Unlock Success & Manifest Your Dreams: Top Strategies for Entrepreneurs Facing Life Transitions

Welcome to the day. True I podcast. My name is Garrett J. White, your hostess with the mostest. That's you. You're the hostess with the mostest. We are back with the show. This week, we are solo. We had some guests. They decided they didn't like our political views and decided not to come on the show. I'm just fucking kidding. That's not what happens. Everybody loves my political views on everything all the time. I'm politically correct.

I feel like you just say stuff people are thinking, and then they're like, he just said that.

Yeah, that's how it works. If you don't say what people are thinking, then you end up saying.

It's like you say they're thinking, but then you really take it over the edge. Like right off the cliff.

Yeah, that's exactly where it needs to be. Right off the cliff. Into the place of change and transformation.

Okay.

In the spirit of change and transformation, we have some announcements to make.

This should be like a. An announcement show, because I don't think we've actually talked about what's happened in the last month.

Where would you like to start? You want to start with the house?

Yeah. So if you're first. If you're just listening to this podcast. Garrett and I are entrepreneurs. We both run separate businesses. We have five kids. We went from literally nothing. Selling furniture out of our house, brink of divorce, to here in Orange County. $30 million home, multiple businesses, five kids, two dogs.

Technically, 24.6 million.

26. How many?

24.6.

24.6 was the final. So the story is the house we're in was kind of like our. Our dream house. We were like, we've made it. We've made it to the top. We're good. And I'll let Garrett share the rest of the story.

Oh, really? That's what you're gonna go over? Top. We're good. And then hand it off. Listen. We have followed an intuitive spirit inside of us from the very beginning. After we lost everything back in 2008, and then spent about four years trying to figure out who the hell we were as people, Danielle and I started on a path starting in roughly 2012. I launched Wake Up Warrior. Danielle launched Natural Beaded Rose and DW Styling, and those two brands continue today. Along that part was the pursuit of our big vision. 2013 or 2016 was a collision. Let's go back to 13. In 2013, we moved from Arizona here to California, and we came to a beach called the Strand. We'd never been to the Strand before, we had no idea where we were. We didn't know anything about this place. And there was nothing but this development, now currently known as a Strand at Headlands, which was all lots. And we looked down there with our kids, our two older daughters are the same age as our current youngest daughters, and asked ourselves a question at that time. Who would we have to become to have us live in that place, in this neighborhood and have it be normal and natural? Now, at the time we had. We're still looking at wounds coming off a loss of big companies still paying debts, still dealing with millions in whole still trying to figure things out. And we did. Boulder Brands took off over the next decade and we ended up in our dream home here at 9 Oceanfront. I can say the address because it's all over the place. It's all over the Internet. You can take a tour on it. Just google 9oceanfront.com 9oceanfront Lane, and you'll see exactly what our house looks like. It's a castle. It's beautiful. It's amazing. And Danielle manifested this house and we got it four years ago. So we purchased this home during the last series of elections. And then a couple weeks ago about.

Oh, that is weird. We did purchase it during.

We'd already moved into the neighborhood at a home a few houses away in 2017. And then Danielle made a decision for us and I agreed with it. And she said, we need to make a move on that house. Right as Biden was becoming president and Trump was now out.

But we timed it.

We did. And we felt the prompt again. Sitting at Coastal Kitchen at dinner, Danielle was mind fucking me.

I was just sharing my truth and mind fucking. I was just sharing my vision.

Yeah. And I connected with it just like I did the first time. And she said, we need to sell our house and move to Miami now. Okay. People are like, oh, are you in economic crisis? Not at all. Are you in financial pressure? Not at all. So what's the move? Why are you doing it? Because we felt it was time to go now. It's wild because this home we thought was our dream home. I was gonna have this home in my family's name for.

Yeah, we were like hundreds of years. We literally were like, we're gonna have our kids be like, we're have our grandkids in here and we're gonna keep it forever.

And that didn't happen.

No.

So when you get prompted to make moves like that, how do you know? How do you know we should do these things? Because it's the right Move. Everything's laid itself down. First person that came and looked at our home, made a cash offer, and now we're selling.

And I'm a big believer in, like, entertaining possibilities instead of shooting them down, so. And you know what, though, that, like, even then, like, I remember when we were. We kept going to Miami a couple of years ago to, like, Grant Helena's events and stuff. And every time we would go out there, I was like, wow, I love Miami. Like, something about it. But I didn't really even, like, consider moving there because I was just like, no, we got our dream house. Like, we're good. Like, why would we go to Miami, if anything? I remember I was like, hey, do you want to get a second home eventually in Miami? Like, that'd be so cool. And it just kind of, like. It was just kind of like, sat on the back burner. And then, I don't know, like, for some reason I was just. This house is a lot to manage. Like, I'm. I'm not going to lie. And I got to this place where I love it, but I was like, if I was called to go somewhere else, would I go? And the same thing happened at 3 Ocean Front. I remember literally sitting in the pool, and you. You were out of town, and I'm sitting in the hot tub. And if it was like, the voice came to me again, and it was like, if you have somewhere else to go, would you go? And I just simply say, yes. And then when I say yes, that's when I decide to entertain possibilities. So first the question comes. Is this intuitive, intuitive messaging from God, source, whatever you want to call it, that asked me the simple question. And when I answer yes, then it's also my responsibility to take actions towards that yes. So at Three Ocean Front, when he. When I got that question, it was like, yes. And I was like, what does that look like? Then when this house came available, you were like, oh, there's no way. Like, this house is, like, at least twice the size of our last one. And our last one was kind of our dream house, you know? And so. And I remember walking by this house thinking, like, oh, when our kids graduate high school, like, that's the kind of home I want to be in. Like, that was where I was at. And so for me, it was like, okay, you said yes, but you have to take the actions to manifest this. So it's like, it's entertaining a possibility. So for me, I'm like, well, what does it look like? I don't like when I get to that place. I don't accept no. I'm like, what does it look like to get to that place? So I'm like, ask. Just simply asking other people questions. What are they selling? What are they doing? Is there a possibility? And then I think that when you entertain that and it. And it happens so smoothly, then you're like, wow, I'm sure glad I said yes and I took the actions towards manifesting this because now you and God work in favor together, and that's how things happen quickly. So I'm. I've had this happen a lot of times in my life. And so I've tried to become a better listener at this. And it. Everybody has the ability to do this right? Even I think I got the seeds when we were going to Miami, but I wasn't ready, so I pushed it away. How many times do we get prompts? But it's also about who you are and where you're at in life that you finally say yes. And I wasn't ready two years ago. I wasn't the same person. I am. So when that prompt comes again and you're ready, you're. You now can hear it more clearly. And so for me, like I said, I believe that everybody has this ability to do it. And it's scary, but oftentimes we abide by rules that are not working because it's a plan and it can. It's scary to uproot your family. But also, like, I was like, we put this house on the market. The first people that came in made an offer, and it was a pretty good deal and it was a cash offer. And I was like, okay. So for me, it's like confirmation of, like, okay, it's running smoothly and this is where it's going. And even everything inside of, like, our businesses, it's, like, scary and it's unfolding and it's. Things are being exposed right now. But I also know that this needed to happen. And so it's. I think a lot of times it's. It's. It's hard when you're comfortable in abundance. I know that sounds crazy, but a lot of people, they, they. They have like, super yachts and they get. You can even get super comfortable inside of abundance. And so you're like, well, what's next? I gotta find my purpose or my passion. And I'm like, not necessarily. Maybe you just have to have the ability to say yes more often, because when you do, you don't know who you're going to become and who you're going to impact.

So there's a. There's a chance in this to. To make a decision. My experience of you can make a decision to say yes and move forward when things are in a shitty place, which is what most people wait for. Most couples wait for things to get really shitty. And then they say, okay, now I have enough pain that I can go do something. But the hardest place to make a decision is when you're in abundance and everything's really good. To let go of something's great, even great, and leap for something more. And that decision is way harder. Which is why most people buy into retirement, or they buy into the lie of sitting and staying and holding pace and it's good enough. And then you surround yourself with people who look at your life and say, your life is beyond anything I could imagine, or your life is amazing, or you guys are great. And now you start to slowly slip into where I call the king of the shitheads.

I. I agree. I agree with you at some level, but also too, even with our life being really, really good, there's a piece of me that was like. There was a piece of me that was in pain. And it was like, you're. You're bigger than this. And I'm like, I'm bigger than this. What do you mean? This house and everything. I'm bigger than this. But again, it's not necessarily about the house and cars and things and that will come. But it was almost like I got the message that I need to keep going and it's not here in Orange County. And so for me, I was in a. Even though with the abundance we have, I was in a piece of pain where I literally felt like my soul was dying because I was stagnant. And people get to retirement level and that's not a thing. It's. It's just being stagnant and nobody will be happy when they are stagnant. It leads to addiction and depression and so many things. You know this and I know this. And then you end up doing self sabotaging things to give some excitement in your life. And what happens is then you end up on this loop of doing the same shit to kind of create momentum in your life. Entrepreneurs do this all the time. They burn shit to the ground because they're like, well, I don't have any purpose.

Yes, the build and burn process is real. That's kind of where I was getting to. So it's great you tied it together. So without burning it, we decided to just let it go. And that's. That Process of letting go versus burning is a very different process, a very different experience. It's very different emotional game. It's a lot harder to make the move even when you. Even with your abundant. But if you look at your world, even though you might have been hurting inside, there was a hurt inside. The world around you supported you in abundance. Meaning there was no urgency to go. There was just a sole desire to go, but that was not being compelled by an outside force. It wasn't like, you have to go because you're out of money. You have to go because your husband left you. You have to go because your kid had a child die. You have to go because something. There was no have to go because of any of that. There was a decision to go because we knew it was time for our souls to grow again, which is very different. And this is a place that most people aren't willing to go and most people are not willing to choose and they're not willing to step into because it's a lot scarier. It's a lot scarier. That's why if I'm climbing up a ladder and I'm at level six on a ladder and I'm being asked to let go of six to go to a nine, there's no sacrifice. A level nine life is so much better than a level six life, even though you can't comprehend it. And everyone that you know is a level three. So everybody level three is looking at your level six and like, why would you do anything different? What's wrong with you? Do you not know where you live, what your house looks like, what your life looks like? Why would you uproot everything and go? We're like, oh, because you're a three looking at a six and we're six reaching for a nine. But a lot of people won't make that leap and jump to a nine because they're terrified they might fall back down to a three. And so for the fear of falling back down to a three, they won't leap for a nine. We've just been people who have been willing to go from a 1 to a 2, a 2 to a 3, a 3 to a 6, a 6 to a 9, 9 to 18 and 18 to 36. And we just keep jumping. And so people watch us and watch our situation. I mean, the one helmet that we have, we may have a lot of elements, but one of the elements we have is we have the courage to listen to this voice and go. And we've been doing it for over a decade.

I Think, though. But like I said, sometimes it makes sense and sometimes it doesn't. But then when you make that move and it starts to make sense, it's confirmation that you're like, okay, I've got to trust this intuitive thought or feeling or whatever it is and go with it.

There's a lot of trust in it. That trust itself, though. You and I think part of this is you and I getting a fresh start as a couple of things, because we've gotten to a new place as people, individually and collectively, and yet there's still a lot of triggers from the past that are here from when we were working through things. Yeah, because being in a brand new environment allows for none of the triggers to be there and allows us to create something new together that we haven't been able to create yet.

I think it's too. It's like a piece of my identity is going to be left in California.

Mine too.

It's wild. As I was working well, I guess I don't know if I should announce about the salon, but, like, that's like a piece of my identity where I was like, told, like, you need to let it go. Like, you need. You're a hairstylist. But, like, this part of me that didn't wanna let it go is because it's a piece of my identity. I worked so hard to get so good at my craft, and then even though I'm not, like, actively at the salon that much, it was just like a piece of me that was like, let it go. And I think when you can let go, you actually are surprised by the opportunities that you see.

Yeah, we had to let go of some team members in the last 24 hours, we had to let go. We let go of a salon in the last 24 hours, we've let go of people who were close to us. We let go of them. And again, all of this because we had to leave. The entire leaving principle and found in the Bible, in the Old Testament, in Genesis, all through Abraham's journey was always giving three simple instructions. Which is, one, you have to leave your country, which is the world that you built. Two, you have to leave your family, which is the relationships that you built. And three, you have to leave your father's house, which means you have to leave the traditions that you've established, your traditions and the people and the world that you build. All of these are both the opportunity and they're also the obstacle. So we're letting go of what was an opportunity and is still an opportunity, but letting go of what could become an obstacle in order to reach for something better. Now, in the spirit of manifesting, you made a comment one time.

One time?

Yeah. One time. He said to me, you said that I built you to be my stripper. That I manifested this, that it was my word.

You built me your stripper?

You became the stripper I always wanted.

I did not say that.

You did say this.

I was like, you built me to be a stripper?

Yeah. Like, meaning that I willed. Like, you were part of it, saying, listen, I was pursuing my sexuality for myself, but a part of it was you. And your desires were pushing for this other version of me to show up. You've done the same thing to me.

Yeah, well, it's interesting because, like, I. I feel like now who you are right now, like, physically, like, is like how I've kind of always seen you. So it's fun that you're seeing yourself in that light and you feel more powerful. And so I'm sure it's like, the same with me. Like, you. You always saw me as, like, being sexy. But then when I, like, knew it for myself, it's even more attractive. You're like, oh, they see. They see themselves. I see myself. You see yourself. And in turn, we can see each other and have a sense of respect and gratitude for the person that you've built and I built and that we helped almost, like, build each other in a way.

Do you believe that all women should send scandalous pictures to their husbands?

Yeah.

Why? I agree. I think they.

Why would they not?

Why.

Why did some not do, some not?

You didn't forever.

Oh, just because I didn't like you.

So who are you sending them to?

Nobody. When I was in shut off mode, I was like, I'm going to put my head in the sand and work and be a mom. And I'm not. I'm not even worried about sexy photos. But. But at some point for myself, I was like, God, I don't want to be shut off my whole life. I'm like, cute and sexy. And in my 20s, at that time or early 30s, I was like, okay, so for me, when I made this shift, it was. It was like, almost like, I'm gonna do this for me, and maybe the next guy will benefit. Or maybe this guy will benefit. Sounds so dark.

So you were warming up, sending sexy pictures to me just in case. Just in case you had to introduce your game.

It was just. It was almost like, I've never done this before. Okay, like, whatever. Let's see what happens. But It. Yeah. And also, I think it's like, you don't want your guy's mind wandering, so you gotta, like, give them some content to think about.

This is why I love you. You're absolutely accurate.

I am accurate.

I know. Well, listen, one of the strategies we have for the guys do is. Which is a challenge because women, A. Women are very uncomfortable to do this, which is. We're like.

Well, that's because they're uncomfortable with themselves.

Of course, if you get. If you had a choice and I had. And let's. Let's say I'm on a road trip. Okay. I'm on a road trip. I haven't seen you for five days. Sexual energy is high. Not going to cheat on you, not going to hang out with other women. But I'm definitely horny. Right? We got options. Options are FaceTime sex. We haven't done that a lot.

Well, you just can't send a man out to war without emptying his bullets. So that's a bad analogy. Because he needs bullets for war.

No, no, he needs bullets for war. He just doesn't need those bullets for war. Let me take that cartridge. Give me your whole cartridge.

If you have a guy that's like, traveling a lot and stuff, like, I didn't get this forever, but now I'm like, oh, he's gonna be gone. We gotta, like, fill his bucket.

Phil's bucket is way more appropriate, but not as fun. So I like. I like. I like, strip him of his ammo.

Okay. Strip him of his ammo.

Okay. So. So to pull that off, you can FaceTime sex. That's one. A lot of couples aren't comfortable with this. The other one, though, is that guys. When guys are gone for a period.

Of time, podcasts turn into this.

You manifested it. You did. I felt your manifestation podcast.

I thought we were talking about, like, really spiritual manifestation, but now we're talking about this is.

Sex is spiritual. So let's go. So anyways, you're coming back. You got content. It's like, it's going to happen. A guy's either going to go to porn, he's going to masturbate, some ideas in his mind, he's going to end up. Not all guys are going to do this.

Does he want to think about his wife?

Guys want. That's the deal. Guys want to think about the wife.

What if he doesn't think his wife's cute?

This happens. Then he's probably gonna go to porn or do something else.

Then why is he with his wife? Obligation.

Well, why were you with me? You were turned off by me for like a decade.

I, I was with you because I was, I was hoping it would turn around, but.

Okay, maybe that's exactly what the guys are thinking.

Yeah. And I think it's, I mean, once you bring kids into the mix, you're just like, it's so hard. Like anybody. I used to be like, oh, don't stay in the relationship for the kids. But, but that's almost like if, if your relationship is medium, you'll stay in it for the kids. If you're like in a super scary, abusive relationship, you're not going to stay in for the kids because at that point your life's in danger. But like a subpar marriage, women and men will stay in for the kids.

Most they, most people will do.

They will. And they just, they're just like, this is, this is the standard. This is what I chose. I don't want to rip apart my family. Things aren't great, but they're not horrible. So they, they just stay.

But if I put on 150 pounds of muscle. If I put on 150 pounds of muscle, I weigh 300.

You'd be like a hulk.

380 pounds of muscle.

So gross.

Couldn't even fucking fit through the doorway. Be massive. If I put on 150 pounds of fat.

I mean, are you, are you making more money?

Oh my God. Did you just say that? You just justified the complete stereotype of.

All the game all girls are gonna.

Hate with a fat hairy dud chains if he's got money.

I was joking. Clearly. You guys, that's not. Of course I would not stay.

All comedy comes with a sliver of truth. Okay, so, so you, no, because at.

That point, like, you, you see this so a lot where couples, like somebody's growing, whether it's like physically growing in a bad way or like just not growing, you can see the drift in the couples. So at that point, if you've put on £150, like we haven't been having sex for a while, we're already disconnected. So like, at that point, we're just going to part ways. We're going to part ways because I'm super fit and doing my thing and you're doing your thing and, and I don't believe if, if you gain that much weight. There's also something going on in your business. There's also something going on in your, your personal life, your personal development, your self worth, everything. It's not just about like, I decided to eat Twinkies every night. Like, there's something in you that's, like, dying, and your body is manifesting by putting on this weight.

And so to be a comprehensive thing. Yeah, yeah, okay, I see that. Okay.

So we would just drift apart. I would slowly be like. And that's why we always say, like, you can't be, like, tugging your partner along. Like, it can be push and pull where you're like, you're motivating me and I'm motivating you, and, like, maybe I'm taking the reins and you're taking the reins, but if you have somebody who's, like, on a potential perpetual downward spiral or somebody who's, like, heading vertical, you're just. It's not going to work. And you're just going to be in this place where you're like, I've got to go different direction. And at that point, if you, like, the other person is going to be too powerful to. To. To. They're the ones that are usually going to leave. So if you put on £150, I'm going to be the one that's going to leave because I'm going to feel too powerful and vice versa.

Yeah, I'm gonna. If. If that. If that occurred, you're absolutely right. All the rest of the things would be falling apart, too. I mean, it's potentially. You could still make the money and still be 150 pounds overweight. But I don't imagine at that point, too, a guy starts. Stops feeling. Stops feeling good about himself. I know that because I know guys like that.

Yeah.

On the flip side of it, I've had. The reason I'm bringing that question up is because there's some guys in my world who. We were having the sex talk, which we do a lot because it matters so much to the guys.

Talk about.

No, it's like half the things we talk. Half we talk about.

You run men's group. And I'm like, do you spend half a day talking about sex?

Yeah.

Cool.

Yeah. Well, you gotta understand, like, at the end of the day, even like a guy who's producing powerfully, at the end of the day, he wants to be wanted and desired sexually. So, like.

But what is he doing? Why is he. Why is he not setting himself up for success then?

With what? By being fat guy?

By. By putting on weight or not providing or.

Oh, yeah, I get that. That's all part of it. Right? So. But we got some guys that are. They're very. They're good producers and they're they make, they make great money. They are in marriages that. With good women who care about them and care about the kids. Sexual energy has been real rough with them. So then we're trying to work through, like, why, what's, you know, what's going on. And a couple times happened three times in the past two weeks where a guy flat out says the following. Coach, I don't even know how to tell you this. I'm like, what? Like, I'm just not turned on by my body. Like, I just, I'm not. I'm like, okay, well, what's happening? He's like, she's like 80 pounds overweight and it's real hard.

She just have a baby, though?

No, that. But a lot of this happens during the baby time and they just don't have to take it off. So then they, They've been post, post last baby. The one guy I'm talking about, they've been post baby like 8 years.

I think some guys don't care about that though. But some guys probably do. If it's like a super fit guy who values his body, he probably cares about that. But I mean, because I, and I, I didn't know how I was going to be when I had kids. And I remember when I had my. Our first daughter and I think I gained like 50, 60 pounds. And I remember just like looking in the mirror and I'm like, well, that's not okay. But that's just the standard I held myself to. Like, I was like, I don't feel like me. Like, I'll do whatever I need to do to, to get rid of this. And it's not even that I wasn't like, allowing myself some grace for having kids. Like, in fact, people were like, oh, you're fine. Don't worry about it. Don't stress about it. And I was like, no, I don't feel like me. This isn't me. And so I figured out how to lose the weight. And I. Like, some women, I, I don't know, they don't care. And some, the men don't care, you know, I mean, but if you're a fit dude and your wife is like, keeps letting herself go, like, I mean, I, I would, I wouldn't be. Maybe. I can't say that I was gonna say. I wouldn't be offended if you were like, hey, can I get you a fitness pass? I mean, I don't know.

I remember when you were pregnant, you were right when I think you got pregnant with Bailey and you've been talking about Doing a fitness competition. I bought you fitness magazine.

Oh, I was a little offended. Yeah.

And I bought you, like, workout gear.

I wasn't pregnant. This was like.

And you were super offended. You were like, I can't believe you'd buy all this for me. But that was a long time ago.

It was a long time ago. Yeah.

Now you'd be down with it.

Yeah.

A bunch of fittest stuff now. Yeah. But, like, that's the point. He was like, well, what do I do? And I was like, well, are you attracted to anything about her? He's like, yeah, man, I love her. She's like, amazing. But it's just hard because she doesn't have any confidence in herself. He's like, am I. I'm not happy with her body. He's like, dude, she's like 80 pounds overweight. Like, that's. That's hard, man. It's like, it's just hard. And these guys are typically fit guys, and so they're having this hard time because around all these hot fit women all the time, and they're being stimulated online by hot fit women, and then they're with their wife and they want to love her, but she's not putting any effort to even try to change it at all. It's almost like she. And.

But I would say you. Here's the thing, though. If she's not feeling confident, there's got to be. You just have to be careful with how you approach it. If you're like, hey, babe, I got you a fitness magazine because you're looking kind of chunky, it's not going to go down well.

Right.

But if you're like, hey, I wanted to check. Check in on you. Like, how are you feeling? Like, physically, like, where are you at? And just. Because if you. If I. If I'm tiny me and I'm 80 pounds heavier, I'm going to be like, yeah, it's been really hard. Like, I don't. I'm stressed. I'm this and that. And like, I'd be like, how can I help support you? Like, I can tell this is. You don't feel like you. How can I help support you?

Right.

You know, and then, honestly, like, I think it just really comes down to the girl has to make the decision for herself. Like, it is very hard, and it takes an immense amount of discipline and momentum to lose baby weight. It really does. Like, I'm a psychopath. But I. I also know because I've done it four times. I'm like, hey, it's not that Hard. It's a science. And so I don't get stuck in the mind frame of like, oh, I have to live my life like this forever. I'm just like, okay, I've got to like, buckle up to, to lose this, this weight. And I just needed to be disciplined. And what I love about discipline, because people are like, you're so disciplined. One of the things I love about discipline is if you give it time and you start to see results, it's like, it's so much easier to continue on these discipline habits because you start to see results. But most people don't give it enough time to actually see enough momentum. So they just do this weird. Especially women, they just do this weird yo, yo thing. They're like, I ate really good Monday through Friday. And. Or they'll even be like, oh my God, I had a three week streak where I, where I ate so good and I lost six pounds. And then they think they're done. I'm like, well, what's your goal? Like, well, I really need to lose £30. I'm like, well, then you, you don't go on and off for three weeks. Like, you can't do that. But I get it. And it's. And it's really hard. But like, like I said, like, I'm like, I can make, for me in losing weight, I'm like, I can make this drag out for nine months or I know what to do and I can have a shorter amount of discipline for three to four months and get the results that I want. And so I'm like, why would I drag this out for six to nine months, 12 months, 18 months, like, whatever it is, when I know I can do this with an immense amount of control and discipline in literally three to four months, Every single one of my babies, including the one that I gained with, well, Isla, took me a little longer. Cause I gained. I literally, I remember going to the hospital and I jumped on the scale and I was like hitting 170. I was like, wow.

Like, that's had a baby in you.

Yeah, but I mean, I had a lot of water retention with her, but. Yeah, but I. Even with her. It took me like six months to lose it with her. But then Charlie, my last baby, I lost it in like three months.

Yeah, she was a smaller baby. Yeah, you were more. You were coming into fitness too. So like you're.

I knew what to do. Like I had, Yeah, I had been into fitness competitions and so I educated myself. So I, I mean, I get it. And that's Like, a sticky situation for the couples. But it really just comes down to, like, It's. What's hard is, like, the. The woman is telling herself these stories, and it's not that I did it for years. And the minute I just, like. I'm like, I'm so tired of tolerating this in myself that I'm. I've got to figure this out. And so it just came down to, like, educating myself on fitness, on macros, on. To get the results that I wanted. But. But prior to that, I had these, like, wild stories of, like, you know, how I had to get back into shape and my first two babies. I just, like, didn't really. I just counted calories, you know, but even then, I had to educate myself. And I was reading labels and, like, I'm like, hey, if I eat this many calories a day versus this many, you know, so.

Well, listen, there's one guy. The one guy I'm thinking of. There's a lot of conversations I've gotten into. The one guy I'm thinking of. He said. I said, well, do you. Are you attracted to her? He's like, no, I know.

That's such a sticky conversation.

I can have sex with her. He's like, but I'm just. I'm not attracted to her, dude. I just, like. And it hurts. He's all. Breaks my heart to say it. He's like, listen, I want to work on things, but. And then I gave him an example or somebody. He goes, yeah, and Danielle's hot. As I was, like, she's physically banging. Like, look at her. Of course. Like, yeah, that's who you're with. Like, that's not who I'm with. I'm with this woman that I love, but she's let herself go, and I don't know what to do, and I don't know how to help her, and I don't know how to help her get out. He's like, but, dude, I can't spend the rest of my life with a woman like this. Like, I. I deserve more than being in a relationship with somebody that can't.

Have this hard guys are so. Yeah, it is. It's like.

It's like, this is a discipline thing. And he's. And then the hard part is. And that he's all. Anytime I say anything about it or, like, start to bring it up, I'm shamed for having the feelings and thoughts. And then if any women here, I get completely shamed because they're like, you're such a dick. And Da, da, da. And he's like, dude, the last baby was eight years ago. Like, I get. I give you some space for a couple years to get yourself back, but it, like. And the comparison I look at is this. Like, if, like, if you were 100 pounds overweight, like, I love you to pieces. I do. But I couldn't do it.

Yeah, well, I think too, like, I love you.

You're my soulmate. I couldn't fucking do it because it would just. Because just like your example, though, it would. That would be a screaming symbol of lack of discipline in all of your life. It's not just going to be your body, because that's going to be a catalyst and start causing lack of confidence and certainty and all these other things, which means the whole world around you is going to start to, like, have this energy of lack of discipline, lack of commitment, lack of structure, lack of value in yourself. Yeah, when you're super fat, you don't value yourself. People hear this and they're going to fucking hate it. And it's the truth.

I.

You're super fat. You do not. You do not love yourself. And we come from a culture being raised in Mormonism where people don't drink, they don't smoke, et cetera. They just get fat.

Yeah, they eat a lot and they eat a lot.

And I'm like, well, like, eating is.

A form of sedation.

But if you flip the script, women divorce men for not making money.

Not always.

It happens all the time. A guy stops producing, can't make money. Women. How long is a woman supposed to.

Stay in that environment? Like, if, like, even for us, when we were having, like, rough, rough times, I was like, I started trying to produce because I was like, oh, I gotta do this on my own. Like, I. I had emotionally, like, disconnected from you. Like, I didn't feel safe and secure, but I was in it for the kids and at that point in our life. But I was. I definitely. That was part of when. When you weren't producing. I didn't feel this, like, ripping the safety and security underneath. Like, I don't feel like you can protect me anymore.

Yeah.

And it's not to say that, like, people get so weird about this topic because I'm like.

Because it's truth. It's hard truth, but.

But I think they get so weird about it because it's like, there's this whole boss babe that's like, I don't. I don't need a ma', am, man. I'm like. I'm like, you guys I know I can produce on myself, but I have no issue saying I want a man to take care of me, that I want a man that I feel safe around. And that comes with financially producing for me and my family. So although I can want all these things for myself, because I want them for myself, I expect them out of you as well. Like, I would. I would. I wouldn't. It would be really hard. Well, I never would. I would never be with a man that, like, didn't make money, like, at some level, you know, because that's, like. That's part of being a woman and being safe.

Well. And that's your standard, right? That's your standard. Like, you asked me a question. We were dating. We were engaged. You said you were like, oh, after you have babies. You know what? I just let myself go. You know, it's kind of what moms do. And what I say, I can't remember.

But I was, like, really shocked because I was, like, never. People think I was, like, athletic. I'm like, no. I was, like, super artsy and nerdy in high school. I, like, yeah, I was a lifeguard, but that was just more for the tan. Yeah, but. But it's funny. I didn't become athletic until after I had kids. And I remember my sister. I was like, I've got all this, like, flabbiness, and she's like, oh, you gotta work out and eat good now. I was like, what? But I remember when we were dating, you were like. I was like, yeah, you know, after you have kids, and you probably, like, you're just. You get. You know, you're gonna gain weight, so it's fine. I just, like. That was, like, the vibe. I was like, it's fine. Who cares? Your mom. And you said something. You were like, no.

Like, I was like, whoa, whoa. You were like, no, no, that's not how it works.

What's so funny is I was dating you, and I remember thinking, like, my mom was like, why are you dating this guy? He's gonna be, like a high school teacher. Like, they don't make any money. And I was like. I go. And I remember telling my mom, I go, oh, no. If he continues down that path, he'll be, like, coaching for the top, you know, college football team. I was like, I'm not worried. So part of me was. My standard for you was I was like, I'm this guy. Even though you had nothing, when I met you, I looked at you as, like, the potential of who you'd become. And I was like, oh, no, this guy is going to take care of me.

People say you're a gold digger. All you care about is the money.

They don't say that.

People say this on the Internet.

No, they don't.

They do. There's an entire Reddit campaign say I'm Sean Whalen showed me. They think that you're just a gold digger.

Maybe you're a gold digger.

She's a gold digging bitch and if the money was gone, she'd bail. What do you think about that?

If the money was gone, I would bail. I've already been very clear about that. So the rumors are true. But you know what? Okay. The first time we're just.

You told me that we're going off the show up. Let's go.

The first. Okay, but let me get sound clip.

We're going to play that right there.

Listening and let me give some context around that. Geez, a cold hearted bitch.

So our team's recording right now. Don't even know if they should laugh. They're like, I'm not sure if we should laugh right now. If this is inappropriate.

Let me get some context behind that.

It's a little serious.

So when, when we, when we had our two kids in the market crash and we lost everything, the only reason I stayed with you is because I had just had Ruby and I was like, I'm a hair, so what am I gonna do? Yeah, right. If, if, if that was taken away, plus how disconnected we were. Wasn't just about the money. We were super disconnected.

Yeah.

What would I. No connection. And you're not providing. Why would I stay?

I get it.

The only reason I say it is because we just had our second daughter. Now it's crazy because even though you lost it all, like I made a. I almost made like a pack with myself. I was like, this will never, ever happen to us again. So if at any point in our relationship or our marriage, I think the ship is sinking. I still think it's the women's responsibility to help the man rise and to get clear. Because that's the thing I saw when we lost it all. I saw the ship sinking. I saw all the red flags. I was the one paying the bills and I was like, I need more money. Like I could. I had like a pit in my stomach because I was like, we're not going to get out of this. But I didn't speak my truth and I didn't say anything. And I was super young. And so although you were the provider, I watched the ship sink and then wanted to Blame you.

Yeah.

And so I take a full responsibility for that in myself and that I could see all the red flags and just pretending as I was driving in my Range Rover that was about to get repoed, that everything was fine. So when I. So when I. If. If we're at a point where we've lost everything, it's not. You've lost everything. We've lost everything.

There you go.

Because I'm a piece of this equation.

Yeah.

So anyways, now, like, if I ever see things that are shifty in the business, or I'm like, ooh, I'm getting, like, this direction doesn't feel right. I think it's my role and responsibility because I'm also a provider inside of the relationship to help navigate the ship.

Do you know, you know. You know Kendra Jennison, Mark Jennison's wife? So she did a video on this in their podcast or did a podcast on this about being a gold digger. It was fucking brilliant. You want to hear? She said, and her hook was beautiful because she's like, yeah, I'm a gold digger. All women are gold diggers. They should be gold diggers. And of course, this started a shit show underneath this thing of comments, because nobody fucking listens anything. They just listen to headlines. Then she goes on, she said, listen, as a woman who loves her man at the deepest level, she sees the gold in that man that he cannot see most of the time. And it is her moral and spiritual obligation as a partner in this relationship to mine and dig the goal out of this man. So, yeah, I'm a gold digger. All women are gold diggers. They should be gold diggers digging the gold out of their husbands. Now, the problem is a lot of women don't want to do the work of digging. They just want to go find somebody who's already been dug.

Yeah.

So we got already been dug gold diggers, which. That's not even gold diggers. That's just gold receivers. They didn't even dig shit.

Yeah.

So we're now going to frame the game of gold digging, which is like, you actually have to mine it out of your man. That means every man has gold in him, and every woman has been given a shovel by God to dig. Dig, bitches.

But here's the thing. Like, yeah, I would say even if you marry a guy that already is successful and has money, you still see. You see something in him. Right? And so I do. I believe that it's like women's responsibility.

You see something, and it's called power. And Money.

Yeah. But even then you see like even more of who he could become.

Well, even at the first sight, I mean, a guy on that track. Listen, there's dudes that are very attractive. Guys in their late 40s and 50s who think you are just amazing. And there's men all over the place. I watched that happen when we were in Greece. Two very good looking men, both very successful, both had their eye on you, which was great. All within like two hours. I don't have a problem with it. I think it's fantastic. I love that you get seen for who you are and how beautiful you are. But the greatest part is in those situations, like these are powerful men who have resource. Women have been drawn to powerful men who have resource from the beginning of fucking time. This is part of the genetic code. So at some point as a man, you have to come to terms with the fact that you are an ATM machine and that is your fucking job.

It's sexy though.

It's your job.

It's sexy. It's your job if you have two guys next to each other and they're both good looking, but the one is like uber successful and like charismatic. Like you can almost like physically see it. Like it's just, it's just sexy.

Yeah. One's driving a 1983 Corolla, the other one's driving a Bugatti. Chiron's wearing sweats from Target and the other one's wearing a $10,000 suit. Yeah, of course you can see it, but it's the energy too. It's a certainty. It's the way they walk, how they talk, how they speak. This is why I'm telling you. I'm just going to put it out there, okay? I am telling you there are more high value men. Let me put it this way. No, no. There are less high value men available in the world than there are high value women.

There are ways.

There is a surplus of high value women. There is a deficit of high value men. By default, the high value men do whatever they want because the demand is exceptionally high for that man. Because there's less of us. Us guys. Yeah, it is. We're like fucking diamonds. Real expensive pink diamonds.

There's less of you, so you have more options.

No, there's less of us. There are less of us, so the demand for us is higher. Demand for a high valued have it all. Free man is way higher than an average dude. But I'm saying there's a lot more powerful women who are at that level as women than there are Guys. So like one guy, 20 high value women, one high value man. The dudes are falling apart. Men are fucking falling apart everywhere. Going around the world. I'm like, the fuck is wrong with dudes? Like married dudes, single dude, just weak. And the generation coming up are like fish handshakers split and all the thought process of, like, we should split the bills.

Oh, yeah, we should split the bills.

What the fuck? When my son said. When our son said that, I lost my shit. Well, she should be paying half the bills. Like, son, you're 25 years old. Shut the fuck up, get over here and sit down. We're having a talk right now. What are you talking about? Now, I love my son, but that's the generation he's become up with now. He's kind of gotten himself straight with it. He's got himself straight.

Yeah, but I get it. Like, when you're young and you have no money, you're kind of like. And women today are just like, they.

But I didn't think that growing up.

Yeah, that's not how we were raised. But now that's like totally normal for people to kind of like, almost like split the bills. But what it does is it takes away the masculine and the feminine roles. It's like, hey, now we're all equals. And it's so funny, because we're not all equals. Women are way better.

Way better at all kinds of shit, for sure. Making babies, cooking food.

Here's the thing, though, is in this attempt to be equal, what is equal? Men don't possess the things that women can do, and women don't possess the thing that men can do. You're trying to compare apples and oranges. An apple's never going to be an orange, and orange is never going to be an apple. It's a stupid thing to compare to. Say we're equal. We're equally powerful in our own roles, in our own ways.

I think we're. I think we're equal or it's not the same. We're different. Right. So if it's like, I know, but you'll come in and you'll say something like, but. So we're not. We are equal. We're equal in, like, who we are, God's call upon our lives, et cetera. But where we're not equal is. Is. We're not. We're not. We're. We're not is. We're not the same. So, like, I'll handle some of the girls. And you're like, whoa, don't talk to them. That way. I would never do it that way. I was like, you have a vagina. Of course. You would never do it. Way that I have a penis and testicles. Of course I would do it this way. They don't need two mommies. They got a daddy and a mommy. They don't need two. Two mommies. So you do it your way as a mommy, I'll do it my way as a daddy. Because they need dad energy just as much as they need mom energy. They need both energies. But this game of, like, I'm gonna come back to this topic here because. Loop it back around.

I'm waiting for the loop.

No, I always. I never miss. I never miss. I'm a fucking professional. Come all the way back to this. Back to the fat topic. Okay, look at this way. If I stop making money and providing for the family, I create insecurity in you. You do not feel safe. You do not secure. Feel secure, and you will not feel seen. You can't feel seen if you're not feeling safe and secure.

And then you don't feel attracted to.

Your man, which means the marriage ends. Okay, flip the table. If a woman becomes obese and a man is fit, and I'm not saying fat dude, fat girl, they both need to work on their shit. So that's a couple things. Let's go, guys. Come on. But when you got somebody who's fit, and it could go the other direction, too. A fit girl, fat guy, like. But I think there's a lot more forgiveness going the other direction for some reason. Yeah, I see a lot of fit, beautiful women with pretty fat dudes because they.

They.

Can feel seen, safe and secure, and they don't care about the garage over his cock.

I think that they. They think they have to choose. They're like, well, I. I have to either choose.

I like the garage over the cock. Is that what you're saying?

No, they went on their way. I mean, that's defined. Like, if you're a little soft, like, that's fine. But if you literally all. If you. If you get to that place in your body, like. No, that's not.

Like, if I took my shirt off and I just smacked this side of my body and a little wave rolled across my belly and around my back and back to this side.

No.

Would that turn you on? No, of course not. Wouldn't fucking turn anybody on. I'm sure there's somebody that's turned on.

I mean, I don't think I could do it.

I know you couldn't do It. What are you talking about? I'd end up having to put deodorant in all my rolls and in my armpits. That's a lot of deodorant in one day. That's a stick a day just to keep myself from stinking.

But I would say the standard for. I would say men marry up in looks and women, they. They would. They feel like they had to pick. They're like, I'm okay with him being like a little bit of a fatty because he's got a lot of money. And I.

This for sure is what women will do.

Yeah.

Men will go the other way.

Yeah.

That's why you say, I'll be better. They're better. They're like, she got a nice face and nice tits and ass. I'm. She's kind of dumb.

This is really bad, but I'm going to say it.

She's a little dumb, but she's hot.

Okay.

But she's kind of a bitch. But she's hot.

You know what is wild is you'll see a girl with maybe a guy that's a little bit less attractive than her, and you're like, no, not a big deal.

I think that happens most of them.

But if you. Yes, then that's okay. But then you see, if you see the. If you look at, if you flip it. If you seen a super fit, attractive man and you meet his wife and she's not attractive at all, you're like, huh?

Yeah.

It's like, why is that okay, though?

I don't know. Is that society? Is that.

I think it's just society because it's like, like I said, you're like, wait, like, I can see that. Because, you know, you just assume like, oh, he's, you know, he's taking care of you. He's paying the bills. Maybe he's got money or like, whatever.

If a hot girl rolls into a restaurant and she's with a dude who's definitely overweight and he's not that good looking, you assume the assumption is he makes money.

Yeah. And you're like, oh, that's fine. Good for you.

Good for her. Good for. On a cruise.

You're like, good for her and good for him. You're like, hey, make money. You got a hot girl. And you're like, hey, you're hot. You got. You got the money.

So what's the idea? The other direction?

The other direction? I don't know. I think it's like almost like.

Yeah.

I don't know, maybe the guy has his Own. Maybe she makes the money. I don't know.

Maybe that is. Maybe she is.

Maybe she's a sugar mama. She makes the money.

She makes. She's a sugar mama. And he's. He's the sugar. What do they call it? Baby. Can he be a boy then? Be a sugar baby?

Sugar baby? I think so.

I don't know. I don't know.

No, I think sugar babies.

No, I think sugar baby's just for girls.

Yeah. Yeah, it is.

Okay, so here's another question first.

Boy.

So we've come to terms with this then. Guys have a certain level of our ATM machines. Girls are what, baby makers? No, prostitutes. Let me explain my theory. Here's why. Check it. We were sitting at dinner with a whole bunch of my guys. Very smart guys, all Wall street guys, all bankers. They're funny. And this was not recently. This was a couple years ago. And one of the guys came in and he had gotten divorced, and he was talking about all these hot girls he was dating, but he was upset because he always had to buy them shit. And then another guy was talking about. He said, dude, I don't even try to play that. I just hire prostitutes. Way easier. Clean transaction. Everybody gets. Everybody's clear about the terms of the agreement. And then one of the married dudes and all the couple of married guys were like, I can't believe doing this. Can't believe. So and so. I'm not using any names because they're all good friends of mine. One of them was like one of the married dudes getting upset. And our other friend is like, what? How could he go do that? Get a prostitute. And then there's one dude, he's sitting in the corner. He's hilarious. Just imagine, like, super stoic, super Jack Black guy. It suited up, just solid, human. And he's not saying shit the whole time. And he's just quiet. And he goes, boys, I think we all need to come to terms with something here. In the end, we're all paying for sex. Well, you tell me your wife doesn't spend a whole bunch of shit just. And half the time you're hoping she's just going to put out after she buys it. I was like, it's no different buying a handbag for your girlfriend. Your side piece, your side chick, your wife. It's like, it's all the same. You're still paying for sex.

And you know what? Women know this even when they're married, because they'll use it. Like, if we're in, like, Bora Bora or wherever we grease. And I'm like thinking like, oh, I really want this handbag. But I know what I'm going to have to do.

It's not even after.

It's not even after.

You started, you've started doing it smart though. You start. You've gotten real smart. I do pregame.

I do a real slow pregame. Way better plan then. I know you're like butter and I'm like, what about this one? But what about this one? In fact, you, this last trip were like pushing me. I was like, oh, I don't need that, babe. And you're like, you need this.

Our pregame was solid.

That's what you got to do, ladies.

You cleaned them.

You just need to do a really good pre game to get what you want. People listening to this. What the fuck are these? We're just saying.

No, we're talking about all this stuff that the behind the scenes conversation of men and women is this raw. But having it in public and then having it with your spouse is a totally different situation. This was me and Keith were talking about this yesterday was the thing that you and I have that Keith and Jesse have and so many rising number of couples have is they finally are finding the authentic truth to talk about the dark and light desires in their mind and the thoughts of darkness and light thoughts in their mind. They're having free flowing conversation where actual truth is spoken, not filtered. Not trying to free frame it, not trying to like be tricky with it. It's just like, hey, here's where, here's where I'm at, here's what I want, here's how I feel. You're like, here's how I want, here's what I feel. And we're like, cool, let's meet in the minds, let's talk about it and let's see what we can create instead. There's a lot of gaming going on that's not like seduction game, it's like hiding the fucking truth game. I don't really feel these things. I don't really feel these things. It's like if you line up, if you line up a hundred guys, hundred Christian dudes, and you said, how many of you have had thoughts of a threesome? Step forward now. Now, if they were under the code of truth and they had to speak the truth, guess what? 100 fucking guys would step forward. 100. Not one fucking guy has not thought about a threesome. Every man that walks the planet has thought about threesome. Muslim dudes, Jewish dudes, Christian dudes, when they're honest. Now on the flip side, if women were given the same permission to slip, we already know you girls think about all that crazy shit too because you get obsessed about books like 50 Shades of Gray. We went to go see 50 Shades of Gray one time sitting in the theater. It was me, Danielle, 700 women, lots of wine. And I sat and watched all these middle aged women just living out their sexual desires, watching. What's the name again?

Gray.

Mr. Gray.

Mr. Gray. Yeah.

That guy had some game.

That's an old. That was a long time ago.

It was a long time ago. Okay, so we know then. Terms. I'm an ATM machine. You're a vagina at the core. These are some core fundamental needs that exist in relationship. I think it's, I need your vagina. You need my attention, machine.

Yeah, but it's, but it's like sticky. Like I would never get. Like, because I can. I know how to make my own money too. Like if my other needs are not being met, like, I'm like I'm. I make enough money where I can go do my own thing and like. So. Yeah, but that's the thing is I'm like, even of me making money, I still am. Like, I've told you this before, I'm like, you better make 10 fucking X more than me. Yeah, I'm like, I'm sorry. Like, and that might sound really, really bitchy, but like, I don't want to feel like I'm in competition with my husband when it comes to producing. I want to produce because I enjoy that piece of it. But even then I'm like, I feel like I want to stay in my feminine. For me to stay in my feminine, I got to feel like that's primarily your role, which it is.

It is nearly impossible, not impossible, nearly impossible for a top producing woman who 10x produces more than her husband for that woman to drop into full respecting feminine submission.

I think I do pretty good to the guy.

You don't make 10 times more than me.

I didn't say that.

You just said you think you do pretty good at that. That would mean you make 10 times more than me.

No, no, no. I feel like I do pretty good at staying in my feminine.

You are, you're doing better at tube. Over and over and over the last couple years it's been fantastic. And I'm doing a better job of staying on my masculine and not being a reactive asshole, which is helping a lot. Would you agree?

Mm.

Okay, so listen, all of these topics we're going to keep DJing around and we're going to keep playing because these are the topics that come up at warrior events with great men when no women are around. Now the question is what conversations come up for women when men are not around? You went to Powerhouse event. You were hanging out in Arizona with.

A whole bunch of different groups.

Boss girls and a bunch of other whatevers.

I would say when I'm talking to like students or friends or anything like that, I think that women want their men to be masculine, but sometimes they meet them with masculine. And I've said this on a few other shows. It doesn't matter if you're working or you're not working, if you're managing a home or if you're managing your kids or you're managing teams. There's this element of like kind of this masculine energy that comes with it. There's times where I'm like doing stuff with the kids all day and you think, oh, she's just a stay at home mom. Being in her super feminine. I'm like, no, I'm like organizing and planning this and doing that. And I'm like, it's hard. Like being a full time mom is. It's, it's a, it's a job. Like, I joke around all the time. I'm like, I don't think I could just do that. Like, it's. I almost think like, it's. That's as hard as it's hard. And so I feel like it's.

You're running a company.

Yes. Somebody of kids, but that's what I'm saying. I think it's just like, it's important to understand, like, you ha. Like, I want you to stay in your masculine. I want to stay in my feminine. But even if I wasn't working, that's still like a role that you have to balance with one another.

The big balance game. So the sex game is a topic that is never gonna go away. And part of that is the physical side of sex and the other one is the financial side of sex. Like, all of these things allow for stability and safety to be there. Like, if you're not attracted to your spouse, it's not just about their body. Because let's give another example. I remember sitting at a party in Gilbert, Arizona. Gilbert, Arizona? Yep. We're going way back to Shamrock Estates where there were no shamrocks and no estates and we had no money. We were just trying to figure out went to a birthday party with Bailey to the park. I remember this. For most of my life, there were A bunch of Barbie girls there. Like, big boobs, tiny, skinny, nice clothes, high heels, prancing around, Barbie doll. I don't know, some birthday party at the park. Same ways the girls, there's the moms. Like that, like, physically pairs, perfect look. Physical appearance was just, like, stunning. Then there were a couple women at the party, One of them, which I don't know why, there was a Latina girl and a black girl. For whatever reason, Black women and Latina women just own their shit. I fucking love it. I think it's great. And it was demonstrated this day perfectly. Both these women, much thicker, curvy as shit. Both these women. And one of them was her daughter. Her son's birthday that we were at, et cetera, was a Latina woman. And both these women's energy was just like. Just so much feminine certainty around these women. And I remember having a distinct thought, looking. And I go. My brain tells me I should think those two girls, for me, are hotter. I remember thinking this. But everything in my energy is like being seduced into the vortex of feminine power. And it was sexual, too. And I was like, what is going on? It was the certainty in these women. So although we're sitting here talking about body, too, you can be. How many bodybuilder dudes do I know that look like fucking just. And then I talk to them, like.

And they're, like, really insecure.

You're a pussy, dude. Like, nothing about you resonates. Like, anyone should follow you anywhere, including any woman. But, dude, you look just reject. Great job. So the body isn't enough.

Yeah, there's a certainty. Yeah.

Now, you wanted to get back down to the way that you have right now for one reason. Well, a couple reasons. But what's one of them?

I might just feel most like me and you. It's funny, because you're like, I like you all sizes and. But I just like being.

You got a range.

I got a I. And you know, it's not the same.

105 to 140.

I would not be one.

I know, but I'm just telling you. You got. You got hall plastic.

No, but I have, like, a range for myself. But no, like, there's a range for myself where I just feel like me. Like, I feel. And I. You see, to me, you're like, I like you all sizes. You're like. But I can tell you, like, yourself this size. I'm like, yeah, it just feels like me.

Well, that's.

And that gives me more certainty and confidence. And I feel like I can Walk around and wear anything. I'm not, like, insecure about anything. I'm just like, yeah, it looks cute.

Well, listen, when we were in Paris and you were. You were. You were bumping. I was.

I was heavier than you were.

You were thick and awesome, and I loved it. Listen, you have a hard time getting your ass in your jeans. I loved every single time.

But here's the thing. I went from being, like, stuck on.

The top of your jeans. You're balancing. Everything in me is like, please, can we just stay here for a while? Because this is very.

I went from doing all these fitness shows, and I just got to this place where I was like, I don't care anymore. And I. I didn't. Then I, like, I have my range. I put. I put on probably, like, 10 pounds, which on my frame is noticeable. And then I was like, oh, my pants don't fit. Time to reel it back in. But I feel like that's normal.

I'm just telling you got range. I think there's even times when you're pregnant where I'm just like. Even with a baby, I'm just like, oh, my.

Because my boobs are huge.

Because your breasts are huge, your ass is huge. I'm just like, this is amazing. I love it. So I think, again, the whole physical piece will put a bow on this one and go to another topic, the physical sexuality piece. Like, your body matters. But at the end, here's the part. Here's the bow on top of the whole thing. You could have the body and still not have the certainty that brings attraction to marriage.

Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

So it's not just a body. But what I have noticed with men is that when men are more fit and more jacked or they're more in shape, they have more certainty in themselves, in business and in marriage. More certainty in the bedroom. They're not worried about taking their shirt off the pool. If you're a dude that's embarrassed to take your shirt off the pool, you got some work to do. That's it. If you're embarrassed, take your shirt off the pool. As a dad, you got some work to do. You should not be embarrassed about taking your shirt off. Now there's some guys don't give a fuck, and that's okay. That's pure certainty. They're like, don't care. Happy with where I'm at. Love it. Not trying to lose any more weight, not trying to get jacked, not trying to get shredded. I feel good where I am. And those dudes are fun. To be around.

Yeah. But I think everybody, like, has a point where they're, like, less tolerant of that. You know what I mean? Like, Even, like, even big dudes. I don't say fat dudes, but even fat dudes have their range. Like, they're like, oh, I'm fine at, like, 240, but then, like, 270, they're like, okay, now I'm.

I've lost it.

Now I can't have sex very well.

Well, now I gotta decide if I'm. Tuck it in.

Yeah, exactly. So even big dudes, there's this place where they're like, oh, okay, the. Too far. Everybody's got their range.

Yeah. Okay. Well, we tied the body piece up.

Okay.

So let's come over to change. Sometimes in order to grow, you have to prune.

Yeah.

After my first marriage, my first divorce, Parker's mom, I got a job working on my grandpa's orchard. And I did something I was not qualified to do, but they taught me how to do it, which is prune trees. And all day long, 10 hours a day, I would listen to Body for life by Bill Phillips on a tape player. Maybe it was a CD player. Might have been a tape player.

Principles are still really good.

They're real good. That book's even better. When I go back and read it. It's one big personal development pitch. It's awesome. I didn't see at the time because I had no clue. But, yeah, I would say I'd listen to Bill Phillips body for life, and I would prune trees. Crazy part was, if I prune too much, the tree actually dies. If I don't prune it enough, the fruit doesn't grow. So it was a perfect place. My grandpa was, like, trying to teach me how to prune. Yeah. Trying to show me how to prune the trees. And my dad had tried to tell me how to prune the trees, and I finally got it nailed to where it was perfect. Pruning. So marriage requires pruning, family requires pruning, business requires pruning. And we just pruned a bunch from the business.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're going there. We're on it.

We're going there. One of these names. We're just going to go there.

Yeah, it's. It's been. It's. There's been some. I think the. The move to Miami has really just. It exposed things that I needed to do probably a year ago, But I was kind of in, like, autopilot, and autopilot is not a good space for me to be. And I realize I'm like, if I'm not, I think because I've grown so much that.

You're growing a ton in the last year.

Yeah. But even as, like, an individual and a person and what we've gone through and kids and life and I, like, I've. I've grown so much. If I'm stagnant for too long, I literally start to get super. Like, I just get anxious and depressed and, like, I sedate and I just. I'm like, okay. So I know that's like, a really scary space for me to be in for too long because. Because naturally, I'm very much, like. I'm, like, on fire a lot. Like, I'm, like, very passionate, and I'm like, just want to go, go, go, go, go. Like, the high of life is, like, so fun for me. And there's been, like, seasons where I'm like. I don't know how to describe it. You just literally have, like, this natural high and. But that you can't do that all the time because at some point when you're running that fast, you're like, I need to, like, chill for a second. And so. But then you can't, like, chill for too long. Like, if you sit there for too long, like I said, like, you literally are stagnant and you start to regress. And so, like, for me, I literally, like. Because we. We. We got this house and I had, you know, Charlie, she'll be three in December. It was just like. I thought it would be, like, a longer chapter. Does that make sense? And it was like, it. It was like, okay, you stay put for a minute. Enjoy this for a minute. And I'm like, okay, I did. But then it was like, this last probably year and a half. It's like my soul's like, you gotta. You gotta go. Like, you gotta go. And it's scary because I'm like, it's scary. And it's fun because I'm like, wow. Like, God has such big plans for me, you know? Like, he wants me to become even more. And I feel like I've worked on myself a lot, but I'm like, oh, he has even bigger plans for me. So that's, like, super exciting and scary because I feel, like, super unqualified. But I feel like that's how everybody starts to become qualified. You have to dive into whatever it is. So I feel like even though I kind of built my hair empire, it started to almost implode because I'm meant to go bigger.

Yeah. Well, we had to prune.

Yeah. So we're pruning.

So we pruned, and we let three key people go yesterday. And then we had a decision to shut down the salon in Laguna and open back up a boutique in Miami. And the salon here in Laguna is going to end. And we had that meeting with our girls today, and we let them know and gave them a chance to play with us and to help launch them. And then we're pruning away a bunch of the way training's done. We're pruning away. We've been pruning for the last few years.

We have to. Literally, we've just been sitting in this, like, autopilot, and you can't grow in autopilot. And so a lot of people stay in autopilot because they don't want to make the scary moves. But when you start making the scary moves, you're like, I have to do this to get out of autopilot and take my business and my family and everything to the next level. So I don't even look at it as, like, taking my business. Like, I'm taking our family. Like, I'm. Everything's going vertical.

Yeah.

And I know it will, and it's. So. Although it's hard and I had, like, a hard weekend, it. It's not even, like, the firing. The firing is hard. I'll tell you what the hardest piece is. And I told you this earlier. Like, when we were. I didn't. When I knew we were going to move, I was like, the salon's running itself. It's fine. We'll just keep it and maybe use it as a training facility. It doesn't make a ton of money, but it's good brand positioning, like, whatever. Like, I didn't even consider letting it go.

Yeah.

And I'm sitting there over the weekend, and it just. That voice came to me and said, let it go. And I was like, why am I resisting this? Is it the girls? Like, yeah, I want the girls to, like, have success. And I was like, it's. It's hard for me because it's literally a piece of my identity that I'm like, oh, my God. Like, I'm the creator of Natural Beaded Rose, and I'm. This is the flagship of nbr. And I'm. And I'm like, I could keep it to save face, but I don't need to. Like, I need to let it go. And I think that a lot of people who have success in any industry, you're at. You're like, you're the fucking champ. You are the top person. It's hard to let that piece go.

Yeah.

And what happens is, like, I'm. I hit my prime in hair. I have no desire to keep pushing it that direction. I created a movement in the hair industry, and it's like, I have to, like, let. I have to let that piece of my identity stay in California. And then when it. It hit me, when we were driving home, when I and I just, like, we were driving home from dinner and we drove past the salon, and I just. I felt like this incredible release. And I told you, I said, we, we gotta let the salon go. And again, it's not even. It's like, I care for my. My teams, but it was a piece of me that I was like, you've gotta let this die to let this new version of you out. And I'm like, okay, but that's hard when you're like, I'm the fucking best at what I do. Like, I made hand tied hair extension. I put them on the map. I. I retrained how the industry thought about, like, hair extensions. Like, so it's hard to understand you've had that impact in your industry to now say, what's next? But if you can have that impact in one industry, what can you do in another?

You're beautiful and powerful. I love you. It takes a lot of courage to let go and to let yourself die. And you're doing it. And you're an example for me, an example for so many women, even here on the show. Being here on the show, the way you show up, the way you speak, the way the courage that you share, your truth, like this is setting so many people free. Now, Marianne Williamson's quote is interesting because she talks about this idea that it's not our darkness that most frightens us, it's our light. And that when we're liberated from our fears, that just our presence liberates others. And you keep demonstrating it. You demonstrate it to our children, you demonstrate it to me, you demonstrate it to the girls in the academy, you demonstrate to your friends. So I'm proud of you. And I know today wasn't easy. And today's the day that you called me in, only this time, we came in unified, really, for the first time ever.

I feel like you're like my secret weapon, though. And there's this piece of me that's like, oh, you don't need him. You got this. You're the powerhouse. You can get up there and you can. And I was Like, I know I don't need him. I want him here. We're powerful together. And so I kind of took this approach of like, hey, I'm gonna. I'm gonna let all of HQ go. And I was like, I would love for you to help me with this. And I think me, even as powerful as I am, like, coming in and just, like, asking, I think you finally got it.

Yeah, I did. Yeah, I saw. I mean, I was convicted big time. I've been. Been very convicted the last, like, six months. Just convicted to how I've shown up, and convicted to the fact that I allowed you to be in a place as a queen being attacked instead of stepping in to handle shit like I should have. I got upset at you for not fighting, and you weren't meant to fight. That was my fight.

I know.

It was my fight to have.

I know.

And I should have had that fight a long time ago. And we got to a place that we now had it, and it wasn't a fight with us. It's for the first time, we're turning the fight out to the world instead of, like, having that be in our world.

Right.

That was a statement that came up in one of my medicine journeys, and, like, one of my stacks over a couple weeks was the fact that God's like, listen, I got big things for you to do. You're going to do even bigger things. You can imagine in Miami that everything I've done in Warrior prepared me for what I'm about to do. Now what I'm about to do is what I'm actually called to do. That everything we've done with Warrior up to this point got us here, and it's helping millions of people, and we love it. And at the same time, there's this other chapter opening up, and part of what's opening up in this next chapter is we.

Well, we've been in. We've been in this weird game of competition for so long, and I'm like, I don't know. For me, I'm like, God, I'm surrendering and submitting everything. I'm like, it. I don't care if my companies grow at some level because I don't want to be a threat to my man. I don't want to be in competition. I literally was just like, yeah, I let the teams handle shit that I knew wouldn't work and would not grow the business because I didn't want to jeopardize our relationship. And I was like, I don't care. I will submit to this man, and let him rise and do his thing. And I can. It's not my season. It's not my season. It was your season. And so now I'm like, okay, we're in a good space. There's no reason that this can't be a we season. There's no reason that I can't bring you in like my secret weapon and feel like I've got to coming to be. I'm not. I'm not that role. That's not me. You. That's your role. Why do you think I married you? I know I'm like, you're my. You're my workhorse. I'm like, I can be the wife and I can see vision, but you. You, sir, I chose you, and you chose me. But I knew that you would be my killer. I knew that you would be that protective person for me. So when I felt like you weren't protecting me, I felt even abandoned by you.

I get that. Sorry.

I don't. I don't. I didn't really. It was. It was kind of a rocky touch and go, like, year because I felt like I was like, dude, I. I see the potential in my company, but, like. But, like, I don't. I do. Like, I see that. I feel like I'm sitting on a fucking gold mine, but I'm like, but I'm unwilling to dive in and fight the wars. That's not my role. My role is vision. My role is clarity. That's not my role. And I like that you're finally realizing that. And I know there's so many other things that you can do in warrior that, like, that will make you ten times more money than coming into my business. But I think that you kind of finally realize, like, this is not just my business, it's our business. There you go.

Really good.

You need to take ownership in it.

Yeah, I am. I can feel it. Feel it happening. Just in the last week, why the shifts and moves I was making were different than I've made in the past. I think in the past, I've made you wrong or even made you weak, like, felt you were. Because you weren't doing the thing that I was supposed to do. And a lot of stories and reasons around why, some justified and some not so justified, and it didn't really matter. That's why today, even the meeting with all the girls, I was like, this is all of me.

And the funny thing is, is, like, I. I don't feel any less powerful by letting you come in and assume that role. I'M not like, oh, I need to be the one to do it. There was a period where I was like, I don't need gear, but you provide a skill set that I don't have, and I'm okay with that. I have no ego about it. I'm like, I literally would prefer to use you as my secret weapon. That'd be great. Thank you.

Yeah, you can use me as your weapon anytime you need.

There we go.

Your weapon, your toy.

Okay.

Whatever you're feeling.

Since this show's been fun, it's been spiritual. Then it got a little weird and dark and dirty. Then it really bring it right back.

Around to, oh, you did magical. Well, I'm proud of you for the change. Going to Miami is going to be fun. We go in less than three months, and we're going to go with a completely different world in our hands. My teams are rising. My brand is rising. Warriors on fire. Warriors. Warriors been preparing for what is coming. With the chaos of the elections, it's going to be chaos no matter what. There's going to be chaos no matter who gets elected, no matter what goes down. People in society. And there's a lot of people going to be faced a lot of hard truths. And all I see happening right now is God just exposing truth everywhere. And so for those that don't know how to be in truth and can't stand in truth, you're.

Don't you find it weird, too? Right now, more people are leaning into God and having the God conversation than I've ever seen. With everything that's okay to say in the media, more people are, like, now coming out, like, with this whole concept of, like, you know, God's leading us or where, you know, just more of the God conversation, which is crazy. And even prayer, like, I had all my trainers reach out to me today, like, literally just text me and said, we know what you're going through.

We're.

We're praying for you, you know, and it's just like, everybody's kind of, like, understanding within such a dark world, there also is going to be more light that's exposed as well.

There's both. And you're gonna have a choice. You're a choice. You're gonna have a choice with what's coming. You're gonna have a choice with what's here. You're gonna have a choice what's coming in the future, which is you're either going to be in the world and be consumed by it, or you're going to be in the world. But not of it. And you have the power to be able to rise above it. Now, part of the reason why we talk at such dark, detailed ways with you, not because darkness is a problem. Like darkness has never been a problem. God never said darkness was a problem. Not like darkness. There's light that fills the night and there's light that fills the day. And it's been like that from the beginning. This is how God built this world. And that darkness and light's inside all of us. And the kingdom that Christ spoke about is inside of us. The only challenge is your lies, your personal deceptions, your unwillingness to be open with your spouse, your unwillingness to be honest with yourself is what continually puts you into a prison. You damn yourself with guilt, with shame, with fear, with obligation, and all these other things that go around in your mind and your heart that shut you off from your spouse, they shut you off from God. And then you sit isolated, alone, even surrounded by tons of people, and yet still absolutely alone. And there's only one way out of this prison that you've created, and that is to set yourself free with the power of truth. Where truth is, God is. Where God is, transformation is possible. And if you can't get it in yourself, you're never going to get it with your spouse. And so it starts with you. And if you were willing to connect to God in truth, you will have the power and capacity to transform. And then with two transformed beings that can come together and create something exactly the way God created it, and a woman together, unified, one flesh, one power, one conversation, one commitment, one purpose. This is foreordained and the shit we're about to do. The next decade will make what we did in our past decade seem like nothing but child's play with finger paint. We were just getting started learning how to paint on a palette.

Good thing. It's a good thing I'm still young.

Gonna be a grandma at 42. What's up, Gu?

We don't. We don't. We don't talk about that. We don't talk about that.

That'll be next episode.

It'll be next episode.

Your thoughts and memoirs about being a dil, a guil and a milf.

Also, I have a two year old. Let's not talk about that.

Oh, that's true. You do have a two year old.

She's almost three though, so it's fine.

Yeah. All right, well, we wrap this up, I'm sure.

So if you guys find some value out of the show, hopefully in the beginning and the end, Some in the middle. We're sorry about that.

But there's value everywhere. We're not sorry for anything.

If you find some value in this, share it. That's all we ask. I think that there's so many times that we're doing this podcast and we don't know directly who we're speaking to, but if it resonates with you, I would encourage you to implement some of the things that we're talking about inside of your life and to share it with your family or friends. You guys, thanks for listening. And if you want more information about either of us for me, you can go to Danielle K. White. That's my personal blog. I talk about my family fitness. I have two podcasts that I run. I am the owner and founder of Natural Beautiful Hair Extensions and Isla Hair. So I always share hair tips, things like that. I have a large education base on there. So you guys can go to Danielle K. White, check out everything I'm all about, or follow me on Instagram at Danielle K. White.

And well, here's the deal. If you're looking for tools to be a gold digger and you want to mine that gold out of your man and or you're a man who's trying to mine the gold out of himself so that you can stand in a place of having all and being free, well, we might have tools for you. We got two different amazing entry points. We've got wakeupwarrior.com, where you can learn more about the tools of warrior, or you can join our free Men's Bible study every single week virtually by going to warriormensbiblestudy.com and yes, our Bible study is the spicy and we read the Bible and we talk about Jesus and we say the word fuck. So if that's the place you'd like to go, you know where to go. Warriormen'sbiblestudy.com or wakeboard.com. thanks so much for being here. This brings a wrap to our solo date your wife podcast episode that we didn't get to do often because we have so many amazing guests. But we're here together with ourselves. Have a great week. We'll see you next week.