Triple Sh*t Show | Date Your Wife | Ep 030

Oh, I don't have my headphones.

Hello, my friends. Welcome to this week's date your wife podcast. My name is Garrett J. White, your host with the co. Hostess of the mostess. Monsieur. No. Miss. What is it? Monsieur? No, I only remember Bonsto. Senorita. Senorita.

Senorita.

No, no, not senorita. All right. Literally. Danielle K. White, the founder of DKW Styling, also your co host here in the date you y podcast. Danielle, today we have a spectacular, spectacular topic. It is not sex. It is not money. It is a third topic that tends to come from sex and some money or at least a desire to spend money the rest of your life. It is the topic of. Wait, wait, wait. Here we go.

Are we doing a drum roll for this one?

Today the topic is kids parenting.

Parenting.

Parenting with kids.

Parenting with kids.

Okay, now, we. We. We are new here to the podcast. Well, we're not. If you're new to the podcast here date, you'll find out really quickly what we count on.

Big money stylists. My other podcast, we count. We're like, this is episode number.

We don't like to count here at date your wife.

We're like, at like, 75 or something.

It's like 7 million shows have happened already. We're not even counting. I'll actually tell you. This is number 30.

Oh, okay.

This is number 30. Dirty. Ooh, ooh, I like that.

That's how we announced the podcast for dirty BMS. We were like, it's dirty 30.

Oh, so we're swiping that off of BMS.

Yeah, pretty much.

Okay, listen, let's talk. Let's talk about this show. Why are we doing this show with date your wife podcast? Talk to me about this.

Honestly, being married is kind of a shit show at times, and also being married with kids adds to the shit show.

Double shit show.

Being married with kids, both working. Triple shit show.

Triple shit show.

And even if you don't, if you're a wife that doesn't work, you kind of manage the home a lot of times. So you're still working. Like, let's be real there. You're managing. You're managing a lot. A lot of the chaos, a lot of the shit show.

Listen, it's not a job to be at home as a woman with kids. It's like a hobby. It's like a pastime. You can easily do it. It's not, you know, it's not even real job.

Very stressful. I feel like, oh, my God, I'm.

Literally saying this just to fire you up.

I find, like, sometimes when I'm just at home. Oh, my God. This is the. Oh, my God. I need help being. I need help being a mom. Can I get a moment? Can I hire a mom? Can I hire a mom? I just realized that's such a legit question.

Can I hire a mom for myself?

I want somebody to cut my pancakes up and tuck me into bed and not have to worry about anything.

I'll cut your pancakes.

I want to hire a mom.

I won't be your mom, but I'll cut your pancakes for you anytime you want. Nope. All right. That's actually a move. Cut your pancakes. It's not a move, it's a move. I just made it up. It's a move we made in the hotel room in Italy.

I didn't say, babe, I'm going to cut your pancakes.

I'm going to literally cut your pancakes.

I'm going to be corrupt out. Please don't cut my pancakes.

Don't cut my pancakes. I want them uncutting.

Cut my croissant.

Cut my. Whoa.

See? It sounds dirtier when I say it.

It does.

If I'm like, will you cut my pancakes? It's not that funny. When I'm like, you want to cut my croissant bake? It's ultimately sexy.

The answer is, you want me to cut anything. Croissant.

All you saw was, like, drizzly Nutella all over someone and something, and I.

Thought it was something different. When you said, cut my croissant pancakes, I just thought about pancakes. When you said croissant, I thought I was on the.

When you were saying pancakes, I was like, you don't want to know what I envisioned. But I was like, that looks ugly. And then croissant seems sexier. Like, I don't know.

Are you thinking ass cheeks?

I think. No, I think with the pancakes, I was thinking ass cheeks and cutting, and there's too much going on.

But you were thinking of, like, man ass cheeks.

I was like, never mind.

No, you're thinking about woman ass cheeks. All right, who knows where this is?

I was like, where are you going with my pancakes?

Okay, listen, the topic today is parenting. And we pulled off the herculean effort of all time. We not only went to Europe for the first time on vacation, we also did something a little out of the ordinary. We took our children to Europe on vacation.

You know what? I just gotta start the show by saying yesterday we literally. So let me just describe to you when we came home. Let me just describe to you this said plan, we woke up, we had to drive to Naples from Amalfi coast. It's like an hour and a half drive there.

We left at 7:30 in the morning.

We left at 7:30 in the Morning. We got there, we had to take a three and a half hour plane ride to London.

London.

We then, for some reason Gatwick doesn't fly to la, so we had to drive to Heathrow, which is the big international airport there. And it's normally a 45 minute drive. However, two hours. It was like two and a half hours because there was traffic and something going on. We thought we were going to miss our flight. I was like, oh my God. But luckily our flight got delayed. But even though we were late, our flight got delayed another 2 1/2, 40 minutes.

2 and a half, 40 minutes. I like your time. By this time, everything.

I don't know what day or how many half, 40 minutes there are in a day.

It's falling apart for you at this point in the equation. We haven't even got over a long time.

We started drinking quickly and then we got on the plane and then it's another 11 hours and then we get home and then to LA. And then Customs in LA is a nightmare.

Yes.

Who the fuck created. Why is customs in la?

Because it's United States of America.

It is the longest. I've never seen such a cat hurtling. Intertwining. It's, it's, it's ridiculous is what it is. And then we get in the car from LA and we drive an hour and 15 minutes. Luckily there was no traffic because we got in at midnight. So literally we were. From the time we woke up, from the time we got to our doorstep was like 12, 26 hours.

26 hours with two children. With two children.

I want a trophy.

You do get a trophy.

Thank you.

Right after I cut your croissant. All right, listen, here's the thing though. Like, this was like, we normally, like, our first step as a couple is to go on trips with just each other. Then we started venturing down this luxurious path of taking kids on trips with us. Now there were a lot of people that were shocked we took our kids to Europe.

I wanted to. I felt like they were old enough.

I know, but like, literally, I have friends who have gone to Europe many times and they're like, dude, I can't believe you guys took your kids. That's incredible.

You go, now that we've gone with our kids, like, will you. Would you go with just you and I?

Yes. For sure. I think it would be way better. Yeah. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna lie to you.

I was just nervous about, like, going to Europe for. Because we went for like, it was an eight day span. And I get really nervous, like, leaving my kids for that long, but. And everybody's like, if you're gonna go to Europe, you have to go for at least 10 days. And I get nervous leaving my kids. But now, like, realizing how much traveling we did on that trip because we literally went from Monaco 26 hours. Well, no, no, we went from Monaco to Rome, from Rome to Amalfi. So how much we traveled in between. I honestly think that I'd be willing to, like, go there with you and I. Even if it was just like five.

Days, you'd be willing.

I'd be willing to.

You'd be willing to sacrifice.

If you cut my pancakes, I will not do it.

If I cut your pancakes, but if you let me cut your croissant daily, yes, I will take you. All right, so this was. This was quite the adventure. And you can imagine kids are tired and fatigued, like right now. We had a situation go down. Let's talk about this. Let's talk about the situation that just went down. We were sitting, recording another training live inside of one of our hair training companies called Big Money Stylish, right before we came in to do this podcast. And we got notified that our babysitter, our nanny, was running to pick up one of our daughters at surf camp and leaving our other daughter in the car in the parking lot because she.

Fell asleep in the car.

Because of the 26 hours of travel and the fact that we got home last night, she slept for seven and a half, eight hours on our flight back from London, which means in her body clock, it was like morning time at like midnight. She was bouncing off the walls.

It was so funny. I went in this morning and I knew. I was like, nope, I'm going to sleep. So I went to sleep from probably like 12 to 6. And then I woke up at 6 and I was like, wide awake. And I go in there thinking, like, they're just gonna be like, passed out and literally wide awake. Wide awake on her phone with her headphones, she's like. And she's like, hi, Mom. I didn't go to sleep at all. And literally the first thought that kind of came to my head was like, fuck. I was like, you're not. How? I don't know.

The fatigue factor has set in. So anyways, Ruby falls asleep in the Car today with the nanny, with Tori. She falls asleep in the parking lot. But then Tori's gotta go pick up Ruby or Bailey from surf camp. So we've got a four year old or seven year old in the backseat passed out. She leaves the child. You go into panic.

Well, because you don't leave kids in the car. And I had this mommy intuition. I was like. Cause I always, I tell whenever my nannies are helping me pick up my kids from wherever. It gives me peace of mind as a working mom. Like, if they just send me a little text, like, even though I'm working, I think this is common. Like, we have, like the mom radar usually. Like, we could be in the middle of our day. Like, everything. We're like, oh, it's four o'. Clock. Kids should be being picked up. At least. That's just how I am. And I find a lot of women are like that. It's like we have this mommy, mommy radar. Mommy radar we cannot turn off. I just ask my babysitters or nannies. I'm like, hey, just text me. Like, it just gives me a little peace of mind. Like, oh, cool, they're safe. They're good. So. So anyways, I'm like, she's not texting me. It's four. She's not texting me. And she's usually like, early, if anything. I'm like, she's not texting me. So I call my daughter. I'm like, hey, is Tori there? She's like, no, I don't see her yet. And I'm like, really? She goes, oh, I see her. She's running to get me. And I go, oh, is she with Ruby? She goes, no. I go, ask her where Ruby is. She goes, okay, where's Ruby? She fell asleep in the car. I'm like, you tell her to turn around and run. Cause it's like it was at a beach that I don't really feel comfortable, like, leaving kids in cars locked. And plus, it's worn.

I wouldn't feel comfortable with a kid in a car, any parking lot.

You shouldn't. You really shouldn't.

I agree.

I think it's a law, in fact, that you can't when they're under a certain kind of thing. Like, I don't know. So anywho, she starts sprinting back. And then I tell Bailey, I'm like, stay there. You got your phone on her. I'm gonna make Tori pull around with her in the car. And so anyway, everything was squared away.

So let's talk about this, though. This is communicating instructions about children to other people who are involved. This is one of the big things about parenting, is that most women have a big time struggle with leaving their kids with anyone. Like, leaving them. Like, we have tons of couples that we know that the only time they go on a date night is if their mom or dad watches their children. Right? Or their brother or sister watches. They will not leave their child with anyone else. And this is an interesting thing, and you're the most. You're at the top of the list when it comes to anxiety. So let's talk about this for a second. How have you gotten to a point where you could be comfortable with having someone else watch our children? That was not.

I think I got to this.

Not a family member, per se.

I honestly, I've never been uncomfortable that wasn't a family member. In fact, half the time when my mom would be in town, she'd be like, let me watch your kids. And I was like, no, because I'm very like. I'm like, hey, text me when you have the kids. Text me this. And I don't think, like, when I would tell my mom that, she'd almost be offended. She'd always. She. I know she would. She'd fire back and send me a text. Something like, you know, I had six kids. I'm like, don't give a shit. Like, this is my protocol that makes me feel better not saying, like, it has anything to do with you. It's more for me. But. So I just stopped asking my mom. I. She'd be like, I don't mind, really? And I'd be like, no, really, I don't want you to watch my kids. Because I just felt like I couldn't. Like, it wasn't. I'd rather have this babysitter where they, like, know I have a certain protocol of how I do things, and I don't have to worry about offending my mom because she had six kids. But anywho. Yeah, I think. I think I got to this place where you really fought for it. Like, we're date nights and everything. And it would give me, like, the worst stress, and then we'd find somebody and I'd get to know him. And I was like, oh, okay, I'm good. And then they'd leave, and I'd be like, oh, my God, I need to find a new babysitter. And then, like, over time, I just, like, kind of surrendered. Like, hey, if I. I'm gonna be working. And even if I wasn't working, like, date nights is A priority for us. And so we always have to have somebody while our kids are little that's gonna help out. And I refuse to let that hold me hostage. And I felt like I was being held hostage by my own anxiety and my own choice. And, like, anything, the more you do it and the more you surrender to it, the more it becomes less scary. And you're like, oh, that was fun. And even, like, going on vacation, like, for me, like, I still get nervous. Like, it. I'm sure it goes down in every mom's head. Like, when you leave your kids, you're like, oh, man, if the plane goes down, I just gotta let my kids know I love him. But ultimately, like, you can't live your life like that. You can't, like, be like, I can't ever fly anywhere. I can't ever go on a date. Because you're literally just, like. It makes your mind's 80, like, worse. And you're held hostage to. You're just held hostage. I feel like. And I hate for women that want, like, control of their lives. It's weird that we would let an emotion, like, control that of us. Does that make sense, kind of what I'm saying?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay. So, like, at the end, like, how did you get comfortable with having other people watch the kids? Because this is part of the parenting game, is bringing other. It takes a village, small village to raise a child. Even for me, like, we've created our.

Village with, like, Tori. It's like, little things. Like, we'd. I would, like, wait till I'd get to know him and gain their trust. And then it would start with, like, if we're gonna do a vacation. I remember there was, like. I was like, hey, let's do an overnighter. Or we did. I think we did, like, a quick Vegas trip or something. It was our first trip. I'm like, it'll be a good way to, like, test the waters, and then maybe we'll go somewhere a little bit longer in the summer. And so I just. That's what I did. We went for, like, a little overnight stay, and the house didn't burn down. The kids are still alive, and they seem like they had a good time. And so I was like, okay. And it's interesting because I always get nervous before, but then once I'm usually out of town, I'm fine. I think because you're busy or drinking or both, that all of a sudden I just kind of, like, chill out. And I'm like, oh. And as long as I can talk to him, like, in the morning and the night, I'm like, I'm good. But it never changes the fact that I get a little nervous every time I go out of town. But I don't know.

So we. This was a fight. Like, this was a struggle for Danielle to. I think my chair continues to sink.

Does it?

Like, I swear to you, I don't know.

You just kept getting smaller and smaller.

I keep sitting in a normal position.

I thought you were just really tired and antsy.

No, I think I keep shrinking in this chair. Like, look at it. I think I'm shrinking. Am I shrinking? I think it's. No, look at it. I swear to God, it's slowly going down. It is. Look at it. It's slowly shrinking. Do you have my chair?

I'm less heavier than you.

No, no, we're good. Okay, so here was the deal. Like, I fought for this with Danielle forever. Like, she was not having it at all. Now, like, without outside of family watching, we never go out because we didn't have a babysitter. And I was more concerned about having a babysitter so that we could connect, because I knew if we didn't connect and spend time, which was with Danielle's love language, there was no chance for sex and connection in the side that I wanted, which was like, physical touch, et cetera. Like, that was not happening. So I found a website, and I know this gets promoted on a lot of, like, couples, and we're not sponsored. There's no sponsorship for this show. We are the sponsors of our own show. Oh, no, There are sponsors found@warriorbook.com.

Actually, the sponsor, I thought you said is DKW Styling.

DKWStyling.com.

I didn't even know I was a sponsor.

Warriorbook.com. all right, check those out over there. But anyways, there's another resource or tool that we're going to Give, which is care.com oh, yeah.

People know about that?

Yeah, some people do. I didn't know about it. And then we found out about it. This is where we found Tori.

Yeah, we found tori@care.com We've used care.com a few times. And sometimes you have to get through a few pebbles to find your diamond.

We haven't even tried to go through Pebbles because we have an interesting process that we use when it comes to using Care.com or other resources like this.

The first time we had tried this.

Let's explain this.

First time we had tried this approach, it actually worked better because it's like you put an ad on care.com. and everybody uses it that, like, you get bombarded with 70, and you're like. And you're looking at the profiles going like, well, she looks not like a killer. Well, she looks not like a killer. He's definitely a killer. Nope. He's. No. She's definitely crazy. She's. No, no. And so you're just like. Kind of like. And then you get overwhelmed.

I would never hire. And you're just like, come watch our job.

I know. I would be surprised when a guy.

Would like, I was impressed there were a couple guys on there, but I was like, I appreciate your passion, but it's never fucking happening.

But anyway, so this last time, because I'll tell you a funny story. One time, this lady had her profile, and I couldn't tell. Like, she looked older, but I couldn't tell how old. And I. And so I'm like, well, I'll talk to her on the phone. And then I can probably get a good feel for her. And so we called her up, and we were on the phone, and we're like. And I'm like, God, she sounds. She sounds old. Like, really old. And so I just straight up asked her.

Shit, I forgot.

I just straight up asked her. I'm like, okay, so, like, how old are you? And she kind of laughed.

72 or something.

Yeah, she kind of laughed and said, like, I don't know what she said. She's like, well, you don't need to know my age. And I was like, listen, I. I'm not trying to offend you, but, like, I want to make sure you're not 90. And. And then I was like, okay, well, I'll have you come over. And she came over, and I think she was 72, but she. I mean, you could tell she had a stressful life.

Yeah. Her husband had passed away. She was a widow, and she was 72. And. Yeah. You don't think it was interesting like that? That's. We're not doing a good job of building up this character because this was one woman who. She was actually not bad. She was great. What do we call her? Grandma? What?

Grandma. I don't remember.

Grandma. I can't remember.

I can't remember. But anyway, she was nice, but you could tell that she just. She didn't want to be. That she didn't want to do that. And my kids, like, didn't enjoy being with her, and I finally. I think she wouldn't play. And she was trying to be really strict, which I don't really know. Anyways, it wasn't a good fit. And I finally was like, hey, it's not a good fit. And she's like, totally understand. I feel the same way. So then I'm like, I. I get smarter because I'm thinking like, hey, at my salon, when I hire receptionist or not receptionist, if I hire anybody, I don't. I say, please don't send me your resume first. Send me a video of why you think you're a good fit. Because I am, like, big on people's energy and vibes and. And that kind of thing. So that's what I decided to do. With care.com we just said we. Instead of like going through 75 ads, we just said, hey, put. Put out a video of why you think you're a good fit. It's so interesting. Cause I swear I got over like 100 emails of people who applied, and only one person, which is the girl that I ended up hiring, sent me a video. And I was like, oh, she's cute and she seems normal, and let's have her come on over. So anyways, that worked for us.

She'd been amazing. And if we had done that with grandma Donna. Yeah, if we had done that with grandma Donna, Grandma Donna would never got past the gatekeeper. But you know what? Grandma Donna was great. It was a great transition. The thing we noticed it was interesting is that grandma Donna was able to get away with, like, doing some things that only grandmas could get away with, which was get the kids would just go to bed. Like, which was unheard of for babysitters before. But Tori has been a magical connection. So look at the strategy here. Okay? You put up the ad on care.com and then from the ad, instead of dealing with the normal process to get on the phone and talk about it, you require them to send a video, email you a video submission answering the question of who they are, where are they from, you know, why do they want to be involved in this with you and your family, what experience you have, anything else you want from them? Keep the video less than three or four minutes and they send it in. Now, again, we had like 100 plus individuals who wanted to work for us off of care.com based on our area and our requirements and options. We were paying, but we only had one person submit a video, and the person submitted the video was a perfect fit. Like, she was great. We loved Tori. She does a great job with us, but she was demonstrating to us courage and action. And also, she couldn't hide. There was nowhere to hide. Who she was as a person in video that you can easily hide with pictures and with the right bio or thinking through the text description now payment. Let's talk about this. A lot of people go, interesting.

I think this is the topic of our show.

It wasn't. I just bent it to this.

That's why I wanted to talk about our trip.

We can talk about our trip and our parenting. Oh boy, that was a shit show. A bit sometimes. No, no, we're gonna come back to that. But we're gonna. Okay, well, we got 10 minutes left on this show and we're going to conclude this piece and then we'll move to the next piece because I think it's really valuable. Okay, so how do you determine pay of a babysitter nanny?

Everybody always asks that. And I think the reason that nannies are so quick to turn over is because people want somebody who's like readily available for hourly pay. And if you're on care.com like you need a job. And with having a job comes like a certain amount of security. And so if you want that disposal of having somebody, you know, you know, even if it's like there's some like last week she like, we didn't use it at all. She just kind of like took care of our dog while we were gone. And then when we come back, I'm like, hey, I know I didn't think I needed you today on Monday, but actually I do. Can you pick up my kids from surf camp and this and that? And she's like, yeah, no problem, you know, and she's helping us out for a couple hours a day. So you can't expect to have somebody who's like delivering you like a top notch experience or being readily available to just like help you out in little areas of your life. If you're like, I'm only willing to pay you hourly rate and I'll just, you know, we could probably offer you 30 hours a week maybe, I'll let you know. Kind of thing like you can't really approach it like that or otherwise they're, they're gonna have to supplement their income somewhere else. Which is when we first hired even Tori, we'd pay her hourly. We paid her well, you know, because we wanted to show her like, hey, we're serious, we need help. But we're just kind of like a trial period. And then we moved the game into just guaranteed salary. And we said, hey, listen, like some weeks it's gonna be a shit show, and then some weeks it's just Gonna be like, grab some groceries, pick up the kids, bring them home for an hour, and then two date nights a week, for sure. Sometimes we'll travel. And so that's kind of the deal we worked out. And if we break it even. If we break. Broke it down on an hourly basis, she'd be making way more than she would. Cause she had a second job at the time. And we're like, if you drop this at the job, we'd be willing to, like, pay you xyz, and then you can just work for us full time. But we're also not the type. Like, I know, like, it's for a lot of people that might be like, oh, God, if I'm paying him salary. Because even I was guilty of, like, when we paid somebody else salary, I'd be like, you're gonna. You're gonna work for it then. And I. I think I'd, like, almost give him. Give her too much stuff. I'd be like, you need to do laundry. You need to do this. You need to do this. You know, this. And because I was trying to get my money's worth, I was like, well, if we're gonna pay him salary, I want to get my money's worth. And I felt like we were like, paying more, like, with that specific person, way, way more than what we needed. And so that's why I was like, oh, my God. Like, I expected a lot more. And so this time I was like, well, I think we were kind of overpaying this person, which kind of created a little game of. A little bit of entitlement. I felt like. And then it just bugged me, and that relationship didn't work out. And so when I came into this relationship, I was like, listen, I'm going to pay you well, where you're going to be making more than you would anywhere else hourly. But I'm just. I really want the focus to be on my kids. And I took, like. What I ended up doing is, like, stuff like. Because I'd get really. I find a lot of women when they hire babysitters, they get so pissed about, like, the house not being clean and things like that. Like, they do, like, they, like. Instead of like, oh, my kids love this nanny, they get home, they're like, well, she didn't fucking unload the dishwasher.

When you say women, you mean you?

Me. And I talk to, like, a lot of women at my salon. And I remember even talking to Val, and she'd be like, I remember when she first started hiring a babysitter and she'd be like, I'm so pissed. I'm paying her, like, X amount of doll per hour. And I come home and the dishwasher is not even unloaded or something. Or did. And I was like. I would, like, laugh because I was like, yeah, I get it. Like, you. You think, like, you're hiring somebody to, like, be mom, but really, you're just hiring somebody to take care of your kids and make sure your kids feel loved and are. And are just taken care of. And then every now and again, if I'm like, Tori, like, Tori's good. Like, she always will make sure the house is picked up. I very rarely have to ask her. And then if I need her to help me out with other stuff, I'm like, hey, do you mind switching over the laundry? And things like that. But I don't have, like, a checklist of things. Like, I'm expecting her to be the mom, the house cleaner, the. And all these mini roles. I just want her to take care of my children. And then I. What I did is I ended up. I was like, you know what? I'm gonna have her have that role. And then I ended up hiring my cleaner twice a week. Cause I'd be so fucking pissed that the house wasn't clean, Which I like. Again, I said for women and myself included, is, like, such a big deal. We, like, especially if we work, we just want to come home to a clean house. Like, if you've worked all day and you come home to. It's messy, you're just, like, more tired. So what I did is on the days I only work behind the chair at my salon two days a week. And so what I did is I had my cleaner come on those two days because I knew that would eliminate a lot of stress for me. So it's like my babysitter could focus on her role. And then the stuff that I felt like wasn't getting done. My cleaners do my laundry. They clean up my house. They do everything else. And people. Some people might think it's ridiculous to pay a house cleaner to come twice a month. But if you look at, like, the overall picture of how much value you're getting out of your babysitter and your cleaner, and then you're just a happier person, it's totally worth it.

So for me, all I cared about was one thing that I did not have to worry about. What day I was coordinating date nights. And I didn't have to worry about if Aunt Mildred could come over and watch our kids. We don't have an Aunt Mildred, but you can imagine what I'm talking about. Like I wanted to make sure that if I want to take Danielle out, which was important to me, which. And also I needed Danielle to not feel stressful because she used to be stressed all the time about the cleaning, stressed about all this stuff, like just stressed all the time. And then it would affect our intimacy, it would affect our communication, would affect, we'd fight over shit. And I was like, you know what, this is not worth it. I'm willing to pay somebody's salary just to guarantee I got two date nights every single week regardless. Like that's all for me. So. And then Danielle was actually for. I like actually talked Danielle off the ledge many times. Just helping her understand the game of going to somebody who is a salary player. I was like, these people, this person needs guarantees. They need to feel like they matter and that they count in the equation. They're not just like some expectation. Where I watch a lot of couples will expect the world out of somebody with no guarantees, right? They're like, you know, I expect you to be available on Thursdays at 5 o' clock. Even though the last two Thursdays we didn't call and pay you or we canceled last minute and there was no money in a few.

If it's not your prior, your main job, do you know what I mean? If you're only, if you're like, listen, I can guarantee two date nights a week. That's not enough for somebody to like pay their bills on.

No, not particularly. If you're getting somebody that's a little bit quality, you know, 18 year old girl who's just out of high school maybe. But like when you're trying to deal with somebody like Tori's like in her mid-20s and dealing with somebody who's trying to like, who needs to make some money, needs to make some income, it seems to be a job for them and you create a better space. So the nanny game, check it out. Care.com. you got a little strategy with the video side of this. We've got five minutes for you to tell us some stories about kids and parenting in Europe.

I had an amazing experience with my kids and I thought from Garrett and I, time is a big thing for me and I like to travel and I like to have vacations. To me that's important and I, I feel like there's just, there's like little moments where like I want to like snapshot it where I'm like, ah, like, like just like little moments and experiences that you have on vacation that you wouldn't have at home, that I feel like you can be like, oh, remember when we were in Italy and you had the cute goggles on? And, like, it's like a screenshot in your. Your memory box for life. You know what I mean? And so for me, that's really important, and that's one thing that I fought for in our marriage is, like, because Garrett would be like, I don't need to travel. We live in. We live in a destination location. Like, it's awesome. And I was like, it's not. It's not necessarily just about seeing other things, but it. For me, it creates those memories and a lot of that quality time with family. And so we. We. I feel like I'm always forcing us, but we usually take, like, one big trip in the summer and one big trip around Christmas. And then Garrett and I do little trips, like, probably three or four times throughout the year, just him and I. Like little weekend getaways or little Mexico getaways. Our friends call them sexcations. You can call it whatever you want. It pretty much. Is that.

But is that what it's called? Sexcation?

It's called a sexcation.

Sex cation, which is like, you go on vacation, have sex. Yeah, okay. I like it.

Continue anyway. But the family ones, for me, like, there's moments, like, even in Italy, where, like, I'm looking at my little daughter and she's, like, in the bluest ocean you've ever seen. Like, right next to the Capri rocks, and, like, she's diving in, and the sun's coming in and there's fish, and she's like, oh, laughing. And I just like. I'm like, this is so cool. And then that time when we came back and we're hiking up to our hotel and, like, the cobblestone streets, and it's just like. It's like. It's like you're in, like, a dream in a fairytale, and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, like, fireworks go off. And we're just sitting there in this cobblestone street eating our gelato, and, like, fucking fireworks go off. I'm like. I look at Garrett, I'm like, this is.

This is happening.

I was like, this doesn't suck right now. I said that to you. I looked over and I was like, this doesn't suck right now. We're in a movie, literally. So there's, like, moments like that where I'm like, ah. And then there's also moments when you travel with Kids where you're like, I'm fucking never bringing them anywhere. The stupid assholes don't appreciate it. They're fucking whin. And then I'm like, never, never again.

The fighting and the wars.

Every morning there's like this weird balance of, like, oh, my God, life's amazing and we're in a movie to. I'm never bringing kids again on vacation. But still the good memories outweigh the bad. And I feel like, for me in life, like, think about when you're a kid, like, we didn't travel. I feel like traveling has gotten more cool with social media. Like, when I was little, we drove to St. George and my dad took us fishing in a place called Green Bear Rivers, Snake river, something. But I even remember. Like, I don't necessarily remember. Like, it's not like I remember fighting with my brothers and sisters, although I'm sure that happened. I remembered, like, the moments of, like, being with my dad and fishing or like, whatever it may be, you know, those little moments that you even remember as an adult. So anyways, it's important to vacation to me because it creates memories and time. Okay, you're tired.

No, I was just like, yeah, I actually am a little bit tired. Like, I'm kind of wrapping up. I mean, we're wrapping up this podcast and it's been a long, long day. I've had a lot of training.

I decided you need. You and Ruby need some lessons on how to adapt to the time change. I feel like I'm a rock star at it.

Okay, that's. I appreciate it. You fell asleep at 11 last night. I was up till 1 with both girls.

We didn't even get home till 12:30.

We did not get home at 12:30. Yeah, we got home at a quarter to 12. You fell asleep immediately.

I couldn't even keep my eyes open.

I made sure both girls took showers, got them dressed, put them in jammies.

I made sure they took showers. They were in the shower.

They did not. Bailey was not even in the shower. Okay, Bailey. Ruby was still running around naked.

She was in the shower. I helped her get in, told her to wash her hair. Then I was.

You were asleep.

I couldn't keep my eyes open.

Unconscious, I was managing the kids, and then they got to bed. Anyways, it was a great vacation. It was wonderful. I had a great time. Would I take my kids to Europe again?

Really?

I don't know. I mean, it was great. Here's what I can tell you about the whole. Have some spot, maybe not Europe, you know, What? I would love to take my kids to Mexico.

No. No, no, no.

Yep.

Nope.

Yep, nope, yep.

Okay. That's fine.

Better than New York. Don't even like taking them to New York.

I know, but you know what? I like something new. Like, we experience Europe, but now, like, if we went back, I'd go to, like, a totally different area or, like, I'd. I've always wanted to do, like, a safari with them or, like, I don't know, go to Iceland or Greenland or wherever people go.

Mexico.

No, you need to get out of your mind frame of, like, Mexico is close and close. I don't know. What?

Cabo, Mexico.

No, no.

We'll try a different hotel every six months.

Yeah, but I'm just saying, like, you say, I'm not gonna do Europe again, which I'm like, okay, but I definitely like. I like to try new stuff, so.

I'm happy to try new things.

Continue to push for these memories, and we really go somewhere new every time. I'm not gonna. I'll just plan it.

And you will just plan it. You'll plan it. I'll pay for it.

I told Garrett. He's like, I'm not going to Europe. And I was like, I'm gonna go, and I'd love for you to go, because it's our family vacation. And so he was like, oh, really? You're serious? I'm like, I am serious. So sometimes, ladies, you gotta put your foot down. You gotta put your foot down for what you want in making family memories for life. And just remind yourself when you're on that vacation of forced fun with your.

Kids, at times that you're building memories.

That you're building memories.

I do remember those, though. I had. I had a whole bunch of those memories during this vacation where there were spot moments where it was like, this is rough. It was. It was pretty sweet. Like, there were just moments. Both my kids where. Was there a moment with you? Was there a moment you had with me where you were like. Or was it mostly with the kids?

It was like a family. You know what else was cool and cute? Another memory is, like, Garrett had never experienced, like, how in Italy, like, the restaurants are just, like, out and about on the road. Like, you feel like you're walking in this little neighborhood, and all of a sudden there's this cute little restaurant, like, out on this cobblestone street. Street. And that's so. Like, that's part of the charm. And it was so funny. We went to family photos and we toured this little area, which was super cool. Like, that whole photo shoot was cool to me. It was just towards the end when Ruby was, like, ornery and tired and that we were like, oh, my God. But then when we finally sat down, and we were, like, eating dinner in this little random hole in the wall, and the food is amazing, and there's like.

And you're sitting on the street, and you're sitting on the street, these little tiny streets.

And I look around, and there's, like, this old beetle behind us. And, like, just, like. It was so cute. And just. I don't know, I. It was like one of those. Another one of those moments where I was like, oh. And that's when Ruby. Ruby looks over, and we'd eaten pasta for. You know, you eat pasta and bread for every meal. And she's holding up the menu, and she can kind of read, but not really. I mean, I can barely read the menus in Italian. And she looks. She's looking at this menu, and she looks all cute and official, and we're like, what is she doing? And she goes, number one, pasta, noodles. Number one noodles. And I was like, that sounds good. And then she's all, number two noodles. Number. And she gets all the way down to, like, number 10, and she's like, number 10, noodles. And we all start laughing, and she's like, why do they just have noodles? We were like, oh, my God. We're like, so what do you want, noodles or pizza? She's like, noodles.

Noodles.

So anyways, we're gonna wrap up this show today before Garrett falls asleep.

I'm not falling asleep on this show. I just have a meeting after this show, and then we got this show, and I've done seven hours of meetings before this. So, yeah, it's just, like, a lot of stuff that to do. We're just.

That's how committed we are to this podcast.

How committed we are. I actually told Danielle the show's gonna be 15 minutes, and here it is, almost 35 minutes. And Danielle said, we're not doing 15 minutes. We're going 30.

Well, it used to be an hour, and then it kept going down. And he said, 15 minutes. And I was like, 15 is not worth my time.

Quickie. Quickie Porn star with our podcast. What it means is sometimes we're in a quickie podcast.

Okay, well, I'll let you sum it up.

All right, we are done for this week. Gentlemen, ladies, thank you so much for being here. We hope you enjoyed this podcast and also, you got some tips here with the care.com strategy with video when it comes to getting some other help with.

Your kids mindset and also mindset with hiring help.

Yeah, I think that was valuable.

Yeah.

A little trip down memory lane. We'll do a full thing on parenting and vacations here on the next I'm gonna give you a full tour. We'll even like do some pictures here live and see.

I have pictures too on my blog. If you go to dkwsagging.com I'm gonna do a rundown of our trip places we love, places we more places we loved and more places we love.

So we stay in a lot of places. Yeah, we were all over the place.

It was fun.

Thanks so much for being here guys. We'll be here back next week for our topic of communication for those men who are here in the game and you were looking for a deep dive experience into what we call the warriors way to having it all across body being balanced business like. Learn how to take your life as a businessman to a whole nother level in all categories. Head on over to warriorbook.com or the kingskid.com would love to have you be part of a 30 day journey with us for an investment well which we disclosed over there of $1 billion. No, not 1 billion, but nonetheless. Go check it out. And for all of our hairstylists who happen to be following the show, you can learn more about our hairstyle training company found@bigmoneystylist.com we're done for this week, gentlemen and ladies. Have a great week and we'll see you next week here on the date your wife podcast.