The Secret to Saving a Struggling Marriage

Hey, guys. Welcome to. I was gonna say another episode of the Real White House, but that's. That's next. Welcome to the date your wife podcast. Yeah, I'm the wife.

You're the wife.

I like that you're the guy I date.

This is the guy that you date?

Yeah.

We started the dating game as a real conversation. I can't believe I didn't think about even dating you when we were first married.

I think that we started this podcast because when our marriage was crappy, we literally were like, well, how do we save it? And we were like, we seemed happy when we were dating. Let's go back to, like, basic dating concepts as a married couple. And it was. It's crazy, but like, I feel like married couples still, like, when you talk to me, you're like, when's the last time you guys went on a date? Like, not Netflix, not like you took a couple kids. And honestly, a lot of married couples that have young kids, like, date night goes out the window, gone. Like, literally. They're like, well, we put the kids to bed and we watch Netflix. And you're like, well, that's not a date.

I was just talking to. I was talking to a partner of ours in the Czech Republic and he runs a training company and they have three little kids under the age of eight. And he's like, I was in your warrior method event and I listened to what you were talking about when you hired cleaners and nannies to cover for your wife. And so I went and did that last month. So for a month they've had a full time nanny helping with the kids. And he's like, and then he's been taking his wife on dates and. And instantly all of the chaos, sexually and emotionally in their relationship went from level 12 stress down to level 3 stress.

I think, though, too, it's hard for women because, I mean, I've always worked, but even when I wasn't working more in mom mode, there's a lot of purpose in, I do the laundry, I clean the house. Those are the mom roles and responsibilities. And I had to let that piece of me kind of die. Even. I was like, babe, it's not a big deal. I can do it. And you're like, you say it's not a big deal, but then after you come home from the salon or you're with the kids all day, then you're whining about doing the laundry. So I remember you. We hired someone to clean the house. In the beginning, it was like once a month. And you'd always be like, why are you. Why are you cleaning the house before the cleaners get here? And there was so much guilt. Like, that's just what you did. The cleaner just came in and dusted and polished. But, like, the mom's responsibility and part of the mom's purpose was, like, making sure the house was tidy.

Yeah.

And I still have a little bit of that in me, but now it's not out of. If I do it, it's because it's more. I manage teams to do it for me. But it was hard for me in the beginning when you were like, hey, I'm hiring somebody to do the laundry. I was like, can you do that?

Yeah.

I literally was like, I could get on board with the cleaner thing. But then when you're like, no, someone's gonna do the laundry too. And I was like, who was gonna do the laundry? You're like, why don't you ask our current cleaner if she can do the laundry? And I was like, you can do that.

Well, there was. As a. As a man, I was coming home, and I kept hearing you put the same things up, which was, I have to do the dishes, I've got to clean the house, I've got to do the laundry. And to me, as a man, none of that was valuable that you did it. I didn't care.

Well, you wanted to get laid more, so you were like, how do I alleviate more stress for my wife?

The dishes and the laundry and the cleaning of the house was clean. Cock blocking me.

But I wanted, like, almost, like, appreciation, where it's like, sometimes how you're like, I'm the provider, babe. Like, just tell me that's enough. And I think there was an earlier level of Danielle that was like, well, I'm the mom and the wife, and I'm cleaning the house, and I'm making you dinner. That should be enough. So I think that that role can get flipped. And, like, the minute you challenged my identity and you challenged my purpose and you expect. Expected. You were not expected. But you're like, if I get rid of this, then she'll want to connect with me more. And then it didn't happen right away for us, at least. It was like, great. But then you were like, wait, why am I still not getting laid more?

Yeah.

Right. And so it's interesting, though, too. Like, I think I always wanted more than just, like, the guy that could provide. Like, I'm an independent woman. Like, even in the beginning, like, I always. I always worked because I wanted to have my own, like, Freedom with, like, spending money. And I didn't want to have to, like, answer to somebody. And even though in the beginning you took care of us, like, I think I worked because I still wanted to, like, have a little bit of freedom for myself. Like, be like, not have to ask if I can go buy this shirt or whatever it was. But it was, it was. It's interesting though too, because, like, you were like, here, I'm going to alleviate this stress. But ultimately, we both just kind of wanted connection 100%.

So look at the rules have to change, right? I had to. People hear. People think you just submitted to that. You did not want to let go of cleaning, you did not want to let go of laundry, and you did not want to have a nanny. And I, as a man, was going, okay, I'm watching full time moms. I'm watching what? There's two versions of full time moms. I've seen. I've seen like full time super moms which burn out and blow up. They pour all their energy and love.

They pour their purpose into their kids. Their kids are.

And they burn out.

They don't do anything for themselves. They burn up. They're typically overweight. They don't wear makeup. It's a cultural thing.

And the story was, my job is to clean the house, do the dishes, do the laundry, care for the kids. And I was like, okay. So an exhausted, fatigued woman has no energy to really pour into her children. She is now a manager. So I was sitting with a couple and I was like, okay. So I was talking with a couple about this. Cause they were having a hard time with it. And I was coaching one of these guys one on one. And so I said, hey, invite your wife into the conversation. I'm a different voice. I don't sleep with her. I. I don't have a history with her. I'm just a man. Let me have a dialogue with both of you together. Ask her if she'd be open to it. She said, yes. So she came to the conversation. We were talking.

I said, listen, was it clean?

Yeah. And I said, where is your value proposition in cleaning the house? Like, what value do you feel you get from doing it? Because you're doing it for a reason.

Nobody likes cleaning the house.

I was not true. Some people do like cleaning.

That's.

There's times when I'm high, I want to clean the house.

No, but I'm just saying, I'm telling you right now, like, there's moments where it's a little bit therapeutic for like 30 minutes.

Yeah, that's about as long as I'll clean the house.

Yeah. Who wants to clean the house every day? If a woman says, I love cleaning houses, you're like, but do you?

Some people do because it's their only sense of purpose. And women, I believe, want to. I'm not going to speak for women. My perception is, is that it's a sense of being able to contribute. So all I asked was, I said, where is your higher value of contribution?

That's their job. Yeah.

Where's your higher value of contribution? Is it in telling, touching and fucking your husband, or is it in cleaning, folding, and being a Uber to your children? And then women will say, well. And as women will say, well, I spent a lot of time with my kids and driving them. And I said, and I like, let's talk about it. I said, great, then do that. I was like, do you think your husband actually gives a shit about you cleaning the house? And they were sitting right there.

Do you think some guys do those? Some guys I'm thinking of like my brother, he's kind of a cheap ass.

Your brother's an asshole.

Like, it. He asked his wife to clean the house.

Your brother's an.

In fact, if she was like, hey, can. Can I hire a cleaner? He'd make her feel guilty. Like, do you.

He's an asshole.

But there's a lot of guys, of.

Course we're not talking to them. Are not listening to this.

They might be.

Well, okay, they might be. And now we're going to convert them. Your brother's the same guy also that made his wife push his babies around in the winter time with a stroller.

So he could save.

Let me finish. Let me finish up.

Okay.

He. He let his wife push their children around for two months at the wintertime in order to save two or three thousand dollars to get a new suv. Meanwhile, had several million dollars in cash in the bank.

It's a control thing, though. It's a fucking asshole, but it's not even an asshole.

It's like, by the way, I like your brother.

I do too. I really like my brother. People think we're like twins, but we look similar.

Not in our mannerisms. In life.

Okay, in mannerisms, we assume we sound similar too. Yeah, but yeah, like he. Yeah, it's a control thing though too. It's like I control my wife, but that's essentially why their marriage didn't make it. Yeah, she played the victim. She played the victim like many times in our relationship. I could have played the Victim. But ultimately there's two people that create the story. So whether you're the villain or the victim, the victim still doesn't stay. There was a place in our marriage where I felt like I was probably the victim. And then I was like, I'm tired of this narrative. I don't want to be the victim anymore. I'm sure. Same with you. You probably felt the victim in this whole sex game. And it's neither of them. They both play a role. Neither is right or wrong. It's just kind of how it goes.

So if you play back the game, I'm play this from a guy's perspective. I'm gonna talk to entrepreneurs. So I'll meet guys and I'll tell them what we're doing. And they're like, the fuck? And I'm like, yeah, dude, like what we are doing? Yeah, just like our whole life, the way we do life. And they're like, how the. How the fuck? And I was like, well, let's play this from a business perspective because you'll get it. I was like, if you had a situation in your business where you needed more support, you needed a project manager, you needed an executive assistant, you needed an extra salesperson, you needed some more imax. As a businessman, you don't hesitate on this. You can see that there is a challenge. There's something in the way that's not as valuable. Your time is too valuable to be fucking around in this activity. So you bring someone else in who it is equal to their value. They get compensated to do a lesser valued action so that you can focus on higher valued opportunities. This is the entire process of scaling a business. Build, replace yourself and then elevate. Make less money because you're now compensating, but you get bigger opportunities to build something bigger. But these same guys do not look at their family and their marriage. Let me finish. For I tell you want to check? Okay, cool. Nod and let me finish this. So that's the second piece. And then I said, well, let's look at your family. I was like. And this was me. Like, I could see the value in business very clearly. But the minute I crossed the line into marriage and family, I operated from a different mindset. The same mindset that made me successful money. I was not applying to the success of my family. So what do you do in a family? Well, you have a high level partner, your wife, who is dealing with low level $10 an hour, $25 an hour activities. You're upset because you're not getting laid. You're upset because there's no space. You're upset because you're not getting time from your wife. You're upset because you're getting a fatigued woman at the end of the day who's fucking washing countertops. And then you're like, dude, I'm literally watching these dishes cockblock me right now. You're like, how the fuck do I handle this? You don't think about it. Then you go right back to business. You're like, where? I'm tired of doing this bullshit activity. I'm going to outsource this. I'm going to get a contractor. I'm going to hire this. I'm going to outsource this to the Philippines. But in the house, there's only a few activities you can't outsource.

Right?

Loving your children and having quality time with your kids.

Wait, you can? Although we have a team that I feel like I've told you, like, I kind of resisted the nannies and the homeschool teachers, but now I was like, I think as moms think we need to do it all, we're like, no, I can wash the dishes and watch the kids and color, and I got two arms and legs and like, we. But it's like, is this time quality? And I still multitask all the time with my kids. Like, don't get me wrong. But what I love about my nannies, I watch them because I work at home a lot, and I'm like, my kids kind of interact. I'm doing calls in the bedroom, doing calls wherever. What I love is that they're getting this love from nannies in a way that's different than the love that I would give them, then they're not replacing me. But because it's their higher job and they're getting paid, they're so present. And I will say, like, for a mom to not. I have present pockets. So do you. We swim with our kids. We play with our kids. But I watch the nannies be, like, very, very present for long periods of time. And our kids feel very loved. So in a way, you can outsource some of that. But it takes. For me, it was like, hey, Danielle, you're a great mom. And just because you hired help doesn't mean you're not a great mom. Like, even if you're not working full time and you want help all the time, whenever you have it, we're in a place in life where, like, it took me a long way to get here, and I still have moments where I'M like, I'm like, ah, I need to go squeeze my baby. But I love that I can like, shower and not worry about my toddler falling down the stairs. I love that I can. I'm like, hey, I have the space available. Cause I have full time help that I can pick up a sales call right now. And so. But it. But it took me a long time to kind of submit to that because I love my babies. And we were raised in a very traditional roles. Being raised Mormon, I felt like it was just like the mom stayed home and had babies and the guy went out and worked. And I always really enjoyed working. You. You always, you always work too. So we kind of had to like, take the rules and throw them out the door if they weren't working. And we did. And we're still.

It didn't happen overnight.

No. That's what I try to tell people. I'm like, the biggest problem. I was like coaching one of my hairstylists this morning and I was telling her, I'm like, we were just talking about something about like, her. Her marketing's messy and her social media is messy. And I go, I can tell you what the problem is. You're not consistent. So you don't even know what's working. I was like, it's. Nothing happens overnight. And your lack of consistency is affecting the results that you're not seeing. And literally I was like, why don't you try something and stay with it? And so for us in our marriage and in our relationship, it was like, not only did we have to say, hey, we're not gonna do these patterns, behaviors, and we're gonna do it differently, but we had to make the choice and then stay consistent with that choice. And that's why we've gotten to where we have is cause both of us, at some level, even though it was uncomfortable, we were like, well, the space in what we're doing things right now is not working right. So what do we have to lose? Let's try something different.

Yep. So we did, we shifted, we audibled. So you look at the basic activities that you could get into right out of the gate, and some of you are watching this or listening to this, and you're like, okay, we don't have the money to do this. And I will have you consider flipping the story, right? So you have the story of I don't have the money to do this. And then you have the opposite story, which is, I don't have. I don't have the money not to do this, right? It's always amazing. People will find this. I'll give you an example. There was a guy, we had a warrior. And he was overweight by about 200 pounds. And he was overweight, overweight, overweight. And he was always trying to lose weight. And he would never lose weight, and he'd never lose weight, and he'd never lose weight. And he would set these targets. I'm gonna lose weight. I'm gonna lose weight. I'm gonna lose weight. And then he wouldn't lose weight, and he'd come back to events, and he'd feel guilty and shameful, and we wouldn't make him feel guilty and shameful. We're like, dude, you keep saying you're not gonna be fat as fuck anymore. You keep coming back for a year and a half being fat as fuck, and you don't want to be fat. You hate being fat. You don't like it. It's affecting your certainty sexually. It's affecting your confidence. It's affecting everything you keep telling us you're going to change, change. So we don't see him for like six to nine months because he was part of a mastermind. And he comes back and the dudes dropped like 140 pounds in like nine months. I'm like, how the. He walks in, nobody recognized him. We're like, the fuck happened to you, bro? Holy shit, you look great. And he's just like, confident, radiant. So he gets up, he starts sharing with the group what happened. He went to the doctor, and the guy said he couldn't afford it. He couldn't afford a whole bunch of shit.

The doctor told him he's gonna die.

Told him he's gonna die, literally. Said, hey, based on your current. Current levels of your internal mechanism of your body, if you continue down this path, you'll be dead within a year. All of a sudden, he could afford gastric bypass surgery. Cause insurance wouldn't cover it. And he had to come up with 50k up front. And based on his kid's situation, et cetera, he kept telling himself, I don't have the money, I don't have the money. I don't have the money. The doctor said, you're gonna fucking die. He was in gastric bypass surgery. In four days. He found $50,000 to go have surgery. So when guys tell me, well, I can't afford a nanny, I can't afford date night, I can't afford this. I can't afford this. I'm like, you can afford exactly what you're fucking committed to. If you're not committed to it. You can't afford anything. That's why I have guys that listen to the worst way system and they're like, they have tons of money, tons of money. They won't do shit. Oftentimes. The greatest guys are the people who have what I consider to be nothing to lose. And they're like, I gotta fucking go. That's why the biggest case studies. Wake up, Warrior. And the biggest case studies I've ever worked with or are men who. From the street. And from the onset, people got, that guy's a loser. That guy's not gonna fucking pull it off. That's what they said about me too. Because those dudes have something to fucking lose. And sometimes here even listen the show. This is becoming the trigger point for couples to change. What would happen if we could have listened to a podcast like this every week back in the first parts of being married?

You know what's so crazy, though, is. And I have. I heard this, I think it was in one of your last events and recently with one of my students that my student was scared to have success, that she's gonna be one of those bitches. She wanted to be one of those bitches. And I go, let me get this straight. Remember, even our training, I'm like, you associate people that have money as they're all assholes. You don't even wonder how they got there. You just assume that they're all assholes. And even like your post you shared today of the guy that's coming at you, and you're like, why do you assume that I'm not a better person now? Like, you're judging it off of the money and the wealth, but you don't care how you got there. And you assume this person is an asshole. And I was like, I'll have you consider. And again, I was coaching one of my students today, and I said, here's what's so crazy is I remember, like, the first expensive handbag I went and bought, and I was like, I don't need this. I don't need this. I don't need this. And it wasn't necessarily about the money. And I finally went and bought it, and I literally was like, driving home, like, crying, and I realized it was like I let this piece of me die. And the more I discover, like, putting myself out there and the more I kind of like, tell myself, like, let these old stories die, I feel more like myself. I was comparing it to, like a. Like a butterfly and a cocoon. I'm like, I felt like I was playing small. And now that I'm, like, not doing that anymore, it's almost like this butterfly is emerging. And I feel like I'm more in my skin than I ever have been before. So people are scared of growth because they fear this person they're going to become. And I'd have you consider that the person you are is not really the person you are, as crazy as that sounds like you're playing small. You are the asshole. Please let the asshole out of the cocoon and become this butterfly is all I can really compare it to. And so it's just interesting. People don't like to see. They like to stay stuck in their stories. A fear of failure. Like your guy that's, like, overweight. He's like, oh, I can't. I got all these excuses till someone's like, you're going to die.

And then again, all this shows is proper leveraged motivation. Like. Like I swipe most. Most guys will not change or invest in their marriage until their wife files for divorce. Most guys will not change their body until the doctor says they're going to die. Most men will not improve their business until they're about to go bankrupt. We have a pattern as men, which is very ridiculous, which is we wait until shit is terminal and. And then we decide to do something. The problem is waiting until something's terminal. At that point, the chances of success are very low because most of the decisions you're making are being made out of scarcity. So then the challenge becomes, how do I create false scarcity, sabotage. How do I create for myself? The idea. Because I still operate from this place. So I wake up every morning, I'm like, I gotta fucking go. I gotta grind. I gotta go. I gotta go. I gotta go, gotta go. Even though I don't really have to go. I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. Even though I don't really have to go. I could not do shit today. I could just cancel all my meetings and not worry about it. But there's a piece of me that knows I have created the ability to get leverage on myself. And, boys, I'm gonna tell you this right now. You don't get leverage on yourself. You don't feel that's what the warrior tools were built for. That's why the words way system works. That's why so many of you sit on the outside. You go to these motivational masterminds. You go run on hot, fiery coals. You jump out of fucking airplanes. You go. Go participate in a military Paramilitary boot camp, which we ran them for, like, eight years, and guess what? Shit changes for about two months. And then it'll change because you have no internal shift in your operating system in who you see yourself to be and who you see your wife to be and what you see your family to be.

Well, it ends up like you're looking for a quick fix or a quick high. And that doesn't. Like, it might feel fun for a minute. It's like. It's like when people that could go to these, like, hype events, and I always say, I'm like, this doesn't matter. Like, you got riled up for, like, six months and you did nothing. Like, like, you have to choose to change. You have to do things differently. But again, it goes back to. People are like, well, I don't want to become this person that's not me. And you're like. But you don't even like the person you are today. And you want to become this bigger version, but yet you're scared to become this current version because of, like, what people around you perceive. You don't like who you are right now.

Yeah, well, this was a guy. So I got an email this morning. I've been bombarded from, like, day one of Running Warrior. I've had people tell me I'm a fucking idiot from day one, right? And. And I got an email this morning, and here's the thing. You need to know. If you DM me privately. Bullshit. And you email me bullshit privately, I'm gonna put it public. So this is why a lot of people stop talking shit about me publicly, because I'm just gonna take a shit and go public with it. So if you want to run your mouth to me, I'm happy to have you run it publicly. Might as well just make a public post about it and make it an open post, because I'm just gonna share with everybody anyway.

I'm dying, though, that people take the effort. They're like, I'm really gonna help this guy.

And no, no, I want you. I'm gonna share pieces.

What is the point of this? You have to share.

There's a subject of this email. You should be ashamed. Seriously.

But why would people feel like. Does he feel like he's helping you?

Well, here's what. Here's what he was. He was referencing.

I feel like he, like, why do people, like. I honestly think, like, people have.

Well, do you want me to share it?

I do. I really.

Okay, well, let me share it. Hold on. By the way, for those that want to talk shit to us about how we over talk each other. We're working on that.

I feel like we've been doing really good.

We're working on that. So I'm gonna play this. Hold up, hold up.

Is it an email? Is it a video?

So this was the video that he was referencing.

Okay.

And he's a nice guy, I guess. His name's Chip. Chip used to be a client of ours years and years ago.

He's not a nice guy. Anybody who sends an email like that needs to remove the stick out of his and find another purpose in life. So let's see.

I'm not gonna disagree with that. He is slamming his dick in a drawer.

Go yourself.

All right. You want me to show up? Yeah. You're so pumped. I like it. Yeah. Here was a video message me back and forth on Instagram yesterday and this morning. And I said, why have you never invested any programs here at Warrior? And he said, well, you know, back 10 years ago, I couldn't afford it. And 10 years later, he still can't afford it. Only he's divorced now, never sees his children and is alone. And I'm like, bro, you couldn't not afford to invest in Warrior 10 years ago. And I said, dude, how does it feel to be in a situation that 10 years ago you couldn't afford it? And 10 years later, your divorce was without your children and you still can't afford it? Are you kidding me? What the. And yet this is what most people do. See, at the same time, I was reading Rich dad Pornhub. People thought I was an idiot. All these broke who are still broke 22 years later, they messaged me on DMS and Insta. Hey, bro. Dudes that used to know me, hey, bro. And I'm like, hey, broke ass stick. Hey, fat as guy. I was like, how could you still be doing the same you were doing 20 years years ago? Man was messaging me back and forth. So this guy Chip, I couldn't even take enough. I was trying to do screenshots for my cell phone to show Everybody. There were 17 screenshots. Instagram only lets you put 10. I can't even share the whole email. This email was like literally a 2 to 3, at least hour debacle. He went through a line item of the history of what he's observed me do for 10 years.

That's so weird.

It was a little interesting. And he's going, he does have. He did bring up some valid points. My attorneys IP'd our wake up, Warrior word according to Him, I don't know. I have to verify with my attorneys under the category of international classification of scientific Nautical Surveying. Electrics Surveying, Sematak. It was like this weird fucking registration classification. And one of my guys and it was like, farming. That's where we have our trademark for Waco Boyer. I'm laughing and one of my guys goes, well, dude, we are farmers, bro. We're planting seeds in the hearts of man. I was like, okay, well, good fucking point on that. He goes on this entire thing with this passive aggressive back and forth. You can check it out on my Instagram page. You go look for it. I made a post on it. And he's going back and forth and he can't even make up his own mind one, saying he's talking shit. Then he's trying to be spiritual, and then he's trying to quote me some scripture. And then he's trying to talk shit again. And then he's trying to call me out, and then he's trying to.

That sounds smart. He's hurting.

All he's doing is I am a hurting man. The video I was referencing about the guy 10 years ago wasn't even him. I didn't have him talk to this guy in nine years. This was a different person. This guy went through in line I my whole history for 10 years of the moves I've made, he's like, well, what did you do? You changed your hair color. You're a Jack Mormon. I was like, bro, I'm not even Mormon. There's no jack about it. Jack Mormon implies that I still pretend to be Mormon and I'm operating another way. I left the Mormon Church in 2009. 2009, long before I went launched Wake Up Warrior. I have nothing against Mormonism. I love Mormon people. I think they're fantastic. I think a lot of Mormon people are fucking weirdos. But I think a lot of people are fucking weirdos. And I'm a fucking weirdo. So it's okay. We're all weird. This guy spent all that time to accomplish what?

That's why I don't get he was doing a stack.

He didn't know he was stacking. That goes for all you fuckers. The problem is y' all angry. You're angry, you're angry, you're angry and you want me to dim my light to make you feel comfortable. I got a message for you. You want me to dim my light and you want me to violate the order of God in doing it. Watch what happens. You as human beings, we get fucked. Up in our heads we start thinking that if I get other people to dim their light, then I'll feel good about my lack of light. What you should be asking yourself is why are you asking me to put a bushel over my light? Why? I'll tell you why. Because my light's burning so fucking bright it makes you burn. Burn with the sense of weak ass fucking behavior. The fact that you won't fucking do what's required. You, you didn't do what's required. You still won't do what is required. But you got plenty of time to write me a fucking 17 page email of which I appreciate because all it was was you dumping your bullshit. And that's why I got a stack tool for you. And so here's my invitation to you, Chip. And I'm gonna reach out to you personally on this too. I'm gonna invite you to come interview with me in person and see if we can't help you actually get some fucking results. And here's not on this show. I'll come interview at work. You can come into one of my events, I will interview in front of everybody, you can spin all of your venom and I will teach you how to stack. And then in that place, we'll turn you into the greatest fucking case study. Instead of being some little bitch ass pussy who wants to talk shit through email, which I put publicly anyways, we can turn you from the bitch ass person that you are to a weaponized motherfucker. Because guess what? From one bitch ass pussy to another bitch ass pussy. I get it. I'm not fucking upset about it. Might as well have had a reverse dick. Had a vagina. That's how big of a pussy I was. I couldn't do shit but talk shit. So it's a stage that you're in, but fucker, you've been in it for 10 years. When are you going to get out of that stage? You get into a place, it's like my guys in the mortgage industry from 2008, oh man, I was rolling and then we lost in the market crash and I was like, motherfucker, it's 2023.

Like I got.

That was 2000 too many. Yeah, that was exactly 15 years ago. What have you done lately? 15 years, you can't play on that. That's like trying to brag about a high school touchdown you caught and you're fucking 55. And it was when you were 12.

I think that people have like a time card though. It's like, oh, I'm convinced. The reason you and I have success is because we started young. Like, we got married young, we had babies young. Like, I look at a lot of, like, even my friends, where it's like. Or even in California where people get married a lot later, and then all of a sudden they're 40 and 50, and it's like they miss the. The window to change. They kind of just settle in, like, okay, I'm gonna be comfortable here and nothing's gonna happen. And it doesn't matter how much you want to wake them up. They can't see it for themselves. And so it comes to this place where it's like, hey, I'm gonna give you this invitation. But ultimately, like, you can't save him. You can try to give him the tools. You can show up for the example, but unfortunately, a lot of people find more purpose in being a victim than actually choosing to change.

Ooh.

And so that's where at that point, you have to be like, hey, I'm gonna keep doing my thing, but I'm not gonna save you.

Say it again. Not that part. The victim.

I don't even remember what I said.

Oh, God, I do. I remember what you said. You find more purpose in being a victim than you do in doing something about your life. And that is what the government has decided to do. It's the government and the entire left wing insanity. And a lot of the right wing insanity.

But ultimately, people just want purpose.

Sure, but let me finish this thought. I love your passion. Let me finish it. Left and right wing, Republican and Democrat, both sides on the extreme. Go fuck yourself. Here's why.

Welcome to the real White House.

Because both sides of the extreme. I don't give a shit if you are conservatives. Fuck right wing. I don't give a shit if you are liberal as left. Left wing. You realize that both these extremes are fucking idiots. They're both idiots. There are topics we should all be liberal on. There are topics that we should all be conservative on. But the one thing we need to be unified on is one central game. You were not put here to be a victim. You were not put here to be a slave. You were not put here to be helpless. God gave you dominion to build your life according to your own dictates and your own conscience. You were given an opportunity in the United States of America not to have freedom. You were given the permission to pursue happiness, to pursue an opportunity here. You don't see people running from here to other countries. I'm gonna fucking run away. For all the shit talkers in The United States of America that talk shit about this country. Go fuck yourself and move away. You won't, though. You won't because you want to reap the benefits while being a victim. And that's the problem, is our government has weaponized victimhood. The media has weaponized victimhood. The society we live in is weaponizing victimhood. Turning our children into victim, turning marriages into victim, turning chips into victim. People that feel power and being victims. And so all of a sudden, inside of this world, we're now getting a rise. That's why I'm glad that Biden became president. Can't speak straight, trips down the stairs and can't read his name off a fucking teleprompter and licks ice cream cones and sniffs children, does weird shit. I'm glad. You want to know why? Because that activated a whole bunch of motherfuckers like you and me to say we're no longer going to play this, sit on the sideline game and just watch this shit burn and watch our country burn to the ground. We're going to take a stand and we're going to make a decision. That decision is this. I am going to be accountable for my results, period. Two, I will be responsible for my marriage. Three, I will be responsible for my family. And four, I am not going to turn down my light for anyone. The fucking government, my church, anyone around me. If God tells you to go, you fucking go. But that's the problem. The real problem is you don't have a relationship with God. And for all you want to quote the scriptures to me every 15 seconds, you're in love with dead men's words. You know nothing of communion. You know nothing of the things of God. Oh, you went to your theology schools, you studied your Bibles, and you become sanitized, plastic, scripture quoting pussies.

It's a place to hide.

So we're here to say that God is calling all of us beyond Republican and Democrat. Fuck the parties calling us beyond race. Fuck all of this racism, bullshit, reparations, everybody. We are people. White, black, Asian, Latin. Some were born into wealth. Some were born into poverty. I was born into poverty. I was not born into wealth. I was given cancer as a gift. I went through divorce and carnage and chaos and addiction and confusion and frustration like no other man. Every man's gone through this shit. Every woman goes through this shit. But you still have to make a fucking decision. No one's coming to save you. No one's gonna fix your marriage. No one's going to fix Your family. No one's going to fix your bank accounts. And for sure as hell not the government. And if you're sitting around waiting for that hall pass, you're just another one of the people referenced in the Bhagavad Gita when Krishna was speaking to Arjuna. Why do you concern yourself with those who are already dead? Let the dead bury their dead. So this message isn't for everybody. Never has been for everybody. Because most people in this country are fucking idiots. Most of them are dead already. They're alive, but they're dead.

I think everybody has the opportunity to wake up. It doesn't matter how you were raised. It doesn't matter. And I honestly think this country was. Gave people the opportunity to wake up. But then the media portrays it as, like, trying to gain control. But if people really realize their potential and who they can become, that's really about what this country was born on. But it's too far left and too far right. It's an attempt for the media to control everything.

It divides everyone.

It does. But I believe that this country gives people the opportunity to build something from nothing to something.

The division to me is not a division of white and black.

No, it's victims and producers.

It's victims and producers. That's it. The biggest division you want to see. The biggest division is victims and creators. Victims and producers.

It's a different mindset. It's a different vibration. It's hard to have a conversation. You can tell somebody who's trying to get out of it. And then you're like, there's my window. And. And those are really good students. Cause you're like, oh, let me show you what's possible. And then there's people that you're like, you find more purpose in being a victim. And it's probably not gonna work out in this lifetime for you because you don't believe in yourself enough. You think you've got all these running excuses, and it doesn't matter what book or seminar or podcast that you listen to. And those are not the people that we're after. I feel like both of us are after the people that are, like, they want change, but they don't know what that looks like, whether it's in their body and in their being, in their spirituality, in their marriage. Because we're locked into these patterns and behaviors that we believe are doctrine. And they're not.

Nope.

And I believe that that's the point of really even being here on this. This planet. And this earthly experience is honestly letting this old version of you die, only to truly discover the true version you've always been. And that will come with prosperity, and that will come with abundance, and that will come with all these things. And it's interesting because, like, I feel like it's like a level of vibration to where we. You were saying it perfectly in our training we did together. You're like. You get to this level where your circle gets smaller and smaller and you stop hearing the noise.

It's quieter.

It's quieter. The air's a little bit thinner. And it's not that you don't hear it. You just. You feel the pain of people and you're like, I hope they make it. And you're no longer so angry about it. I mean, you might be angry about it, but at some level, you're kind of like, I hope they make it.

Do you know what? Do you know why people get confused? They think that I'm attacking people.

You're waking them up.

But here's the way I look at it. I am waking them up. Here's what I look at it. If you were my child or you were my brother and you were incarcerated and you were the one holding the keys to the prison cell, but there were two versions of you. There was you trapped. This divine soul that God placed here in this earth to grow, to expand, to multiply, to replenish the earth, to produce fruit. You were put here with a purpose, not to be saved. Your purpose here was not salvation. Salvation was the reparation. If we wanna talk about reparations, was the reparation the repair of the original plan of God, which was to place you here with dominion on this earth, to create. Now, if that is the frame and that is the container, and that's what you're in, and your creator is being held hostage by your very. That's why I know there's a multimillionaire in Chip who has a powerful marriage, who has a powerful family, who has a powerful life, who's a beacon, who's talking about the time that he didn't do shit for a decade and spent four days writing an email to me. And he laughs about that victim who did that shit. And I'm not worried. His victim. I don't give a fuck about his victim. His victim's a pussy. I will fuck his victim up. But what I do care about is this piece of Chip inside this divine piece that has eternal value, that is sitting held hostage by the narrative, stacked upon narrative, stacked upon narratives of bullshit. So deep into his soul and so when I collide without external frame, I'm not colliding with chip. I'm compliding with the bullshit that chip has created as scars and calluses on the outside. And you don't soft talk that shit. Oh, let me share a scripture with you. Let me pray for you. Unfortunately, if praying for you and giving you scriptures was enough, the chips of the world would be free. And many of these people are going to church.

I was gonna say I'm not a fan of organized religion for. I mean, I was raised in it, but I'm not a fan of it because of the immense amount of guilt it puts on people to actually break those patterns and frames. Like, even how we were taught. I'm like, I'm sorry. Like, I don't agree with half of the stuff that was taught in the Mormon culture. And I'm like, it doesn't work for me.

I don't agree with half the doctrine.

But regardless, like, when I broke certain patterns that I was told, like, this is bad. This is this and this and this, I actually found freedom and felt like I was discovering myself. And so it's like. It's hard to. Like, for me, that's like, I'm not a fan of organized religion. I think it puts you in too much of a box, and it puts too much, much of a. Like, you should do this. And if it doesn't, there's this immense amount of guilt, especially for women.

So people ask me, well, okay, well, where does this put you with Jesus? Right? So people ask me this because you said you came to Christ two years ago. I'm like, I did. I just didn't come to the Christ of your story. So I had a guy reach out to me about my statues. This was a guy who was in Warrior for a number of years. He hasn't connected with me for three years. He reached out to me and sent me a text, and he was trying to be nice, and I could tell he was trying to set me up for something he was about to say. And it was like somebody saying all these nice things and saying, but here's something I want you to consider. I was like, okay. So I was waiting for the punchline to drop, and he started sending me scriptures about building statues.

A lot of people think they're trying to help you, though.

I know. Well, it's because they're trying to help themselves. I represent freedom in a level they don't have. And so they come at me, wanting me to punch them in the fucking face. This is What I told him, he says, so he came to me and went back and forth and he's like, I'm rebuking you in the name of Christ, in the name of Jesus to burn those idols in your office, to melt them and burn them and to worship the true God. And I'm like, okay, so number one, we've spent no time together in three years, number one. Number two, we have no idea who each other is anymore. You don't know me, I don't know you. Number three, I want you to consider that God used whatever he needed to to get you to reach out to me. So now that you've shared your truth, I don't receive any of it. I receive you as a man with courage to collide with me. And now it's time to receive the counterpunch. And I came back to him and I said, can you help me understand why for six years God has told you to do something and you won't do it? You sit as a corporate whore, unwilling to do what you're supposed to do on the front line while having an opinion as a sideline spectator about the world. I do frontline battle. For the last 12 years, I watched you for six fucking years reject the calling of God in your life to do what you know you've been called to do. You have pussy footed around that calling every single year for six years. You've done everything but the one thing he's asking you to do. So listen here, corporate whore, until you're willing to do what's required, you will never understand who I am. You will never understand what it takes to do what I do. And so you will fling your little fucking toothpick arrows at your opinions about what I do and who I am and how I operate. And you will continue to be nothing more but a weak ass fucking pawn in the game of kings. Once you choose to play on the front lines and take a risk, all this bullshit you're talking to me will fucking disappear. Because producers respect producers, even if they don't agree. They will look at each other and say, listen, you can't fake your way and into where you are. You did something right to get here. And they don't spend time writing 15 page fucking emails or reaching out to people to rebuke them. And I asked them, I said, why is it that pastors, preachers, why is it men of God spend so much time trying to rebuke other beacons, attempting to do what God has called them to do and spend such little time lighting Their ass on fire, on top of a fucking hill and burning bright enough for their people that God has called them to lead, to come see them, to no, you hide, you fucking hypocrites.

Do you think everyone's called to be a leader?

Yes, I believe that all are called. I don't believe that many are called. I believe all are called. But I also believe that very few will ever choose that calling. Every man and woman has been called by God.

But to be a leader, to be.

A leader, even if that leadership is leading, all of us are leaders of ourselves, right?

I always preach to my students. I'm like, hey, the, the bigger version of you that you become, the more impact you'll have on others, whether it's your family, your community, maybe your church, whatever it is. I'm like, the bigger version of you you become, the more impact you will have. I said, so by not becoming a bigger version of you, you're being selfish. When I frame it like that, they're like, oh, I never thought about that. I'm like, yeah, so next time you're scared to put yourself out there because you're so worried about what everybody else is thinking about, you consider the impact that you're not making because you're too scared to put yourself out there. And when you put it in perspective like that, they're like, oh, wow, I didn't think about that. And I'm like, yeah, so why don't you take a risk? How about you not worry about what other people think? How about you feel stupid? And how about you keep doing that consistently and see what happens? And a lot of them, whether they're small leaders or big leaders, like, the bigger version of you, you become the bigger impact you have on others, including your family, and even consider, like, the legacy of your family and what that becomes. Think about you and I. If we didn't continue to, like, evolve as, as human beings, we wouldn't have two more babies. We worked on our, ourselves individually and collectively and repaired our marriage and ended up having four beautiful daughters we could have had then think about the impact that they might make. So it's everybody, I, I, I mean, I, I sense, like, everybody can be a leader, but everybody can make, make an impact. And like, for us, it's been, we both feel very called to have a pretty massive impact on others. And whether it's with Warrior or whether it's with even, like my hairstylist, like, I'm very passionate about helping hairstylists see their bigger, better versions of themselves, their brighter versions of themselves because hairstylists were looked at as hairstylists. Just, oh, you didn't have anything else to do in life, so you just decided to do hair. And they're thought of as, like, very, like, breaking the mindset of an artist of, like, believing more in themselves is hard because they're taught. You're in the service industry. You work. Whenever I say you're not worthy enough to charge enough, like, sorry, you're just a hairstylist. And that's why hairstylists adopt a lot of, like, really shitty behaviors and patterns and kind of are very unworthy. And that's, like, another thing I, like, I love about teaching my students is like, hey, you can become this bigger version of yourself and imagine even just like, like I said, your family and your kids that you have an impact on.

So people will look at this and they say, you're an asshole. And I say, I agree. And the interesting part about being an asshole is that asshole is a function of perspective. If you ask the thousands of men that have come to wake up warrior if I'm an asshole, they will say yes. If you ask my wife if I'm an asshole, she will say yes. If you ask my children if I'm an asshole, they will say yes. But you act as if somehow being an asshole is a bad thing. Do you know what version of you thinks I'm an asshole? You're a victim. You're a victim thinks I'm an asshole. And because you allow that victim to keep running your life, you continue to shrink. When you were called to rise, you continue to be terrified, not of me or others like us, who continue to rise. You are terrified about the fact that the clock keeps ticking on this calling called life. And you continue to sit there in a small little box squabbling over stupid shit. Do you recognize that in marriage, until you can solve the sex issue and you can solve the money issue, you will continue to fight about the same two topics the rest of your whole life and never once come to experience the true purpose of communion as a couple. You will not experience what God talks about in the Bible of a man and woman becoming one flesh. You won't know even the first thing of this, and you'll pass from this life in this bullshit sedate a game in the last 20 years. Overweight, watching TV, diabetic, going to the doctor, popping 15 different medications every day and calling this enduring to the end. Here's the thing I want you to consider. What if you wake up after you die from this place and it's not pearly gates and trumpets blowing, but simply you're confronted with the reality of how small you played in this life, and you got to do it again. What if it's not panda bears and happy fruit for eternity? What if you don't get to skip the work? And what if we are in an accelerated place here in this earth where you get to experience growth and understanding of who you truly are as a soul? And once this opportunity is gone, it becomes exponentially more difficult. What if this was a gift from God, not as a test, but as an accelerated opportunity? What if all your fears about the coming of the end of this place are nonsense? What if the darkness that you are so afraid of truly has no power? What if God is who he says he is and he, with simply one breath, could baptize this planet in fire? Do you think he actually needs us to do anything? I will have you consider the answer is no. Then that means that you and I find ourselves in an interesting proposition. We find ourselves in an opportunity to choose to experience a life here of our own design, in communion with God, not by the rules of men, to be in the world, but not of the world. To bring the kingdom of heaven to the kingdom of Earth. This becomes the mission. But you're so wrapped up in trying to survive until you have unlimited amount of sexual connection with your wife, you'll still be just a penis hunt in a vagina. Not to recognize that it will never satisfy. Until you can get the money and buy whatever you want, you'll still think that money actually matters. Until you can bring communion to your family and recognize that your children are not yours, but simply an opportunity to teach you and to guide you, you will continue to try to control them. See, consider this whole life begins in abundance. And until you've placed it all in abundance, you're simply trapped in a prison of your own creation. And so we do this show.

It's like this show was more of like a Garrett podcast today.

No, this show was a segue to the real White House.

It is. I do. I feel like I communicate things a lot differently than you do. More of like a. You're super intense and I'm a little bit lighter. But I feel like our viewpoint on things is very similar in the sense of like. I'm like, yeah, this. I get kind of certain impressions of like, it doesn't get easier when you die. In fact, this worldly experience. Experience, I believe, is a gift to almost like, fast track us. And there's no guarantee that you get this earthly experience again, but you've always been a being. So that's why I'm like, okay, if you can take that perspective on life and you're like, holy, then every day really matters. And there's actually a lot you can do in a single day. And. And life is going to pass you by whether you choose to do something or not. So why not be effective with your time? And if something's not working for you, ask yourself the simple question, why do I continue to operate in these patterns and behaviors if they're not serving me? And if you can come to that realization with things, that's when you're truly going to see change. And Garrett and I, we've kind of done it independently and together, and we are always kind of cohesively learning and growing with one another. And we call it, like, push and pull. But we both feel inspired that what we have done in life with our kids can. Can be achievable, can be done, and that so many people just need to unlock this potential and this. This freedom to become this bigger version of themselves, to ultimately, like, fast track this planet. Like, literally, we're, like, in this space and day and time and age that everything will burn if we don't get some people to kind of flip their vibrations.

So we started this podcast as therapy for us. And the amount of work that we've done with each other and individually over the years has finally gotten us to a place where we are vibrating at the same level, up and down, day to day, with each other and unified. The message itself expands. It's not just date your wife. It's not just date your husband. It's rise as kings and queens. It's rise as couples. We want to change this country. We want to change this planet. We can't. There's no change that can happen. The more things change, the more things stay the same. The same political battles that we play, the same race divisions, the same bullshit we play. You're watching what's happening. I had a guy come to me and say, can you believe that these men are dressing up as women and dancing naked in front of children? I said, I'm not so worried about the dudes who are dancing like women in front of children. I'm not so worried about the naked dudes in New York at the pride parades, dancing in front of children. What I'm concerned about are the fucking parents who support this bullshit and take their children to these activities so we can look at the source of the problem. The source of the problem is not some confused man with a dick that thinks he's a chick. That's not the problem. There's no confusion in this. The man has a dick, he'll never be a chick. Then where is the confusion? The confusion is in the fucking parents and the weak ass fucking men that take their children to these environments. This is where we begin the situation. So people look at me, where do we stop sex trafficking? It's a fucking massive issue. You wake men up, you unify and wake up women. You unify couples and you wake them up and connect them to God. Then you blast that light into the family and those families unify with other families. And the vibration makes it impossible.

Right?

We're watching right now. Prophecy being fulfilled, secret things are all being exposed. The dark things are all being shined into the light, just like was prophesied. The only question will be, is, are you gonna fucking participate or are you just gonna be consumed by it? Because as Daniel was saying, there is a way to be able to experience this. God was not kidding when he said experience. Being in the world, but not of the world. This requires you to learn how to create. And the biggest creation that we've been given is the opportunity to be individuals in partnership by decision with a person, a soul that we say, I am going to do life in this physical game of creation with you.

You're my guy.

You're my girl.

So welcome to the Date youe Write podcast. And soon to be coming, the real White House.

So listen, this show is not like a typical show because I'm fucking on fire today. And I have been in a fuckton of meetings since 6am and I rol straight out of a massive meeting and a deal I just did straight here with you. So we didn't get to talk about fun shit. You don't get fun shit every week because after fun shit comes the fiery shit. The fiery shit is what gets the fun shit to happen. You don't get to have fun until you have fire. You get fire, you build a life, you can have lots of fun.

I was thinking we were gonna talk about the baby. Parenting.

Come here, baby girl. Come here. Charlie. Isla. Charlie, come here. Isla.

I thought I could whistle. Can't.

Isla. Charlie, Come here.

Hey, Joe.

What are you doing?

Oh, she got piggies.

Come here, Isla. Come here. Ruby. We'll end it with a happy note with the kids. You still rolling? All right, we'll just wrap this podcast up with the kids. So here's the deal, Weather Sue. We're fighting for we fight for ourselves. We're fighting for the future of our children, too. I refuse to allow this game to continue to roll the way it is. So this is Isla. Come here.

Here, bring me a charger. Charlie, come.

Here you go. Oh, you embarrassed now?

Yeah. I smell disgusting.

I smell like cigars, huh? I smell disgusting. All right, go sit with mom. Mom didn't smoke cigars before the show. Dad was smoking cigars to celebrate a deal. This is why we do what we do right here. The thing that's crazy is, had I not been dating this woman and had we not fought hard, these two right here would not exist. Daniel and I, in 2016 almost ended our marriage. Had we ended our marriage, these two souls would have never come to us, ever. And to consider the possibility that these two would not be in our lives. Had we not had the power and courage to date each other and to fight for each other, these two persons, these two beautiful girls of ours wouldn't be here. This one. Come here.

There's three. We have five. Another teenage daughter here somewhere.

Introduce yourself.

I'm Ruby. What did you do? Junior lifeguards.

And how'd it help?

No, it was not it. We had to swim really far out in the ocean with just, like, flippers on, but the flippers were uncomfortable.

Did you make it?

Yeah, but you're a champion.

And what did you learn about yourself? Doing it.

About myself?

Mm.

I mean, I knew I could swim that far, but, like, it was scary because I don't really like the ocean.

And you did it. Do you also know what you did? Your sister didn't make it to day two.

Bailey.

Bailey quit after day one. How's it make you feel? She dominated. What your sister was able to.

Was she with one of her friends or was she by herself?

She was with. I think she's by herself. She was a friend there, though. But she quit after day one. You made it to day two. You gonna finish the whole week?

Maybe you're finished.

No.

She's like, game on. I'm gonna do it.

I gotta finish the whole week instead of listening. You already took your sister's room. You got the third floor, master suite, junior master to yourself because your sister couldn't get her together. You gonna win? Yeah.

I want to skip one of the days, though.

No. Yeah. I don't want to hear this. Edit that out of the show. I'm just kidding. All right, well, that brings conclusion. Listen, if you are here watching this show, we have the real White House reality show coming out. Okay?

Say something I'm boring.

You're boring. Oh, you're fine. You're cute. We got the real White House reality show coming out here. Dropping first episode in August and then they'll start rolling out in September, week after week from there on top of that, too. The tools here at Wake Up Warrior, we're going to keep talking about them. If you do not have access to tools, great place to start is the Wake Up Warrior challenge. You can check that out today. Very minimal investment, couple hundred dollars. Get you and your spouse started down the path of learning how to use the tools we use to put our lives back together, weaponize our lives across body, being balanced in business and how tens of thousands of individuals and couples of the done the same. You can start today. Get your ass over to wakeupwarrior.com and get started with the tools of the Core 4. The stack, the door, the game. And ultimately create the impossible future that God's calling you into, my friends. That's all we got for you today. We got a junior guard swimmer. We got a boring 4 year old. No, did you say boring? Weird. And then we got a baby that disappeared. Oh, there she is. All right, we're out. Until next week. Garrett J. White and Danielle K. White signing off, saying love and light, good morning, good afternoon and good night.