Warm Her Up, Worry About Yourself | Date Your Wife | Ep 014

Hey, everybody. Welcome to another edition of date your wife. My name is Garrett Jay White. I am the founder of Wiggle Boyer, and I am here with my beautiful wife, who is experienced the wrath and the excitement and the passion of being married to a warrior man. Here, quickly, if you're on the video, you can see her. There she was. Up. Let's show you one more time. There she is. And there she is. Cute. One more time. Oh. And that's all you get to see until we pull it all the way out. Now we have. We've been doing this show for a lot of episodes. I don't even know matter Is this number 13?

Is it normal to do one show a week? For most podcasts it is.

Do you feel like this is a lot?

No, I just know that you do everything with excess. And so I didn't know if that was too many speed or too many. What do you guys think? Can you let us know? I mean, I was reading the reviews. We have five stars. That's good.

That's good.

Like, tons of positive comments. That's great.

Any people talking shit?

Um, not really. There was, like two comments in the beginning where they were like, I can't hear. Your audio's not working, but we gotta fix. So we're good.

Audio's a problem, but we're good now. We're feeling good now. You feeling good?

Yeah, I'm fine. Let's roll. We got a shorter show.

We got a shorter show. This is a quickie show.

You know what I like.

It's a quickie show.

It's a quickie show segue. Oh, Jesus.

What's our topic? Dave, why don't you introduce our topic?

It's bad when I start to think you're funny.

That means that my slow seduction is like a virus in your soul. I have slowly taken over your bandwidth in your mind. All right, listen, here's the deal. If you're new to this show and you are a married man or woman, we hope this show serves you. If you are a follower inside of the games of the warriors, way to having it all published inside of the Warrior book, or the newest edition of the book come out called Be the man, which is the prequel to the Warrior book. Well, we are here to talk about the other side of the story, which is the topics around being married, having kids, being running businesses together, and ultimately living the warrior's life.

There's always two sides of the story. So there is. I had to come out and make him an honest man.

You had to come bring an honest man. Oh, we don't need those sandwiches right now. Cause we can't eat them on the shelf. You can eat your sandwich.

Give Ruby hers.

My daughter was coming over. You want to come over and put your face on this camera real quick? Come here. Come here quickly and say hello to the people that. You got to sit. You got to kind of be right where I am. Here you go.

Oh, Hollywood. Hollywood. Hi. Hey. Hey.

Someone.

Okay, Sassy.

All right, that's enough. Your tongue is yellow, by the way. Thank you for your orange Gatorade.

Give your sister her sandwich, please.

Give your sister a sandwich.

Ours in the fridge.

Fridge. And put ours in the fridge.

Bye. Love you.

What?

Oh, my God.

I thought she doesn't like cheddar cheese.

She is racist against cheddar. She's always said Cher cheese.

Okay, well, the one of them.

One of them does not have two choices. He will always pick the wrong one. I'm not sure sitting there.

I was in delay.

Send him to the grocery store to get milk. He will get eggs.

Okay, Bailey, give her the one without any cheese.

Take the cheese.

There should be. No, There should be one without cheese and one with cheddar.

Nope.

Okay, we'll take the cheddar off of one of them off and figure it out. We gotta finish this show.

Love you.

All right, love you. Bye. All right, so our children have to come to the studio with us because our.

Well, it's Monday and it's still spring break, and I didn't know, and I was like, waa. You have to come. So we give them the iPads, plug them in, and give them some food, and they're good to go.

And we're good to go. Obviously, I messed up the cheese. I literally was standing there in line and I'm thinking it's like the day.

When you're like, when is our daughter's birthday? And I'm like, you have three kids and two of them have the same birthday.

So I should.

And then I said, ladies, like, really? Like, really, like, sometimes you're like, are you listening when I'm talking? Did you ask that question? And like, I think it.

Yeah, sometimes I'm listening, sometimes I'm listening. Many times I'm listening when you think I'm not listening.

Or sometimes you ask a question, and I'm like, did you really just ask me that? And then you're like, nevermind, I know the answer. Like the birthday question.

Okay, well done. Our show here has a purpose, which is to give couples a chance to have a conversation. Are You a licensed marriage therapist?

Uh huh. Oh.

Are you a doctor?

I am licensed with the slip and slide and the QQP.

I am a Level 1 certified trainer of the QQP and the slip and slide maneuver. Yeah. So neither one of us are therapy therapists. Neither one of us are licensed doctors. Neither one of us actually even have a.

Listen to your own risk.

Grocery store discount coupon card. I have a Rolf card to get credit card. You do? All right, well, okay. Danielle has a Ralph's card. I still do not. The lady still does the beep and gives me the discount even though I don't have a card. I don't know why she does this. Probably not a good idea. She's probably saying, no, no discount for you because you're not the one.

I always look at them like. Like I give them a wink. You give them a look and they're gonna scam you.

Literally give them a wink. Do you do the wink to a lady? Do you do the wink?

I forgot it. And they're like, do you want another one? But what I really wanna say is, like, I'm too lazy to fill out the information and actually turn back in the form. So if you could just go ahead and swipe your card, that'd be great.

Thanks.

That's what I'm thinking.

That's a great segue. Laziness and sexuality.

Oh, I think.

You know what?

I think the beginning. I think the beginning of our show is like you trying to figure out what you want to segue. And like, like we have a topic each week. It's like sex, communication, all this stuff, and you're waiting. I'm always like, do you know where the show's gonna go? And you're like, no. So I think you like to banter to figure out where the show is going.

I like to banter to figure out where you're at.

You're. It's going.

It's like testing the waters. It's like I put a little sample in there, put a little. Throw a little line.

Why does this show always this specific show always turned off to, like a screw off?

Oh, it's not though. It's exactly the way it's supposed to be. The show's perfect.

All right, let's do this.

Here we go. We're gonna talk about sex. Because this is our topic of choice today. Because our banter here goes from sex to money to parenting to communication. Then we come back around to the topic of sex. Danielle's got her diet coke. She's ready to go. She's loading up her system with a little caffeine so she can talk about this. We'd like to thank our sponsors. Diet Coke? Actually, no. We'd like to thank our local sandwich shop for selling us a Diet Coke for, like, $40.

I always have, like, some form of cough, caffeine, Something, something. Gotta get through it.

Okay, so I'm gonna actually introduce an interesting topic on this.

I'm always so excited to see her. No, I'm gonna actually introduce the topic to this. Oh, wow.

Okay, off you go. I like this.

So be a first in sex.

Okay, let's start. Listen, expand on this because you're a little bit of a professional with this.

Haven't you heard the quote, Men are like. What is it? Women are like crock pots. Men are like toasters.

Oh, my God.

Is that it? I don't remember.

I guess it could be, like a toe shirt. Men are like. Men are like microwaves.

Women are like crock pots. I can't remember.

I appreciate that. Women are like spoons and men are like Doritos. All right. Kay, so.

Oh, that was rude.

Give it to us. Talk to me about this laziness and sex that you have. You've demonstrated at times.

What? No, I said women are like crock pots.

Yeah. That had nothing to do with the topic of laziness and sex. You gave a quote.

Listen, it goes back to crock pots and used toaster. It goes back to. We did an episode and I called it Quickie. Quickie Porn star.

Review this for them really quickly, just in case they're here listening.

Listen, it's not that I don't want to put in the effort, but I don't want to put in the effort sometimes.

Oh, shit. Listen. I mean, listen to what my wife says.

You get special favors on your birthday, and there's Christmas and there's Hanukkah and then there's New Year's and that's buddy.

Three times a year, Cinco de Mayo gets left off the list. Should be on the list. So wait, let me get this straight. Quicky Quickie Porn star was a model that you created?

You know what I found? Okay, I'm just gonna go there right now, real quick. This is where I want to go. So listen, we always joke around, like, how many times you have to service your man. And I'm like, you know how you can get away with servicing your man is you just play the role of, like. You just get really into it.

Yes. So.

So it doesn't always mean like you. I know there's a lot of women who don't like to service their men that way, and there's some that do like to service their men that way.

When you say service for men, what are you talking about?

I'm talking about probably, you know, I don't know.

Tell us.

How friendly of a show is this?

This has been explicit lyrics from the beginning.

Okay?

We're the only explicit lyrics podcast in all of family and parenting. All right? We're like knife salesmen in a white. No, they don't know. Tell us what a. Service your man.

Please tell me you. I don't know.

I don't service my man. If I'm servicing my own man, that means I'm, like, masturbating.

Servicing your man. That would. What does this mean to me? I was. When I was joking around like Christmas Hanukkah, I was talking about.

But what is servicing your man made? Say it.

I want to hear you say it.

Are you talking about having sex?

No.

Are you talking about blowjob?

Yeah. There you go.

Oh, so wait. So servicing your man is a blowjob?

That's what I was referring to. Yes. Okay.

This is a topic that came up at a party a few weeks ago. A few days ago it did. Yeah. Remember the mattress strategy? It was being introduced by one of our friends. It was a little insane.

Stop.

All right. Okay. So service your man actually means blowjob. I didn't know this. I was actually thinking service your man meant something else, like having sex. But you're talking about blowjob.

No, I was, like, thinking specifically, like, that's great. But there's other ways you can service your man. Just getting really into it.

Okay, good. So servicing your man is bigger than blowjojo?

Because I think that men genuinely enjoy serving women.

True.

I don't know.

I think it depends on the person.

I don't know. Every girl I've talked to has been like, yeah, the guy seems way more out. Like, out to serve versus the girl being out to serve in that form.

Does that mean the girls are lazy? Like, sexually lazy? Would you say that women are sexually lazy?

I just think that penises are ugly. I'm just gonna say it.

I'm just gonna say it. You're not really attractive.

No.

Yeah. Vaginas aren't exactly, like, on the top five.

Really? But then why do guys like doing that more?

What? Like you talking about giving oral sex?

Yeah. I feel like men are more into it. No.

Well, I don't. Again, it depends on the Couple. It depends on the individual. I happen to be one of those guys.

Well, from when I've talked to other.

People, I think it's less about blowjobs. And I think a technical term is cunnelings. It's a weird word. I don't know why they came up with this word. Cunnilings. I don't know what this means. It's just like oral South.

This show went south. Really?

It didn't go show. It didn't go south. It didn't go south anywhere. But like, here's the thing I want you to look at. Okay? So you've expanded the topic of servicing your man, but you've also acknowledged that servicing your man is important, regardless what the servicing looks like.

Sure.

Okay. So why, why, why is this important? Because a lot of women don't get this. And you didn't get this.

Well, no, cuz there's. I have friends.

I love how you generalize that. You like, throw out like, I have friends.

I have friends.

I have friends.

I talk to women. I own a salon and it seems like, like I'll talk to women who I feel like are not in a good place in their relationship. And I'm like thinking, oh, maybe they don't have a lot of sex. And then I find out they're like having sex like every the night or every night. I'm like, oh my God, what is your husband complaining about? And. And they're like. But then I'm wondering. I'm like. Garrett calls it vaginal masturbation. When the girl like, is just like, yeah, that's fine. And they just kind of. You just kind of like, wham, bam, thank you, ma'.

Am. Right?

Not even lay there. I mean, even on my laziest days, I don't just lay there. But I'm just saying, like, it's. Their girl's not really into it. She doesn't show love or appreciation for her husband in that way. Because maybe she's in a place in her relationship where she doesn't feel that. Do you know what I mean? But she's just kind of like, it's fine. And so I think the guy, maybe, I don't know, because I'm not a guy, but I would imagine if like, my partner was kind of showing that energy that I would feel very unemotionally, I would feel like not fulfilled. Do you know what I mean? I'd be like, yeah, I guess I'm getting off, or I guess I'm having sex, but I wouldn't feel the same Connection, as when two partners actually want to have sex together and put forth that energy, I guess is what I'm saying.

Okay, well done. I agree with you.

I know.

Okay, so, like, I think this giving, this giving, lazy side of the game, I think that what we're really defining is that one person in the relationship tends to be the giver, and one person in the relationship tends to be the taker.

Really?

Yeah. You're a taker.

You know what? You know what? You know what? I'm gonna.

Oh, I like it. I like how you sit up straight and you put your chest out and you put your arms out on that one.

Give the guys a pointer.

Okay, off you go.

Get your girl warmed up and then worry about yourself. I don't. I. You're. Sometimes you're too giving.

I'm like, get yourself warmed up and then worry about yourself. Continue. You've just hit gold again. Every time we do this show, you hit gold. I mean, I don't understand.

Your voice went so high. You were excited. Oh, too far, too far, too far.

All right, so give it to us here. What did you call it? You said.

You said you get yourself. No, no, you don't get yourself. Let your man warm you up. And then the man, you need to worry about yourself.

So warm her up.

Warmer up.

Then worry about yourself.

It's more effective.

Warm your up. Warm her up yourself. Don't worry about yourself.

That's the title of the show.

All right, explain what you mean by this, because this is literally just entering the archives of QQPs.

Women are like, crock pots. Like, listen, even for me, like, I can. I can have a quickie and I can get into it, but I'm literally, like, it takes a lot more focus. You know what I mean? So if, like, if I want to enjoy a quickie, that's. I just have to kind of really, like, zone in and focus where. I don't know, maybe some guys do, some guys don't. But I think it just goes back to, like, if. And same for the women. Like, if you allow your guy to kind of warm you up, then you'll probably get more into it. He'll feel fulfilled, you're fulfilled. And then I just. I don't know. There gets this point for us where I'm like, stop worrying about me. I'm good. I'm there. I'm ready. You know what I mean? And so for men, I would say that's your time to be like, all right, Kind of take charge a little bit and stop worrying about the girl.

So how do you know when the warming up has been sufficient?

How do you not know when the warming up is not?

It's hard to tell because sometimes you pull out this holdout strategy where you just, like, literally will intentionally block the. The warming up process to have to be to. Well, sometimes to begin. Yeah, sometimes you block even the warmup.

It's cute. It's not. It's quick. It's quickie day.

So on quickie day, there's no warmup? Is that what you're saying? There's no warmup on quickie.

Quickie day, you just come out of.

The bathroom naked with an erection and you're ready to go. You're like, hey, listen, let's do this.

That's quickie day.

But literally, that's receptive. I could just walk out of the bathroom and do this. I've never tried this. Walk out of the bathroom naked and just fully wrecked. Ready to go.

I feel like you do that a lot. I literally mention, like, do you want to have sex? And you're like, yes, I am ready. So maybe most men are not that easy. You're so easy, they're hard to get. Try to be.

I'm pretty easy. Quite easy.

I'm, like, disappointed when I'm like. When I'm like, hey, let's have sex and you're not into it, I'm like.

Oh, yeah, it's happened occasionally.

I know it's weird. I'm like, what?

Occasionally it's happened. You've been like, what are you talking about? I was like, no, seriously, I need to get sex.

But it doesn't take a lot of motivation is. It doesn't take a lot of motivation for guys, like, literally, you could just walk around the bedroom naked. Like, just like, two passes back, forth, back. By the third one, the guy's like, okay, but for girls, like, walking back.

And forth three times naked does not do it for you. No, that doesn't count as a warmup.

No.

What if I look like, you know, what if I shaved my body hair?

Why do you always go to this? What if I do a dance and wear an olive?

I didn't say dance. I said shave my body. Like, are you not turned on at all if I walk around naked?

No, I am, but it doesn't. I'm not, like, ready to go is what I'm saying.

Okay, so it takes some warm up.

Yeah.

Okay, so you need some warm up going on here inside of this strategy. You said warm her up.

Warm her up.

And then worry about yourself and then worry about yourself. Okay? Talk more about this. Worry. Worry about yourself. What does this mean, worry about yourself? This is interesting because, well, you got two types of guys. You got guys who don't worry about girls at all. They don't worry about their wife at all. They just are worried about their own orgasm. Okay? So that doesn't work out. And then you have guys who are worried about their wife's orgasm. There's an entire book. It was called she Comes First. Did you know this? Yes. This is a big thing guys have been trained on. Girls should have orgasms first. That's what they say.

You know what? You know what? I'm gonna tell you from a girl's perspective.

All right, good. It's good that you're a girl and you're giving me your perspective.

I like to be warmed up. But if I go first, I'm less into him. I'm just like, go ahead and do your business. I'm. I've got to get up in like six hours. And so for me, like, if that's what I'm trying to give you guys.

Once you've had an orgasm, you're tapped out.

Most women don't go multip. I know. On our last sex topic, you were like, I hold out and I go, like, for me, if I just have one good one, I'm like, I'm good. I mean, I'm kind of tired, got shit to do. I'm like, it's good. And so I would just say, like, for me. I know. I think the whole worry about yourself really works out well for me.

Okay, so warm you up and worry about yourself. But what if I go first? Then you seem to be a little demotivated too. So it's like kind of a catch 22. If I go second, you're demotivated. If I go first, you're demotivated.

It's a song and a dance, buddy.

So maybe we've got to go at the same time. That's never happened.

That has happened a lot. A lot, a lot.

Have you been sleeping with someone?

You know what?

I don't know if I was in the room during this.

Usually how it goes is like, I think you can tell for me. And then you'll go right after, which. That's great too. That's like, close enough.

Okay, so that's close. It's like within, like. So if it's within a 30 second.

Window, you're both at the finish line. You're both at the finish line.

Okay, so within 30 seconds. We've gone at the same time.

Yeah.

Okay, so we've done. We have finished.

Have to be close to the finish line.

But typically on that, I don't go first. Like, on those, I typically go second. Like, I'm holding out, and I know you go. And then I'm like, forget about it. I'm out of here. Let's do this. And I just crossed the finish line with you.

Nice.

Okay.

Good. Go, team.

There's this pause moment where we both were looking at each other, and we're like.

I'm like, shit, did that happen? Bring my watch next time.

Okay? All right, so let's come back. Let's come back to this. All right. A couple sides. Lazy side in bed for guys, though. I don't know, married men. Married men being lazy.

Willing to do the work.

I am. I am willing to do the work. It's pretty much my motto in life.

Do the fucking work. You know what you have to say? Like, I'm always open to, like, not a big show. And so, like, you, some. There's some nights you don't have to do a lot of work. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

And maybe that's, like, a good combination for both of us, too, because I'm like, I don't really care. We can just make this. We can do this quick. You know what I mean?

Okay, I'm gonna ask you another random question. I don't know where. You ready? I think we hit this topic, Warm them up, then worry about yourself.

Okay.

Okay, here's another one. Should you count how much sex you're having and track it and tell your partner yes or no?

I think that's weird.

Okay, cool. So talk to me more about this.

I already told you my theory on this, though. On one of our other shows. Like, you can't. You can always tell when there's a drift. And, like, there's times that, like, we're both so busy, and there's that drift, and I'm like, I just need to take them in the back and screw them real quick. And it alleviates, like, that wife guilt, and it also alleviates, like, the tension. And then it just, like. It. That's. That is like a. That would be a quickie, but sometimes that's enough to, like, bring you back to where Then, like, there was, like. I'll give you an example.

Okay, give us an example.

We. Garrett was out of town, and we had, like, a bigger stretch in time, and I could tell he was kind of, like, edgy, so we I was like, all right, let's just get this out of the way. So we go ahead and have a quickie. And then that night, we did a longi. And sometimes that's a good combination, too. Like, that was a good combination because it's like you.

But we were restoring, like, the deficit.

Yeah, you get that off the table and out of the way so you can, like, have a good day. And there's not that weird rift. And I. There's a lot of women who are. Who. They'll say, oh, my husband's traveling a ton. Or it's. It takes me a minute to warm back up to him, and I'm like, I get it. And my advice for women would be like, if you're. Maybe your guy's in the military, or maybe he just travels a ton, and I know, like, when he comes home, you're just like. You're almost kind of, like, bugged. You're like, I bugged you that you're traveling so much, but I appreciate that you're taking care of me. So it's this weird, mixed emotion for the women, and it gets to this. They're almost standoffish, and the guy's like, I just want to have sex with you. I would encourage you women. And I learned this kind of the. The hard way, because I'd always be that girl that was a little bit standoffish. And then we'd get in a fight. We'd have a shitty day. And I was like, I haven't even seen him for a while, and I don't want to start off like this. Just if you just get that out of the way, like, it doesn't have to be like a big show. Like, literally just be like, hey, how are you? Like, kiss, whatever. Have sex be done. I promise you. Like, the whole rest of your day is just like. And the guy is like putty in your hands. He's just like, what do you want to do? You're like, I want to go shopping, and I want to go to the beach, and I want to go to this. And he's like, that's great. You know? And so I, Like, I used to be stubborn and be like, oh, I don't. I don't. I. Like, I'm kind of. It's weird, but I was like, I'm kind of bugged that you're gone, but at the same time, like I said, appreciative. Like, you're helping provide for the family, and I know that's your work, so I would just. Just say Try that. Because sometimes it's like not that big of a deal. Like just get that out of the way. And then if it happens later that night, great. If it happens next night, great. So anyways, that's all I was.

So this was a huge struggle. This was a huge struggle for us. Cause here's what goes on for men when they travel, right? If they've been gone at all at any given time for business, doesn't matter. Two days, two weeks, doesn't matter. When men are gone, they end up feeling a increased drive sexually. It just happens.

I think it's just stress with work.

And everything else, but it could be that. I don't know exactly what it is. I just know that every man I've ever talked to, trained or worked with, when they travel, even if it's for just overnight, there is an increased spike of being gone from their wife in which sexual desire increases. Now what ends up happening at times, a lot of times for guys who travel in particular, if they're gone for a bunch of days, is they end up in the trap of porn.

Another thing too, if your guys traveling, I think it's good to have sex tonight before they go.

I agree.

Or sometimes when it hasn't happened for us in the morning, it's just like one of those things. I know ladies, it sounds weird, but you're like, just get it done. It like makes, it'll make little subtle things like that will make your relationship better. And when the guy goes out of town, he's not going to be like, he's going to be more focused and just get it off the table. It's not a big deal.

You're speaking glorious words.

You're welcome.

So look at this strategy. This was not the case. So here's what used to happen to us. We would, I would leave on a.

Business, like I said, I learned the hard way where it would create more like tension and fights. And then I was like, and I was like, it has to be not that big of a deal. It's not that big of a deal. And so. And what I notice is like, you were sweeter and nicer to me. You know what I mean? And I'm like, it's win, win. I'm getting what I want and he's getting what he wants. So it's win, win both ways. And I'm not saying there's not times we don't connect and have great sex, but there's sometimes it's like I always show crowd. I'm like, put one in for the team. And I literally mean team, you and I, you know, so here's a strategy.

For traveling because I was bringing up the porn on trips. This is a very big issue for guys. Traveling is porn. So ladies, whether you've known this or not, it just is. If men are gone and they're not getting, they're not having sex and they're gone and they're gone from their partner, the temptation to go to porn is very high. And masturbation, just to deal with the energy of it. Some guys will drink, party, some guys won't do either of those things. They'll just find other ways to sedate. And some guys are on point. And here's the thing that's so interesting about this. When your man is on point and you're on point as a woman together, and he goes on a trip, this simple strategy. Have sex the night before you go. Have date night the night before you go, date night before you go. And sex that night before he leaves. Whether you're fighting or angry or not, like if you do it, life is going to be better because your man's gonna go hunt more powerfully, which means when he's gone, he's gonna be more productive in business. And he's not gonna go to porn because he's going to feel connected to you while he's gone. He doesn't actually want to go to porn and he doesn't want to feel the sexual frustration that spikes when you're on the road. But he also, coming back, doesn't want to feel all kinds of crazy weirdness and chaos. And so if you haven't connected before you left, which Danielle used to fight with me for two or three days before I left. Anyway, let me finish and then you can. Two, three days in a row. We would fight before I left, then we would be gone. And Danielle would cold shoulder me because I was gone. And then I would come back and she would be angry at me because I had been gone for a couple days. Then it would be only a couple. There was about a two day window before I was traveling again because we were losing like three days before. We would lose the three or four days I was gone. We'd lose three or four days after I got back. And then there'd be this window and then she'd be angry again because I'm leaving in like three or four days. And then I'd be gone for three or four days. And then I'd be back for three or four days. And it was this vicious cycle that just never seemed to end. So the solution was simple. Sex the night before you go connect and communicate throughout the week. Sex when you get back. No porn on the road. No masturbation on the road. Just, like, stay on point, get yourself on point. Sex before you leave. Sex right when you get back. All right, what are we gonna say?

So say it doesn't happen.

What doesn't happen? It did this. This exact thing happened going to Orlando. What? We didn't have sex before we left.

Okay. So that's. I'm saying, so you know why?

Because you were pregnant at the time.

I know.

So there was, like. I was, like, kind of feeling a little like.

Well, that's the thing. I'm. This question. So. So say it doesn't happen. Like, like, say there's, like. It's the night before, you're traveling, and the wife's not feeling good, or she's. Somebody's working late, so you go to bed at different times. You don't see each other in the morning, whatever.

Mm.

It just doesn't happen. So does the guy in your experience, like, do you feel, like, pouty? Are you, like, oh, my gosh. Are you?

Yeah, sometimes.

How can men take accountability for that if it doesn't happen?

I think, well, it's tough. They can take accountability for that if they know they're gonna come home, they're gonna have sex right away. But if they don't know, because what ends up happening for a guy is it gets stuck in this trap of, it didn't happen before I left. Now I'm gone, and all this sexual spike has happened. Then I come home, and there's no guarantees it's gonna happen because my wife is usually angry, and women tend to just drift for weeks.

But my point in saying is, like, there was this time where Garrett would have. What I. What I was trying to get to is, like, just be direct, woman. I hate the pouty energy.

Okay, sure.

Like, there's been times where, like, it didn't happen. And then we come home and it's just busy, and you're kind of mopey and pouty. And I'm like, oh, fuck. I'm not. Like, you couldn't be less attracted to me. Right. And so I'm almost like, I'd rather just like, if you're feeling that way, don't be pouty and mopey. Like, just, like. Just be attentive. Like, if it didn't happen, don't wait till it happens to be the nice guy. Like, All I'm saying is, don't be pouty. Don't be an asshole. If you need to. Like, if you need to just, like, meditate and get in a good frame and then still treat your wife nice and, like, have positive energy. Don't care. Because you would do that, too. Sometimes I remember you come back and you'd be, like, pouty, and, like, you start an argument and, like, kind of ignore me and not want to do stuff with me or the family or whatnot, and then drink and, well, either way, I don't know. But you just have this really, like, pouty energy. Like, I didn't get laid, and it's not gonna happen. And I'm like, oh, dear Lord. Like, you just got home. Like, I get that it didn't happen, but, like, I don't. Like, then it makes it worse. It makes it harder to be like, hey, let's reconnect. Let's do this. You know what I mean? So I would. I don't know. I would encourage you. Men, like, don't go into, like, pouty mode either, because that's, like, super unattractive.

I wouldn't do that. I don't go to Patty mode anymore. I used to go to potty mode all the time, though. And I went to Patty mode for, like, 10 years. Do you know why I went to.

Padi mode for 10 years?

Yeah, 10 years I was in Patty mode.

I feel like that's an exaggeration.

No, I would be in pouty mode every couple weeks about it, about sex. And you know why I would go to Patty mode? Because it was. I felt so out of control inside of our relationship when it came to sex. I felt like Danielle controlled all the cards and didn't give a shit. She even acknowledged you're on the show right now. She kind of was a bitch about it. She was kind of a bitch about it. Let's not call it for what it was. She was kind of a bitch about it.

Did you say that you were? I didn't say that.

No, I know, but that's what. That's what I'm saying. You were, which means you were withheld. You withheld it. You withheld it before, and you were rude about it.

I was trying to understand.

You were rude about it. So I went to pouty.

I was trying to understand, like, my own emotions. Like, I think because I was like, gosh, I. It was a cycle. It was just a cycle, like. Like, and, like, we kept in those same patterns and behaviors and like, I. I was like, I'm feeling this way. I can't pretend like I'm not feeling this way. Do you know what I mean? And so something had to break the cycle. And that was kind of the formula that helped us break that cycle and create new patterns.

How did you choose to be. How did you choose to be okay.

With the behaviors that both of us were doing?

Totally. How did you choose to be okay with the quickies? Because that's really what the solution started being is. You change your story about quickies, I think.

I don't know.

You change your story about it radically because you used to be like.

And you stop being so pouty.

Why you always gotta turn it to me. You did something inside of you.

Yeah.

No.

Yes, it is.

Yes. Bullshit. You change something and you bullshit to you. It can't always be about the guy, okay? Oh, the guy changed, and then I changed. Bullshit.

In my experience, like, you.

You didn't change at all.

Listen, let me finish. In my experience, like, I noticed you just stopped. You just stopped asking, and you weren't bringing so much pouty energy to the table. And so then I felt like I'm like, oh, I should probably, like, cross. Like, I should probably. I'm feeling, like, room to breathe, so now I can go step over and let's try this. But I felt like I was being suffocated. And then, like, you were mad or angry or pouty, and it just made it worse. And I felt like it was, like, piling on and piling on and piling on, and I had no room to breathe. And the minute that you like you, it was almost like you went through this phase that you were like, I'm gonna worry about me. And you stopped being a victim. And I'm not to say like that wasn't about you, but that doing that and just shifting your energy. And my experience gave me room to breathe, where I'm like, okay, I'm gonna cross the line. So I'm not trying to flip it on you, but in my experience, that's what happened between you and I.

Do you know what I did?

What did you do?

I got a masturbation employee and I started drinking more. I'm not kidding you. I'm not bullishing you. We don't have time to talk about it on the show. Next time we talk about sex. I will. I will talk about it.

I think you've talked about it.

I actually had to suppress myself.

But you weren't like.

But when I went to Suppression. I no longer was doing the pouty thing. Cause I literally didn't give a shit. I went to a place of suppression. And I also found a hobby. So between finding hobbies and also going to suppression and masturbating between those three.

Things, surfing was really good for you.

Surfing was good for me.

And it's interesting because.

Exceptionally good for me.

Garrett used to do these super intense CrossFit workouts in the garage. And we've talked about this on some other shows. And he would come in and he'd, like, take the kids to school, but it was like, rawr. I'm here to take the kids to school, and I will kill you. I was like, oh, my God. Not to add to the pressure that I'm trying to, like, get shoes on and shit out the door. And it was like, he came in, like, I will eat your face. And so we moved by the beach, and I'm like, why don't you try surfing? It just seemed more like, Zen, yeah, you do it. But it was more than just a workout. I knew it would be, like, something that you would enjoy. And so we started surfing, and it was like, you came back. You come back and you're, like, happy. You're like, hey, guys. And I feel like I'm the crazy one that's like, get him out of the house. Go, go, go.

And I feel like I've just come back. I'm like, Buddha.

Yeah. And you're just smiley and you're happy. And now. And you know what else I noticed? Like, say on, for example, on Sundays or vacation mode, like, when you're not working, you look at me like, I'm gonna eat you, but, like, I won't. Like, you wanted to just have sex all the time?

Yes. All day long?

Yes. And so now when it's like, we again, we live by the beach, and you can see the waves from our balcony or our backyard. And so now instead of looking at.

Me, like, I go ravage the waves.

Well, and that's the thing is you used to. You used to look at me, and you'd liter literally, like, want to, like, have sex. And I was like, I'm doing stuff. What? And you'd be like, so then you'd pour your energy into work, which kind of, like, bugged me. I was like, turn it off. You don't need to work. And so I was happy that you found, like, a hobby and something for you that, like, took a little bit of energy and gave me, again, more space.

I have a mistress.

It's called surfing and I'm fine with that. Mistress.

It's called see.

And maybe in relationships when men are not feeling fulfilled, maybe that's why they really get a mistress. And maybe instead of a mistress, you should just get a hobby.

Wow, that's intense. And that's gonna leave us on here for this show. We hope that you got something from it. We've gotta wrap up cause we got other appointments to get to right now.

Find me and.

And find a hobby. But we have this like we have. A couple big points came out today. One was worry about yourself. No, warm em up. Warm her up and worry about yourself. Then we also have the again the repeating topic of don't be a pouty guy.

And you have the other topic of travel.

Travel, sex.

Just get it in there.

Quickie before you go.

Put in for the team.

Date night and quickie before you go. Great communication while you're gone. And date night and quiggy when you.

Get back and everything's on point.

Yes, I've been on point all day long. I've done tons.

All right, thanks, guys. We'll see you on the next episode.

Have a wonderful rest of your day.

I was trying to end it, but.

Go ahead and end us off.

All right, you guys, thanks so much for listening. And don't forget to tune into some of our other podcasts here on the Day youy Wife Podcast. I suck at it.

I love you. Did a great job. You were nailing it until you, like, didn't give any clear instruction.

I get pressure when it's ending.

Welcome guys, to the day you write POD Podcast. Thank you for subscribing to your goods. Subscribe. All right, listen, Date your Wife podcast is one of many of the podcasts we run here on the Warrior Empire Network. Would love to have you part of this. You can always get the video, the key tips, tricks, action guides for each one of these shows by heading over to dateyourwifenow. Com. So make that happen. We'll see you guys next week as we jump into the topic of.