When Parenting Strategies Collide | Date Your Wife | EP 090

Hello, my friends. It's your boy, Garrett Jay White, the founder, wake up warrior, and CEO of DKW Styling.

CEO of DKW Styling.

Did you know that or.

Or Big money stylus.

Nope. CEO of DKW Styling.

What am I the CEO of?

You are the CEO of our lives.

CEO of your lives.

Yes, you are. Welcome to date podcast.

Why does it seem like there's a lesser. Like, it's almost like your role is bigger than mine.

It is.

When you call yourself ce, it is bigger than yours. No, it's just like you're doing one.

Thing, literally bigger than.

And we come together and make magic and magical beauty.

We make babies.

Which takes us into our topic today.

Wow, that was a smooth transition.

Parenting.

Well done. Yeah, I like that. Now you just got back from. You just got back from a little vacation.

Yeah, it was fun.

Little vacay. Where did you go? It was fun without me, huh?

Well, I liked, you know, you enjoyed it. I feel like I don't. I realize as a 35 year old woman, I've never rented a car on my own.

Really? This was your first time? Yes.

How was I so nervous? I was like. So I just gave you my license and I can sign. I almost, like, felt like I was like buying some illegal, like, some illegal, like, contraband because we got married when you have to actually be 25 to even rent a car. And when we got married, I was 20, so I couldn't even rent a car, which I was like, wait, I can get married but I can't rent a car? That's weird. But, no, I just. I didn't realize, like, I've never. I don't think I've ever gone on an overnight trip. I took Bailey, remember last year, to San Francisco, but I don't think I've taken both girls. So it was fun. We had a lot of fun. And it was like, way.

Was it cool to be with your parents?

Yeah, it was cool to be with my parents. And like the whole trip was like, not. It was like, no stress, like, just easy. It was just easy peasy. I was like, does Garrett add to the stress? I was wondering, oh, did it feel.

Easier not having me there?

I mean, I think I rely on you to do.

You didn't invite me to Europe for eight days.

I know. I think I rely on you to do a lot. And I like to just go and like, I'm not like a huge planner, so I like to go on like auto pilot zone mode, you know, and so like when. When you're There, I kind of, like, tune out a little bit, but it's not that big of a deal. I feel like I'm more on it. Like, when you're not there, I'm like, hey, let's go. We got it. Like, everything's very, like, structured and like.

We'Ve gone through this with morning routines, with the kids going to school where I'm involved. And sometimes it's better I'm not involved at all. Because you're actually more focused.

I know it's weird. That's just my personality. Like, I'll let somebody take care of me, but at the same time, if, like, somebody's like, it's you, I'm like, I got this and I really shine.

Do you know what's crazy? I haven't even seen you for like a week.

I know.

You kind of feel like a little bit like a stranger to me.

I can tell. You're, like, kind of smiling and you're, like, kind of excited.

Well, I was in Costa Rica for six days. It was great. I surfed my ass.

You trimmed your beard for me.

Well, you asked me to trim my beard for you.

I know. We were FaceTiming while you were in Costa Rica, and I was like, it's a beard. I'm not gonna lie. Your beard is literally eating the screen. It is. I like some scruff. I do. I think scruff is very handsome.

Why are you against beards?

Your beard is solid gray. And I feel like we're seven years apart. And I feel like I look young for my. And I feel like because bigger guys and taller guys always look older regardless. Like, you're a good looking 42 year old man.

I just think that, like, very bigger, very good looking.

I just said that.

I clearly just said not very said good look.

Okay, so anyway, I just think that taller, bigger guys out to me always look a little bit older. So then you add the giant beard of grayness and it's. Oh, it's, It's. I'm like, no, I just prefer it cleaned up so.

Well, I cleaned it up. I cleaned it up. And we're now here doing this podcast here on children. Now we're going to talk about something interesting that occurred here this last week in the parenting game. While I was in Costa Rica, I was getting phone calls of paranoia, crying, screaming terror. And right before the trip to Utah, while I'm in Pavones, Costa Rica, surfing, it's nighttime and I'm getting text messages from my daughter. I'm not, I'm just telling a Story that happens to involve you in the story. While I wasn't there, I'm sitting there in Costa Rica, and I have this moment where I. I'm having my daughter.

Have a total meltdown. Let me segue this story.

Segue this story.

Garrett basically tells me that I've got to find a cheaper disciplining act because the broken cell phones are really getting expensive. But I beg to differ, because I went and got two cell phones for $350, therefore, I saved so much.

I love shopping math. Stop with your shopping math. Hey, I had 50% off, which means I literally saved this money. Nope, you spent a lot.

You know what? I get so pissed.

Shopping math.

I get so pissed because Bailey will be on her phone, and if you have a preteen or teenage boy, son, girl, whatever, like, you know what I'm talking about. Like, you ask them to do something as simple as, like, hey, I need you to take a shower, and you're real nice. And then you're like, hey, in, like, 10 minutes, like, when you're done with your game or whatever. Whatever you're doing. That's great.

Yeah.

In, like, 10 minutes, can you jump in the shower? Yep. Mom, I'm totally gonna bed.

They're not listening, though.

In, like, five minutes, you think you can jump in the shower?

Yep.

Okay. Turn on the shower for you. Okay. In, like, two minutes, the shower. If the shower's running, I need you to get in. Yep, got it, mom. Okay, it's past two minutes. The showers been running for 20 minutes. Can you get in? And, like, it just starts getting. And then it's like. And then, like, monster mom comes out, and I just. I get to the monster mom.

This is a new character. We haven't heard this before.

I feel like I'm, like, super calm and collective, and I'm like. I get to this point. I'm like, I have nicely told you 17 times. You. And that's when I get pissed. And I'm like, you are not entitled to a phone. And I tell her that all the time. I'm like, you're 11. You're not entitled to a phone. And then I realized I probably created monster mom. Created monster child. But anyway, before I know what happens, and this is the second time I've done this.

Tell me what happened.

I just get so irritated, and I'm like, bah. And I just take the hand. I just take the phone, and I. And I chuck it. And I always think it's not gonna break. You think that I would learn this time that it's gonna break. It breaks because the first time it had a crappy case, but the second time, it had a decent case, but I forgot. She took her screen protector on.

And.

And literally, as it's slipping through my fingers, I'm like, going, $900. There's a Supreme protection. Yeah. So there's no screen protector. And it was a gone.

And I get a text message in Costa Rica from my daughter that says something like, mom is the rudest mom ever. I was totally doing some homework on my phone, and she smashed my phone and broke it. Summer.

And she was totally doing homework on her phone.

Yeah, of course. Because she does homework every summer on her phone.

Obviously, how it goes.

It's how discipline our children are.

But I do have to say, the one time I did check it, she legitimately pulled up before its last flicker of life went and it died. It was like, there was really school. There was, like, school books pulled up.

And I was, like, legitimately smashed her phone.

I swear, she was texting phones and on Instagram.

What do you do on phones? I watch you between, like, five seconds.

This happened in that one second that I threw the phone. She just had a legitimate excuse. And I'm like, of course she did. Well, which then made her want to, like, blame me even more. Like, I can't believe you. I'm like, well, what about this? I'm like, what about the 45 minutes I've been asking you to get in the shower and the 17 times I asked you nicely? Were you looking at that one book you had to read and circling that the last 45 minutes? Yes. No, you were not. And now I can't prove it because.

I came in and broke it with Monster Mom.

Yes. Monster Mom.

Monster mom broke it. So I'm sitting there in Costa Rica, and I'm getting texts from my daughter. She's emotional. I try to call my daughter. My wife says, you want to talk to her? So I call my wife on her phone to talk to Bailey and Bailey. I listen to Bailey for two minutes, and then I say one thing to her, and Bailey starts freaking out. So I hang up on her and I go to sleep because I got a big surf day the next day, and I'm like. But I have this realization as a parent while I'm sitting there in Costa Rica, and I'm realizing I have no ability to do anything. Nothing. Like, nothing. And at the end of the day, whatever my wife decides needs to happen, needs to happen, because she's there, and I'm in A totally different country in Central America. And I got no ability to do shit about this right now except for be irritated on the phone.

I think at the same time that you were thinking that, I also realized there's nothing I can do right now to make this better. And she was so. She had, like, flipped her lid and was, like, totally irrational, where anything I said, like, it would just get escalated on both sides. How is that turning? It would just get escalated on both sides. And I finally got to this point where I was like, this is going nowhere, because I felt like myself getting irritated. And she's like, you're a bad mom. And I'm like, you're a bad kid. She's like, I don't want you as my mom. And I was like, I don't know if I want you as a kid. And then I was like, what am I saying?

What?

Who are you? And then I was just like, cool, Bailey. And I literally was like, you know where your toothbrush is? I'm going to bed. And I put Ruby in bed, and I went to bed, and I literally. I was, like, half asleep. And I could hear being like, but you're just. She's rambling. But by then, I'm kind of cooled down because I literally was like, there's nothing I can do. I'm going to sleep.

Right?

And then it was funny, because the next morning, she was like. Because we were getting ready to go to Utah to see family, and she was like, like, hey, babe. And I just was like, maybe she won't remember. And I came over.

I'm like, did she remember?

And I was like, hey, we need to get up. You still want to go to Utah? And she's like, oh, yeah, Mom. And I think she kind of forgot. And she's. She gets up, and then she's like, but you still threw my phone. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, you're still mad about this.

So let's continue this story, though, because what happened here? What's next?

Well, you didn't hear that. You can't.

Oh, there was more spice.

There was more spice.

All right, well, continue.

The only thing I have to tell you before Garrett goes into that other part of the story is like, we're on the plane, and. And now I'm the only person with a phone.

Exactly.

And I'm like, oh, my God. So I tell them. I'm like, you guys can play a game on this together and, like, share it and play a game. Well, that didn't work. So then, like, they're both, like, fighting on the plane and people are looking at me like, oh, my God, your kids are, like, older and they're literally in, like, a slapping match. Like, no, it's my phone. I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm used to having phones on a plane. Like, I'm literally like, whose kids are these?

You know, I was laughing in Costa Rica. So I laid my head down upon my pillow and went to sleep in the middle of the jungle thinking about you on a plane the next day without any other toys or any other phones.

It was only ugly for about five minutes. There was a good slap roar for about five minutes. And I just pretended like I didn't know whose kids they were.

Just went down the road.

No, I just forget. I get to this place where they're old enough where they. Their voices start to get loud, and I realize, like, they're gonna be embarrassed because they're old enough to know better. So I just. I just am like, you guys, you're not little kids anymore. And I just. People.

Someone say we're shitty parents, and I.

Just open my magazine and I just let them resolve it. And then they do. It's. I mean, it's ugly for about five minutes. I just think sometimes I'm a shitty parent.

But I love how you delayed on that.

You were like, it was debatable when I chucked the cell phone twice.

Oh, well, I mean, I'm sure there are some parents listening. I'm probably. My parents would be listening to this and being like, oh, my God, they're destroying.

Well, everybody goes through the same things. You know what I mean? It's like cranking their child cell phones. No.

Oh, I texted you when I said this, and I said, listen, there's probably. You said, well, what should I have done? And I said, slap her. No, but you said, no. And then you said, well, no. And I said, listen, this breaking of the cell phone thing is a very expensive discipline habit. Like, because every cell phone you break, you inevitably end up getting a new cell phone, which means we just end up spending more money. I was just slapper. It's free. But you won't slap her. Why won't you slap her?

Because I remember being.

You don't believe in being slapped?

No. And I remember being.

Have you been slapped?

Yes, I have. I remember.

Have you ever slapped someone?

No, I don't think so. Did you ever slap me?

No, I don't think you've ever slapped me.

No, I'm not. No, but you must have A gun in the face. Yeah, I remember my mom backhanded me a few times. I remember one time it hurt. So she backhanded me so hard I like flew into the window and had a bloody nose. So you probably deserved it. And I, I don't think.

Yeah, I bet you did.

I. I don't think I did.

I've been married to you for 15 years. You probably deserved it.

Well, I don't think I did.

And we had an argument.

Deserves to be backhanded, to be slapped. I don't agree with that.

Slap the face or break the cell phone.

Break the cell phone. Every time.

But what does that teach your child when he breaks the cell phone and you buy them a new cell phone?

It doesn't teach him a lot, but it makes my life easier. See, that's the thing is you want to say slap her, but I'm like, I'm sorry, but I think the repercussions of being a preteen and having your mom or dad literally backhand you across the face is far more scarring than.

Throwing a cell phone, then breaking the device and accesses them to their entire social network and they spend 10 hours a day on.

Yes, I believe it's worse. I do. Okay, I think that's weird that you don't think it's worse.

Nope. I think quick slap takes care of it all.

No, You've never slapped our daughter.

Nope. But I've spanked her.

Our 11 year old?

Yes.

You've spanked her recently?

In the last like six months?

Yeah. No.

Yes, I did.

You gave her like a swat on the butt.

No, I smacked her right on the ass. Well, you didn't like this. You came in and you were all upset about it, which is like hilarious to me. So like, you realize, like, sometimes like, I don't know how to parent because you.

Here's what I heard.

You, you have a totally different thought of how to parent. You're like, no, we will not smack our children. Let me break their cell phone. Instead of.

Yeah, but here's the thing that I. Here's the thing that I'm realizing, like with the whole. Even with the whole cell phone thing, like, it makes my life easier and yet not easier. So in the sense that, like, there's times I need to get stuff done or there's times you're on an airplane and you're like, just entertain yourself. There's times you're at dinner and like kids attention span is like 20 minutes where we want to have a nice dinner. And so there's times it's like, I feel like you need to give your kids something to entertain themselves with while you finish your dinner or you're finishing work or you're finishing cooking dinner, whatever it is. I think that kids need to learn how to have some kind of behavior where they don'. Have to be like, running around and being crazy and they can just be content with entertaining themselves. That's where I think.

How did you entertain yourself when you were.

Well, I think I like color. I don't know. I'm pretty sure I colored outside and real cards. And there's always been forms of like entertaining yourself before cell phones. Like, I remember playing cards a lot when I was little, drawing or coloring those little maze books or whatever it was. But there's always been something to be like, here, find your way to self soothe and entertain yourself for a minute. You know what I mean? And so at one point the cell phone is like, nice. And I'm like, oh, cool. Like you. I could. And we still sell suits. I'm on the plane doing stuff, working social media, like, whatever.

I know they come little mirrors of you.

Well, and that's just how it is.

All three of you on cell phones.

That's how it is with life in general. And so the thing that I'm saying is like, so there's this one ticket where I'm like, ooh. If I take away their phone always. Then when like this, this chaos arises on the plane or when they're misbehaving or whatever, I'm like, oh. Like, it's like hard but easy. Does that make sense? And so I decided, I'm like, well, what if, like I even told Bailey when I bought her the cell phone, I said, listen, you can have the phone while we're on vacation. I'm not going to put any limitations on it. Like, just have fun with it. We're on vacation. I don't care right now. Discipline. Mom is. And I'm just. We're just gonna like stay awake till 11.

Some discipline with this coming down the road that I know about.

Tell me about before I went in.

I said to the cell phone store.

Yeah. I said, okay. I said, I'll get you a phone. I said, ruby, I might even get you a phone. Because they always have that same deal at&T. It's like, buy one, get one free. But really they we're just gonna make you stretch out these payments for 12, 12 months. And you're like, cool, but I only paid $200. Now it's the best deal ever. So anyway, I got suckered into it again. But as I'm going into the store, I'm thinking, like, God, like, it'd be nice when we are traveling or something and we have a couple big trips coming up where we're going to Europe and it's gonna be like a 12 hour ride. And I was like, you know what? It would be nice for both of them to have cell phones. And so as I'm thinking that, I'm like, okay, so, Bailey, listen, I know I threw your phone. Probably not the best choice ever. I would like you to have a phone. Because as a mom, like, when your child gets older too, it's also about that mommy anxiety, where you're like, okay, I want to let you go, but I also want to be able to text you and be like, how are you doing? Like, this was the first year where she'd go on, like, birthday parties where they're going to LA and Disneyland and all this stuff. And I'm like, oh, my God, you're just going with a group of girls. That's what you're doing. And so even though there's still a parent with him, it's like the mommy anxiety still kicks in. And you don't want to be like, texting the parent, like, how's my kid doing? That's super. Not acceptably. That's weird socially.

So you probably could text me.

You could. And I do that too. So it was every 10 minutes. I actually just text the parents. I'm like, I'm a weird mom and I'm. I will text you. And I just want to make sure everything's okay. I'm like, it is what it is. Like, I kind of get over that. But at the same time, I like to be able to stay in contact with Garrett or with Bailey. So this. So just like, my point is, it's like I want her to have this phone so for after school activities, she can call me. When she's with friends, she can call me. If she's at her surf camp or whatever. Like, I'm running late, I can call her. It just reassures me. But the only thing I was getting to is like, there has to be limitations so that there's not this sense of entitlement. And so I said, walking into her, I said, we're going to set boundaries around this phone. I said, you. And I said, and like I said, you can entertain her. You can have it for the.

We've not implemented this.

No, I told her after I told.

Her like, we've yet to ever be able to implement this policy ever.

I'm going to make her sign. I'm going to. Literally, you and I are going to sit down tonight. I'm going to create a contract with her. We're going to create a contract. It's like she gets so many hours a day. Are you tracking these hours? No, I'm going to. I'm going to come. We're going to come up with that. You. God damn it. You're focus. See, See, I tried to parent and he's laughing.

No, I'm not laughing at you.

Daughters are out there and they don't know what's going on.

I agree with you 100%. I'm just very fascinated to see this thing actually fall through.

I can't do it. If you don't believe in the plan.

I believe in the plan. Continued with the plan. I didn't. You said we're sign a contract. What is going to be on this contract?

I am over it. You just tell me what you'd like to do.

No, you tell me what's going to be on this contract.

I don't know. I was just simply stating.

Oh, you don't know what's going on?

No, I was going to sign a contract. I said we're going to sit down with Bailey and come up with terms together. That seems fair.

Okay. All right. We're going to co create the terms. Yeah, we should probably come with a plan before we co create with the 11 year old.

Well, obviously.

So what are you thinking? So it's summertime, so I'm excited to hear your agenda here.

I don't.

When does.

I don't have an agenda.

I'm not trying to throw you under the bus.

No.

Played the cell phone game. So I don't know what the rules are.

So there's no rules. I literally got off a plane and came straight here, guys, to do a podcast. Okay.

So we're just figuring this out.

This is the first time that communicating.

In like a week and a half. We've been like both gone from each other.

I'm a little jet lagged right now. Like, it's fine. So.

So what you're saying is you don't.

No, I don't think that you and I need to come up with a plan. I think that's. You want her to come up with. No, absolutely.

You want your mom to come up with a plan.

I need you to stop talking because I've said this like four times. All three of us. Sit down and we come up with a plan together.

Tonight, we do this.

Yes. It's a family plan. We're like, o.

Like a cell phone family plan.

Absolutely.

It's like a cell phone family plans, to be clear.

Consequences, like, if you don't do this, then your phone is gone for X amount of days, and she has to sign it. And then that way.

Do we lock them in the safe? Sure.

Because I find that works well with Bailey. Like, when she was misbehaving in school and stuff, she had, like, these fancy tennis shoes and things like that. And we'd be like. Or take them away, and she'd throw a fit for like, a minute or not even a minute, like, a. A day. And then she would be fine. Like, she kind of forget about it. But that's what I like about the. What I noticed about her without the cell phone, all 24. Seven, is she's more present, and she's not. I can see her. Get it. She's a lot like me, and she's a lot like you, but she gets in her head, and she worries about the wrong shit, and she's like. Gets sucked into the vortex. And I'm like, you're too young for this shit. Except for I don't want to, like, completely take her away from it, because I think there's a lot of good social engaging that happens if it's monitored and it's not such a long period of time. So I'm not like that mom. That's, like, no cell phone at all. But I'm not, like, the one that's, like, unmonitored cell phone. Like, I want to be like, hey, here's. It's not an entitlement. You can have it. And here's how it goes. A cell phone is expensive. Here's maybe even show her the bill. Like, this is what we pay every month, you know, and things like that. And I told her, walking in the store, I'm like, are you. Do you agree to these terms right now, that when we get home, we're gonna come up with a plan? And she's like, yes. And I'm like, okay, I'm gonna hold you to it. So that's where we're at tonight.

Okay? So tonight we're gonna do the planner. I'm gonna wrap up this message here on the date your wife podcast, because Danielle's got to get out of here.

No, I have about five minutes.

We're go. Conclusion. So conclusion.

Conclusion.

Here's the thing I've noticed as a parent being married with children, we have radically different strategies for dealing with things. I deal with life one way. Danielle deals with life one other way. But part of what used to cause so much conflict for us was that we didn't know how to submit to what the other person was passionate about. So, for example, here, coming on with the cell phone, right? You have already given the example. If Bailey back talked and said that I was a fucking asshole. Which you said. She said you were a fucking bitch. If that's the case, I slap her in the mouth. Period. The end. Or I smack her hard physically. But again, differing parenting strategies. Different parenting strategies. Okay, so we're sitting there like, there's a game inside of this.

You would never slap your daughter. So I have to call you out on that. Like, you would never physically slap, slap your daughter. I've never seen you do that.

I didn't, but I would spank her. And I've spanked them both.

I've never seen this.

You've never seen me spank our daughters ever.

Not our older one recently.

No, I've spanked both of them.

Okay, well, you've never slapped her. And you told me slap her. And I said, I will not slap her.

You're the mom. I know moms slap their daughters.

They do not.

For back talking and calling. Did she call you a fucking bitch? Yes or no?

Yeah, she did.

Okay, exactly. So that is where they smacked her.

I just think it's super trashy.

I'm just telling you. I'm just telling you, she said something at 11 that it was completely disrespectful.

Then I set up clear consequences, which.

Was I broke your cell phone and I got you a brand new one. And now we're going to create terms. All I'm saying. Let me finish my message here. All I'm saying inside of this. As you can tell, even listening to the show, Danielle and I have radically different strategies for parenting. Danielle has an ignore and wait until things blow up strategy, and then she deals with the chaos from that point. I like to intercept shit and just punch it before it becomes a major issue. But this has created a lot of chaos for me and Danielle as parents in trying to raise our children too, because we have totally different strategies, and also we're super busy. So I'm gone, and Danielle's parenting strategy gets implemented. And then Danielle's gone, and then my parenting strategies get implemented. So our kids have kind of played in this mixing game. And so when I was in Go Streak, I recognized, listen, I'm not there. I Don't know what's happening. I've got to submit. And that's why I'm asking you what's the plan with the cell phone? Because this is an agenda. You're like a politician who's issued a policy here in the United States of. In the United family of Garrett and Danielle White. And you have brought to the table a new declaration or an addendum and an amendment to the Constitution with cell phones. And all I'm trying to do is back what your plan is. But you don't have a plan. But I know what's going to end up happening. So you're going to go into the plan. I'm not laughing at your plan. I'm laughing at the fact that we break cell phones, then we get new cell phones, then we create.

I think that's a plan. I'm going to try to not break cell phones.

So one of the plans is you can't break Bailey's cell phone no matter what.

Yeah. So maybe in the plan I'll say, I will not break your cell phone.

This is a two way binding contract.

Yeah.

You're gonna have current terms of what you can't do. I'm gonna watch this whole thing go down tonight. That's what I'm excited about.

You have to help me.

No, I'm just the enforcer. I'm like the military that enforces the policy of the politician. I don't have an opinion either way. I just support you.

You don't have an opinion with your phone?

No, not one. Because you're around her the most.

Won't work for me.

You're alone. You're alone. I didn't say slapping was part of that. That's part of the.

I know.

That's. If I, if I take over as dictator, slapping will be initiated. No, not for everything, but if we get a. If we get a statement from your.

16 year old daughter.

No, I'll just slap her.

You can't do that.

I can.

You cannot slap a 16 year old girl.

You completely slap a 16 year old girl.

No, you cannot.

For calling you a fucking bitch?

No.

You totally can.

I'm not. No, you cannot.

You cannot.

You cannot. You have to. Whenever I get to that place where I want to physically take action on a person versus a cell phone.

Yes.

There's a small voice that says you're the parent. And that small voice, it's just enough to slow me down instead of slapping her and just throw the cell phone.

If my son said that to me.

I think in Times when you are at that point where you want to physically hit your child that you should remind yourself that you're the parent. And I just don't agree with that.

I get that. I don't agree with smashing cell phones.

You will not hit our daughter at 16, I guarantee it.

I may pick her up and put her into a room. I mean, I have her. If you're. If our daughter came up and stood in front of you at 16 and called you a fucking bitch and I was standing there, she said it, like.

Under her breath and then ran to her room.

But I'm just telling you right now, we're not saying that. She's sitting there saying, I don't want to eat my dinner, or, I'm not coming home at 10.

That's just part of, like, being a.

I'm saying if my daughter calls my wife a fucking bitch to her face while I'm standing there, I will slap her faster than she can get done with saying bitch. So you're just going to have to deal with it. So you better hope she doesn't ever say it in front of me, or she's going to get slapped across the face.

We should probably teach her that. Those are words that's going to be.

On the policy tonight. I'm going to say part of what I heard went down, Bailey, was that you called mom fucking bitch under your breath while you were walking away. If you ever say that when I'm around, I just need you to understand, I won't smash a cell phone. I'll leave a handprint on the side of your face. The end.

That's just threats.

It's not threats.

It kind of is.

Has she ever called you a fucking bitch in front of my face? No, she has not, but it will be on the policy. It's gonna be a small print right at the very.

All right, this show's kind of going somewhere. Kind of not. What value could we add in the three minutes left that we have.

Have the courage to have conversation even when you disagree?

Why do we always, like. I feel like we're in, like. Like, we're, like, on point in so many areas, and, like, this is the last time. No, parenting is our last.

Parenting is the one that we do not have figured out. I'm not gonna lie to you.

We just need to submit more.

No. Okay.

I do, because I'm around him more.

That's why I'm saying what's on the plan for the cell phone game. And I will back you.

I'm the military okay, that's where we'll leave you guys.

That's. That's where I was trying to go.

Whatever the plan is that you back your significant other.

Oh, and gentlemen out there, here's what I'm gonna tell you. Even if you lose all your aggression, you lose your mind, et cetera. Understand, I'm a very controlled individual. I've never hit my wife. I never hit my children. I spanked my daughters, and I probably a total 15 dimes over their entire lifetime. I was spanked, hit, whipped with belts, all kinds of shit. I was raised in a generation where you did. You talk back, you get. Period. And there are shitloads of disrespect in our country right now with kids in this age group who just don't give a shit. They talk shit to parents, they talk shit to adults. They talk shit to their teachers. I don't necessarily have what the answer is. Here's what I do know and I can affirm inside of it at some point. As a man, it's more important to back your wife and what's going on than it is for you to be right. That's all I'm saying. So for me, this is one of those cases I'm gonna bite my lip, close my mouth during the contract tonight.

Do you think it's a good idea, though? The contract?

I do think it's a good idea. I just think you better be very clear about what you're put on the contract, and you better be ready to enforce it, and you better be ready to be clear on what the enforcement of this plan is, because otherwise she's gonna be another one of those things that never fucking happens.

Cause I liked it when she didn't have a cell phone for a while. And I was like, you can just borrow Ruby's phone, because Ruby didn't really use it.

I know that was the one you.

Broke, but it broke her phone and Ruby's phone. Here's what I realized. And no, I didn't break. Oh, yeah, you broke. But here's what I realized when she had Ruby's phone. And I was kind of like, you're just borrowing Ruby's phone. I'd be like, ruby wants to use it. It's her turn now. And it wasn't because she didn't take ownership in it. And she'd be like, mom, can I give my friends the number? And I one time I was like, that's fine. She can text you on it. And then it was like, every. And so what I liked was like, when she thought it was Ruby's phone, it was like she would use it and she would like, let's go to iPads.

Get rid of social media.

Check her social media. But she wouldn't text anybody because she didn't. And she didn't want him to have Ruby's number, you know? And so it was almost like I realized. I was like, oh, this is nice. Like, it allows her to, like, have it, but then it. She's kind of distancing herself. And so that's when I was like, okay, fine, you can have your phone, but you need to know your phone is not your phone. It's my phone. And that's how we're gonna leave it tonight.

We're gonna leave it there. Here's what I'm gonna tell you. Final lesson from this entire podcast today is this. Gentlemen, I'm gonna speak to you. I can't talk to ladies. Gentlemen, yes, your job to lead in your house, but at the same time, your wife and many of your relationship spends more time with your children because you are out go doing the thing. Not really hunting, hunting. Some of you, that's the case. I mean, like, working, creating, running businesses. So at the end of the day, although you may have opinions about how things should go on at home, the biggest mistake I've made is when I come in and I start acting like the king. When the truth is the queen has been running the show inside of the game with the kids because she spends the most time with them and they figured out their game, and some of the worst things you can do is fuck up their flow, even if it looks like complete insanity from the outside. So just support it right now. I'm going to be part of this. I'm going to stand there very stoically tonight during the cell phone contract negotiation 2018. And I'll be there to watch the signatures and I'll swear them in with the Bible. Put the hand on it. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth you got.

I don't even think. I don't even think that I can say. You can have it a couple hours a day. I think it's like you can have it on Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

Wow, you're. I mean, you're getting more aggressive. Are you sure this is summertime? Summertime. That's right, Summertime.

Exactly. It's summertime. Go out and run around.

Whoa. That means you're going to have to follow them because you stress out the minute she leaves the house.

No, I Don't. I like running around, like.

Oh, you're gonna run around with him?

Yeah, I'll run around with him. I like. Like, when we finally, like, you're really.

Gonna go to the.

Like, when we were on our little trip, I kept them so busy. Like, the only time they had their phones is if we were driving to places.

You are literally. You're getting more aggressive the more the show goes.

I was, like, on the rides with them. All of them. Most of the rides. I was like, disneyland, Mom.

You're like a woman eating, like, a Sunday on a New Year's Eve.

Yeah.

Talking about her diet. She's starting next week.

Yeah.

I'm so excited.

It's so hard to start my diet. It's just hard as, like, a.

Because I'm eating this ice cream. I'm totally full, and I don't care. Let's just see. I think we start slowing. We start slower than going every other day.

No, I'm. No, that's not intense. Yeah, I think I'm gonna do that.

You're going with this. You think you are committed.

I'm literally, like, when I go to work on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I'm gonna take the phone with me so she can't even.

You're gonna take their phones on Tuesdays and Thursdays and leave with Tori?

Yeah, no, I'm gonna take them with me.

No, but you're gonna leave them with girls with Tori with no phones.

Yeah, with no phones, because she'll play with them for sure, too. It's getting serious.

This is a serious mom moment. All right, well, there you go. We came to a resolution here. This is my final thoughts. Cell phone contract, family plan 2018. Final thoughts. The ladies go.

Just be the best you can.

That's all you got for you this week. Hope you guys have a fantastic week. We'll be back the next week with communication, which obviously we are figuring out here, real time with you guys here on zyda, this show, and we look forward to talking to you guys next week.