind of like desperate, like, hey, maybe tonight will happen and you're just like, please, please let it happen, then that energy is weird. But if you kind of go in with the energy of like, you might, you might get it tonight. But really you're thinking, like, I'm totally going to take you tonight. Then. Then you're like, oh my God. Like. And I feel like that's the energy maybe I put out with you sometimes for sure is because I'm kind of like, you're going to get it tonight. And I literally can just like look at you and do the nod and do the wink and smile and you're like, oh man, I'm so excited for tonight.

So it's like the energy, literally it's happening right now.

I know the V is powerful, ladies.

Here's the thing I'm talking about though, maybe you can help us out with this. So guys, when you're dating or when you're first together, women tend to reject less, right? There's less rejection. But as time goes on, you've been married for six years, seven years, eight years, nine years, 10 years, there tends to be this. There are these patterns that get created pretty fucked up, in which a guy starts to feel rejected or maybe the woman feels rejected. But inside of this there's a sense of being rejected. And so there's not as much confidence coming back into the bedroom and the conversation because they've got this wake of rejection.

Don't you have to have experience in order to gain confidence?

Because experience in sex.

Yes, because this is where I would say it gets kind of fucked up. If you're in a Christian based culture or we were raised lds, Mormon, whatever you're gonna say, it's like you don't fool around a lot before you get married. So then you married and you're expected to know it all. And we all know after being married for a while, like it takes reps, it takes experience.

Yes.

And so you get in this pattern of, like, both feeling awkward, and then the wife is, like, kind of shutting you down, and so the guy feels, like, less confident. And it's like you. You literally have to both kind of surrender to, like, holy shit, let's, like, redo this different together.

Do you know what I think happens? I'm going to be sure with you. You know what I think happens in Christian, like, very, very. You would see the same thing in Muslim or the same thing in Jewish cultures. I have Muslim clients and I have Jewish clients and friends.

But they all want. They all want to, like, let free.

No, but here's the problem. You know what? You know what I think the problem is? I'm understanding this right now. I think the problem is this guys have porn, right? So what happens? Like, imagine this. You can only create from, like, what you have envisioned, and you can only envision based upon what you've been stimulated by.

Isn't it always like a giant show?

Well, think about this. Like, if you're a woman and women don't tend to go to porn. I'm not saying they don't go to porn, but I'm saying most women don't tend to go to porn. Women do go to porn, but most women don't. That's not the natural tendency. Like, a guy would be. So if a guy's in a religion where Jewish, Muslim, Christian, very Orthodox, okay? And it's been the same experience across the board.

It's like the forbidden fruit, right? And so that's where they are not.

Getting in the bedroom. So the guys go to porn, right? And they're being stimulated with all this content and these ideas, but they're also not getting. They're not getting laid a lot inside the bedroom. So then they're going to porn, but then they're getting all these ideas, but the woman is not going to porn, so she's not being given the same idea. So this guy's, like, got this rising desire inside of him that's not being satisfied. Plus, he's stimulating with all this new creative art in his mind, which is all these naked bodies having sex in different positions. Cowgirl, reverse cowgirl. Like, whatever the games are happening inside of it. Like, you wouldn't know about that. Like, I didn't. I mean, my first marriage, when I was married to Parker's mom, I didn't even know what a clitoris was. No. Did you know what reverse cowgirl was?

I mean, I could. I got some ideas.

Yeah, but did you really know what that was? Because you weren't.

I Feel like I'm a creative person.

And I feel like you become more creative over the last couple years.

Listen, here's what I've realized, too. If we're talking about sex, I gotta be honest. I don't know if I wanna go there on this show.

Here it comes. Just do it.

So just do it. I just like it real traditional, like, slow, like.

Okay, tell us more.

I don't feel like I'm gonna tell you all more.

All right, so.

But no, no, no.

You like it slow and predictable.

I also. You know what else I found that I like is I like bringing out that inner porn star. And oftentimes, even when I don't completely finish, I'll just say it. I have fun in the moment of, like, going into that role. And then. And that's kind of like. I'm like, oh, that was fun. But if I'm being real, like, really good sex, to me, is pretty, like, traditional.

Pretty vanilla.

I'm pretty. I'm pretty vanilla. But, you know, you should respect vanilla.

Because I do respect vanilla.

Vanilla is cool. Because I'm always. I'm always good with. You gotta respect vanilla.

I respect vanilla.

Like, classic.

Like, I respect the vagina and vanilla.

I just, you know, I like. I like it old school.

Okay, So I have. I have noticed that there is a tendency for you to be. Ever since you introduced the qqp, you've been more deliberate about the qqp.

Well, yeah.

Cause, like, you've been more deliberate about it. Like, I've noticed a more deliberate attitude around the qqp.

I just feel like when it's a Tuesday night and you can still hear the kids in the other bedroom and.

Kind of hard to be porn star.

And you're kind of, like, filling me up, and I'm like, I can't bring her out right now. I just can't. I just can't.

Kid. Background noise is not bringing out the porn show.

But at the same time, I realize, like, I don't think, like, men should be really, like, shut down. Like, there's times I fall asleep. Cause I'm like, I'm fucking tired. Don't touch me. And it is what it is. And I think you respect that in me. Like, you finally have gotten to this place where you're like, she's tired. I'm like, I will, but I'm so tired. And so there's times where, like, you'll be like, just, I'm gonna let her sleep. And there's times where I'm like, all right, put in the wifey duties, the kids are screaming, but it's cool. We gotta do that. And that's like, the quickie nights. And it's not to say that I don't enjoy it, but I do enjoy it, because the next day, it brings more peace in our relationship. And so I'm like, it's cool. It's not that big of a deal.

So how did you, like, literally talk about this? How did you make this shift in your own mind? Because you've become very conscious about this the last, like, couple years, I think.

You know what?

You become way more conscious about it.

I'm just gonna address this in this show is I think there's the wifey sex guilt.

Okay, give it to us. What is this? I don't understand this, because I'm not a wifey.

Okay. So women will know when they're like, oh, my God, it's been a few days. I didn't do my wifey duties. And we get to this place, like, we have mom guilt. We have so many women just naturally, like, know when things are not aligned, and when things are not aligned where you're not, like, putting in the time and effort into certain areas in our life, we get, like, this. The mommy guilt. And so then it comes into the wifey guilt. I talk about that in all parenting.

Shows where the only topic sex is the wifey guilt.

Yeah, but because you're like, oh, my God. And you start to feel, like, this wifey guilt, like, it's not a big deal. We could have just had, like, a. A quickie and. And life would be restored tomorrow, and everything's good. And so it. It becomes, like, this little bit of a wifey guilt. And there was a time where I was like, why should I feel guilty? Like, I'm not being fulfilled?

Blah, blah, blah, blah.

And, like, I had this whole story, but then when I got to this place where I'm like, it's just, like, just have a quickie, connect, whatever. It's not that big of a deal. And then, like, we carry on in this, like, happy place in our marriage. And so for me, that's fulfilling. Like, and so when I realized that when it's been a while and I fall asleep or whatever, I have to make a conscious effort to be like, okay, stay awake. Like, wait, put the kids to bed earlier. Like, make an effort. Because otherwise that. That guilt sets in of, like, oh, my God. But it's more of the guilt of, like, things are not gonna be as harmonious with us on its way.

I Think we've gotten to a point where we don't tend to. It's been a long time since we fought about the sex topic. Even when we've gone some rounds where.

It'S been, like, I've been really putting on some.

I'm gonna tell you, I don't know what's going on in the last two.

Months, but I think I. Like, I gave myself permission to, like, ask.

You've been on it, and it's been fun as fuck. I'm not gonna lie to you. Like, I don't know what's happened, but whatever's happened inside of you, I need that chip to continue to roll because it's been the.

Well, no, I can't spoil you too much, or you'll get entitled.

I. I didn't say it. Well, it's not happening every day.

I know, but it's been. It's been pretty consistent. Like, once a week, I like to save those for special.

You've been playing Gao. You've been playing out QQP like a champion, as if it was your daily core four. It's like, check that box. All right, so listen here. Here's the thing. I'm gonna. I'm gonna back up to the guys for a second. So one of the challenges, and I found for myself, too, is that you've got to get over the rejection story. This is hard. This is hard because many of you. I get you. I understand you, because I am you. Danielle was not always in the place that she's in right now, and I was not the person that I am now back then. So my mind wants to try to go back then and be me now, and that doesn't work. So I wasn't exactly showing up correctly back then, but I didn't know how to show up any other way then. I did, and neither did Danielle. But I spent a decade being rejected. Like, we've been together 15 years married.

And not a decade.

A decade?

No, a decade. No.

Yes. A decade of rejection. Which means you were not. You were absolutely. A decade. You were absolutely okay with saying no. And you were also very much, like, standoffish. Like, don't touch me. Don't touch me. Don't touch me. Don't touch me. Like, are you acknowledging this? Just acknowledge this.

I'm still not super, like, touchy, but.

You'Re more touchy now, and you're open to it without the rejection. I think you become conscious about rejection. Causes you chaos.

Yes.

If you reject, it's wasted. Worse for you. Like, and I'm talking about just, like, rejecting.

You have really shown up as, like, a man.

Yes, I have. You're welcome.

Oh, God.

All right, so. But come back.

No, but. No, but there's also this attractive attraction factor. Like, there were so many years where.

I was wearing shitty sweats and I wasn't making any money.

No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't even about money. It was like, pity. Poor me. Like, you owe me this. And I was like, fuck you. I don't owe you anything. And so it was this place of, like, because we're married, I have to put out every night. No. Like, my needs are not being met. Like, you don't go to go hang out with your guys or work or whatever and then just come back and you don't get sex. That's not how it works. And so I was like, no.

Do you think if I had been texting you daily or, like, taking you.

On date nights every week, maybe date nights.

And had been a little more into you and what you were up to, that it would have been different when we first got married?

Probably. But I think because of the culture that we were raised in, it's like, at a young age, it's so funny. And I'm sure this happens in other cultures, but. But, like, it's like you get married and all sudden you put on this, like, serious hat and you're like, I gotta have life figured out. I gotta have my. All my ducks aligned, and I gotta. And then all of a sudden, you get to this place, you're like, well, shit, that didn't work. And then it's this place where you're like, why did I. Why did I care so much about all these little things? But yet all those little things created who you are now.

Yeah.

So it's a trade off. It's a trade off.

Listen, I would. I would deal with the first 10 years.

It's like we have success in life and business because of how much hustle we put it in the first, like, 10 years. And now we're at a sweet spot where we can kind of enjoy. So not to say that that didn't. That didn't benefit us in some ways. You know what I mean? Because I think it forced us to, like, grow up really quick together.

Well, you know what it did for.

Me, we're just in a new phase of our relationship.

You know, what it did for me is, like, I focused on work. Like, the more I would feel rejected, the more I would work.

I'm sure that this is how Most.

Guys work, so it probably actually helped.

Out the production side. But what's interesting, it's so funny because, I mean, I'm pretty young. I'm 35. Garrett's 42.

We've been married 15 years. Yeah.

And people are like, oh, my God. I'm like, yeah, I met him at 18, got married at 20. So there you go. And it's just interesting because most people don't do that. They get married when they're, like, 28, 29, 30. And then. So I always have felt like I'm a decade ahead of people, but it's because of the culture in which we were raised in. But then there's times where I'm like, enjoy being 35. Like, just let loose, have fun, hang out. You know what I mean? Which is probably what people go through when they're, like, 45. And so I'm just, like, experiencing life a little bit sooner.

I think a lot of what you and I are actually going through is. We're going through.

But most people don't make it out of the twenties.

Go through in their twenties. We were already married.

Right. But then most people make it out of that phase, so they go. They. They go through this scary, ugly phase, and then they get married at, like, 40, 50, and then they go into, like, play mode, and it starts all over again. You know what I mean?

Yeah.

So I just. I've been at this place where I'm like, I think we kind of committed to each other. And now I'm, like, just having fun with you, like, knowing that we're committed. And now I'm like, oh, this is fun. You know?

It is. It is really fun. It feels. It's interesting. Like, I'm gonna come back to the topic I was talking about with guys, which is, like. So I went through, like, a decade. I know Danielle's finally acknowledging this decade of feeling rejected. I'm not saying it may be a decade of rejection. I was feeling rejected, and then I went through a couple years of trying to figure out, okay, maybe it's not the rejection, that I think maybe I'm fucking this up. In the last couple years, it's been this really, really powerful game where I've recognized that what I actually wanted from my wife was not a penis and vagina experience. That was. I mean, don't get me wrong. Like, that is what I want.

But I think at some level, it's unfulfilling.

Yeah. But I want. What I wanted was to feel wanted. Do you know what was so amazing about My birthday, Besides the fact that there was some amazing other stuff that went down, what was really amazing was I felt wanted.

I want you. Well, I did want you. I chose, like, so.

Garrett's amazing.

Garrett worked all week. He had a huge event in Huntington, California, and Huntington beach. And he kept saying, like, I'm like, hey, I want to come down and hang out with you on your birthday. Because he was working, and he's like, the event's not going to get over till, like, 8:39, like. And he kept saying, no, don't come down. Don't come down. Or he's like, oh, it'll be fun. And I knew he wanted to, but he felt guilty, like, asking me to come down. And I. And I was tired. I worked all day, too, and I was like, you know what? I went home, actually had a pedicure, like, hung out with the kids for, like, 20 minutes, and, like, felt like, no, I should go. And so I went down. I made the effort. And they were wrapping up the event, and he didn't know if I was going to show up or not. And he was on stage, and nobody even knew it was his birthday. And then his lead trainer, Sam, was like, oh, by the way, it's Garrett's birthday. And they were kind of singing him Happy birthday and whatnot.

350 guys singing Happy Birthday.

And I'm like, all right, I'm gonna go up. And so then I surprised him on stage, and I think that for you was like, oh, my God, like, she wants to be here. And then we went to dinner. We had fun. We hung out. I spent the night at his hotel, and it was fun. So I think I did want to be there. And it's interesting when you get to that place in your relationship and it comes over, just kind of, like, putting in the effort, and all of a sudden you're like, I actually want to be there. And our relationship has become more. And it's just a cool place to be in, and you can't let yourself drift for that long. And we let ourselves drift for so long because of the stories and just everything. And I think most people don't make it out of that. And we're. We. I think, because, too, we started young, we were like, nope. We kind of course corrected. And now we're in a pretty good spot.

I think there were. I think there were probably, like, no 50 different, you know, specific situations where it was like, it was. It was on. It was on the razor's edge, you know, over the years of whether or not we were gonna make it was you.

I always felt like I was.

You felt like you were always all in.

Yeah, I did. I was the one that was on the razor's edge. I always felt like I was just waiting for you to come along and then you would, like, get to this place where, like, it's fucking over. And I always, every time, like, it was never really an option for me. I'm like, no, I'm committed. And I always knew that there was, like this chemistry and this spark with us in the beginning. And so when you would want to call, I think I was a good partner for you in the sense I was like, you fucking dickhead. Like, no, we're doing this.

Agreed.

But that's just my personality. I'm like, no, if I commit, I'm gonna make it work. And we did. But I think it took both of us to kind of get to the place in which we're at.

So I'm gonna wrap.

We gotta wrap this up.

I know, but I'm gonna wrap the idea for the guys.

Okay.

So I had all this rejection, like, going on in my own head, right? And this led me to feel very, very, very weak in the bedroom. Just weak across the board. Like, it was weird. Not only did I not feel wanted, but then I didn't even know how to have confidence anymore to approach the situation. So this led me to interesting patterns of masturbation. It led me to porn, it led me to drinking, it led me to a whole lot of things. Just trying to figure out, how can I survive in this place? Because I was totally attracted to my wife, loved the shit out of her. But at the same time, when it came to sex as a topic, I just had 10 years of beat down training. I did not know how to shift. So for the guys out there that are listening to this and you're listening to the show and you get exactly what I'm talking about. If you were raised in a pretty orthodox religion and you were not married to a woman who was practiced before marriage and you were not practiced, I think on one side there's a huge advantage to having sex before you get married. And I know that's going to completely burn the ears of many of you who may be listening. You're like, oh, my God, that's completely against it. I was like, but people don't measure the consequence of people who are not sexually aware at all and they're not being trained. Like, when we were raised, we were not trained. We were not taught on this. You know what My dad's sex talk was before I got married. He was like, just make sure you have a cloth handy. It's kind of messy. That was my whole fucking sex talk. I'm like, that's like what I was taught. I mean, I didn't even know where clitoris was. These were things. As a kid, we had no idea, being raised in the cultures we were in, what those are. At first I thought it was just me being raised Mormon. Then I realized it was all my friends were raised in some kind of orthodox Christian faith. It was all my Jewish friends.

But there's a lot of good that comes out of that too.

There was a lot of good out of it. There's a lot of good. So I don't know where the line is.

Yeah, right. Where's the line? Because I'm like, you could be loosey goosey, and who knows what would happen? I believe, like, at a young age, if you're like 17, 18, 19, even early 20s, like, having sex like crazy, doing drugs, who knows where that would happen?

I am confident that I had some intervention.

I think you make more mature choices in your 30s, if you decide to be sexually active than you would in your 20s. You know what I mean? 100%. And so that's where the fine line is, or the fine point is. It's like, yeah, we were raised this way. Is it a blessing? Is it a curse? And I'm not really saying it's at.

This one, I don't know if it was a blessing or a curse. I'm just saying that either path you went on was gonna create problems. So if you were promiscuous and you were hanging out, like, if you had had six different partners, seven partners, 10 partners, like, a lot of the friends you have and even more. And guys I know who have 1015's like the norm, like 10, 15, 20 different sexual partners before they got married. Like, you have experience with all of this stuff, but, like, when you don't, you only can come from the content data you have. So, anyways, get to my point here, and I'm gonna wrap this show up. Here's the thing. For the guys, no matter how rejected you felt, you have the power to change that story. Like, you just do. You have the power to change the story. And changing the story is on you. No one else can change that story for us. We had to go to therapy, right? And it was inside of therapy, sex therapy, that I was able to change that story. I was not able to change that story on my own. And my wife and I going to sex therapy and going to marriage therapy allowed us to be able to pull that off. Another tool I can tell you that helps is inside of us, this powerful tool known as a stack, which you can find@warriorbook.com inside of one of our 30 day challenges known as the King's Kit. Would love to invite you as a man to join us on that program and to be part of that experience. And for ladies, listen, if you've got a man that's listening to the show, your man's not listening to this show. I would encourage you to send him.

Over to that place if here's the only advice I could give to ladies. Like, if you're in that place where your guy is not really being the man, I guess you could say you kind of have to reevaluate. Like, well, how can you show up and be the woman? And sometimes even the most strong women need to, like, you have to kind of surrender to what's going to benefit you and your family and your relationship. And a lot of times you'll find, like, wow, that actually did serve me more than I thought. And so I think it's just important to, like, both of you have to kind of cross the line and get on the same page. And if one crosses the line, the other one will cross the line and vice versa. So it's important to just, like, commit is the first step and then just kind of see where it goes.

Well done. Well done.

Okay.

All right, well, we're gonna wrap up this show. We are actually on date night. We're heading to a movie right now. Dinner's done. Massage is done. We are good to go. Ladies and gentlemen, we will come back four weeks from now on this show here. On the sex topic. No, the sex topic.

I was like, we're.

And we'll talk about that. We'll talk about this again, and we'll tell you how tonight's experience was.

Your eyes look really blue with that shirt on.

They do. Don't they turn you on? All right, we're gonna wrap this show up. Gentlemen, ladies, thank you so much for being here. We hope you guys have a great week. Also, check this out again. Warriorbook.com and the 30 day kinks here. We'd love to have you as a man inside of that. And you can head over to DKWStyling.com, check out more about Danielle and what she's up to, or if you're a hairstylist listening to the show bigmoneystylist.com. thanks so much for being here, my friend. My name is Gary Day White and this is my wife, Danielle. And we are out.

Hi.