Trophy Wife

You told me it was late, and you're like, why don't you just sleep in the stadium, which is our stadium, in the studio or in the theater? And I did. And the next morning, I woke up to your dad standing over top of me, and he says. He's like, nice to meet you. Just.

We've met you.

Yep. Nice to meet you. And just to know. Just so you know, this is not a hot. All right, my friends, welcome here to the date your wife podcast. I'm here with my gorgeous, stunning, powerful wife, the mother of my four of five children, the adopted mother of my oldest son. And so let's talk about that for a second, because that's been a very interesting ride. I got a. I got a text from Parker this morning, and yesterday morning, he's very excited to meet with our therapist, with his fiance. And I'm excited for them, too, but people don't know that much about the story about Parker, and, well, they always.

See, like, our family dynamic, and they're, like, trying to figure it out. They're like, oh, that's your second wife. I'm like, I am. But I also met you when I was 18 years old, and those four daughters are ours. And because we have a gap, too, and our two older girls are, like, tall and blonde. Parker's tall and blonde. I'm shortened, brown hair. And I just. I look like. And then we have the two babies. It just looks like we're on our. On our second marriage, which we are, but it's like we've been together for 21 years. Going on this year.

Well, and I mean, married 21 years. You've had the moments with. At the mall with Parker and Charlie and had people get confused and thinking maybe you two had the baby together.

They're looking at me like, oh, okay.

Like, it's different. Cougarville, huh? Going to get it at a girl, you know? Well, listen, he has been. He's been like, obviously, he's my son, but I had a whole season of not being with him, quite a few years of not being with him. I mean, the first time you found out I had a son when we were dating. Tell him that story.

Well, first off, when I met Garrett, I. I don't think you KNEW I was 18 or. I didn't know you were 25 or seven years apart, which isn't a big deal now. But back then, like, everyone was like, oh, my God, he's so old. Like, why are you.

I think I knew you were 18.

Oh, cool.

I was like, good. I got seven years. That should mean that I'll be emotionally able to deal with this one.

I just, I just remember we were like dating and we were having fun and I, I ran into somebody at my apartment. We lived in the same apartment complex. Garrett and I met at a Mormon fireside in college. Literally like the first weekend I moved away from home. And anyways, I'm. We started dating a little bit and I'm going, I was leaving to go to your apartment and this girl's like, oh my gosh, you're dating Garrett? I'm like, yeah. And she's like, garrett White? Yeah. And she's like, oh, that's so cute. Did you ask him about his son or said something like, o, yeah, he has a little son. I go, oh, no, no, different, different Garrett. She's like, no, Garrett White. I'm like, yeah. She goes, oh, no, he has a son. I was like, huh? And we had gone on like a few dates. Like, I was like, yes. Really? I was like, okay, I'm not only am I 18 and I already think you're too old for me. I'm like, you have a son. And I remember, I was like, there's no way. So I go up there. I remember you were like making. You loved your George Foreman grill.

I was all about that. George Foreman grill, George Foreman grill. What was that about?

I don't know. You would make like the grossest steaks on your George Foreman or chicken or whatever.

Sh.

There. You're making your awesome food. And I was like, I didn't know how to even bring it up. And I'm like, so, funny story.

I was putting together a chair for some reason, I was in the kitchen. Yeah, you were together some shitty like IKEA furniture.

Yeah. The funny thing is.

And then you ask me, I remember, I'm sitting there, I'm working on the chair and you say. And you kind of do it like.

I'm like, so I ran into so and so. And she said, you, you have a son. And you're like, yeah, I do.

And I'm like, and I didn't, I remember, I didn't say anything else?

No, you go, yeah, I do. There's a picture of him in my room. The funny thing is you were a 25 year old grown ass man sharing a room with another man.

Oh my God.

I didn't think it was weird. I was 18. I was like, cool, whatever, it's college. And I didn't. You had a picture of like a little boy. But I didn't Know if it was Craig's nephew or. I didn't know. I didn't ask. And then you're like, yeah, go in my room and grab the photos. I was like, this is your son?

Yeah.

Yeah. And I was like, cool. I think. How old was he? Like two.

Let's see. He would have been, see, 18.

Because when we got married, he was little.

He was like 23 years ago. So he's like 3 years old.

He was 3 when we got married. So he was probably like just barely.

Like a year and a half, two years old.

Yeah.

I remember he was like, Charlie's age.

Yeah. I was like, oh my God.

Yeah.

And I remember thinking like, the word got out to my mom and she's like, you're dating a 25 year old divorce guy with a kid. And I was like, well, it's not serious.

I mean, it is. I, I think back to it too. The fact that your parents were so actually open and inviting was like, it was really promising. Because like, I, I mean, I, I'm not, I'm not so stoked Ruby comes home with some 25 year old that's divorced with a kid. I'm not, I'm not stoked about that. If she's 18 and that's happening.

I don't remember my parents ever like shaming me for anybody I was dating or ever. They were just kind of like, are you. They would. It was always like a question. I'm like, are you sure? And I'd be like, yeah. And I think they probably thought the same thing I did. They're like, oh, hopefully this won't last. And then when you realize as a parent it's gonna last you, that person starts to grow on you. It's like Bailey and her boyfriend Danny. I'm like, he's kind of first. I was like, kind of awkward, you know, I'm like, now I'm like, I like Danny. Right. And so I feel like that's kind of how it went with my parents is they were like, yeah, like, this isn't going to last. We're not going to worry about it. We're not going to put too much time and energy in it. But then they actually started when they realized it was going to last, I think they grew to like you, you know, and you're, you're a hard person not to like, you're pretty, like social. And like always, like, I remember my mom and you, like, you and Gail just hit it off right out of the, out of the gate. My dad's a Little more like me. He's kind of like just an observer and kind of. You never know what he's thinking or feeling. But he's like.

I don't remember having many conversations with your dad at all. We had two conversations. Yeah, I slept. Had a. You had an amazing theater. Kind of like our theater right now. Like, a little better because the stadium and I. You told me it was late, and you're like, why don't you just sleep in the stadium? Which is stadium. In the studio or in the theater? And I did. And the next morning, I woke up to your dad standing over top of me. And he says. He's like, nice to meet you.

We've met you.

Yep. Nice to meet you. And just to know. Just so you know, this is not a hotel. That's all I said. He just walked out. And I was like. Didn't even know how to respond. I was like, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say to that.

Like, yeah, do you want me to leave?

Do you want me to stay? I don't. I don't know where I'm supposed to go right now.

My dad's like a big teddy bear. Like, we'll literally give you the shirt off his back. Like, literally.

But he's big and scary.

He comes across, like, super intimidating because he's huge.

He's a fucking dude. He's not huge.

He's like.

He has the huge human feel, though. Yeah, he's just big.

He's just a thick guy. He's a thick guy.

Thick man. All right, so Parker becomes part of your world at that point, and then you and I get married, and I am not passionately pursuing that child at all.

I don't. You know what?

I just kind of, like, gave up.

Didn't you. Didn't you leave when he was like, three months old or something?

We had gotten divorced. We got divorced when she. When he was about nine months old.

Yeah. And you. You, from what it sounds like you didn't really like your ex wife. So there was probably so much, like, trauma. Like, it was just. You don't want anything to do with her, including your own son.

Well, I mean, listen, we get married because we wanted to have sex. So that was the Mormon way. Yeah. So we got married to have sex, which was a bad strategy to get married. And then the day before we got married, she handed me the ring back and said, I don't know if I love you enough to marry you, but why don't you decide? And I was like, this Is probably all fucking signs that you should run away. And I was not running away.

I was terrified about having sex. It's like, when you the. It's like, what are you gonna do? The announcements have gone out the dress.

Everyone is already there.

Yeah. You're kind of like, well, it's okay. Like, it's so much pressure to, like, call it off.

It would have taken so much courage to call it off. And I'm so glad I didn't, because then we wouldn't have Parker. So then she gets pregnant in the first month we're married. I get cancer in the first month we're married. We live in government subsidized housing. We're getting wic. I remember wic, which is women, Infant children, which is like a food stamp program. I'm playing football at Rick's college. I have no money, I have no path. And here I am dealing with cancer. Nine major operations on my jaw, surgeons helping me out for free, and my ex is, like, pregnant, and we're both looking at each other like, what the fuck is she?

You went from, like, la la land of, like, just dating to, like, married, pregnant, cancer.

I knew her food stamps. Here's the thing. From the time I met her the first time to the time she was pregnant, four and a half months.

Oh, my God.

First night I met her till four and a half months later.

How long were you dating?

Three months. Three months. We were dating, then engaged. Oh, so not. Not that long. Never mind. So we were dating for three months and we were engaged for three months and married six months and then. So seven months from the time I met her.

How soon did you find out she was pregnant? Like, how long did you.

The first month we were married.

No.

Yeah.

She got pregnant before you got married?

No, did not.

Really?

Yes.

What did she not. Did she not believe in birth control?

I. Obviously not. And obviously I shot a winner. And I had one. I had one boy in me. And it went to. It went to Christy. So then Christy raises Parker and you are. You are wanting me. Like, you were the one that was, like, at some kind of level, like you had some kind of way about Parker from, like, the beginning.

I mean, I always knew I wanted to be a mom. And so for me, I was. I remember because she remarried and she came to you and said, hey, we want to legally adopt Parker. And I said, don't you dare do that.

Yeah, you were aggressive.

I was like, you're not doing that. And I just. I just knew. I like, you're going to come Back later in life and be like, why did I do that? You know, I'm like, you're not that involved now, but who's to. To say where it's going to go? I was like, you're not doing that. Good thing you didn't. Because she ended up divorcing that guy and remarrying another guy.

And it was like. I get a phone call from her. Her ex at the time or her husband at the time. His name's Jeremy. We lived in Vegas. And I get a phone call from him, and I was telling Parker this, and it's like, Jeremy calls me, and he's like, hey, man, I need to talk to you. I was like, okay. And we didn't talk very much. And he's like, I just need to let you know I feel I owe you the respect of it. That. You know, Christy, my. My. Your. Your. Your ex, and now soon to be mine, is having an affair. And I am not going to stay with her anymore. I'm leaving her. She refuses to not see this guy anymore, and so I'm divorcing her. Which is gonna leave Parker in kind of an interesting place. I love him as my son. I've raised him for, like, six months.

They had a daughter together. Yeah. So. And Parker was raised by this Jeremy guy from the time he was a baby. He called him dad.

Yeah.

Yeah.

To the point that I remember. I have a piece of my brain that still calls Parker Parker James White Baker.

I know. Remember that forever. And I was like, that's so weird. Why did they make him sign his school papers, Baker? I'm like, why don't you? Yeah, but it was.

They were trying to adopt him at the time.

Yeah, it. It was a weird situation because she. I felt like she wanted more money, which she should have got more money. You gave her like, $200 a month. Like, it was nothing.

I had nothing at the time.

And so. But at the same time, I was like, I have no problem. Like, whatever you want to do. I kind of stayed out of it. But I was like. But she wouldn't ever let us see him. Like, it. We. Like, we would fly down there a few times, and then it was like, hey, now can we get him to fly to us? And she. There was. She never let's.

Resistant.

Yeah, never. And so I was like, hey, like, you can't. And then she'd bring up money again. And I remember you always having this conversation of like, then I need to see my son. So anyways, it feels like it was this Weird. It was a weird, like, 10 years of, like, the same thing going on. And I was like. I was like, I don't want to get involved, Garrett. You, like. You guys are going to have to, like, figure it out, you know? And then I. I think it was when he. You finally. He was going away to college, and I think you offered to pay for college.

Well, remember we were. We were here in Dana Point. We lived over at Via Corsica, and we get a phone call one day, and Chris is like. Parker's like, yeah, Parker's being wild and drinking all the time and partying and.

Just doing normal teenage.

Probably normal shit. But it seemed it was blown out to be something pretty intense. Now I look at teenage life with the teenagers we currently have, and I'm like, probably is fairly normal.

Yeah.

So she calls me and says, I'm sending him to live with you. And I'm like, awesome. And you're like, okay, if he comes and he has to go to a wilderness retreat and then he can come stay here? Because I don't know, like, anything about this.

I was worried. No, I was worried. I was like, hey, if he's as wild as she says he is, we have two young daughters. Like, I don't want him coming to my house and having now influence on my daughters. We don't get to raise him. Now all of a sudden, he's a shit show. And you're going to send them to me with my two daughters. No, you're not.

Yeah. He was almost 17.

17. Like, you've been so resistant. I just was like, sorry. Like, like, no. Now you want to send him over? No.

Well, Parker tells me that at the time, like, he was using. You know, I'm gonna go live with my dad as a threat and et cetera. And then all of a sudden, Christy called his bluff and said, okay, I'm sending you. And then he found out that he was gonna have to go to this wilderness retreat for two months before he could come live with us. And. And the whole thing backed out. Christy said, no, et cetera. And then the next opportunity came, a senior year in high school, to help support him with college football. He wanted to play at the University of Ottawa. And so I saw my window, and I was like, my way to get back into this kid's life is to buy my way in. And so I did. I literally bought my way in. I paid for school. I paid for everything. Car.

What's crazy? Before that happened and everything was going down. Remember, I've shared this before, and I'VE shared it with Parker, too. I'm like, I had this dream, and I was like. I was like, don't worry. Like, he's gonna come a huge part of your life. You may have not raised him, but you'll help him to become a man. I literally had a dream where we were at his wedding. I saw this cute blonde girl. I, like, I saw the twinkle lights. Like, I saw everything. And I. And I remember in this specific dream having a connection with Parker, like, he was my son. And I was like, oh, that's cool. So then when you were like, hey, I'm gonna go support him in college, and I was like, oh, the chapter's starting. Here we go.

So I fund the whole first year of school. And I told him, I said, hey, listen, I want to support you in college football. You can go do whatever you want to do to figure it out, party, do whatever. I'll cover your first year. We can talk about the next year. But he got one year to kind of dial this in and figure yourself out. So I fully funded him to go. And then he decided about two, three months in that he didn't want to go be at school anymore, didn't want to play, didn't want to have to go to school, wanted to play football, didn't have to go to school. I said, well, you don't have a choice. You want to play football, you have to go to school. And then decides to move to California and work for me. And this is when he's 18, almost 19 years old, and he's been here for the last six, seven years.

Yep.

Like, he's just been in the mix and, like, the fast forwarding game, it's been really up until the last, like, probably two to three years where things really bonded and connected with him. He spent a few years of just kind of in that transition pocket. But now it calls you mom, which I know could be hard at times, I'm sure for. For Chrissy to hear and others like, other.

It was kind of weird for me because I. I always felt like we were like, we're not close in age, but I felt like I didn't feel like I was old enough to be his mom. You know what I mean? And so he started calling me mom, and I was like, that's so weird. And I almost made me kind of feel older. But then I was like, I love that he's trying. And I was like, okay. And I had. So then I had to, like, get in the habit. I'm like. Because I'd be like, I woo to our girls. I'd be like, where's your dad? And then to Parker, I'd be like, hey, where's Garrett? And then. And I'm like, oh. I'm like, hey, how's. So I made, like, a conscious effort to be like, where's dad? You know? And now it doesn't really seem. Seem weird anymore, but. And I feel very, like, connected with Parker and can talk with him, probably. You know, like, I would talk with Bailey. The only advantage is because I didn't race him. I, like, always have his back. Whereas, like, Bailey, I'm like, you're in the wrong. I, like, I feel like I battle more with Bailey, and I'm like, well, it's your fault. Whereas Parker, I'm like, yeah. Like, I didn't raise him, so it's almost like I'd get a play more of, like, a friend role with him.

All right. He's. Well, here's the thing. He's crazy. In the last, like, year to year and a half, I mean, he comes to you about everything. Like, he comes to me, but he.

Comes to you even more than he's a safe person to come to, because there's no. There's less, like, judgment of, like. Do you know what I mean? It's just. He knows I'll kind of say it not as a. Like, not as a mama, more of a friend. Like, so it's somewhere you feel like you can go with without being judged or, like, oh, what are my parents gonna think? It's just. I'm, like, pretty neutral.

I would say, when did you. When did you get to a point? There was a transitionary point, probably in the last year, where we would be out in public or we'd be getting interviewed on a podcast or something would be happening, and they would ask about kids, and you would say, I have five children. Like, there was a transition from. I have four kids, and then Garrett has a son because he's part of the family. I mean, when was that transition for you? Because I remember it happening, and it was, like, very emotional for me because.

I was like, well, because before, he was, like, one of my kids because he didn't live here, but now he's like, over every week. And I just. I was like, yeah, he's one of our kids. Like, it didn't. It seemed kind of natural, you know? And people were like, you've had five kids. I'm like, well, I've birthed four daughters, but we have five together.

A part of you likes the fact, though, like, if you sit there, like, if. If you look at you now, you're almost 41, you're super hot. You're amazing and powerful, physically on fire. And when people see the lineup, I'm like, yeah, these are like, sometimes I'll let people run with it. And I'm like, yeah, these are all our kids. And, like, how many have. And I was like, five. And they'll see a picture. They'll see them all. And they're like, yeah, I was like, 25, 17, 13. 4. And 2.

People think that people are the last two hours.

I know, but I'll be like, yeah, they're all ours. And people like. And they're looking at you, and they can't figure it out. They're like, how old was she 14 when you got her pregnant? I mean, what in the hell is going on around here? 24 was when I met 24 with Bailey. I mean, in theory.

I mean, you had a baby before I did. How old were you?

And you had Parker 22. That is almost 23.

What was your mind thinking?

I was just a young kid that didn't know.

You were a kid that had a kid?

Yeah.

I took our girl to have a kid.

I mean, chrissy was like, 19, 20.

Oh, geez.

She was young. She was. I mean, listen, I feel deep empathy. I don't want anybody to take this show on. On the sense of somehow I have this, like, negative narrative about Parker's mom. I don't at all like her. She got married to this guy named Larry, and they're amazing.

They live here in Orange County.

Christie's funny, and she does what she does, and her and her husband do what they do, and we don't hardly see them, and. But we.

Isn't ironic that they ended up moving.

From Canada five minutes from here.

But, you know, that's. That's cool for Parker because then he can, like, have both of his parents here, whereas before it was, like, United States and Canada. So I will tell you, because him and his mom gotten a little separation for a while, and I would always be like, did you. Did you call your other mom? Did you call your mom? Did you take. Text your mom? I was like, I don't care what went down. Like, to. It will cause you more resentment and pain to not reach out to your mom. I don't care. Who do you think? Right or wrong or whatever. It's so stupid. It's like. It's like my mom and my sister, like, how they haven't talked for like, years over, like, money, and I'm like, so stupid.

Your mom and Rochelle have not talked in, like, three years.

It's the stupidest thing ever.

Life.

I. Yeah. I went through a year where I didn't talk to my sister, and then I realized how much that was weighing on me, and I was like, there's no room for resentment. I don't care. I do not. I have no ego about this. I don't even care what we are fighting about. I'm even happy to say I'm in the wrong because of how much this is hurting me to carry this resentment. It's stupid. So I was like, yeah, I'm not gonna do that.

I just know, as Parker's father, how I noticed when it happened again, about a year to about a year and a half ago, there was a moment where I would see you catch yourself and be like, yeah, I've had five kids. And then I watched it become natural flow for you, and I was like, so I feel for Parker.

I think for Parker, I feel not bad, but in a sense, he was like, I'm the kid that nobody wanted. And I'm like, oh, that's so sad. I don't want him to feel like that he is the kid that everybody wanted, and everybody got to call him his son, you know? So if you flip the narrative like that, I think that's truthfully, like, why he has a lot of. He has, like, a. Yeah. Like, he felt like he wasn't wanted in a way, so I was like, well, that's dumb. He's a part of our family. You know, It's. I. So I don't know. I just. If I just kind of was like, oh, that. I'm sure he wants to be a part of the family. I'm not like, oh, well, I have four. And then my stepson. I'm like, why do I need to say it that way?

Yeah, well, he's like. He is so close to the girls and had so much bonding during COVID Like, spending time with the family. Covid was great for us because it just brought everybody together. I know.

You literally tell me what's happening.

Our whole family is amazing during COVID.

That's what made me have another baby.

I. Covid. I know.

I know. I mean, I know that people are like, oh, you just. Excellent. But it's true. Like, I feel like we were so bonded with our family, and Isla was so freaking cute, and we had so much family time, and I was like, I think I want another one.

Yeah. Covid Was. I mean, some people listen, there were some really negative downside stuff of COVID But one of the powerful things about COVID was it put our family like. We just spent so much quality time together with the kids every night, riding bikes every night, talking every night, hanging out. Parker was hanging out every day, all day. You know, at the time, Parker's trying to figure out if he was gonna actually work or do anything. This is before, you know, he launched as an entrepreneur, but nonetheless, like, here we are. So you're a mom of five.

There we go.

A mother of five. And technically a mother of six. Because now we got Taylor, we got an engagement happening. How you feel about this?

This engagement? It's weird for me to have, like, because Bailey's like, says all the time that she's going to marry Danny. It's.

And then actually wouldn't be surprised if they did.

I know, but it's weird to me to think that I literally have a two year old and then I've got like, kids getting married. I'm like, when did this happen? And. And it's funny because when I look in the mirror, I still feel pretty young and feel like I look good. And so I'll be like, when? Seriously, when did this happen? I feel younger now than I did in my, like, late 20s, early 30s. But my late 20s and early 30s, I didn't eat or sleep and just worked and built my brand and built my salons. And like, I just remember like hustling so much, like kind of like dark years. Like when we first moved to California, I remember I would get the kids up, I would pack their lunches, get take them to school. Then I would go to the salon down in Laguna. Then by the time I got done working at the salon in Laguna and drove back home, the babies were already in bed. I was like, oh my God. And those were so many times that I wanted to, like, quit. I was like, I am being selfish. I need to not worry about this stupid brand thing. I need to be a mom. And then I was like, nope, that's not what I'm supposed to be doing at all.

Well, listen.

And the part of me thinks that's why we got blessed with two more kids, because I didn't give up. I was like, no. So I didn't get to have like. I mean, I had a lot of time with my kids, but it's almost like I missed a little bit of a window. So maybe I just made it happen for myself again. But it was like, hey, I going to make sure you really get, like. Get experience. All that you want out of being a mom.

Well, what's wild, too, was a Bailey and Ruby. Bailey and Isla and Ruby and Charlie are like twins.

It is the weirdest thing ever. Like, yesterday we were going for a walk and I was like, it's. It's almost like twilighty. It's just, like, weird, like, their personalities, like, everything about them. I'm like, we just did. I'm like, we did it to ourselves again. I'm like, either we did a great job or a sucky job. So we got two more.

I don't know. And then you got Parker and Ruby, which are Both born on April 4th. And their personalities are so similar in so many different ways.

Yeah.

This is kind of interesting.

Just have their mannerisms and stuff. I'm like, you two are like freaking twins.

Twins.

And they look similar and they get, like, moody similar.

Yes.

But they're both, like, super easy. Like, it is. They literally see.

Did Ruby go to school today?

No, she's sick. I. She. I. I told her yesterday. She was mad because I didn't straighten her hair because I took a melatonin and passed out. But I was like, you shouldn't go to school. Anyway, she was, like, hacking really hard after volleyball. I was like, ruby, I'm surprised you went to volleyball. But I think she's been so bored.

Yeah.

And so she went. But I told her this morning. I was like, just sleep it off. She's still in bed right now.

Oh, really?

Yeah. She's.

Wow. Did she stay up all night?

I don't know. I just.

She just might have.

She. We got her next box for her.

Birthday, so she's been playing Fortnite.

There's a good chance she might have.

Been up on Parker used to do the whole time.

Yeah.

So we're done having babies. And now for the very first time, you've gotten to consider being a grandma.

No, I think. I think now that I'm done. Okay, that's true. But I think what I've come to realize, which is, like, fun and scary all at the same time, is I was like, oh, we're entering a new chapter of life. We're entering a new season. Right. And it's just. It seems weird because we're entering a new season, but we still have babies and toddlers.

Well. And you've come to terms with the fact that you're not 21 anymore. I've seen you claim it in the last, like, three to four months. You finally came to terms the Fact that you're a hot 40 year old.

Well, I watch. It's funny though, because I watch videos of even my first YouTube videos. Even my voice has, like, gotten more mature. Like when I first started my videos. Like, hi, you guys. I'm like, why am I talking like a mouse? It's like. And I'm like, okay, today we're gonna. And I don't know if it's just reps on camera or certainty, but I literally feel like my voice has dropped.

Yes, it has. It has dropped. Like I. Mine's dropped too. I think that there's a game of maturity that happens as a communicator, as a coach, as a trainer.

There's a certainty.

Yeah, yeah. That comes and the voice drops. There's a new tone that shows up. Yeah, we were just discussing this with all of our trainers at Warrior, like, last week. How there's a literal tone that drops with people as they mature. Yes.

Yeah.

Less like heady, like, oh, my God, we're gonna do it.

I don't know if that happens for guys, but yeah, it does.

Like, there's a definite drop if you go back and watch my videos from like six years ago, five years ago.

You had a weird voice.

Ten years ago, same thing.

Hey, guys. Your boy, Garrett G. White.

Your boy, Gary D. White. Oh, that was Isla going outside with Ruby. So, like, this. This shift, though, with kids and going to the grandparent phase has me. We were sitting and talking on Sunday with Parker and Taylor about getting pregnant and how they want to get pregnant and how they're actually down, both of them, to have a baby in the next two years. Like, they're down. Yes. They were sitting there for an hour talking to me about it like they're down to have a baby.

And I'm like, they just think it sounds.

I don't know if it sounds romantic so much is that just like all couples, they know they need a change up in the relationship, and a baby definitely does that.

Well.

Well, you're gonna be a grandma by 43, Grandma Danielle.

True. But I like your enthusiasm.

You will be.

That's okay. Because I actually really like babies.

I know. That's why I'm saying what the heck? But I think it'll be funny. I keep having this moment where I envision us, we're watching a baby, our granddaughter, and our granddaughter is hanging out with our daughters who are like 4 and 4 or 5 years old, and then like 6 or 7 and we got all like, who is this? Oh, you guys got another baby now. That's our grandbaby. It's just like.

It's like anything is possible when you're raised Mormon and then also living in Orange county, you just. There's lots of dynamics of families that intertwine together, I guess. Remember in college, I had two roommates and they were. One was the aunt.

Yes.

And I was like, wait, you. They're the same age.

Yes.

And she's like, yeah, this is my aunt. And I was like, wait. She goes, my mom was a teen mom and my mom got pregnant accidentally pregnant. I was like, that would be wild. Like, if I was like, say I did have another baby. Like, me and Bailey randomly got pregnant next year. That would be. Or like, me and Taylor even got pregnant next year, which would. Could be possible. Like, I remember, like, after you got sniffed, I was like, good thing you did that, because, like, I love babies so much that, like, I think I'd get. I'd get on tequila and talk you into something.

There's a couple times. There was like, several times that had I not been snipped, you for sure would have got pregnant.

What's wrong with me?

Because you were like, please make me pregnant. I was like, this is not happening. I'm snip. This is not going down.

It's a good thing we did that.

There's not. No way. Speaking of which, getting a snipped completely altered energetically our sex life.

We had to stress about it anymore because I didn't ever do birth control. And so it was just like, there. I would always track everything. So, like, I knew like, the window down to, like the day.

So, I mean, did you notice. Have you noticed, like, a radically different experience of sex, though, with not being stressed about getting pregnant?

I think you're less stressed.

I'm way less stressed.

I was never stressed. I'd be like, it's fine. It's not the window. Like. But I think. Yeah, you were always.

I was always stressed. I was talking about this yesterday at the park. I was pushing Ida on the swing. We rode our bikes at the park, and there was a guy there pushing his kid, his daughter, and he. They just had baby number three. Like, and their baby's like five months old. And then they have like a two and a half year old. And then they have like a four and a. Or four and a half year old, five year old.

Oh, those are the couple. I was like, why?

Yeah, they're like, right close to each.

Other that have kids like two years apart. I'm like, you sweet soul, you deserve a Special place. After this.

We only did. We did that with island and Charlie.

I know. And I see people that have, like, four or five kids and they're all like, two years apart. And I'm like, can I pour you a margarita?

Like, it's a lot.

It's a lot.

That's a lot. Well, I'm sitting there pushing. He's pushing the baby, and then I'm pushing Isla. And I asked him, I was like, are you done? I was like, that's a lot quick. And he's like, I don't know, man. He's like, my wife is always up to the women.

Yeah, she's.

I think she'll want another one. I was like, really? How do you feel? He's like, man, at this point, I'm just, like, playing zone defense. So Mikey's like, if she wants another one. And he has all girls, too. But as we were sitting there, we were talking about having these, having babies, and, like, being a young father and, like, he's. That's his oldest. His oldest is like four and a half, five years old, but he's just starting talking about having another baby is like, man, listen, at this point, he's like, we're in our 30s. Like, we're just. We're having babies, and we're just surviving. I was like, I know. It's complete survival. The fact that any marriage can last through all these pregnancies is incredible.

I know. I feel like, though, like, it's been hard for me, but since I'm a little bit older and I work. But it's not because I have to work. I enjoy working. It gives me purpose. And. But I also am like, really? I. I. I like having the babies and having help. And it's really hard for me because even with Charlie, I'll be like, oh, she's my last one. I should want to get up with her every morning. And every morning I'm like, love you, Charlie. I want to go work out. We have a nanny that comes every Single morning at 7am she helps me get the kids up. She helps me get their lunches packed. She helps me take them to school. And when I say help, she does most of it. I just am there, like, kiss them and hug them and snuggle them. And I realized, like, men that do this, they get up, they do their thing, they go to work, they. They don't. They don't feel bad. They come home, they play with their babies hard. They love them. There's not even a chip in them. That's like, no. Oh, I feel really bad for going to work out and headed to work.

Yeah, there's none.

There's not. And I was like, kay, I already did this one round. And I was like, I'm not going to do that again. I'm like, I have a nanny every single morning. And it's like, it's like fun. It's like, I'm like, I still see my kids, I still love them, but I have somebody else in the house taking care of them.

Isn't it wild how there's such a guilt driven narrative around getting help and yet once you get help. And you were the one that had made this decision with me, you were like, listen, we're doing two new babies. That means we're starting over. When all of our friends kids are graduating from high school, we're gonna be rocking elementary still with two more, and we're gonna do life different. We're not gonna wait until we're.

I couldn't do it again. I was like, I cannot go at this pace. The thing for me though that I, I'll realize with my kids is like, I'll make a conscious effort how you and I would go on a date night or whatever and things like that. I, I can tell when I'm spending more time with my kids and I'm more bonded just same as with me and you. Like, that's why, like, when I go when I've been spending a lot of time with them and I go to leave, they almost miss me more. Like, mommy, don't go. Because I've spent more time with them that week. So even though I do have help, I make a conscious effort to do like lunch date with my kids or sit down and read stories or even if we have a nanny at night time, I'm like, hey, I'm gonna put Charlie to bed. I haven't done that in a few days and I want a snuggler, you know? So for me it's like, I just, I like, I want to be able to like be a mom, but almost it's like if you're a grandma, you're like, faster, pass your baby back. Except for it's my kid and I got a nanny. I'm like, okay, I got to snuggle. I'm gonna go, yeah, I'm gonna go hot tub now. Like, whatever, you know. So this is hard for a lot of women. It's been hard for me to like adjust to having help in the house all the time. But I don't think I could do it without it. Because one kid's got volleyball, one kid's got to go to school. You know, like, we've got a teenager driving. Like, there's just too many. I'm like, how do moms do it? And I've talked to a lot of moms who, you know, they might have a little bit of help, but they literally are, like, running carpool all day. They're like, I just like them in the car all day.

Yeah.

I'm like, that sucks. Really bad sucks.

And on top of it, then a lot of them are not running. You know, they're not running large companies.

Yeah.

So, like, add the company into the mix. Add the kids into the mix. It's just.

I just realized how valuable my time is. So I only do the shit that I truly want to do, which means if I do want to take Ruby out to volleyball or if I do want to take her out to ice skating, it's because I want to talk and connect her and have that time. If I have something else that is more that I need to get done, I'm like, hey, love you. I'll see you tonight for tacos.

So we're going to wrap this episode up with the following idea, and that is that you are create whatever you want. You're gonna be in whatever reality you choose to create with your family, period. Like, you, you, and you alone. Not your mom's storylines, not your friends, not your neighbors. There's you, and then there's your kids. And your kids are specific to you. Your family's unique to your path, and in that place of your family, you get to make the rules. And your rules can be absolutely different than somebody else's and still completely find divine connection in it. We watch it happen in our house big time. Our kids are more loved now and able to receive more love 24 7, because of the teams that we have, plus ourselves, that when we show up with our kids, they get the best of us. They get quality time with us, not just, like, busy time. And I watch parents who are just in busy time all the time. And I get it. Our kids are constantly in a game with someone who is all in.

I like giving the nannies, like, authority. Like, I'm sitting her down here having lunch with the kids. But I got to jump into another call. So the nanny sitting there, and Isa's talking, and. And she's. I was like, mom, can I have this? I'm like, ask Heather. Ask Heather. Like, I'm like, mommy's here, but I gotta go. Jump on a call. So it's like making sure when you hire help, like kind of giving him that opportunity to, to show up in a certain way where your children respect, respect them as well. And it's cute because every time the Heather goes to leave, Isla's like, love you, Heather. Like, you know, so it's, it's like fun for me to watch, you know, someone come in and help raise your family. But if you think about it, that's how it used to be done. It was never one mom. Like, it was like multiple moms.

Tribe.

It was a tribe. And so I'm like, I got my own little tribe. And I'm, I'm, I can't, I don't have any desire nor do I have the capacity to do it on my own. And I want to live life for me and have fun.

So there you go. Check it out. Dateyourwife.com because every single week, a group of couples just like Danielle and I get together and have a conversation around the warriors way and also have a conversation around this idea of parenting and dealing with kids and sex and intimacy. So listen, you don't have to do this game alone. If you follow us, if you're listening to us, if you've been inspired at any level with this, you can check it out by going to dateyourwife.com on top of this that call, we also have a membership for free. 30 day trial found@warriorlaunch.com, where you can get access to the Date youe Wife experience as well as our Warrior launch protocol, our software tools, all of our training curriculum that tens of thousands of men and women are using right now, today to live predictable power and purpose every single day in their lives, individually and in their marriages and with their kids. So check it out. WarriorLaunch.com Danielle has a new blog out. Tell them about the blog.

I started a blog. Well, the first brand I started was called DKW Styling. It was a blog. I actually built a brand of hair extensions incorporating fashion and lifestyle and things like that. So I stopped blogging when I had two kids, back to back. And then we lost that domain and I realized how much I like, enjoy sharing, whether it's like fitness or fashion or family or whatever it is. I realized how much I enjoy sharing that. So I relaunched a blog. It's called Danielle K. White. You can check it out by going to daniellekwhite.com so that's it.

This week it's over. You got kids. It's a circus. And as you can tell, we're going to be constantly open about our circus and our five children here at the White Castle. My friends, that's it for this week's episode. We'll talk to you next week.