Unlock the Secrets of Orgasms: Squirting, Tantra & Orgasmic Awakening with Susan Bratton

That moment of climax, instead of it going like, oh, oh, oh, oh, she falls off.

Yeah.

You are taking her up and then you're holding her, though. She's going, oh, you know, she's staring.

Did you take notes? What's it called again?

Expand her orgasm tonight.

Oh, that's what I'm going to do tonight.

Yes.

Keep coaching, coach. My friends, welcome to the date you wife podcast. And I have worked in the podcasting world for a decade and I have worked my ass off to prepare for what is about to. To be thrown on your face in this show and hopefully thrown on your face tonight. You know what I'm talking about. There's a topic dear to my heart and dear to my penis, and it is called sex. And I have constantly banging the drum here for men across the globe about having passionate sex in marriage. Danielle and I have been back and forth on this topic many, many, many, many, many hundreds of thousands of times. And we finally found our way to land and go. But we have yet to, on the date your wife podcast bring in a fundamental expert who has devoted their life to curing the dysfunction between the penis and the vagina and helping married men and couples and individuals around the world. Sex expert to millions and advisor to millions and soon to be a million one and two. With Danielle and I here today on the show, we would like to invite our guest in. Susan Bratton, the queen of, what is it? The queen of hearts. Could be.

Is that one of them?

One of them.

Queen of peen.

The queen of pe. I like that.

That's the one that makes me laug.

Okay, I'm gonna ask you a question right out of the gate because I, I, this is a debate. Is it true that women can squirt?

Oh, absolutely.

This is real.

Oh, yeah. As a matter of fact, one of the things that. It was so funny. I was having my breakfast before I came here and I had all my illustrations stacked on the table and the one on the top was the G spot, but it doesn't look like a spot because it's not a spot.

Okay.

And the server said, oh, what is that? And I said, it's the G spot. And he said, that's what the G spot looks like.

Which picture are we talking about? Which one?

The second one from the last.

Okay, I'm grabbing it.

Yeah.

I'm going to be our picture holder today.

Yeah.

Oh, I didn't think that was, I thought that was your part.

Well, our team thought this was a penis.

I did.

Yeah.

Yeah. If you kind of hold it like this. The other direction, it orients a little bit this way.

Oh, sideways.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that. That's kind of how it is. So the little flower that's on the end, which my waiter said, oh, looks like a little flower. I said, well, that's sometimes called the U spot or urethral spot. It's actually if you open up the little labia, the little inner labia, that's called the vestibule inside there. And in the vestibule, there are two entry exit ways. One is where your pee pee comes out. One is the vagina. And the top one where your urine comes out, that's called your urethral exit.

Is there two holes right here? But there's only. I don't know this.

There's. That one hole is where.

Matt did not know this. Our team did not know this. Okay.

That one hole is where the urine and the female ejaculate come out. So squirting is kind of a porn term, but the technical. So it's not urine, it's not urine? No. Just like in men, they can urinate and ejaculate.

We had this debate last week, and she's like, they're just peeing on them. They're just peeing on them in porn.

They're just peeing on them.

Well, in porn, they utilize a lot of tricks. But also, the women who are in porn doing female ejaculation, which they call squirting, are women who have a lot of control over being able to release their feminine waters. Some women naturally ejaculate. Other women want to learn how, and other women have no interest.

Does it feel good? I mean, I had never had the experience of myself, so it feels amazing. It does.

It's. I liken it to. If a good cry and an incredible orgasm had a baby, it's kind of the combination of this deep release, because for most women, they need a lot of trust and safety to surrender to allow their feminine nectars to flow. And the tantric masters call it Amrita or Amrita, and it's like the nectar of the goddess. And it might have a tiny little bit of urine fragments in it because it comes down the same tube, same as your semen.

Got it.

But it is actually recruited from those little green things. Those are called the Skene's glands. So what happens is when you get turned on, the blood flows into your pelvic bowl and you have an orgasmic contraction and the watery fluid comes right out.

Right out here.

Yeah.

And it makes cheap. I didn't think about it. I mean, you do, you come and piss out of the same hole. Hole.

Yes, you do.

Which. All I'm hearing is the same thing happens here.

We have the same parts arranged in different order.

I knew it.

Mystery solved.

Well, listen, I probably could have chat GPT this, but that I didn't ever think about doing that. This is what this, this. Right. What are these again?

Those are the little skin glands that trunk the fluid from your pelvic bowl down into that spongy tissue and then when you have a contraction, it comes out that little hole. And for women that are like major super soakers, they actually grow these little gills on each side of that, which.

Means they can shoot a lot.

So they get more fluid out. If they are super soakers, they need more exit areas and they'll get these little gills.

I would assume, I would assume you trained women on doing this.

Yeah, for about two decades. I've helped thousands and thousands of couples learn to have this incredible experience.

Wow. Tell us more about like your story and how you got to this place of being a Sex edition expert, you know?

Yeah. Well, your greatest wound becomes your greatest gift. Yet another story of that journey for my husband and I. We were married for 12 years and I'd never had an orgasm from intercourse. And I just got tired of having sex. I just got tired of. We didn't know what we were doing. We were the blind leading the blind behind closed doors.

Did he think he was doing good?

I mean, all guys think they're doing good. And we thought it was just me. Right, that's what happens, you think? No, it's just you haven't learned how to do it yet. And so instead of getting divorced, which is what we were about to do, we decided to just learn how to have hot sex. And so we were lucky. We lived in Silicon Valley, so we had access to Northern California, which is kind of like the nexus of personal development and transformational work and sexual, you know, next, next generation, sexual integration. And so we went to quite a few sex workshop, we went to marriage therapy, we went to workshops. We did a lot of Tony Robbins things. You know, we did our Walking on Fire and all of our self actualization and things like that as well. And we also did it, we started a practice at that time of radical honesty. We had friends who worked with Brad Blanton. He wrote that book, Radical Honesty. We just started telling each other the truth rather than what I think ruins really most marriages, which is withholds walking on eggshells. You know, stuffing your feelings, all of those kinds of things. We just got everything out on the. So between getting real with each other and learning how to make love, we just got really good in bed together to the point. And it was like, my God, it's actually really easy to learn this stuff. And we decided we wanted to bring the workshops to the world, to anyone in the world who was a sexual seeker, who wanted to learn how to be a good lover. And my husband's the inventor of Rhapsody, the first online music service that kind of begotten Spotify and SoundCloud and all of those things. And so he was very. He was. He founded the MP3 standard. So he was very familiar with. And. And my company developed the. The broadband cable modem. And so between us, we knew what was coming with the Internet and we were like, we can put all this online 20 years ago, we can put all this online and we can start teaching people anywhere in the world who want to have really great sex together. So one by one, I systematically launched the work of my mentors. And I really, what I run is a publishing company, and I've published 44 books and programs, 34 of which are my own work from the last two decades. I've taken a lot of the work of my mentors and carried it forward and expanded on their body of work and developed my own body of work. And so it saved our marriage. We had super hot sex. I now I'm 63 years old instead of 42 years old, and I'm having the best sex of my life. Still, it's still getting better.

Go back to like the. The decision point, because this is where we'll have a ton of. A ton of couples, thousands of couples listening to this that are at that point where the women have shut down sexually. The men are tired of being rejected. And I mean, my experience is too. If it shuts, if that shuts down, nobody really wants to play anymore. And which is now causing all the divorces, which is now causing the sep. Which now I'm watching the backlash from that because they end up going on these sex benders for six to nine months when they're single, and then they end up hollow and lost again, trying to find it back, realizing even just fucking all these vaginas isn't going to help them feel satisfied. Or the women doing the same thing. Going, hanging out with a ton of dudes after they're divorced. Go back to the decision point. How did you come to the decision to say, hey, what if the problem is we haven't found the next level in our marriage versus let's be done.

Because we are very similar to your followers. We're the kind of people who have a learning mindset. If we don't, if we're not doing something well, we figure out how to do it well. So we were just that person, we were that couple that was like, okay, if it's not good, there's something here that we don't know. And for some women, I do feel very badly. Dr. Beverly Sasson, she developed this concept called spontaneous versus responsive desire. And I feel like that could be one of the most important things that anyone learns about a pair bonded partnership. And that's because generally and everything I say, I'm always talking to the big bell curve. I'm talking to the people, the big group of people in the center. There are some people that have no problems. They've got awesome sex. They're both horny all the time. They're fuck every day. They're having a great time. And there are some people that have no interest in sex. Neither of them do. They don't really want to. And they're perfectly fine with that as well. Now, in some ways, I feel like they get shortchanged on one end of the low end of the spectrum. Because if you want to live an optimal life again, it's optimizing your life. You want to have sex till the day you die. You want to keep getting better and better and better in bed together. More and more skills, and you can never run out of the skills to learn. There's always more. I'm learning all the time too. I'm just ahead. So I'm just telling you what I've done now so you can learn that next. So many of the people who follow me have followed me for decades because they are that mindset of people who want to learn. And so for us, it was, how do we learn the fundamentals? Where do we start? What do we do? And that was what allowed us to get better in bed together. When we realized, oh, it's just a series of learned skills, we're just gonna. We're just gonna keep checking them off the list. And we still do that. Yeah.

So I'll go ahead.

I was just gonna say, I have like, so many friends that are like, oh, it's not just about the sex. Yeah, but don't you think that sex can be spiritual? And I like. I think a lot of people think, well, we hear it all the time where they just say, oh, it's not just about the sex. I don't need. It's almost like I don't need it. I'm like, oh, I find it to be very connective.

Yeah. There's two things. One, and I should pick up the thread on spontaneous and responsive desire. So spontaneous is I'm horny all the time. I'm ready to go. Responsive is I'm open to having sex. I'm just not turned on right now. But I know together we know the steps to do the heavy lifting to get me turned on. And I know it takes me 20 minutes. And you're ready to go in, too. And I'm fine with that. We're both fine with that. We know what to do. And that's where you get as a couple, that even though I love to have sex, I'm not walking around like, let's do it. I'm like, let's go lie down on the bed and see what happens. Which is why I'm such a proponent for yoni massage, because yoni is a tantric lovemaking word for the female genital system. Lingam is a tantric lovemaking word for the male genital system. And what I like about them is it goes right to that spiritual sexuality piece that you mentioned, Danielle, which is when I enter into a conjoined trance state of ecstatic bliss with my partner. I can touch God. I can feel my connection to God, to Source, to Gaia, to consciousness, whatever anybody wants to call that. And when you feel God through your pleasure and your connection to yourself and your lover, that's incredibly nourishing. And when you can have that kind of sex, then you're extending your health span because you're extending your sex span because you've learned these skills to have this really incredible experience together. One of the techniques that I've been teaching for two decades, which is one of the lineages that I carry on from my mentor, Dr. Patty Taylor, is the experience expanded orgasm practice. And that is absolutely the technique to connect to God. It is a clitoral stroking technique. It's five strokes. There's three opening strokes, a bread and butter stroke, and a closing stroke. And if you want any of these things that I talk about, of course I'll give them to you so that you can watch the video and see what it is and practice it yourself. But once you stroke a clit in just the right way, where you're not driving it too hard, which is what most people do, especially women, they want to, like, get to the orgasm because they have performance anxiety and Then they blow themselves out, and they kind of desensitize their clitoris instead of, like, creeping up on it really slowly and getting into a limbic connection between partners where you are actually toggling her nervous system, her sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system. By stroking, you can begin to feel the exact right spot that's making her feel real pleasure in that moment. And the spot moves around. I mean, it's in this general vicinity, but it moves around, and you've got to be able to feel that. So over time, as you begin to really limbically connect with each other, you're taking her on an orgasmic ride with a little finger stroke, and she's riding your ride, and you're learning how to do things. Like in the program, it teaches you how to do peaking. Peaking is where you actually stroke, stroke, stroke, and then you pause. It's called an intentional downstroke. That actually makes her body go like it wants more. It comes toward you more, and so she comes more, and she chases that sensation, and that expands her orgasmic potential and the intensity of her orgasm and that. That particular stroke lets her stay in the moment of climax.

You know how you just sold, like, 500 to 1,000 courses and the show's not even, like, shows not. Gentlemen, I know exactly where you're at right now, because I'm in it. I'm like. My mind's visualizing everything. I'm like, I need to take Daniel upstairs and practice a stroke right now. So we'll put all the links to her stuff here, because I know exactly where you're at right now.

We have the show yet, babe, we.

Don'T end the show. I'm just saying it's already closed, so this is all extra. Anything else you hear from here on forward is great. Because if you're a dude, you're listening to this, you're already sold. You don't even give a fuck how much it costs. You're like, I want to know that thing. I want to do that. What's it called again?

Expand her orgasm tonight.

Oh, that's what I'm going to do tonight.

Yes.

Keep coaching, coach.

And. And what's neat about it is that you know how when your woman's having her climax and you can now, with this stroke, you actually take that moment of climax. Instead of it going like. And she falls off, you are taking her up, and then you're. And then you're holding her there. She's going. You know, she's standing.

Did you hear how that goes? Did you take notes? I need that.

The expanded orgasm is the expanded orgasm.

I'll keep it down for the toddlers.

No, right? Yeah, right. You could be. You have to be kind of quiet, actually.

My daughters are always like, mom, we could hear you last night. I'm like, I'm sorry.

It's good for them to hear.

Exactly.

In years of my work, what I have noticed is that people say to me, my parents never told me about sex. And they feel pissed. They have a victimhood mindset from it. They feel like they got shortchanged. And I'm like, your parents didn't know anything. They did the best they could do. Forgive them. It's your job. Right? So that's important. But I want to close the loop on the expanded orgasm because I really want to make this point when you're coming and you're in that moment of climax and your partner's got his finger on exactly the right spot on your clit, and he knows exactly what he's going to do for the next stroke to deliver even more pleasure, he can take that moment of orgasm. And instead of you falling off the cliff, you stretch that orgasm out like time is taffy. And then you get into this thing when you hit that level where now you're making her come and she's just coming and it's just going, oh, it's so nice. Then you can start to stack them and they get even bigger and more expansive. And so then you start. What happens is you go, well, how long can I come?

Yeah, exactly.

Now you got to gamify that shit, right?

Yeah, exactly, exactly. So then you know what is the longest orgasm?

What I've personally found is coming for about an hour.

Shut up. Without one hour.

A sip of water is about my limit.

And you're coming the whole time for an hour?

I'm coming, taking a rest, and then another better come. And then another better come.

And then just climbing the mountains.

I'm just climbing the mountain. Yeah.

What's your husband doing the whole time?

He's taking me there.

And how's it. How's. What's his energy like?

It's calm, connected, conscious, present and stroking me.

Can the man do that?

Can I come for an hour? Absolutely not.

It's very similar to edging for men, but for women, we go over. We don't stay at the edge. We go over repeatedly and we take that over time. That time we're going over the waterfall and we stretch it out.

Is it a mental game for you too?

It's a mental Game of letting go of everything. It's the game of he puts his hands on me and he gets me out of my. My head and he. And I am literally like, right in my boom immediately. Because he's very good at it. After decades of stroking me.

Yeah.

Repeatedly throughout the week.

These are going to be the greatest.

I was going to say, these are.

Going to be the greatest IG clubs of all time, bro.

I'm like, thinking for an hour. I'm like, women are like, so in their head about things. Like, at some point they're like, thinking about kids or groceries or whatever you got to get done for the day.

But I mean, well, that's the thing. Sex is a mindfulness practice. So you just keep bringing yourself back.

Yeah. Like, yeah.

And then pretty soon, when he's got a hold of that clit and he's taking you on a ride, you're not thinking about anything. You're just coming, you're out, you're out. You're in outer space, which is. You ask me. What do people call you? What I call myself is the Orgasmonaut.

The Orgasmonaut. Yeah.

And I like to call myself that. Dressed in a silver lame spacesuit, if possible.

Orgasmonaut. Welcome to the Orgasmonaut. Well, here's the bottom line. Like, nobody taught me where the clit was, right? Nobody. I mean, you're like, danielle and I have been married for 20. 23. 23 years.

Religion that you just didn't talk about sex. We got married super young and thought we were broken for like five years. And then I. And in fact, we almost got divorced over it.

Right.

And we were actually in therapy one day and he. We're like, battling something out, and I'm like, you looked at him and I'm like, you think I don't want to have good sex? Like, we just didn't know how to do it together.

That's what it's like. I know. And because people like myself who are sex educators are censored, we can't get this information out there. Which is why, before we started the show, I thanked you for having me. Because that's what we need, is what creates fear, lack of knowledge. What creates lack of knowledge, Censorship and repression, which you grew up in.

You are very comfortable in the topic.

Very.

As you're watching. I mean, I don't know too many people could sit and be this comfortable. I'm totally cool with this. This is, like, amazing to me. I'm excited. I'm like, in student mode. All I'm thinking of is when am I getting the can be ready for our vacation? Next week. That's all I'm talking about. I want like you want. I want a 35 minute orgasm. I think I'll break. I don't know how long you've come.

Before you're just thinking like, challenge accepted, you're fine.

I'm an achiever. That's what you said. Like, this is why this is a game for me. Like, hold on a second. There's levels we've learned about squirting is true. And we've learned about the extended orgasm from the orgasmonaut.

But also to go back to the religion frame, a lot of people won't even allow themselves to have good sex because they think it's like, bad.

Yeah.

And we've gone through a crazy journey. And like, that's why I brought up the whole spiritual thing because I'm like, we got to a point where we had more fun with it and it did feel spiritual, you know, but a lot of people won't. They'll end their marriages over it.

I know. Well, the good news is that everything is learnable. There's a taxonomy so that it's easy for super achievers to just tackle the beast and learn it all as fast as possible. But the other thing is that it never ends. There's always more to learn. There's 20 different kinds of orgasms the human body can have, not just the female body.

20?

Yes. Over 20. Because my 20th one is actually. That's really proud of my throat. Exactly.

Three.

Yeah. Yeah. That's good. That's.

We got lots more to work on.

Yes.

We've got a lot of homework to do.

Yes.

Bed work. Yes, a lot of bed work.

I like the bed work or backyard door.

Yeah. Okay, so 20.

Really? Yeah.

I don't even know how that works.

Give me an example of a couple. What, what are some of the 20?

So if you think about it, they're kind of in three buckets. And I think orgasm techniques are a really important part of your sex education. Your sexual journey of exploration and expanding your orgasmic potential. Having using orgasmic activation and orgasmic cross training to expand your ability to have orgasms. It's really good because orgasms are where the real juice is. One of the things that makes me crazy, you guys, is when I watch a YouTube video of a famous sexpert saying, oh, don't worry about having an orgasm, just enjoy being close. And I'm like, fuck that shit, let's come some more.

Right?

Isn't that the Reward.

Let's come some more. Reload, boys.

So if you think so, orgasms are a great place to start. But I think erotic play dates are also a really good place to go. And they're kind of a combination where you can have an erotic play date that says, let's find my G spot. Let's learn how to squirt. Let's have expanded orgasms. Let me become a multi orgasmic man. I mean, these are all great things. So if you think about orgasms in the three buckets, bucket number one is locations to touch. Oh, touch my clitoris. Touch my cervix. Touch my G spot. Touch my glans. Touch my prostate, Touch my nipples. You know, core gasms, you can have the erectus abdominis if you squeeze that nicely. You can have core gasms, belly gasms, you can have throat gasms, you can have kissing gasms, breast gasms, nipple gasms. There's a lot of good places to.

Touch so your nipples can orgasm.

Nipplegasms.

Yeah, they like contract.

Yes. No, they don't contract. They get hard. But I actually brought you something fun. So here's all my. Susie.

I feel like I should be the one to hold them after you demonstrate.

My boobs or the nipple vibrators.

I'm here to support if you authorize others. I'm here to. I'm just, I'm a hands on learner.

Said like a true guy.

Exactly. See better with my hands and my eyes.

Hilarious. And I freaking love it.

I was like, they kind of look like earplugs, but I feel like those go.

Oh, are those the nipples?

These are. This is a nipple.

The nipple vibrator.

Yes.

You put it on your neck like so.

Everything I'm talking about, everything I'm showing, I always keep it@drivedesire.com so if people are like, where do I get that? Drivedesire.com youm guys will put it at the show notes, right?

Yes.

So nobody has to worry. They can just listen. So these are little adjustable clamps that you can put right on your nipples. And I know this is. I see if I can get it to. I can't because it's. I would have to do them in. You put this on and you put them on your nipples and they vibrate. And then you have this little thing.

Control speed.

Yeah. And this does all the different. Oh, did I wear it out? Here we go. Here, I'll show. I'll send it over to you so you can try it out.

Is this for men and women?

Many Men have very sensitive, sensitive nipples.

Oh, okay.

Yes.

Oh, it's pink. So I thought maybe it was just for the ladies.

Yeah, well, generally it is.

That's gonna make some things happen.

Yeah.

So if you make some things happen.

If you are doing a yoni massage and you want some nipple sensation, you could just press that button and it'll stop. Just hold it, then it'll stop. You could have. You could be wearing that while you're getting a yoni massage, and then you're stimulating two locations simultaneously. That's one of the things I like when I do. There you go. Nipple them on right there.

I'm just gonna walk into the bedroom with this on, say, babe, are you ready for your Roni massage?

I think it'd be sexy or Roni massage.

I'm super amped up right now. My nipples are rock hard.

Wear that to the gym. See if anybody says anything.

I'm just gonna wear it into one of my events and see if people can figure it out. It's like, what is this? This is what I'll do when you come to one of our events and train our guys. I'll just. Just wear this out shirtless with it on my nipples. Like, hey, here we go.

Kind of like shock therapy.

Yeah. Oh, maybe could, like, remote it.

Yeah.

Oh, I've got some really fun remote things too. Let me show you those. These are really cute. I love. Where did it go? Here it is. This one is really cute. This one has. It's a little. Oh, the magnet's gone. It probably stuck to something else in here. Yeah, here. I know exactly what it stuck to. This one is cute because this one's a little clitoral vibrator that you can put in your panties, and then you can give it to your partner and. And they could, like, they can take you out to dinner, and they can have the remote control and they can give you orgasms during dinner.

Movie probably was.

It is. Yeah. Would you be down with that same kind this year?

I wouldn't be able to eat my dinner.

No, no. I just. I would play the game fair. I would go by coaches rules. I don't. It would be an extended orgasm over dinner, so.

Exactly.

I don't know. That would be very distracting.

Would you try it?

It'd be a good way to, like, I guess, skip a meal. Would you try it on vacation with some tequila?

Sure. Yeah.

All right, so I just got the green light, and I'm gonna need that right now. Drive it wet.

So fun. And this one is really fun. Too. Can you catch?

Yes.

That one, the thicker part goes up inside and that outside part, it just goes right on your clitoris. And it is remote control activated too. So for a woman who likes a little fullness and some clitoral stimulation. Who doesn't? Some women don't. Some women don't. You know, through menopause, they get sensitive. They're working on their hrt, they're using their topical estrogens. They're not quite there yet, and they could be sensitive. So this is actually a vibrator, specifically a medical grade vibrator for women who want just labial and clitoral stimulation, not internal stimulation.

Do you always use toys when you're having sex?

Oh, God, yeah. Oh, I don't know. I mean, not the whole time. Just, you know, a lot of times what will happen is we'll have sex for an hour or two. You know, a nice yoni massage, make out, you know.

You heard that right, Matt.

All these different things.

Hour two.

And then.

Gentlemen, you heard that right, Hour or two. So you're four minutes. We got some work to do.

And then at the end, I'll still have a couple orgasms left inside me. And I'll just use one of my toys while my partner maybe pleasures my breasts or kisses me because he's tapped out.

He's done. He's got no more bullshit.

If he ejaculated. And I'm like, I think there's a couple more left in there. I need to get out. He just helps me get them out.

How many times do you orgasm when you guys just on a normal night of sex?

I mean, in a way, I don't know that I could count them because they go on, you know, for a long time. And there's many different kinds. I might have throatgasms, nipplegasms, clitoral gasms, orgasms from intercourse. I might have some female ejaculatory orgasms. I might have some toygasms of various things I'm playing with.

So a lot.

Here's what I'm thinking.

I'm like.

I'm like, are you having sex every night? That's a time commitment.

No.

Oh my God. We're to the time commitment. We are the creators of our lives. We can create the time.

Well, I mean, well, sometimes with him and I, I'm like, babe, we got about two minutes, but we both want it. And I'm like, two minutes. Get the best out of. Well, it's like five, but still, because we got kids in life and stuff, but we're like, hey, you know, we like the five minute ones.

Yeah, they're nice.

When you have kids at home, it really puts a couple crimp in your style for sure. And I'm not a proponent of the quickie because remember the spontaneous and responsive desire for women. It takes us 20 minutes to get our lady boner. It takes our blood, our blood seeps into the nooks and crannies of our erectile tissue, where for men they've got that straight shot of erectile tissue that three tubes run down his penis. We've got the same amount of erectile tissue in our vulva, but it's in little parts. There's the clitoral body, the shaft, the glands, the arms, the legs. Then there's the urethral sponge, which we saw at the beginning of the show. And then there's the perineal sponge below the vagina. And that all wraps the vaginal canal. And the thing is that to get the blood in there, it takes her 20 minutes to get out of her head, get into her body, to connect her heart with yours, to relax, to let down, to let the blood flow. And so, you know, a five minute lovemaking thing means I just feel like my husband won't give me a quickie. I've said to him, all right, let's just do a quickie. He's like, no way. You're just gonna be bitchy afterwards. You're gonna be all like, that wasn't good for me. And I'm like, it's true. Yeah, you're right. So we make time and now we like to have. We like to make love in the afternoon, you know, four, five o' clock for us is a very good time to make love. It might be hard for you guys right now with your kids to do that, but for us, you know, our child's all grown up.

We need a love condo.

We need a lot of like, big weekend getaways and things, Things like that.

We're getting a love condo.

Yeah, you gotta hear what you gotta do.

Like your own love layer outside of the house.

Yes, of course.

See, that's the only way I can pull it off.

Or you can just rent a hotel room.

Well, that's the funny thing. Last week, last weekend, for our date night, I rented a hotel room. We didn't even sleep there. Yeah, we just went and had sex and then came home to the kids. That's kind of felt like a stripper, but I liked it.

Yeah, it's nice. It's really nice. Yeah. And Take your bag full of stuff. Set your lover space. Get your liberator fascinator. Get your boom tube. Get your playlist. Oh, and I want to show you the lubes. I have the lubes and things.

Like, it's like getting ready for surgery. You're just laying out the tools.

Well, you got to have it all. A Zapp cushion for the yoni massage. Your tools. You like, like a meditation. Like a meditation cushion. If you sit up on that and then you put her between your legs, you can get her yoni really nicely to give her a yoni massage so she can relax and everything can flow in.

How long does it take to get certified in this yoni massage?

You're already certified.

I like it. You see that? Just because I got it on the show. Certified.

Yeah. There you go.

That's the worst, worst certification of all time. You're qualified because you wanted to be.

You're qualified because it's not hard at all. It's very easy. And you don't need any certification. It's just hands on experience. Yeah.

Yeah.

But you have trainings for this?

Well, I. I have yoni massage training. Yeah, but it's. It doesn't. It doesn't need to be. You can just put your hands on her pussy and you can just enjoy the pleasure and you can tell him what you like. And yes, there are things to know, talk about that.

Tell them what you like.

Yeah, tell them what you like.

She does sometimes, but not a lot of times. Yeah, it's more like, don't do that. Not do this. So how does she get to a place where she's comfortable? And how do I get to a place where I've created the space for her to be comfortable, to be able to say that?

So you think. I mean, I like that you said at the beginning of the show, people, like, think they're just naturally good at sex. But it's something that you have to practice in order to get good at.

Yeah. Well, one of my. You know how I was saying there's kind of a taxonomy to learning about how to be a really good lover.

Yeah.

So there's three big buckets of knowledge. The first one is sex techniques. So, you know, how do I do it and how does the body work? Because the body is an operating system and our operating systems work the same. We're not as wildly different as you would imagine. We might have a certain neural pathway we've laid down that helps us achieve an orgasm, but that's just the first neural pathway. The reason our Brain is our biggest sex organ is because it's processing sensation. It's not the sensual talk, it's not those kinds of things. But I'm going to come back to the communication. But what happens is as you begin to go, okay, I want to try now I know I can have an orgasm from clitoral stimulation. Now I want to have an orgasm from intercourse. What do I need to do for that? And so that's awakening all that tissue, activating that tissue. And for most women, it starts out as either numb or painful or shameful. They have shame about being touched and loving touch transforms all of that into pleasure. And so it's activating the tissue by getting the neural signals to the brain. So when a lot of women say so, there's communication techniques, there's touch skills, if you will, techniques. And then the third piece is essentially intimate wellness. Keeping your parts working as you age so you can have ageless sexuality, so you can have sex till the day you die. And then you can live a longer, healthier, happier life than anyone. Because those orgasms create a cascade of all kinds of things that keep you younger. So the communication technique, I feel, is the foundation on which all of it sits. And the one communication technique that is the first thing you must learn is this thing I call the soulmate embrace. I'm sorry, the sexual soulmate pact. I've got so many techniques, the sexual soulmate pact. And the sexual soulmate pact is, we're in agreement that you can say anything to me. You don't have to use your manners. You don't have to go, could you please, you know, go to the left or go to the just like higher, lower left, harder, softer. That's the start. And when your partner is like, tell me everything, it just makes me a better lover for you. You're not going to hurt my feelings. How could I know? You're different every day. Women are on a 28 day cycle. Even after menopause, we just change every day. So once your partner is like, I just eat up your feedback like candy, like, I want it. I want so much of it. Tell me everything. All the time. There's nothing you can't tell me. Now that's a man I like to have sex with because he's solid in himself and he knows he's here to learn and he's here to satisfy. And that's what a good lover does. But for most women, their experience of their partner's been, if they said something, he emotionally collapsed, he got butt hurt, and so she doesn't want to say anything to him. So she's like, I'll just take what I get. And so that's what erodes that. The second issue is that a lot of women say, I don't know what I want. I just know what I'm getting, isn't it? And the thing that I tell them is, you know, you use your interoception. I mean, do you know when you have to fart? Yes. Do you know when you stubbed your toe? Yes. Then you know what your yoni is saying to you. She's got lips, they're flapping all the time. They just can't speak. You gotta use these lips to speak for these lips. And when you start to speak for her, she feels empowered to tell you more. And then the more that you get better in bed, because now you're really. You have this fluid communication. Everybody's cool. You're just dealing with whatever is, oh, don't mess up my makeup because we have to. To go, you know, to the next thing or my pussy's a little sensitive today. So go really lightly and use extra lube or whatever it is. When she starts to be able to say anything that she needs. Then her yoni starts telling her own. Now, you know what you'd like to do? Let me tell you what you'd like to do next. Here's what you really secretly want now. And you're like, it is.

Yes. So to get to that level.

Yeah. I was gonna say you have to be really comfortable with communication.

We. We. I mean, you deal with the practice, the number. If we. I, I know exactly where, like, the minds of both the men and women listen to the show. Like, because you got people who have been together for like, like you and your husband were.

Yeah.

10 to 15 years. Sex has become either non existent or. Duty booty.

Yeah.

Duty booty.

Yeah.

Duty booty. I'm stealing that.

Take it.

I, I will give you credit. Caring.

Duty booty and vaginal masturbation.

I called it murder. Mercy sex.

Yeah. Mercy sex and a man. We'll just call it duty booty.

Yeah, I like that.

Dudy booty last night. So getting them to a place where they can communicate in truth.

Yes.

If a man cannot communicate his truth. And the hard truth coming from the man's side is that sex matters. And the constant toil that men deal with from our side of, like, the game of. There's so much expectation from women on men to get everything and lead. Yet when the men try to come across and lead in the bedroom, the rejection factor is so high.

Exactly.

So you have this game going on for a lot of guys where they're listening to this, they're going to go buy all your shit right now. They want to buy all the toys, they want to buy all your courses. And then they still got this obstacle which is this ice princess, this Barbie in a box who has her own shit to deal with and getting herself comfortable. And these guys have gone through rejection for a decade. So a lot of them are shut down. They don't even like literally has become a game for so many guys. We know where these are good looking men, high producing men, they make money and then they end up cheating. And here in Miami they cheat like crazy. And they cheat because they're like, fuck it. I don't know how to even get through to you what I'm wanting to experience as a man. And so I'm gonna go somewhere else. So when you look at that from the frame of all of this amazing counsel to the woman of what they can do, can a guy even approach this? How would you recommend a guy approach this knowing that he's dealing with, he's not known how to show up. She's now shut down. And the only time they actually get passionate sex at us, even a little bit level is after they've been on vacation for like four days or five days. So then they love vacation. And then they hate real life with their wife because they know the minute they come back from vacation she's going to lock herself back in a box and then he's just going to work more. So what are your thoughts? How does he, how does he even having all these amazing tools. His wife may not be listening and might not be hearing this. Maybe she is a lot of women listening to this too, like a lot. But how would you navigate that conversation for him? What counsel could you give there?

Yeah, so one of my programs, that's probably one of my most popular is called Revive her Drive. And it's for this exact man because it's so common. And it basically teaches him how to understand what's going on with her. And often it's because he's just saying do you want to have sex? And that's too big an ask for her because she's not spontaneous desire person, she's responsive desire person. So she needs to be slowly turned on. And so he needs to learn to take quite a few steps back. And it is very important for women to not just be offered sex all the time, but to be romanced and one of the things that I do is I teach men 30 romance tricks that work like magic. There's lots of kinds of things you can do to romance, but there are ones that get her in her body and start getting her turned on. And those are the most important ones. Most like one or two moving her body in nature. So a bike ride, a hike, a walk, a botanical garden, a rowboat, things like that. Skiing. It's when you are moving your body, you're moving your emotions. And she wants to feel the excitement of being with you. She wants to feel the beauty, the care, the love. The second thing that I teach men is to do more verbal appreciation. Women, especially, need more encouragement, adoration, and appreciation. Verbal. We need to hear it. Men don't require that as much. What men want is to be respected for a job well done. They want to do a good job. They want you to respect them for it. So one of the things I teach couples is a silly little game that I've been playing for decades with my husband that's called three things I love about you. And whenever I want, I can ask him, tell me three things, and he'll tell me three things. And often he'll give me a bonus round. And what he tries to do is think of something new every single time he says it.

Ready?

Yes.

Three things I love about you.

Yeah.

Thumb more. Who goes first? Rock, paper, scissors. Ready?

You do all three.

Rock, paper, scissors. Go. Rock, paper, scissors. Shoot. You go first. Tell me three things you love about me. Is that how you do it?

Yeah.

Okay. Go.

Three things I love about you.

Yeah.

I love how amazing you are with the kids.

Winning.

Yeah. I love how driven you are in business winning. And I love that you provide for our family.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

All right, my turn. I love how you take care of yourself.

Thanks.

A lot of women don't. And you care about it, and I love that. 2. I love how you love our daughters in your way. Because it offsets how I love our daughters, and it's a perfect combination. Number three. I love how you fight for time with me.

Mm.

Even when I'm a dick.

You're welcome.

There we go.

I love that. Can I do you?

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, Great. I'll do. Together. I love that you stand for excellence in all parts of your life, and you provide the examples of that leadership to others, that you're paying it forward. I love that about you. I love how beautiful you both are. I mean, it's a joy to just behold your beauty separately and Together, you're a stunning, exquisite human beings. And I find it really joyful to be in your presence. The third thing that I think I love about you the most now that I've finally gotten to meet you, because those were two things that I've noticed from afar, is how comfortable you are with each other and how comfortable I am with you. That you are solid, individual who are rooted in love and kindness and communication and honesty. And that's what resonates with me the most in being with you today.

Oh. It lights my heart on fire. I feel like all kinds of, like, good.

Oh, how are your nipples?

I should have had these on while you were saying that I wanted the double whammy. What the hell was I thinking? Jesus. Missed my cue on that one. Wow. You know, one of those things crazy is like that. That just. That drill.

Yeah. Warm.

Imagine you even did, like, with the kids. It's like, oh, yeah. I mean, you were like. You were like, speaking like straight God talking to me. That feels so good.

Because him and I, we've talked about this so many times where neither of us feel appreciated. And it's like we both need the verbal appreciation.

Yes.

You know, and it's like, if you just take a minute and you're like, why are we in a funk? Or why are we so irritated? It almost like diffuses the energy does.

Yes. Wow.

So that's very good. And then there's one more piece for the men who are getting the. What'd you call it? Something? Duty Booty.

Booty.

The Duty Booty guys. And that is a seduction strategy that helps guys slow their roll. Guys are like, what's the one thing you can tell me that'll make me a better lover? This is what they always do. Give me the one thing. And I'm like, slow the down. Like they are. They're heat seeking moisture missiles, Danielle.

You know, they are moisture missiles. They are pinging every five seconds. That is so good.

But the problem is that they're just ready to go for it.

Yeah.

And so the slowing down is really important. And slowly making your woman small offers. So what? My men, my mentor, Dr. Patty Taylor. One of the programs that I publish of hers is called the Seduction Trilogy because it has three books and it has audiobooks too, for guys that are just like, I need to hear this to comprehend it. And it teaches the four keys to seduction. The first one is small offers instead of big offers. Do you want to have sex as a big offer? That's why you're getting the booty Sex, the booty duty. But a small offer is, hey, let's go lie down in bed and you can tell me about your day and, and I'll rub your feet. That gets me out of my head, connected in my heart and slowing down. And then you can ratchet the offers up from there. And she's gonna be like, but you're trying to get have sex with me. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. I am trying to connect with you in pleasure and relaxation. If you want to have sex, I'm always available for that. But that's not why I'm doing this. I'm doing this to be close to you because I love you. And when guys get out of that driven urge to just go for it and they slow their role down, it really helps. The other three keys are vision, vulnerability, and erotic vigilance. And they essentially work as a system. And what I found is men really like a structure. They like a system. If they have a system and they use it and they have success, it's gold. And that's been a really good system that I've taught hundreds of thousands of men over the years. And it really helps a lot getting them out, out of that kind of like er. And that's the other thing too is if your wife is giving you duty booty. I love that. I'm just gonna keep saying it. So good. She's not really having a great time in bed. She's avoiding you for sex because it's not good for her. So slow down and get her out of her head, get her into her body, get that blood flowing, get her ladyboater going, use some toys and tools on her, encourage her to masturbate in self pleasure, learn better oral skills, give her yoni massages. Sex has been conflated with intercourse. When I say, let's have sex, people think, oh, it's intercourse. And I love intercourse. One of my, I personally think maybe my best teaching of all my teaching, and I give it away for free, is teaching people how to have orgasmic intercourse. I teach you what to do with the parts so that she comes every time. I'll give you a very, very easy technique that is a real crowd pleaser and it's called thrust in time. Thrust in time is a technique that I, that I basically took an ancient Taoist practice and I brought it up to 21st century man speed. And thrust in time lets you go from shallow slow strokes to deep long strokes during lovemaking. And you do it on a ten count. So it's Nine shallow slow strokes toward the entrance. Because the entrance to the vagina has a lot of developed nerve endings. And once she starts to really enjoy penetration, the rest of the nerve endings develop. So the reason it doesn't feel like much to her is she hasn't done that connection yet. She hasn't gotten that connection yet. And so he does nine and then one long, eight shorter, two long and deep, three, you know, seven and three like that. By the time you get to four or five deep strokes, she's going to have an orgasm. It also helps men because what men struggle most with. Where women struggle most with having orgasms from interference course. Because they don't have good stroke technique. Men struggle with coming too fast. Performance anxiety, premature ejaculation. They want more stamina. And so when they're starting to do the thrust in time, it's feeling really good to her. And it's not. He's not giving her a banging. It's not overly sensitizing his penis. He's slowing everything down. And he's consciously incompetent in the beginning. And so he's thinking, he's counting to himself a little and that's slowing him down a little too. And then when it. By the time he gets to be unconsciously competent at it and he's no longer counting, he just feels the rhythms then. He's got more stamina now too. He's got more confidence that he's not going to come too fast. So that's a good technique. It's kind of like a starter technique for orgasmic intercourse. But I've got many of them on the countdown.

Are you actually going all the way in?

Yeah, on the, on the long stroke.

You go all the way in slow.

All the way in and all the way out.

Slow in, slow?

Yeah, slow.

Can men have. I mean, you've had multiple orgasms, but is that like not can. Men can't keep going like women can.

I don't know. I got two or three bullets.

Yeah, well, that's your refractory period. That's an ejaculatory orgasm.

Okay.

So you might be able to have one if you're younger, 2 maybe, if you're really young, 3. But becoming a multi orgasmic man is where you begin to have full body kind of energy orgasms. You begin to take the urge to ejaculate and you bring it up into your body and you spread it in your body. That's a program that I have called Multi Orgasmic Lover for Men that teaches men something called the me Breath. This is the work of Jim Benson that I publish. And it basically teaches men how to learn this technique, which is. It's three part. There's three parts to it. It's kind of like learning a golf swing or learning to drive your Lamborghini. It's, you know, it's like gassing, braking, looking in the rearview mirror. You know, it's got all that, all those components. It's a squeeze, a PC muscle squeeze, a breath, a specific type of a breath and a pelvic relaxation, a pelvic rock that by the way, feels really good. When you do that to your girlfriend or your wife during intercourse, that pelvic rock feels incredible to her because it stimulates that G spot. So that combination, when he practices it during solo sex and then he uses it during intercourse, he can last as long as he wants or as long as she wants him to. So. And then that practice moves into having full body energy orgasms. So he can calm without ejaculating until he wants to.

To do.

Do you think that everybody wants have good sex? Because you said they're like, like they don't. But I find it interesting that it wouldn't want to be like a desire or curiosity because it's a very vulnerable space to be with your partner and just have this kind of communication. Like to me I think of that as like probably like the most vulnerable you can be with one another. So when a couple is like, oh, I don't need that or I don't want that, I almost a sense it is like, well, you don't know if you don't want that because you've never experienced experience that. So there's something for me that I'm like, is it cuz you feel guilty or bad or shameful? Because we're all human in, we're all, God gave us this body, so why wouldn't we be? I just think it's like when people are like, oh, that's not important to me. I'm like, really?

Seems like, I mean this is like anything. Like people say money's not important, who don't have money, don't have money. And then you get money and you're like oh, wait, kind of important.

Yeah, right.

Same thing with this.

But I think it's important what you're doing with the education. Because people are they literally with religion or with whatever, whatever it is, they don't even, they're like, we can't talk about it, it's too, it's too taboo. And I'm like, but We. We're given these bodies for a reason.

Yeah.

You know, one of our therapists says, like, why do you think during sex they say, oh, God, because it's holy.

Well, we had. We were. I mean, if you look at what has actually been, the teacher of sex is porn.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Which is disappointing.

Well, and you.

Because that's just strictly for the male gaze.

Yeah.

And it's all fake.

Yeah.

I'm trying to counteract that as best I can.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, like teaching passionate love.

We had. We had a conference of man arena tour event in Salt Lake City two weeks ago. We had 1300 guys there. And they. One of my guys that runs a program called Unchained, Mason Kane, which deals with porn recovery for men. He has like 6,000 guys in his program. And he was. He was in line. He said, how many guys have been sexually abused as a kid? And out of the 1300 guys, there was about 75 guys to 100 guys that stood up.

I'm surprised there were more. They didn't want to say.

Yeah, I'm sure of it. And then we got to a place of. Of truth in the room and said, okay, how many of you are actively struggling with porn? And of the 1300 guys there, like, 900 stood up. Yeah. And so you have, like, this instruction that's coming down to guys from what sex is, which are being instructed from pornhub and you porn and all the rest of stuff. Plus they go on Instagram and they're seeing all the. Just only fans, girls and all this other distraction, which is the only place that young boys are being taught to. So everything becomes what you see in porn must be what's happening. What you see in porn is the instruction. And this kind of. This kind of education doesn't, like, exists. But it's like, as you said, it's like shadow bound. It's blocked. Right. Because they keep people dumb over here. And I can imagine expectation. Like, it's hard to shift for women too, if you.

If you. Why isn't that weird, though, that it is shadow bound? Because you're like, if couples could have this, where. Where would we be? You know what I mean? Fewer divorces, more connection. Like, it's weird. It's weird to me.

I'm sure divorces would still happen, but you. I just can't. Of all the guys I've worked with, 70,000 men in my programs. Like, I just. If you play it back, the things where everything falls apart is right when they have babies, sex becomes this weird thing, and then it continues to be a weird thing. And then it's been 10 years of weird thing, thing. It's like 100 of my guys that have cheated or in affairs or now going to strip clubs or going to get hand job massage parlors. All started when the babies came. And the babies came. The woman changed. Things shifted. They didn't know how to, like, navigate.

Yeah.

And now there's like this uncomfortable game where the only way they're being taught is porn. They're not being educated. It's just like you don't even think. It's like you don't wake up learning how to market. You're not born knowing how to be a marketer. Right. You can learn marketing to learn selling.

Why is porn so readily available?

But, like, this is band Sex education is like taboo. Like, most of the stuff you're talking about. Even like the number of Christians I know that could not sit in this conversation with you without literally running out of the room quoting 15 scriptures at you and being like, you are evil and horrible and awful. How dare you talk like this? Yeah, she's for sure a look at her and she talks well. I'm like, I hope my wife's a. I want her to be a slut. I want her to be my stripper. I want her to be those things. And every one of those guys say the same thing when we're behind closed doors with me. So what have you found as you take this message forward and as you've been taking it forward? Like, where are you seeing the big resistance from it when it's knowing it's such a solution? Like, do you believe, like, couples that can find this passionate sex can turn a marriage around like you did?

100%. The lack of knowledge is what creates the fear and creates the shutdown. And when you have babies, the very best thing that the husband can do is get in there with yoni massages, start her, get her pussy going again. Right. Because it's been through a lot and she's got babies hanging off of her and it's very draining. But if you just. In that early time of those new babies coming into your family, if you're just giving and giving and giving with no need to take, you will fill up her cup and then it will pour over. It'll all come back to you. And so that you know, this is your time to masturbate more and this is your time to fill up her cup and get her healed and get her going again and get her close to you with no pressure that's the trick. And it's not hard. Not at all.

I think that in. Well, in our experience, because we have four daughters, our last two, you were better about it. But in the beginning, he would almost be like, I don't want to bug her. Like, she needs time to heal. And I'm like, no, I need you to help me heal.

Yes, help me.

But how did I know? I mean, what was teaching me? Nobody.

Exactly.

And what we're like talking other dudes that don't know. And so you're just like, well, what do you do? I. I don't know, bro.

They just like, they're like weird now. Yeah.

Even some of our friends right now that have babies, like with girlfriends, and they're like, I'm like, are you guys gonna get married? Oh, no, dude. She's super weird now with the, the baby. I was like, weird. That's what happens. Well, she had a baby. Like, she's different human now. She's not gonna be the same human you were with. Like, yeah, she's different. So what is it that has you do this? Like, why do you care about doing it? Sounds like you come from a totally different business world with you and your husband. You guys could easily go do something else.

Yeah.

And you could continue to do.

It's a dull business to be in because it's very difficult for me to get traffic. So my scaling. My business is hard. Right. I mean, it's a dumb business. So I'm doing it because my passion is passion and I'm lion hearted and I have the courage to tell people things and I'm an educator and I enjoy that. So that's what motivates me, is all the love I get from all the people whose lives I've changed. Right. I mean, isn't that why we do almost everything? You know, that's. That's what it is.

Do you feel like this is a calling?

What?

Do you feel like this is a calling for you?

Yes.

Like it's part of your soul's purpose.

Yeah, it is. It's what I enjoy the most. Yeah. Yeah, I'm good at it.

I wasn't saying you make it not weird. It's the kind of light and fun and you're like, oh, okay, we can talk about this. This is fun.

Exactly. And I had some more things I wanted to show you.

Can I show you some more things? Yes, let's do some things.

I know we got a whole table of goodies.

One of the things that I think is really important. Remember I keep Talking about erotic play dates. So you've got your techniques, you've got your communication skills, and you've got your sexual health. You've got to take care of your parts, keep them in good working order. So the thing that I like about toys and tools is that they create a lot of variety and novelty. And when you want. This is something I learned from Dawsey Easton. She taught me that great sex is a simple equation. It's a combination of trust and surrender so you feel safe and you can let go, let your guard down, relax together with novelty and variety. And this is the thing that happens where couples get in that groove. They've got that. What. She's got that one path, and she thinks that's the only path, and she can't do other things or what have you. One of the books that is in the seduction trilogy is called how to be her sexual trainer. How to lead your woman toward her sexual potential. And it's not that a woman can't do that for her husband, but there is definitely something in the masculine feminine where when he creates a safe space for her sexual expression, when he doesn't contract around her being slutty or anything like that, he's calling her to her sexual greatness with him. And I really like that. So when you have a lot of toys and tools and new things, you're like, okay, let me show you this one. I brought this one specifically for you today because I love it. This one is.

I was like, what is that? It's like goggles. Night vision goggles.

This is night vision goggles with a yoni goggles. This one is. This goes around your leg. Legs. And this goes on her mons. And this little.

What is a light?

Goes on her clit.

What's a mons?

The top.

Okay.

The top of the yoni. And so. And it. There's also silicone pads that you can just stick it on there. Or you can use this little harness. I'm gonna.

Where do the straps go?

And this.

So it's like a.

Yes.

Oh, okay. I was like, oh, you just tighten them. I was like, those are really big straps.

That's called the Luxus. And this goes on his penis. Catch. You're doing such a good job, Garrett.

I'm not dropping these tools.

No.

I've been training my whole life.

You put that on your penis, and then Danielle puts that on with the silicone or with the little straps. Whatever she prefers.

Is it a magnet?

And it is a magnet, but it's actually a proximity sensor. So as this Is for intercourse. So as you're going in and out, the closer you get, the deeper you go in, the more her vibe goes on and when you pull out. So if you're doing your short strokes and you're kind of far away, and then you go in with that long, deep stroke and her vibrator gets on more intensely, she's gonna come. It's fantastic. So it's a really good. It's magnetic.

And it really is magnetic.

Is it vibrating on top of this too, this cock ring? No, no, that's not vibrating.

It's just a proximity.

It's just a proximity. So you're coming in and. Oh, yeah, you can feel it.

Let me see.

Oh, yeah. You like that?

I just wanted to see it.

It's really fun.

I like one of those.

And of course you can also.

So you have like the remote controls on your cock.

Exactly.

Welcome to cock command center. We're coming in for landing duty.

Exactly. And two.

Permission to go slow. Permission to go slow. Going slow. And nine, eight. Oh, I'm gonna drill the shit out of this.

I know.

I'm a student. This is my new mentor. I'm like, I knew this in five minutes in this conversation, I'm like, okay, I found my new guide to the promised land. Let's go, babe. We've been stuck in the desert for a bit.

And she can also just wear that little thing without the harness right on it. Right in her panties. And it has a remote control. You don't even have to use the proximity sensor. And you can take her out to dinner and you can give her orgasms that way too. What is this about going out to dinner and having orgasms that Susan Bratt likes so much?

Have you. So you had orgasms at dinner with your husband?

Of course.

Like, he's controlling the remote. How do you control yourself during dinner?

Yeah, he's like, you just do.

You just let it go.

Yeah.

And you just.

I don't hit the table.

You just like, sit.

I can behave. I haven't ever gotten kicked out of any place.

But this is what kick you out here. Your husband goes for the extended orgasm. And again, you guys get booted from the restaurant. Oh, movie.

There you go.

Movie would be good.

We go to a lot of movies.

I like that.

There you go. The movies are okay now. The movies would be great.

And a lot of these things are remote. So if you're not together and you want to do remote play. There's a lot of couples who love remote play. Haptics and proximity Remote play.

So that's so like, what you're like in a different city.

Yeah.

And you can remote to this?

Yeah. No, from the app.

No. This is like new FaceTime sex.

That's what I'm talking about.

Are you shitting me?

I am shitting you not.

Who knew Moses was showing up today, leading us out of Egypt?

I have some more things. So let's see, what else?

Can you control it from an app? I'm trying to get on a business trip. I'm trying to figure this out right now.

I've talked a lot about yoni massage, and I like a tool for a job. So for yoni massage, you can use your hands and you can use tools. This is the enhancement from Womanizer, and it's both a clitoral sucker and a vibrator. And it feels great when you roll it around on her vulva and you let it suckle her clitoris and get her clit popping. And this one, and this is very quiet. If you have kids and you don't want them to hear you using a toy stealth mode. Really super quiet. And also good for.

It's black for undercover.

Yeah, exactly. Stealth. This is ninja shit right here.

Put that in your handbag.

And what I. I'm gonna send you anything you want. So when we're done, you just give me your shopping list and I will get it all sent to you from all of my.

Christmas is coming. My birthday's next week. Thank you. Oh, good.

Great. I'm gonna give you the best birthday present. And what I like about this as well is that for women who are very highly sensitive people who are like, ooh, that's too much. Then this is a very, very nice sensation toy. For the women who are like, I'm more like the plug in Hitachi magic wand girl. This is the toy for her. This is called the Queen. And these are all at Drive desire. Don't worry. Drivedesire.com but what I love about this one is it uses a pulse plate technology, and it really gets the blood flow. It plumps up the pussy beautifully. Catch.

I'm catching it while vibrating. Still got skills. Oh, yeah.

Yes. Oh, wow. So I love that product. And this is my.

Oh, just testing it.

You know, when they tap your knee, the doctor like, oh, doing the test.

You know, you're just clipped in.

Oh, I do that. I stack them. I stack them. There you go.

Just stack. I've got like, I'm gonna get like a. Like a Rambo.

Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a bandolier.

You Need a bandolier, pulling them out.

Like, yeah, you're gonna come in, and I'll be like, what are you interested in tonight?

Well, and that brings me to the next thing that you put in your bandolier, which is you put in the. This is called my pleasure protocol. And this is. So one of the things I like is clean eating. I'm a clean eater. Organic. I eat veggies. I eat my proteins. I'm very clean. I don't eat garbage, and I don't put anything in my mouth I. Or mayonnaise that is chemically. And so this is MCT oil, which is brain food. Right. It's ketogenic, and it has three different parts to it. So first, there's these little melts, and I think, yes, I have some for you here. You got hands enough hands ready?

Hold some stuff.

You are such a good catcher. So that's a little insert that goes into the inside your vagina, and it makes intercourse feel incredible. It's got a little cbd, a little cocoa butter, and your yoni loves it up inside there. So you don't have to try to get lube up in there.

So it's like. It's like a tablet.

Yeah. Does it, like, dissolve?

It dissolves.

Oh, okay.

Melts. It's called a melt.

Oh, okay.

Show you what the melt looks like.

Oh, wow. Okay.

You just pop it in there. It's also good for anal pleasuring, which is a good erotic play date to try, because it took me till my 60s to really start to enjoy anal pleasuring, and now I love it. It's another entirely different sex sensation. And it's kind of like this deep, earthy, pleasurable feeling.

Right.

The second thing that you do is you put on a little bit of this awaken arousal oil on the vulva and the clitoral area, and it starts the connection. Oh, I feel. It's got a little cinnamon. It's got a little cardamom. It's very, very light. It's a. It's all natural. You can eat it. So this is nice. You can go back and forth from oral to lovemaking with no problem. And then the third one, which I don't have a big jug of it here, but is the sex oil. And the sex oil is for all the slide and glide that you need. And so you want to have these in your bandolier as well, because you want to bring a lot of lubrication and a lot of adventure to the bedroom. So this is nice. And then the other thing that I love. And these are fun too. Are these vitality gummies?

So a sex vape.

Yeah, these are vapor de GS. So these have cannabis in them. I don't know how you feel about that. Some couples like it, some couples don't. Taking a little puff off of this can really get you into your body. And the terpene profile of this is really a lovely fragrance. I like to mix it with these little sex bites. Do not eat a whole one. I will send these to you.

Those are marijuana gummies too.

They are, but they also have libido botanicals in them. Okay, but if you want. No, I'm not into cannabis. I don't want any of that. They have these regular gummies and capsules for stamina and vitality that are just libido botanicals. And maca. Horny goat weed, you know, more powamma, things like this. They really.

Horny goat weed.

Yes, that's what it's called, Horny goat weed. What they do is they're very high quality and they get blood flowing. They really get the blood flowing and they get you into your body, you feel more sensation. So these are nice things to kind of layer in to lovemaking.

How far in advance? Like how long do those take to kick in?

An hour for these, immediately for these. So you can layer it too. You can take a quarter of a gummy and then you can have a little puff off this to get started until this begins to take effect. And so I love this. But this is a Florida company. They're here in Miami. They're wonderful. And this is my lover's bundle. So that's a really fun thing to add on because so many people drink a lot of alcohol when they have sex. And I like plant medicine. I prefer to have a little cannabis, A little, some, some cordyceps mushrooms, some libido botanicals, a little maca, a little cacao, things like that. They just open the pathways. So that's a nice add on too.

Does alcohol shut it down?

Alcohol is an inhibitor.

Right.

Even though it makes you feel uninhibited, it inhibits your sensation in your body. It's a depressant. Yeah, it's a nervous system depressant. So that's why it helps for many people with coping. It's a coping mechanism to drink.

It shuts down stress, but it shuts.

It down where cannabis expands.

It got it.

Yeah. It's more of a pleasure experience. And it's a green plant. It is not going to hurt you. Yeah, you know, it's It's a vegetable as far as I'm. It's one of the good vegetables as.

Far as I'm concerned. Yeah, we're not opposed to it. Yeah, Daniel or Daniel. Hit a little. Hit a little slight. Hit a joint once in a while.

It's so funny because I told Garrett, I'm like, I had like a tiny gummy from one of my friends one time, and I was like, I didn't. But I mix it with a glass of wine, and it was bad that way too much. Right.

One of the things I like about my lusty bundle of things is that it gets you talking. Oh, I had a quarter. I don't feel yet. Oh, now I'm starting to feel it, you know? Or. Oh, I had a little puff off the vapor digi. That was nice, I think. Feel it. It actually feels really good. That made that yoni massage feel even better. You know, it gets you. Whatever gets you talking as far as I'm concerned. Right. Whatever gets you. The walls to come down. The pleasure to increase the experiment. It brings some experimentation in. I just think that's. That's a big, big part of how you get better in bed together is you just start having these fun experiences.

That's. That's why I, like, always plan like, these little getaways. Because, like, as I'm. When my kids are little, it's hard to unplug a lot of times.

Oh, yes.

That's why we're like. To all of our friends, we're like, take her on a weekend getaway or an overnighter or something. Because women, I think that's when they feel more free, when they're not stressed about life and kids.

Right. When the kids can't be knocking at the door.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Our toddlers have walked in like five or six times. Yeah, we were like. We just moved into this house. We were up on the top deck and we were just naked running around up top. And our nannies. No, our teenagers were watching, but they're bad at watching. So we're in the basket upstairs, just having a great time. And then up runs my five and three year old. Mom. Dad. What are you guys doing? Mom, why are you naked on top of dad? Hugging. What's happening right now? Yeah, we're like, we'll be down in a minute.

Bye.

But they've walked in on us so many times at this point, our kids are very.

It's good for them.

Well, the thing is, they're just comfortable being around naked bodies, too. I was raised completely opposite. Everything Was like never seen, never talked about nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing versus our girls are like way more. They've just seen and known about everything.

Yes. My daughter's extremely well adjusted and I've been talking about sex her whole life since she was 6 years old. That was when we almost got divorced and decided to rekindle our relationship and then go on to help as many people as we could.

Well, here's what we've seen. We've seen like when. When I'm with some of the stuff we've done with guys and just working on the guys side, it's not tactical or technique based like this. Like, and the psychology we were sharing is like deeper and richer in some ways. We've been dealing with the. The entire side of this from Warrior Mary game, which is helping guys get into the mental place to fix and own themselves and then show up in a way that's totally different than what they've ever been taught as men. But add that, and I've been talking to my business partner in that business too. I'm like, bro, we have to add some tactical.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, at some point we got to start teaching techniques because like, we like, it's. There's only so much to compare a guy for the battlefield when he gets in and the bullets are flying.

Right.

He's got to have some tactical training on him. Here's where this is. Here's where this is. Here's where this is. Let's show him some pictures so I can say he's doing some really big things with you in conjunction. The stuff we're already doing. Yeah. Thousands and thousands of men in our conferences, and obviously they're all married. Well, not all of them are married.

But most of them probably like the number one thing inside of marriage and nobody wants to talk about it.

Yeah, I do.

Yeah.

Yes, you have been absolutely amazing. What would you say is the biggest impact that you see in couples that make the switch? Like, what do you see happen to their relationships when they can really not just have sex, but they actually turn this into a whole new chapter of their marriage? What have you seen?

You can see it. You can see the difference between a couple that has a. A good sex life and a couple that doesn't. The couple that doesn't, they're crankier, they're disconnected, they're beat down, they don't look as healthy and happy. Everything from their skin tone to their gait is hurt by the loss of intimacy. And it's nobody's fault because we didn't get the education. We didn't get that pleasure education. We don't. You know, one of the things you were talking about with all your men is. Remember I was telling you about that program, Revive Her Drive? I get. So I name. I named it that. My friend Zach actually named it for me. I think it's a brilliant name because it sounds like she's broken and he needs to fix her, which is what men want to do. They want to fix broken things. I'm gonna revive her drive.

Yeah.

And they write to me and they're like, oh, you sneaky little devil. I thought I was going to fix my wife. And you fixed. So I was so in alignment with what you were saying right back then about that where you start with the man, you teach him how her sexual operating system is so different from his now. Now that you know how she works. Here's the approach. And it works. It literally works. And then she starts to blossom, and then she's happy. And what do you want? Happy, happy wife.

Yes.

You want a happy wife.

So I want an extended orgasm wife.

Yes, you do.

I wanna. I wanna be on the show when we bring her back.

And you're gonna do.

No, no, I know, I know. I'm gonna take all the courses. I literally just sent a text. I've already bought them all, so I have them all.

You're not allowed to buy anything from me. I'm giving you everything.

All the toys are coming. I'll just have an entire closet of these toys. I don't even know what half the other things you got there.

One of the things I'd like to talk to your men about specifically is penis pumping.

I've heard about this penis pumping.

And I. I'll send.

You never pumped a penis.

It's very important. How old are you now, Garrett?

49 next week.

Okay, so you're. Yeah, it's time for you to start pumping a couple of times a week.

Time to pump the penis.

Even just once a week would be good because you're working out in the gym, right? So you just need to keep working the penis out. Working well, too.

Yeah.

And it needs blood carrying capacity. And you know how when you're pumped up and you've got a good pump and you can see all the veins? Well, you want to see. You want to get a good pump and see the veins in your penis too, then you know it has good blood carrying capacity. And what happens with men is so many men are suffering from, you know, a wiggly. They're trying to push a Wet noodle. Right. And they haven't realized how much their erectile function has degraded over time. And one of the things that I love is working with bodybuilders. Anybody in the fitness world really resonates with what I say about penis pumping because they understand that if you pump up your bicep or you're working on your quads or whatever you're doing that, you're doing tiny little micro damage. And then you take your rest day and it heals back bigger. And so what the pump does, you grow your penis? Yeah. You can actually reverse atrophy and continue to pump to actually improve the length and girth. You can increase it a bit about 20 to 25% within 10 months to a year of a consistent pumping practice a couple of times a week with the right pump. Most of I don't like water pumps. They don't work. They're bad. There's a lot of problems with them. But you've got to get the right fit. You've got to get the right cylinder size. And this is an electric pump head. That's really nice. So it's hands free so you can.

Do your email all. I thought, looking over there, I was like, yeah, those are not my size.

No, no. Well, this.

I was like, jesus, whose is that one?

This one is a fairly. A fairly small one. I like to.

So people don't get King Kong's pump.

Over there, but they come. They come in a whole quiver of sizes. So you get exactly the right one. So this is a small one. This one's actually for you. Put your testicles in it, too.

Oh, okay.

And then this is what gives you more length.

I was like, I am the wrong race for that one.

So anyway, I really like penis pumping. There is also vulva pumping, clitoral pumping. Right. You can bring more blood into the clitoral structure. So women get a lot of atrophy.

Like reverse aging.

We're doing sexual regenerative.

Makes sense. Why wouldn't you work it out?

Why a woman wouldn't want to grow her quit?

Well, she wouldn't want it to shrink. Oh, right. It shrinks. As you age, your labia shrink, your clitoris shrinks. And the problem is that, you know, women go in and they have, like, vaginal rejuvenation, but it's just the vaginal mucosal lining, not all the stuff that makes us feel pleasure. And so what I like is Gaines Wave. They're here in Adventura. They're right around the corner. Gainswave does acoustic wave. To the genital tissue. Both the female and the male genital tissue stimulates new tissue growth. It's a sexual regenerative therapy that allows you to rebuild lost tissue. Haven't you been seeing all those menopause women on Instagram talking about, my labia are gone, my clitoris is gone, I can't have an orgasm anymore? Women are becoming aware that as they go into menopause, they're losing that elasticity and they're losing that tissue. This is another thing I love, which is globulo. This is a topical estrogen. You put that right on your. Right on all of your genital structures, right in your vagina. And this thickens that tissue up. It gives it. It holds the moisture again. Women get so dry. And so having something like low below really allows women to have a more supple vaginal tissue, which feels better for everyone. Right.

It's when you first talk about it, I was like, mom rubbing that shit on me. I don't want any estrogen down there. And I was like, oh, it's for her.

Yeah. It absorbs right in. It absorbs right in.

That's gonna counteract all my work.

Yeah.

Well, we go ahead and rub this estrogen lube on your balls. Let's see what happens.

Yes. Put testosterone on your balls. She'll put estrogen on her vul.

There we go.

Yeah.

Well, you have. You have been amazing.

Thank you. I really enjoyed it.

Were you ready for I love you's back?

Yes.

Oh, I love how comfortable you are with this conversation. I love how you're passionate about it. I can actually feel it. And I know that you're gonna help a lot of people. And I love that you're so happy.

I love that you committed to not just change us for yourself, but to help other people. I love that you came here and traveled from California to be here on the show and to share this, because I know it's gonna help. Not just me and Danielle. It will. I'm super excited. I'm gonna return a report, Coach. I'm gonna return a report on this one for sure. And the third one is I love your energetic certainty around the subject. That makes it very normal and natural. We're very open as humans. And this topic with other people, it's like, they're awkward. We're not awkward, but they're awkward. So it was really fun to be here. And then the last one, I love how much wisdom you have in it, because I felt like half the show, like a student. I was like, Teach me more. And it's the same mindset of everything I do, which is like, oh, I can learn this shit. You're the one with the answers. Let's go. I'm gonna figure out. Cause this is how I've done everything else in life. Which is why we were talking before the show, why this is so appealing to growth minded individuals, men who are after production men who want to grow businesses and grow lives, which is our entire message. And wake up warrior, which is having it all and having the next level of sexual intimacy. Like, I feel like we've come like so far as a couple, but it's fun to see that someone who is down the road a little bit more than us has already still finding more and more and more, which is how our life has been.

Like, I'm thinking this whole time, like it's crazy how much we don't know about our own bodies.

You know, I know I half the we talked about it, I didn't even know.

Good.

The thing I'm glad that we confirmed because this was a debate was can a woman have an ejaculation?

Yes.

AKA poor calls. She said no, I said yes. I didn't know, I couldn't verify. So I was like, I don't know. My guys tell me. But I guess now we know.

Now we know.

It might be one of your erotic adventures is to learn how to de armor your G spot away, awaken your G spot, pleasure it, and then you'll naturally be led to releasing your divine nectar.

This is the only birthday present I want next week.

Oh, maybe a few outfits to go with it, right?

And some outfits. You want me to wear outfits?

Oh, yeah. That's fun.

No.

Oh my God, you must just look so adorable in lingerie.

I do love lingerie.

I do.

She puts on her platform shoes, we turn on the stripper music. She gets after it. Oh, she's like a little bit. I love it.

Oh my gosh.

Well, where can people find you? Where's the best place for them to find more information and get some of your products?

The best place to start with me is betterlover.com betterlover.com that's a great domain.

Very good.

Betterlover.com you can sign up for my newsletter there and then any email you get from me. It doesn't matter what it's about. I send out two a week with all kinds of passionate lovemaking techniques, my favorite current toys, all those things. You can reply to it and it goes right into my inbox. So if you have a question, something I said on the show or something that just you wondered about? You can email me and it goes into my inbox and I will personally answer you because I feel like the. The thing. The intimacy expert to millions. I earned that title because I've answered a hundred thousand emails over the last two decades, you know, and I just love. And almost always it's something that I've been asked a million times and I've got a video for it, I've got an article on it or whatever. Have you already, you know, it's. There isn't that. It's seldom someone asked me something I've never heard before at this point. So it's all out there.

Well, you have been absolutely amazing. Loved having you here. I know it's the beginning of a fun experience for us as a couple and also for like hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of couples that, like, follow us and play in this game with us here at Wake Up Warrior.

Great.

So you want to wrap the show up, I'm sure.

All right, you guys, if you are listening to this show and you found value in it, and I know you did, we ask one thing on the show that you share it, because sharing is really how we get exposure, and it's why we do this podcast. So thank you so much for being on the podcast. It was amazing. You were so fun. I didn't know what to expect. I was telling her I was watching some of the clips upstairs, and I was like, oh, my God, this is gonna be a fun show. So thank you for being here in our home. And you guys, if you're loving this content, share it and we'll see you on another episode of the Date your wife podcast.